Sexual Politics and childhood awakenings

Original and written by me Andrew

🙂 My promised London terrorism Posts will have to wait, you see I read an internet News story, as you do, became distracted and started writing about something completely different instead……..anyways I enjoyed myself which is all that counts.

I’ve a question for you. 

Am I unique or unusual or both never seeing a photograph of a fully nude woman until child age 10? Sleepy Town upbringing and all that!

Skip forward one year. Me age @11, my brother, Paul Townsend and his older sister Helen and a nameless girl I can’t remember, are standing inside my parents garden shed and Helen says “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”…………..SECONDS later my mother who had been listening outside, flings open the door and angrily says “all of you go to your homes” 😀 one minute longer I’d have seen a vagina, it would be three more years before another!……………..

(Helen and I started different schools soon after this incident!)

1 minute longer!!!! Why do I remember this story so vividly?

Hold on, don’t leave me yet that’s the tacky part over, this is a tale of first love childhood innocence and a Sex Ed. lesson I’d never forget. However my teacher left out one important ‘fact of life’, omitted something which took many years to find out, a fact that still angers me…………well it used to 🙂

Be aware this Post is not at all creepy or sordid, possibly not every ones cup of tea but it’s all very sweet and gentle, retelling one of those milestones in life you think about time to time, possibly prompted by a story of present day sexual politics like this one….. a World gone mad?

https://www.theinfong.com/2017/06/lady-banned-pool-inappropriate-swim-suit/

Is the Manageress correct? Is the bathing suit inappropriate? Would the children be mentally scarred for life misunderstanding it’s the adults who are over reacting? Is a butt tooo big for its bathing suit harmful to young minds?

Or am I the one at fault thinking she looks fine?

(Btw I have age 8 and 10 nephews, I get it! I also see the work my brother goes through with ‘locking’ passwords!)

Back to me never having seen a full frontal nude woman…………mollycoddled and all that, no interweb!

I don’t envy parents in 2017, a 10 year old if ‘unlocked’ could show his friends all manner of sordid pictures on his iPhone, picture a group of confused bewildered babes watching acts they shouldn’t be, or images no one should see in their lifetime, and all via school playground free WIFI. You think I’m joking?

😀 Returning to me! If you’re at all curious, back in the day I never came across photographs of a woman’s vagina until age 10, honest! My first time being in a Primary School’s ‘special events’ classroom consisting of 30 immature students listening incredulously to a sex education class taught by one Miss Aspley……….lol a wonderful woman!

Decades have passed now and most of my youthful memories, good and bad are forgotten, however I do remember being first aware of a female’s sexuality at age 10 but at the same thinking her attractive more than sexual. We can all roughly date our blossoming sexual maturity milestones can’t we? I remember taking a bath one evening, looking down and seeing my first pubic hair, honestly, an image burnt into my mind then stored in my brain’s picture folder.

Good that!

I do remember one unusual observation, discussing ‘hardness’ with my friend Martin Ashby age 10 though not understanding what they actually were for! No the only real memories captured by my imagination were for a certain teacher called Miss Aspley, she stirred first feelings of attraction, a childish love perhaps brought on by a sweet smile, a dress that looked nice, her pretty face who knows? But I know I liked her!……..And incidentally a model teacher in every way. 

Would Miss Aspley wearing a high cut pink bathing suit have corrupted my young mind?

A child’s first intellectual relationship in formative years is with their Primary School teacher, parents not withstanding. My Miss Aspley was bright, seemed to have answers to all life’s questions reading imaginative stories at end the day, and like with us all childhood literature stays with us for life. Miss was engaging firm amusing all attractive qualities irrespective of age and certain ‘bomb shell’ facts taught by her in class come back to me, true, and incidentally my mother met her many years later at a funeral and she’d a daughter of her own, and isn’t it written as gospel children will have a crush on their first teacher, or are we talking adolescents?

Where was I, oh yes reasons to be romantically attached to that special school teacher even children in early formative years and again I ‘loved’ Miss Aspley as much as a 10 year old can ahh. I never described her did I?

“Miss” was a tall slim fresh faced lady, thirtyish (old) classically English rose in appearance always most definitely wearing below the knee skirts and always conservatively dressed. Though I can’t recall her face I know for certain she was very pretty with long flame red hair as fine and straight as is possible to get, I’ve refrained from using the word elegance that gives visions of sophistication and remember I’m only 10! Pretty fits nicely.

Returning to a young child’s knowledge of sexuality, do women with big buts walking around swimming pools really have a bad influence on their minds? Common! I cannot remember a woman’s body remotely sexualised at age 10, honestly. Are things different now? Yes the internet and dark web!

My young nephew said “ouch you kicked me in the penis” when his brother hit him down there……………….and my mother swallowed hard!

So yes pretty Miss Aspley stirred inexplicable feelings of attraction, an immature sexual awakening , a warmth of feelings plus a little bit more. Whichever lol all I know is I did like her, knitted jumpers in winter buttoned to the neck blouses in summer, nothing ever remotely revealing perhaps I was just enchanted by her appearance and femininity, as far as a 10 year olds perception goes. Why do I recall my first crush so clearly? Yes there’ll be serious infatuation’s with educational goddesses in years to come, but Miss Aspley is remembered because she’s my first love, as an aside isn’t a girl’s first crush her best friends father?

So back to those 30 mixed sex pre pubescent children sitting cross legged on a coarse itchy carpet in the headmasters ‘special events’ classroom. Curtains were drawn, lights turned off Miss Aspley standing at the back operating a slide projector. I can vaguely remember thinking there was something special about today, anticipated, 30 suspicious bemused children or perhaps I’m looking back through rose tinted spectacles? So there we all are, seated gazing up at a stand alone white screen on the opposite side of the room……waiting!

And so the slide show begins with room hushed to total silence (unusual for 10 year olds)   Miss Aspley behind me narrating with her knowledgeable soft calmness, saying very little as black and white photographs passed before our eyes, dwelling longer on the reproductive diagrams AND THEN for the first time in my life I saw a photograph of a nude woman and her vagina, AN image that’s etched into my visual mind for all eternity, I see her face now yet many other Primary School memories are lost……so strange only particular photos remain for life! Neurons synapses fused visible for years to come.

Good that 😀 (only joking)

The nude young lady in the slide show hadn’t a particularly appealing face, bored even, a short woman with a typically English pear shaped figure wide child bearing hips and not in the least bit sexualised. As for her breasts, large, no drama here, I’d watched my neighbour Mrs H. breastfeed daughter number three plenty of occasions! …………. And again I can’t remember female breasts being sexualised at age 10, probably because I’d viewed them as producing milk keeping her infant alive.

Back to the swimming pool, a bathing suit? Really?

Don’t prompt me for any more facts gleaned from that Sex Ed. lesson because I remember little else, apart from that is, a photo of a tall naked gentleman with beard and glasses having a mass of jet back pubic hair surrounding his penis………again no big deal, unfortunately I’d caught glimpses of my father to understand hair sprouted from that region down below, yuck!!!!!

So there you, a life changing day for me at least, a Sex Ed. lesson over very quickly, we’re imparted the basics of reproduction, diagrams depicting a tadpole’s travels from testicle to egg via insertion of the bits, a series of un-sexy black and white photographs of the naked male and female human mammal, and again for reasons of a need to know basis I cannot remember the library having ANY sex education books.

Shouldn’t all childhoods be this way, a never to be forgotten lesson, a first attraction to a female but not understanding why? I’m back to Enid Blyton literature now……………..did you Google?

All in all my sex education lasted half an hour with NO questions and very much on message narration by ‘matter of fact’ Miss Aspley, but I do remember her as humourless without a hint of embarrassment and almost definitely bored witless. A brief memorable Sex Ed. lesson with graphic content little more than a series of photos (I think!) accompanied by sketchy diagrammatic theories of reproduction, no placing rolled up condoms on the tips of bananas, a fruit chosen for length diameter and curve, giggling excited children unfurling sperm barriers by use of their mouths. I’m KIDDING!!!

So there you are that was the breadth of my sexual knowledge for years and years to come and still amuses me till this day that I no comprehension of what a vagina looked like until age 10, if you’re interested the next was age 14 and only then after purchasing that copy of MAYFAIR from a boy in the sports hall changing room…………ahh but for one minute more…….remember Helen!

How times have changed…………………..horrifically for the worse, the dark web, abuse.

STIs and masturbation came years later, but annoyingly Miss Aspley said NOT a single WORD OF MASTURBATION, I had a right to be informed my body was capable of giving intense feelings of pleasure, special, safe enjoyable healthy for mind body and spirit, yes at age 10 she should have told me, but not a single word, I’m kept in the dark for years to come. Ignorance did have harmful consequences later in life and I’m still annoyed about that, I didn’t work out ‘how to’ for many years to come and not being told is inexcusable, even Biology at Secondary School was just as bad, 

A personal friend Emma says “I think I worked it out for myself ” hmm why didn’t I?

We should live our lives without fear of censorship shouldn’t we, education is empowerment, knowledge gives us judgement, lets us make informed decisions, corrects mistakes.

Tell children how to masturbate and the reasons why!!! Of course now I’d go to the NHS website but back in the day? ………..Word of mouth and a 4 channel TV set.

The internet, an innocence lost…………. 🙂 I get it!

So returning to my school lesson for one final time, Miss Aspley’s unwrapped and opened her Pandora’s box, 30 children have just realised adults have been keeping them in the dark and no harm was done. Sex Ed. lesson over, lights are switched on, curtains are drawn and this slim pretty lady with flame red hair walks calmly to the front of my class, stands by the white silk screen and as God is my witness I can remember thinking………….

‘Miss take all your clothes off!’ A sexual awakening if ever there was one 😀

The End.

© Andrew.

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My Fidget Pad toy, (2:2)

How time fly’s by, a few weeks ago I posted Andrew plays with himself featuring my new Amazon purchased Fidget Pad (with video), and now it’s nearing end of June already!

But not to worry here’s Part 2 and btw I’ve written something else which I’ll publish in a few days time (now in draft). Short story, I visited London last week and have a tale to tell.

A disclaimer, if you’ve read my blog before you may be relieved to know the day wasn’t about getting laid, I did have a casual liaison early June mind but that’s a whole different story! Ever heard the saying ‘there’s a first time for everything’, well when she took her bra off my eyes were drawn to two thin red lines beneath her breasts, she’d had implants hadn’t she, first time I’ve ever squeezed falsies!

My verdict? :/ Silicone is rather tooo firm for my liking, ok I guess but in my opinion natural is always best, as an aside why do women feel they have to go under the surgeons knife especially when sagging empty boobs are just as lovely ❀

Back to this damn Fidget Pad 😀

This’ll be a short post because I’m in two minds as to whether this over-hyped product is worth the expense, Fidgets pass the time, but my advice is if you’re gonna buy a Pad or Cube keep in mind you could get just as much fidgeting enjoyment from playing with a clothes peg…………you know the one with the metal spring.

I’m perhaps being a little disingenuous, these toys are very tactile and I do find myself fiddling with the buttons switches and rotating toggles whilst doing other things such as watching YouTube videos. But as for all those bold medical claims, I’m totally unqualified to say if Fidget Toys are a comfort to those with ADHD or Autism, I do hope so and wouldn’t it be interesting to hear what parents or medical experts have to say rather than just corporate Amazon.

Posts to come soon, Andrew

 

 

We have to learn to live together

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2 year old Ameer Hussein laying flowers near London Bridge

© London Evening Standard

I have to admit I was in two minds whether to write something after London’s Terror Attack, so much has already been broadcast and written about but then I came across this photograph of 2 year old Ameer Hussein laying flowers close to the scene. London Manchester and Britain must heal divisions after these horrendous attacks or there’s no hope is there? We have to remember Britain is a multicultural society, perhaps redress the balance with imagery, fewer pictures of Counter Terrorism Police and more photos reminding us that in order to move on Faiths have to learn to live together or at least coexist peacefully.

Andrew

 

 

Andrew plays with himself

(Call this Part 1. I just filmed the video AND thought why not make a start 🙂 )

Question. Do you have something you play with when you’re bored?

Of course the answer’s “YES!”

Only trouble is, it’s not socially acceptable to play with one’s genitals whilst sitting in the dentists waiting room is it? 😀 So we’re talking phew” toys!

(Mind you I have an ‘on-the-bus’ story I may share one day 😉 )

Ok if you watched MY YouTube video first you’ll have deduced I’m NOT talking tales of  pleasure, read my Posts and you’ll know I’m rather obsessed with that, no watch the video and you’ll know I’m referring tooo…….

Fidget Toys!

…..and unless you’ve been living under a stone you’ll know ‘Fidget Stress Toys’ are products designed by an American non profit Organisation for those suffering from anxiety or ADHD, or just as important to Play with!

To be continued………………………

© Video filmed by Andrew, narrated by Andrew, uploaded on my YouTube, apologies for a rather short Post, call this an Intro 🙂 )

Andrew 🙂

She played La Valse d’Amelie for me

:/ Shows how long I’ve been away from WordPress, a lady I used to Follow I’ll refer to as P is now a married woman! Yep 3 months ago she was a blogging single mum of five children then yesterday evening I read her most recent Post and she’s sharing photographs of her new wedding, lovely pictures of a happy smiling couple holding hands exchanging wedding rings and she’s dressed in virgin white which would make her smile if she read this. Of course I wrote a sincere comment congratulating her and wishing them both well, truly I’m so pleased because she used to be such an unhappy blogger and seeing her visibly in love really brightened up my day.

Just shows life is too short to be wasting time feeling sorry for yourself (Andrew), you may have guessed the saying ‘seize the day’ came to mind, Wow! lady P is now married, who’d have thought!

A different blogger I still read time to time, a wise middle aged lady named S once wrote something I’ve never forgotten, you know one of those memorable life quotes that stick in the mind probably because they personally resonate, usually applicable to oneself. In fact the quote has resided in one of my Draft Posts for six months. Perhaps I thought one day I’ll write about lady S’s thoughts, well you guessed looking at P’s wedding pictures yesterday brought her saying back to mind. Shall I share? Remember I’ve never forgotten:

A friend ………becomes a lover……..becomes a wife

Such a crystal clear incisive piece of writing don’t you think? Read again and the sentiment therein appears so logical, love’s Holy Grail, the secret to a long lasting blissful happiness and perhaps she conjures images in your own mind, people you’ve known throughout your life, opportunities relationships you may have missed out on ….or ACTED upon 🙂 .

Read a second time and you’ll perhaps agree this lady’s blogged message cannot be transposed in order to work, let me explain. Let us say two lovers become matrimonial husband and wife, HOWEVER imagine they were not friends to begin with, will their relationship last?

Transpose again. First keep in mind sex is a bonding mechanism throughout nature between two mammals. Now our two friends have become husband and wife however they were virgins before marriage and didn’t have sex thereafter, happens! Even though a deep friendship made for a happy marriage would could it fail because of the absence of sexual fulfilment? Especially if one more than the other desperately needed intimacy? Perhaps failure is the wrong word and unhappy marriage is nearer the truth?

…… 😀 by now you’ll have worked out my final math life conundrum. If two friends become lovers however their lustful consummation didn’t blossom into marriage, if two sexually attracted friends (note could be same sex) met only for fabulous f*cking, with no thoughts of marriage, no long term commitment, again would the relationship ever last? Probably not, a relationship based purely on sex seems shallow loveless and bereft of happiness.

So lol do you now understand my preoccupation with an order that cannot be broken transposed? For a relationship to work, ‘a friend becomes a lover becomes a marriage’, is a path you must follow and theoretically the answer is you discovered your soulmate.

Back to Lady’s S’s shared wisdom.

Am I wrong here? Can you understand why I’ve never forgotten this lady’s prophetic words? Ok her reply to my long forgotten comment is a simplistic phrase taken from romantic paperback fiction but I think she’s correct and I’ll never be convinced otherwise.

I’m SO curious? What did I write warranting her reply?

So I hear you ask what has a YouTube video of a young lady playing Amelie on piano got to do with all my nonsense? Nothing 😀 except I’ll tell you I’ve been making a nuisance of myself around YouTube, I have my own little Channel don’t you know.

Well short story I follow a lady pianist because she’s both beautiful and I adore listening to her play people’s requests, and because La Valse d’Amelie is a favourite of mine and the talented lady asks for requests, I suggested this tune and she played it for me……..well I like to imagine just for me either way her piano playing video was at my suggestion plus I’m a sucker for a gorgeous face.

Andrew 🙂

Re. Goals for my YouTube Channel, also blog Post

Alyssa just to back up the comment I left on your YouTube Vlog 🙂 here’s a brief quick message. Short story, I stopped ‘blogging’ (loosest sense of the word) because I guess I well ran out of ideas, then I didn’t write for a few days, which became a week, which became a month, three!………………. and before you know it I’d finished………..shame really 😩

(This Blog Andrew was well received as in likes and comments which was nice and my Posts are supremely honest, much like your Vlog, however I’m not to be over-thought about, more airport paperback than word weighty literature……no heavy topics just hopefully Posts that amuse and interest).

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X-ray of a human skull, not mine read on!

…………..and a blog Post.

Here’s a thing, perhaps I will write something today, like at present I’m signed off six weeks from work because I tripped walking across Market Square, hit my head on the pavement and fractured my cheek bone in four places!!! One fracture depressed as well. But I’ll survive 🙂

Then I was driven by ambulance to Oxford’s A and E Hospital where I spent 10hours being X-rayed, cut stitched and importantly observed because I’d suffered a blow to the head :/ I say 10hours, but that’s ok I’m NOT complaining, our National Health Service is a wonderful British Institution, where if required you can visit and see skilled Doctors and Surgeon’s, who’ll assesse and treat you and the care is absolutely free. But I’m afraid the 10hours waiting time is synonymous with an overstretched underfunded health service but again that’s ok I’m happy to wait my turn 🙂

Incidentally for all you morons who voted for BREXIT, our Health Service workers namely cleaners Doctors Nurses Surgeons are employed from right across the globe……every Country under the sun…….shame on you for voting out.

That’s enough Politics 🙂

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United Kingdom ambulance

On the bright side, there I was sitting on a bed with curtains pulled around and every fifteen minutes a nurse would ‘pop-in’ lol to check I was compos mentis and still in the land of the living……….jury’s out on whether I was interesting to speak to but seriously they were lovely and all under age 25? What about that then! I ain’t no perv btw.

And I forgot to tell you all three ambulance Paramedics were ladies and one of them looked like she could have been a supermodel, tall slim beautiful hair tied in a bun, but seriously all caring humane professional delightful young women………and very amusing which I guess helps relax injured patients.

Photo’s of Oxford’s wonderful ‘John Radcliffe Hospital’

Joking apart the experience wasn’t fun, fracturing cheek bones ISN’T funny it’s f*cking painful and incidentally the first bones I’ve broken in my whole life, not to be advised either because whatever the writing on the packet says pain killing tablets don’t work!

Forgot to say I need dental work as well! All due to the fact I hit my head so hard a filling shot out! :/ Sounds expensive.

Moving forward two days I attended the John Radcliffe Hospital again as an Outpatient at their ‘Oral Reconstruction Fracture Clinic’ where, huge sigh of relief, I was told by a lovely male Swiss Doctor I wouldn’t require Surgery………. God that was great News because a friend of my mums’ went into the same Hospital for Spinal Surgery and came out infected by an MRSA Hospital Superbug.

You see Great Britain’s operating theatres are gripped by these f*****g drug resistant superbugs and the world’s running out of antibiotics, it’s scary to think there’s only two drugs left which work…………hope to God more are developed……Companies are working on it!

Btw I’m not being flippant, the fact we’re running out of antibiotics that work could pose…..well you get the idea. China feeding them to livestock doesn’t help!

One photo the Swiss Doctor did show me on his computer monitor was the X-ray of my skull, the one taken at my visit to A and E, at one point in the consultation he looked at me with a smile and said,

“Pretty cool don’t you think?”

“YES :)” I replied gleefully, just Google they’re well impressive 😼

And yes IT was!!! Only wish I could have a j-peg copy as souvenir but I didn’t ask, these busy specialists have more important things to worry about than blogs lol………..still my skull’s four white fracture lines were quite impressive……………..LOL shows how ill I am!!!

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My blue and white stripy deckchair

So that’s enough writing for today, sun’s out and I’m going back out into my garden with glass of chilled apple juice to hand and sit in my ‘blue and white’ stripy deck chair enjoying the sun’s warmth on my face, I love that……..seriously though I think I’ve been a lucky boy, my head injury could have been a lot LOT worse 😩

Andrew 🙂

Omg it’s only started raining!!!! (and btw that’s not poetic license, it has!)