After first titling my post ‘Sex and a lady at the bus stop’, I’ve just remembered I have a tale to tell which in fact involves sex AT a bus stop!…….Hmmm that’s a story for some other time but alas I didn’t f#ck her behind that skip after she’d finished with my friends……….. one of the biggest regrets of my life, I had the chance, she wanted to but another friend stopped me for good reasons, he knew I’d had tooo much to drink, he looked after me and must have sensed our evening out together was in danger of getting out of hand. But still pulling her off me whilst we were kissing at the bus stop does seem a little mean all these years later and NO she was NOT a hooker! (Btw we were all age 17, us boys, her and all her friends?)
Don’t despair, bare with me, my introduction misogyny and silliness done with, this post is very much more personal than usual and very much written for me, so much so I very nearly disabled likes and comments, we’ll see.
Introspection is all very well as long as there’s a point to self analysis, looking inwards questioning why life isn’t how I’d like it to be or would like it to be can quickly make way to feeling sorry for oneself, and wallowing in self pity isn’t a pretty sight further still brooding over life’s regrets can be self destructive! Then again, time to time reflecting on one’s direction in life doesn’t hurt once in a while and where better place to write than on a blog.
Talking of blogs, do you 😀 really need to know or want to understand the reason why? Why I haven’t been here? No not really because you all have lives to lead, so Andrew of what cryptic nonsense do you speak? I began November blogging a post everyday for 18 days but then a week ago I stopped, now understand I’ve been chastised in the past for apologising so I won’t, all I will say is I squeezed a boob and licked a nipple Wednesday evening……………..a HUMAN female breast I might add!!!!!!……….I know she sounds fantastic but being with her wasn’t love and I’m someone who wants to be in love and hates being single one night stands are ok I guess, you know sex then go your separate ways, but lust is a deadly sin for a good reason, sex without love is well…..a little pointless.
Why am I still single and living on my own? How did I come to be a bachelor when all I’ve ever wanted needed is to be in a loving relationship? I’m not going to even try to explain why just understand the reasons are complicated, the opposite sex confuse and baffle me and I’ve NEVER been skilled at reading a woman’s body language or the signals she gives of herself?
Whether you can live with a lady is immaterial, just know you can’t live without her…….. 🙂 ahhh.
Over the past two years I’ve followed hundreds of ladies writing of their relationship happiness also heart rending horrific tales here on WordPress. True stories of living with controlling abusive narcissistic partners and the emotional scars and wounds their abusers behaviour leave behind, and yes I felt desperately sad for the ladies and their predicaments to the point I stopped reading because they upset me so….. you see I feel tremendous empathy towards people enduring sadness and hardship, reading was I guess a form of voyeurism but at the same time their accounts were so upsetting I sensed they were also emotionally damaging and yes unhealthy so I had to stop…… there’s only so much of other peoples sadness you can take on board!!!
But rather selfishly I’m questioning myself tonight, asking myself ‘why the hell am I still single when I’d never treat another woman so awfully?’ I’m a nice man, horrible word I know but it’ll suffice 🙂 I’m a nice guy I enjoy the company of women, I’m respectful polite and never arrogant, I listen often captivated by their femininity humour, very often amused by their funny little ways and of course I enjoy their sexuality always at a respectful distance mind!! However I live alone and internet dating isn’t the answer………..f#cking nightmare……don’t ever bother.
A married friend of mine says women are a different species, unfathomable emotionally irrational sometimes a little unstable, however he wouldn’t wish to be unmarried for all the world, by all accounts my friend and his wife argue, as do all couples but they obviously still love each other because they’ve reached 50 together! Btw he’s also a gobshite who says during sex he’ll gaze at the bedroom wallpaper just so as to take his mind off the job in hand, apparently convincing himself ‘to redecorate’, ‘musing over colour schemes’, ‘setting a start date’ apparently mundane thoughts help prolong the intercourse, you know leave the moment of ejaculation for as long a time as possible, he says “it keeps her happy!”
😀 Back to me! Why AM I still single? I’m a nice man, I would never strike a woman, I have never sworn in front of a lady to the point this week I told a guy off at work for saying fuck and shit in front of a young Pakistani lady, his defence was she’s just a technician like the rest of us, BULLSHIT she’s a lady and he (my boss) was being a disrespectful misogynistic bastard! Afterwards I spoke to her and she said she wasn’t offended, laughed the abuse off because it wasn’t personal but I differ, work aggravation or not the issue wasn’t her fault and she didn’t need to witness language like that. I’m an honourable man, there are standards and rules, yes she works on a par in a man’s world but she’s still a lady and should be treated as such.
HOWEVER I’m not perfect, far from it, I’m prone to sulking rather than shouting and swearing, I guess my retort to difficult interpersonal situations is to go all ‘silent treatment’ you know act in a very childish manner, ‘you’ve upset me so I’m not speaking to you any more’ all very juvenile but so much better than lashing out verbally.
Btw I didn’t sit down to write a post about relationships, believe it or not I intended to share photographs I taken in the Lake District a UK national park, so heaven knows how I came to be questioning why I’m still single? Btw ‘WHY’ is a long long story too complicated for even WordPress tonight or ever!!!! I’ll leave photos for another day and see where this unplanned post goes?
To be continued……………..