A message :D photos of my new kitchen and an Anniversary!!

© Andrew

Titling this evening’s Post ‘A message………’ reads like I have some great announcement to make, no I haven’t except I’d like to say to the lovely people who read and comment thank you. I haven’t written anything this last week however I haven’t finished and I have some future ideas, photos etc. But I’ve noticed I do suffer from quite noticeable mood swings which is kinda interesting, anyways I haven’t posted but I will be 🙂 ………. wouldn’t half like to retire from work, my boss has even bigger mood swings than I do!

…………. and I might add my two erotic tales (pornography’s nearer to the mark) took it out of me, takes a lot of effort to write fictional tales but seriously I take a lot of care like you all do, and you don’t know how happy all those likes made me, wow erotic fantasy poetesses enjoyed reading, amazing……… :/ hmm I’m a bit of a ‘like tart’.

In the meantime I’ve splashed out and had a new kitchen installed hence the photos 😀 if anyone’s remotely interested………………… the old one my mother described as “an absolute disgrace!”

( :/ it is what it is…….. a kitchen!)

anniversary-2xCoincidentally at the same time as writing this evening I received a notification from WordPress tonight informing me I had been blogging here for one whole year, wow one year fancy that.

Then I glanced through my statistics and realised 803 people have liked a post perhaps enjoying a tale or two or the photos I’ve shared with you, thank you again and I really do mean that. 🙂 I understand I’m a bit of a curiosity, a little obsessed with sex and perhaps tooo honest and revealing of my personality but that’s ok people enjoy reading and I have a loyal following which makes me happy. ❤

Andrew

R.E.M. – Everybody Hurts

©R.E.M. – Everybody Hurts

While ‘scrolling through’ and reading a lady’s written blog posts I happened across ‘Everybody Hurts’ and I guess because the song’s quite old now, I hadn’t listened in a while, then I remembered I’d bought the album CD (what’s one of those I hear you ask) when first released.

The album’s ok 🙂 , honest of me 🙂 For ALL of us certain songs are memorable, for personal reasons the lyrics may embed in our consciousness, lyrics we’ll never forget, who knows why emotions are experienced by some and not others except the affect can be quite profound.

Well ‘Everybody Hurts’ for me is one of those songs. Enjoy 🙂

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on.
Don’t let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it’s time to sing along.
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on.

Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends.
Everybody hurts. Don’t throw your hand. Oh, no. Don’t throw your hand.

If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you’re on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on.

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes.
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.
Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on.

Andrew

 

Erotica ‘Pretty girl on a train’ (the ending)

( 🙂 A lady blogger asked me why I didn’t have a second blog just for my sexy stories (they’re not for everyone I agree). Hmm good point, a great point but no. So if you’re new to my blog there is no real theme just whatever ‘takes my fancy’ that evening 🙂 family, photography, sexy stories, cookery, sex, nature, Life in Oxford, sex, music anything and everything with humour? One rule, religion! Discussing religion is banned here)

Original story written by ©Andrew (A story for mums dads and adults only, if you’re under 16 believe me it’s boring! 🙂 go play a computer game it’ll be more fun and note this adheres to WP guidelines)tactics-every-guy-must-know-to-kiss-a-girl-07

Continued……………… “Emily I’ve got no condom!! a mixture of shock and distress in my voice!

Emily recoiled back toward the window, releasing her arms from around my neck pushing my shoulders away at the same time, two strangers facing each other less than two feet apart, every sinew and muscle squeezed tight holding my body stiff, she looked into my eyes our waists the only part of our bodies touching, now raising a finger to my lips she said,

“It’s ok Andrew”……”I’m clean and I trust you”, smiling a wicked love in her eyes,

“I never f*ck with a condom anyway, I only take a man if I can feel the skin of his dick inside me”, throwing her head back giggling like a sex starved girl from a single sex boarding school.

Pushing me away still further, so forcibly, my back hit the cubicle door slamming it shut, “God that hurt” I whispered to myself, visions of a trolley dolly listening the other side, witnessing the dirty deed I was gonna inflict on this pretty girl with auburn hair.

Emily reached down grabbed the hem of her tee shirt at her waist pulling it toward the ceiling, the stretchy cotton fabric revealing her large round breasts and yes her nipples were as big as I’d imagined chocolate brown against pale pink skin. One final tug at her hair as she pulled the garment over head, brunette bangs kissing Emilie’s cheeks as they dropped to her shoulders, finally placing it in the sink.

Jesus what vision of a woman, I devoured her bouncing breasts with my eyes until I could gaze no more, then pushing my ass into the door I grabbed hold of her boobs with both hands feeling her hard pointed nipples pressing into my palms.

Continuing to seduce me with her sexy voice now hushed so no one could hear, “you’re gonna screw me in the ass” pulling a tube of lubricant from her pocket with her right hand,  even if she could have seen my face I don’t think my wide open mouth and shocked expression was gonna stop her greasing up!

Emily facing the glazed window, I pulled her jeans down revealing peachy butt cheeks, yet she wore no knickers, ‘well perhaps that ticket collector does have them after all?’ Squeezing the remaining tube contents into the palm of her hand, she demanded one final time, “Andrew you are going to fuck me in my ass” as she reached round dividing her two cheeks, fingers opening her butt hole with one hand, fingers of the other pressing as much lubricant as she could physically force inside. Then all done she went back to gripping the rim the ceramic sink, receptive, ready,

“are you a virgin” I asked

“you ARE joking!” Looking back at me mystified, “I f*cked the ticket collector earlier AND he’s got my knickers AND I got my period” she grumbled!!

‘Jesus is this another dream?’ My bewildered mind caving into reality

“F*CK ME!!” grabbing hold of my hard penis so tight it hurt, oh yes Emily is alive her fingers circling around my purple tip, then releasing her hold, gripping the vibrating sink, I pressed into her asshole sending shivers up my spine as I touched her slippery opening, wincing slightly Emily says,

“Come on, there’s not much time, I want your cum inside me”,

Not a man to be asked twice, her soft ass cheeks divided, my engorged hard-on penetrated Emily’s warm anus, it’s slippery coating taking me deep inside, then I began to f*ck that tight asshole, god how I f*cked her pounding thrusting my groin at her arse in time to the rocking carriage, my penis shaft pulling half out then straight back in, pressing my hardness ever deeper into her rectum, my girth making her hole sting, Emily squeal with every violent stroke.

Out of breath as if I’d just sprinted a mile, I could palpably feel my balls rise, their storks contract as my scrotum tightened, ever faster harder my torso slapped into her ass, back of her hands showing white from gripping the rim so forcibly, her forehead kissing the glazed glass panel, Emily’s stinging anus making her eyes water then slowing the force of my stroke stopping to near standstill, I looked to the skies, but all I see is dirty yellow Formica ceiling and calmly saying,

“I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum.”

Emily now looking back lucid and in total control of her senses, understanding the precarious position she’s in, unlike me slowing from near frenzy I held my pause before orgasm as long as I could, not waiting for her answer just holding onto those pleasurable moments surely a gift from God, only a man knows how they feel, spends his whole life craving those seconds.

Then one final remark from Emily pleading “Well f*cking cum then” at the same moment as my groin orgasmed, a convulsion from my hips along the shaft of my lubricated phallus, a near ejaculate explosion between parted ass cheeks, finally pumping semen deep from within my balls into her rectum, me so far inside her now, thick phallus stretching her walls to a limit, Emily near crying tears of pain as I thrust her every last drop of my creamy ejaculate!

Still inside her my brutal violation of her backside subsiding, my breath returning to normal, hands still tight aside her waist, silence was broken by a loud thud on the door, followed my a worried ticket collector’s voice,

“are you ok in there Emily” There’s a girl come running from outside the toilet screaming to her mother!!” Screaming! I said to myself, thank God she hadn’t seen what I’d just done, unaware of what dirty filthy joy me and Emily had consummated and WTF he called her Emily!! 

He asked again,“well are you ok? She’d desperate to use the lavatory!”

Emily coming to her senses as we uncoupled, reaching her hands down searching for her jeans replying to the train guard a tremble in his voice!

“Wait one second we’ve finished!”

“I MEAN I’VE FINISHED!!!”

©Andrew

(I hope you enjoyed 🙂 )

‘Pretty lady on a train’, (the reveal – pt4)

Original fiction written by ©Andrew 

young_woman_on_a_train_by_johanneslaaksonen-d5ematj

Click here to link For Pt3

Continued……………………….gasped my last breath and died!

And here’s you thinking I was going to the dining car, Emily and I sharing lunch together, me fingering her wet pussy as we ate dover sole 😉

Part 4

Hedgerows streaked past my carriage window now replacing the flat green moorland with its purple tipped heather. Then feeling a tap on my shoulder, a shock near stopping my heart from beating, I opened my eyes and there looking down at me stood a man dressed in blue tunic and matching coloured hat, his hand now recoiling after having shocked my body into life, the other clasping a small metal ticket puncher reflecting sunlight now streaming through our train carriage window. 

I’d fallen asleep hadn’t I!

I looked at the gentleman’s face, paused then sideways glanced to where my young female friend was sitting, she’d gone, disappeared, only minutes ago I’d been chatting to a pretty young lady with long auburn hair and now her seat was empty. 

“Where is she?” I exclaimed at the ticket collector a look of disbelief across my face, glancing again at her now vacant seat because to my utter astonishment she’d vanished! My new young friend called………was no where to be seen!

Panic in my eyes, still coming to my senses I turned to the man dressed in blue uniform and asked, “where’s Emily?” Soon followed by darker thoughts though nothing is surprising anymore me on this the most unusual day of my life!

Am I coming across as too calm and collected or is this one silly post to many?

‘Last time I saw Emily she was pushing me out the carriage door, screaming like a lunatic hatred in her eyes as if she was the living devil herself, me falling onto the tracks, hitting my head on sharp grey stone dying a horrible death!’

However I am most definitely alive!’

Then a lucidity common-sense sanity and comfort enveloped by brain, bringing me back to my senses, I’d been dreaming hadn’t I, five ten minutes ago a combination of warm air and carnal excitement had nudged me into a deep sleep and now looking at the train official’s face one third time, reality finally dawned on me, my violent death, laying in a pool of blood, my train disappearing toward Gromont station had all been a dream.

“Sir you’re back in the land of the living” my train official replied with a chuckle, then beginning to move away, having spotted the lady with the daughter waving her hand to catch his attention, he replied one final time and I might add blushing also,

“what I’d been meaning to tell you sir………..well how can I put this………..your wife has asked me from inside the lavatory, can you please bring her some tissues!” And now his cheeks a full crimson red…………..”our train company has messed up on consumables!”

And with that he turned and rather quickly made for the opposite end of our carriage,

“Oh my god” I said to myself again looking at the cushioned seat where Emily once sat “this IS the strangest day of my life!”

Reaching for tissues in my pocket and rising out of my seat, excitement reinvigorating my sanity, I moved towards the open door feeling a bulge in my jeans making it uncomfortable to move, anticipating what I assumed would be sex and hoping this girl called Emily didn’t want to show me the art deco sink tap fittings!

My heart began to race again! Fresh blood making the cheeks of my face burn and my penis broaden to its full girth!

Balancing myself as I pushed that same headrest, passing through that same door Emily had minutes earlier I near stumbled into the dimly lit space coupling the two carriages together and approaching a door to my left slightly ajar, because as we all know open bathroom doors mean its un-vacated also taking a sharp intake of breath I decided to enter!

Squeezing my slim body around the oak door panel, opening into a space no larger than three metre’s square, I looked straight ahead facing the dark silhouette of a woman resting her ass on the corner of a clean white ceramic sink, hands clasping the white china supporting herself.

The woman was Emily, a dark silhouette affront a window emanating such a bright light into our dimly lit cubicle making my eyes sting uncomfortably as they adjusted to the dark against white contrast. My shoes now glued to the spot I paused, then she near leapt toward me flinging her arms around my shoulders drawing my body tightly into hers.

“What took you so long” she whispered, “I take it the ticket man said I wanted tissues, f*ck where have you been?”

“I fell asleep didn’t I!!!” relief in my voice.

‘Omg’ the warmth from her body against mine, the warmth of the affection between us was intoxicating a sexual excitement making me swallow hard! Then with her mouth close to my ear she whispered softly,

“Andrew we’ve only fifteen minutes before Gromont, enough time for me to feel you inside me”,

“yes!” I replied “oh god yes…….please!…………….Emily I need to f*ck you.”

An icy cold shudder flowed through my body, an omg flashed across my mind like fork lightening across blackened midnight skies, in a state of panic, you have to believe this wasn’t disappointed resignation, for whatever her answer I was by now so sexually excited, my dick engorged with blood so hard the throbbing in my groin painful within my tight jean crotch, my mind was made up to f*ck Emily.

I’m a kind quiet gentleman but a sexually excited male is always minutes away from animalistic copulation, a desperate need to release his ejaculate urges him on, an eroticism as old as man himself and it’s at time’s like these an excited male however decent a man may not be able to stop from forcing himself inside a woman, how many occasions have you screwed outdoors in fits of passion having forgotten protection?

‘Protection! Sh*t I’ve no condom!’

My mind ablur, pleasure giving chemicals surging through my brain I dropped my hands to my belt, all the while breathing deeply into her ear, she wasn’t going anywhere I thought to myself Emily trapped between china sink and the whole front of my body arms around my neck pulling me in to her. I leaned back slightly, this bloody train was beginning to make me angry near throwing me sideways into partitioning walls, my waist no longer pressing into hers I unbuckled my belt fumbled my jeans button open, unzipping, at last feeling the relief as my penis sprung forward from constraints of my jeans its purple tip trapped against raw cotton blue denim.

Then in a moment of clarity, my dick comfortable at last, my heart still thumping I calmly said to her,

To be continued…………………

©Andrew

 

‘Pretty lady on a train’ (the twist – pt3)

Original in every way, a story written by me ©Andrew 

My erotic tale is sexually explicit (err very but if you know me it’s a happy good natured tale and my favourite :/ ) anyways if you’d like to read then feel free to comment I’ll give you the password and if you wish I’ll delete the comment. 🙂

Durbin_LadyTrain

Click here for Pretty lady….. pt2

Continued……………… swallowing hard I replied a boyishly quiet “because I’d love to see them”, then feeling ever more confident,

“because I want to suck one of those hard nipples”, trying not to laugh at the same time!

A thought flashed my mind, wow I’d said that involuntary without any self control, I deserved a slap around the cheeks, Emily crying out for the guard, an accusation of sexual harassment.

“No” Emily replied recoiling away, my face must have been a picture, mouth wide open me with thoughts of jeeze what have I gone and done now, the pits of my stomach ached as though punched hard!

I was dumfounded frozen in time, not a part of my body moved as I watched her stand from of her rather grimy cushion, then she threw me another one of her sweet smiles, omg I’ve never been more relieved in my whole life, she inched her slim hips around the desk showing me shapely strong looking thighs inside tightest of tight blue jeans and as she moved I watched the raw cotton follow the contour of her crotch, that oh so sexy curve of a woman’s body disappearing through vagina bridge back towards what I assumed was a trim ass.

Then my attention’s suddenly drawn to her face again, the outline of Emily’s sexy frame, a gorgeous slender figure gracefully rising, her hand reached out fingers clasping onto the headrest next to the door frame, door already held open by a door stopper so as to allow refreshment carriages to pass through. Pausing looking across at me, standing tall now balancing between seat inside this old carriage rhythmically swaying side to side. 

Slipping her rain coat up over her shoulders, throwing it back to the seat she’d just vacated, now looking the handsome young woman she actually was, stretchy cotton tee shirt hiding her slim waist yet clinging to her body over large breasts jiggling in response to our train weaving itself through rain sodden northern moorland. Emily looked into my eyes, smiled, momentarily glancing down toward the other end of the carriage ascertaining how many people accompanied us, for your knowledge, I was correct a lady and her five year old daughter many rows away, she returned her gaze and in hushed voice knowing our micro family could be listening, said,

wait one minute then follow me through that door”, pointing as she moved away, catching my eye with a tiny wink

In a state of near shock, I reclined my body into soft cushions, rubbed mist off the glass gazing out the window hedgerows streaked past replacing the monotony of purple tipped heather, wow I thought to myself they’d never believe this at work my heart rate slowing a little, and now she wants me to follow her to the bathroom, I smiled to myself ‘are you going after her or sit here and read your book?’ twenty minutes ago I was a tourist making my way to a Yorkshire village famous for drama’s on the telly, now I’ve just been propositioned by a hiker called Emily.

One agonising minute passed!………………..Then one more………..then another, I’d nodded off into a deep sleep, head cocked to one side resting deep into the cushioned headrest, a combination of heat rising from the heater beneath the bench seat, rhythmic rocking of the coach, excitement from meeting Emily, prospects of probably the most fantastic sexual experience in my life all sent me to sleep!

Another five minutes, then I near jump out of my skin! The shock of a gentle tap on my shoulder near killed me stone dead, coming to my senses, I looked up at a man standing wearing blue hat with ticket puncher in his hand,

“My apologies sir!” he said, “but I’m afraid I must see your ticket, quickly I rush rummaged through my pockets handing it to the train guard whilst hurriedly barging past him hand grabbing the same head rest Emily had touched many minutes previous,

“Oi careful” he exclaimed “what about this ticket” pushing it toward me, I paused turning round grasping the white piece of card breathing ever quicker.

“And you’ll be wanting this” producing what looked like a pair of pink panties still damp from his pocket with the other hand! “But five minutes ago a young lady walked right past you, coming up to me whilst I chatted to a lady and her young daughter!”

“WHAT” I said in a panicked state of mindless confusion!

“You were asleep sir, your wife paused to look at you then near ran up to me pressing this underwear into my hand, she glanced at the mother, called her a nosey bitch then ran up the aisle in that direction” as he pointed to the open carriage door furthest from me,

“Crying she was sir, very upset.”

I sat back down in Emily’s seat both my hands pressing upwards into my cheeks tearful eyes staring straight ahead.

“Well I’ll bid you a goodbye” patronised the guard, pressing the pink cotton cloth into a palm of my hand then proceeding to walk through the carriage door Emily had walked through but ten minutes earlier.

I looked down at the scrunched up ball of material resting upon my unfurled hand and could just make out a large round circle of red, she’d been bleeding into her panties gusset hadn’t she!

You can imagine the state I’m in, shaking my head angry at myself, “how could you be so stupid”, I mumurred to myself, grief stricken distraut “jeeze Andrew you were gonna f**k her and now Emily’s gone.

Wait I said to myself, this is a train, it hasn’t stopped no one’s gotten off, head out of my hands a look of dawning composure crossed my face,

‘EMILY IS STILL ON THIS TRAIN!’

Holding that thought in my mind I turned and ran along the carriage aisle, right past a startled mother pulling her daughter close to her bosom, carried on running I did through the open entrance doorway, past a closed toilet door, coming to a breathless halt in that small area where two cars at joined together.

Second giant shock of that afternoon who’s standing before me? Emily naked not a stitch of clothing on her body, right arm outstretched her hand clasping shiny handle of an open carriage door, the one you use to alight and depart. The wind rushing inwards, sounds of clackety clack as the carriage hurtled along it’s tracks, the sound banging in my head so loud I couldn’t make out the words Emily was mouthing me, looking upwards from her feet she’s a vision of Venus, brunette mound of hair sprouting from her vagina her tits jumping up and down to the rocking rhythum of the coach my gaze upwards again her pretty smile had disappeared, blood red replacing emerald green in her eyes.

“What are you saying” I shouted, “what!” “I can’t hear!” With that she beckoned me closer with her free hand, dutifully I felt my way forward outstretched hand pushing against the toilet door inching me forward until one foot distance lay between us.

“What!” I shouted again the mixed cacophony of noise deafening both our hearing senses.

Emily that sweet smile wiped from her face, evil anger in her eyes, viciously groweled shouting ” You missed your chance you c*nt” whilst throwing her head back screaming like a lunatic, then with all her might this slim woman could muster, lunging both hands into my chest, me losing all sense of balance, this possessed she devil pushed me out the open door, my hands unable to clasp the door frame as I fell through on to the tracks where I smashed my head against sharp stones, gasped my last breath and died!

And here’s you thinking I was going to the dining car, Emily and I sharing lunch together, me fingering her wet pussy as we ate dover sole 😉

To be continued………..

©Andrew

Erotica. Pretty girl on a train pt2/5

Original in every way, a story written by me ©Andrew (unlike every other post on Blog Andrew my tale is a complete ‘work’ of fiction)

1

Continued from pt1 of 4………………

The lady bloggers I hoped would read my story have done which makes me so happy 🙂 however if you’re one who missed lol, comment and I’ll give you the password. Why have I done this? All of a sudden I became all precious and self important, truth is I enjoyed writing this one and the people I care about liked 🙂 that’s all.

…..my lame reply didn’t seem to matter, awkwardness and silence broken we began to chat about where we lived, occupations that employ us, partner’s, oh yes I managed to slip that one in! Turns out we’re both ‘single’ and in truth I am, but a pretty young lady like Emily is NO WAY single yet she wears no wedding ring, no engagement ring and as you’re too well aware a guy always looks at a girl’s ring fingers!

Warmth flowed between us and friendly conversation is struck up, it’s a given Emily and I liked each other, oh yes I forgot to tell you she’d let slip her name was Emily, a pretty name don’t you think? Hmm, Andrew and Emily has a nice ring to it, where was I, yes she wore no rings, maybe a woman who’s up for extra marital sex removes her band of gold, yet a girl betrothed sometimes leaves her engagement on! Confuses me so, is she single or is she not?

Returning my gaze to her red lips appearing fuller rosier in colour now, hmm that’s odd Emily wore no lipstick! Our shared carriage had been warmed by hot air blowing up from under the seats, the engine working harder pulling this great length of carriage had plumped Emily’s lips, flushed her cheeks a soft shade of pink, our heated intimate carriage space ensuring her feminine sexiness sparked alive, a wicked thought crossed my mind, doesn’t warmth inside a lady’s pelvic region make something else down there blush rosy red, make her catch a breath as she crosses her legs!

Fifteen or so minutes pass into our journey together our conversations became happier and fun, giggles from her at my small talk, takes me a while to relax but once warmed I like to think myself as an amusing guy, a turn of phrase here and there, an anecdote one or two amused her and by now a quarter into our journey we are good friends.

Then Emily did something quite unexpected she ceased talking, looking down at her map sole purpose unfurling the sheet a concentration drawn to most probably how far we’d travelled! Oh shit I said to myself leaning back, elbows still resting on the tables edge, ‘what did I say wrong’, ‘why’s she suddenly lost interest’ my mind went into overdrive ‘has it crossed her mind we’re becoming that little bit too familiar that little over friendly for two complete strangers who’d only just this met’, my heart sank, I wasn’t chatting her up, most definitely not, I’m shit at that anyways, I’m the last man alive to pull birds in a nightclub ambitions to leave the club with a young lady, find ourselves a dark alley where she’ll lean her back against a wall, lift up her dress, pull down her knickers and I’ll penetrate her forgetting my condom, a little worse for wear but still sane enough to withdraw come the time.

I watched her head drop fingers tracing coloured lines denoting roads on her walkers map, with resignation I sighed an ‘Oh well the young lady’s mind’s elsewhere’ oblivious hunched over her fully unfurled paper drawing. Then looking up, sparkling eyes piercing mine catching me watching her jiggling boobs with hard pointing nipples I felt my cheeks burn, didn’t matter though, she smiled moving closer, a hand reaching out, delicate fingers now warm to touch pulling my arm toward her, pressing my fingers into the table making sure they weren’t going anywhere, her head close to mine tips of her long brown hair touching the golden coloured table.

Her lips slightly parted made juicy from wetness of her tongue, so pretty my heart literally melted, then she spoke! Gosh her tone had changed, she’d suddenly transformed to a seductress, soft sexual overtones, a thought flashing across my mind, ‘wow if I’m not wrong this girl is chatting me up’. A radiant face had transformed Emily into a wilder more alive young woman, nipples so large I could trace the outline of her areola beneath thin cotton fabric keeping me hard.

“Andrew”,  breaking our silence eyes wide open and sparkling, “you’ve been looking at my tits from ever since you climbed aboard this carriage”, totally shocked by her intimate and dirty phrasing, yes dirty is the word what lady says tits to a complete stranger she’s never layed eyes on before?

As she spoke finger tips slowly made their way up my arm, onto my shoulder pulling me towards her again, feeling warm breath into my mouth, panting, her heart rate forcing air out more quickly from deep within her lungs, our foreheads now barely touching, my arm in a grip so tight ensuring I wasn’t to be going anywhere.

Then a sweet floral perfume breezed past my nostrils, “Come on answer” she said with a girly giggle, she didn’t care in the slightest so what we’ve only just met “So Andrew tell me why you’ve never stopped all journey”………..”they’re my best asset don’t you think?” Both of us now staring at two mounds beneath her thin cotton tee shirt.

To be continued….

©Andrew

Erotica. Pretty girl on a train pt1 (age 25!)

Please comment if you’ve had enough.

Original story written by ©Andrew only wish (big sigh) this one was true!

151-rockwell-girl-on-bus

English summer’s traditionally begin mid June and end early October, I should qualify with a usually lasts that long! So more often than not our summer days of decent weather lasts longer than people overseas may imagine, of course we don’t get months of hot searing heat radiating from white hot suns, no there’ll be few of those, but interspersed they’ll be many more wet windy and cold winter’s days, for example, days such as in this little tale. If you were riding this railway carriage with myself, a day’s excursion on the North York Moors, you’ll hear no end of well known British weather sayings, may even be one such as this,

“Winter’s come early”, said the young lady sitting on a cushioned seat near opposite me, her abruptness waking me out of my contemplative day dream, “pardon miss”, I replied with a shocked start!

“Winters’s come early”, she repeated pushing her arms and shoulders forward, fondly smiling, making out she was shivering and I’d guess pressing clenched hands deep into her lap. I say guess because a large wooden table fixed to left side of the carriage obscured my view of her waist down.

Such a strange involuntary reaction shivering, I wonder if it really helps one warm chilled frozen stiff muscles?

The young lady continued smiling at me, and don’t you find the timespan for a smile represents how greatly a lady likes you, what she wishes from you in return? Too short and she’s forcing herself to make small talk, too long and she’s really into you or is that soppy old Andrew reading too much into feminine flirtations again, when a lady starts to talk to me I fall in love. Happens a lot, I go all submissive puppy-like instantly wishing wanting needing her.

I returned a smile this time going one step further looking into her eyes, and now I’m inwardly panicking having been caught off guard, nervously I answered with possibly the lamest most awful reply known to man, wait for it!

“Yes but the weather man on the radio said it’ll brighten up by this afternoon”, when really I wanted to say something very different, my eyes glancing below her chin for a spilt second then lower still, returning upwards re capturing her gaze.

Oh yes what I really wanted to say to this pretty girl, not beautiful as in a makeup model straight from Vogue magazine beautiful, no she was very much the pretty girl next door type, lovely delightful appealing with curly long brunette hair resting atop her shoulders, ah recalling the actual question crossing my mind. me now feeling the very end of my dick tingle and twitch, shaft hardening to the point of feeling slightly uncomfortable inside tight jeans! what I really wanted to say was,

‘honey why are you not wearing a bra?’

I hadn’t caught notice of the ladies face or her bosom till a little way into our journey, the train had stopped at Gothland Station I clambered aboard, crossing a grubby green carpeted aisle, my legs touching brushing past her jeans on the way, making mental note she’s wearing walking boots, then plonking myself down on the seat by the window! I hadn’t given the lady a second glance really.

Well that’s untrue, seated I looked across for the briefest of moments, enough to see her head was bowed, I assume concentration etched across her face reading a map (hold that thought), then getting my act together I layed my belongings out on the table, sighed rather loudly then gazed out the window watching the incredible scenery pass before my eyes, only then after a couple of minutes did I turn my head in the direction of my female traveller, only then did I notice that her walkers rain coat was unzipped open exposing two mounds of a rather large breasts, within tight navy blue tee shirt I might add!

So of course my attention’s magnetically drawn to her rather prominent nipples pointing through the soft stretchy cotton, oh yes I noticed those two alright! Walking boots and an outdoor coat all indicate she was a hiker and here’s the payoff just like me, I’m virtually dressed the same without hard nipples.

The train pulls away and slowly rumbles its way through beautiful rain sodden countryside, flat and dark green only spongy heather for vegetation. Now comfortably settled with rucksack on the seat beside me, heritage train book and packed lunch an arms length away in front on the table, we rocked and rolled through a picture perfect beautiful landscape that attracts people from across the globe, yet on cold wintry summer days such as these, a low grey cloud, a persistent deluge of heavy rain meant we were the only two souls in the carriage.

Though hold on a second! Listening to a hushed chatter from what sounded like a young woman also muffled occasional squeals of laughter from a child we were NOT alone, a voice of slightly higher pitch making the number five pop into my mind. A girl of five years old, I guess a mother and daughter were seated at the very far end on a day out like us two strangers.

Anyways the change in weather meant only we four travelled today in a carriage pulled by this gruff throaty diesel engine, 1960’s, preserved for tourists in seek of nostalgia.

We trundled our way through rural Yorkshire me time to time glancing across our shared light coloured oak table, and looking about the rail car the whole interior was a soft golden hew, where was I? Voyeurism, every sixty seconds or so out of the corner of my eye I’d glance across at her breasts again jiggling side to side up and down, they were large enough to notice and certainly enjoyable to watch, bouncing higher when a carriage jumped two connecting rails, and I’d say round enough to know they’re more than a handful when holding one up, though now positioned a good couple of inches above her tummy, made no secret this I’d guess age 25 pretty young lady had boobs on the bigger side.

I thought to myself she should really be wearing a bra because they’re just that little too heavy not to be supported, in a few years when she reaches thirty they’ll drop, sag to not far above her belly button, but they’ll still look adorable parting a resting position well to sides of her chest still looking sexy as older woman’s boobs do, I nearly said to her ‘you’ll only ever get sexy cleavage again by wearing a Wonderbra’, I didn’t!

Anyways as you’ll have deduced by now my attention is drawn to her boobs rather than spectacular scenery, then totally out of the blue she looks up from the map she’s interestedly following and beams me such a sweet smile and saying,

To be continued…………

©Andrew

Sheltering in a Cemetery out of the rain!

I don’t have a problem church cemeteries, in-fact I quite like them!

Don’t go yet! This isn’t Andrew becoming all morbid and depressing on you, 🙂 nope my blog is a positive happy blog where religion controversy and death are banned! Sex nature and photography yes! I’m here to hopefully be interesting, make you smile or subject you to my silly stories.

Whilst walking into Town early this afternoon the heavens suddenly opened and I became ensnared captured by a torrential rainstorm, now catch 22 if I about turned and went home I’d get soaked, if I carried on I’d get just as wet, so I thought sod it and soldiered on through the rain into Town.

One silver lining to my cloudy story was bumping into my neighbour from around the corner. She’s a lovely lady, a plain Jane but then I’m no Richard Gere, she’d gotten caught in the rain as well but even worse, as a woman who wears bras to small for her bust size, she looked as though she’d just come from a wet tee shirt competition, and by the look at her bosom she’d just won!

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Saint Mary’s church cemetery Witney Town

 

Where was I? Oh yes getting caught in a British summertime rainstorm, so I carried on into Town, purchased a celery and cheese sandwich and orange juice, paid, stepped outside into the rain and the choice was either wander around Town, getting soaked to the skin looking in shop windows or head for the park and sit in the dry somewhere.

I don’t mind church cemeteries, I’m not one of those people who get freaked with the thought of entering one let alone spending time amongst all those headstones. Ancient English cemeteries are known to be havens for wildlife, quiet undisturbed secluded habitats where wildflower species are left to flourish the length and breadth of England and for some reason that escapes me right now, nearly all possess they’re own Yew Tree! (Blood of Christ?)

So getting wet and with time to spare I went into our thirteenth century church cemetery, found a dry conifer tree to sit under for shelter and ate my lunch and you’ll be surprised to read I quite enjoyed the experience, there’s not many places left in busy bustling British Towns that are as quiet and undisturbed such as these peaceful sanctuaries, I don’t want to become too deep but for the first time in a while, devoid of the internet phones tablets and Wi-Fi, I found myself in quite a contemplative frame of mind, spiritual even, which I haven’t experienced for quite, so I sat under a tree in the rain and listened to what Andrew had to say for himself.

Nothing morbid mind, I thought about problems at work, family, money! And cleared my mind, or at least tried to, putting some of my life worries in some sort of order. So much of our personal problems at the end of the day are just not worth worrying about and well without becoming tooo deep and meaningful, three quarter’s of an hours peace and quiet is something I’d wholly recommend.

However not in a dentist’s waiting room, that’s lazy and doesn’t work anyway, I mean go sit in a peaceful cemetery and just let your mind and imagination wander, a little quiet contemplation can be quite refreshing and good for the soul!

©Andrew

Pregnant in maxi-dress and lookin sexy?

c441705897f69c9b98a0aa237e5dee0eA post inspired by a pregnant woman who smiled at me as we passed each other walking along the lane that joins my home to Town. (July 2017)

Also prompted by a News story from America, apparently there was a little controversy (‘noise there’s always noise’ a quote 🙂 ) when a viewer branded anchor woman Laura Warren’s baby bump ‘disgusting’ by voicemail, I know I’m baffled to?

Pregnant in maxi dress 2A question for you. In polite society is a guy allowed to say a pregnant lady can look sexy? Or is thinking let alone admitting a definite no no.

I’m not fishing for compliments here, this question genuinely honestly crosses my mind time to time, say as I’m commuting to work on the bus bored out of my mind.

The celebrity pictured below (who?) is ‘with child’ and in my learned opinion she is quite a few weeks in and not long till giving birth? And well I think she has a very sexy figure however she’s carrying someone inside so am I coming across as a little bit pervy? Don’t mean to!

Blog intermission, bit like those ice cream breaks you used to get at the cinema if you’re old enough to remember!

Quick update to my erotica tale, btw there won’t be another, you just DON’T know how much that post took out of me, I finished part 3 and thought OMFG 9 erotic fantasy writers have liked, Jeez, what if my story’s an ‘anti-climax’? Not to worry my erotic tale went ‘down’ well however I won’t be revealing fact from fantasy……….. 🙂 I’ll leave you to guess.

Intermission over.

Returning to pregnant ladies, as I’ve told you I was walking into Town along the lane that crosses the Common and not far into my housing estate one sunny July morning all of a sudden I see a lady by herself walking toward me wearing a full length black maxi dress, you know the ones, they’re made like a long sock out of stretchy cotton fabric and it NEVER ceases to amaze me a maxi dress clings to every part of a ladies body as if spray painted on!

My guess is it takes a confident woman to wear one because they show every lump bump and curve of her body, the complete outline of her figure. Anyways she’s coming toward me and I’m sorry but I cannot not take my eyes from staring, not at her boobs hips waist through to the mound of her ‘you know what’ which is very clear to see, probably one of the sexiest dresses known to man, however I wasn’t looking at her figure I was kinda staring at her bump!

Honest of me :/

So this tall lady is approaching all on her own wearing a black maxi-dress and she looks astonishing for two reasons. One this is a bloody housing estate and she looks like lost her way to a posh restaurant, and secondly she is 30+ weeks pregnant with the largest most prominent bump I have seen in my whole life, and returning the gaze she must have seen my open mouth with incredulous double take!

I’m not kidding.

Well hold on before you pass judgement, I didn’t try to make her feel uncomfortable but as we approached and passed each other in the lane I wasn’t looking at her face I couldn’t take my eyes off her bump, yes slightly awestruck and I’ll admit to being transfixed, now here’s the conundrum! The maxi dress looked ‘figure hugging’ stunning on her as a woman, she looked drop dead sexy, her figure completely exposed from bust to hips to legs, if she wasn’t pregnant I’d have called her a goddess, however she was with child which in-fact made the dress look even better on her. But I’m so confused can I guy fancy a woman when she’s pregnant? Because she’s pregnant? View pregnancy as sexy? Or am I odd?

Don’t answer the last one, I am odd!!!

Well my story ends moments before we pass in the lane, awoken from my bump hypnotic daze and slightly shocked I remembered the lady had a face, here’s the thing I smiled and she smiled back BUT the exchange was one of those momentary connections you have time to time, our eyes met, neither was embarrassed and she would have seen I was slightly awestruck I’d been looking long enough. We smiled, me off to Town, her off to a dinner party with no date! But there was an intimacy, do you understand? She didn’t mind!

…………..and btw I will admit to turning round, and yes her ass looked just as fabulous in that maxi dress, bum cheeks the lot!

So there you are can pregnancy be sexy or have I completely lost the plot now.

©Andrew

Video featuring my mum’s garden, a bumble bee post will follow.

I’ve just been notified this is Post 100! 

My apologies Hester, the video above is from my tablet and in my opinion the quality’s much better than before (compare to my Blenheim pics) but I FORGOT to speak up, the reason why is my mum’s neighbour was in her garden!

Good morning from sunny England, Now a message to the lovely people who read my Posts 🙂 lol you’ll understand by now, ‘sure as eggs is eggs’ (a saying of ours) you’ll know for certain todays post will NEVER be the same as it’s previous, not by devious design mind, nothing deceitful, I hope you think me a gent it’s just the way I’ve always ‘blogged’.

The video above has been uploaded onto my YouTube, as always, and features a panoramic view of my mother’s rear garden, a typical English suburban housing estate where each house has a small plot of land, some grow vegetables and flowers some seed the soil into lawns for the children to play on.

© Andrew.

Erotica. She let me cum……… (the ending)

Original story written by ©Andrew (Note intended to be read by mums dads adults, I can assure if you’re under age 16 you’ll be BORED witless, I ain’t joking! Go 😀 play a computer game and have more fun instead. Thank you 🙂 )

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Continuation from She let me cum in her mouth pt3 and here’s how my story ends! But first setting the scene, Chantelle and I are naked in her London Flat: 

‘My body sinking into warm duvet and dutifully followed by my mature horny babe her wetness flowing out of her vagina like water drops slipping down glass in a rain storm, and like a reluctant virgin about to be deflowered on her wedding night she lay down beside me.’

Now the final part!

 ……………….a beautiful mature lady……if a little overweight! 

A middle aged tiredness brought us to our senses, we paused breathless our bodies breaking from their embrace, then Chantelle sitting up supporting herself on one elbow, looking through tousled naturel blond hair draped across false eyelashes, quietly says:

“You like kissy kissy don’t you!” whilst wiping lipstick from her mouth with a wet wipe bought to clean penis’s of their pussy juice…………..and before you ask, she was English white and lived in Norfolk………….as for her Flat? Our emailing? Long story 😀

“Andrew sweetie, roll over honey and I’ll massage your back!”, like a puppy dog I dutifully roll over as she draws her right thigh over as if to ride me! (Couldn’t resist that!)

Chantelle is a mature sexy goddess of a woman, very feminine a girly girl type, mind you ALL women are beautiful goddesses to me, so go on force yourself, try to picture a natural blonde sitting just below my ass cheeks her legs straddling my thighs, her knees firmly squeezing my thighs in vice like grip, and joy of joys feeling her soft shaven vagina lips dripping wet pressing into my peachy ass.

If truth be told I think she fancied a rest from kissing cuddling and rolling, now able to sit up upright, feeling the discomfort from nursing a bad back ease (I’ll explain later) and I should say she wasn’t a light woman, not overweight either, but I certainly felt her sitting on top of me, her weight straddling my thighs like a female horse jockey aloft her mustang steed, Chantelle telling fascinating tales of her exciting life, me quietly listening captivated and all the while her fingers kneading massaging my tense shoulders, then she stopped suddenly, my tired muscles released from tender dextrous touch, her still and motionless silence only broken because she must have glanced down at my peachy ass cheeks, then completely out of the blue she says,

“You know Andrew you’ve a fab looking ass for a man your age”

Are you at all curious why Chantelle nursed a bad back, do you know what 😀 , after all I’ve written about visual images burnt into my consciousness and virtual tape machines in my brain recording intimate conversations 😀 I cannot remember why she had a bad back, No idea except she suffered from one, perhaps she didn’t fancy the idea of sexual gymnastics or rolling round that double bed having mad passionate love making, wasn’t for me either, nope seemed we were both content with kissing cuddling massages and chatting, fine by us both.

Laying on soft duvet, legs wide apart she knelt between my open thighs holding my hard cock in her right hand rhythmically rubbing my shaft and foreskin up and down, bringing me to near point of orgasm and skilfully understanding when to stop me ejaculating……. one talented woman was Chantelle she gave a mean hand job! My body squirmed and wriggled under the power of her firm tight grip, me with one arm stretched out, palm of my hand grabbing one natural firm breast all soft and round, once I squeezed so tight a nipple showed between thumb and forefinger and she momentarily lost her rag yelling,

“fucking hell Andrew don’t do that!”

I love the intimacy of a woman wanking me off and in my experience a woman enjoys the sex act just as much as men, please tell me if I’m wrong. I so look forward to the squeal of delight when I shower her breasts with beads of sticky cum, or as Chantelle did now come the time she lowered her head mouth open inches above the tip of my penis, all the while working my hard member with her hand, guiding controlling my soon near climax, my carnal pleasures now heightened because joy of joy I knew what this angel of mercy (nurse lol) was about to do for me now. Crimson lips open hovering above the purple tip of my phallus, me laying on her bed arms stretched out like a crucified Jesus Christ, Chantelle kneeling dutifully waiting between my wide open thighs, then my back arched upward a thrusting spasm ejaculating warm silk milk across her tongue and deep into her throat, pumping until I could cum no more!

Finally my body all spent she pulled her head back releasing my cock from her drooling wet mouth, gazing at me, parted those glossy red lips wide open, poking her tongue out revealing my pool of cum, she tossed her head back gargling my cream in the back of her throat, then swallowed the sticky liquid down in one…. mascara running from her watering eyes choking as my gooey cum coated her windpipe, but she enjoyed it and with love in her eyes she licked her lips beamed a wide girly smile……….and said!

“I only swallow for good boys 😀 now pass me that wine!”

The End.

(I hope you enjoyed my tale, and for those readers who’re wondering “Fact or Fiction?” All I’ll say is my story’s a ‘blend’ of truth and fantasy, 😀 and a few comments I’ll reveal which.)

© Andrew (next one’s features back garden flowers)

Erotica, She let me cum……… pt3

The ending to this true tale is extremely explicit, so if you’d like to read feel free to ask by comment (I will remove) and I’ll give you my password. I trust you understand 🙂

An Original story written by ©Andrew 

(Continued from pt2)

yy99llllll……………..became friends, our email relationship had progressed to a point where one sunny afternoon in July, and not so long ago, I found myself in Chantelle’s London Flat ‘boudoir’ standing naked at the foot of a double bed inside her warm cosy bedroom, more precise I’d undressed totally nude only my hard cock to keep me company, holding it’s shaft in my hand a sort of comfort blanket, gently stroking calmed this horny guy excitedly anticipating heavenly pleasures only this voluptuous blonde could give me,

Oh did I say she was age 40!……………..Then through open door she walks this middle aged blonde goddess, with a big bum tight waste pert high round boobs, all dressed up as a nurse (backpage pic) in white mini-dress, her wide open cleavage as you’ve never seen in your life before.

We said hello, exchanged pleasantries and suddenly feeling quite emotional I moved to face her less than a metre apart, then peeking down her plunging neckline I moved closer still unbuttoning her all the way down, opening the white pinafore then slipping the soft cotton fabric backward over her shoulders, I remember standing transfixed dumb founded unable to move my eyes surveying up and down her pink naked body my brain trying to process this vision of beautiful naked womanhood. Chantelle has the firmest roundest most shapely breasts I’ve squeezed in my entire life, high and round about one handful. Then I place my hands above her hips pulling her body to me one final time, we embrace tightly, our heads along side each others, her baby soft cheeks pressing into my twelve hour stubble, her hushed voice saying,

“So Andrew what shall we do this fine afternoon?”

My heart beat slowed to normal, phew I thought to myself ‘we’re going to be ok, we’re going to have fun’ and completely relaxed I replied,

“Well in your email you said I could cum in your mouth and babe that sounds fine to me”, she giggled winked and said “not so fast honey, I want you inside my mouth but first some kissy kissy” and with that she grabbed great handfuls of my plump buttocks, her head leaning back giggling like the little girl Chantelle really was!

Then I kissed Chantelle, passionately, tongues deep inside the each other’s mouth, wet with saliva entwining dancing all you readers being aware there’s no body part more sensitive than the tongue………..we must have kissed for twenty minutes, you think I make this sh*t up? 😀 Nope, our embrace became tighter, bodies touching ever more intimate, my hands moving from hips to squeezing fat buttock cheeks then back to her hips again, we kiss ever more passionately, devouring, breathless into each other’s mouths, even red lipstick smeared across our lips, I thought her face appeared amusing until I saw my reflection in a mirror later.

I’m a boob man through and through, large or small pert or sagging, means no odds to me as long as I can play with them, suckle on a nipple, drink like a new born babe then I’m happy and satisfied. What does breast milk taste of? I’ve bottle fed my nephew with J’s own milk craving to suck just once but I didn’t!

I longed to touch Chantelle’s breasts, but our bodies were tooo close! “Loosen up girl!!!” I said momentarily pulling away!

We continued to kiss, two naked silhouettes drawn together, her arms wrapped less tightly around my waist pulling holding me against her, her warmth touched every part of the front of my body, such an affectionate embrace of two lovers who’d been here before. Aroused, sexually excited I struggled to slip my hand between our bodies so I could grope her firm breasts, but I’d been a worried man when we first cuddled, I could feel my aroused hardness pushing between her inner thighs, the pressure making the base of my purple bell end tingle, thousands of nerve endings electrified and I thought to myself ‘what if in my excitement I’d entered her, my now horizontal phallus pushed deep in to her wet vagina pressing against her womb, throbbing engorged with blood, hell I may have spontaneously orgasmed sticky cum inside, consensual mind, is involuntary semen exchange rape if she hadn’t expected my phallic explosion! But not to worry I missed her pink gash, I don’t much like fucking anyway but all’s well 🙂 my engorged phallus slipped between Chantelle’s warm squeezed thighs, briefly stroking wet labia lips, mind you hers did flap about a bit, we kissed and kissed and deep French kissed some more, many a minute passed before we spoke again.

I guess with tired lips and aching jaws we must have mutually sensed it time to stop the wonderful French, so backing away I moved on to her bed, body sinking into warm duvet and dutifully followed by my mature horny babe her wetness flowing out of her vagina like water drops slipping down glass in a rain storm, and like a reluctant virgin about to be deflowered on her wedding night she lay down beside me. We embraced affectionately then as tight as before, gently rolling over each other for what will be one of the more fantastic afternoons of my life, as for her? She always said she had fun but this time she wanted something different. 

So lovely readers 😀 we leave our two lovers for the moment, embraced facing each other kissing on the lips, all very tender and motionless.

:/

For months previous to first meeting we chatted time to time via email, Snapchat FB Twitter and Skype aren’t for me, aren’t for us, todays young internet generation can’t comprehend how two people can ‘play’ without help of social media and tell me where’s the harm daily writing to each other as our forbears would have? Do children today understand that written exchanges between lovers go as far back as Jane Austin times?

Who?

Love letters sent between lovers possessing intriguing codes secrets and hidden messages keeping each other guessing even after the letter is returned to it’s envelope, I enjoy email, it f*cking stresses me out mind, many a time I’ll press send then panic with questions of, ‘did I express myself as I intended? Oh God have I offended her? Worse still upset?’ Not to worry, more often than not my replies made her smile even laugh sometimes. Long ago I came to a decision not to on-line date, women have told me the horror stories, explained how scams work, perhaps I’m a cynic, for one thing is sure I know there are lots of lonely ladies out there, perhaps I should give it a try, honesty is one aspect of WordPress that is plain to see, the blogger you are reading is bearing her soul, truthful and trusting, me also because not a single word is a lie………………come to think of it perhaps on my old blog I did say I’d done anal, that must have been some weird dream because I haven’t been there…………..yet, enough and I’m SORRY!!!!!

Returning to naked me and Chantelle our bodies near joined as one tenderly rolling atop her double bed, me luckiest man alive hugging a beautiful mature lady……if a little overweight!

To be continued in my fourth and final part

©Andrew ❤

Erotica. She let me cum……… pt2

Original story written by ©Andrew

(continue from pt1)

feb2016 (1) …………………. this romantic tale comes in four parts, hope you read part 1, btw the naughty part begins in part three but how I came to meet Chantelle is important to my story.

So no sex yet!

Keep patient hopefully you’ll find it pretty hot stuff!

………..this romantic tale took place (perhaps it’s fiction 😉 ) after I’d deleted my first blog and for twelve months I’ve purposely shied away from writing about my sex life, number one because no one is interested, number two I find reading sex blogs tedious tho I love reading erotic poetry, but sex blogs lack soul to the point I haven’t Followed one in over a year and number three I haven’t layed a woman in ages! True that.

And I’m NOT showing off! 

So now you understand why I’ve refrained from tales of sex on this blog, apart from Helen’s striptease of course, but I didn’t masturbate while watching her breast examination so that doesn’t really count! I’ve banned myself from talking sex but for one time only I’m going to re tell a true story……. 😉 then again this may be fiction 😉 …… did you know there are awards for badly written erotic fiction………..I could Google it but can’t be assed b’cause it’s late!

Okay LOL I’ll attempt a dirty story………………. Setting the scene, one sunny afternoon several month’s ago I found myself inside a Flat in Canning Town………… that’s London to you………more precisely in a bedroom waiting for a mature woman, just how I like em!

:/ Ok ‘I found myself in a Flat’ isn’t a great beginning, let me start again by saying Chantelle and I had emailed too and fro for many weeks before first meeting, not a dating site mind let’s just say dating isn’t entirely the point to the particular chatroom we frequent, wouldn’t you LOVE me to reveal it’s name, afraid not! Ok why not there’s this website called ‘backpage’ where you place an advertisement when want an item, let’s say for example a wardrobe no let’s say sex instead and you’ve guessed internet users looking for sex go to ‘backpage’ to find the look of someone they like, there’s a message board for corresponding, telephone numbers are exchanged and then if the guy likes the look of the woman and the woman likes the look of the guy AND they both believe and trust each other they meet up! Easy as NO it’s a frigging minefield of scammers liars raving nutcases, but if you trust your sixth sense, implicitly, use common sense ‘backpage’ can be fun BUT lol you won’t ever find your soul partner and live happily ever after! 😦

NO MONEY CHANGES HANDS!!!!

Do I need to explain anymore or have you fathomed how ‘backpage’ works? Put it this way you’re not buying a wardrobe in the furniture section!

God I could explain the point to ‘backpage’ and how it works ALL evening, lol let’s cut to the chase, one evening many months ago whilst scrolling through ladies pictures I happened across a forty year old divorcee called Chantelle, I clicked her thumbs up then she looks at my profile and clicks my thumbs up and then both being signed up members, how ‘backpage’ makes money, we both view each other’s profile pages normally hidden from view and importantly each other’s ‘photographs’ and when I say photographs I actually mean filthy near pornographic nude selfies, all tasteful and legal mind, well ours were on the whole tasteful, so we chatted on the message board, became friends then one sunny afternoon in July………

5
Andrew

Sample taken from my profile page!

To be continued in part 3 then part 4.

Andrew 🙂

 

Erotica. She let me cum……… pt1

Original story written by ©Andrew

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……………then again perhaps I didn’t cum in her mouth and this is a fictional tale.
 
I remember sexy times with ladies as vivid images burnt across my mind, I remember conservations as if my brain possessed an old style tape recording machine, mental powers alone able to press a virtual reality play button whilst sitting on a commuting bus, gazing out the window daydreaming and bored………..Jeez there’s so many unforgettable conversations to replay then again some deeply regrettable, perhaps this is a privilege only bestowed upon persons using public transport? I really mean that, an opportunity tailor made for talented bloggers unlike me. (Ahh, but true!)

Yes you did read that right, public transport! It’s a question of time my lovelies solitary boredom feeds a wandering mind! Good that. 

Sometimes I glance around people sitting on the top deck going to work, all doing very little, a few talking in hushed tones and not many read or listen to music which might surprise you, perhaps the jolting swaying down country lanes puts people off I know it does me. Most are silent deep in thought gazing out the windows, and I’ll find myself sitting there watching faces so curious, wondering what conversations and life stories they are playing back on their virtual tape machines? Arguments, happy times, last night’s telly or daydreaming sexual encounters they’ve had or wished they’d had, that pretty Sunday School teacher, a large bust so out of proportion for her slender figure, morning worship and I’d sit in the pew behind staring at the back of her bra, fantasies of what wonders the lingerie held up.

How many of you have the opportunity to sit alone each day, calm quiet with only your thoughts for company and if you’re really unlucky, two hours each day. Squandered precious time, Yes of course it is!

The deck of a bus holds forty adults all sexes and ages trapped constrained by passengers sitting next to them, all with important places to go, yes I’d agree if you said self inflicted solitude is dull and boring, if that’s what you’re thinking, but I’m here to tell you commuting to work by bus or train is one of life’s opportunities to let your imagination run riot, here comes the naughty bit.

No word of a lie many a time I’ve been travelling to work on a bus with an attractive young lady sitting next to me, I ain’t no perv mind but if you said voyeur, I am. I have been known to surreptitiously keep half an eye on her legs if she’s wearing a dress or skirt, you see when a lady sits you’ll know her skirt hem slips towards her hips, gliding across smooth black nylon tights revealing her shapely thighs squeezed tightly together, pussy lips closed tightly shut, her hem line resting distance dependent on the skirt’s length to begin with. Inconsequentials such as skirt length can make or break a bachelors day, if the lady works for a bank I’ll see her knees and little else, if she’s a College student (age 16+) chances are her skirt hem stops inches below her soft cotton gusset, knickers filled with forbidden fruit tasting moist and sweet on a guys tongue………………well pussy’s always taste sweet to me!

Where was I? Commuting to work by bus! Hmm before becoming side tracked by thoughts of female legs I hope I’ve explained that far from being boring quiet solitude, the rhythmic side to side rocking of a bus allows one’s imagination to race with perhaps dreams of conquests past……………………or then again what to cook for the children’s tea tonight………. you pays your money you takes your choice……….. and those of you who blog, maybe you’re a little envious? Nah Andrew don’t be silly, the gift of time is ticking away.

Returning to me seated next to a young lady, when opportunity permits gazing at her smooth thighs (student not banker), and bare in mind commuting etiquette necessitates let’s call rule number one, that two human bodies never knowingly touch other, not even the slightest of contact’s……. do and you’ll get an evil glare, slip a hand between her thighs and you’ll get five years inside! ……..I’ll reach the end of this bloody ‘hosiery’ tale if it takes all evening!!!! Time to time I’ll peek at her black tighted thighs, highly erotic and turning me on but not exciting enough to give me a full hard on, the young lady quite oblivious unless she herself looks down aware blood is engorging my groin causing a hump in my jean crotch.

Little does she know, her oh so sexy legs recall memories of pleasant afternoon’s spent in bed with females of my own, my now perfumed neighbour overpowering my consciousness. I wait in eager anticipation when a bus stops hoping for a pretty lady to sit next to me, clutching her handbag drawn into her tummy and if I rest my elbow on the window seal, support the weight of my head via hand and forearm, I can twist my torso slightly and watch her out the corner of my eye without her noticing, I hope, and when the bus rides a bump I see her heavy bust bounce or jiggle if she’s little tits, really lucky if her collars open I may even see the hint of a bra cup, that quickens my breath and makes my heart beat a little faster, a vapour of cheap perfume wafting my nostrils, bras boobs black tighted thighs give rise to a harder phallus…………even came in my boxers once, wonder if she noticed………so ladies if you’re sitting on a train next to a guy don’t assume he’s contemplating the weather! 😉

Got there in the end! Am I a naughty boy? :/ Or am I worse?

I could write a book of tape recorded stories in my brain, oh I already have, they’re all on my first blog LONG ago deleted………….and why is a long story! But in hindsight I’m pleased I kept no copies, so beware all you poets, story tellers and bloggers, keep copies, back up your files! 

The heavenly tale I’m soon to tell, remember you still have an opportunity to run, all……..

To be continued, and I ain’t deleting this time! 1000 words done 2000 to go.

© Andrew ❤

Walking in the rain!

I have both good news 🙂 and bad news 😦 for you.

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Good news first, for the past two years I’ve been uploading videos onto my YouTube all filmed by my cheap and cheerful digital camera, however you’ll agree the picture quality is pretty poor. THEN yesterday evening it suddenly dawned on me I have a Samsung tablet with a great camera, taken me 8 months to figure that one out ffs. 

Now the bad news, the weather across Great Britain is awful, by that I mean it’s rained constantly for two days, dry ditches are now running streams for heavens sake, yay I have a great quality video camera however if I go outside to film Oxfordshire’s fantastic Countryside I get absolutely soaked!

But like the trooper I am, I braved the rain just for my WordPress (absolutely true) filming the video below and my narration pretty much explains all, listen to the rain………

It’s only uploaded to test the camera’s picture quality so perhaps don’t watch. Bit boring.

Listen to that rain! I only wish I’d remembered I owned this Samsung when I visited beautiful Blenheim Palace………….. oh well we men aren’t the sharpest tools in the box!

If you have any British friends you’ll know we don’t half moan about the weather, it’s either too hot and sunny, or too wet and cold, mind you talking about our weather is a great ice breaker when you first converse with someone you don’t know.

Consequently due to the rain this isn’t the post I hoped to publish, I had planned to visit a local Abbey and walk the Cotswolds, unfortunately due to the fact Holly and I were soaked to the skin we settled for a short walk closer to home………… 🙂 Holly didn’t appear to mind!

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Not to worry, better luck next time! 

© Andrew

 

Breastfeeding on a train and I’m quite frankly disgusted!

Ahh 😀 I bet that Title caught your attention………..perhaps you’re curious “What’s gone and upset Andrew this evening?” ……and yes I agree my previous post was a little self indulgent but a little introspection is fine in small doses, re reading two months from now might be interesting?

I do enjoy these posts where I just write honestly and freely!

If you’ve read my naughtier posts and think I’m sexist read on, if not skip to the photograph below.

(The following morning on the 21st, I edited replaced the word misogynist with sexist, WOW I never realised misogynist is defined ‘A hater of women’, God, I don’t think any reader thinks I hate women…………. hmm 😀 sexist? You decide)

………..very occasionally I’ll contemplate the themes and content of my previous 92 posts, I did that the other day and re revisited one or two of my saucy posts and it dawned on me my language towards women could be seen as sexist, I’m not, I enjoy the company of women and I have utmost respect for the fair sex, but you have to realise since age 16 I’ve worked in male dominated environments and rightly or wrongly a blog allows us the freedom to write how we wish, within reason, or what’s the flipping point? ………… In truth I’m like all men, I’m a naughty boy at heart and writing ‘explicit’ posts makes me smile nothing more……… and anyways one overseas lady follower says 😀 she skips my naughtier posts which is fine………….a shame really b’cause they’re such fun to write.)

Returning to my frankly bizarre inflammatory Title, let me make clear I’m fine with a woman feeding her baby breast milk so as to keep the infant alive and grow up healthy.

Now look at this viral photograph circulating on Twitter the News and all other social media…………the lady is Bryony Esther and she’s feeding daughter Saffron 🙂

Breastfeeding

I truly wish I’d been a seated passenger on that train travelling through the South of England because this  is a truly sad photograph, if I was one of those guys with blurred out faces I would have given up my seat and insisted the young lady sat down to feed her baby, but no this story is World News because none of those men did and worse still the owner of the bike is sat in a priority seat for disable, pensioner or anyone else in need……………….. fucking selfish bastard!!

In her words “Despite ‘hovering’ near the priority seating area no-one offered to move and instead began sniggering”.

On all levels this is such a sad photograph, a young lady with upset in her eyes and many selfish grown men lacking all humanity and common decency and I hope their mums sisters girlfriends and wives get to see this selfie ‘snapped’ by Bryony herself!

I’m certainly no angel and I’m not looking for plaudits or praise, but do you ever find yourself reading a story watching a News item and thinking ‘I wish I’d been there’ so I could do the right thing’………….such a sad photo! Why are people such assholes?

As for breastfeeding in public, don’t get me started, I’ve been there when my sister-in-law has breast fed one of her three sons in public, what’s the big deal? Why do people complain? I while ago I was walking towards the centre of Oxford and passed by a lady seated at a pavement table outside a restaurant, and as I walked by I remember thinking to myself how beautiful is that, what is more natural than a woman feeding her baby.

© Andrew

 

 

Sunday Roast with Mum. St. Peter and his blessed gates!

A work colleague and very good friend once said to me “Andrew the trouble with you is you think tooo much”, and do you know what, the more I learn and the longer I live I’m convinced overthinking is part of a human being’s DNA, you cannot change the way you are genetically programmed can you. A thought crossed my mind the other day, I do hope readers don’t think my posts are taken from my old blog or worse still penned years ago! Nope, every clumsily written Post is idly dreamt up at work and drafted a day or so before publishing. I’ve been thinking of stopping for a while, don’t get me wrong I adore WordPress and I WILL MOST definitely continue reading the bloggers I follow because I enjoy them tooo much, the only downside is their talented use of language and composition shows up my inadequacies as a writer or perhaps it’s a lack of ideas? You see my life is empty and uncomplicated when I should strive and strive again to fill it with joy, I can’t help thinking my inability to meet a female, become friends, marry or partner up will haunt me till my dying day………… but that’s ok, that’s life I guess, I have a LOT to be thankful for but I get this awful dreaded premonition over thinking may have screwed my whole life up! Come the fateful day when I reach those pearly gates and St. Peter says “So Andrew what have you done with your life my friend?”  I’ll answer “Not a lot Peter, you see I squandered it, I wasted that most precious of gifts time itself” and yes St. Peter will be angry, I’m sure it’ll be anger and not pity such a disgusting trait feeling sorry for oneself. Yep I fucked up big time and I never did get to have sexual intercourse in a car, that’s a big regret, love making in a car may not seem that important to you but it’s a major rights of passage between apprentice engineers electricians and practical young men, God the stories and b*llsh*t I’ve had to listen to lunch break after lunch break, lurid tales lavished by thirty of the greatest seventeen year old lads you could ever hope to meet, amazing disclosures explaining the complexities of getting a girls knickers off in the back seat of his first car, let alone the mountain that is giving the young lady a right good seeing to, surely position cowgirl in a mini metro is a physical impossibility? Or maybe a BJ is nearer the truth 😀 some of life’s more memorable stories are born of comradery. I’ve slept with quite a few women in my life, fourteen to be exact (is that above average?), but casual internet relationships and the like don’t count do they, (perhaps I’ve been far tooo honest here this past two years, distasteful even, disgusted readers). Where was I, yes true love is finding a good woman, however there’s another popular definition of love favoured by many bloggers, namely ‘soul mates’, turns out finding your soul mate is love’s Holy Grail, no? Perhaps you’ve been reading the wrong blogs then, but seriously finding one’s soul mate happens 🙂 ………… where was I? Yes that flipping St. Peter……….perhaps come my fateful judgement day, it’ll finally dawn on me I should have spent my life believing in a God instead of being so dismissive of religion and spirituality, would a belief in a higher being, a supreme creator have cured me of my apathy, regrets and thoughts of missed opportunities, squandering gifts God given, not taking risks may have cost me dear? In my defence the odd lucky break would have been appreciated, I’ve never fully come to terms or coped well living with my drug resistant epilepsy this past twenty five years, not withstanding ‘the however many years that still remain’, that’s the real killer……………………….. :/ trouble is I don’t believe in a God, hmm this is a very self indulgent post but hey my blog and all that. For what it’s worth I’m convinced the real point to life is wait for it! The meaning of life ‘is to love and be loved’, simple as, without love living is meaningless and yes pointless, you may just as well be dead because your soul will be. My brother has a wife with children, I try not to envy him but increasingly I kinda do 🙂 they’re such fabulous witty fun loving boys, the family all love each other and I’d bet M. and J. (parents) don’t wake up on a morning and throw the towel in, they can’t can they! There’s mouths to feed, clothes to pay for and they’re both blessed with love and fun that comes with having children.

Best stop there 🙂

So 😀 after making clear my posts are original and new, today’s short tale is taken from Sunday last and I’d agree it’s not the most riveting of reads lol, however it’s honest to the core….and brief 🙂

The dinner plate of delicious looking food below is often referred to as Britain’s traditional English Sunday roast dinner, and that particular one in the photograph was captured at my mother’s last Sunday lunch time, but please note the choice of meat can vary, perhaps pork chicken or my absolute favourite lamb with mint sauce! Wow what a combination!!!

So there you are, my dinner consisted of roast beef, roast potatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, runner beans (growing in her garden fifteen minutes earlier) and two Yorkshire puddings and not for getting gravy made from the meat juices…………yum yum.

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…………… the photo below taken by me show’s mum stirring the gravy…………

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Mum making the gravy and Holly

…………and the photo below shows me washing up after we’ve eaten!

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Holly the Collie and me washing up afterwards

So a question for you, 🙂 who gets the better deal, me having a Sunday roast made for me by mum? Or mum taking her dog for a long walk down by the river, through the meadows or circling the reservoir nature reserve? Personally I think I get the better deal, mum probably thinks she does because she’s a little arthritis and Holly has boundless energy, mind you two hours exercising in the rain is heavenly fun (hmm inadvertently back to Peter)………….AND don’t forget I do the washing up! 😀

I can cook for myself, everyone should be able to feed themselves in a civilised society, however I find preparing a meal hassle after a days work, anyways I’ll finish this post on an up note, popping over to mum’s for Sunday roast is richly anticipated and sincerely appreciated once eaten!

© Andrew

Hot and steamy London (June 2017)

(18/07/2017 – I first published my June sightseeing trip to London tale several days ago, however I linked an EXTREMELY tacky YouTube video to accompany that post, call it one of those ‘seemed a good idea at the time’ ideas but in hindsight ‘that’ video  and intro was neither tasteful amusing or in the slightest bit relevant to my tale, not to worry I can put that right…….!)

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London girls in sunny June

Britain has recently experienced it’s hottest June for 40 years, and bang in the middle of a record hot week I took the coach to Central London hoping to do a little sightseeing of my own, I hadn’t visited for several years anyways the day turned out to be a 36 degree body sweltering furnace and the sightseeing was gorgeous………..don’t get me wrong mind we’ve been waiting…. always waiting for sunny days like these.

Blue skies accompany a burning hot sun (I had to buy suntan lotion for the first time in years), searing heat like I’ve never experienced rising up from pavement stone and if you’ve read my Blog before you may have guessed this post could well be one of my sexy stories, all good fun and you’d be right! So without further ado I’ll let you into a little secret, when temperatures rise in the United Kingdom so the English public change into their summer dress ESPECIALLY the ladies, actually if mind serves me right it’s written into legislation!!!

The reason why is simple to explain, there’s both the novelty summer’s finally arrived and we know for sure it won’t last long consequently British women throw all modesty and caution to the wind, you’ve heard the phrase stir-crazy well I’ve coined days like these as sun-crazy, dress hems get shorter, bras are discarded, tee shirts tighter and bustier and for a brief couple of days a year I don’t recognise the Country I’m living in. ❤

Lol you want an example? ………..Ok if I’m pushed, there I am waiting to buy a ticket at London Embankment Underground station, packed with commuters jostling for escalators important places to go and as you do I join a queue of people waiting to buy a train ticket, then my eyes clock a young lady with long blonde hair wearing a dairy cream coloured skirt white crotchet top and no bra!……………, Hmm all very observant of you Andrew! :/

So I’m watching this attractive young lady purchasing her Oyster Card ticket, arm raised above her head pressing coins down a slot and what do I see below her armpit? A gaping looping hole in her top that’s what I see! A wardrobe malfunction revealing her perky pink boob with nipple, common I couldn’t make this sh*t up and even MORE bizarre standing behind her is a policeman wearing a Kevlar chest guard wielding his machine gun.

Then I followed her NO!!!! …………. Bless her, she’s only young once and looked fabulous!

Now jump forward two hours and I’m wandering through Hyde Park making my way towards Buckingham Palace and my ‘attention’s’ drawn to a group of young women sunbathing in bikinis, Central London for heavens sake! 😀 , later still I buy a refreshing ice lolly (£2.75 ffs) and three young women hip sway past me wearing the tightest of tops no bras and nipples like Scammell wheel nuts, there are micro-skirts hot-pants crop-tops and bare legs as far as the eye can see…………………..a great day to be alive perhaps not so great for Andrew’s blood pressure :/

……then guess what two days later heavy black clouds roll in, temperatures drop by 15 degrees and we return to conservatively dressed British normality as if nothing ever happened. Funny old World!

© Andrew

 

 

 

 

Throwing a ball with Holly the collie Sunday.

I’m annoyed, thoroughly brassed off and extremely tired, I have just spent the last hour writing a family themed Post which after pressing preview disappeared from view, consequently all my hard work is gone lost forever!

So tonight in place of my ‘long lost masterpiece’, here’s a video I filmed Sunday afternoon and for those of you who haven’t read earlier Posts Holly is the family collie 🙂 

I’ve shared pet photos time to time on Blog Andrew, I ‘snapped’ the one below whilst staying over at my brother’s Christmas 2016……….ok that’s seven months ago but what the heck who doesn’t like doggy photos?………….And by the look of all that torn paper I think she’s just finished opening someone else’s present!!!

Holly Xmas

Incidentally you may remember Holly is a rescue dog who’d spent the early years of her life kept inside a cage, which resided in the kitchen of a Flat with NO GARDEN, frigging disgusting don’t you think? To cut a long story short she had a few problems when my mum rescued her, such as toilet training etc, BUT my mum put her straight and now she’s one of the family, the perfect pet friend……..perhaps don’t purchase a collie unless you have the time and patience to train, that’s very arrogant of me to suggest but they are highly intelligent dogs and require a lot of mental stimulation! But she’s fine now. 🙂 

Sorry the photograph from last Christmas, the video was filmed yesterday.

© Andrew

I have absolutely no idea why women wear bras?

Disclaimer. 🙂 These are the private musings of a middle aged Englishman, me Andrew, also note this Post contains NO nudity, call it my final ‘Just For Fun’ Post. (Maybe 😀 ) and please remember I have a good heart and mean no disrespect.

Two reasons for writing this evening, my Followers already understand I’m slightly obsessed with boobs well least I’m honest! Jo knows I’m currently single at present and I miss squeezing a breast :D, the second reason is I enjoy Cosmic Colette’s YouTube stream and she was kind enough reply to my Comment, even laughed, truth be known hardly any YouTuber’s reply to video comments, why? Btw I have asked permission and she is fine with my Post.

Colette’s YouTube (link left) is themed fun entertainment travelling veganism body image bullying relationships mental health and much much more 🙂

My YouTube is andschannll

I thought I’d write something a little more light hearted today after my rather sombre and serious previous 10 Downing Street posts, truth be known politics is a dirty business and I’m glad not to be a part of it…………………… then again ‘big sigh’ we are all intrinsic to politics 😦

Enough politics!

Breasts and bras!

I’ve had the question ‘Why do women wear bras’ playing on my mind this past few days, such a weird contraption dreamt up by a bridge engineer (a man) in ‘ye olde’ Victorian England, so the story goes, mind you the design resembles a suspension bridge, seems logical or maybe “fake news?”

A woman I uhmm used to be ‘friends’ with likened wearing a bra similar to ‘unprintable’, the soreness from underwire’s were truly horrendous, she was one of those girls who’d unclip her bra, give a huge sigh of relief and say “thank God that’s off! Now I can breath!” 

I don’t think the video maker Cosmic Colette would mind me sharing her YouTube video, hell I might even tell her I’m sharing her “I haven’t worn a bra in one year!” video because I enjoyed watching and seeing as I’ve commented below her videos before……

So what did you think to her video? She’s lovely (attached 😦 ) and I’ll be honest and agree I can’t understand why women wear bras, they look SO much better without one, in fact Colette’s views and opinions seem pretty compelling reasons why not to wear one!

……. and if you’re saying to yourself ‘so tell me Andrew why an earth are you so interested in bras all of a sudden?’, well think back to my post Helen’s Striptease, the moment where my middle aged neighbour Helen unclipped her bra, well the seed of a post was born there and then……….. plus I’ve gotten nothing better to do this afternoon and boobs are fabulous!

Incidentally I don’t wish to offend anyone and because I’m a perfect gentleman I’m attempting to be both serious and sensitive at the same time and certainly don’t wish to come across as condescending, call this hopefully fun and amusing.

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After watching the fascinating video where the lady gives her personal reasons for going braless I decided to do a little research of my own (science fan me) and where do you go if you want to find out a fact or two? Why the internet of course, dig deep enough and it’s surprising what you might learn!!

I Googled ‘reasons not to wear a bra’ this evening and happened across research conducted at a French University, turns out a sports Doctor named Jean-Denis Rouillon spent fifteen years studying the effect bras had on 330 women aged 18-35 then came to the earth shattering conclusion bras are useless!! A bold statement if ever there was one and as you can imagine he created one hell of a worldwide Sh**storm media frenzy!

Fifteen years is a long time to research bras and their effects on boobs, a study which concentrated on understanding ladies yearly breast changes when a bra is worn regularly against never worn and his preliminary results suggested, contrary to popular belief, when a young girl wears a bra from an early age, the bra doesn’t support the chest or reduce back pain or prevent breast sagging, in-fact ‘medically, physiologically and anatomically’ breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity………… the Professor went on to say when interviewed by French media “supported breasts get saggier over time”.

Here’s a useless piece of information for you, many years ago a lady by the name of Rachel (blonde attractive and age 25) and myself were undressing in her bedroom, a casual relationship, well without being indiscreet she was a ‘big girl’ and there we were sitting on her bed together and cometh the time she reaches around her back unclipping the strap of a rather large bra holding rather large boobs, and at the same moment her underwear garment was removed her boobs dropped ‘a mile’, that was a shock and a half I can tell you…. but don’t worry I’m NOT being disrespectful or abusive, both Rachel and her boobs looked absolutely stunning, so very feminine and sucking saggy empty boobs is wonderful……. just thought you’d be interested to know!

Where was I?goddess-keira-banded-satin-underwire-bra-gd6090-fawn

Bra research!

Returning to that French sports Doctor. According to his research, young women’s breasts were firmer, ligaments stronger, more toned due to extra breast tissue all because they never wore bras, and better news was to come, women who did NOT wear a bra experienced a 7 millimetre (that’s 0.3-inch) lift in their nipples compared with the women who wore bras……… pretty compelling research and now you’re wondering as to the reasons why?

Well according to the Doctor, he claimed bras have a way of slowing down blood circulation, which therefore reduced breast tone over time so the reasons are as simple as that! Some time after a British Doctor confirmed the research stating:

“For younger women, not wearing a bra will lead to increased collagen production and elasticity, which improves lift in a developing breast.” 

Hmm, I’m wondering whether the more mature woman, who’d worn a bra all her life, could suddenly burn her bra and get away with it? Then again do having children rubbish all his data?

One note of caution, the research team did add an important caveat stating women in the French study were not a representative of the population as a whole, which seems right and fair, mind you interesting research all the same!

:/ perhaps the more mature woman should keep her bra on!

To add further weight to the no bra argument if you write why I went braless’ into YouTube’s search engine Google will ‘so I’m told’ display hundreds of videos made by hundreds of women sharing their no bra life stories similar to Collette’s…………. what was life like before YouTube?

So ladies if you’re brave enough comment as to why you wear a bra? Support? Modesty? Attracting men or women or teenage (16+) girls or boys.

f8c2614daf8403330fd8c260952a3837Referring to the photo opposite, in my humble opinion going braless can be classy tasteful and yes elegant. I live in the University City of Oxford, a City of ‘year on year’ eternal youth, and every day I’ll see female ladies and students go braless :/ fine by me. However I guess for any of you ladies with exposure on the mind  I’d agree with you braless, for obvious reasons, does attract a little more attention, but having said that if more women threw their bras in the bin then both men and women from my parent’s generation might say “what’s all the fuss about?”

So you are maybe asking “what conclusions have you drawn Andrew?” 🙂 None at all except ladies be yourselves, if you like to wear bras ‘wear’, if you prefer not to wear bras ‘don’t’, it’s all good to me………….. but I prefer the ‘don’t wear’ simply because a lady’s natural profile is more feminine flattering and beautiful.

Please comment? Hmm should I stop these ‘amusing’ types of posts and please remember I have a good heart and mean no disrespect 🙂

© Andrew

10 Downing Street a personal view (pt2)

I Follow an American blogger (a poetess who incidentally doesn’t follow me 🙂 ) and she wouldn’t mind me saying I loved reading her most recent post, briefly the lady shared photographs of her family’s recent vacation to London, after all the terror news it’s great to hear tourists have enjoyed our great Capital City, lightened my heart 🙂

Continued from part one………. Click Here 🙂

 

I have a certain amount of respect for Richard Nixon, yes you did read that correctly, although I enjoy reading and discussing politics as a general rule I’m extremely careful when commenting on another Countries governance for the simple reason both a naivety and ill informed opinion could get me into a lot of hot water, especially if I’m patently wrong, however I will discuss political issues with people I respect and trust…….. such as a lady named K. from America.

😀 perhaps Nixon’s photograph alongside mine affects my judgement!.

And yes for fear of repeating myself I did say I have a certain amount of respect for Nixon, yes he was a flawed paranoid man and I wouldn’t buy a used car from him but I’ve seen the superb Anthony Hopkins movie, I’ve read ‘All The Presidents Men’ several times, the Hoffman Redford movie twenty times and watched the spine tingling Nixon Frost interviews notably the “I wish to apologise to the American people!!” But you do have to give him credit for his brave China visit, a triumph of friendship and diplomacy, a message to Donald Trump politics is the art of the possible!!!………….and perhaps the success of Nixon’s visit to China is the overriding reason both superpowers have coexisted peacefully for nigh on forty years?

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Donald, Trump and our Queen riding down the Mall together?

……. and further still I don’t remember Nixon being labelled a misogynist racist pig two appalling and disgusting character traits Trump seems to unforgivably possess when tweeting, so when he visits Britain this autumn, sits alongside the Queen in her golden carriage riding down the Mall, you can forget all talk of trade deals he just wants to parade with our Monarch and I hope he enjoys himself. (Hint of sarcasm there!)

However I’m worried he won’t be accepted with the same warm reception every other US President has received……………… I fear riots, bombings and political unrest as we’ve NEVER witnessed before…….. already the Mayor of London Sadiq Khan has publically stated he won’t shake Trump’s hand, he will he’s a politician!…….. Hopefully the visit ends peacefully.

Time to continue with my Downing Street post before I have you unfollowing in droves, I’d like to suggest the photograph of Mark above remains relevant to a Britain of present day, WE two are more than just boys standing either side of a ‘bobby’ Policeman outside 10 Downing Street, the very heart of Political power, for that brief moment in time Mark and myself have a direct physical connection with the very centre of British Democracy ………the fact we are no longer permitted to walk up Downing Street is in my opinion a freedom lost, one example of how my Country has changed for the worse.

Police holding weapons is an unnerving sight in the UK and to be truthful I’m not totally comfortable with guns in open view, but times have changed so I’ll have to get used to it. If you look to the far right beyond the black and yellow striped ramp you can just about make out Prime Minister Theresa May’s official residence and the Chancellor of the Exchequers next door at No 11.

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2017 and this’ll be the closest I’d get to number 10, we walked up there!

You’ll understand after recent horrific atrocities London is now in a state of security lockdown, walking the City’s streets are a little more worrying, my discoloured childhood photograph is one small example of how Islamic terror has changed the way we British live our lives, no longer permitted to visit important places now deemed a security risk. But people adapt to troubled times, we’ll be OK, sixty years ago German bombs were raining down upon London and we survived, Democracy stood up to Nazism and won.

Each one of us understands that at any given time, God forbid a guy could drive a white van along Westminster Bridge and mount a curb into members of the public, just imagine the propaganda coup ‘IS’ would claim if a suicide bomber detonated himself outside Number 10 Downing Street, that’s why the entrance below resembles a war time fortress, gates and machine guns confront you but Wednesday last as I walked through HorseGuards along Whitehall turning into Parliament Square I witnessed peaceful demonstrations, a comforting sign Britain’s Democracy is alive and well.

Here’s a ‘Free Society’ question for you, is President Trump visiting London a great idea? Or should democracy prevail and grant Trump a State visit, he’s Tweeted he wants to ride down the Mall sitting next to the Queen in her gold carriage!

We took Obama to our hearts but Trump? Riots? Bombings? F*ck!!!! ……. being as this is my blog Post perhaps I should answer the question should President Trump visit Britain later this year? I’ve given this question a great deal of thought and I’m saddened to say perhaps put off the visit for a while, ……… my apologies America.

😦

© Andrew

Gorillaz – We Got The Power

It’s been quite a while since I last posted a favourite music post, well here’s ‘Gorillaz’ playing ‘We Got The Power’ live on ‘The Graham Norton Show’…………the best chat show on the planet bar none!

I’m an engineer by trade, a toolmaker who used to work in a foundry as an apprentice, well ‘We Got The Power’ features a large bell cast at the Whitechapel bronze foundry, alas the factory is no more having been closed a few years and incidentally they cast the United States Liberty Bell.

Two reasons for sharing, I love the song, I’m singing it to myself all day long and I think Jehnny Beth from post punk band ‘The Savages’ is gorgeous…………..such a sexy woman and fabulous singer ❤ . Enjoy

I don’t think I need to explain who Damon Alban and virtual band Gorillaz are and that this track is from their new album……. you already know that 🙂

(“We Got the Power” is a song by alternative rock virtual band Gorillaz, featuring Jehnny Beth of British post-punk band Savages and backing vocals from former Oasis guitarist and songwriter Noel Gallagher and American rapper D.R.A.M., who also appears on the group’s single “Andromeda”. The song was released on 23 March 2017. It was released as the second single from their fifth studio album Humanz) courtesy of Wikipedia.

Blenheim Palace, England. (Pt2)

© All Photographs taken by Andrew, all Video filmed by Andrew and Narration by Andrew. 🙂

Whilst looking back through Wednesdays photographs something rather puzzling struck me, ‘why an earth is the grass so short Andrew?’ I mean you should see my jungle of a back garden when I haven’t mown the lawn in a week, yet this Parkland resembles a golf course? All very odd must remember to Google. NOT.

As you may be aware if you ‘read’ pt1, Wednesday previous I walked around Blenheim Palace grounds taking lots of photos, incidentally that’s in Oxfordshire England. Unfortunately the video isn’t as good a quality as I’d like, never mind perhaps I should invest in a new camera or buy a new phone :/ it’s on my wish ‘list’.

So rather than ‘publish’ a part 3 blog Post here’s the remaining photographs and video (have I told you they’re all taken by me?), So if you’d like a short historical synopsis please read part 1.

(Briefly Blenheim Palace is the ancestral home of the Duke and Duchess of Marlborough built in the 1700’s with stunning ornamental grounds, and England’s Prime Minister Winston Churchill was born here.) That wasn’t tooo painful was it. 🙂

A question for you. Have you ever visited a place you know you visited as a child but forgotten about? Well my gentle walk around Blenheim estate was one of those experiences, a beautiful summers afternoon when memories of times past filtered back into my imagination all prompted by the idyllic Parkland scenery. Like the time as a ‘Boy Scout’ I gained my Woodland and Forestry badge chain sawing trees and watching birds. Happy days and according to my nephew did you know they allow girls into the Scouts now? 😀 Sounds fabulous, twelve go camping for a weekend returning with thirteen!

On another occasion I fondly remember picnicking with my parents and grandparents under a tree and my grandmother spreading out a white linen table cloth as if in her front room, picture us seven drinking tea from fine china cups (with saucers), an ‘Alice in Wonderland’ tea party laid out on a forest floor all very surreal but at the same time wonderful! :/ The only trouble is the older you get the more times you’re struck by these rather depressing deja vu.

 

A very warm July day! But Mustn’t complain this is England after all.

The following is a 4 photograph panorama. (Moving left-right)

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The lake in front of the Palace has many types of wildfowl take this swan with signet below.

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© Andrew 🙂

 

Blenheim Palace, England. (Pt1)

© All Photographs taken by Andrew, all Video filmed by Andrew and Narration by Andrew. 🙂

Just so as don’t think these are old photos out of my album, they’re taken 05/07/2017

Video taken looking down toward the Lake (not the best video camera ever but no matter!)

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Blenheim Palace, Oxfordshire. England. 05/07/2015

If you’ve followed my ‘blog’ for any length of time, thank you btw, you’ll know my uploads tend to be ‘all over the place’……….. low boredom threshold? Anyways no harm done, todays Post was intended to be my recent visit to Downing Street London part 2, lol it’ll have to wait! After I woke up this morning, I opened the bedroom curtains the sun was shining the sky was blue so I visited Blenheim Palace (County of Oxfordshire,) and incidentally the videos I filmed are uploaded onto YouTube.

You’re all busy people so I’ll keep the text brief, be honest when we want to find out factual and historical information we go straight to Wikipedia, so click on the link here (‘yawn’ lol bet you didn’t bother neither did I 😀 )

A quick Synopsis: Blenheim Palace is the home to the Duke and Duchess of Malborough, was built early 1700’s and is a World Heritage Site, another interesting fact Winston Churchill PM was born and raised here. The Palace and Grounds are one of the largest in Great Britain and getting in the house costs £24 to look inside, I didn’t, blow that for a game of soldiers!

Possibly the ONE important piece of information you need to know is the lake and bridge situated in front of the Palace are completely man made being designed by the famous landscape architect Capability Brown………. a name to remember!

Imagine Capability like this, when you all landscape your own back gardens installing a nature pond, planting flowers well Capability Brown did the same with Blenheim Palace Grounds but on a much larger scale! The panoramic landscape you are looking at in my photos was completely man made, before the Palace existed the landscape was flat agricultural farm land………interesting fact don’t you think?

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Panoramic right-left of Blenheim Palace Grounds – 1
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Panorama 2
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Panorama 3
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Panorama 4
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Panorama 5
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Blenheim Palace and Parkland map is borrowed!

Well I hope you enjoyed looking at them, there is a part 2 there’s also the Downing Street follow up ………. and there are loads more pictures and video of Blenheim.

Andrew 🙂

 

10 Downing Street a personal view (pt1)

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Andrew (left) and my brother Mark standing outside number 10 Downing Street, London.

Remember the days when a British ‘Bobby’ didn’t have to carry an automatic weapon, in 2017 he’ll have one hand tightly gripping a gun barrel and the other trigger finger ready!!!

At the time this photo was taken Mark and I were still quite young children and if you read ‘A happy childhood’ you’ll recall my father had little time off from his chosen employment, so in place of fixed holidays my mother would take us boys on day trips instead, don’t go all tearful on me, there were no week long holidays in theme Parks or overseas sandy beaches to build sand castles on (I’m joking) but that’s ok, isn’t a happy childhood all about life experiences just as much as expensive holidays in exotic Countries?

Usually travelling by train we’d visit places of interest often educational, other days the three of us would cycle Oxfordshire’s country lanes with a picnic for lunch, all lol very Enid Blyton………. perhaps Google her name the lady’s a famous writer of childhood fiction much criticised and frowned upon these days for political correctness reasons, unfairly in my opinion, I enjoyed the youngster’s scrapes and adventures in a picture book 1950’s England that never was.

I love the picture of Richard Nixon. 

Where was I? Yes, mum would take us on day trips to places of interest and this particular day we three travelled by train to London visiting attractions like Buckingham Palace, The Tower of London, incidentally the day that picture above was taken, us in our smart brown anoraks, London was a new adventure being our first time in such an historic City………..

……..and yes of course we two are standing in front of 10 Downing Street the iconic home of British Prime Minister’s with a Policeman always at the door.

I say iconic because whichever Country you come from you’ll recognise that shiny black door with white lettering, and American readers will be naming their five US Presidents all standing next to PMs of their day. They are of course Presidents Nixon, Reagan, Bush Senior, Bush Junior, Obama and not forgetting our own heroic Winston Churchill PM.

To think I’m standing exactly in the foot steps of probably the most powerful man of his time, Richard Nixon! Wow, even all these years later I find my discoloured fragile photo quite awe inspiring……………….. and certainly NOT photo shopped!!!

So there you are, yet ANOTHER treasured family photograph and for those of you who’ve read the odd family post of mine you’ll be aware I’ve shared many special snapshots, incidentally my most liked and commented posts.

HOWEVER times have changed, I visited London a few weeks ago knowing the City would look very different after the many recent atrocities 😦 threats of Islamic terrorism are the reason 10 Downing Street now resembles the fortress below, no longer would I be Free to wander up and stand in front of that iconic black door so my mum could take a family photograph, a UK citizen’s right now gone forever!

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Entrance to 10 Downing Street 2017

(To be continued)

© Andrew