Continued………………… (Please don’t confuse my 2 tales, remember the lady I met last Wednesday, we DIDN’T have sex at a bus stop! That’s another story)
‘……sex, fun, laughter and cuddles over we went our separate ways, after all the evening was only ever ‘one night sex’, yes I know I’d said I like to meet her again but I doubt it, NO!…………… 😀 ….I desperately want to tell all but I promised myself earlier best to be discreet and not kiss and tell, so nothing of our evening and quite right tooo even though I enjoy writing about sex, best left, enough said! So after a lovely evening together I let myself out of her electronically controlled front door into a freezing pitch black late December evening, and yes Oxford was more than a little cold last Wednesday with a dusting of white powdered frost adhered to car windscreens. After a couple of minutes walking alongside a busy main road I made out the figure of someone small standing at a bus stop ahead, I have epilepsy and don’t drive so public transport being very good in Oxford, whichever direction I walked tonight I knew I’d come across one soon enough, then jump aboard a bus that’ll take me into town.
As I approached the bus stop lit only by a street lamp illuminating a dull orange glow onto the figure beneath, with every step forward the person became clearer, so much so by the time I reached the stop I could see she was in fact, yes a lady! Aged 40’ish with an attractive face, dark hair and Oxford being so multicultural these days I just knew she wasn’t English. Her appearance apart I also realised she was wearing a rather worried expression across her face and I think I understood why, several months ago, only 200 metres from this point a girl had been abducted and raped, so seeing her standing alone still surprises me even now because ever since the rape police have instructed women not to walk the streets alone at night, err maybe that’s why she was so nervous and visibly apprehensive. Thinking about it witnessing me approaching out of the gloom then stopping right in front of her must have been lol chilling, rapist or not I could have robbed verbally abused or assaulted her…………you should read the Oxford Mail, a lot’s been happening recently.
Writing here and now I’m unsure who struck up our conversation first, no idea and it doesn’t really matter or does it? Anyway acquaintances made for the next 15 minutes or so we made small talk, chatted about those inconsequential silly things in life that strangers talk about, you know how cold we were, the costs of living in Oxford, infrequent buses not running to schedule, ‘silly old me’ stories always so adorable……….. and as time ticked by she visibly relaxed, even smiling with occasional laughter. And we learnt a little more about each other such as she had a hard evening’s work ahead of her, apparently after taking a bus into town she then had to take a bus out again to one of the surrounding villages for what I can gather was her cleaning job, hard work and yes I was correct she wasn’t English, that’s fine by me btw, and at a guess I would say she was Spanish, I’m probably way off but she was of Mediterranean descent.
So there we were making small talk having a right ole jolly time, she’s friendly and personable and I’m being my usual polite self smiling and chatty. We’re told within three minutes we can judge whether we like someone or not and well I’m an open book, what you see is what you get, so know doubt by now she’d have worked out I’m a pleasant good natured guy and definitely never a threat, further still if someone nasty had approached I would have looked out for her.
After 15 minutes getting to know each other the bus comes into view stopping alongside us, surprising to me whilst boarding the bus she’s still chatting, then she pays seating herself several rows into the bus, I show my pass, follow and involuntarily as I always do, walk right past her sitting further at the rear. Yep I pass her by, happens all the time, nothing there you might think and you’re probably correct, always Correct! But on this occasion as the bus pulled away a feeling of dread flooded over me, should I have sat down next to her and carried on chatting? I think I should have, this evenings circumstances seemed a little different yet true to form, quite unwittingly I’d sat somewhere else, I hadn’t taken the chance to be well just sociable! What am I supposed to do now? Nervous is my character and I hadn’t meant anything by walking by…….. but too late now, f#ck, my indifference must have appeared rudeness. Yep I left her in peace our brief human interaction at an end, which after all ha been little more than relaxed social banter, and no doubt she’s happy and relieved not to be standing alone in the dark next to a road busy with cars driving past. ‘Yes’ I say to myself, she’s probably not given me a second thought sitting behind her. OR should I have taken the risk of overstaying my welcome by moving and sitting next to her? Bothering her have you will, annoying her, misreading an earlier human interaction as a brief encounter we all enjoy every single day and repeated thousands of times a day.
I should’ve sat next to her!!!!
Now please understand what I’m about to say next is intended as tongue in cheek, not at all to be taken seriously, but I ask what if she was the one? What if this friendly Spanish lady who’d enjoyed our safe convivial conversation moments earlier had been the ONE for me? What if she was sitting there a front of me hoping I’d sat alongside her continuing to chat where she’d left off, or perhaps she’d instantly forgotten me occupying her thoughts with the hard evening’s work ahead perhaps money to earn for her children’s Christmas presents? But of course I’ll never know will I, I never sat next to her, in order to find out what happens next in our lives we have to take emotional rational risks or you end up single middle aged lonely and living on your own………like me! I know lol sad in so many ways, I should have warned you but as I said I wasn’t going to write this post.
So all these evenings later let’s just put our warmth and friendliness down to Wednesday’s circumstances or whatever, as for saying maybe she was the one, think of that silly statement as all tongue in cheek. However true life brief encounters do happen and sometimes they do end in love, silly talk I know but if there is a moral to this tale then it must be “seize the day!”
Ok I know having thoughts dilemmas and questions such as these could drive a man insane, so just understand I’m an extremely sensible guy, all day everyday I talk with women, married or female students and I never confuse friendliness for romance, after all crossing paths or working with the fair sex is well life itself! I’m a chatty small talk sort of guy, whether the woman sat at a supermarket checkout or the young lady sat next to me on a train who shared her sweets on our journey to Leeds, (and note I wasn’t giving sweets to unknown women got make that clear lol these days!) Where was I , oh yes thoughts of interacting with women, happens all the time without thoughts of love ever entering my mind, but tonight this Spanish lady seemed, well a little different.
Perhaps her humour friendliness smiles and willingness to talk was shear relief! Perhaps she’d been frightened to death seeing me approach out of the gloom then breathed an almighty sigh of relief on seeing I was a nice guy, unthreatening and friendly her knowing Oxford is now such a dangerous City. But f#ck what if she’d hoped I’d sat down next to her, chatted for a few minutes longer, you never know this pleasant middle aged man may have made an impression on her by the time we’d reached our final destination? The trouble with me is I’m a hopeless romantic perhaps I’ve seen the movie ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ one tooo many times.
I know I know introspective thoughts like these are pointless and questions of ‘what might have been’ could like I said drive a man insane, but perhaps tonight has been a wake up call, a good lesson……….. hmmm me thinks it’s time I should take a walk in the fresh air!
…………….finally you may be wondering, ‘Andrew the lady you had sex with earlier, is she not your soul mate?’ Good question which deserves a non flippant answer……… I’d like to tell more but some things are better left unsaid except to say we should never confuse sex with being in love, to the point perhaps you shouldn’t have sex with someone unless you truly love them and vice versa….best I can do I’m afraid.’
Written last night, all very embarrassing 🙂 Andrew