Upskirt. I’m sure I witnessed a crime, should I have said something?

Adult themes. Note the photographs below featuring ladies riding escalators are Google Imaged and if the text is anything to go by originates from some ‘perverted’ website. Honest! And I can assure you I’ve chosen them for dramatic effect only and anyways you can’t see her upskirt knickers :/ which means the image isn’t indecent.

In my defence this post isn’t quite how it possibly first appears. 😀 I’ve had an eventful few days please read on!

Upskirt
Google Image

Have you ever had one of those days when you’ve witnessed something so shocking, an act

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Blackberry and Walnut Squares (recipe)

A baking post for you and change from my sometimes silly tales. 🙂 the cake recipe courtesy of a blogger by the name of Lisa and her very own recipe, and you’ll of course be aware blackberries are in season in the UK at present.

So without further ado here’s a list of ingredients and method of making the cake (note it’s crumbly and a bit difficult to get out the tin) also I took a series of photographs to follow……….pictures always help in cook books and a video post will follow next.

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:/ So what DOES a mum’s breast milk taste like?

© Andrew (For some reason the post has repeated itself in the Reader?)

:/ If little else my post themes are out of the ordinary 😀 and I’m aware they may not be everyone’s ‘cup of tea’, but I enjoy writing them and some people enjoy reading them so all’s good and I have so much respect for the fair sex!. ❤

TRUTHFULLY I HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT MOTHER’S MILK ACTUALLY TASTES LIKE?

dfa88e4dfad578e1_bmilk-main.xxxlarge_2xHere’s a question you’ll have asked your mum at some point in your life, “was I breastfed as a baby?” Well I only ever asked my mother once and she replied “NO NEVER!!” …………..Fair enough 😀

Which makes me wonder if being bottle fed formula milk is the reason I have a womanly breast fixation, then again ALL men have a weakness for those milky warm bundles of fun! But being serious for a sec’ I follow a lovely lady on YouTube who’s extremely unhappy men sexualise breasts, forgetting their sole purpose in life is lactating milk to keep babies alive and grow up healthy………………… 😀 and you wonder why I’m so darn confused!

Braless 2I’ve a breastfeeding story for you, now bare in mind last time I wrote a post titled breastfeeding I got myself into all sorts of trouble, in-fact I deleted the post because I upset a lady from NY USA called Cara, so then I posted an apology only to be chastised yet again by a lady name of Paola from West Germany, women you just can’t win! 🙂

But being serious for a second Paola was quite correct a writer should never apologise for the ‘fruits of his labour’, if readers aren’t impressed with my work then please tell me because I enjoy feedback.

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Niqab

woman wearing a niqab

I feel a little ashamed with myself this evening, partly due to my usual weariness and tired frame of mind after a hard days work, often at about this hour melancholy creeps in swiftly turning to unhappiness, but don’t leave me quite yet because I have something rather important to say. Let me explain the reasons for this evening’s despondency a little more clearly shall I, yes it doesn’t take much to upset me these days, negative thoughts, a

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OMG I’M CUMMING (a response for………)

Original and © Andrew 

JFF and certainly not to be taken tooo literally or heaven forbid seriously……………….. note there’s no hate no nudity (well a little) no pornography and as I’ve written before 🙂 in the unlikely event you’re under 16 why not go and play a computer game, it’ll be more fun than reading this (hopefully entertaining) silliness!

If you’d like to understand how and why this very bizarre post came about ‘click here’, in my opinion a read should help explain all in less than three minutes, then again after reading you may say wtf and not bother coming back 😀 ………………… are you back? Hope so!

I’ll refrain from cross referencing belle’s post and reply to her questions instead, I’ll tell you my own masturbation story in my own words and in my opinion her’s is far better than mine anyway…………..Jeez takes me an age to begin!news1-1

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Susie Dent’s video guide to swearing…….

A light hearted post for lovers of the English spoken word © Andrew

Recently Susie Dent (I’ll explain who she is further down) was approached by her employers ‘Channel 4 television’ to research and narrate a series of videos for YouTube, incidentally a website you’ll find me when I’m not hanging around WordPress, the TV company asked Susie to make several videos tracing the origins of what’s commonly referred to as English swear words.

Now before you leave me, I agree the words C**T S**T and F**K shouldn’t be used in everyday conversation! However remember you’ll find each word, also their countless meanings usage and definitions in the English dictionary so they are as relevant as any other in the English Language, and in the case of the highly taboo C**T this swear word can be traced back many hundreds of years.

So yes I’d agree with you if you said swearing is awful uncouth and lazy, but as someone who regularly uses the F bomb I quite enjoyed watching the linked videos narrated and produced by the gorgeous and very VERY sexy Susie Dent.

Btw doesn’t she have a fabulous voice!

So who is Susie Dent I hear you ask?

Here in the UK we have a very popular daytime quiz show called ‘Countdown’, but don’t worry about the show, enough to say the game revolves around choosing unknown consonants and vowels so as to make up a dictionary word, the longer the word you come up with the more points you win! Btw I don’t watch television! Awful invention!

Returning to my original question, Susie Dent is an English lexicographer and etymologist and resident expert in Countdown’s ‘Dictionary Corner’, incidentally until this evening I didn’t know what an etymologist did for a living, which is a pretty disgraceful admittance for anyone who likes to call themselves a blogger!!!

Etymologist def. – studies the history of words, their origins, and how their form and meaning have changed over time.

You may be aware I’m a little obsessed with women on Blog Andrew, the majority of my posts seem to derive from observing the fair sex and her femininity ……….oh and not forgetting my sex life! Perhaps it’s because I’m single that I find women so captivating and fascinating creatures, :/ yet they confuse and mystify me in equal measures? So if any reader wondered who Andrew’s ideal woman is, I know you don’t but humour me, Susie Dent is the lady who quickens my pulse and makes ‘me hard and my bits tingle’.

Now I’ll refrain from being over familiar and coarse in this JFF post except to say in my humble opinion intelligence is an appealing and very sexy quality in a woman and Susie has sex appeal in abundance! 

I digress, where was I? Oh yes Ms. Dent, if you stopped a man in the street and asked him to describe Susie Dent they’d probably say Countdown first and ‘thinking man’s crumpet’ second, and for all you bloggers who reside outside the UK the word ‘crumpet’ refers to ‘a sexually attractive lady!’

Thinking man’s crumpet def. –  a humorous term for a person who is popular with the opposite sex because of their intelligence and their physical attractiveness.

Countdown
COUNTDOWN – Susie Dent
Countdown
COUNTDOWN – Susie Dent

…….. and now the very English swear word B****Y!

………and now for Susie Dent’s ‘The Real Origins of C**T!

Andrew 🙂

R.E.M. – Everybody Hurts

©R.E.M. – Everybody Hurts

While ‘scrolling through’ and reading a lady’s written blog posts I happened across ‘Everybody Hurts’ and I guess because the song’s quite old now, I hadn’t listened in a while, then I remembered I’d bought the album CD (what’s one of those I hear you ask) when first released.

The album’s ok 🙂 , honest of me 🙂 For ALL of us certain songs are memorable, for personal reasons the lyrics may embed in our consciousness, lyrics we’ll never forget, who knows why emotions are experienced by some and not others except the affect can be quite profound.

Well ‘Everybody Hurts’ for me is one of those songs. Enjoy 🙂

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Erotica. Pretty girl on a train pt1 (age 25!)

Please comment if you’ve had enough.

Original story written by ©Andrew only wish (big sigh) this one was true!

151-rockwell-girl-on-bus

English summer’s traditionally begin mid June and end early October, I should qualify with a usually lasts that long! So more often than not our summer days of decent weather lasts longer than people overseas may imagine, of course we don’t get months of hot searing heat radiating from white hot suns, no there’ll be few of those, but interspersed they’ll be many more wet windy and cold winter’s days, for example, days such as in this little tale. If you were riding this railway carriage with myself, a day’s excursion on the North York Moors, you’ll hear no end of well known British weather sayings, may even be one such as this,

“Winter’s come early”, said the young lady sitting on a cushioned seat near opposite me, her abruptness waking me out of my contemplative day dream, “pardon miss”, I replied with a shocked start!

“Winters’s come early”, she repeated pushing her arms and shoulders forward, fondly smiling, making out she was shivering and I’d guess pressing clenched hands deep into her lap. I say guess because a large wooden table fixed to left side of the carriage obscured my view of her waist down.

Such a strange involuntary reaction shivering, I wonder if it really helps one warm chilled frozen stiff muscles?

The young lady continued smiling at me, and don’t you find the timespan for a smile represents how greatly a lady likes you, what she wishes from you in return? Too short and she’s forcing herself to make small talk, too long and she’s really into you or is that soppy old Andrew reading too much into feminine flirtations again, when a lady starts to talk to me I fall in love. Happens a lot, I go all submissive puppy-like instantly wishing wanting needing her.

I returned a smile this time going one step further looking into her eyes, and now I’m inwardly panicking having been caught off guard, nervously I answered with possibly the lamest most awful reply known to man, wait for it!

“Yes but the weather man on the radio said it’ll brighten up by this afternoon”, when really I wanted to say something very different, my eyes glancing below her chin for a spilt second then lower still, returning upwards re capturing her gaze.

Oh yes what I really wanted to say to this pretty girl, not beautiful as in a makeup model straight from Vogue magazine beautiful, no she was very much the pretty girl next door type, lovely delightful appealing with curly long brunette hair resting atop her shoulders, ah recalling the actual question crossing my mind. me now feeling the very end of my dick tingle and twitch, shaft hardening to the point of feeling slightly uncomfortable inside tight jeans! what I really wanted to say was,

‘honey why are you not wearing a bra?’

I hadn’t caught notice of the ladies face or her bosom till a little way into our journey, the train had stopped at Gothland Station I clambered aboard, crossing a grubby green carpeted aisle, my legs touching brushing past her jeans on the way, making mental note she’s wearing walking boots, then plonking myself down on the seat by the window! I hadn’t given the lady a second glance really.

Well that’s untrue, seated I looked across for the briefest of moments, enough to see her head was bowed, I assume concentration etched across her face reading a map (hold that thought), then getting my act together I layed my belongings out on the table, sighed rather loudly then gazed out the window watching the incredible scenery pass before my eyes, only then after a couple of minutes did I turn my head in the direction of my female traveller, only then did I notice that her walkers rain coat was unzipped open exposing two mounds of a rather large breasts, within tight navy blue tee shirt I might add!

So of course my attention’s magnetically drawn to her rather prominent nipples pointing through the soft stretchy cotton, oh yes I noticed those two alright! Walking boots and an outdoor coat all indicate she was a hiker and here’s the payoff just like me, I’m virtually dressed the same without hard nipples.

The train pulls away and slowly rumbles its way through beautiful rain sodden countryside, flat and dark green only spongy heather for vegetation. Now comfortably settled with rucksack on the seat beside me, heritage train book and packed lunch an arms length away in front on the table, we rocked and rolled through a picture perfect beautiful landscape that attracts people from across the globe, yet on cold wintry summer days such as these, a low grey cloud, a persistent deluge of heavy rain meant we were the only two souls in the carriage.

Though hold on a second! Listening to a hushed chatter from what sounded like a young woman also muffled occasional squeals of laughter from a child we were NOT alone, a voice of slightly higher pitch making the number five pop into my mind. A girl of five years old, I guess a mother and daughter were seated at the very far end on a day out like us two strangers.

Anyways the change in weather meant only we four travelled today in a carriage pulled by this gruff throaty diesel engine, 1960’s, preserved for tourists in seek of nostalgia.

We trundled our way through rural Yorkshire me time to time glancing across our shared light coloured oak table, and looking about the rail car the whole interior was a soft golden hew, where was I? Voyeurism, every sixty seconds or so out of the corner of my eye I’d glance across at her breasts again jiggling side to side up and down, they were large enough to notice and certainly enjoyable to watch, bouncing higher when a carriage jumped two connecting rails, and I’d say round enough to know they’re more than a handful when holding one up, though now positioned a good couple of inches above her tummy, made no secret this I’d guess age 25 pretty young lady had boobs on the bigger side.

I thought to myself she should really be wearing a bra because they’re just that little too heavy not to be supported, in a few years when she reaches thirty they’ll drop, sag to not far above her belly button, but they’ll still look adorable parting a resting position well to sides of her chest still looking sexy as older woman’s boobs do, I nearly said to her ‘you’ll only ever get sexy cleavage again by wearing a Wonderbra’, I didn’t!

Anyways as you’ll have deduced by now my attention is drawn to her boobs rather than spectacular scenery, then totally out of the blue she looks up from the map she’s interestedly following and beams me such a sweet smile and saying,

To be continued…………

©Andrew

Sheltering in a Cemetery out of the rain!

I don’t have a problem church cemeteries, in-fact I quite like them!

Don’t go yet! This isn’t Andrew becoming all morbid and depressing on you, 🙂 nope my blog is a positive happy blog where religion controversy and death are banned! Sex nature and photography yes! I’m here to hopefully be interesting, make you smile or subject you to my silly stories.

Whilst walking into Town early this afternoon the heavens suddenly opened and I became ensnared captured by a torrential rainstorm, now catch 22 if I about turned and went home I’d get soaked, if I carried on I’d get just as wet, so I thought sod it and soldiered on through the rain into Town.

One silver lining to my cloudy story was bumping into my neighbour from around the corner. She’s a lovely lady, a plain Jane but then I’m no Richard Gere, she’d gotten caught in the rain as well but even worse, as a woman who wears bras to small for her bust size, she looked as though she’d just come from a wet tee shirt competition, and by the look at her bosom she’d just won!

m 015
Saint Mary’s church cemetery Witney Town

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Pregnant in maxi-dress and lookin sexy?

c441705897f69c9b98a0aa237e5dee0eA post inspired by a pregnant woman who smiled at me as we passed each other walking along the lane that joins my home to Town. (July 2017)

Also prompted by a News story from America, apparently there was a little controversy (‘noise there’s always noise’ a quote 🙂 ) when a viewer branded anchor woman Laura Warren’s baby bump ‘disgusting’ by voicemail, I know I’m baffled to?

A question for you. In polite society is a guy allowed to say a pregnant lady can look sexy? Or is thinking let alone admitting a definite no no.

I’m not fishing for compliments here, this question genuinely honestly crosses my mind time to time, say as I’m commuting to work on the bus bored out of my mind.

The celebrity pictured below (who?) is ‘with child’ and in my learned opinion she is quite a few weeks in and not long till giving birth? And well I think she has a very sexy figure however she’s carrying someone inside so am I coming across as a little bit pervy? Don’t mean to!

Blog intermission, bit like those ice cream breaks you used to get at the cinema if you’re old enough to remember!

Quick update to my erotica tale, btw there won’t be another, you just DON’T know how much that post took out of me, I finished part 3 and thought OMFG 9 erotic fantasy writers have liked, Jeez, what if my story’s an ‘anti-climax’? Not to worry my erotic tale went ‘down’ well however I won’t be revealing fact from fantasy……….. 🙂 I’ll leave you to guess.

Intermission over.

Pregnant in maxi dress 2Returning to pregnant ladies, as I’ve told you I was walking into Town along the lane that crosses the Common and not far into my housing estate one sunny July morning all of a sudden I see a lady by herself walking toward me wearing a full length black maxi dress, you know the ones, they’re made like a long sock out of stretchy cotton fabric and it NEVER ceases to amaze me a maxi dress clings to every part of a ladies body as if spray painted on!

My guess is it takes a confident woman to wear one because they show every lump bump and curve of her body, the complete outline of her figure. Anyways she’s coming toward me and I’m sorry but I cannot not take my eyes from staring, not at her boobs hips waist through to the mound of her ‘you know what’ which is very clear to see, probably one of the sexiest dresses known to man, however I wasn’t looking at her figure I was kinda staring at her bump!

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