I’ll post this photo of me in my undies not to impress mind just so as it catches your eye in the Reader but you’ll have to read on to understand why.
For those of you who recognise that bedroom and colour co ordinated quilt cover, the oak dressing table and tree lamp you’ll know I’m the guy who Posted artistically posed selfies many many months ago, never again!!!
A short story from last weekend, don’t expect tooo much 🙂 I enjoyed writing.
I am a big time fan of online shopping, I’m known for it at work and I’ve made both great and some awful late night purchases………especially on eBay!!! So advice to my Bank, come eleven o’clock at night block my credit card until morning and I’m not joking.
I am clean right out of wearable underwear! Maybe your knickers draw is the same, you know do some pairs have a hole or two? Some lost they’re their waist elastic with a danger of slipping down, must be unnerving if you’re wearing a dress, or maybe some pairs have a stretched gusset! Wtf?
Well last Saturday evening I Googled men’s briefs, and very quickly find a pair I like sold by NEXT High Street clothes boutique, I know a tad young for me but hey ‘he who dares wins’ or something like that, so I get my credit card out and purchase a pack of four in colour black. It’s all working like a dream so far, don’t you find there’s nothing more horrifying when ‘paying up’ goes all wrong, a card is refused, I automatically break into a cold sweat thinking someone’s stolen my identity, but not to worry an email appears in my Inbox saying they’re mine and pickup Sunday after twelve.
Come on now isn’t technology amazing? Buy exactly what wish and pickup next day, years ago you’d traipse down the High Street in the pouring rain only to find what you want is sold out or they’re out of stock in the colour you want.
The following morning I wander ‘Down Town’, that’s another phrase for ‘Shopping Mall’ to Americans 🙂 and head directly for our NEXT clothing store and I’ll tell you something I wasn’t half nervous walking through those big shiny doors parting before me. Why you ask? Well being a middle aged man I’d forgotten what a youngsters fashion boutique looks and feels like inside……….. lots of young people and racks of trendy clothes to be exact and wouldn’t you believe it Purchase Pickup is upstairs at the rear of the Store meaning I have to pick my way through happy teenagers and women’s fashion.
Are they amused by me? I knew on-line underwear shopping was a mistake!
Slightly flushed I climb upstairs and join a long queue of other internet late evening shoppers again they’re all women. ‘F#ck is this a female only store?’ I thought to myself. Today there was only one girl serving us, approximately age 17, a pretty lady wearing a white tee shirt with NEXT written across her chest, oh and a couple of tattoos spaced on her forearm. I’m sorry but I’m afraid I’m NOT a big fan of females with tattoos, call me old fashioned and I’m a ‘live your life how you wish’ 🙂 sort of person and maybe it’s an age thing but to me tattoos are unfeminine and ALWAYS look awful on a girl. There you are but I would never say to the lady!
Incidentally, tattoos are a new very modern phenomenon, oh yes the craze is very recent and did you know in Victorian days only 3 types of people were tattooed, can you guess? Well if you can’t tattoos were worn by the Military, Prostitutes and Criminals……absolutely true!
Back to my clothing Boutique shopping tale. For ten minutes or so I’m standing with other women in the Purchase Pickup queue which is moving very VERY slowly just in front of the pretty girl’s counter, but I don’t mind, she’s fun to watch briskly walking to and from her Store Room then serving customers, very conscientious I could see she enjoyed her job and I’m a sucker for a pretty face.
My turn!!! So I walk to the counter hand the girl my Order Number and a few minutes later she returns with my briefs, see photo above…………then she says something completely deflating and not at all in an unkind manner…….
“Four pairs of men’s black briefs in size SMALL”
……and lol she didn’t half emphasise the word “SMALL” but all spoken with a very sweet smile across her face, not at all nasty or condescending nope the young lady had a sense of humour and I just knew at that very moment in time we both had the image of a man’s ‘bits and bobs’ pictured across both our minds……..and no word of a lie I felt like saying “I’ll tell you something Miss I ain’t that small :)”
But of course I didn’t say anything, I just smiled in return when she caught my eye, took my package paid then exited the Store as quick as I could. Anyways our briefest of encounters made my day, in fact I smiled all the way home (true) thinking I’ll perhaps write a Post about this. Passes the time 🙂