20. My Mum :)

An affectionate portrait of my mother ūüôā and as I’ve said before I DO realise how fortunate I am in possessing so many old family photos.

I’ve just this moment decided to write a second Post this fine Friday evening, October is but one day away and yet again today’s been hot and sunny¬†ūüôā¬†I’m definitely at my¬†strongest when writing about my family also sharing old photographs (I really don’t think they’d have minded, and I’m very careful not to lol show the ones who are still alive)…………..to avoid confusion I should like to add my mother is fit and well….. I think I may have confused Reader!

Anyways not many people follow me going by my stats, that’s ok though and I know a couple of ladies will enjoy these pictures.

Tonight’s process of¬†scanning old photographs from my album onto my¬†laptop has¬†cheered me up no end after my previous Post, I hope you have time to read it, a sad tale but ……well you know.

Mum, Bridlington.jpgTo the right is a photo¬†of my mother and her friend, remembering this one was the inspiration for this Post¬†and it is tenuously linked to the abduction Post before. You see this picture was taken in more innocent times, a Great¬†Britain where a young girl could go off on her own fishing with a friend and I don’t mean just up the Road on their own! No my mum and her friend have travelled by train from their small village¬†and spent the whole day fishing at the seaside¬†then come home safely again, times have changed and I’ll leave it there.


ūüôā I love my mum¬†and I know I take he for granted, I know she does more than she has to but as the saying goes ‘your mum is the best friend you’ll ever have’, carrying you for 9 months¬†then going through the pain that is childbirth and all that, I wonder how bad¬†childbirth actually is???¬† I wish I found living easier, my brother takes after her side of the family, he’s a Hospital Doctor has a beautiful wife and blessed with 3 sons, I’m NOT a jealous or envious man but lol a few more of their genes would have been nice…………I’m joking! I do not resent his happy life.

Mum loves dogs, I think she loves dogs more than her husband lol, all her life she’s owned dogs, trained dogs in obedience, trained dogs for agility competitions………and she’ll still run around a show ring at age 70+…………as for my father he won’t get out of the living room chair lol.


Here’s my mum during swinging 60’s Great Britain sitting on the passenger seat of my father’s Lambretta motor scooter, she’s always had a great dress sense, still to this day actually, and she told me¬†sitting on the back of ‘that thing’ frightened the living daylights out of her, either that or because of my father’s motorcycling skills! Still she looks fabulous in her white pearls………is a son allowed to describe his mum as :/ good looking? Or lol is that a bit creepy?

I have a guess the next photo was taken on the same day……… my father’s brother is a keen photograph also picture painter, he’s had paintings¬†exhibited at the National Gallery (many years ago mind) and you can by his books of paintings on Amazon if you wish!


Incidentally that’s her mother-in-law, my Grandmother who was quite a formidable woman I can tell you……stern strict and from a no nonsense war generation.


……….and here’s one¬†more photograph circa 1970’s of¬†me mum and my brother whilst on summer holiday somewhere, Wales I think? Every year my brother and myself were always treated to a week’s summer holiday, happy days ūüôā

And finally , yow will NEVER work this one out lol………………


So there you are……my mum and how would I describe her? Every one loves her, she can strike up a conversation with a complete stranger and it’s as if they’ve been friends for life (I so envy that skill), she’s rarely angry (mind you takes no nonsense my brother am¬†I have felt the sting from the back of her hand and always deserved). She’s a fantastic mother and adored Grandmother, has many friends, is completely selfless¬†and¬†will do anything for anybody but you’d have to get up early in the morning to get one over her!

I’m going to try and be a better son………. ūüėÄ that’s got you wondering hasn’t it!!!!!!

I hope they were of interest, Andrew


19 – A UK Child abduction and the lie that is CCTV

(Update 26th June 2017, I’m afraid the young lady lied, she wasn’t abducted)

Over the past two years and 3 WP blogs¬†I have always tried to be positive¬†amusing and light hearted, good or bad and f#ck me some Posts were excruciatingly bad!!! I’ve tried my best to¬†entertain hence¬†I’ve stayed clear of Politics, War, Religion and all that’s wrong with the world!!!

I¬†NO longer watch the News because I can¬†NO longer stomach fighting killing and war in Syria! I can’t cope with watching more rail accidents, plane crashes and¬†multiple car¬†pileups on fog bound motorways! I’ve had enough of murders, sick paedophiles, pensioners beaten and robbed of savings! I’ve had my fill of¬†BREXIT doom stories a future where we’ll¬†all¬†be¬†unemployed, poor and finished! I’ve had enough of hearing about Hillary and Trump, I live in England for f#cks sake! …………. not forgetting evil inhumane ISIS…………. I’ve had my fill of horror stories.

I better stop at this point hadn’t I!¬† And I ask is¬†putting ones head in the proverbial sand cowardice or just a means of coping? I really honestly don’t know anymore.

So why do you feel the need to write a first serious Post Andrew? Well Wednesday last¬†something awful happened in Oxford which has rocked my home City to the core and¬†already changed the way people go about their daily lives……possibly for evermore?

Remember¬†my introduction, the one where I try to be cheerful¬†in both¬†my Post and comment replies because that makes me feel happy and hopefully you also,¬†well today I really felt like¬†sharing this¬†awful local News story¬†……… two days ago I watched the News and felt physically sick!……… That poor girl I feel so sorry for her and her family.

Two days ago at 8:25am a 14 year old girl walking to school in Oxford was abducted from a pavement¬†by two men driving¬†a silver Volkswagen saloon car,¬†taken to a local field and brutally raped……….¬†then four hours later she was found banging on residents¬†front doors¬†in a Housing Estate only a Mile from where she was snatched…………………consequently fear has enveloped the City, the two men are still at large and everyone knows this could happen again, for Christ’s sake a car pulled off the¬†Street and the driver snatched a child it could happen to anyone!……………I feel so sorry for that poor family.

Where an earth does Britain go next? Will a fear of abduction be the new normality?

If I was a betting man I’d say there’s (hopefully) a good chance of catching these 2 men simply because the crime is so horrendous and the fact EVERYONE is sickened by it, this child abduction affects everyone……. and fingers crossed¬†authorities will¬†find them!


The Police are appealing for cyclists to examine video from their helmet cameras, likewise drivers their dashboard cameras, and¬†retail businesses are being asked to check¬†video taken¬†from outside their shop doorways………but here’s a question, I thought 24hour video surveillance was supposed to do away with crime altogether? We were told everyone filming everyone else whether via Government or¬†by the¬†public with their cell phone cameras was meant to end crime forever? That’s what we’ve been¬†led to believe these recent years! I don’t think I’m getting carried away with an exaggeration, we been told CCTV will make Communities safer. NOT feel safer, no I mean actually physically safer!!!

And not forgetting cameras attached to Drones and in the sky!!!!!!!!!!!

You’ve heard the phrase ‘Big Brother Is Watching you’.¬†Commit a crime and someone will¬†capture you on¬†film thieving beating or driving without care or intention…………video will put an end to crime so we’re told………… everyone will¬†understand if they do something¬†illegal then they’ll DEFINATELY be captured on film red handed and¬†go straight to jail, and if you stretch that argument even further¬†no one will commit crime because they KNOW they WILL¬†be caught!

Isn’t that a modern day adaptation of Joseph Conrad’s Novel Catch 22?

I’ve been out today and my Town is palpably different….. the Streets are empty of people.

Perhaps I overstate my case, I understand¬†crime will never cease because¬†there are evil¬†people¬†in the World but I can’t help thinking the Public has been conned by an unwritten promise! Constant CCTV surveillance hasn’t made Britain a safer place, it hasn’t stopped the wicked horrific crime of a child be snatched off¬†the pavement in broad daylight………I can tell you for fact 8:25am Wednesday morning Oxford was busy and awash with CCTV yet a wicked crime is unsolved.

On a more comforting note we’re informed the young girl is in Hospital being cared for by Specialist Police Officers and hopefully they’ll catch these 2 white men.




18. Holly and Lucy


Dog lovers will hopefully enjoy these¬†‘family’ photographs,¬†HOLLY is age 3 so as you can imagine she’s bright eyed and full of life, she’ll retrieve a ball on a rope all afternoon and never get bored! Whereas LUCY¬†is age 14¬†and now a bit of a grumpy old lady who prefers to spend her days sleeping on the sofa.

Now a picture of my mother¬†holding both, I should say they¬†are my mother’s dogs, I exercise and play with them but alas circumstances don’t allow me to¬†have a pet!

ūüė¶ I’d love to own a collie dog but locking one up all day whilst I’m at work just isn’t fair………… maybe one day ūüôā

Mum with Holly and Lucy

Perhaps 3 photographs will suffice¬†for this post because I could write at great length about these two and even longer if I told you stories about all the other collies we’ve owned at different stages of our lives, when my brother and I were older teenagers¬†and living at my parents home we¬†had another black and white collie ūüôā named Belle and worth her weight in gold because¬†she really did help the family through difficult times, pets often are very good at that aren’t they, their loyalty sense of fun companionship friendship and happiness cheers¬†you up when you’re feeling down and yet they want so little in return, love feeding and a warm place to sleep and they’re well happy and content with life.

Returning to our two dogs and they couldn’t be more different, Lucy is a genuine working sheep dog, she was purchased from a farm where her two parents were used to round up sheep, a farmer’s tool have you will rather than pet, consequently when she accompanied me walking through¬†local¬†fields filled with stock animals, Lucy would¬†immediately crouch down as soon as¬†seeing them. Occasionally when¬†walking through¬†a field of sheep I’d allow her to encircle the animals from a distance¬†and she’d quietly move them into a group, a BLOODY dangerous thing to do mind knowing¬†farmers are permitted to shoot untethered dogs around their animals, but I trusted her instincts¬†and only dared try this on¬†a couple of occasions………. just not worth the risk and a little irresponsible of me.

Whereas Holly is a rescued collie, she’d been originally purchased by a family living in a high level maisonette which unbelievably had NO garden, consequently this very active dog could find herself locked in a cage for hours on end,¬†then when¬†the cage door was opened she’d attack the families cats…………some people don’t deserve to own pets! Well how she came to be part of our family is a long story, Holly wasn’t beaten or badly treated just neglected, anyways my mother through her many contacts came to own Holly and she’ll live out her days cared for and loved.

I’ll have to be careful because I could write thousands more words which would only interest¬†my family, that’s IF they knew of this blog which they never will!!! Anyways I’ll save you from tales of long walks by the river and…………..

I’ll¬†finish with a picture of my brother and¬†myself returning home from a cycling holiday¬†with Belle running out to greet us both. (Belle remember is the sheep herding dog!)



17. ‘Black Tighted Thigh’ a moral dilemma!


Skirt tucked in undies
Google image


I like to¬†think of¬†myself as a perfect gentleman, I’ll open doors for ladies at work allowing them to walk through first, and on a morning I’ll say “no, after you”¬†inviting a lady to alight¬†a commuter¬†bus before I¬†do¬†even though by Societies Rules I should go first. I’m polite because¬†throughout my formative years mum taught¬†me¬†the art of good manners both by instruction¬†and by her example. I’ll say¬†“please” and¬†“thank you”¬†many times throughout a day not because I have to, after all I’m an adult now I could forget all I’ve been taught, you know¬†do away with all the “please may I have…..” “please could you pass……”¬† but I haven’t¬†forgotten because¬†being polite is now second nature and yes being polite¬†does makes me feel good about myself¬†and¬†more¬†often than not she’ll smile¬†sweetly in return¬†ūüôā

But of course a true gentleman must also have sound morals.

I work in Oxford and many¬†times a week I’m¬†stopped¬†by Tourists asking for directions, I must have one of those approachable friendly faces! For example earlier this summer¬†an¬†overseas speaking tourist handed me¬†her white¬†iPhone,¬†then her and a friend¬†stepped back 20 paces asking me to take a photo of themselves standing in front of a British Red Telephone Box and even now I can¬†clearly remember thinking as I took their photo ‘these ladies are¬†very trusting, I could turn and run off with their ¬£400 iPhone’…… but of course I didn’t!

Skirt 2However because I’m writing a blog¬†story and I’ve included two rather¬†‘apparently happens’ pictures, you’ll have guessed there’s a qualification to my loveliness, an ulterior reason¬†for¬†all the¬†polite gentlemanly childhood references and lol yes there is.

Each weekday at work, come¬†mid morning I’ll nip out to¬†Taylors Delicatessen 5 minutes away¬†so¬†I can¬†buy an ’emmental cheese and salad sandwich’, my colleagues call me idle for not making a daily packed lunch and¬†yes I am lazy but they are rather tasty.

So this Wednesday as usual, I walk off campus¬†and as an aside there’s a rather nice benefit¬†to being outdoors in¬†sunny Oxford this time of year,¬†there’s sure to be lots of ladies (all ages)¬†wearing summer dresses which brightens up a boring day, University students, shop ladies¬†or tourists Oxford’s awash with beautiful women ūüė¶ big sigh! Anyways I¬†cross the main road and quite a few meters in front of me is a young lady showing rather a lot of leg, her black ‘tighted’ right thigh and calf¬†to be exact.

I hadn’t noticed her pass by while I was looking both ways before crossing, but then catching up¬†behind her I did one of those double takes, let me explain she had what you would call a major wardrobe malfunction! For whatever reason unbeknown to the lady the right side of her dress was pulled up trapped between shoulder bag and buttock! I know quite incredible and I might add extremely sexy when¬†viewed from behind, a¬†few paces in front of me was a lady showing her black tighted leg from shoe heel right up to well the base of her bag, no knickers on show¬†just¬†her¬†very sexy¬†leg line!

And I might add she wasn’t the first ‘caught dress’ scenario I’ve ever witnessed!

“So what did¬†you do Andrew” you may ask?¬†I guess I should have run up to her, tapped her on the shoulder and said “miss did you know your dress hem is caught”, like I’ve¬†explained I¬†consider myself a well mannered perfect gentleman, I should have said something shouldn’t I but alas I didn’t, I followed admiringly for a minute (only) then she turned right into an alleyway and I¬†walked straight¬†on to buy my sandwich and that’s the last I ever saw of her!

But for quite a while afterwards I wondered at what point did she realise her clothing embarrassment? Did some kind gentleman a few moments later point out her dress hem malfunction? Or for the next 25 minutes did she walk into Oxford City centre with no one telling her, I guess someone did!

But if I’m going to refer to myself as at least chivalrous then¬†‘Andrew you should really have said something to her’, in¬†fact¬†approaching might have been quite a fun exchange, hmm¬†:/ not my finest moment was it! As always with me, ‘my dick ruled my brain’ which is¬†another phrase for pretty women lol are my only weakness! (One or two of lady readers¬†understand there’s a moral tale connected to that admission!)


16. A photograph of Andrew


ūüėĬ†Alas¬†the naked guy¬†gazing¬†at his own reflection in a pool of water isn’t¬†a photo of¬†myself but I have a good guess you¬†know his name,¬†that’s¬†if you know your Greek Mythology which I don’t! I happened across this Google image the other day and thought to myself¬†‘what a sexy looking guy’ even though I’m not gay, lol all very homoerotic and¬†with a¬†penis I’d be proud to call my own.

Anyways I’m Andrew and the guy¬†is Narcissus.

Reluctantly ūüėĬ†I’m uploading¬†a photo of myself¬†and why not, I¬†wrote reluctantly only because I’m not exactly Richard Gere¬†ūüôā hmm I can sense¬†your disappointment but there you are.

So why the distant expression you may ask? Where am I gazing with such distant concentration?

Now I guess there’s several ways to interpret this photo taken by my age 8 nephew¬†from his iPad, (I might buy one of those, he saved up for his with his pocket money and yes the tablet IS as he says,¬†“Awesome, Uncle you¬†could play Pok√©mon Go¬†on it!“,¬†Err NO I’ll pass,¬†I¬†won’t be walking the Town’s Streets¬†searching for Hotspots………… But a¬†clever way of getting children outside exercising don’t you think? Nintendo I applaud you.

Where was I? Yes interpretation,¬†well I’m not being narcissistic¬†showing you¬†how handsome I am that’s for sure, more likely I can sense my Followers err un Following. So you can¬†be sure revealing myself is NOT vanity, :/ no¬†uploading this picture is nothing more complicated than¬†showing a picture of me.

image1-2_resizedBTW my nephew secretly¬†‘captured’¬†this during¬†Toy Story 3 and rather¬†annoyingly¬†he does this ALL the time! A lovely lad though and I’d be proud to¬†call all 3 boys my sons but alas…….. anyways¬†they’re a credit to their parents. (Being honest there are times when I wish I had children of my own but that’s for another blog post,¬†‘c’est la vie’ ūüôā )

Incidentally you’ll know the guy up top is¬†the origin of the word narcissism and¬†if you read WP blogs you’ll¬†understand narcissism is an evil character trait much written about by bloggers¬†from their own personal experience, horrific¬†tales¬†of nasty controlling men and yes also women.


Narcissus was a hunter in Greek Mythology who was known for his beauty, much like me! NO NO NO,¬†Narcissus was the son of¬†a river God¬†born of a¬†nymph and was proud, god was he proud and¬†sneered at¬†those who loved him. Nemesis noticed his behaviour¬†and one day¬†attracted Narcissus to a pool where he saw his own reflection in the water and fell in love with himself, I have a guess we’re all picturing someone right now, and unable to leave the beauty of his reflection Narcissus lost his will to live and¬†stared at his reflection until he died.

ūüôā Andrew

13. Orgasm :)

Note adult themes¬†but I haven’t broken¬†WP guidelines because I’ve read and checked. Hopefully!

(¬†ūüôā I’ve been blogging (loosely)¬†for the past 2 years and every¬†time I’ve¬†I uploaded ‘something unusual’ I try and convince myself I don’t care what Readers think of me, but¬†I do care ūüôā¬†, trouble is I’m a restless sort of guy who is mentally unable (or is that unstable!)¬†of themed blogging, btw I think themed blogs are fabulous but not really me,¬†you see I get bored lol so¬†unfortunately I’m a mixture you know a¬†Family History, 1980’s music and ‘others’.}

I’m truly hoping this Post will make you smile, the one I promised the one I lost¬†when I deleted my earlier Blog but¬†no worries¬†c’est la vie¬†I’ve¬†uploaded again.


The funny shaped black plastic container pictured down below is in fact¬†THE¬†worlds most popular¬†male ‘sx toy’ which¬†sells¬†literally¬†by the millions, so¬†I guess¬†I’m not¬†that unusual¬†after all!¬†ūüėÄ Btw I haven’t used ‘it’¬†in a long while not since my ‘one and only’ pink bottle of lubrication ran out. Where was I? Yes this ‘toy’¬†sells by the millions and at $40 a unit some lucky inventor is now very rich!

The toy¬†is¬†fun warm and tight¬†but the fit is very different to a ladies real¬†pussy and¬†incidentally all the ones I’ve¬†been lucky enough to¬†……¬†were all bald as well! Discretion is the¬†manufacturers key selling point and their designers have been quite clever because¬†the black case is¬†made to look like¬†a ‘Flashlight’ hence the name¬†‘Fleshlight’ and I guess the idea is, if someone opens a cupboard door and sees ‘it’ on a shelf then they instantly think ‘Battery powered Torch’,¬†BUT the manufacturers don’t tell you what happens when¬†you¬†remove the cap and try to use in a blackout¬†emergency! Bit of a bummer if you have a power cut!

I can understand¬†why people consider male toys an¬†unusual idea, you know even¬†a little sad, with ladies a vibe is considered cool¬†her¬†writhing about on the bed as she’s you know, btw I was amazed¬†a certain lady Follower¬†has never owned¬†a vibe¬†preferring her fingers instead, but men using a ‘Fleshlight’ is definitely unusual and I do¬†feel guilty when I come across it from time to time, anyways enough of feeling sorry for myself ūüėÄ

Now to the pink pliable plastic V! Going by the¬†twelve I’ve actually seen¬†I have to say the¬†appearance is pretty realistic looking, the¬†V canal is 20mm diameter and tightness around the shaft¬†is pretty¬†much like the real pussy, not¬†mixing spoon in pudding bowl ūüėÄ , but of course the sleeve is only similar to a ladies V, nothing cums close to the real thing does it, so let’s just say similar.

I’ve perhaps gone tooo far with the next set of photos¬†but there ain’t much I haven’t shown on WP and the cartoons¬†should bring a smile! Just be thankful¬†lol I’m not showing the accompanying¬†YouTube video ūüėÄ

I couldn’t resist adding ‘a personal pic’ I¬†AM a closet exhibitionist after all, seriously, I can undress lol in front of women who I’ve known¬†literally minutes¬†(note inside a bedroom) and not be in the slightest bit embarrassed which is so strange cause lol I’not that good looking.

Manufacturers claims:¬†‘The legendary US Pink Lady Fleshlight toy for men! A soft, pliable non-vibrating sleeve made from patented high-quality material, the Pink Lady Fleshlight gives incredibly realistic sensations!’

Immerse the Pink Lady Fleshlight sleeve in hot water to add heat and make your experience even more lifelike. The material feels like velvety soft warm flesh and is 100% body-safe. The moulded gel insert is housed in an attractive and sturdy canister that looks like an ordinary utility flashlight.

The Pink Lady Fleshlight is easy to handle, easy to clean, designed for discreet storage and impossible to wear out!

Always use with a generous squeeze of water-based lubricant to enhance your pleasure to sky-high levels.

After use I washed through under a cold water tap, dried with a towel and placed in the airing cupboard, talk about ‘faffing about’!!!! You can see why I can’t be bothered lol. All said and done though, from an engineering point of view the sleeve is one amazing piece of plastic, pliable, stretchy, feeling like skin and pink!

ūüôā Personally I prefer the hand, a lot less messing¬†around. So if you ever visit someone’s home and see one of these on a shelf you’ll know it’s not a Flashlight! ūüėČ

Comes with a shower mount for heavens sake? I don’t think so! ūüôā



12. Crystal Castles – ‘Not In Love’

For many many months I blogged under a different name (I cannot say ūüėÄ long story!¬†)¬†where I¬†would often share my favourite songs from the 1980’s, synthesiser Bands to be more precise and¬†all from my distant youth in yes the 80’s! Well this tune ‘Not In Love’ by Crystal Castles was released quite a few years later, in fact I did¬†share this YouTube video on¬†my previous Domain but ‘hey ho’ why not again ūüôā


However there is ‘a not so tenuous link’¬†back to the 80’s in that Robert Smith sings the vocals and of course Robert was lead¬†vocalist in the UK Band¬†named ‘The Cure’ which does hark back to my lol era. He’s now age 57, been through the drugs and alcohol big time,¬†and with out Googling I think ‘The Cure’ still Tour.

Very unique voice Robert has don’t you think and¬†thankfully not¬†the¬†‘averagely run of the mill’ male¬†X Factor vocal, God I hate ūüėÄ reality music programs, anyway enough of grumpy old Andrew.

ūüôā I hope you enjoy, and presented to you by the wonders of YouTube (not my Channel btw), ‘Not In Love’ by Crystal Castles ūüôā


11. Breast Milk but alas with no sandwich


This Post used to be¬†one of my¬†late night¬†‘seemed like a good idea at the time’¬†stories (click Sandwich¬†above)¬†:/ laced with tooo much honesty even a little¬†dishonesty and¬†yes¬†poetic licence¬†ūüôā and now removed! So my apologies if you’ve read and I’ve offended, but there you are I enjoy writing, it’s my blog and ‘at least lol I didn’t kick any puppies!!!’


9. Blind Dating (a long time ago!)


ūüôā This cartoon really did make me smile’.

I have a blind date tale to tell which may have scarred me for life, maybe not, maybe¬†it’s just¬†a convenient excuse!

I’d guess we all have experiences which leave¬†their indelible mark on our psyche,¬†upsetting us, breaking our hearts,¬†impacting our lives for years¬†to come¬†or for¬†the truly unfortunate perhaps¬†you’ve experienced a combination of all four! Ok¬†yes a little melodramatic, we all have to learn and move on but¬†are affairs of the heart that easy? So how many¬†tales¬†do you have to tell and did they actually affect you so¬†greatly they may have altered the way you live your life for evermore, then again all experiences shape our future lives so get a grip Andrew.


ūüôā I’d guess this one’s pretty much spot on.

A tale for you, and I’m always honest, after walking the third girl home¬†I gave up¬†girls as not worth the upset, mind you¬†if I’d been masturbating at that point in my life I’d have been on the Town next evening looking for¬†an easy lay,¬†forgotten all three, isn’t the pursuit of sex how relationships come about? I’m a nice guy so I¬†don’t use women, then again dicks control¬†a guys¬†thought process and I have history lol!

But truthfully after saying goodnight to the third girl¬†I gave up¬†dating girls quite a lot actually ūüė¶ the first two were¬†nice but I’d put my hopes up,¬†the third lol¬†a cow¬†convincing me¬†a sex drive could have made me¬†date differently all these years after, so ūüėÄ blame¬†my laziness on¬†lack of¬†masturbation! Err does that make sense?

Yes I have a tale that scarred me for life, not the one where I came out of an ensuite bathroom to be faced by a guy stark bollock naked in his¬†bedroom, don’t ask how and why! A¬†guy¬†armed with a hard very erect dick¬†and¬†that¬†knowing look in¬†his eyes where ‘gulp’ I¬†understood¬†where¬†he wanted to insert it! (My mouth if you’re curious).

A tale for another day, or maybe not I’ve told¬†you once before!


ūüôā This one’s got creepy overtones!

I’ll set¬†a scene, a good few years ago when I was really young, I experienced the hell that is going on a blind date,¬†in fact¬†friends played cupid with my heart three times in the space of¬†one year and¬†still a virgin as well¬†(that has a baring on whether you give up or not).¬†Three is a¬†big mistake, three¬†horrible¬†blind dates¬†one after another¬†all set up by lovely well meaning¬†friends who yes cared for my happiness,¬†and being a weak man¬†and frightened of hurting peoples feelings¬†I didn’t say¬†no.

BUT THEY WEREN’T THREE hellish ladies, that’s important, all lovely girls though the third was a bit of a cow!

I once told a horrified escort this story.

I’ve learnt an important lesson as I’ve gotten older, become wiser as the years pass,¬†I¬†have the right to say¬†NO without feeling guilty. OKAY I’m all melodramatic tonight lol and it’s wrong to ‘pass the blame’, so I didn’t get the outcome¬†I hoped for, that’s life!¬†And note my emotions were resignation never anger.

The first date was to be an evening at the cinema¬†accompanying several other¬†couples, me being¬†paired up¬†with the sister of one of¬†the groups young men, still with me?¬†I’m writing this many years later and I do recall the warm¬†afternoon,¬†off the shoulder summer dresses and you know how it is, all evening lovely couples¬†engineering we be alone or walk down¬†a City street side by side. ūüôā No doubt¬†amusingly fun for the girlfriends but for me and the young lady¬†awkward comes to mind, love wasn’t in the air, very little chemistry, naughty girls¬†we all know¬†women enjoy match making, anyways my¬†‘girlfriend’ was pleasant but alas¬†love was never in the air and certainly no physical attraction,¬†lol¬†I’m still unsure what¬†“reading dictionaries is a good way to broaden ones vocabulary” lol actually means?

I’m a little pathetic aren’t I, but take it from me ‘cold’¬†blind dates¬†ain’t a good idea!

I’m being a little¬†disingenuous, the evening was pleasant enough and I wasn’t forced to go,¬†I agreed because well you never know do you? We could have ‘hit it off like a house on fire’,¬†now happily married ** years later with three kids or ūüôā just good friends.


ūüôā All guys hope for a¬†hand up¬†her skirt don’t they?¬†

Believe it or not the second date was even worse lol.¬†A male friend¬†at the time asked if I’d¬†like to go for a meal with¬†him, for what I believed to be¬†at the time¬†with only him! We organised the date¬†restaurant and time,¬†but come the evening might heart sank as he pulled into my drive for¬†there was a young woman with long jet black¬†hair sitting next to him, the blackest coloured hair I’d ever seen and masses of it, as black as Paola’s. God knows what her pussy looked like? (Not Paola’s!) Must of resembled a pussy cat sitting across her bare crotch, maybe that’s where the term¬†pussy originates from?

Sorry I got side tracked.

I opened the car’s rear door, sat in a seat behind¬†them and he introduced the young lady as a friend from work with a name I can’t recall, in fact I can’t remember any of the¬†three ladies names!¬†¬†Introductions made we¬†drove to this quiet restaurant in the Cotswolds, as you can imagine the atmosphere was tense but friendly the¬†conversation awkward¬†and a¬†little forced. We were both shy¬†consequently¬†my¬†friend put all the work in, he was a good natured man he obviously¬†knew both¬†myself and the single¬†lady well (we didn’t), then¬†no doubt compared our personalities and¬†came up with a cunning plan ‘bring us together’ and be known around Church as ‘a matchmaker’ lol. Looking back you could¬†say not telling me was a little deceitful, he should really have told me this lady was coming perhaps he was worried I’d cry of with an excuse.


ūüėÄ Scary or not I’d¬†still give her one!

I was tooo young for blind dates.

So was the date a mistake? Maybe, looking back I’m not the right type to have a surprise sprung upon me, I need preparation time in which to get all worked up, gregarious extroverts¬†would have soon put thoughts of romance aside and just enjoyed a convivial evening¬†out but don’t get me wrong, she was lovely¬†my friend had good intensions and as I remember we all parted on happy terms.¬†Then again she could just have been the one! I could be married now putting a daughter through college¬†or helping a son erect a garden fence this weekend!

How life’s direction turns on one chance meeting. The young lady and I could have ‘clicked’, my friend could have dropped us off, allowed us¬†to walk home together, we could have wandered into the park, lay in the long grass my hand inside her panties fingering, then f#cked each others¬†brains out!……………….Andrew Stop! She was¬†a lovely¬†sweet young lady.

I’m JOKING, you know me I can be¬†‘clean’ for only¬†so long ūüėÄ she was a nice girl I wonder what her pussy looked like?


:/ Can’t say I’ve ever seen one.

So maybe you’re wondering¬†am I angry with¬†my deceitful kind¬†friend?¬† Of course not, knowing mischievous Norman he hoped we’d suit each, how could I dislike someone who cared. Incidentally he¬†has triplet daughters age 17 last time I saw them and absolute stunners.

Are you curious as¬†to what happened in between us driving to the restaurant and¬†Norman dropping us off at our two homes?¬†As I remember¬†we all had a pleasant meal and yes as I remember pleasant conversation ūüôā¬†you know how in life how events and life experiences are remembered as¬†photographs imprinted across¬†our minds, and¬†as the years pass so those¬†pictures become less and less, then after a generation you’re left with¬†an evening out perhaps¬†as just two of those photographs.

Well my photograph is¬†of a dark haired¬†young lady sitting across from me, shy quiet and¬†me wondering whether her silence was nerves,¬†or me being me, I’d convinced myself by then she really didn’t¬†like me. Looking back I realise my stupidity,¬†a friend of Norman’s would have been a lovely person¬†though probably on the quiet side and if I’d followed the date up, phoned, then¬†a second proper date could have been fun with the ice already broken.


ūüôā One for the ladies.

My own feelings are easily hurt and¬†I should have jumped back on the dating horse, the ladies above were nice girls ūüôā though the third was nasty to me, lol if the three¬†dates had been relaxed and fun,¬†an absence of uncomfortable atmosphere, then¬†with a little confidence would I¬†have met girls a different way?

Blind dates aren’t a good idea.

If by then I’d discovered lol the joys of masturbation, that orgasmic¬†heavenly release, then next evening out on the piss I’d have been out searching down an¬†easy lay, she’d have played hard to get, I would have pursued her wearing her defences down then f#cked her brains out on the honeymoon.

ūüôā Now that silly¬†Post above is finished I may or may not write about the third girl.


8. 2 happy tunes from the 1980’s

From ‘time to time’¬†on my previous blog I would upload favourite video songs from the 1980’s, well here are 2 more performed by ‘Tears for Fears’ and I still love listening to ‘Mad World’ even till this day.

….. see if you love it to ūüôā I’ve always been a fan of¬†1980’s synth music. (Google if you’d like to¬†understand more).

Tears for Fears are an English rock band formed in 1981 by Roland (black curly hair) and Kurt (Pony tail), they are posers lol. I say rock but they were more associated with the new wave synthesizer music of the early 1980s, later branching out into mainstream rock and pop which led to future international chart success.

Their platinum-selling debut album, ‘The Hurting’, reached number one¬†in the UK Albums Charts which was¬†quite a feat back then when album sales ruled the world! No CD’s or digital downloads!