30 – I’m a little upset tonight

 

lucy-008
LUCY

 

I’m a little upset tonight, not tearful because I’m not the crying sort of man, perhaps I should reveal more of my emotions happy or sad, but not tonight I’m just to damn weary, a long day at work, two bus journeys and a phone call from my mum and I’m totally spent.

Don’t assume by me writing this post that I’m hankering after sympathy, I’m a practical man, I’m ok I just felt like writing something down so this post is totally unprepared and written out here and now. I’m not tearful but I am feeling a little low, just the tiny bit emotional, remember an earlier post where I told you all about our two collies called Lucy and Holly? Well mum phoned a few minutes ago to say Lucy was put to sleep at the vets earlier this morning, our loyal friend and precious pet dog had lived to a good age, fifteen years is exceptional for medium size dogs, but today was her final day on earth and looking at the recent photo above she was looking a bit of an old lady!

Fifteen years is a long time, we bought her from a farm and she’s a genuine sheep hearding border collie, I won’t write down Lucy’s life story just that she was loyal a friend and lots of fun, she’d fetch a thrown ball all day long if you wanted, pets become part of ones family don’t they hence that’s why their passing hurts so much. There are lots of stories to tell, only interesting to me except to say I’ll miss taking her on long walks down by the river, I’ll really miss walking the common and across fields. My sadness will probably pass by this time tomorrow to be replaced by happy memories which will be triggered by completely innocuous events in years to come, I’m ok.

So there you are, days like these bring home life’s path can change forever just by means of a simple phone call, so there you are, mum’s not to upset because she’s a very strong woman takes after her mother, and they have Holly who’ll be comfort in the days to come.

My apologies for putting you through this post if you’re reading, but I’m really not sure if anyone does anyway, tonight I lost my pet dog and feel an empty hole in my heart but it’ll pass and that’s fine to acknowledge life goes on. So there you are, life’s path isn’t linear is it? Yes the direction is straight-on but life revolves around cycles, you’re born a baby and ultimately you may grow up and produce a baby of your own and so life’s cycle goes on and on 🙂 all very profound! We’ve had collies before and if my parents were younger they’d have a collie pup again life goes on.

Anyways enough of all that, tonight’s been nice to look at Lucy’s picture and write a few things down, I’m definitely at my most comfortable holding photograph and writing a family post.

Tomorrows another day and there’s more important things in life, remember my post ‘child abduction and the lie that is CCTV’? Well her abduction has had a big effect on me, more than I’d ever imagined, that poor girl, a car pulls alongside as she’s walking to school……….. and well her ordeal puts ANY of life’s problems into perspective and a pet dog dying is of no comparison.

Andrew

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32 thoughts on “30 – I’m a little upset tonight

  1. Oh I’m so sorry to hear that, how very upsetting. Don’t apologise at all, though your post was very sad it was also well written and genuinely from the heart. I completely understand 😦

    It sounds like Lucy had an amazing fifteen years with you, it must have been her happy, healthy life that gave her such a good innings.

    And though you’re MORE than entitled to grieve for your dog, I do know what you mean about making comparisons. Sometimes when I’m down in the dumps about really trivial stuff (work, money, being tired etc) I think of how lucky I am really, like the awful abduction you mentioned, something like that is unfathomable and does make things pale in comparison.

    I really hope you’re doing okay.

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    • Thank you for your kind words, and I genuinely mean that I live on my own and someone here now would be nice, time for an early night I think, and yes she was a lovely dog, we had fifteen fabulous years together as a family 🙂 your comment is much appreciated thank you again.

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      • Not at all, I was so glad I read it. I meant every word, your post was really lovely to read, which sounds odd, but I mean it in a nice way. At the same time of course I did feel very sad for you 😦

        I hope you have a nice rest and if it means anything at all I’m thinking of you and Lucy too. Fifteen years is a very long time, she sounds like she was a very lucky and loved girl.

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        • Emma your kind words and the other ladies who’ve been so supportive have cheered me up today, to know so many took the time to read and then write has quite touched me in a happy way 🙂 Speaking to my brother WordPress may have also been a touch of luck (though he doesn’t know!) Amazingly we don’t have any recent photographs so the ones I took of Lucy for my blog have been forwarded to family members. Andrew

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  2. I’m so very sorry Andrew. I know how hard itust be to lose your beloved pet. I have had dogs since I was little. There is nothing so real as the unconditional love a dog has for his master and as comforting as that bond can be for we humans who relate to animals. My thoughts are with you. Many hugs. Holly

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    • 🙂 Thank you Holly for your kind message, I would have replied last night but I was a little tired, though I did read before going to work. Because Lucy was getting on in years we all knew her passing would happen but last night’s call was still a shock and today was a little difficult. Having pets of your own you’ll understand the strong bond which forms and yes they unconditionally love you yet want little in return except lo be loved. Thank you, all your messages mean a lot, Andrew.

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  3. Oooooh Andrew.. I read… and I’m so very sorry 😐 for your loss..

    I know.. they say human life is far more important than animals..
    but yet we can still feel the same pain when we lose one.
    Love ❤️ is love ❤️ no matter what or who… and we get attached to our dogs 🐶.. I know I do.. they become part of us/ our family..

    Take the time to mourn her.. and don’t you feel guilty about your empty heart…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your kind and supportive reply yesterday evening, I’m truly grateful to all those who’ve taken the time to write because mum’s call was a bit of a shock, I have felt a little lost today, even though Lucy was a pet dog she was also my friend and as my brother said tonight we all played our part in making Lucy’ life a happy one for her. The picture of her above is such a lovely photograph thank goodness for this blog because I wouldn’t have taken it otherwise. Andrew.

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    • Thank you Kristi I’m a little overcome with all the kind replies I’ve received here tonight, in a happy way though 🙂 Reading them all has cheered me up no end and I truly mean that, I live on my own and have felt a little lost today, ty Andrew. 🙂

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  4. All my sympathy to you on the loss of Lucy. I do understand the pain of losing a cherished friend, whether it’s feline or canine. Dear Andrew, Lucy had a wonderful life and in giving you and your family her unconditional love she was giving you all a part of herself for you to keep forever. Her strength and courage are now inside you and your family who loved her so dearly. Bless you, my dear friend. My thoughts are with you.

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    • Thank you Cara, after I finished writing an email of yours came to mind, the one where you described the day you and your sister had to take her cat Maurice to the vet. Losing a pet is truly heart breaking, I didn’t cry that evening but I wept when ‘Belle’ passed away, my mum was as strong as ever but Lucy’s passing hit my dad. Ty Cara ❤

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