IT’S SNOWING!!! (part 1)

IT’S SNOWING!!!

😀 So bloggers this is a novelty I can tell you, the South of England lays underneath a white virgin blanket of snow and it’s still falling……….. thank you storm ‘Caroline!’ 🙂 ❤

This morning I opened my curtains expecting it to have rained last night, because I could hear cars driving through something wet, and what awaited my bleary morning eyes but snow and an awful LOT.

:/ However now I have the feeling main roads in and out of my Town will be blocked so that may mean I cannot get to work tomorrow…………. jeeze what 😉 a shame!!! Looking out the window the skies are grey which usually means rain, but we have ‘Caroline’, not today we’re going to get a lot more snow yet!!

Snowing Dec 10th 2017 009Snowing Dec 10th 2017 012

And of course I’ve uploaded video on to my YouTube Channel (btw one person a day calls by if I’m lucky lol)

Andrew

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Link to a personal favourite Post. ‘Helen’s Striptease!’ (And reasons why)

jimmy_stewart_rear_window_looking_through_camera
Above you see a movie still taken from ‘Rear Window’, a scene where Jimmy Stewarts acts with his eyes, he is shocked unbelieving and you’ll have to read on please.

Before I begin a brief message to WordPress who’ve let go ALL of my sexy nonsense and erotic tales go, I theme that selection as observations of the female human animal and they are always written with tasteful affection (well nearly) so thank you and I sincerely mean that. Possibly they allow me publishing leeway because ‘I give lady readers an insight into the workings of the male mind’ or is that statement the biggest load of bs I’ve written in 16 months! 

Anyways before anyone is turned off by my undressing GIFs I can assure you THERE is a point to using them, honest. For one a woman is yes gorgeously sexy as she undresses, two, they’re images relevant to a previous post I’m linking you to. Three I’ll be taking a break from publishing these types of posts (heard that before) and four I got laid last night (been a while) and I think I still have lol excess endorphins serotonin dopamine natural pleasure giving chemicals all, coursing through my mind because I’m feeling on cloud nine……………….however (big sigh) my natural chemical induced high will be short lived because memories of she are short lived and I’ll reveal NO more of my joyous evening I am a gentleman!!!

Emotional highs always disappear, it’s an unfortunate fact of life we human’s have to endure. Jeeze how bad would experiencing 24 hour happiness and ecstasy be, life is difficult, horrible sometimes but surely living a life without contemplation that’s born of a feeling down or depressed would be truly awful. Wouldn’t it?

(Btw this post began life as a post link only and nothing more!)

hot_stars_strip_off_all_their_clothes_17A question for you. Do you have a personal favourite post, one you’ve both enjoyed writing and so very pleased people from across the globe have enjoyed reading? Well like you all, I have several but ‘Helen’s Striptease’ has ALWAYS been close to my heart, and I hope new readers may enjoy because I’m linking.

Slightly narcissistic and self absorbed of me?

Why do I love Helen’s Striptease tale so much? Simple, events happened to me true as written (as always) and Joanna said she enjoyed my pace and reveal. To this day I cannot believe I gazed out my window one evening and watched my neighbour from across the road take ALL her clothes off, and all with the lights on and curtains open! You have to understand only one fact, she would have suspected her third story roof room window is invisible to the public and Street below and so it IS. Except Helen hadn’t reckoned on Andrew’s bedroom viewpoint from across the road!

giphyOr lol did she? Hmm there’s a delicious thought (licking lips), WHAT IF Helen suspected I may have been watching, WHAT IF she’d spotted me leaning on my bedroom window sill watching the spectacular electric thunderstorm then feeling a little frisky thought why not give Andrew a thrill? Perhaps he’ll come over?

But I suspect the answer’s a resounding no no NO and btw Helen isn’t her name! Hmm if she read this tale and realised the mature lady was herself, would she be p#ssed? Who knows, but jeeze I give not one personal detail and never will…………so enough wittering on, here for you this evening is my current favourite Blog Andrew Post. (If you don’t rate it lol that’s absolutely fine.)

Click here to be linked to ‘Helen’s Striptease’.

© Andrew. (Moral of the story, male or female close those bedroom curtains when undressing!)

***Oh and one last thought before I go, perhaps Helen’s Striptease is a complete work of fiction after all, lol this is the internet, people do read my Blog, so all I’ll say is true or false the choice is yours. Andrew***

Swim bottoms or Knickers, what’s the fuss? (Oh and a tasteful anecdote!)

©Andrew (Before I begin this tale, you could read my previous post ‘Something and Nothing’, though not at all essential. I’ll begin by saying my blond heroine was having a little fun with us lads and nothing further, 30+ years ago Britain was a more naïve enjoyable happier Country to live in and I’ve never been more convinced in my life.)

A lovely lady commented my post themed ‘sexy girls riding bikes in short dresses showing their knickers! Though feeling rather befuddled she commented me,

I honestly don’t understand the difference between underwear and swim bottoms. Women are at the beach everyday in swim shorts without any issues, why is it a big deal other places?

To which I replied with suitable emoji,

Madam 😉 I’m here to tell you there’s a world off difference between bikini briefs and a pair of knickers………….it’s all in the imagination!

Her reply as always was an adorable,

Giggle!

Well hours later I was taking a shower giving great thought to our internet conversation, and the American lady is right of course, a woman could walk up and down a seaside sandy beach wearing swim bottoms and no one would bat an eyelid. Yes perhaps she’d attract male attention if age 18 with an hour glass figure, bikini strings hanging off hips, slight hint of a vulva slit. However a middle aged mom would perhaps go un noticed……..I’m only kidding moms can be just as sexy, you only have to listen to my work colleagues, the older ‘girl’ exudes sexuality from worldly experience.

Standing beneath my shower hot water cascading down my slim body the heat reddening my skin as blood is pumped to the surface, my pulsing member beginning to twitch and harden a little as an excited thought crossed my imagination. I showered longer than I should being as it’s so flipping cold in my house!

With images of semi naked women making me hard, not the American mind, I thought to myself ‘of course the mystified American lady is quite correct what is the fuss?’ An interesting puzzle don’t you think? And do you know I’ve learnt more from women’s blogs than I have done in 35 years. Bikini bottoms and panties arn’t the same garment of clothing, functional in that they cover the lady bits, hide their modesty, also supremely comfortable being as there’s very little fabric hence she’s free to move as she pleases, but a tight fitting bra triangle is somewhere to slip the phone in, bend over in a bikini and they won’t fall down is an obvious one! That’s called confidence!

But panties turn me on bikinis don’t 😉 lol they are worlds apart!!!

Well enough to say I played with myself under the shower but didn’t cum, no before I became tooo excited the heated pulsing blood and all, a childhood memory came flooding back and I had to hop out the shower to jot it down.

Btw I’ve experienced a seizure in the shower, f#ck that was scary.

As an aside isn’t the brain magical, it never ceases to amaze me that an insignificant conversation will recall a memory from over a quarter of a century ago. Absolutely incredible.

The video above is my own, filmed by myself in September 2017 and features a game of cricket being played on ‘The Leys’, for context read on, well the bathing pool used to exist on the far side of the grass.

So that very evening I transferred my teenage memory into an anecdote, and a true tale as always. (That’s Witney’s ‘Leys Recreation Park’ above.)

So FINALLY to my anecdote!

Our Town has a large recreation ground to the rear of Saint Mary’s Church, it’s been there since 1918, how do I know this? At the entrance stands a large plaque informing visitors ‘The Leys’, for that is the grounds real name, was paid for and presented as a gift to the Town to mark the End of the Great War. I’ll not bore you with detail except to say ever since I can remember tennis courts crazy golf course parkland and a sea of grass has been enjoyed by Town’s folk for a Century………..even has a cricket pitch!

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Not a Witney picture, but this is so SO reminiscent of our now destroyed paddling pool, blue painted walls, just imagine a concrete ocean liner right bang in the centre.

Well down at the far end opposite the church there’s a children’s playground with swings and slides also a bathing pool or paddling pool as we call it because the water level is about knee height. But unfortunately our wonderful Council destroyed the structure on health and safety grounds and I cannot find a picture. Google image ‘The Leys’ and there resides a water fountain. Jeeze! 

The paddling pool was an unusual concrete structure because yes the pool was circular and painted deep azure blue, but in the centre stood an island in the shape of an ‘Ocean Going Liner’ complete with three funnels all sculptured from concrete, 1950’s art deco? In all my years I’ve never seen the like of it before, and the concrete boat had been there since ever I can remember. The park designer must of had a wonderful imagination because aesthetically it resembled a ship in every respect, even painted in red blue and black and I’d imagine the reason children were attracted to bathe here. We could climb all over but sadly the boat was ripped out of the ground, that’s called progress. 😦

So one sunny day many years ago, myself with friends Matthew and Robert decided to take his little 3 year old brother down to ‘The Leys’ pool, it must have been half term and perhaps we’d been instructed to take young Alex for a paddle in the water, I’m quite stunned actually at how much of this tale is coming back to me. The next scene I can remember is we three teens with our jeans rolled up to the knee playing in the water, young Alex supervised and climbing the ocean liner, and now I recall Matthew staring at me with an excited look on his face, his eyes beckoning me to look in the direction of a young woman wandering around the pool and I’m positive only we six were paddling.

I can picture her now, blond hair (well you would) mid twenties slim wearing a summery powder blue dress and holding her toddler’s hand in her own, the other clasping the hem of her dress to below her tummy so as to stop it getting wet. In fact all three boys were gazing at this cute mother with child paddling scene, THEN I suddenly understood the reason for Matthew’s animated excitement. The lady was slowly paddling around the pool the hem of  her dress clutched to her abdomen revealing the lower half of her panties. Oh yes I’ve written a fair amount of saucy ‘stuff’ on this blog, but honestly the gusset and slightly above was on show, Pink cotton Champaign coloured they were and for what seemed ages the lady wandered around the pool, three bewitched thirteen year old boys watching. 

I’d agree if you assumed she was keeping her dress dry, but why have I remembered the wistful far away expression on her face? And virtually nothing else from that week! Month?

If I were to close my eyes right this moment, I can see the sun glistening on the surface of the water and the image of a young woman toddler in hand, her powder blue dress the hem clutched to her waist and her panties on view with three excited boys staring. Oh yes staring! I’ve posted earlier I’d never ‘played with myself’ until my twenties, a long story, so this sexy scene at the time was little more than excited boyhood memories soon forgotten.

I cannot imagine us three teens ever spoke of this paddling pool lady ever again, she’d be a pensioner now, there’s a thought! I really don’t, perhaps we were younger than thirteen incidentally little boy Alex was adopted, a sad tale his mother never got over having to give her child away because she committed suicide a few years later, I remember my neighbour in tears with my mother, hmm so sad but Alex is in the army now with his own family so I guess things worked out for the best.

But hold on! Only one thought has troubled me since this sexy memory flooded my consciousness, it truly has, so why did this young lady reveal most of her panties and for ten minutes or maybe longer? 😀 Don’t you agree adults just don’t do this and she knew our eyes were glued to her underwear. Now that I’m grown up older (considerably) I’m positive she’d have been well aware we teenagers could see the profile of hairy mound beneath soft cotton fabric, and remember the pool water level came to just below an adults knee yet the hem of her dress was below her tummy? That’s practically 2 feet!! Don’t you think that odd lol.

😀 if there’s a conclusion to be made, I’d guess she’d could have whispered to herself,

“I’ll give these three innocent teens a thrill”, or “this is turning me on a little”,

NOW HOLD ON you know I’ve an active imagination but don’t you ladies think she could have? Exhibitionism is different for a girl, acceptable, and remember these were more innocent times in days long ago, we boys never talked of sex, we neither understood cared or knew bugger all about sex! Switch on a tablet today enter fisting, f#cking, sodomy, bestiality into Google and all innocence is gone forever voyeurism and capturing upskirt pictures on a phone all seems the norm. Hell one of us may even have taken a picture and shared her around Facebook. People say the ‘Good ole days’ never existed I beg to frigging differ. 

If this young mum (young mom) ‘flashed us’, which I’m convinced she did no one would judge her. (I know I’ve an over active imagination 😀 )

I’m getting off topic now, back then we lived in more innocent times 30+ years ago, a happier England where sex abuse wasn’t such a prominent News story, sex abuse was an anathema to me, there were only three TV channels switched off at midnight! We’re talking pre internet 24 hour rolling news, the days before unregulated tablets and computers, sexual assault didn’t exist on our childhood radar, but panties were a big deal, hell I hardly new what a ladies vulva looked like! We played in the paddling pool and a woman knowingly showed her knickers, of that I’m sure, it was possibly ten years later before I saw the next and I’m not joking!

So what has this to do with my American lady not understanding the difference between bikinis and panties, like I said the difference is all in a male’s imagination. To this day I’ve never forgotten Matthew’s animated expression, excited eyes pointing me in the young woman’s direction, forbidden ‘sexy mound’ in view and yet lol, all around us would have been mums wearing swim bottoms and we wouldn’t have battered an eyelid.

I’m here to tell you there’s a world of difference and always has been! 😉

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and happy New Year, and here’s hoping 2018 will a more peacful one. 🙏

Andrew 🤶💋😚

Something and nothing

©Andrew

274768277-confusion-quotes-about-life-770

Several of the more regular readers to Blog Andrew know what I can be like, a middle aged closet drama queen who likes wearing women’s stockings, writes about sex and bs, in love with mature women and all with a healthy nipple sucking boob obsession. Oh and did I ever tell you (I did) a blogger friend I used to email correspond with sent me photos of her boobs on my birthday, jeeze that cold winter’s evening was a shock and a half I can tell you and no I’m not gonna tell you when my birthday is, NO and you can ask and pester me all you wish but NO you can’t have it!!

Hmm there’s a thought, are sending topless selfies to adult friends illegal?

Anyways I had fun writing a post yesterday if a little rushed, I published and then realised if taken quite literally the young lady in question (a true story) could be considered a paedophile because on re reading and re reading and re reading…………….. and re reading to labour a frigging point it reads she was and I’d hate readers to think that! My removed tale when read in the current 2017 child abuse firestorm sweeping the Western World, is well dodgy! The young lady could be interpreted as grooming thirteen year old boys :/ but she wasn’t, yes thirty years ago society ‘appeared’ to live in more innocent times however in hindsight how WRONG we all were!

Last night I had a drama queen moment and realised for the first time whilst writing on Blog Andrew my heroine lol, the young lady could be considered by a reader as being a sex offender and that isn’t fair. 🙂 She wasn’t, I have been known lol to get carried away with myself here especially if I’m feeling a little ‘excited’! Well to put you straight I’m sure as she splashed around the paddling pool she realised her panties were showing to us teenage boys and interpret that as you wish. (Put it this way I was happy!)

I’ve never forgotten this lady’s wistful naïve expression, she very clearly adored her toddler baby, who was quite obviously the focus of her attention and as I guess all mother’s understand the very centre of her universe, yes I’m sure she knew we boys could see her knickers but so what ‘IF’ she had a little fun with us that’s fine. 

I’m going to reblog (soon) my tale so you can comment ‘f#ck me Andrew what a frigging let down it was a crap story and I’m p#ssed!’ ………………..fair point.

Andrew

I’m drowning in a sea of clutter

If you were to stand at the position where these pictures were taken, you’d be looking into my spare bedroom and I’m unsure about yourself but I’m struck by a commonly used English phrase, “I own tooo much stuff!”

The ironing board and iron I need, the tools are essential to my occupation also home, as for the rest? I could sell the lot and rent out my spare bedroom to an age20 lady from say Romania! :/ Now there’s a thought, female toiletries in the bathroom 😉 panties and bras on the washing line………….where’s the telephone for that website Russian Brides again?

I’d guess several times a week I ask myself ‘how on earth did I get myself into the position where I’ve accumulated so many items?’ Personal possessions I assume are essential to my existence? I’ll spare you any further photographs just to say if you peered into my garage the scene presenting itself will be pretty similar, clutter everywhere, implements and tools that are perhaps used twice a year or never!

But of course the reasons to buy so much ‘stuff’ in the first place, is simply an effort to save money, owning a lawnmower is because employing a gardener to cut one’s grass would cost hundreds of pounds. Owning the tools to fix a leaky tap are again because DIY is far cheaper and more convenient than phoning a plumber and paying his daylight robbery callout fee.

Ok those two examples are no brainers that could be themed essentials to living, but come on Andrew, why keep a camera’s that uses 35mm film when I’ll only ever use a digital for the rest of my life? Yes camera and lenses cost me quite literally hundreds of pounds and I guess that’s the honest reason I’m loathed to sell them, but there comes a time when you have to bite the bullet. Btw SLR’s are advertised for £5 on eBay and they don’t sell!

I could write of many many more possessions dotted around my home, most that’ll never serve their designed function ever again, so perhaps it’s time to stop procrastinating, seize the day and perhaps advertise on eBay, earn myself a few pounds OR better still donate to a Charity Shop!

Andrew.

Relationship conundrums :/

©Andrew (Hold on this post isn’t themed nudity, I promise! As always I needed a suitable photograph and discovered these two. A top tip enter any phrase into Google, click on Images and you never know what you may find……. JUST BE SURE YOUR PREFERENCES ARE SET FILTERED!!)

Before I begin, a Follower named Laura at blog ‘Skinny and Single’ replied to me that she’d be amazed if someone hadn’t downloaded a photo or two of my own?

Hmm that was an interesting comment. :/

Does this worry me? No not unduly, the nature posts I’m happy to share pictures with anyone, as for photographs of my ancestors I wouldn’t be happy but yikes for two years I’ve downloaded (borrowed pictures) so I guess what goes around comes around.

One or two readers are aware I’m not far from reaching age 50, my advice to any twentysomethings reading this post because yes young people do read my blog. My heartfelt advice is take note, middle age approaches all tooo quickly followed by half a century residence here on planet earth. It happens all tooo frigging quickly so turn off that social media pack away those video games (message to my nephews, they don’t read!) And live life to the full.

I’m here to tell you that old chestnut ‘enjoy yourself while you are young’ remains as true now as it ever did.

I’m single age -50 and still living as a single guy and yes it can break my heart. My fabulous brother who’s three years younger than myself, has never been without a girlfriend since he was age 9? Also for many years now he’s been married to a beautiful wife a homemaker who cooks crafts and sews, better still she has born him three fabulous sons, and yes she nags a little tooo much for my liking but hey she is wonderful and my brother is a very lucky guy…….

…….YES she’s a lucky woman also, they are both great catches intelligent kind and caring plus, and because J. will never read this, she’s the biggest pair of boobs you’ve ever seen but hold on, calm down before judging me!! 

Btw the theme of this posts isn’t breasts!

giphy fI sense disapprovals and near audible ‘tut tutting’. J. is blessed with a wicked filthy sense of humour, she knows I like her as a sis-in-law AND I’ve witnessed her breastfeed a son on many many occasions to be totally non plussed, I understand their biological function is well life itself……phew that was close! 😀 

Thankfully for some God given reasons men are able to differentiate between breasts feeding and nourishing a new born so as to keep the baby alive, and understand when it’s acceptable to appreciate breasts as sexual. Joyously a man’s brain is surprisingly intelligent enough to differentiate between the two, you understand. Que another Googled photograph (my blog post).

Oh yes relationships!

So yes I’m single age -50, and often quiz myself the question would I be happy and content living with a woman? Or bearing in mind one in three marriages end in divorce the phrase ‘Women. You cannot live with them, you cannot live without’ them springs to mind, quite often actually!

And I’m curious are periods the minefield the media and comedians would have us men believe. Do they stand in the way of a happy marriage. Is it true three days a month women are given to sudden and unaccountable changes of mood or behaviour. Yes being serious for a second I understand they can be emotional, but without wanting to appear misogynistic, at their time of the month are women unreasonable volatile inconsistent unstable or is ‘this rubbish’ and all a myth. 

You won’t believe the amount of times I’ve asked myself ‘Could I live with someone?’, am I weird not to have? Yes I think so because a woman on-line once told me so and incidentally the nearest I’ve some to having a hater, but there you are 😀 I’m a big boy now and took her on the chin! 

Free sex would be fabulous (joking) but I’m an intelligent guy I’ve slept with enough women, oh did I ever tell you the number’s 16) to know you cannot base a relationship built only on sex. Thankfully I could imagine little worse than having a fb ‘fuckbuddy’ for those not hip and down with the kids! I once slept with a woman and going home the next morning thought to myself ‘I would have preferred a kiss and a cuddle, perhaps shared a cup of tea after!’

Where was I single age -50. I’ve happened across these websites themed Russian Brides and I used to work with a guy whose next door neighbour travelled out to Thailand to find himself a wife. He did, brought her home with him and many years later they remain a happily married couple, but not a scenario that attracts me because I have the feeling dishonesty could exist on both sides? The guy wanting only sex, the lady after a passport or am I being disingenuous. Yes I am! The lesson I gleaned from my workmate is I understand relationships can be tricky, but however you meet your future bride it can be successful.

Do I miss not having children? Jeeze that’s a whole different post altogether!

Andrew

A ‘peachy bookworm’ and a saucy tale.

© Andrew

Before I tell you my saucy little tale I’ve a quick update. Regular readers to this Blog may recall most early mornings I’m joined by a young lady at the same bus stop. NOW don’t get tooo excited lol but for those who haven’t read the tale please click here because it really is tooo long and complicated to retell again!

A short intermission.

Before I forget. I’ll write no more of my visit to a Polish prostate masseuse lol I think I’ve over cooked that story, and just to say I’m passing on lovely Lydia wearing an 8″ strap-on ONLY because it doesn’t look fun, and Andrew’s all about enjoying a lady’s friendly kind caring company without any drama or distractions………….plus it appears f#cking painful and I don’t do pain!

bfcdc278d19c2ba91a278624a609e27f_viewReturning to that bus stop lady tale remember don’t expect tooo much! So you’re aware most mornings I’m joined at the bus stop by a young lady who is ALWAYS reading from an open book in one hand. That she reads from when I first see her by the ‘Sue Ryder Hospice Shop’, right through to alighting the bus and striding into the distance, that she never stops reading well fascinates me.

Anyways enough to say we’ve made friendly (very) small talk, nothing special mind, no names or exchanging lol telephone numbers, oh and disappointingly she’s old enough to be my daughter (btw she’s a peachy ass that looks fabulous inside stretchy leggings and I’m a gentleman so I let her board the bus before me and just by coincidence mind, I happen to gaze deeply into her peachy ass. Lol cheap thrills!

ANYWAYS she is lovely, BUT rather disappointingly she smokes loose tobacco roll your own cigarettes and one after another. 😦 As soon as she opened her mouth to first speak I realised tobacco had lowered her voice, damaged her vocal chords, you can always tell. 😦 Such a shame because for personal reasons I do so hate cigarettes.

She’s a lovely girl but the problem with being age@22 is you think you’re going to live forever, however life’s not like that is it, a chain smoking habit will always have side effects that’ll affect ones health, however that’s not for me to judge. Nice girl though, if I was 25 years younger I may have asked her out (yeh dream on Andrew sure you would have!!) The reason I mention this inconsequential anecdote is because I thought some readers would like to know. Hmm big sigh, it’s times like these I wish I was in my twenties again! :/

Oh yes that saucy tale, here’s me fretting I’ve no more what I theme ‘sexy observations of the fair sex’ stories, you know the tale of me one evening watching my neighbour strip naked (sorry I can’t get over this one), the tale of seeing my first vagina, the one night stand, a student showing me her boobs and many more true silly tales. 

Well here’s another, Wednesday I got flashed at by a lady and I still cannot believe she did it, now if I flashed my underwear at a woman I’d get arrested for perving lol, but I swear double standards exist in 2017 England. Anyways I’m not complaining and to give you context I’ll return one final time to ladies riding bikes wearing short skirts.

A word to the lady follower from South Africa, yes I’ve been wasting my life again downloading pics on Google (btw I cropped all their faces, and NONE were taken by myself as you’d expect!)  

Wednesday afternoon I left work to visit the dentist.

Whilst striding along the pavement suddenly in the distance I noticed a lady cycling towards me, and being the red blooded male that I am I could see she wore a short skirt! Consequently I (as you know this happens) I shifted a little closer to the kerb as you do, and totally by chance I surreptitiously looked in the direction of her saddle, my eye line drawn to her long legs and err up her skirt imagining those hidden jewels within, well believe me when I tell you she looked at me and gave me a cheeky big grin as she cycled past! 

There’s more! NO word of a lie that young lady (age 20), because she obviously knew what I was at, parted her thighs and showed me everything as she cycled by! Cobalt blue coloured knickers they were not forgetting the cheeky grin across her face and then ‘puff’ she was gone. Cheap thrills indeed!

I’m afraid I just do not understand women, lol I have trouble understanding why she showed me her knickers and this has happened before, the same cheeky grin, knowing what’s on view, hmm perhaps I have an unusual type of face?

Well I smiled in return glancing at her cobalt blue gusset and yes I’m afraid I was very brazen about looking. I kid you not, wearing a short skirt she flashed me as she cycled past and please do lol feel free to call me something in comments, and btw she made my day my week!

As to ‘the’ why? Perhaps she’s a free spirit and flashing a middle aged (sexually frustrated) guy amused her? Perhaps I get away with looking because I was a little obvious.

OK lol that’s enough sexy honesty for one evening, admitting my err weaknesses makes me appear like a perv, but hey this is my blog and you’re all aware I DO love the fair sex. So shall we refer to this tale as err 7 out of 10 just for my honesty! 😀

:/ But as I reminded you earlier, ladies beware of men in the Street photographing you riding a bike. 

Andrew.

 

Epilepsy and Polish Massaging?

©Andrew. This post is not so much adult themes, perhaps think of ‘it’ as an amusing anecdote.

I know I haven’t been around these past few days but I’m rather pleased I kept my word, I said I’d post everyday the other week and I did. So yes 🙂 if you read a previous post or two now you’ll know I visited my Polish masseuse and very lovely she was tooo the only dilemma is shall I visit again? But first! This week has been a little depressing long story enough to say this past month I’ve been taking new medication for my 25 year long battle with epilepsy.

However late last week I suffered a relapse whilst taking these new magic medical bullets, all very unfortunate :/ but fingers crossed the ‘episode’ was just a glitch, mind you and being honest I’ve had a strong sense these past 6 months or so, I may just be one of those people where medication just isn’t for me, but there you are that’s life worse things happen at sea and all that! I’m a positive sort of guy and yes seizures are a pain in the arse, you’ll understand epilepsy is a hidden disease unseen and unknown to many people until a fit strikes! I have a feeling all that ‘shaking’ is more scary and frightening for those who’ve never seen before, and although I’ve never experienced watching ‘someone etc’ I’m fully aware witnessing a seizure isn’t pleasant and I guess could be rather disturbing to say children.

Then again children are stronger than we adults give them credit for.

Not nice and the possibility of one happening is always in the back of my mind, within 5 seconds from now I could have a seizure then again the next could be one month away? The bummer is I have to be prepared for one hence they’re never far from my thoughts, all very draining. Hmm six ambulance trips to casualty so far in a lifetime, maybe I’ll write more about my epilepsy but then again I think readers prefer happy amusing upbeat blogs over depressing ones, I know I do.

On the subject of amusing anecdotes, remember a few weeks ago I visited a Polish masseuse name of Lydia? No? Please read on 🙂

Victoria's Secret 10That reminds me ‘Victoria Secret’ saw my stockings post and they now want to take me on as a lingerie model me having fantastic shapely legs and all……………..only joking, mind you my ass is round and pert and do you know what I could get away with modelling ladies hosiery! 😀

Oh yes that masseuse, I have this dilemma which comes in two parts, if I visit her once again which I really want to, there’s always the slight possibility I could experience a seizure in her bedroom, however if I was to forewarn Lydia she’d probably decline my booking. However if I didn’t tell her and experienced a seizure God forbid, she’d freak out which seems unfair to the lady even though I haven’t broken any rules, a catch 22 have you will. Visit have a seizure don’t get a massage or tell her beforehand and again don’t get a massage 😀 BUT, in life’s grand scheme there’s more important problems in the world than massages.

Oh yes the second dilemma is categorised toys and comes later. Along with the ‘Erotic Swedish’ Lydia’s speciality is prostate massage, I can honestly say a ladies finger up the ass gently stroking and tickling my prostate gland IS one of the more gorgeous experiences of my life. A sexy tip for you lady readers, offer to milk your partner’s prostate gland and your every wish will be fulfilled. You want the spare bedroom painted? Say you’ll gently stroke is prostate and that colour scheme you’ve always dreamed of will adorn the four walls.

thailand_prostate-massageYou want a picture hanging? The garage tidied? Then consider it done, just promise him you’ll insert a finger, tickle for a favour and he’ll do overtime at work just to buy you that new pair of shoes you’ve always wanted! Why so Andrew? Because the waves of joy and pleasure pulsating around my groin as Lydia stimulated those thousands of nerve endings is highly erotic, fabulous fun and near indescribable happiness.

As I lay on Lydia’s bed her sitting straddling my thighs, legs wide apart showing me labia lips prominent through thin lycra leggings was arousing, further still my err arousal gave me the hardest straightest erection I think I’ve experienced, and the orgasm from her finger tickling hand relief was truly heaven sent. 

My second eye watering dilemma is whether to go that one step farther! I’m being a little obtuse and you don’t understand what an earth I’m wittering on about? Perhaps the photo adds clarity! Hmm shall I visit again, go one step farther or shall I leave ‘it’? At present I’m thinking, ‘Perhaps I’ll leave ‘it’ for now 🙂 ……….still that ‘thing’ whatever it is? Reminds me of a bucket list I once jotted down.

😀 Penny for your thoughts!

Anne 005
Hmm could be Lydia 😉 , could be off Google images?

Andrew

Grandfathers and Great Grandfathers, and my own!

©Andrew. I haven’t published a family photo post in a long while, yikes I haven’t posted in a while, well this evening I’ve dipped into my treasured photoalbum that rarely gets opened, and thought why not share a few new unpublished ones. In the past several readers have enjoyed looking at these old photos of my ancestors.

Many of my relatives from years gone by served in the armed forces, not all on the frontline so here’s a selection I don’t get to see that often.

Two photos of my Grandfather ‘Tom’, the woman holding the baby is my Grandmother and the baby is yes my mother! Tom served in the Royal Engineers and worked on the bridges taken to Holland for operation Market Garden, the big push into Northern Europe. A fine upstanding gentleman with unwavering principles, I’ve yet to meet anyone in my life who understood the difference between right and wrong, as if black or white. A kind generous and fine man……..incidentally I was lucky enough to know him well into my late twenties!

And again my Grandmother was a wonderful woman who’d do anything for anyone a typical of the selfless war generation, my mother has a lot in common with Grandma ‘Kath’.

Grandpa and Dad
My Grandfather Robert, the small boy is my father

Grandfather ‘Bob’, didn’t serve in the regular army because of health issues, but he did is bit for King and country as a reservist. Asking around the family Bob suffered from severe anxiety nervousness and depression……………hmm I have a feeling we’ve a great deal in common………lol he’s to blame, only joking. 🙂 He did his best, nice man.

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Great Grandfather Edwin Yarmouth Cross far right. (Dad’s father) Edwin did serve in France on the Western Front the Somme Region, however he was an Army butcher but then troops have to eat!
Edwin 3
Great Grandfather Edwin Yarmouth Cross rear row right with his hand on a colleague’s shoulder. G. Grandfather was a well respected man in his village, he created their Branch of the British Legion, over one hundred flag bears attended his funeral. From all accounts a wonderful man, a pillar of his community.

Now we cross over to my mother’s side of the family, and I know I’m a very lucky and blessed man to possess so many photographs of my Great Grandfather Arthur Shepherdson, and yet again a pillar of the community and staunch church goer the family even had their very own bench seat in church? I’m very aware that this post could appear rather indulgent if that’s the correct word……… but hey 🙂 they are honestly better men than myself. Ahh, this blog is my alter ego don’t mix me up with a lot of the silliness seeping out of my imagination……….yes I’ve a boob fixation but a nice man as well.

Arthur back row - 3rd from left
My Great Grandfather Arthur Shepherdson sporting moustache, rear row 3rd from left
Arthur back right, arm to his face
Mum’s Uncle ‘Charlie’ standing in this very staged photo, Charlie is Arthur’s brother
A Friday today
Arthur Shepherdson is in amongst them somewhere?

Same album 1

Am sending letter today
Arthur Shepherdson the last soldier in the line, furthest away with an officer calling the roll
Arthur, middle behind sauce pan
A favourite photograph of mine, an enlargement hangs on my dining room wall, Great Grandfather Arthur Shepherdson sits centre left, his moustache quite visible and a hat sat to the back of his head. Looking tired I think!
Arthur Helmsley Camp (picture)
Arthur Shepherdson back row with an x below the 1904, Yorkshire training camp!
Arthur front row
Great Grandfather Arthur Shepherdson, Mum’s Dad centre wearing 2 stripes, the event a church parade. Notice the x
Arthur front middle
Corporal Arthur front centre with an x marked beneath him.
Arthur far left
Arthur far left bottom with an x marked next to him.
Arthur
Arthur Shepherdson (left) a very young man taking part in training exercises on the Yorkshire Moors. A lot of activity going on, I envy the camaraderie and I love Arthur’s concentrated expression he later went on to own a music publishing business and did very well for himself!
Best wishes from camp
Titled ‘Best wishes from camp’ G Grandfather Arthur uses the exact same phrase in his letter on the reverse, incidentally these cards were always posted to wife Nellie. Apparently eight soldiers slept in a bell tent………………big camp!
Same album 3
Another favourite of mine, yes the photo is discoloured yet the scene is one of action and activity, and the only photograph featuring horses, millions were transported to France and millions died in awful circumstances. Incidentally many horses originated from a relative of mine in Southern Ireland………..long story!
This was taken (Arthur sitting front)
Note Arthur Shepherdson sitting, now proudly displaying three stripes he’s a sergeant now!(Arthur is Mum’s Grandfather)
Uncle Charlie Arthur's brother served in France
Don’t you agree the soldier (far right) is kinda cool!!

Finally a treasured photograph some of you may have seen before, Great Grandfather Matthew the colonial wanderer!

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My Great Grandfather Robert, a rank of Trooper in the South African Constabulary, their maid is Emma the baby my Grandfather the location Bethulie Orange River Colony.

Great Grandfather Robert is an interesting character, he won service medals for his small part played in the 1898-1902 Boer war, yet along with Blenheim, Trafalgar, Crimea also Egyptian military campaigns, not one of the pre First World War battles appear to be applicable to Remembrance Sunday. I understand why, and btw I love this ancestral character a fiery unpredictable Irishman who liked to drink! After his time served in Africa, he and the family emigrated sailing back to Ireland and then became embroiled in IRA troubles in his village, finally having to emigrate a third time sailing this time to England. Hence that’s why I am born an Englishman!

As my Uncle used to say, “Robert looks a miserable bugger!” and lol I happen to agree.

Finally, I’ll perhaps return to Great Grandfather Matthew because his life is more interesting than mine will ever be!

Andrew 🙂

 

Photography session pt3 – final thoughts!

A massage tale and little else, no sex. 🙂

Masseuse (noun) def. A woman who provides massage professionally.

I must apologise for my misleading post Title that was naughty, and yes click bait at its worst! You’ll have guessed there were more selfies in this series of me modelling lady’s black stockings, however I’m worried some of you lady readers might pass out (or 😉 moisten) so I’ll keep them private, especially after reading such complimentary feedback! 😀 Then again 100 Likes ‘here’ and I’ll share them how’s that for a deal? NO!!!

I quite enjoyed photographing myself actually, viewing my body in a whole new perspective is fascinating sexy even, and if you were wondering those stocking’d pictures were captured using my Samsung Galaxy Tablet, I ONLY wish I’d remembered I owned a video camera because the movies filmed at Blenheim Palace could have been so much more spectacular!

Talking of dick pictures! I’ve never sent a lady a photo of my dick but the more I read about this nasty habit, a female victim’s reaction is either “whatever”, an unimpressed “wtf” or a more usual “that’s disgusting”. Yet some men appear to love exposing their manhood to women, why? However they’d probably have to think twice in future, current sexual assault legislation is in a whirlwind of change, a firestorm of change and quite right to.

I visited my Polish masseuse, then wrote a ridiculously long 4000+ word post, drafted and split into 3 parts! But I’ve been posting tooo often just recently, I have this sixth sense people are a little bored with my musings and to be honest I’ve wrapped up the series one might call, sexual observations of the female human mammal, for that’s what we are, just another mammal amongst thousands that walk planet earth!

Hmmm no doubt some lady will prompt another sexy post!

Oh yes my Polish masseuse, I visited her rented flat, I stripped naked as she sat on the bed wearing a rather stern expression watching me undress, and the more I think about her staring the more I’m convinced she was waiting to see what specimen of men’s member she would soon be consensually playing with! But many women have seen me undress to be unfazed by them gazing at my manhood.

So there I am stripped naked and extremely warm because her one bedroom flat was hotter than a sauna. I lay face down atop a bath size towel stretched out on her bed, feeling Lydia climb on after me I make myself comfortable and finally relax. I must admit I hadn’t expected her to sit on top of my thighs her knees straddling my waist, I could even feel her warm crotch against my skin, her knees squeezed tight against my hips making sure I wasn’t going anywhere!

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A very beautiful lady.

For the following ten minutes Lydia massaged my back transporting me to heaven, her skilful touch is an experience a guy hopes dreams and wishes for, gorgeous Lydia with her dextrous fingertips massaging scented oils into my shoulder muscles, the fibres tense and knotted, applying gentle pressure to tired muscles which later that evening were yes a touch sore. Not to worry I hadn’t experienced such powerful tingling sensations ever!

Then she asked me to roll over, propped a pillow behind my neck raising my head because she was worried I’d pass out. Again she straddled my hips, her knees so far apart I could see the profile of her ‘lady bits’, she was smiling at me gazing at her private region because it was quite deliberate. I became aroused, a signal for Lydia to get the baby oil bottle and plastic gloves out drizzling the cold liquid down the shaft of my p#n#s, then with skilful right hand she rhythmically tugged twisted and rubbed giving me the best hand relief I’d ever received, then she pushed her left index finger inside my you know and when she stroked my prostate my eyeballs rolled into the back of my head!!! Finally came the money shot as I gazed at her perfectly shaped boobs inside a cotton balconette bra………… I showered, dried myself, dressed, we hugged and I left a happy, very happy satisfied Andrew.

There was to be no sex, no oral, no touching of her incredible body, no kissing all of which I’d known courtesy of her website, and as I’d prepared myself to expect. Lydia was a little more (if you call prostate little more) than your average masseuse, however hers wasn’t an adult service, she was totally professional and importantly to me skilful genuine and lovely, basically all that I’d hoped for. 

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😉 A Google image? I’ll let you decide!

 

Andrew x

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark. OMD

I am totally gobsmacked! I happened to be glancing through my 158 post Titles, as you do, and was amazed to find I haven’t posted music performance videos from one of my favourite 1980’s pop Group, Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark perhaps better known to most people as OMD

Boy Bands of today just don’t write original hooks like the 3 songs below, don’t you agree? There’s a rawness to OMD’s electronic sound which just doesn’t exist in today’s Pop Idol over engineered music, featuring singers who appear to think screaming as violently as one can is singing?……….. 😀 Showing my age now.

Three of my OMD all time favourites ‘Enola Gay’, ‘Souvenir’ and ‘Messages’ enjoy! Andrew

Andrew

:)

‘If you never change your mind, why have one? (Edward De Bono)’, I had intended to post every day, but some of you will know me by now, my post order and self imposed rules change like the wind, anyways here’s a request post………. and I’ll be gone for a day or three, I do think I’ve become a little ‘samey’ (English term), so I’ll leave the masseuse story for another day 4000 words ffs! Anyways err have a laugh with this one!

https://collie123.wordpress.com/2017/11/01/have-you-ever-cross-dressed/ will give these pics both context and explain a little, I took a few more and I’ll probably add to these three pictures, let’s say Sunday? 😉

Oh and be aware the two scrunched up balls of black polyester lingerie now lie deep within the chest of draws from whence they came, mind you  I’d bet I’m not the first guy to have worn black stockings, and I doubt I’ll be the last!!

©Andrea

 

 

 

I work alongside Young Women, so what are these NEW rules and boundaries?

©Andrew, yikes I hope I haven’t raised expectancy, built this week’s content up tooo much, 😀 my posts are what they are, Andrew’s usual jumble of themes hopefully entertaining and insightful, btw todays post is slightly adult in nature, sensibly written with recent abuse news stories in mind.

jBjvucN
I agree gifs can be a touch tiresome but you have to agree the young couple are quite sweet.

Ass touching is perfectly acceptable between friends but when you don’t know the person you are patting then we’re talking sexual assault! As an aside my mother would slap my brother and myself across the back of our thighs, I should add we were children and deserved the punishment! Whereas my brother and sister-in-law have never laid a finger on either of their two sons who are adorable well behaved children of 9 and 11……………..I know I can’t make sense of that discipline puzzle either, whose right mum or brother? I’ve NO idea.

Anyways forget questions of physical punishment this evening I wish to ‘thoughtfully’ address the number one news story of 2017 which is sexual assault in the workplace, not so much Spacey Weinstein and our own Jimmy Savile who ARE nasty men, sexual predators. I’m talking what is and what isn’t appropriate if you like myself work closely with people of the opposite sex!

Sexual harassment at work. Man touching woman's butt.
Is intimately touching someone, male or female, bullying in all but name?

I watched a video on BBC’s News website the other day where male member’s of the public said they were no longer sure what is and what isn’t appropriate behaviour in the workplace, well for the last quarter of a century I’ve worked alongside young women aged between 18 and 21, 22+ if we’re talking post graduate students, and I’ve been asking myself are there lessons I should learn? Do I have to change improve reform my behaviour seeing as day to day I work with young women? More worryingly have I done anything in the past which could be now be misconstrued as assault, even before Michael Fallon’s resignation for touching a journalists leg I’ve been questioning myself Andrew do you have anything to worry yourself about, will a student appear out of the blue pointing a condemning finger accusing me of, “In 2000 Andrew brushed past me and touched my ass?”

Now do you see modern day moral standards are applicable to one’s past life when pinching a girl’s ass was acceptable? Because my guess many men are asking themselves these exact same questions right now!!……….. This is serious sh#t! Pat a girl’s ass 15 years ago and find your name is added to the sex offenders register in 2017!

I’ve made very clear within many published posts I work for a famous University and as such daily I come into contact with young women, men as well but let’s stick with the fair sex for now cause I’m not gay. Young women between ages 18 and 21, all shapes and sizes from all parts of the Globe, for the most they’re plain Jane’s others absolutely stunningly beautiful young women, if a little aloof, the dumpy Jane’s are often more friendly 😀

However the creatures have two attributes in common lovely human beings and highly intelligent if lacking in common sense time to time, three, I place all women on a pedestal…..I guess the first rule is ‘never put your hand inside the cookie jar!’ not forgetting I’m probably old enough to be their father. 😀

So have the boundaries and rules changed?

And do you know what? I can honestly say hand on heart I don’t consider workplace rules to have changed since when I first walked into the building 25 years ago. Nope I’m afraid I don’t agree with these men interviewed by the BBC, the rules haven’t suddenly changed, there isn’t a new standard you can stamp on every female’s ass!

don-t-touch-t-shirts-men-s-t-shirtTouching a female’s body isn’t appropriate now and neither was touching okay a quarter of a century ago. Ok on Blog Andrew I’ll write using extremely sexually explicit language, possess outrageous sexual opinions, but note also honest and truthful, my fantasies! Perhaps time to time a little male chauvinistic perhaps shocking to some readers, :/ I’m assuming my written and visual observations of female boobs ass and wet pussies are okay! I hope I’ve reflected my love for women and I never ever lie here, what’s the point, I respect the human female animal. (I’m a Darwinist not a Creationist.)

Phew that’s one hell of a mouthful! Some readers may think differently but this is my Blog, my release, my thoughts and I have nothing to be ashamed of or regret writing about……………and yes even the post where I write of watching my neighbour strip naked in her bedroom 😮 ………….I’m viewing through my window and she’s getting undressed with her curtains open so what’s a guy to do but go grab his binoculars! Naughty girl age 50.

Anyways I enjoy writing about women and perhaps female writers have picked up on the inner workings of the ‘a-typical’ middle aged male’s working mind. Lol I’m fine with every word I’ve written boobs ass and vulva’s all.

So after 25 years of working closely with young women do I consider myself to have anything to worry about, any skeletons in my cupboard? And the honest answer is no, I’m not just saying that, my mother taught me to never swear in front of women so that box is ticked and I’ve never touched any woman’s arm shoulder leg neither hair in my life without asking first, and what guy has ever thought touching to be appropriate behaviour? I’ve been touched and it wasn’t nice, wasn’t funny.

I understand completely the rules as to invading someone’s personal space, I think that distance comes naturally to 95% of the population, who would ever consider patting a bottom or pressing an open palm into a ladies shoulder acceptable, they aren’t acceptable now and never have been.

I will admit if a student I’m working with comes to seek my advice or check on the progress of the project I making from her designs, I am FULLY aware of her bust out the corner of my eye and as she walks out of the workshop I’ll give a quick glance at her ass but that’s honestly as far as I go. I’m not trying to appear a Saint, in summertime I’ll be fully aware she’ll be wearing less and I enjoy their feminine charms humour and personality, and believe me when young women desperately need something from you, skilled aid, they’re ruthless. I’m a soft touch and will lol do anything they ask as regards their projects, they have me wrapped around their little fingers they’re intelligent young women and I fear they know how to work it! 🙂 Play me, in fact I’m certain.

Yes I’m single but women don’t scare me, beauty intimidates me but being in close proximity to their perfumed bodies doesn’t freak me out or give me a raging hard on, or cum in my boxer shorts lol. No I’ve been naked in bed with enough naked women in my lifetime, consensual sex etc to be unsurprised by feminine nudity, so to answer my question yes these young women are in their full bloom and many absolutely stunning  but hey I’ve seen those goodies all before to know what theirs look like!

Do their faces pop up in my dreams at night? I can honestly say again no, the more mature woman sets my heart racing these days and I honestly do mean that………I think a woman at age 50 is grateful guys take notice of her I’M ONLY JOKING!!! Mind you, that young students don’t appear in my dreams is honestly a relief rather than something to be pleased about. Another box ticked!

So there you are, I have nothing to reproach myself for probably exactly the same as 95% of the male population, the rules haven’t suddenly changed, you treat people as you’d like to be treated and adhere to common sense respectful boundaries anything else can be considered as bullying.

However I can’t be so sure conversations themes haven’t been those of a Saint, my boss once said to a secretary “you should be more careful at your age”, exiting the lift she replied “I’ll ignore that R.”, I was taken aback by his brazen ness, laughed, but she’s a sensible woman and took the remark in good humour I think! So I guess the rule is if in doubt beware the crude remarks or inappropriate jokes and stay clear of politics and religion or any subject that could potentially star a heated debate…………. Answering my own question I’d never discuss any subject remotely sexual in front of a lady as I wouldn’t with my mother, perhaps having one’s mother in mind is a good yardstick!

give-the-downblouse-its-due-its-earned-that-23
Google image and she’s a model. 🙂

Finally, the most shocking anecdote of my time working with a female student. Many years ago I manufactured with my own hands a device linked to an aero-engine the student being a young woman post doctorate. A wholly professional and respectful working relationship note. Well one morning she popped by, a pleasant girl, to check on progress because her Degree is dependent on the quality of my workmanship!

Well today she wore non descript cycling shorts also white tee shirt with a very wide looping neckline, a well worn baggy garment. Well conversations finished with she bent down to grab the handle of her bag, keeping eye contact with mine the whole time. Paused as her hand hovered above the holdall/bike/pannier one of the three, and as she looked up at me hand hovering atop her bag, the LARGE looping neckline of her shirt opened up and I saw a complete pendulous very large breast and nipple accompanied with a guilty look in her eye, oh yes she knew! Then with that she’d turned and scurried out the building! I was in fact open mouth dumbstruck, as in the photo above the outline of her boob and nipple an image I’ll never forget till my dying day……….so brazen beautiful and 😀 yes deliberate.

But the reason why she did it has troubled me ever since because I’m an intuitive guy, not stupid though jury’s out, I am absolutely positive she knew exactly the reason for revealing all, perhaps she thought I wasn’t working hard enough and needed an incentive? I’m not complaining mind and to my great disappointment being flashed at hasn’t happened again, unfortunately!

Lol if I’d flashed her my dick, is that any different?

Women are complicated creatures and I’ll never understand the why, perhaps her boob was a way of thanking me because I am good at my job and would have contributed to her gaining a respectable PHD.

🙂 In summing up this rather drawn out essay, which perhaps all men should write their own version, I’m very pleased to say my behaviour this past 25 years has been respectful professional and appropriate, workplace rules haven’t ‘suddenly’ changed they’re exactly the same as they’ve always been. Yes perhaps I’ll have to be more aware than ever how I interact with women, or perhaps the fair sex are of the opinion political correctness is in danger of becoming hysteria and men should relax a little. Andrew.

Two tales of innocence lost

(Note sexual themes hopefully sensitively written for once! As of now I’m feeling quite inspired here on WordPress, though how long this will last for who knows 😀 Andrew.)

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London’s Underground

I read a post recently penned by a lovely lady writer of erotic literature, a tale where she amusedly shared a personal anecdote, safely and allowed for because she blogs anonymously, a sexual dawning a fact of life a milestone, and no I’ll not link her because she doesn’t know I’ve written my own version. I may reply to her though, I usually do when I’ve responded to a post. 🙂

She loved her father, she loved her family, she had an idyllic happy contented childhood and wasn’t abused, I only need further say many years later she blossomed into a happy contented well balanced older woman, who loved her father! But here’s the point, like me she grew up as a child pre internet, a world of three tightly regulated TV channels consequently hers was a sexually sheltered upbringing much like myself, an age of innocence where the naked human body was cloaked in mystery, passion and yearning comes later for now she is a young girl.

Do you ever wish for pre internet days where life seemed simpler? I’d guess if you have children you do!

Jeeze I don’t half witter on. A little context to her tale I’ll try to be brief, incidentally there’s always the chance the full tale, mine is concise, is/was a product of her imagination? I guess the key to this anecdote is not tooo many years ago, sexual awakenings happened in yearly milestones, now unfortunately my age nine nephew could log onto unregulated Wi-Fi using his iPad and see all manner of sickness, perversions, sexual acts, disgusting content. When I was a child Sex Ed was at eleven, there was a missed opportunity at twelve (30 seconds more and she’d have showed me her vagina), finally experiencing the sight of my first ever folds of labia age 14………… a truly life enhancing moment, however 60 seconds later and ‘puff’ the sexy lady disappeared.

Where was I, oh yes a female erotic storyteller I follow living in the USA!

Now I don’t have a sister so can’t attest to whether her experience is that bigger a deal in a little girl’s life, but here goes. Early one morning aged nine or so she lay on her bed with bedroom door across the room eight inches ajar, her home is in America the girl’s sleepy but awake having just returned from the bathroom. Her parents bedroom door opened the noise catching her attention, a few moments later the girl’s father walked past, catching her eye line as she gazed through the gap in the door from several feet away on her bed. By chance, for she’s still unsure, he happened to stop and pause affront that open door, and it was then she encountered the shock of her life because he wore not a stitch of clothing, further still standing in profile his penis was erect, he had a hard on, morning wood have you will and then he was gone……………. like I said she’s always trusted his motives if any and I can say no more, but for that little girl her father’s pause was a milestone, her first sight of an aroused male. And as I can attest sometimes when I get out of bed of an early morning I have an erection, so hard the member’s parallel to my fake beech laminate flooring!

So there you are she trusted her father loved her father, perhaps the tale was fiction, either way I can imagine the ‘sight’ of his member was a shock, but I’m not going to link because her post ISN’T the point to my own sexual awakening……….again from an age of pre internet and owning a TV with 3 tightly regulated channels. Happy days 🙂

As you may have guessed I have a similar tale 😀 whether it’s as good as the lady’s is another story.

 

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London’s Underground

Age 14 and many years ago, as a family my mum dad and brother visited our Capital city London, and being a close nit family my parents would take us sight seeing to places of interest around the UK, happy days. Well this day in London, I’d guess we’d be visiting all the famous attractions, Buckingham Palace, Changing of the Guard, a picnic in Hyde Park perhaps a museum or two.

Now if you’ve ever lived or visited London you’ll understand the quickest and most convenient way of travelling across the city is by that subterranean engineering marvel the London Underground, many tunnels are Victorian built, many platforms housed London citizens as the Nazis rained down thousands of tons of bombs 60 years ago, a truly atmospheric place.

I remember very little of the tourist sights we visited that particular weekend, but I do recall one very memorable chance meeting with a young lady…………. I’d guess you saw that coming! When travelling many of the older tube lines the tunnels are deep underground, then after exiting the platform you have to walk into a large tiled auditorium where your whisked to the surface by very long steeply inclined escalators, rising upwards spilling you out into busy London Streets.

Hurrying my tale along I remember the family exiting a tube train, me heading the front of this small family group, leading the way off the platform and into the vast escalator space. I’d guess I didn’t give a second thought to following passengers who knew where they were heading, so I joined the moving queue, steadied myself on a step I guess my hand grasping the black rubber handrail. That’s all hazy but I remember turning my head upward, gazing towards where the cold rushing backdraft blows from, and there a few steps in front of me stood a young woman, I have no idea as to her looks hair colour or clothes except she’s wearing the shortest of platted skirts and wait for it, no knickers! Doubly shocking because I couldn’t comprehend why women choose not to wear underwear I guess the days before mobile phone cameras, triply shocking because her vagina was smooth without pubic hair, perhaps she was a hooker who knows? What I do remember though, is for the next minute or so her legs tightly squeezed together, absent of any ray of light shining through her vagina bridge. I gazed directly at her pussy lips, the gorgeous slit tightly closed shut and for the first time in my life, labia so wondrous and shocking when I close my eyes I can see the lady’s forbidden fruit as if a photograph etched onto my mind.

And then she was gone! The lady disappearing from my life, never to be seen again as we passengers stepped off that deep tunnel escalator to soon exit into busy London Streets. Hmm :/ she’d be a Grandmother now, now there’s a thought!!

So there you are, I’m unsure if the blogger’s ‘father’ tale is true though I’m 🙂 sure it is, but my particular teenage sexual awakening is lol absolutely as written. Sadly my next actual view of a ladies lips was to be a good few years later, a cold November afternoon when I finally lost my virginity. 😀 Don’t hold your breath though, I’ll never share that wonderful milestone, some of life’s joyous experiences are best kept secret. ❤

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London’s Underground

(Incidentally for months and months I’ve been trying decide how to or whether to share my special moment, the girl riding the escalator is seconds long and hell not worthy of a post, I’m so pleased I waited for this lady’s tale, a nice excuse.)

 

Andrew

 

Announcing ‘A post every day for all next week’

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My momma always said, “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

I woke late yesterday morning, dressed, breakfasted etc, ran upstairs into my spare bedroom, grabbed my electric toothbrush and by the time I reached the bathroom door I heard a clunk as a lump of plastic hit my laminate flooring. Turning around the lump was a plug, attached to a cable, fixed into the electric iron I’m staring at in my hand! So there I am dumfounded gazing at an iron thinking to myself wtf brush my teeth with this? Seriously am I starting to lose the plot or are these the first signs of yikes……….? Jeeze :/ that ain’t frigging amusing!!! That anecdote means not a thing, except I wanted to share, don’t worry I’m not losing the plot but incidents like this sharpen the mind.

Announcing, one post a day for all next week

I’d been signed off work last week with a (badly) bruised rib bone 😦 consequently with time on my hands the choice was do nothing or write my thoughts into WordPress posts. Consequently that’s what happened, the trouble is I don’t enjoy seeing them languishing in draft, I never have done, blogging for me is write something new and original, I fret and fidget a little, then have to ‘publish’ so that’s what’s happening next week. Though maybe don’t set your hopes tooo high!

Monday (A tale)

Two tales of innocence lost

Tuesday (A tale)

I work alongside Young Women so what are these NEW rules and boundaries?

Wednesday (Private photographs, a request)

I really should have put some knickers on!

Thursday (A tale)

Visiting a Polish Masseuse part 1

Friday (A tale)

Visiting a Polish Masseuse part 2

Saturday (A tale)

Visiting a Polish Masseuse part 3

Sunday (Ancestral photographs)

Grandfathers and Great Grandfathers

They’re all written after Sunday who knows?  Andrew

 

Poppy Day

poppy-field-well-house-lane-june-2007-10inch

IN FLANDERS FIELDS 

In Flanders’ fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place: and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders’ fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe;
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high,
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow  
In Flanders’ Fields.

(Canadian doctor, Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae 1915)

My Great Grandfather Edwin Yarmouth Cross, a village meat butcher living in a tiny coal mining village at the heart of a poor community in sleepy Gloucestershire, through circumstance not of his own, diabolical political misjudgement, in 1916 found himself conscripted into the army and stationed in a French Town called Bethune on the Western Front of Northern France……… Somme Region.

🙂 But hold on ‘Gramp Cross’, for that’s the name he was called by, was lucky to discover his was a reserved occupation, a meat butcher (he never sold or ate offal from his shop, and the reason I’ve never tasted offal!) his trade was that of a meat butcher, and because soldiers and officers HAD to eat, consequently he butchered meat from the safety of far behind the trenches.

He was a fortunate man, he never fought in the trenches…………6 brothers did see action 2 of whom were injured.

‘Gramp’ was a fine principled moral family man, apparently respected by everyone in his English village, at his funeral one hundred flag bearers from The Royal British Legion stood by his graveside to pay their respects. ‘Gramp’ wasn’t a war hero, but he did found the local Branch of the Legion, raising money for victims in both wars.

After WW1, he returned home from France, started a family, had two daughters one of whom was my Grandmother and then carried on his occupation of village butcher till the day he died, not forgetting he served his community as an ARP Warden in WW2.

A family tale of mine, is one time he stole a sheep that roamed The Forest of Dean surrounding his village called Cinderford, butchered that sheep and distributed the meat amongst poor local mining folk. A fine man, yes he didn’t fight in the trenches but ‘he did his bit for the war!’ 🙂

This year, as every year, I bought my poppy.

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Edwin Yarmouth Cross, My Great Grandfather (Far right hand on shoulder)

My Great Grandfather below.

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E. Y. Cross, village butcher.

 

Andrew.

 

 

You always expect the worst, don’t you? Pt 1

©Andrew

A hematoma is a collection of blood outside of a blood vessel, I learnt something today.

Thank you for the replies of best wishes and kind regards after posting I’d damaged my ribs, and I do really mean thank you I was in pain and thought I may have broken a rib. I haven’t thank goodness, the small lump protruding from my ribcage is a hematoma (blood bruising) attached to the outside of one rib, forget the number! A lovely Doctor said the bone’s not broken, phew that was a relief, yes there’s a swelling which will take quite a while to disappear, if ever, but hey 🙂 I can live with a bump.

Several months ago I commented to a lady blogger named arwenaragornstar, admitting a fact lol that I didn’t really know how to blog properly. To be more specific I quoted a UK phrase ‘I wing it here’ where she replied 😀 ‘we all do’, so with a theme less blog in mind, I thought why not share my consultation with a British Doctor (GP) in pt2 and hopefully with the usual entertaining twist, yawn lol, but like I always say Blog Andrew is bereft of a theme…… “I wing it!”

Btw I’m giving myself a present, I’ll sooon be visiting a Polish Masseuse for my very first Erotic Swedish Massage, hmm :/ that might make for an amusing tale but I’m afraid you’ll have to endure reading adult sexy themed posts yet again! 😀 No doubt I’ll write about my love and regard for lady’s boobs YET again, I do enjoy this blogging alter ego…….secret ego 😉

Now for part 1, this present post, I’ll share photographs I captured this morning on my walk into Town. I often carry my camera around with me during a day, so I thought why not share snapshots of a-typical British Town life, makes a change from observations of the fair sex and her curves………stop Andrew!!

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If you reside in the USA you’ll refer to this autumn Season as Fall, well as you can see from the trees on the Common leaves are turning shades of rustic brown and I’ve no doubt after a strong gale they’ll all disappear. In fact I’m a little surprised the leaves haven’t fallen yet being as we’re into early November, but British weather yawn is still very mild at present.

Haha Poundland! We have a thrift shop that sells everything for £1, I must admit I try to avoid shopping there not because I am a snob mind, nope. I don’t tend to visit pound shops for the simple reason I live by the maxim you get what you pay for, and there ain’t half a lot of rubbish on sale in £1 shops, I understand why! However they do sell 4 tubes of Fruit Pastilles cost of one pound and I’m addicted to Roundtree’s Fruit Pastilles!

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Fire Station

And finally to our Town’s Health Centre funded by the NHS, a wonderful institution created by a post war Labour Government which promised free medical healthcare for all citizens driven by the iconic phrase,

 ‘From the Cradle to the Grave’

(A Paper first published 1942 by William Beverage Labour Party.)

Unfortunately our National Health Service is underfunded and the staff are overworked, consequently we must all endeavour to stop successive Governments from dismembering this wonderful institution, the British public love and cherish our NHS and long may that continue.

Andrew

 

 

 

Cheap ‘sexy’ Thrills 2

I am so bored AND I’m in pain I hope you know! Things I do for you ladies in the name of redressing the balance. I get the sense my post Cheap ‘sexy’ Thrills wasn’t well received! I don’t know I’m an intuitive kind a guy but not receiving a single like kinda tells me I over stepped a good taste benchmark, I objectified the female figure for cheap visual gratification hmm :/ fair point, I’d guess correctly one or two ladies are secretly seething, mutterings of “male chauvinistic pig”, so any ladies who still follow Blog Andrew so as to redress the balance I’m going to share sexy photographs of men alongside their bikes! Objectify a few male bodies for male or female viewing enjoyment. Off to bed now and did I tell you I’m in a lot of pain 😀 Andrew.

Goodnight. 🙂

 

Cheap ‘sexy’ thrills

I’ve broke a rib! I can’t get out the house! I’m bored! Hence posts such as this! Normal service resumes soon, promise!

I hope you’ll read my soon to follow post. A thoughtfully written piece where I address the fact I work alongside young females, I’ll share my views as to ‘what is and what isn’t’ appropriate behaviour, do new rules sensibilities and boundaries exist in 2017? Or have men always understood right from wrong in the workplace?

SO with my new found moral respectability in mind, this post is themed observations of women riding bicycles wearing short skirts showing their knickers! I try so SO hard to be thoughtful and serious but (big sigh) sexual themes amuse me. :/ My apologies in advance.

Kelly Brook
Kelly Brooke model and actress!

Cheap Thrill (noun) def. Something providing only short-lived enjoyment or satisfaction.

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Black stockings identical to my Marks and Spencers pair, same hold-up bands and all!

I haven’t written one of my sexy observations of the fair sex posts for a while, time to put that right 😉 The beautiful historic City of Oxford, and you’ll understand where I’m coming from if you’ve ever visited, is a city of year on year eternal youth and a consequence of being a seat of learning each September a new ‘crop lol’ of let’s refer to girls 18+ only, begin their University education, a new intake of female students and young women flood Oxford’s Medieval Streets and yes their sexuality is on show for all to see, 🙂 this could well be my final ‘observation of the female figure’ Post btw. Note Google images only!!

tumblr_ndi9d634gp1scxri0o1_540For reasons incomprehensible to my tiny male mind, a fact of life is ladies of all ages wear short skirts, I know not why, fashion? To attract a mate? All female birds and mammals possess a gift for attracting a mate, women are no different, they have the legs so why not show them? The choice is there’s to make and praise the Lord!

Girl legs bike 3Where was I? Oxford a City of eternal youth! And I’ve used that phrase before with  applicable posts, this summer on a particularly hot day I’ve seen many many ‘guys and girls’ wearing very little! A young lady will pass me in the Street boobs a jiggling nipples very often set on full beam if a cool breeze is afoot, and closing my eyes this very moment, I recall one attractive young lady wearing a skin tight purple top with massive round boobs, and nipples the mirror image of Scammell wheel nuts (Google!) Damn I’ve drifted onto a favourite conversation piece of mine, BREASTS!

South African professional model whose name escapes me.

Oh yes where was I short skirts. Whichever the season of a year I’ll wander down town of a lunchtime and young ladies cycle the length of ‘blank’ Street, revealing their glorious long legs and shapely thighs, incidentally this very week as the temperatures have plummeted they’ve switched to adding black stockings to their attractive look. I’m unsure as to factual validity but a guy once told me women wear this garment because they have an extra layer of fat to their bodies? No idea!

:/ Over active imagination!

I shouldn’t really admit this but if I happen to be walking a pavement and visually make out the image of a lady on a bike approaching me, I have been known to edge closer to the road kerb, not pervy close mind! And as she’ll cycle past but a couple of feet away and if she’s wearing a short skirt, I may happen to have the briefest of glimpses of a milky white inner thigh, my eye line drawn all the way to the gusset of next weeks washing! And incidentally ladies will smile for they know exactly what us men are up to!

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Girl legs bike 2

I’m in a lot of pain 😦 , some Readers might just say good! Andrew 😉

 

So our Defence Secretary MP has just resigned!

nintchdbpict000364304114The UK’s number one tabloid newspaper ran two stories alongside each other, Emma Knight 26 telling us ‘that’ she WOULD wear a sheer bathing suit, incidentally a celeb gossip news story which I can’t be assed to explain because it’s so banal and crass to the core. The second story being the resignation of Sir Michael Fallon who happened to be our Defence Secretary arguably the third most powerful politician in the land.

Michael Fallon
A rather forlorn looking EX Defence Secretary Sir Michael Fallon

The juxtaposition of these two very different stories in one edition shouldn’t surprise you, because The Sun is a ‘newspaper’ popular with the working class man who is assumed is only interested in sex? Also the irony isn’t lost when I tell you up until several years ago the The Sun published on page 3 of each daily edition, a full page photograph of an attractive curvaceous young woman with her boobs on full view.

Yes images as every right minded person would point out, not only feminists, that are degrading and could be viewed by children, just be aware The Sun are always up for sex stories, sells newspapers don’t you know hence curvaceous voluptuous Emma is published wearing her opaque swimsuit. Btw she does look sensational! 😛

So our Defence Secretary has resigned, and for those that didn’t understand why it’s because fifteen years ago he touched a female journalists knee during a Radio interview. I guess he knew he wouldn’t be seen, also he’s an intelligent guy perhaps he thought she’d maybe up for fun and games? Who knows but let me make clear he was wrong!

thASFLSHGD

Now that this story has resurfaced, journalist Julia Hartley-Brewer’s reaction has been to say she dealt with his unwanted sexual advances there and then and considered the matter then closed. Incidentally she’d said to him at the time “touch my leg again and I’ll smack you round the face” which personally I only wish she had.

So I ask you this, is a smack/slap/ across the cheek perhaps the reaction every woman should take to having her leg touched? Or should a man in charge of Britain’s Army Navy and Air Force be sacked from his job with all that’s going on between Trump and Kim? A dangerous game of brinkmanship that could end in nuclear war, hmm I don’t think so.

Now hold on before you accuse me of err anything! In the UK we have several MP’s who have been reported for unwanted sexual advances, many stories will re surface and many MP’s will lose they’re jobs and of course this harassment debate stretches over the pond with new Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey actual sexual assaults. On reflection perhaps these two despicable examples of manhood are a different news story to our own ex Defence Secretary.

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That’s for you two decide. As for me I just wish more women DON’T say, “touch my leg again and I’ll smack you round the face”, I just wish they’d swing their arm from deep behind their shoulders and smack their hand across the guys face! Hurt him and shame him in full view of others!

Have I been right and proper with some of my observations of the fair sex on Blog Andrew? Perhaps not then again I’ve always been honest and if I’ve written about my love of suckling at the nipple of a ladies breast as if I’m a new born babe, the anecdote is true and only because there’s a difference between adoring women and taking unwarranted sexual liberties. (Work that one out!)

A recent quote from Ms. Brewer as the dust is settling,

“Westminster is in the grip of a media which hunt that risked creating a sterile world, where men and women never speak or touch in the workplace.”…….

……”That’s not a world most of us want to live in” she said.

Andrew 🙂

 

Have you ever cross dressed?

Andrew© (Prompted by a comment thread between the lovely Joanna and myself.)

Tim-Curry-Rocky-horrorA dream of mine, more truthfully a fantasy which could be an entry on my bucket list big sigh, would be to visit the theatre and watch the stage version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show dressed as a woman, or the character Dr. Frank-N-Furter to be more specific.

“Why so Andrew” you may ask? Because the majority of readers to this post 🙂 will be aware men go to watch this wonderful musical at the theatre wearing high heels, stockings suspenders ‘big knickers’ a bustier and of course the obligatory brunette curly wig, all to liken themselves to sexy scientist Tim Curry or as close as they could possible hope to. (Picture left.)

I own very few movies on DVD simply because you soon tire of watching the same movie more than say three occasions in a lifetime, well my collection consists of All The Presidents Men (because I’m a Political animal), The Life of Brian (because Python’s script is a work of genius) and thirdly The Rocky Horror Picture Show because I love both the music and sheer theatrical magnificence, plus I fell in love the first time I set my eyes on the virginal Susan Sarandon…… a gorgeous sexy woman and still is!

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The first time I became aware men went to watch the stage version looking like Tim Curry in drag, was from my sister-in-law (a wonderful woman in every respect) and unbeknownst to me she and my brother had seen the musical in Cambridge and he’d gone to see Rocky Horror suitably dressed in drag……… and further still he’s never once told me, not that he ever needed to mind!

This post is themed women’s stockings and not Rocky Horror.

There’s no excuse for me not going and watching the Stage version in drag is there, but lol you can’t go on your own and no one I know is remotely interested, and anyways I’d imagine University students could pull the look off though I’m not so sure about middle aged men! I should add I love the musical foremost for the fabulous toe tapping songs and memorable hooks and not necessarily the costume wearing.

1335400307522-P-271647I am a bit of a closet exhibitionist, by that I mean I’ve posted pictures of me ‘inside’ my Fleshlight sextoy for WordPress only, which incidentally I trashed many many months ago (toy), and there’s a photograph of me wearing new underpants in a post! But most importantly they are photos absolutely relevant to the two posts (promise lol), I would never share them just for the sake of showing off because that’s just plain sad lol!

Where was I before meandering into tales of Rocky Horror, oh yes cross dressing wearing women’s clothes!

There’s a British comedian named Eddie Izard who performs his stand up routine dressed as a woman, a transvestite have you will and he looks fantastic as a woman, but then why should we adhere to sexually orientated dress codes simply because society expects us to? Though don’t go forgetting the fact 95% of men look terrible in women’s lingerie whereas a woman looks sexy and gorgeous, btw the lady doesn’t have to be a size 8 to look sensational. I’ve undressed a woman, in her bedroom I might add and she wanted me to, who was let us say a lady on the larger side. 😉

Well not long after we’d met for the final time I thought to myself Andrew, C. said I had a fantastic looking ass’ whilst she massaged Boots own brand coconut butter into my shoulders, and as you may have seen from my watching Rain photographs I have pretty good legs even if I say it myself.

Like I said after we’d last met and I guess a few days/weeks later, I popped into Marks and Spencer lingerie Department and because I have no shame I purchased a pair of black stockings in my size. Incidentally the young Lady to her credit never once broke into a smile and I should add my heart was thumping beneath my chest, my cheeks were burning red and I couldn’t leave the store quick enough after purchasing.

God knows how I didn’t have a heart attack!

That same evening after I’d returned to the comfort of my own bedroom I shut the curtains sat on the bed and opened the cellophane packet, forgetting to add I clipped my toe nails first. I’ll put you out of your misery reading this silly tale, I slipped off my jeans and gently pushed one foot into a stocking then carefully unrolled smoothed that oh so sexy garment the complete length of my leg. Btw isn’t the elasticated stocking ‘hold up’ a clever design, I mean those rubber strips gently gripping the skin without leaving a mark or slipping down! Learnt something that evening!

Then for half an hour or so I walked round my bedroom, gazed at the reflection of myself in the full length wardrobe mirror, sat on the edge of the bed lol gliding the palms of my hands up and down that shiny silky smooth polyester fabric, finally coming to the earth shattering conclusion I looked bloody stupid wearing ladies stockings. HOWEVER with a bustier and high heals I think I’d look absolutely fabulous at the theatre watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

And before you ask, with my underwear curiosity at an end I unfurled those stockings and truthfully have never worn them again, basically for no other reason than wearing black stockings on their own IS a little sad, very sad indeed, and as only ladies can attest to you have to wear the full sexy ensemble to carry the look off.

Andrew. (Before you judge me, I’m not the first guy who’s tried on women’s black stockings and I doubt I’ll be the last! 😀 )

 

 

 

Blogging

©Andrew

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My apologies I haven’t ‘published’ this last few days but believe it or not, and I know this will amaze and astound you 😀 every post has to be just right before sharing on WordPress, I know incredible lol but true! So if I’m lacking inspiration or a little world weary, a consequence maybe stories photos or a silly yet true tale won’t appear, each one of us at times finds life tricky to navigate however just know I religiously read everyone I follow. 🙂 (Makes me sound like a stalker NOT!!)

I have several unfinished posts in Draft, one could be titled, “the life changing moment I by chance saw my first pussy labia lips’ age 14, also “the life changing moment I fingered my first woman’s vagina!’ My age to be disclosed but over 18!…………….However perhaps both are a little tooo tacky even for Blog Andrew even with my light hearted hopefully amusing turn of phrase, and perhaps a good place to end my accounts of first sexual experiences from my youth.

:/ Then again parting my very first ‘lady’s’ labia lips, losing my virginity were special mind blowing milestones in my life, a beautiful experience and an incredible afternoon 😮 as you’d well imagine. Btw for some inexplicable reason themes of posts that are quite popular?

I love feedback and soon after publishing last, a Nigerian young lady commented ‘you don’t appear to be looking forward to the Christmas Party?’, Miss if I may call you Miss, that particular post of mine is purely a product of middle age, let me explain an Office Party is a little contrived politics and all, a one off have you will and incidentally I am attending. I was being a little tongue in cheek actually because the evening won’t be so bad but they’re not technically your typical kind of party if that makes sense, you’ll understand one day.

So Esther don’t take tooo much notice of any sentiment behind that one post, my advise to you is ‘party on’ whilst you are young and enjoy yourself, ignore my negativity 😀 and I’m not patronising you. Anyways not to worry I wouldn’t 🙂 don’t take any notice of my lack of enthusiasm if that’s how I came across in my post, Office Parties are not 😉 a typical of the Parties you’ll be going tooo!!…………. Just wait twenty years or so.

Andrew.

 

 

The Hell that is the Office Christmas Party!

Original by Andrew (Now promise you won’t go feeling sorry for me 😀 )

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You’ll have an idea the direction this evening’s post is heading, yep you’ve guessed correct Andrew has received email notification of this year’s Christmas Party, incidentally also sent to 200 other support staff with an accompanying Doodle. What’s a Doodle I hear you ask? An attachment where each employee has to tick (green) if they’ll be going to the party or tick (red) to say they will not, and worst of all each employee has access to the entire list of names. 

If your name’s not ticked green on the list then everyone knows you won’t be coming. F#CK!

Hmm no hiding then! Some of you are aware I have chronic AvPD, my father suffered from it as did his father, consequently I’m afraid small talk just isn’t me and if I attend any type of social occasion where I find myself within groups of lovely people, where I’m expected to be socially comfortable happy at ease chatty and full of amusing stories, I panic! Trouble is these scenarios are my idea of near Hell lol, harder still I’m expected to enjoy myself and have fun but here’s a thought I’ve often wondered do people in fact enjoy Christmas Parties?

All the men present are based within four installations across Oxford and I’m acquainted with most of them, however one hundred Party goers will be office women of varying ages all again support staff but here’s the problem. Throughout the working year one hundred office ladies work separately to one hundred technical staff, ever heard the saying never the twain shall meet?

Well come a date in late December the two separate sexed groups are thrown together for a sit down meal in a hotel yet neither really mix throughout the previous year. Oh and I omitted to say a DJ is provided for dancing afterwards, yep lol dancing! And worse still, all seating positions have been organised in advance, yep each seat place is name allocated making sure you’ll sit next to ladies you may never speak to throughout the whole of 2017! 😀 I wonder if our Administrator is a sadist?

boomerang-headerOk I’m exaggerating a little, I do come into contact with other female staff on a day to day basis, but explaining how these encounters come about is pointless, suffice to say you get the gist of my tale because your own workplace Parties will be very similar, the same the world over!

Now don’t get me wrong they are all lovely LOVELY people, friendly highly educated University staff and from what I’ve always been aware, I’ve heard of very few fallings out or arguments apart from a little ‘bitchyness’ which happens in every large organisation. There’ll always be individuals who don’t get on with someone else because that’s life, again it’s the same the world over and no different to Primary School children with their own playground friendships and odd fallings out. Adults are just children at heart but bigger!

Lol our office Party sounds fun doesn’t it? I’ve attended these events before and I guess they’re not so bad after a glass of red wine, and importantly chatting about work is forbidden so any gripes and grudges will have been left at work. But here’s the problem, an organisation chooses their employees purely on their suitability to do a job they’ve been taken on for, with myself it’s machinery, with a woman from accounts it’s because she’s good with figures. Yes we’ll work together however we’ll possibly not socialise together, we’re individuals from differing backgrounds who may have little in common with each other, yet once a year we’re all thrown together and expected to have fun enjoy ourselves and dance the evening away as one happy organisation………….jeeze lol.

xmas_party_1020565Makes me sound a miserable bastard doesn’t it, no not at all I’m a quiet sort of guy and truthfully I have no enemies, one time I even heard a guy say “the thing about Andy is he likes everyone” which was lovely to hear. 🙂 But I do find standing around within groups making small talk on the hellish side, no one’s fault that’s life that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Something else I’ve noticed, at these events women do naturally congregate together and chat about their children, they are all mum’s after all it comes naturally! But quite noticeably groups of guys don’t, they’ll chat about hobbies, cars, motorbikes, holidays and the like.

Ok I’ve mad a few generalisations, I guess everyone has reservations thoughts of being pressganged into having fun, so ‘gulp’ now I’m going to have to open that email and tick the appropriate box for going? Or not going? That is the question!

(As long as I can remember I’ve only known of one office romance in my time with this employer, he was a serial married adulterer she an unattached pretty secretary, the affair fizzled out after a while but still to this day is gossiped about. Hmm I guess there’s always the chance I could find myself alone with Amanda behind the Christmas tree, a kiss and a boob squeeze 😉 ………..yeh I wish, keep dreaming Andrew! 😀 )

Happy Christmas 🙂

More! Late evening thoughts.

©Andrew

Throughout my many months blogging (loosest use of the word lol) I have never written a book review, amazing right! An awful admission to make, incidentally after watching Hilary Rodham Clinton’s appearance on the Graham Norton Show I shall be reading her new book, What Happened also referred to as I F#cked Up and Excuses, I have a clearer idea.

During her 45minute’s chatting to Graham I learnt the reasons how and why she lost the Presidential election, yes Trump’s disgusting persistent deviousness, lying and dirtier trickery worse than any Watergate misinformation is the reason she’s not President. However she went further pointing a finger of blame at sexism not forgetting the misogyny so rife in American (and British for that matter) politics.

Probably because I’m English I wasn’t aware Trump defeated 14 Republican candidates along his path to the White House, and Clinton won by 3 million votes, so if you get the opportunity to watch Hillary’s interview on the BBC I heartily recommend.

Talking of sexism and misogyny THAT leads me seamlessly into the reasons for deleting my previous post from WordPress!

You may have noticed I deleted my post ‘Can sexism ever be considered funny?’ The beauty of WordPress is I’m permitted to redraft or edit, republish or remove permanently something I dislike, a blog is our platform (to borrow an in vogue overused buzzword) we can do as we wish or see fit. Bearing in mind I’m fine knowing some of my themes aren’t to everyone’s taste, plus lol I don’t care (I do) but after rereading my sexism post I became distinctly unhappy linking the YouTube video rap by Afroman. I answered my own question basically, sexism racism homophobia will never be acceptable and certainly not suitable for making jokes about.

However in my opinion I’d confused myself, sexism has nasty connotations, I’d rather misguidedly made a connection between affectionate good natured observations of women I knew, and sexism in the workplace which is never acceptable!

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Women’s boobs areola and nipples are always fair game!

In my humble opinion, men discussing amongst themselves the joys of a favourite secretary’s ample bosom over-spilling her low cut summer dress, the brief flash of a brown nipple areola, as she leans forward over her desk, will always ALWAYS be acceptable between friends only…….I don’t care what you think they are two totally separate unconnected topics of discussion, boobs tits and ass are fair game 😀 . F#ck I got to get out the habit of mixing my metaphors, makes me sound like a rather dim Sports presenter off the telly!

Returning tooo book reviews and why I’ve never attempted writing my own personal critique, one reason is, other bloggers seem so much more better equipped to write an honest and truthful review my English being so bad and all, and two I don’t read as many books as I really should. However I religiously read posts written by lovely people I Follow and every single day, the lunch hour at work isn’t wasted. I’ll read short stories, political comment and much more besides and not forgetting one of my favourite themes erotic fiction. If the lady author hasn’t the skill to arouse and excite, get me an erection by the end then her story just isn’t any good 😉 , and if she has me throbbing with a bead of precum moistening within my foreskin then she’s pretty much hit the mark, f#ck mixed my metaphors again!

I’ve just this weekend received through my letter box, a book I purchased on-line and delivered via air mail all the many miles from Germany. Why so far? Because I was informed by Waterstone’s Bookshops this book is now out of print and unobtainable from British bookshops (I enquired at several and they all said no). Incidentally I currently have the book sitting alongside my laptop and subject to change I will be reviewing Herge’s ‘TinTin In The Congo’ originally published in 1935, bet you didn’t see that one coming!

Now I’m not taking the p#ss (English phrase) I’ve enjoyed reading TinTin comic strip books ever since I was a young child, but they are now considered not politically correct and certainly unattainable from school reading lists. As for Herge’s African adventure ‘TinTin In The Congo’ even up until just recently you couldn’t wander into a bookshop and choose the title from a children’s bookshelf, no you had to enquire of an assistant, she would point you in the direction out of the Children’s Department and you had to specifically ask at the central information desk.

If the book was in stock another assistant would locate a copy from I guess ‘under the counter’ all because TinTin In The Congo is not on general sale to the public. Then when the assistant finally did present you with a shiny new copy, the un-openable book was sealed within cellophane packaging with a red warning label emblazoned across the front. All this retailing obstruction and silliness is because this particular TinTin adventure, for several reasons both good taste and political, is effectively on a banned book list and further still is now out of print for good. I think?

Now I’m not stupid (arguable) I understand the reasons for withdrawing this adventure from sale, possibly connected to the Islamic terrorist attacks surrounding cartoons of the Prophet Muhammed, and perhaps the publishers got nervous, who knows the real reason but should a children’s cartoon book be banned from sale? Taken out of print? I disagree with censorship of all kinds whether movies or literature, intelligent well balanced adults should be allowed to form their opinions as to a books worth, and certainly without being instructed as to ‘what is’ and ‘what isn’t’ suitable for them to read.

Anyways I have my copy now and to the best of my ability, note the use of the word ability, I will attempt to critique TinTin’s adventures in Central Africa which I fully expect to be little more than a series of near escapes, all good fun. But of course there’s a great deal of political baggage associated to this short cartoon tale, I haven’t read my copy yet so what’s all the fuss about? Racial stereotypes no doubt, Colonial  embarrassment probably, it’s a ‘child of its times’ and no longer relevant apart from an historical document.

But does that mean TinTin In The Congo is a book which should be consigned to a literary trash bin, along with say………. Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf (My Struggle)? Perhaps no one apart from myself is that interested, you all have 🙂 busy lives to lead.

Andrew

Happy Thoughts :)

Original and ©Andrew.

f4e4a427e2a315c58d0fbe1bd7bb04d2Before I begin my little tale a question for you, is the dictionary definition for the word Hooker universally understood? If not then perhaps this explanation helps, 🙂 Typically a woman who engages in sexual activity for payment. 

However, before you whisper to yourself, “Jeeze, as well as watching his neighbour strip in her bedroom, he sees hookers as well? I’m finished with Andrew! 😛 “

Hold ON a minute! IMPORTANTLY THIS TALE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME VISITING HOOKERS! I bumped into one that’s all. Ok are we clear?

Midway through writing a serious response post to a French lady living in England another true tale sifted into my mind, amazing how that happens, a remark or observation in turn prompts you to recall a memory you wished to be misplaced, simply because it’s too painful to dwell on. Or maybe a regrettable event you hoped would be forgotten forever!

Other times, and always when you least expect it, a remark a thought will prompt memories of an amusing true tale that you hoped and assumed you’d remember for the rest of you life, a heart warming personal experience that would make you smile when life is so darn boring and predictable that you truly need your spirits lifted. An incident, such as this tale, pricking my imagination into gear as I relived an anecdote that both impressed my work colleagues and literally had them belly laughing!

The day I was propositioned by a hooker.

Maybe not the most earth shattering News you’ve ever read but ask yourselves have you ever had a prostitute ask you for sex? No? Well I have so the tale’s worth telling again, though rather disturbingly the hooker in question seemed to instinctively recognise a possible paying client just by looking at him. ME!!

Hmm :/ , me thinks there’s visual qualities about myself that I’m unaware of?

However I didn’t avail myself of her services but she sure was an interesting story to tell the lads back at work later that day, and then there’s the question if I hadn’t been so naïve and slow on the uptake I may have followed her, because I’m an impulsive type of guy………….but I didn’t!

So have you ever been propositioned by a hooker? Or worse still been mistaken for one!

Several summer’s ago my employer instructed me to visit the City of London to go pick up 6 small bronze statues from a metal foundry located in ‘rich and trendy’ Chelsea, you’ll recognise the name, a home to wealthy footballers and Russian oligarchs.

A day trip in works time, paid by your employer, is known in the engineering industry as a jolly, all the more exciting because it’s simply a break from the daily grind of work with expenses and food paid for and best of all your colleagues envy you like hell. 😛

So come the morning in question I go to work as usual, I’m gifted a reasonable financial allowance, say my grinning goodbyes for the day and make for Oxford’s railway Station. Buying my ticket I board a London bound train for the hours journey into Paddington Station, a drab place I’ve visited many times throughout my life being as it’s the London link to the whole West of Great Britain. I’ve travelled through Paddington Station as far back as a small child summer holidaying with my Grandparents.

Anyways returning to my story, I join fellow commuters leaving the train carriage, again buy more tickets and make my way to the Underground tube station, I love the London Underground for the sheer atmosphere and history that near seeps from the Victorian décor. Coupled with the fact in many deep bore stations you find yourself standing on platforms which, 60 years previous, would have been populated by London’s citizens sleeping in rows of bunk-beds all sheltering from falling bombs dropped by Nazi heavy bombers. Then after the ok siren had been sounded they’d climb the hundreds of steps to the surface not knowing if they have a home to go to! These citizens rebuilt a Nation! 🙂

After a change I finally exited Sloane Square tube station walking out into the bright sunlight of a late summers morning, crowded with people as Capital cities always are especially London being populated by rude impersonal and not so happy looking faces rushing to wherever they have to go, so very different to sedate Oxford with it’s tourists and University students.

So I exit the tube station by turning right onto the pavement, and walking no more than ten paces I near bumped into a young woman blocking my path! She wasn’t begging for money in fact she looked fashionably dressed, slim my height, mid length straight blonde hair wearing a baggy black leather jacket and sheer black tights (not fishnet!) Denim skirt with a hem stopping midway upon her thighs and definitely not tooo short. As for footwear I cannot honestly remember if she wore heals or below the knee boots?

No matter, the point to my description is the lady didn’t appear like your average lol street hooker, not that I’m acquainted with any mind, but I’ve seen Julie Robert’s in Pretty Woman’ a God awful Movie, to comprehend what a prostitute looks like.

So I’m stopped in my tracks by this lady and remember I’m already feeling extremely disorientated, then with a smile she initiates a friendly conversation speaking with an, yes wait for it, East European accent which I’m straining to understand and I find myself answering questions with a “I’m visiting on a day trip”, “I have plenty of time”. In hindsight I now see the lady was playing a quizzing game and I can assure you in no way shape or form do I look like a policeman. 😀

Then quite bizarrely she starts throwing into our conversation quick fire questions like, “Have you money?”,

“Would you like to come with me?”, and only then with her final,

“I’ll suck!” did the ‘penny finally drop’ and I realised she was a hooker asking if I’d pay for sex!

So Andrew what did you do next? My short and sweet answer is I replied to the young lady a polite but stunned “No”, then I brushed past her and briskly went on my way. As you’d imagine I laughed thinking to myself ‘they’re going to love this story at work’ and they did!

My apologies if you’re disappointed by the ending to my tale, I guess an anti-climax (groan!!) But as I said at the beginning of this post, amusing events such as being propositioned by a hooker are worth remembering because they make you smile and often when you need one. 🙂

😀 And sitting here now I can just imagine her sighing to herself,

“Jeeze this guy’s slow on the uptake!” 

©Andrew

Photographs and videos from a recent evening out.

Please bare with me on this post, this isn’t an essay debating the rights and wrongs of Boxing, this post is little more than sharing photographs and videos taken on a very recent evening out……………oh and with narration of course.

chica corona (5)‘All tits and ass’ ring card holding girl (right) but alas I didn’t photograph the ladies from my evening out, I forgot, :/ too busy lol looking at them. Btw if you hadn’t already guessed, they inform the male audience as to the round number they’re about to watch………………….. I’ll say NO more! 

😀 Notice how I omitted the word Boxing from my Title? Now hold on don’t run, I understand why sport and Boxing are unpopular, but you may wish to see my private photographs from the other evening. I enjoyed myself which is the point to earning money isn’t it, we earn to yes live but also to have fun. But important to me, whilst watching live boxing for the first time ever I sat there questioning whether striking another person in the name of sport is justifiable, also I questioned should the public really be enjoying the experience of watching two people fight which is morally unjustifiable?

So yes I did learn something about myself October 7th, I enjoyed the spectacle but I’m uncomfortable with calling physical violence Sport even though both opponents are in the ring of their own free will. But if you were to ask, I enjoyed the Boxing.

I‘ll add one final personal caveat, boys and girls boxing clubs exist up and down the land and ALWAYS in deprived cities and poverty stricken societies. You’ll not find a club in rural Oxfordshire, however in the East End of London you will, several!

Here’s an example of the type of area we’re talking of, one week after I watched the contest, in exactly the same area but metres from York Hall a girl was sexually assaulted on THREE separate occasions in the space of one hour, and by 6 different men the final assault being a rape. An awful place to live and an awful place for a child to grow up in. Boxing offers a way out!

Boxing clubs exists in deprived parts of cities where no one wishes to live and yet they have to, my justification is a Boxing club will teach children the disciplines of physical exercise, diet and looking after yourself and is that so bad? These kids have little education will not be going to college or University, they have zero prospects and I’m of the opinion these Clubs offer children camaraderie, an interest, a safe place to train meet friends, and be around adults who will teach them the difference between right from wrong. Yes they fight but they live in a big bad world.

Here endeth my lesson 🙂 .

I went to watch my heroine Chantelle Cameron Box, enjoyed myself and lol she is one tough woman yet a lovely personality with it, you might say the ideal girlfriend, pretty no doubt a great lay being so fit and all, and she’ll look after you when the s##t hits the fan! Chantelle won her fight in under 2 minutes, both girls left the ring in good health and one day she’ll retire from the sport a very rich woman…………………. hopefully. We both understand the dangers and yes 2 minutes was short but there were 8 other fights to watch.

11 photos I ‘snapped’ and in chronological order from her entering the hall to fighting in the ring.

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York Hall, in the East End of London

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Chantelle Cameron entering the Hall

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Chantelle ringside
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Chantelle climbing into the ring

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Seconds before the bell sounds
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The boxing contest commences

07-10-2017 Boxing York Hall 02507-10-2017 Boxing York Hall 026

Andrew 🙂

OMG I’m on Google Street View! (Of sorts)

Original ©Andrew

(This post is themed coincidences and isn’t erotic fiction. Btw not everything I write reaches Blog Andrew!)

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Google maps Street View of my house (Photograph courtesy of my Samsung Tablet)

Before I begin this true tale I have an admission, I have to be honest, I’ve known about the existence of these Google Street photos (of my home above) for quite some time, so it’s not as if I’m about to let you in on something that happened yesterday!

Only tonight as I was musing over whether to write a post about my favourite sex position namely The Cowgirl, which could even be titled The Lazy Cowgirl position, but the lady was riding me so energetically that Cowgirl it is! But then I thought writing about Sex positions seems a god awful idea for a post (just wait a week!)

Have you ever gazed at an innocuous unremarkable photograph and thought ‘there’s something more to this picture than meets the eye’, well I experience this feeling EVERY time I gaze at these Google photos of my home, right up until this evening I’d think to myself that white car is relevant to MEE! But why?

Well tonight yet again I was looking at the Google Street photos and these visions of the cowgirl sex position kept flitting across my mind, and all I can say is I’m glad I’m not married or I’d have some serious lying to do because now I know WHY!

The event in question, the Google Pics, takes place early summer 2016!

Let me explain, I’d look at my little home on Google Street time to time, use the widgets and pointers to virtually ‘drive-by’, you’ve all done it, and so strange to see my new double glazing and stone shingle front garden. However when I logged on to the app using my Tablet I couldn’t get the question out of mind,

Who on earth owns that white MINI cabriolet parked

directly outside my house?  

Further still, the MINI must have some connection to myself because it’s parked half on the pavement and my estate is like a ghost Town, no one comes here! I’d look at my digital screens thinking, ‘well none of my neighbours own a MINI’, ‘no one I know is hipster enough to own a cabriolet car’, ‘so who on earth owns it?’

“OH MY GOD!” I shouted, and you may have deduced I’d worked out who the owner was and yes I knew her, she was a lady called Sophie and at the same time Google drove past my house taking photographs, Sophie and I were in bed together. Incidentally the window directly above the MINI is my front bedroom and you can’t see but curtains were drawn,

……….and God’s honest truth, as the Lord is my witness, on my collie dog Holly’s life, at about the same time as these pictures were taken, could have been the same time Sophie was sat on my hips. Yep you read that right, squeezing her tits with both hands as Sophie bounced up and down ‘on me’ like a good girl (age 30!) 🙂 I love Cowgirl sex.

Sophie and I were in bed the moment that photo was taken. For certain

How’s that for a coincidence plus I’m so pleased I’ve finally solved my puzzle! 😛 Because I know for fact whilst Sophie’s MINI was outside my house we were in bed together, and yes to answer my own question there IS a little more to these pictures than first meets the eye! Sophie was a casual lover found on the internet and the fact we’re in bed at the same time as Google drove past is pretty amazing! Amazing to me!

Coincidences, funny old world!

hhhh
‘Cowgirl’ heavenly sex for lazy men.

 

Andrew.

 

 

 

 

 

Boxing thoughts

Original post by Andrew. (Photos and video taken at a live event will appear in a future post.)

Disclaimer. I have a love hate relationship with boxing, on the one hand both thrilling and exciting to watch a fighting sport however I understand completely why non boxing fans describe fighting as brutal in humane, but hold on a second the young men and women who choose to fight as a career do of their own free choice.

A casual pastime of mine is following boxing, I’m a boxing fan through and through, I watch live televised fights on any broadcasting platform I can tune into and follow all the fight news on YouTube, so there you are call this post ‘one fact about me’, you’re either non plussed, bored or perhaps a little annoyed or angry?

You see boxing isn’t liked by everyone, definitely not, it divides not only sporting opinion but also prompts questions of one’s morality, how could someone enjoy watching two people legally punch each other in the head till one drops to the floor concussed, or more likely a points win, not forgetting the two boxers could be just as well be women, and that divides public opinion even further!

Hmm see what I mean, now you’re hopefully a little annoyed you’ve been reading a blogger who on one hand admits he adores all women whatever their age looks and size of tits, yet I’m happy to watch two ladies fight! Now hold on, I ask myself questions like should boxing be banned quite often and more IMPORTANTLY should I enjoy watching two people fight in the name of sporting entertainment!

In my opinion boxers are truly heroic and courageous human beings and I don’t use those two words lightly! Just imagine for a second that two people climb in the ring, boxing gloves to hand and before the bell rings they know by the end of the fight there’s a chance one could be punched in the head suffering concussion, as a man who suffers from the brain disease epilepsy I understand all to well repeated blows to the head can cause permanent brain damage.

I’ll watch a televised fight at home on my TV and enjoy the physicality of a thrilling contest, I guess much the same as the Roman’s did 2000 years ago watching gladiators at the coliseum and the only answer I can give you is a love of brutality lies deep within a human’s DNA, am I wrong? Just take a look at the horrors perpetrated in the World today, human beings are capable of evil acts so why not allow them to channel their aggression into sport?

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Chantelle Cameron, am I permitted to call her a babe?

Chantelle is the lady in white and just look at the expression on her face, neither hate nor anger, she’s using her fighting skills to win, not for the greater good of the sport no she’s trying to win and if she keeps winning boxing bouts then she’ll retire a millionaire and hopefully with her health intact and I for one say good luck to her. I’m a succour for a pretty face lol and have followed her since she missed out on qualifying for the 2016 Olympics, long story but she misheard the bell from another ring and layed an illegal punch on her opponent!

Chantelle on the right and btw she one her fight in fact she’s undefeated……… a tough tough young lady boxing’s a brutal sport.

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Enter July 8th in Glasgow Chantelle faced Bojana Libiszewska………….

C 4 1

Chantelle (below) in the ring with her current Trainer Shane McGuigan (wearing grey)

Now I’ve watched Chantelle Cameron box for real!

©Andrew, though using ‘borrowed media’ for this post only.

Playing a game of Snooker aged…….. 20?

“Happiness is a life choice. We choose to be happy or not.” 

Me as a young man playing snooker on an evening out with friends! 

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:/ I’d love to ask this young man above where he hoped is life would be in 2017. The novel A Christmas Carol comes to mind when I look at this photo, the parts where three spirits whisk Scrooge out into the night air to witness his past, present and future lives, tales of missed opportunities and worse.

Blogging is but a reflection of real life! Write a sexy story then publish on the internet, accompany with a semi nude selfie holding one’s ‘bits & bobs’, and the viewings go through the roof! (The roof for me is probably less than you imagine 🙂 ). Yet write a thoughtful post discussing the moral rights and wrongs of men fighting each other wearing boxing gloves and lol the post sinks without trace! However no real surprises or revelations there, after all the human being is a sexual animal and he loves to read tales of love and fantasy, but as regards boxing, perhaps I won’t return to my day out in London, so here’s a family picture post in its place. 🙂

Btw I’m not in a sad mood, reflective that’s all.

More bad News for you, there’ll be no more nude photos WordPress removed my selfie, you know the photo of me laying on a bed semi nude fondling my balls. However I have NO complaints, WP are extremely accommodating allowing Adult themed material but a Blogger has to take care, too explicit and he’ll find himself in hot water.

Being serious for a second I’ve been dipping into my family photo album once again, and happened upon this image from 20+ years ago, takes me back I can tell you! The back story is a work colleague and dear friend took the picture just as I was about to strike the Snooker ball, and because we’re talking pre digital camera the photo had to then be scanned hence the grainy image!

Hmm, so where have all those in between years gone? Looking at that young man again I’d guess he had hopes dreams and ambitions, that by age 45+ he’d be in good health, have a well paid job, drive a nice car, own his own house, married to a wife with children, and what of present day? Well I’m employed though with a boss no one really likes even though I try my best, I have epilepsy consequently I don’t drive, I own my home, I’m single which upsets me everyday of my life, I don’t have children, and incidentally whilst I’ve been writing this post I’ve just had a thought, perhaps having side stepped fatherhood needs addressing in a future post? 

However on the positive side I’ve led a good clean and blameless life, I’m in reasonable health (could be better but then we all think that), my mum is well, my brother’s happily married with two fantastic boys who are adorable, intelligent, amusing, kind, happy and morally upstanding young men, though growing up all tooo quickly! So as a family we haven’t anything to complain about, by that I mean to say my cousins uncles aunts mother younger sibling and myself seem to led happy contented lives, and no one’s disgraced the family name (yet). But sadly I also shouldn’t forget I’ve lost four wonderful Grandparents along my journey…………a good time to pause Andrew.

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Grandparents

Looking back, I’d love to have achieved more with my life but then don’t we all say that? I’d love to be living with a woman instead of casual sex, which incidentally I’m totally bored with, but here’s a sobering thought I’ve recently been told 😀 to my face, note in jest!

“Andrew be careful what you wish for because………….” And yes I did understand her affirmation. But my answer will always be ‘no man is an island, we all need to love and be loved’ even though relationships are a rocky road to navigate. Yes sex on tap would be fabulous, marriage lol, the trouble is sexual intercourse is neither fun nor fulfilling without love connection and intimacy, I’ve been there, and truthfully I would have much preferred a cup of tea with the various ladies!

So as to finish on an upbeat tone, I’ll be truthful and say I’m happyish, I have a lot to be thankful for, I’m certainly not one to wallow in discontentment or feel sorry for myself, and firmly believe the secret to enjoying the next 20 years is totally in my control. The choice to be happy or not is mine to make! The ball’s in my court so to speak.

So Andrew where will you be in 20 years time? Hmm there’s a question.

Andrew 🙂

Playing with myself dreaming of Amanda! (Erotica)

Adult themes? I don’t think so, we’ve ALL played with our 😉 willies’ and ❤ ‘kitties since the day we can remember.

“Well do you? I do!”

A tale of playing with myself and dreaming of Amanda! (Erotica)

To answer the question posed in a previous post, the story tale or poem either stimulates the mind and the genitals or it doesn’t, the picture adds to the mood. 🙂

Come late evening, tired verging on sleepiness, I’ll stand beside my bed with its duvet corner pulled back exposing soft linen sheets atop a firm mattress, all the while following my well rehearsed undressing routine, pulling my boxer shorts down always the final garment to leave my body. Then perhaps I’ll pause for a second touching stroking the erogenous areas of my body, parts covered throughout my day, feeling the cool room air against my skin before climbing into bed and laying back with a weary sigh! Rested comfortable sleepy I end my routine by pulling the heavy cushioned duvet up and over my body, and after having reached over switching the bed side table light out, that’s how my long night’s slumber begins.

I was going to say ‘lay prostrate’ similar to that of a deceased body lying on the slab, I won’t, though that’s the vision crossing before my eyes and least I’m honest. It’s times like these before sleep time that one contemplates their own mortality with eyelids wide open staring into inky black nothingness.

Then I’ll draw my right arm across my face, forearm covering my closing eyes, with always my left arm down below and open palm cupped around my testicle sack. A beautiful caring position is touching oneself whichever the sex, and now tenderly holding and rolling smooth balls between my finger and thumb I’ll playful fondle myself to sleep. Oh and I forgot to say gently! Only a guy can explain the sudden sharp stab of pain if he squeezes his balls tooo tightly!

And that’s the way I send myself to sleep every night, every single night, and so much more relaxing than counting sheep don’t you think? I’ll let you into another secret, lovingly stroking and caressing those small egg shaped orbs is a comfort, a feeling of all the days anxieties being gently cleansed from my body, I guess much the same way three year olds send themselves to sleep clutching a soft furry teddy to their breast.

I don’t know why I’m having to justify myself lol, they’re my balls for heavens sake and I love them!!!

Does anyone else send themselves to sleep like this, hands cupping their balls? Fingers inside their warm kitty? Hmm lol don’t answer!

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However once in a while, on an evening such as this, I’ll get a hard on whilst picturing our 50 year old secretary from work, a bright vision of sensuality emblazoned against invisible blackness, and let’s name her Amanda! Always at times like this Amanda is undressed to her bra and panties, isn’t the word panties deliciously sexy, rolling of the tongue like honey from the back of a warm metal spoon!

Closing my eyes tight shut, concentrating hard, Amanda’s hands now reach behind her back, dextrous fingers releasing the clip of her bra strap to reveal large milky coloured breasts, sagging slightly and many years since they dripped their final bead of nectar from teats sucked a thousand times. In my dreams Amanda always has drooping pendulous boobs b’cause she’s a mature lady and that’s the way I love her.

Then gazing longingly into my eyes Amanda drops her delicate lingerie to one side giving a soft whisper moments later as it hits the floor. Smiling coyly she places her two hands on her hips, slips two thumbs beneath the elasticated hem of white cotton knickers, so sexy and virginal, before arching her body forward and pulling the sexy garment downwards, its hem riding atop the curve of her hips, its soft fabric skimming down smooth thighs and resting on her ankles. Almost a virgin but not quite!

Standing upright again and never once breaking her gaze from my eyes, Amanda’s pussy is always bald in my dream the slit of her lips quite visible, and because she’s birthed two daughters in her lifetime, the ragged edges of soft labia resembling a slightly parted genital curtain, and best of all revealing a shocking pink vagina contrasting against her milky white skin.

Jeeze now I’ve got a hard on!

But I’m not gonna masturbate, nope I’m not in the right frame of mind to enjoy pleasuring myself! Feeling far tooo anxious after the day I’ve had.

And as I sit here typing, I wonder if she still has a young girl’s mop of pubic hair? Yes she’s an older woman yet still able to look handsome wearing shoulder length hair, unusual for the more mature ladies? However Amanda dyes hers brunette these days, and I know she does b’cause time to time I see the first millimetres of natural grey coloured growth. The comedienne Jenny Éclair said hair down below is the first thing a lady loses after her menopause? Smooth as a babies bottom she said hers was!  

Amanda, not a stitch of clothing draped upon her 50 years old pear shape figure, looking gorgeous, and getting me evermore excited as I lay there picturing this middle aged nude before my eyes. Her legs now slightly further apart, an index finger pressed between parted labia lips, is gently circling and pulling at her clitoral skin making her breath quicken panting even.

Incidentally a question to the older woman who lol isn’t going to answer but hey my story, the waves of genital pleasure a woman experiences at age 50! Are they just as awesome and powerful as when she was 17 or is the kitty beginning to tire?

Where was I? Oh yes laying underneath my warm cosy duvet with the bedroom lights out, my eyes tightly closed imagining an older woman called Amanda wanking herself in my nightdream, me with one forearm resting atop my forehead, and the other tightly holding my ‘sack’ caressing fondling my two balls.

Then as my excitement ever quickens the tip of my penis begins to twitch and tingle releasing beads of precum, a males very own wetness which moistens within my foreskin and NOW feeling down right dirty and horny!! Genitals excited into a life of their own, I release the hold on my testicles instinctively curling fingers round the warm sensitive skin of my hardness, my gentle grip pushing upwards then tugging down again. Then with knuckles tensing, gripping my shaft more firmly, I start to wank harder and quicker and quicker still, so making me pant and gulp for more fresh night air! 

But I know these warm and gorgeous pleasurable sensations emanating from the tops of my thighs, around my whole groin, won’t last forever, and now with my body still and motionless except for the vigorous energy applied from my hand, I jerk my hand back and forth, my clenched fingers kissing the rim of my bellend now so sensitive it makes my hips raise, and all the while gazing deep into Amanda’s wet vulva!! 

Jesus I know I’m gonna cum soon and this beautiful relaxing pleasure won’t last much longer, with that I’ll whip back my duvet, never once slowing the work from my hand, then feeling the semen palpably rise from my balls, and whispering a “omg I’m gonna cum soon”, gazing at a vision of Amanda’s open pussy, her thighs stretched wide apart I’ll imagine her naked body for a few seconds more! ‘Oh I so want to feel myself deep inside her vagina’ I say to myself, a feeling that makes the tip of my penis throb and buck as I try to capture those pleasurable seconds before orgasm. Then with one final jerk of my wrist, my back arches toward the ceiling, and my groin explosively convulses sending a stream of warm sticky cum across my stomach! 

“God I needed that!”

Then as my breathing slows and as the shaft of my penis goes limp and soft, after my brief intimate moment of sexual pleasure subsides, only then does it finally dawn on me,

“Damn I’m gonna have to go and shower now……………why the hell did I have to cum?”

 

MOPLKRM_2 (1)
Do you check your testicles for lumps and bumps? I check mine.

 

🙂 By Andrew.

Chantelle Cameron Boxes tonight in London, and I’ll be there!

Original ©Andrew

A message to any ladies reading I have good news and bad news, I’m afraid to say a Sport’s post will appear some time soon and I know that sounds awful! 😦 I bet you didn’t see that one coming, I mean Andrew a fan of the noble art of Boxing? Well I am and tonight this evening October 7th I’ll be ring side watching a live Boxing Match in London, that’s the bad news! The good news is the Boxer I’m going to watch is a woman!

So as you’re reading this I’ll beee …….hmm :/ ……probably in Bethnal Green!

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My ticket!

Three boxing quotations, three differing points of view!

“Ring fighting was hurting somebody else, deliberately, and particularly when it was not necessary. Two men who have nothing against each other get in a ring and try to hurt each other, to provide vicarious fear for people with less guts than themselves. And to cover it up they called it sports and gambled on it.” James Jones, From Here to Eternity

“The only limitations one has are the ones they place on themselves.” –  Muhammad Ali

“Boxers, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.” – Wayne Kelly

And rather embarrassingly one of my own, rather arrogant of me to place myself aside three great men and their quotations……….. but hey my blog.

“With a passion you either love boxing or you hate boxing, it divides opinion like no other Sport, with boxing there is no between.” 🙂 Only an opinion.

A sensible post for you this evening, a change of direction and most definitely not JFF.

I have a ticket to watch my sporting heroine, a young lady by the name of Chantelle Cameron ‘fight’ live and I’m extremely excited, 🙂 Chantelle is an English professional Boxer and October 7th I’m going to watch her Box in person at York Hall, Bethnal Green, East London. Incidentally the Kray twins Boxed there as youngsters!

Two thoughts as regard sports writing on WordPress, now I understand ‘Sports Blogs’ aren’t for everyone which is absolutely fine so I guess this post could be written just for me, so to offset the subject matter I’ll be sharing photos of my day spent in London also.

Please keep in mind 🙂 I’m going to watch Chantelle fight as a member of the audience consequently my post will be written from FIRST HAND experience as always, recall a selection of my posts and you’ll understand I only ever write from having been present at the time of an event, or something’s personally happened to me whether that be watching gorgeous Helen strip down to her ‘boobs’, or perhaps my observations of seeing pregnant women wearing sexy maxi dresses. Like it or not I’m always ‘there and there abouts’ within a post and this has always been very important to me.

Now I bet you didn’t see a Boxing Post coming!

I’ve attached a photo of Chantelle wearing a white boxing bra taken earlier in 2017 whilst fighting an E. European opponent in the City of Glasgow. Irrespective of the fact she doesn’t wear a bra (you know me I’m a boob man 😀 ) look deeply into Chantelle’s eyes and you’ll see a picture of concentration and naked aggression as she lands a punch on her opponent’s cheek, quite a stunning photograph! And before you say ‘NO’ this is a brutally despicable photo, yes I DO understand physically inflicting pain on another human being in the name of sport is morally indefensible :/ however I may answer you by saying boxing is liitle different to watching Roman Gladiators fight 2000 years ago?

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Chantelle (left)

I’m aware this is a rather concise post this evening that’s because my work hours have changed and I’m a little tired, ahh 🙂 so I’ll finish by saying thank you to those who’ve taken the time to read a post on Blog Andrew.

Can I ask what do you think of me adding yet another different theme to my Blog?

Andrew 🙂 (Erotica next, and Boxing posts are in the pipeline but you know me the order they’re published is subject to change.)

Erotica for boys? Erotica for Girls?

This isn’t an erotic short story though one follows later 🙂

Yay aren’t you the lucky readers I’ve just this moment completed another hopefully sexy story, or as I like to refer to them, Erotica! Ok perhaps I’m aiming tooo high calling my tales erotica then again, Anita enjoyed my gay sex story so much she re blogged and sixty people liked, so perhaps I can write a little ANYWAY one follows sooon and good or bad it’s for you to decide. 🙂

When I came to the point of downloading some tasteful Google images to accompany my tale, and we all like to add photos breaking copyright or not. Like I said I Googled images with differing search phrases then I got to wondering is my tale, or erotica in general, written for boys or for girls? Does the sex of my photos denote the sex of reader? I haven’t any idea that’s why I’m asking myself the question. I’d guess the litmus test is similar to in the movies, if the script and story isn’t great then no matter how many action scenes, neither boys or girls will like and enjoy!

But returning to my question, is the erotic fiction and sexy fantasy stories written by my favourite bloggers read by, for fear of labouring a point! Do their sexy tales and poems excite men or do they arouse women or are they enjoyed by both sexes straight or gay? One thing is for sure, it doesn’t actually matter as long as their stories are enjoyed and incidentally these authors are fabulous………… many a time they’ll give me an erection, a tingle on the tip of my penis, or perhaps a little bucking producing a bead of precum! Either way one hell of a talent to possess, I mean the ability to make a guy hard!!

So there you are Friday evening thoughts of erotic fiction. As regards my tale, hopefully it’s ok you decide, and I’m going to ‘publish’ sooon, however I’m undecided as to using sexy photos of men or sexy photos of women?…………..I could post them twice all in the name of scientific research, or is that getting above myself!

For boys girls by or gay? Doesn’t matter as long as the tales is an enoyable read. 🙂

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Off to the boxing tomorrow, Andrew.

 

Fun Fair pt 2 – My videos

The louder you scream the faster you go!

Peter Kay writer of Phoenix Nights.

(I made a ‘rather unfortunate’ remark on my previous post pointing out not all Bloggers are happy with YouTube videos appearing on WordPress, my apologies if you thought me arrogant but the use of video is an interesting discussion point. :/ You see a while ago I read a Post where this very nice Blogger made clear WordPress is for writers but not a suitable place for YouTube videos, and they were of course ABSOLUTELY correct, writers! As for myself I’m a serial repeat offender 😀 when we’re talking video but I don’t think sharing hurts once in a while and there’s always a context. Either way my remark was out of place.)

So with alternative media in mind here’s my Oxford St. Giles Fun Fair videos from September 2017, all linked from my YouTube Channel 🙂 and hopefully they complement my previous Fun Fair post ‘please click here’. TY

Andrew 🙂

St. Giles Fair, Oxford Sept 2017

All photographs ©Andrew (I doubt copyright applies but they’re all photographed by me.)

“The louder you scream the faster you go!”

Peter Kay writer of Phoenix Nights.

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Early September the travelling Fairground camped it’s metaphorical wagons right bang in the centre of historic Oxford City for the annual St. Giles Fair! Now I know some of you aren’t great fans of YouTube videos appearing on Blogs and I understand why, this is a tiny backwater of the internet reserved for writers, so yes I understand. 

Having said that they appear another day.

After finishing work I walked through the sleeping Fun Fair around 6pm as the owners were just beginning to prepare their rides for the evening’s exciting entertainment, and rather than hang around in the rain I carried on walking right through, Galaxy Tablet in my rucksack, making for the Odeon cinema where I watched the excellent Dunkirk starring Tom Hardy, and yes ladies even if I say it myself he is gorgeous!

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Wow there’s people in those cars!

Then two hours later I stepped out of the cinema into driving rain and daylight had been transformed into pitch black night, yet all around shone thousands of vibrant coloured lights along with excited human screams and VERY loud pop music………the Fun Fair had arrived in Oxford with a Bang!

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Galloping horses, this Fairground ride has it’s beginnings 200 years ago, when steam powered traction engines would turn the wheels through use of belts and pulleys. How do I know this? I’ve visited Dorset steam rallies and seen them with my own eyes.

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So I took my Tablet from my rucksack, signed in as you do, and throughout the next hour I took many photos also short videos all uploaded onto my YouTube Channel! And no I lol didn’t go on any rides, no, my neurosurgeon told me never to and I’m certainly not going to argue with a medical consultant brain surgeon………made a good excuse anyway.

Haha that’s gotten you curious, perhaps my fixation with ladies breasts is a medical condition after all. 😛

Btw I wasn’t half worried that my Tablet would be stolen from my hands, things I do for WordPress haha.

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Stalls with their cuddly toy animal prizes, I can’t help wondering if they’ve passed European tests for fire safety? :/ Btw I’m not attempting to be funny!

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The rifle games amuse me, people take aim at an object standing less than two metres away yet they cannot hit the target! You don’t think the owners have bent the rifle barrels by any chance? 

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St. Giles Fair is a famous and historic annual festival lasting two evenings, then on the Wednesday morning as I walk through the city centre at 7am every resemblance of the previous evenings Fairground rides had upped and gone, the owners had worked right through the night clearing up and all the stalls rides and lorries had disappeared, the wagons had upped sticks and left town!

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Oh yes I said famous and historic! The Fair has been coming to Oxford for hundreds of years, and I’ve worked with old timers who remember boxing booths, where local hard men could pay to take on the travelling fighter in I guess a boxing ring, but alas Health and Safety legislation has put a stop to those fun and games.

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As an engineer by trade I can’t help thinking as I gaze at these human beings spinning across the nights sky, how safe are these rides really? Every couple of evenings they’re stripped down taken apart, then screwed back together in another Town! :/ Like I said I’m an engineer employed in a structural materials Group looking into metal fatigue in Rolls Royce aero engines, not the ideal man to be stood watching people enjoying themselves trying to wipe the many what ifs from my consciousness!

I cannot help it, happens all the time, the price of being a qualified engineer? Lol in the past I’ve worked with the wing material specimens from the original Airbus planes! 

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In the background you’ll see the sandstone high walls and buildings of St. Johns College, very famous and 800 years old and currently being used as a film set, you won’t believe the amount of movies and TV dramas you’ve watched where Oxford College’s have appeared Harry Potter being one of them. So look out for the buildings laying further behind the Fair rides.

And of course where would any Fun Fair be without it’s dodgem cars? Fabulous 🙂

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Enough chatter lol, these are my photos and for those of you who do enjoy YouTube videos they will appear on a forthcoming post in a few days time 🙂 Sorry.

Ahh nearly forgot, here’s B&W photos from St. Giles Fair taken decades past, straw boaters white blouses and long heavy black skirts, don’s wives?

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131 – 50 Questions you’ve Never been asked Tag

©Andrew (I had fun with this one! 131 Posts)

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The then British Prime Minister David Cameron eating in my local Indian Restaurant!

Glancing through the list that is My Blog Posts I see it’s six month since I challenged myself to a Tag quiz list. Incidentally I haven’t been Tagged but I did see 50 Questions on a lady’s Blog and my first thought was wow aren’t they quirky interesting questions? Real discussion points you’re neither never going to be asked or more importantly you never enquire of yourself.

Did you know there’s been scientific research carried out, and APPARENTLY the most popular theme for a Post IS you’ve guessed, quiz Tags! True, and I have to agree, and I’d go further it doesn’t really matter what the quiz is about.

(Yikes I’ve just had a thought, hopefully :/ mine is ok?) 

1. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CANDLE SCENT? Non perfumed. Whenever I’ve been to a Church Service I’ve never enjoyed the scent they give off!

2. WHAT FEMALE CELEBRITY DO YOU WISH WAS YOUR SISTER? None, I couldn’t imagine anything worse, but growing up I always thought having a big sister would be nice.

3. WHAT MALE CELEBRITY DO YOU WISH WAS YOUR BROTHER? None, I couldn’t imagine anything worse, I’m quite content having a younger brother ❤

4. HOW OLD DO YOU THINK YOU’LL BE WHEN YOU GET MARRIED? Crikey! I have a strong sense I’ll never get married but I’d love to live with a partner. Do I suffer from a fear of commitment?

5. DO YOU KNOW A HOARDER? Me! And I hate myself for amassing ‘stuff” I neither need or require. I’d love to live in one of those little Japanese houses and leave clutter behind!

6. CAN YOU DO A SPLIT? You must be frigging joking! 😀

7. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LEARNT HOW TO RIDE A BIKE? Possibly 7? But I remember my Dad running behind holding the saddle pushing.

8. HOW MANY OCEANS HAVE YOU SWAM IN? Of the 6 only 1, the Atlantic.

9. HOW MANY COUNTRIES HAVE YOU BEEN TO? Ireland, France, Italy for a day, Greek Islands. Hmm :/ not many is it!

10. IS ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY IN THE ARMY? Hmm nope, except my two Grandfather’s fought in WW2, 3 Great Grandfathers fought in WW1, 1 Great Grandfather in the Boer War, Orange River Colony.

11. WHAT WOULD YOU NAME YOUR DAUGHTER IF YOU HAVE ONE? Hmm none, though I’ve always like a Sophie perhaps because I went out with a Sophie.

12. WHAT WOULD YOU NAME YOUR SON IF YOU HAD ONE? Hmm not once in my life have I given this any thought? One HELL of a responsibility to name a child.

13. WHAT’S THE WORST GRADE YOU GOT ON A TEST? Ungraded! At age14, after 1 year’s studying I failed Religious Education. Consequently I got into a LOT of trouble.

14. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD? A children’s Show named Blue Peter, only because the female Presenter 😉 wore tight tee shirts.

15. WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS ON HALLOWEEN WHEN YOU WERE EIGHT? Halloween isn’t such a big deal in the UK as it is in America.

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A lady called Jen. (Blog relationships pt2/2)

……………………. continued from Blog relationship pt1/2.

9e4c11acc7b31eab9fa6f52abddc54efSo rather nervously I agreed to meet her in person, and note there was no pressure on either side, then one sunny Saturday afternoon in August I travelled by train to a Town with no name in central England and all I can say is as the platform came into view for two pins I would have stayed on the train until the next stop then gone straight home again!

I didn’t and to say I was apprehensive stepping onto that platform is a given, but I needn’t have worried because on recognising me Jen walked straight up and we hugged tightly and rather intimately for two strangers who’d NEVER spoken to each other before! So very strange in hindsight and the affection still makes me laugh to this day. Now to answering a question I’m hoping any readers are asking themselves namely did we get along, did we like each other and what happened next?

Well yes the hug was rather intimate for strangers, there was a natural unspoken warmth between us and if you’d like to know yes we hit it off within seconds. She was ever the woman I’d been reading about for all these past months and Jen was exactly as I imagined her to be, her personality, sense of humour, kindness were exactly the same as shone through her blog posts and I have a feeling she understood me more than I give her credit for, and all simply because we were very honest on WordPress.

However true love never blossomed, in fact after several minutes of chatting we soon realised this would only ever be friendship but that didn’t matter, neither needed to say it we just knew 😦 , Jen was attractive (I will say no more except 😉 big and she wouldn’t mind me saying) and a lovely lady but you either know there’s a spark of love or there isn’t but that’s ok lol I didn’t travel all that way trying to find a wife. Looking back in hindsight I understand we’d only ever be on-line friends but you never know unless you meet do you, we met as friends more out of curiosity than romantic attraction and had a fun day.

So after a hug and several minutes chatting on the platform, I turned around and got back on the train! Lolol no no NO! Couldn’t resist that!

With proper introductions exchanged, Jen took my hand in hers and we walked out of the station gates and at her suggestion breathlessly strode up a rather steep hill making for a cafeteria to have coffee together. And yet again walking hand in hand with a complete stranger appeared very natural there was a warmth ease and friendly naturalness about our conversation which never left us for the rest of the day, in truth we chatted endlessly and only because we already knew each other so well just through reading eithers blog posts and comments then moving to private email, note for four months or so.

On entering the café Jen sat by the window I bought two coffees paying at the counter, then on joining her at the chosen table I noticed she was texting on her Smart phone sporting a broad smile across her face! When she looked up and obviously reading my quizzical expression she explained she’d been texting her best friend to say everything was fine safe and ok, then for the next twenty minutes or so in between sips of coffee we reminisced about past blog conversations, talked of our families, occupations and I know it sounds rather cheesy but we quite hit it off at one point laughing as she rather tooo loudly said “well you do have rather a nice cock! (I’d seen her breasts in a post btw!)

However perhaps I’m reading to much into WordPress’s importance when meeting a blogger, perhaps our meeting could equally have gone the other way irrespective of we were friendly bloggers, perhaps meeting a blog friend can quite as easily go the other direction beginning with awkward silences and not really taking to each other.

Who knows!

Coffees drunk, Jen suggested buying prepared food in an adjoining Delicatessen then driving out into the countryside to eat together and that’s just what happened! We bought food and bottles of drink which I lol insisted paying for and she later thanked me for in that evening’s email (nice guy me! 🙂 ) Then we walked to her car, and she drove us out of Town following a road ending at a car park situated in rather beautiful countryside. On locking the car I followed Jen along a path through a meadow coming to an abrupt stop in front of a canal! I shan’t bore you with any further detail other than we sat by the water one sunny warm afternoon and continued to chat about our lives……….. that we became SO personal is purely down to WordPress blogging commenting and replying.

Well food eaten and a walk in the sun, we decided to finish for the afternoon and Jen drove me back to the station, walked me to the platform where we both waited for my train, then as my Oxford bound train came into view we two hugged even more tightly than first previous (a genuine loving bear hug) 🙂 To this day I’ve never forgotten the feel of her bra strap as my arms were round her and I as we pulled apart, my fingers brushed the sides of her bra cups, I felt the lacy material beneath her light top, and you have to believe me when I say touching her bra was by sheer accident and only because I was a little overcome with emotion, honest! Later that evening I emailed Jen to apologise and she replied with,

“I smiled and thought to myself that’s cheeky! 😀 but I didn’t mind in the slightest”. Don’t you think that’s sweet? I do.

If you recall at the beginning of my ‘blog relationships’ tale, we both felt an empathy and friendliness upon first meeting, however we both instinctively understood there wouldn’t be any wedding bells lol! You just know don’t you. 🙂 But that’s ok, yes we were lonely and single adults but in hindsight I have a feeling we both really wanted to meet out of curiosity, I’m a firm believer if you meet someone as a friend then that’s all you’ll ever be is friends.

boy-cute-girl-goodbye-kiss-Favim.com-304046So now you’re wondering what happened next? For several weeks or so after we emailed everyday, both continued to post on WordPress and then as happens real life get’s in the way, then our emailing became less frequent until stopping completely the last time being exchanging Christmas Greetings. Jen and I never met in person again, I live in Oxford she in Central England which is a long train journey away, so as happens, time passes and we lost touch, that’s life there’s no malice or specific reason we stopped. Is there any point to meeting again if we both hoped for romance, if I’d lived closer would we have met in person again? I doubt it, Jen was adorably a lady on a mission, a born romantic and I’d guess she’s still internet dating hoping to find and meet her soul mate. I do so hope she’s found the love she so craves.

One final thought.

Hypothetically if you were to ask me is there a point to lengthy email relationships I’d have to answer of course yes! I could be wrong but I have the impression Natalie’s friendship was a meeting of two minds and an intellectual friendship, who knows? With myself our four casual emailing friendships were little more than chatting about our lives friends family work and relationships having a laugh and yes E did send me photos of her tits on my birthday. Incidentally with three of the four ladies, the emailing’s ended I’ve deleted every single message and photo, except C’s. The nicest thing women have said to me on WP is I make them laugh. Make’s me happy knowing that trouble is why am I still single?

So yes of course there is a point, relationships of any kind are unpredictable and fun also tiring and requiring dedication, so yes of course email but perhaps keep in mind how they’re likely to finish, perhaps be prepared for an end game where neither person feels the other’s let them down emotionally and certainly don’t end a friendship under a dark cloud with one person deleting all traces of you from their blog. I don’t think there’s any need for drama, it seems so sad people end up feeling hurt for no other reason than a simple misunderstanding. Perhaps stick to making each other laugh, E and I had a blast but we also tried to help each other with our own real relationship problems, enough said.

Will I exchange email addresses with a lady blogger again? No, only because trying to express myself through a blog post is bloody difficult and deeply problematic enough, four is enough, however I’m NOT saying ‘don’t you do it’ because one day you may share a picnic with your own blog friend by a canal in the sun.

©Andrew

Introduction to ‘A Lady Called Jen’

A fun prelude post 🙂

Hopefully you’ll have read ’email friendships with other bloggers Part 1 if not here’s the link part 2 follows directly after this post.

Jen the lady blogger I met in person and the tale of our day together follows in part 2.

NOT that boobs are important to my tale 😀 but you may wish to know I lightly stroked Jen’s bra by accident! You see after our farewell embrace on the train platform, as our two body’s separated, as my arms pulled away from hugging her, my fingers brushed the sides of her bra cups feeling the lacy fabric beneath. You see I’d fallen for Jen :/ but alas she hadn’t fallen for me anyways I’d become a little emotional at the station and I guess that’s why I unintentionally ‘touched her’ 😉 .

Not to worry we both laughed afterwards, in fact she reminded me of this lady below 😉

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‘Big and mature’ just how I like my women!

Andrew (I do try my best with these posts 😀 )

 

Email friendships with other bloggers (pt1/2)


This is a response post of sorts to arwenaragornstar plus a personal tale of my own. (Whenever I glance at the lady’s web address my first thought is arenarapornstar, true!)

I follow many different bloggers for many differing reasons but always because their blog posts capture my imagination, creative writers like arwenaragornstar. Well after reading the lady’s fascinating post Connections she inspired me to give my own thoughts on whether corresponding with WP bloggers by email is a good idea or not, 🙂 yes of course it is but in my opinion doing so should be considered carefully.

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I give no confidences away because as you can read in Natalie’s ‘connections’ whilst a little drunk she wrote an email she shouldn’t have or should she have? A blog friend took it badly, over dramatically even, so perhaps it’s worth keeping in mind a ‘blog friendship’ will always end sometime so being prepared might be an idea. Like many people I have emailed bloggers and sooner or later through no ones fault friendships will ‘fizzle out’, run their natural course or possibly egos and feelings could get hurt? Which seems such a shame when we’re here just for fun. 🙂

I’ve consensually emailed 4 lady bloggers on WordPress (by consensual I mean I’m not a frigging stalker and we’re talking two year timespan) and all innocently came about through commenting and replying to each other’s posts before then moving to private email. Corresponding with Blogger P a casual friend ended when she got married! Blogger E again a casual friend ended when she finished WP. Time to time Blogger C and myself email where we chat about family and relationships, and finally with a lady blogger we’ll call Jen we met in person. 

I guess if there is a point to be made our friendships were very warm friendly and private, yes three have ended but I’m SO pleased no feelings have been hurt. However for perhaps interesting reasons to you? I’ve decided there’ll be no fifth simply because you have to be aware writing takes time and dedication, misunderstandings can occur and it’s easy to feel I’d offended her in some way or she’d offended me when neither is true! 😮 Oh and keep in mind they could get married!

Btw I’m NOT saying don’t penpal with a blogger just because I say so!……….DO email if you want, because you may never know where a written relationship will take you, just realise they’ll end one day? And I’ve just this second discovered penpal isn’t known in WordPress’s spellcheck, now ain’t that ‘frigging’ sad!

My greatest pleasure on WordPress, second to posting, is interacting with other Bloggers and yes on four occasions I’ve privately emailed back and forth with a lady, but you’ll have to wait a day or so for tale where I met with a lady blogger in person, and all through getting to know each other here on WordPress. I’ve never told you? Oh well now I have, however just be aware I will only be sharing sketchy detail in the interest of confidentiality secrecy and privacy.

Going that extra step and actually physically meeting with another blogger is rather daunting, just like a first date, and I would advise saying yes is a decision not to be taken lightly, lol they may be a stalker a frigging psychopath or absolutely lovely! However in the story I’m about to share we did in fact meet and she was adorably sweet kind and lovely.

After posting and commenting on a lady (we will name her Jen) blog posts for many months or so gave me a good idea as to the personality values and honesty of the lady I was to meet up with and she was exactly how I’d imagined even nicer! Incidentally if you’ve both shared photographs even perhaps the occasional butt photo as I’ve been known to then again, then you already share a trust and have a good idea if she has a similar sense of humour and outlook on life. Who wants to meet someone who takes themselves tooo seriously?

But you should know we shared several common similarities, we were both over forty, single, very lonely and yes both open to a friendship blossoming into something a whole lot more serious and I DON’T mean sex! Neither Jen or myself were players, far to honest for any of that stupidity, nope we were little more than two lonely singletons meeting for the first time hoping for a spark, a connection and certainly nothing as shallow as casual sex.

To be honest I did feel rather sad reading Jen’s blog posts of an evening because the lady met with men chosen from internet dating websites and she had some real horror stories to tell me! Ranging from the guy who didn’t look anything like his profile photographs, also a scammer who became angry on the phone when she didn’t agree to sending him money, anyways that’s enough personal detail.

So you may wish to stop here after reading my personal thoughts in response to ‘connections’ but hold on, my day trip tale to meet Jen follows in a couple of days and hopefully you’ll enjoy reading a true brief encounter! 🙂

Andrew

 

My new avatar!

Me 2 01026/09/2017 – Update, I’ve decided to go back to my 14 month old profile picture because I prefer looking at the painting rather than a half me photograph and I’m rather attached to it, two lover’s seated on a park bench for over one year is a long time! I like it and my 🙂 eclectic, silly posts are all that really matters. A fair reason? My apologies if you’re a little annoyed.

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Sunday evening Blog thoughts (serious)

Hopefully a little offensive 🙂bouncing_boobs_288x1921

Totally off the cuff, 24/09/2017 @ 23:46 precisely! And not once did I talk about one of the loves of my life namely ladies tits, the droopier they are the better, it means you can fit all the more in your mouth! Aww damn!

I suffer from a syndrome that doesn’t exist and I’ve just this moment dreamt up called ‘This is my final ever post for WordPress’ err syndrome!! You see I’m not a poet, I’m not a book reviewer, I don’t write sexy tales swirling round white girly imaginations about them holidaying in deepest darkest Africa and being captured by a tribe of spear throwing men wearing tiger skin underpants, then taking the slip of a girl to their mud hut in the jungle and raping her any way they can! Now hold on!!!

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Remy the Rat (jff)

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Remy

My brother has a rat story even more horrific than any Halloween Movie and probably the worst nightmare any guy could imagine dreaming! I’ve been speaking to him on the phone earlier today and it turns the family has a new pet along with the rabbits and chickens, come to think of it they’re the reason my brother now has a rat problem! Chickens and rabbits are quite tasty.Read More »

Hedgehogs for a Nigerian blogger by the name of Esther (and anyone else :) )

A follow up to my butterflies-we-have-4-species-in-our-garden

A shout-out post for you this evening and you know how I love interacting with bloggers here on WordPress 🙂 A lady by the name of Esther who Blogs from Nigeria commented telling me she enjoyed seeing my garden butterfly photos, and do you know what even after two years ‘sharing’ photographs on my Blog Andrew, knowing people living all those miles away in Africa (or anywhere!) are reading my personal thoughts published on a website never ceases to amaze me! Please know I truly never take your feedback for granted and thank you 🙂 ❤

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Returning to my back garden butterfly post linked above, the one where I’d promised to

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Peeing in the shower (JFF & NOT explicit)

Important message.
This afternoon I’ve been chatting with my fabulous 9 year old nephew and he tells me ‘The Emoji Move: Express Yourself’ is “absolute pants!” Incidentally Rotten Tomatoes approved tomatometer critics give this movie a 10% positive review, so lol you’ve been duly warned 😀

Wet-beach-men-guys-in-gear-naked-ass-jocks-shower-bath-kissing-pool-muscle-speedo- gym-gay-sex-peeing-water-sports-gif-locker-room-piss-Oh yes my post Peeing in the shower! Where shall we begin and note there’s NO imagery this is just for fun!

I haven’t published a JFF post for a while, plus I’m feeling a little hmm :/ , so I thought why not write something hopefully ‘entertaining’ yet at the same time make a serious point.

Now hold on before you leave me, 🙂 I know I’m prone to writing ‘unusually themed’ posts, an understatement if ever there was one, but believe me or not ‘Peeing in the shower’ is a serious topic for discussion amongst politicians and public health officials across many Countries, especially if they have water shortage problems.

So with water conservation in mind I thought why not discuss, try and convince you, plus share a few photographs of men taking showers I found along the way, makes a welcome change from seeing naked women. 🙂

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Free Hugs from Uni Students?

(For the lady in Nigeria I haven’t forgotten the hedgehog photos, they’re coming sooon 🙂 )

An observational thoughtful post this evening 🙂 Perhaps I’m a World-weary cynic for definite? Or one of life’s realists? You decide 🙂 (Btw if you want to know what Savile looks like you’ll have to Google his image.)

free-hugs-boy-girl-hugs-love-hug-black-and-white-cute-adorable-beautiful-pretty-smile-aUp until very recently University students in my home City used to give free hugs.

Let me elaborate I give no secrets away when I reveal I live in Oxford UK, a year on year City of eternal youth and I guess this beacon city of high academia has been like this for nigh on 800 years. Come early September, the start of Michaelmas term time and Oxford is awash with a new intake of eager excited fresh faced youngsters, suitably named Fresher’s. A term I’m sure those of you who’ve been to Uni will be well aware of.

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YES PLEASE!

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Butterflies go orgasmic over flowering Buddleia nectar!

All photographs and video were taken by myself, who knows how media ownership works on WordPress not me? 🙂

A post featuring my mother’s very own wildlife eco system, not Bumblebees for a change but four species of butterflies which regularly visited her garden late August 2017.

I’ve learnt two natural history lessons this past summer, first it’s extremely important to grow pollinating flowers in your garden 🙂 and secondly it seems Butterflies GO CRAZY FOR purple flowering Buddleia’s! 

Until researching this post I hadn’t really appreciated the beauty of these amazing bugs fluttering from flower to flower in my mother’s rear garden, not until I looked close up upon the vibrant colours on their wings had I realised we have amazing creatures on our own doorsteps.

Quite literally step outside her conservatory door and my mother has bees butterflies birds feeding upon bugs only because she grows pollenating flowers in her garden, and as you’ll see from my photos butterflies adore buddleia flowers in fact as I wandered round the lawn with my camera four different native English species couldn’t leave the bush alone!

Along with butterflies mum has hedgehogs visiting her garden nine o’clock most evenings and during the summer months she’ll put a saucer of water and dried mealworms on the concrete patio. To begin with only one hedgehog would visit to munch on the dry worms then scurry back across the lawn, through a hole under the fence and into a hedgehog house in a neighbours garden. But best of all earlier this Spring an adult and two babies would turn up for supper every evening!

Thank you WordPress because if I hadn’t had the ‘imagination’ to write this post I wouldn’t have given the colours and patterns on their wings a second look, in fact every summer I rarely give notice these beautiful creatures.

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Red Admiral

Red Admiral: The Red Admiral is a frequent visitor to British gardens and is one of our most well-known butterflies, unmistakable with velvety black wings intersected by striking red bands. Primarily a migrant to our shores, although sightings of individuals and immature stages in the first few months of the year, mean the Red Admiral is now considered resident in the British Isles ‘topped up’ every year with migrants arriving in May and June that originate in central Europe. However unfortunately, most individuals are unable to survive our winter especially in the cooler regions of the British Isles.

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Comma

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Stargazing

(I know I know 😀 I’m up to my old bad habits again, promising a post then publishing something different on a whim but hey that’s blogging………. note a post about a fun fair I visited last Monday comes next also a back garden nature post follows soon, I promise! Btw I’m done with tales of masturbation 🙂 )

A post in response to Gayatri Sharma’s how-important-are-you. (click there)

I enjoy writing response posts, they’re not specifically a reply to the blog author even though they were the inspiration, no my thoughts are open to anyone kind enough to read.

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I hadn’t heard of Calvin and Hobbes ‘A Starry Night’ comic story until this evening, or the

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If U looked at your Stats, has anyone been viewed in North Korea?

A reflective thoughtful Post from Andrew this evening, not forgetting concise! Only 427 words for a change 🙂 I have a nature post coming but with Trump’s finger hovering over the nuclear button North Korea was on my mind.

the-internetIndulge me just this once a post where I delve a little deeper into my WordPress blog, we’re discussing statistics! I know there’s ‘nothing more boring than writing a blog about blogging!’ (I read that somewhere) but do you consider my question thought provoking? Are you being viewed in that most secretive of Countries North Korea?

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Upskirt. I’m sure I witnessed a crime, should I have said something?

Adult themes. Note the photographs below featuring ladies riding escalators are Google Imaged and if the text is anything to go by originates from some ‘perverted’ website. Honest! And I can assure you I’ve chosen them for dramatic effect only and anyways you can’t see her upskirt knickers :/ which means the image isn’t indecent.

In my defence this post isn’t quite how it possibly first appears. 😀 I’ve had an eventful few days please read on!

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Have you ever had one of those days when you’ve witnessed something so shocking, an act

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