Please bare with me on this post, this isn’t an essay debating the rights and wrongs of Boxing, this post is little more than sharing photographs and videos taken on a very recent evening out……………oh and with narration of course.
‘All tits and ass’ ring card holding girl (right) but alas I didn’t photograph the ladies from my evening out, I forgot, too busy lol looking at them. Btw if you hadn’t already guessed, they inform the male audience as to the round number they’re about to watch………………….. I’ll say NO more!
😀 Notice how I omitted the word Boxing from my Title? Now hold on don’t run, I understand why sport and Boxing are unpopular, but you may wish to see my private photographs from the other evening. I enjoyed myself which is the point to earning money isn’t it, we earn to yes live but also to have fun. But important to me, whilst watching live boxing for the first time ever I sat there questioning whether striking another person in the name of sport is justifiable, also I questioned should the public really be enjoying the experience of watching two people fight which is morally unjustifiable?
So yes I did learn something about myself October 7th, I enjoyed the spectacle but I’m uncomfortable with calling physical violence Sport even though both opponents are in the ring of their own free will. But if you were to ask, I enjoyed the Boxing.
I‘ll add one final personal caveat, boys and girls boxing clubs exist up and down the land and ALWAYS in deprived cities and poverty stricken societies. You’ll not find a club in rural Oxfordshire, however in the East End of London you will, several!
Here’s an example of the type of area we’re talking of, one week after I watched the contest, in exactly the same area but metres from York Hall a girl was sexually assaulted on THREE separate occasions in the space of one hour, and by 6 different men the final assault being a rape. An awful place to live and an awful place for a child to grow up in. Boxing offers a way out!
Boxing clubs exists in deprived parts of cities where no one wishes to live and yet they have to, my justification is a Boxing club will teach children the disciplines of physical exercise, diet and looking after yourself and is that so bad? These kids have little education will not be going to college or University, they have zero prospects and I’m of the opinion these Clubs offer children camaraderie, an interest, a safe place to train meet friends, and be around adults who will teach them the difference between right from wrong. Yes they fight but they live in a big bad world.
Here endeth my lesson 🙂 .
I went to watch my heroine Chantelle Cameron Box, enjoyed myself and lol she is one tough woman yet a lovely personality with it, you might say the ideal girlfriend, pretty no doubt a great lay being so fit and all, and she’ll look after you when the s##t hits the fan! Chantelle won her fight in under 2 minutes, both girls left the ring in good health and one day she’ll retire from the sport a very rich woman…………………. hopefully. We both understand the dangers and yes 2 minutes was short but there were 8 other fights to watch.
11 photos I ‘snapped’ and in chronological order from her entering the hall to fighting in the ring.
(This post is themed coincidences and isn’t erotic fiction. Btw not everything I write reaches Blog Andrew!)
Before I begin this true tale I have an admission, I have to be honest, I’ve known about the existence of these Google Street photos (of my home above) for quite some time, so it’s not as if I’m about to let you in on something that happened yesterday!
Only tonight as I was musing over whether to write a post about my favourite sex position namely The Cowgirl, which could even be titled The Lazy Cowgirl position, but the lady was riding me so energetically that Cowgirl it is! But then I thought writing about Sex positions seems a god awful idea for a post (just wait a week!)
Have you ever gazed at an innocuous unremarkable photograph and thought ‘there’s something more to this picture than meets the eye’, well I experience this feeling EVERY time I gaze at these Google photos of my home, right up until this evening I’d think to myself that white car is relevant to MEE! But why?
Well tonight yet again I was looking at the Google Street photos and these visions of the cowgirl sex position kept flitting across my mind, and all I can say is I’m glad I’m not married or I’d have some serious lying to do because now I know WHY!
The event in question, the Google Pics, takes place early summer 2016!
Let me explain, I’d look at my little home on Google Street time to time, use the widgets and pointers to virtually ‘drive-by’, you’ve all done it, and so strange to see my new double glazing and stone shingle front garden. However when I logged on to the app using my Tablet I couldn’t get the question out of mind,
Who on earth owns that white MINI cabriolet parked
directly outside my house?
Further still, the MINI must have some connection to myself because it’s parked half on the pavement and my estate is like a ghost Town, no one comes here! I’d look at my digital screens thinking, ‘well none of my neighbours own a MINI’, ‘no one I know is hipster enough to own a cabriolet car’, ‘so who on earth owns it?’
“OH MY GOD!” I shouted, and you may have deduced I’d worked out who the owner was and yes I knew her, she was a lady called Sophie and at the same time Google drove past my house taking photographs, Sophie and I were in bed together. Incidentally the window directly above the MINI is my front bedroom and you can’t see but curtains were drawn,
……….and God’s honest truth, as the Lord is my witness, on my collie dog Holly’s life, at about the same time as these pictures were taken, could have been the same time Sophie was sat on my hips. Yep you read that right, squeezing her tits with both hands as Sophie bounced up and down ‘on me’ like a good girl (age 30!) 🙂 I love Cowgirl sex.
Sophie and I were in bed the moment that photo was taken. For certain
How’s that for a coincidence plus I’m so pleased I’ve finally solved my puzzle! 😛 Because I know for fact whilst Sophie’s MINI was outside my house we were in bed together, and yes to answer my own question there IS a little more to these pictures than first meets the eye! Sophie was a casual lover found on the internet and the fact we’re in bed at the same time as Google drove past is pretty amazing! Amazing to me!
Original post by Andrew. (Photos and video taken at a live event will appear in a future post.)
Disclaimer. I have a love hate relationship with boxing, on the one hand both thrilling and exciting to watch a fighting sport however I understand completely why non boxing fans describe fighting as brutal in humane, but hold on a second the young men and women who choose to fight as a career do of their own free choice.
A casual pastime of mine is following boxing, I’m a boxing fan through and through, I watch live televised fights on any broadcasting platform I can tune into and follow all the fight news on YouTube, so there you are call this post ‘one fact about me’, you’re either non plussed, bored or perhaps a little annoyed or angry?
You see boxing isn’t liked by everyone, definitely not, it divides not only sporting opinion but also prompts questions of one’s morality, how could someone enjoy watching two people legally punch each other in the head till one drops to the floor concussed, or more likely a points win, not forgetting the two boxers could be just as well be women, and that divides public opinion even further!
Hmm see what I mean, now you’re hopefully a little annoyed you’ve been reading a blogger who on one hand admits he adores all women whatever their age looks and size of tits, yet I’m happy to watch two ladies fight! Now hold on, I ask myself questions like should boxing be banned quite often and more IMPORTANTLY should I enjoy watching two people fight in the name of sporting entertainment!
In my opinion boxers are truly heroic and courageous human beings and I don’t use those two words lightly! Just imagine for a second that two people climb in the ring, boxing gloves to hand and before the bell rings they know by the end of the fight there’s a chance one could be punched in the head suffering concussion, as a man who suffers from the brain disease epilepsy I understand all to well repeated blows to the head can cause permanent brain damage.
I’ll watch a televised fight at home on my TV and enjoy the physicality of a thrilling contest, I guess much the same as the Roman’s did 2000 years ago watching gladiators at the coliseum and the only answer I can give you is a love of brutality lies deep within a human’s DNA, am I wrong? Just take a look at the horrors perpetrated in the World today, human beings are capable of evil acts so why not allow them to channel their aggression into sport?
Chantelle is the lady in white and just look at the expression on her face, neither hate nor anger, she’s using her fighting skills to win, not for the greater good of the sport no she’s trying to win and if she keeps winning boxing bouts then she’ll retire a millionaire and hopefully with her health intact and I for one say good luck to her. I’m a succour for a pretty face lol and have followed her since she missed out on qualifying for the 2016 Olympics, long story but she misheard the bell from another ring and layed an illegal punch on her opponent!
Chantelle on the right and btw she one her fight in fact she’s undefeated……… a tough tough young lady boxing’s a brutal sport.
Chantelle (below) in the ring with her current Trainer ShaneMcGuigan (wearing grey)
“Happiness is a life choice. We choose to be happy or not.”
Me as a young man playing snooker on an evening out with friends!
Blogging is but a reflection of real life!Write a sexy story then publish on the internet, accompany with a semi nude selfie holding one’s ‘bits & bobs’, and the viewings go through the roof! (The roof for me is probably less than you imagine 🙂 ). Yet write a thoughtful post discussing the moral rights and wrongs of men fighting each other wearing boxing gloves and lol the post sinks without trace! However no real surprises or revelations there, after all the human being is a sexual animal and he loves to read tales of love and fantasy, but as regards boxing, perhaps I won’t return to my day out in London, so here’s a family picture post in its place. 🙂
Btw I’m not in a sad mood, reflective that’s all.
More bad News for you, there’ll be no more nude photos WordPress removed my selfie, you know the photo of me laying on a bed semi nude fondling my balls. However I have NO complaints, WP are extremely accommodating allowing Adult themed material but a Blogger has to take care, too explicit and he’ll find himself in hot water.
Being serious for a second I’ve been dipping into my family photo album once again, and happened upon this image from 20+ years ago, takes me back I can tell you! The back story is a work colleague and dear friend took the picture just as I was about to strike the Snooker ball, and because we’re talking pre digital camera the photo had to then be scanned hence the grainy image!
Hmm, so where have all those in between years gone? Looking at that young man again I’d guess he had hopes dreams and ambitions, that by age 45+ he’d be in good health, have a well paid job, drive a nice car, own his own house, married to a wife with children, and what of present day? Well I’m employed though with a boss no one really likes even though I try my best, I have epilepsy consequently I don’t drive, I own my home, I’m single which upsets me everyday of my life, I don’t have children, and incidentally whilst I’ve been writing this post I’ve just had a thought, perhaps having side stepped fatherhood needs addressing in a future post?
However on the positive side I’ve led a good clean and blameless life, I’m in reasonable health (could be better but then we all think that), my mum is well, my brother’s happily married with two fantastic boys who are adorable, intelligent, amusing, kind, happy and morally upstanding young men, though growing up all tooo quickly! So as a family we haven’t anything to complain about, by that I mean to say my cousins uncles aunts mother younger sibling and myself seem to led happy contented lives, and no one’s disgraced the family name (yet). But sadly I also shouldn’t forget I’ve lost four wonderful Grandparents along my journey…………a good time to pause Andrew.
Looking back, I’d love to have achieved more with my life but then don’t we all say that? I’d love to be living with a woman instead of casual sex, which incidentally I’m totally bored with, but here’s a sobering thought I’ve recently been told 😀 to my face, note in jest!
“Andrew be careful what you wish for because………….” And yes I did understand her affirmation. But my answer will always be ‘no man is an island, we all need to love and be loved’ even though relationships are a rocky road to navigate. Yes sex on tap would be fabulous, marriage lol, the trouble is sexual intercourse is neither fun nor fulfilling without love connection and intimacy, I’ve been there, and truthfully I would have much preferred a cup of tea with the various ladies!
So as to finish on an upbeat tone, I’ll be truthful and say I’m happyish, I have a lot to be thankful for, I’m certainly not one to wallow in discontentment or feel sorry for myself, and firmly believe the secret to enjoying the next 20 years is totally in my control. The choice to be happy or not is mine to make! The ball’s in my court so to speak.
So Andrew where will you be in 20 years time? Hmm there’s a question.
Adult themes? I don’t think so, we’ve ALL played with our 😉 ‘willies’ and ❤ ‘kitties‘ since the day we can remember.
“Well do you? I do!”
A tale of playing with myself and dreaming of Amanda! (Erotica)
To answer the question posed in a previous post, the story tale or poem either stimulates the mind and the genitals or it doesn’t, the picture adds to the mood. 🙂
Come late evening, tired verging on sleepiness, I’ll stand beside my bed with its duvet corner pulled back exposing soft linen sheets atop a firm mattress, all the while following my well rehearsed undressing routine, pulling my boxer shorts down always the final garment to leave my body. Then perhaps I’ll pause for a second touching stroking the erogenous areas of my body, parts covered throughout my day, feeling the cool room air against my skin before climbing into bed and laying back with a weary sigh! Rested comfortable sleepy I end my routine by pulling the heavy cushioned duvet up and over my body, and after having reached over switching the bed side table light out, that’s how my long night’s slumber begins.
I was going to say ‘lay prostrate’ similar to that of a deceased body lying on the slab, I won’t, though that’s the vision crossing before my eyes and least I’m honest. It’s times like these before sleep time that one contemplates their own mortality with eyelids wide open staring into inky black nothingness.
Then I’ll draw my right arm across my face, forearm covering my closing eyes, with always my left arm down below and open palm cupped around my testicle sack. A beautiful caring position is touching oneself whichever the sex, and now tenderly holding and rolling smooth balls between my finger and thumb I’ll playful fondle myself to sleep. Oh and I forgot to say gently! Only a guy can explain the sudden sharp stab of pain if he squeezes his balls tooo tightly!
And that’s the way I send myself to sleep every night, every single night, and so much more relaxing than counting sheep don’t you think? I’ll let you into another secret, lovingly stroking and caressing those small egg shaped orbs is a comfort, a feeling of all the days anxieties being gently cleansed from my body, I guess much the same way three year olds send themselves to sleep clutching a soft furry teddy to their breast.
I don’t know why I’m having to justify myself lol, they’re my balls for heavens sake and I love them!!!
Does anyone else send themselves to sleep like this, hands cupping their balls? Fingers inside their warm kitty? Hmm lol don’t answer!
However once in a while, on an evening such as this, I’ll get a hard on whilst picturing our 50 year old secretary from work, a bright vision of sensuality emblazoned against invisible blackness, and let’s name her Amanda! Always at times like this Amanda is undressed to her bra and panties, isn’t the word panties deliciously sexy, rolling of the tongue like honey from the back of a warm metal spoon!
Closing my eyes tight shut, concentrating hard, Amanda’s hands now reach behind her back, dextrous fingers releasing the clip of her bra strap to reveal large milky coloured breasts, sagging slightly and many years since they dripped their final bead of nectar from teats sucked a thousand times. In my dreams Amanda always has drooping pendulous boobs b’cause she’s a mature lady and that’s the way I love her.
Then gazing longingly into my eyes Amanda drops her delicate lingerie to one side giving a soft whisper moments later as it hits the floor. Smiling coyly she places her two hands on her hips, slips two thumbs beneath the elasticated hem of white cotton knickers, so sexy and virginal, before arching her body forward and pulling the sexy garment downwards, its hem riding atop the curve of her hips, its soft fabric skimming down smooth thighs and resting on her ankles. Almost a virgin but not quite!
Standing upright again and never once breaking her gaze from my eyes, Amanda’s pussy is always bald in my dream the slit of her lips quite visible, and because she’s birthed two daughters in her lifetime, the ragged edges of soft labia resembling a slightly parted genital curtain, and best of all revealing a shocking pink vagina contrasting against her milky white skin.
Jeeze now I’ve got a hard on!
But I’m not gonna masturbate, nope I’m not in the right frame of mind to enjoy pleasuring myself! Feeling far tooo anxious after the day I’ve had.
And as I sit here typing, I wonder if she still has a young girl’s mop of pubic hair? Yes she’s an older woman yet still able to look handsome wearing shoulder length hair, unusual for the more mature ladies? However Amanda dyes hers brunette these days, and I know she does b’cause time to time I see the first millimetres of natural grey coloured growth. The comedienne Jenny Éclair said hair down below is the first thing a lady loses after her menopause? Smooth as a babies bottom she said hers was!
Amanda, not a stitch of clothing draped upon her 50 years old pear shape figure, looking gorgeous, and getting me evermore excited as I lay there picturing this middle aged nude before my eyes. Her legs now slightly further apart, an index finger pressed between parted labia lips, is gently circling and pulling at her clitoral skin making her breath quicken panting even.
Incidentally a question to the older woman who lol isn’t going to answer but hey my story, the waves of genital pleasure a woman experiences at age 50! Are they just as awesome and powerful as when she was 17 or is the kitty beginning to tire?
Where was I? Oh yes laying underneath my warm cosy duvet with the bedroom lights out, my eyes tightly closed imagining an older woman called Amanda wanking herself in my nightdream, me with one forearm resting atop my forehead, and the other tightly holding my ‘sack’ caressing fondling my two balls.
Then as my excitement ever quickens the tip of my penis begins to twitch and tingle releasing beads of precum, a males very own wetness which moistens within my foreskin and NOW feeling down right dirty and horny!! Genitals excited into a life of their own, I release the hold on my testicles instinctively curling fingers round the warm sensitive skin of my hardness, my gentle grip pushing upwards then tugging down again. Then with knuckles tensing, gripping my shaft more firmly, I start to wank harder and quicker and quicker still, so making me pant and gulp for more fresh night air!
But I know these warm and gorgeous pleasurable sensations emanating from the tops of my thighs, around my whole groin, won’t last forever, and now with my body still and motionless except for the vigorous energy applied from my hand, I jerk my hand back and forth, my clenched fingers kissing the rim of my bellend now so sensitive it makes my hips raise, and all the while gazing deep into Amanda’s wet vulva!!
Jesus I know I’m gonna cum soon and this beautiful relaxing pleasure won’t last much longer, with that I’ll whip back my duvet, never once slowing the work from my hand, then feeling the semen palpably rise from my balls, and whispering a “omg I’m gonna cum soon”, gazing at a vision of Amanda’s open pussy, her thighs stretched wide apart I’ll imagine her naked body for a few seconds more! ‘Oh I so want to feel myself deep inside her vagina’ I say to myself, a feeling that makes the tip of my penis throb and buck as I try to capture those pleasurable seconds before orgasm. Then with one final jerk of my wrist, my back arches toward the ceiling, and my groin explosively convulses sending a stream of warm sticky cum across my stomach!
“God I needed that!”
Then as my breathing slows and as the shaft of my penis goes limp and soft, after my brief intimate moment of sexual pleasure subsides, only then does it finally dawn on me,
“Damn I’m gonna have to go and shower now……………why the hell did I have to cum?”
A message to any ladies reading I have good news and bad news, I’m afraid to say a Sport’s post will appear some time soon and I know that sounds awful! 😦 I bet you didn’t see that one coming, I mean Andrew a fan of the noble art of Boxing? Well I am and tonight this evening October 7th I’ll be ring side watching a live Boxing Match in London, that’s the bad news! The good news is the Boxer I’m going to watch is a woman!
So as you’re reading this I’ll beee …….hmm ……probably in Bethnal Green!
Three boxing quotations, three differing points of view!
“Ring fighting was hurting somebody else, deliberately, and particularly when it was not necessary. Two men who have nothing against each other get in a ring and try to hurt each other, to provide vicarious fear for people with less guts than themselves. And to cover it up they called it sports and gambled on it.” James Jones, From Here to Eternity
“The only limitations one has are the ones they place on themselves.” – Muhammad Ali
“Boxers, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.” – Wayne Kelly
And rather embarrassingly one of my own, rather arrogant of me to place myself aside three great men and their quotations……….. but hey my blog.
“With a passion you either love boxing or you hate boxing, it divides opinion like no other Sport, with boxing there is no between.” 🙂 Only an opinion.
A sensible post for you this evening, a change of direction and most definitely not JFF.
I have a ticket to watch my sporting heroine, a young lady by the name of Chantelle Cameron ‘fight’ live and I’m extremely excited, 🙂 Chantelle is an English professional Boxer and October 7th I’m going to watch her Box in person at York Hall, Bethnal Green, East London. Incidentally the Kray twins Boxed there as youngsters!
Two thoughts as regard sports writing on WordPress, now I understand ‘Sports Blogs’ aren’t for everyone which is absolutely fine so I guess this post could be written just for me, so to offset the subject matter I’ll be sharing photos of my day spent in London also.
Please keep in mind 🙂 I’m going to watch Chantelle fight as a member of the audience consequently my post will be written from FIRST HAND experience as always, recall a selection of my posts and you’ll understand I only ever write from having been present at the time of an event, or something’s personally happened to me whether that be watching gorgeous Helen strip down to her ‘boobs’, or perhaps my observations of seeing pregnant women wearing sexy maxi dresses. Like it or not I’m always ‘there and there abouts’ within a post and this has always been very important to me.
Now I bet you didn’t see a Boxing Post coming!
I’ve attached a photo of Chantelle wearing a white boxing bra taken earlier in 2017 whilst fighting an E. European opponent in the City of Glasgow. Irrespective of the fact she doesn’t wear a bra (you know me I’m a boob man 😀 ) look deeply into Chantelle’s eyes and you’ll see a picture of concentration and naked aggression as she lands a punch on her opponent’s cheek, quite a stunning photograph! And before you say ‘NO’ this is a brutally despicable photo, yes I DO understand physically inflicting pain on another human being in the name of sport is morally indefensible however I may answer you by saying boxing is liitle different to watching Roman Gladiators fight 2000 years ago?
I’m aware this is a rather concise post this evening that’s because my work hours have changed and I’m a little tired, ahh 🙂 so I’ll finish by saying thank you to those who’ve taken the time to read a post on Blog Andrew.
Can I ask what do you think of me adding yet another different theme to my Blog?
Andrew 🙂 (Erotica next, and Boxing posts are in the pipeline but you know me the order they’re published is subject to change.)
This isn’t an erotic short story though one follows later 🙂
Yay aren’t you the lucky readers I’ve just this moment completed another hopefully sexy story, or as I like to refer to them, Erotica! Ok perhaps I’m aiming tooo high calling my tales erotica then again, Anita enjoyed my gay sex story so much she re blogged and sixty people liked, so perhaps I can write a little ANYWAY one follows sooon and good or bad it’s for you to decide. 🙂
When I came to the point of downloading some tasteful Google images to accompany my tale, and we all like to add photos breaking copyright or not. Like I said I Googled images with differing search phrases then I got to wondering is my tale, or erotica in general, written for boys or for girls? Does the sex of my photos denote the sex of reader? I haven’t any idea that’s why I’m asking myself the question. I’d guess the litmus test is similar to in the movies, if the script and story isn’t great then no matter how many action scenes, neither boys or girls will like and enjoy!
But returning to my question, is the erotic fiction and sexy fantasy stories written by my favourite bloggers read by, for fear of labouring a point! Do their sexy tales and poems excite men or do they arouse women or are they enjoyed by both sexes straight or gay? One thing is for sure, it doesn’t actually matter as long as their stories are enjoyed and incidentally these authors are fabulous………… many a time they’ll give me an erection, a tingle on the tip of my penis, or perhaps a little bucking producing a bead of precum! Either way one hell of a talent to possess, I mean the ability to make a guy hard!!
So there you are Friday evening thoughts of erotic fiction. As regards my tale, hopefully it’s ok you decide, and I’m going to ‘publish’ sooon, however I’m undecided as to using sexy photos of men or sexy photos of women?…………..I could post them twice all in the name of scientific research, or is that getting above myself!
For boys girls by or gay? Doesn’t matter as long as the tales is an enoyable read. 🙂
(I made a ‘rather unfortunate’ remark on my previous post pointing out not all Bloggers are happy with YouTube videos appearing on WordPress, my apologies if you thought me arrogant but the use of video is an interesting discussion point. You see a while ago I read a Post where this very nice Blogger made clear WordPress is for writers but not a suitable place for YouTube videos, and they were of course ABSOLUTELY correct, writers! As for myself I’m a serial repeat offender 😀 when we’re talking video but I don’t think sharing hurts once in a while and there’s always a context. Either way my remark was out of place.)
So with alternative media in mind here’s my Oxford St. Giles Fun Fair videos from September 2017, all linked from my YouTubeChannel 🙂 and hopefully they complement my previous Fun Fair post ‘please click here’. TY
Early September the travelling Fairground camped it’s metaphorical wagons right bang in the centre of historic Oxford City for the annual St. Giles Fair! Now I know some of you aren’t great fans of YouTube videos appearing on Blogs and I understand why, this is a tiny backwater of the internet reserved for writers, so yes I understand.
Having said that they appear another day.
After finishing work I walked through the sleeping Fun Fair around 6pm as the owners were just beginning to prepare their rides for the evening’s exciting entertainment, and rather than hang around in the rain I carried on walking right through, Galaxy Tablet in my rucksack, making for the Odeon cinema where I watched the excellent Dunkirk starring Tom Hardy, and yes ladies even if I say it myself he is gorgeous!
Then two hours later I stepped out of the cinema into driving rain and daylight had been transformed into pitch black night, yet all around shone thousands of vibrant coloured lights along with excited human screams and VERY loud pop music………the Fun Fair had arrived in Oxford with a Bang!
Galloping horses, this Fairground ride has it’s beginnings 200 years ago, when steam powered traction engines would turn the wheels through use of belts and pulleys. How do I know this? I’ve visited Dorset steam rallies and seen them with my own eyes.
So I took my Tablet from my rucksack, signed in as you do, and throughout the next hour I took many photos also short videos all uploaded onto my YouTube Channel! And no I lol didn’t go on any rides, no, my neurosurgeon told me never to and I’m certainly not going to argue with a medical consultant brain surgeon………made a good excuse anyway.
Haha that’s gotten you curious, perhaps my fixation with ladies breasts is a medical condition after all. 😛
Btw I wasn’t half worried that my Tablet would be stolen from my hands, things I do for WordPress haha.
Stalls with their cuddly toy animal prizes, I can’t help wondering if they’ve passed European tests for fire safety? Btw I’m not attempting to be funny!
The rifle games amuse me, people take aim at an object standing less than two metres away yet they cannot hit the target! You don’t think the owners have bent the rifle barrels by any chance?
St. Giles Fair is a famous and historic annual festival lasting two evenings, then on the Wednesday morning as I walk through the city centre at 7am every resemblance of the previous evenings Fairground rides had upped and gone, the owners had worked right through the night clearing up and all the stalls rides and lorries had disappeared, the wagons had upped sticks and left town!
Oh yes I said famous and historic! The Fair has been coming to Oxford for hundreds of years, and I’ve worked with old timers who remember boxing booths, where local hard men could pay to take on the travelling fighter in I guess a boxing ring, but alas Health and Safety legislation has put a stop to those fun and games.
As an engineer by trade I can’t help thinking as I gaze at these human beings spinning across the nights sky, how safe are these rides really? Every couple of evenings they’re stripped down taken apart, then screwed back together in another Town! Like I said I’m an engineer employed in a structural materials Group looking into metal fatigue in Rolls Royce aero engines, not the ideal man to be stood watching people enjoying themselves trying to wipe the many what ifs from my consciousness!
I cannot help it, happens all the time, the price of being a qualified engineer? Lol in the past I’ve worked with the wing material specimens from the original Airbus planes!
In the background you’ll see the sandstone high walls and buildings of St. Johns College, very famous and 800 years old and currently being used as a film set, you won’t believe the amount of movies and TV dramas you’ve watched where Oxford College’s have appeared Harry Potter being one of them. So look out for the buildings laying further behind the Fair rides.
And of course where would any Fun Fair be without it’s dodgem cars? Fabulous 🙂
Enough chatter lol, these are my photos and for those of you who do enjoy YouTube videos they will appear on a forthcoming post in a few days time 🙂 Sorry.
Ahh nearly forgot, here’s B&W photos from St. Giles Fair taken decades past, straw boaters white blouses and long heavy black skirts, don’s wives?
Glancing through the list that is My Blog Posts I see it’s six month since I challenged myself to a Tag quiz list. Incidentally I haven’t been Tagged but I did see 50 Questions on a lady’s Blog and my first thought was wow aren’t they quirky interesting questions? Real discussion points you’re neither never going to be asked or more importantly you never enquire of yourself.
Did you know there’s been scientific research carried out, and APPARENTLY the most popular theme for a Post IS you’ve guessed, quiz Tags! True, and I have to agree, and I’d go further it doesn’t really matter what the quiz is about.
(Yikes I’ve just had a thought, hopefully mine is ok?)
1. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CANDLE SCENT? Non perfumed. Whenever I’ve been to a Church Service I’ve never enjoyed the scent they give off!
2. WHAT FEMALE CELEBRITY DO YOU WISH WAS YOUR SISTER? None, I couldn’t imagine anything worse, but growing up I always thought having a big sister would be nice.
3. WHAT MALE CELEBRITY DO YOU WISH WAS YOUR BROTHER? None, I couldn’t imagine anything worse, I’m quite content having a younger brother ❤
4. HOW OLD DO YOU THINK YOU’LL BE WHEN YOU GET MARRIED? Crikey! I have a strong sense I’ll never get married but I’d love to live with a partner. Do I suffer from a fear of commitment?
5. DO YOU KNOW A HOARDER? Me! And I hate myself for amassing ‘stuff” I neither need or require. I’d love to live in one of those little Japanese houses and leave clutter behind!
6. CAN YOU DO A SPLIT? You must be frigging joking! 😀
7. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LEARNT HOW TO RIDE A BIKE? Possibly 7? But I remember my Dad running behind holding the saddle pushing.
8. HOW MANY OCEANS HAVE YOU SWAM IN? Of the 6 only 1, the Atlantic.
9. HOW MANY COUNTRIES HAVE YOU BEEN TO? Ireland, France, Italy for a day, Greek Islands. Hmm not many is it!
10. IS ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY IN THE ARMY? Hmm nope, except my two Grandfather’s fought in WW2, 3 Great Grandfathers fought in WW1, 1 Great Grandfather in the Boer War, Orange River Colony.
11. WHAT WOULD YOU NAME YOUR DAUGHTER IF YOU HAVE ONE? Hmm none, though I’ve always like a Sophie perhaps because I went out with a Sophie.
12. WHAT WOULD YOU NAME YOUR SON IF YOU HAD ONE? Hmm not once in my life have I given this any thought? One HELL of a responsibility to name a child.
13. WHAT’S THE WORST GRADE YOU GOT ON A TEST? Ungraded! At age14, after 1 year’s studying I failed Religious Education. Consequently I got into a LOT of trouble.
14. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD? A children’s Show named Blue Peter, only because the female Presenter 😉 wore tight tee shirts.
15. WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS ON HALLOWEEN WHEN YOU WERE EIGHT? Halloween isn’t such a big deal in the UK as it is in America.
So rather nervously I agreed to meet her in person, and note there was no pressure on either side, then one sunny Saturday afternoon in August I travelled by train to a Town with no name in central England and all I can say is as the platform came into view for two pins I would have stayed on the train until the next stop then gone straight home again!
I didn’t and to say I was apprehensive stepping onto that platform is a given, but I needn’t have worried because on recognising me Jen walked straight up and we hugged tightly and rather intimately for two strangers who’d NEVER spoken to each other before! So very strange in hindsight and the affection still makes me laugh to this day. Now to answering a question I’m hoping any readers are asking themselves namely did we get along, did we like each other and what happened next?
Well yes the hug was rather intimate for strangers, there was a natural unspoken warmth between us and if you’d like to know yes we hit it off within seconds. She was ever the woman I’d been reading about for all these past months and Jen was exactly as I imagined her to be, her personality, sense of humour, kindness were exactly the same as shone through her blog posts and I have a feeling she understood me more than I give her credit for, and all simply because we were very honest on WordPress.
However true love never blossomed, in fact after several minutes of chatting we soon realised this would only ever be friendship but that didn’t matter, neither needed to say it we just knew 😦 , Jen was attractive (I will say no more except 😉 big and she wouldn’t mind me saying) and a lovely lady but you either know there’s a spark of love or there isn’t but that’s ok lol I didn’t travel all that way trying to find a wife. Looking back in hindsight I understand we’d only ever be on-line friends but you never know unless you meet do you, we met as friends more out of curiosity than romantic attraction and had a fun day.
So after a hug and several minutes chatting on the platform, I turned around and got back on the train! Lolol no no NO! Couldn’t resist that!
With proper introductions exchanged, Jen took my hand in hers and we walked out of the station gates and at her suggestion breathlessly strode up a rather steep hill making for a cafeteria to have coffee together. And yet again walking hand in hand with a complete stranger appeared very natural there was a warmth ease and friendly naturalness about our conversation which never left us for the rest of the day, in truth we chatted endlessly and only because we already knew each other so well just through reading eithers blog posts and comments then moving to private email, note for four months or so.
On entering the café Jen sat by the window I bought two coffees paying at the counter, then on joining her at the chosen table I noticed she was texting on her Smart phone sporting a broad smile across her face! When she looked up and obviously reading my quizzical expression she explained she’d been texting her best friend to say everything was fine safe and ok, then for the next twenty minutes or so in between sips of coffee we reminisced about past blog conversations, talked of our families, occupations and I know it sounds rather cheesy but we quite hit it off at one point laughing as she rather tooo loudly said “well you do have rather a nice cock! (I’d seen her breasts in a post btw!)
However perhaps I’m reading to much into WordPress’s importance when meeting a blogger, perhaps our meeting could equally have gone the other way irrespective of we were friendly bloggers, perhaps meeting a blog friend can quite as easily go the other direction beginning with awkward silences and not really taking to each other.
Coffees drunk, Jen suggested buying prepared food in an adjoining Delicatessen then driving out into the countryside to eat together and that’s just what happened! We bought food and bottles of drink which I lol insisted paying for and she later thanked me for in that evening’s email (nice guy me! 🙂 ) Then we walked to her car, and she drove us out of Town following a road ending at a car park situated in rather beautiful countryside. On locking the car I followed Jen along a path through a meadow coming to an abrupt stop in front of a canal! I shan’t bore you with any further detail other than we sat by the water one sunny warm afternoon and continued to chat about our lives……….. that we became SO personal is purely down to WordPress blogging commenting and replying.
Well food eaten and a walk in the sun, we decided to finish for the afternoon and Jen drove me back to the station, walked me to the platform where we both waited for my train, then as my Oxford bound train came into view we two hugged even more tightly than first previous (a genuine loving bear hug) 🙂 To this day I’ve never forgotten the feel of her bra strap as my arms were round her and I as we pulled apart, my fingers brushed the sides of her bra cups, I felt the lacy material beneath her light top, and you have to believe me when I say touching her bra was by sheer accident and only because I was a little overcome with emotion, honest! Later that evening I emailed Jen to apologise and she replied with,
“I smiled and thought to myself that’s cheeky! 😀 but I didn’t mind in the slightest”. Don’t you think that’s sweet? I do.
If you recall at the beginning of my ‘blog relationships’ tale, we both felt an empathy and friendliness upon first meeting, however we both instinctively understood there wouldn’t be any wedding bells lol! You just know don’t you. 🙂 But that’s ok, yes we were lonely and single adults but in hindsight I have a feeling we both really wanted to meet out of curiosity, I’m a firm believer if you meet someone as a friend then that’s all you’ll ever be is friends.
So now you’re wondering what happened next? For several weeks or so after we emailed everyday, both continued to post on WordPress and then as happens real life get’s in the way, then our emailing became less frequent until stopping completely the last time being exchanging Christmas Greetings. Jen and I never met in person again, I live in Oxford she in Central England which is a long train journey away, so as happens, time passes and we lost touch, that’s life there’s no malice or specific reason we stopped. Is there any point to meeting again if we both hoped for romance, if I’d lived closer would we have met in person again? I doubt it, Jen was adorably a lady on a mission, a born romantic and I’d guess she’s still internet dating hoping to find and meet her soul mate. I do so hope she’s found the love she so craves.
One final thought.
Hypothetically if you were to ask me is there a point to lengthy email relationships I’d have to answer of course yes! I could be wrong but I have the impression Natalie’s friendship was a meeting of two minds and an intellectual friendship, who knows? With myself our four casual emailing friendships were little more than chatting about our lives friends family work and relationships having a laugh and yes E did send me photos of her tits on my birthday. Incidentally with three of the four ladies, the emailing’s ended I’ve deleted every single message and photo, except C’s. The nicest thing women have said to me on WP is I make them laugh. Make’s me happy knowing that trouble is why am I still single?
So yes of course there is a point, relationships of any kind are unpredictable and fun also tiring and requiring dedication, so yes of course email but perhaps keep in mind how they’re likely to finish, perhaps be prepared for an end game where neither person feels the other’s let them down emotionally and certainly don’t end a friendship under a dark cloud with one person deleting all traces of you from their blog. I don’t think there’s any need for drama, it seems so sad people end up feeling hurt for no other reason than a simple misunderstanding. Perhaps stick to making each other laugh, E and I had a blast but we also tried to help each other with our own real relationship problems, enough said.
Will I exchange email addresses with a lady blogger again? No, only because trying to express myself through a blog post is bloody difficult and deeply problematic enough, four is enough, however I’m NOT saying ‘don’t you do it’ because one day you may share a picnic with your own blog friend by a canal in the sun.
Hopefully you’ll have read ’email friendships with other bloggers Part 1 if not here’s the linkpart 2 follows directly after this post.
Jen the lady blogger I met in person and the tale of our day together follows in part 2.
NOT that boobs are important to my tale 😀 but you may wish to know I lightly stroked Jen’s bra by accident! You see after our farewell embrace on the train platform, as our two body’s separated, as my arms pulled away from hugging her, my fingers brushed the sides of her bra cups feeling the lacy fabric beneath. You see I’d fallen for Jen but alas she hadn’t fallen for me anyways I’d become a little emotional at the station and I guess that’s why I unintentionally ‘touched her’ 😉 .
Not to worry we both laughed afterwards, in fact she reminded me of this lady below 😉
This is a response post of sorts to arwenaragornstar plus a personal tale of my own. (Whenever I glance at the lady’s web address my first thought is arenarapornstar, true!)
I follow many different bloggers for many differing reasons but always because their blog posts capture my imagination, creative writers like arwenaragornstar. Well after reading the lady’s fascinating post Connections she inspired me to give my own thoughts on whether corresponding with WP bloggers by email is a good idea or not, 🙂 yes of course it is but in my opinion doing so should be considered carefully.
I give no confidences away because as you can read in Natalie’s ‘connections’ whilst a little drunk she wrote an email she shouldn’t have or should she have? A blog friend took it badly, over dramatically even, so perhaps it’s worth keeping in mind a ‘blog friendship’ will always end sometime so being prepared might be an idea. Like many people I have emailed bloggers and sooner or later through no ones fault friendships will ‘fizzle out’, run their natural course or possibly egos and feelings could get hurt? Which seems such a shame when we’re here just for fun. 🙂
I’ve consensually emailed 4 lady bloggers on WordPress (by consensual I mean I’m not a frigging stalker and we’re talking two year timespan) and all innocently came about through commenting and replying to each other’s posts before then moving to private email. Corresponding with Blogger P a casual friend ended when she got married! Blogger E again a casual friend ended when she finished WP. Time to time Blogger C and myself email where we chat about family and relationships, and finally with a lady blogger we’ll call Jen we met in person.
I guess if there is a point to be made our friendships were very warm friendly and private, yes three have ended but I’m SO pleased no feelings have been hurt. However for perhaps interesting reasons to you? I’ve decided there’ll be no fifth simply because you have to be aware writing takes time and dedication, misunderstandings can occur and it’s easy to feel I’d offended her in some way or she’d offended me when neither is true! 😮 Oh and keep in mind they could get married!
Btw I’m NOT saying don’t penpal with a blogger just because I say so!……….DO email if you want, because you may never know where a written relationship will take you, just realise they’ll end one day? And I’ve just this second discovered penpal isn’t known in WordPress’s spellcheck, now ain’t that ‘frigging’ sad!
My greatest pleasure on WordPress, second to posting, is interacting with other Bloggers and yes on four occasions I’ve privately emailed back and forth with a lady, but you’ll have to wait a day or so for tale where I met with a lady blogger in person, and all through getting to know each other here on WordPress. I’ve never told you? Oh well now I have, however just be aware I will only be sharing sketchy detail in the interest of confidentiality secrecy and privacy.
Going that extra step and actually physically meeting with another blogger is rather daunting, just like a first date, and I would advise saying yes is a decision not to be taken lightly, lol they may be a stalker a frigging psychopath or absolutely lovely! However in the story I’m about to share we did in fact meet and she was adorably sweet kind and lovely.
After posting and commenting on a lady (we will name her Jen) blog posts for many months or so gave me a good idea as to the personality values and honesty of the lady I was to meet up with and she was exactly how I’d imagined even nicer! Incidentally if you’ve both shared photographs even perhaps the occasional butt photo as I’ve been known to then again, then you already share a trust and have a good idea if she has a similar sense of humour and outlook on life. Who wants to meet someone who takes themselves tooo seriously?
But you should know we shared several common similarities, we were both over forty, single, very lonely and yes both open to a friendship blossoming into something a whole lot more serious and I DON’T mean sex! Neither Jen or myself were players, far to honest for any of that stupidity, nope we were little more than two lonely singletons meeting for the first time hoping for a spark, a connection and certainly nothing as shallow as casual sex.
To be honest I did feel rather sad reading Jen’s blog posts of an evening because the lady met with men chosen from internet dating websites and she had some real horror stories to tell me! Ranging from the guy who didn’t look anything like his profile photographs, also a scammer who became angry on the phone when she didn’t agree to sending him money, anyways that’s enough personal detail.
So you may wish to stop here after reading my personal thoughts in response to ‘connections’ but hold on, my day trip tale to meet Jen follows in a couple of days and hopefully you’ll enjoy reading a true brief encounter! 🙂
26/09/2017 – Update, I’ve decided to go back to my 14 month old profile picture because I prefer looking at the painting rather than a half me photograph and I’m rather attached to it, two lover’s seated on a park bench for over one year is a long time! I like it and my 🙂 eclectic, silly posts are all that really matters. A fair reason? My apologies if you’re a little annoyed.
Totally off the cuff, 24/09/2017 @ 23:46 precisely! And not once did I talk about one of the loves of my life namely ladies tits, the droopier they are the better, it means you can fit all the more in your mouth! Aww damn!
I suffer from a syndrome that doesn’t exist and I’ve just this moment dreamt up called ‘This is my final ever post for WordPress’ err syndrome!! You see I’m not a poet, I’m not a book reviewer, I don’t write sexy tales swirling round white girly imaginations about them holidaying in deepest darkest Africa and being captured by a tribe of spear throwing men wearing tiger skin underpants, then taking the slip of a girl to their mud hut in the jungle and raping her any way they can! Now hold on!!!
My brother has a rat story even more horrific than any Halloween Movie and probably the worst nightmare any guy could imagine dreaming! I’ve been speaking to him on the phone earlier today and it turns the family has a new pet along with the rabbits and chickens, come to think of it they’re the reason my brother now has a rat problem! Chickens and rabbits are quite tasty.Read More »
A shout-out post for you this evening and you know how I love interacting with bloggers here on WordPress 🙂 A lady by the name of Esther who Blogs from Nigeria commented telling me she enjoyed seeing my garden butterfly photos, and do you know what even after two years ‘sharing’ photographs on my Blog Andrew, knowing people living all those miles away in Africa (or anywhere!) are reading my personal thoughts published on a website never ceases to amaze me! Please know I truly never take your feedback for granted and thank you 🙂 ❤
Returning to my back garden butterfly post linked above, the one where I’d promised to
A smattering of regular readers to Blog Andrew maybe aware I work for a famous Educational establishment in Oxford, commuting to work from an outlying English Cotswold Town, if not there’s plenty of photographs of you to see on this blog, Churches and the like with skylines of honey golden lichen patches on limestone tiles.
Important message. This afternoon I’ve been chatting with my fabulous 9 year old nephew and he tells me ‘The Emoji Move: Express Yourself’ is “absolute pants!” Incidentally Rotten Tomatoes approved tomatometer critics give this movie a 10% positive review, so lol you’ve been duly warned 😀
Oh yes my post Peeing in the shower! Where shall we begin and note there’s NO imagery this is just for fun!
I haven’t published a JFF post for a while, plus I’m feeling a little hmm , so I thought why not write something hopefully ‘entertaining’ yet at the same time make a serious point.
Now hold on before you leave me, 🙂 I know I’m prone to writing ‘unusually themed’ posts, an understatement if ever there was one, but believe me or not ‘Peeing in the shower’ is a serious topic for discussion amongst politicians and public health officials across many Countries, especially if they have water shortage problems.
So with water conservation in mind I thought why not discuss, try and convince you, plus share a few photographs of men taking showers I found along the way, makes a welcome change from seeing naked women. 🙂
(For the lady in Nigeria I haven’t forgotten the hedgehog photos, they’re coming sooon 🙂 )
An observational thoughtful post this evening 🙂 Perhaps I’m a World-weary cynic for definite? Or one of life’s realists? You decide 🙂 (Btw if you want to know what Savile looks like you’ll have to Google his image.)
Up until very recently University students in my home City used to give free hugs.
Let me elaborate I give no secrets away when I reveal I live in Oxford UK, a year on year City of eternal youth and I guess this beacon city of high academia has been like this for nigh on 800 years. Come early September, the start of Michaelmas term time and Oxford is awash with a new intake of eager excited fresh faced youngsters, suitably named Fresher’s. A term I’m sure those of you who’ve been to Uni will be well aware of.
All photographs and video were taken by myself, who knows how media ownership works on WordPress not me? 🙂
A post featuring my mother’s very own wildlife eco system, not Bumblebees for a change but four species of butterflies which regularly visited her garden late August 2017.
I’ve learnt two natural history lessons this past summer, first it’s extremely important to grow pollinating flowers in your garden 🙂 and secondly it seems Butterflies GO CRAZY FOR purple flowering Buddleia’s!
Until researching this post I hadn’t really appreciated the beauty of these amazing bugs fluttering from flower to flower in my mother’s rear garden, not until I looked close up upon the vibrant colours on their wings had I realised we have amazing creatures on our own doorsteps.
Quite literally step outside her conservatory door and my mother has bees butterflies birds feeding upon bugs only because she grows pollenating flowers in her garden, and as you’ll see from my photos butterflies adore buddleia flowers in fact as I wandered round the lawn with my camera four different native English species couldn’t leave the bush alone!
Along with butterflies mum has hedgehogs visiting her garden nine o’clock most evenings and during the summer months she’ll put a saucer of water and dried mealworms on the concrete patio. To begin with only one hedgehog would visit to munch on the dry worms then scurry back across the lawn, through a hole under the fence and into a hedgehog house in a neighbours garden. But best of all earlier this Spring an adult and two babies would turn up for supper every evening!
Thank you WordPress because if I hadn’t had the ‘imagination’ to write this post I wouldn’t have given the colours and patterns on their wings a second look, in fact every summer I rarely give notice these beautiful creatures.
Red Admiral:The Red Admiral is a frequent visitor to British gardens and is one of our most well-known butterflies, unmistakable with velvety black wings intersected by striking red bands. Primarily a migrant to our shores, although sightings of individuals and immature stages in the first few months of the year, mean the Red Admiral is now considered resident in the British Isles ‘topped up’ every year with migrants arriving in May and June that originate in central Europe. However unfortunately, most individuals are unable to survive our winter especially in the cooler regions of the British Isles.
(I know I know 😀 I’m up to my old bad habits again, promising a post then publishing something different on a whim but hey that’s blogging………. note a post about a fun fair I visited last Monday comes next also a back garden nature post follows soon, I promise! Btw I’m done with tales of masturbation 🙂 )
A reflective thoughtful Post from Andrew this evening, not forgetting concise! Only 427 words for a change 🙂 I have a nature post coming but with Trump’s finger hovering over the nuclear button North Korea was on my mind.
Indulge me just this once a post where I delve a little deeper into my WordPress blog, we’re discussing statistics! I know there’s ‘nothing more boring than writing a blog about blogging!’ (I read that somewhere) but do you consider my question thought provoking? Are you being viewed in that most secretive of Countries North Korea?
Adult themes. Note the photographs below featuring ladies riding escalators are Google Imaged and if the text is anything to go by originates from some ‘perverted’ website. Honest! And I can assure you I’ve chosen them for dramatic effect only and anyways you can’t see her upskirt knickers which means the image isn’t indecent.
In my defence this post isn’t quite how it possibly first appears. 😀 I’ve had an eventful few days please read on!
Have you ever had one of those days when you’ve witnessed something so shocking, an act
A baking post for you and change from my sometimes silly tales. 🙂 the cake recipe courtesy of a blogger by the name of Lisa and her very own recipe, and you’ll of course be aware blackberries are in season in the UK at present.
So without further ado here’s a list of ingredients and method of making the cake (note it’s crumbly and a bit difficult to get out the tin) also I took a series of photographs to follow……….pictures always help in cook books and a video post will follow next.
If little else my post themes are out of the ordinary 😀 and I’m aware they may not be everyone’s ‘cup of tea’, but I enjoy writing them and some people enjoy reading them so all’s good and I have so much respect for the fair sex!. ❤
TRUTHFULLY I HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT MOTHER’S MILK ACTUALLY TASTES LIKE?
Here’s a question you’ll have asked your mum at some point in your life, “was I breastfed as a baby?” Well I only ever asked my mother once and she replied “NO NEVER!!” …………..Fair enough 😀
Which makes me wonder if being bottle fed formula milk is the reason I have a womanly breast fixation, then again ALL men have a weakness for those milky warm bundles of fun! But being serious for a sec’ I follow a lovely lady on YouTube who’s extremely unhappy men sexualise breasts, forgetting their sole purpose in life is lactating milk to keep babies alive and grow up healthy………………… 😀 and you wonder why I’m so darn confused!
I’ve a breastfeeding story for you, now bare in mind last time I wrote a post titled breastfeeding I got myself into all sorts of trouble, in-fact I deleted the post because I upset a lady from NY USA called Cara, so then I posted an apology only to be chastised yet again by a lady name of Paola from West Germany, women you just can’t win! 🙂
But being serious for a second Paola was quite correct a writer should never apologise for the ‘fruits of his labour’, if readers aren’t impressed with my work then please tell me because I enjoy feedback.
I feel a little ashamed with myself this evening, partly due to my usual weariness and tired frame of mind after a hard days work, often at about this hour melancholy creeps in swiftly turning to unhappiness, but don’t leave me quite yet because I have something rather important to say. Let me explain the reasons for this evening’s despondency a little more clearly shall I, yes it doesn’t take much to upset me these days, negative thoughts, a
JFF and certainly not to be taken tooo literally or heaven forbid seriously……………….. note there’s no hate no nudity (well a little) no pornography and as I’ve written before 🙂 in the unlikely event you’re under 16 why not go and play a computer game, it’ll be more fun than reading this (hopefully entertaining) silliness!
If you’d like to understand how and why this very bizarre post came about ‘click here’, in my opinion a read should help explain all in less than three minutes, then again after reading you may say wtf and not bother coming back 😀 ………………… are you back? Hope so!
I’ll refrain from cross referencing belle’s post and reply to her questions instead, I’ll tell you my own masturbation story in my own words and in my opinion her’s is far better than mine anyway…………..Jeez takes me an age to begin!
Recently Susie Dent (I’ll explain who she is further down) was approached by her employers ‘Channel 4 television’ to research and narrate a series of videos for YouTube, incidentally a website you’ll find me when I’m not hanging around WordPress, the TV company asked Susie to make several videos tracing the origins of what’s commonly referred to as English swear words.
Now before you leave me, I agree the words C**T S**T and F**K shouldn’t be used in everyday conversation! However remember you’ll find each word, also their countless meanings usage and definitions in the English dictionary so they are as relevant as any other in the English Language, and in the case of the highly taboo C**T this swear word can be traced back many hundreds of years.
So yes I’d agree with you if you said swearing is awful uncouth and lazy, but as someone who regularly uses the F bomb I quite enjoyed watching the linked videos narrated and produced by the gorgeous and very VERY sexy Susie Dent.
Btw doesn’t she have a fabulous voice!
So who is Susie Dent I hear you ask?
Here in the UK we have a very popular daytime quiz show called ‘Countdown’, but don’t worry about the show, enough to say the game revolves around choosing unknown consonants and vowels so as to make up a dictionary word, the longer the word you come up with the more points you win! Btw I don’t watch television! Awful invention!
Returning to my original question, Susie Dent is an English lexicographer and etymologist and resident expert in Countdown’s ‘Dictionary Corner’, incidentally until this evening I didn’t know what an etymologist did for a living, which is a pretty disgraceful admittance for anyone who likes to call themselves a blogger!!!
Etymologistdef. – studies the history of words, their origins, and how their form and meaning have changed over time.
You may be aware I’m a little obsessed with women on Blog Andrew, the majority of my posts seem to derive from observing the fair sex and her femininity ……….oh and not forgetting my sex life! Perhaps it’s because I’m single that I find women so captivating and fascinating creatures, yet they confuse and mystify me in equal measures? So if any reader wondered who Andrew’s ideal woman is, I know you don’t but humour me, Susie Dent is the lady who quickens my pulse and makes ‘me hard and my bits tingle’.
Now I’ll refrain from being over familiar and coarse in this JFF post except to say in my humble opinion intelligence is an appealing and very sexy quality in a woman and Susie has sex appeal in abundance!
I digress, where was I? Oh yes Ms. Dent, if you stopped a man in the street and asked him to describe Susie Dent they’d probably say Countdown first and ‘thinking man’s crumpet’ second, and for all you bloggers who reside outside the UK the word ‘crumpet’ refers to ‘a sexually attractive lady!’
Thinking man’s crumpet def. – a humorous term for a person who is popular with the opposite sex because of their intelligence and their physical attractiveness.
…….. and now the very English swear word B****Y!
………and now for Susie Dent’s ‘The Real Origins of C**T!
While ‘scrolling through’ and reading a lady’s written blog posts I happened across ‘Everybody Hurts’ and I guess because the song’s quite old now, I hadn’t listened in a while, then I remembered I’d bought the album CD (what’s one of those I hear you ask) when first released.
The album’s ok 🙂 , honest of me 🙂 For ALL of us certain songs are memorable, for personal reasons the lyrics may embed in our consciousness, lyrics we’ll never forget, who knows why emotions are experienced by some and not others except the affect can be quite profound.
Well ‘Everybody Hurts’ for me is one of those songs. Enjoy 🙂
My erotic tale is sexually explicit (err very but if you know me it’s a happy good natured tale and my favourite ) anyways if you’d like to read then feel free to comment I’ll give you the password and if you wish I’ll delete the comment. 🙂
English summer’s traditionally begin mid June and end early October, I should qualify with a usually lasts that long! So more often than not our summer days of decent weather lasts longer than people overseas may imagine, of course we don’t get months of hot searing heat radiating from white hot suns, no there’ll be few of those, but interspersed they’ll be many more wet windy and cold winter’s days, for example, days such as in this little tale. If you were riding this railway carriage with myself, a day’s excursion on the North York Moors, you’ll hear no end of well known British weather sayings, may even be one such as this,
“Winter’s come early”, said the young lady sitting on a cushioned seat near opposite me, her abruptness waking me out of my contemplative day dream, “pardon miss”, I replied with a shocked start!
“Winters’s come early”, she repeated pushing her arms and shoulders forward, fondly smiling, making out she was shivering and I’d guess pressing clenched hands deep into her lap. I say guess because a large wooden table fixed to left side of the carriage obscured my view of her waist down.
Such a strange involuntary reaction shivering, I wonder if it really helps one warm chilled frozen stiff muscles?
The young lady continued smiling at me, and don’t you find the timespan for a smile represents how greatly a lady likes you, what she wishes from you in return? Too short and she’s forcing herself to make small talk, too long and she’s really into you or is that soppy old Andrew reading too much into feminine flirtations again, when a lady starts to talk to me I fall in love. Happens a lot, I go all submissive puppy-like instantly wishing wanting needing her.
I returned a smile this time going one step further looking into her eyes, and now I’m inwardly panicking having been caught off guard, nervously I answered with possibly the lamest most awful reply known to man, wait for it!
“Yes but the weather man on the radio said it’ll brighten up by this afternoon”, when really I wanted to say something very different, my eyes glancing below her chin for a spilt second then lower still, returning upwards re capturing her gaze.
Oh yes what I really wanted to say to this pretty girl, not beautiful as in a makeup model straight from Vogue magazine beautiful, no she was very much the pretty girl next door type, lovely delightful appealing with curly long brunette hair resting atop her shoulders, ah recalling the actual question crossing my mind. me now feeling the very end of my dick tingle and twitch, shaft hardening to the point of feeling slightly uncomfortable inside tight jeans! what I really wanted to say was,
‘honey why are you not wearing a bra?’
I hadn’t caught notice of the ladies face or her bosom till a little way into our journey, the train had stopped at Gothland Station I clambered aboard, crossing a grubby green carpeted aisle, my legs touching brushing past her jeans on the way, making mental note she’s wearing walking boots, then plonking myself down on the seat by the window! I hadn’t given the lady a second glance really.
Well that’s untrue, seated I looked across for the briefest of moments, enough to see her head was bowed, I assume concentration etched across her face reading a map (hold that thought), then getting my act together I layed my belongings out on the table, sighed rather loudly then gazed out the window watching the incredible scenery pass before my eyes, only then after a couple of minutes did I turn my head in the direction of my female traveller, only then did I notice that her walkers rain coat was unzipped open exposing two mounds of a rather large breasts, within tight navy blue tee shirt I might add!
So of course my attention’s magnetically drawn to her rather prominent nipples pointing through the soft stretchy cotton, oh yes I noticed those two alright! Walking boots and an outdoor coat all indicate she was a hiker and here’s the payoff just like me, I’m virtually dressed the same without hard nipples.
The train pulls away and slowly rumbles its way through beautiful rain sodden countryside, flat and dark green only spongy heather for vegetation. Now comfortably settled with rucksack on the seat beside me, heritage train book and packed lunch an arms length away in front on the table, we rocked and rolled through a picture perfect beautiful landscape that attracts people from across the globe, yet on cold wintry summer days such as these, a low grey cloud, a persistent deluge of heavy rain meant we were the only two souls in the carriage.
Though hold on a second! Listening to a hushed chatter from what sounded like a young woman also muffled occasional squeals of laughter from a child we were NOT alone, a voice of slightly higher pitch making the number five pop into my mind. A girl of five years old, I guess a mother and daughter were seated at the very far end on a day out like us two strangers.
Anyways the change in weather meant only we four travelled today in a carriage pulled by this gruff throaty diesel engine, 1960’s, preserved for tourists in seek of nostalgia.
We trundled our way through rural Yorkshire me time to time glancing across our shared light coloured oak table, and looking about the rail car the whole interior was a soft golden hew, where was I? Voyeurism, every sixty seconds or so out of the corner of my eye I’d glance across at her breasts again jiggling side to side up and down, they were large enough to notice and certainly enjoyable to watch, bouncing higher when a carriage jumped two connecting rails, and I’d say round enough to know they’re more than a handful when holding one up, though now positioned a good couple of inches above her tummy, made no secret this I’d guess age 25 pretty young lady had boobs on the bigger side.
I thought to myself she should really be wearing a bra because they’re just that little too heavy not to be supported, in a few years when she reaches thirty they’ll drop, sag to not far above her belly button, but they’ll still look adorable parting a resting position well to sides of her chest still looking sexy as older woman’s boobs do, I nearly said to her ‘you’ll only ever get sexy cleavage again by wearing a Wonderbra’, I didn’t!
Anyways as you’ll have deduced by now my attention is drawn to her boobs rather than spectacular scenery, then totally out of the blue she looks up from the map she’s interestedly following and beams me such a sweet smile and saying,
I don’t have a problem church cemeteries, in-fact I quite like them!
Don’t go yet! This isn’t Andrew becoming all morbid and depressing on you, 🙂 nope my blog is a positive happy blog where religion controversy and death are banned! Sex nature and photography yes! I’m here to hopefully be interesting, make you smile or subject you to my silly stories.
Whilst walking into Town early this afternoon the heavens suddenly opened and I became ensnared captured by a torrential rainstorm, now catch 22 if I about turned and went home I’d get soaked, if I carried on I’d get just as wet, so I thought sod it and soldiered on through the rain into Town.
One silver lining to my cloudy story was bumping into my neighbour from around the corner. She’s a lovely lady, a plain Jane but then I’m no Richard Gere, she’d gotten caught in the rain as well but even worse, as a woman who wears bras to small for her bust size, she looked as though she’d just come from a wet tee shirt competition, and by the look at her bosom she’d just won!
A post inspired by a pregnant woman who smiled at me as we passed each other walking along the lane that joins my home to Town. (July 2017)
Also prompted by a News story from America, apparently there was a little controversy (‘noise there’s always noise’ a quote 🙂 ) when a viewer branded anchor woman Laura Warren’s baby bump ‘disgusting’ by voicemail, I know I’m baffled to?
A question for you. In polite society is a guy allowed to say a pregnant lady can look sexy? Or is thinking let alone admitting a definite no no.
I’m not fishing for compliments here, this question genuinely honestly crosses my mind time to time, say as I’m commuting to work on the bus bored out of my mind.
The celebrity pictured below (who?) is ‘with child’ and in my learned opinion she is quite a few weeks in and not long till giving birth? And well I think she has a very sexy figure however she’s carrying someone inside so am I coming across as a little bit pervy? Don’t mean to!
Blog intermission, bit like those ice cream breaks you used to get at the cinema if you’re old enough to remember!
Quick update to my erotica tale, btw there won’t be another, you just DON’T know how much that post took out of me, I finished part 3 and thought OMFG 9 erotic fantasy writers have liked, Jeez, what if my story’s an ‘anti-climax’? Not to worry my erotic tale went ‘down’ well however I won’t be revealing fact from fantasy……….. 🙂 I’ll leave you to guess.
Returning to pregnant ladies, as I’ve told you I was walking into Town along the lane that crosses the Common and not far into my housing estate one sunny July morning all of a sudden I see a lady by herself walking toward me wearing a full length black maxi dress, you know the ones, they’re made like a long sock out of stretchy cotton fabric and it NEVER ceases to amaze me a maxi dress clings to every part of a ladies body as if spray painted on!
My guess is it takes a confident woman to wear one because they show every lump bump and curve of her body, the complete outline of her figure. Anyways she’s coming toward me and I’m sorry but I cannot not take my eyes from staring, not at her boobs hips waist through to the mound of her ‘you know what’ which is very clear to see, probably one of the sexiest dresses known to man, however I wasn’t looking at her figure I was kinda staring at her bump!
“Bumblebees are key factors in our wildlife. If they disappear many of our plants will not bear fruit”
David Attenborough (FRS).
Reading my Title ‘Bees in mum’s Garden’ gives you a strong hint as to the theme of this evening’s Post.
My mother is a keen flower gardener, all her borders are a riot of colour as are the many plant pots situated on the paved areas. As you can see from my video I visited Saturday afternoon and as I wandered around her peaceful garden I noticed wild bees hoping from flower to flower so reminiscent of helicopters and by chance I had my Samsung tablet with me so photographed the bees as the went about their work, they came out quite well don’t you think and I was really impressed the bees gold hoops, wings and legs are clearly visible and please don’t ask me to name the flowers, because my fingers are definitely not green!
With a little internet research I’m pretty sure the bees in my photographs are named small garden bumble bees though I’m no expert, the one fact I do know is bees could possibly be the most important insect to visit your garden.
Here’s the natural history lesson! 😀
Bees visit flowers to collect nectar and pollen, which they use as food for themselves and the larvae in their hives or nests. By moving from flower to flower, they are vital pollinators of many garden and wild flowers. Insect pollination is essential for the cropping of most fruits and some vegetables, there are several hundred different types of bee resident in the British Isles.
As a rule of thumb your garden should provide bee-friendly flowers that are rich in pollen and nectar which bees can easily access from spring until late summer, this ensures there’s a good supply of pollen at all the crucial times.
My apologies Hester, the video above is from my tablet and in my opinion the quality’s much better than before (compare to my Blenheim pics) but I FORGOT to speak up, the reason why is my mum’s neighbour was in her garden!
Good morning from sunny England, Now a message to the lovely people who read my Posts 🙂 lol you’ll understand by now, ‘sure as eggs is eggs’ (a saying of ours) you’ll know for certain todays post will NEVER be the same as it’s previous, not by devious design mind, nothing deceitful, I hope you think me a gent it’s just the way I’ve always ‘blogged’.
The video above has been uploaded onto my YouTube, as always, and features a panoramic view of my mother’s rear garden, a typical English suburban housing estate where each house has a small plot of land, some grow vegetables and flowers some seed the soil into lawns for the children to play on.
‘My body sinking into warm duvet and dutifully followed by my mature horny babe her wetness flowing out of her vagina like water drops slipping down glass in a rain storm, and like a reluctant virgin about to be deflowered on her wedding night she lay down beside me.’
Now the final part!
……………….a beautiful mature lady……if a little overweight!
A middle aged tiredness brought us to our senses, we paused breathless our bodies breaking from their embrace, then Chantelle sitting up supporting herself on one elbow, looking through tousled naturel blond hair draped across false eyelashes, quietly says:
“You like kissy kissy don’t you!” whilst wiping lipstick from her mouth with a wet wipe bought to clean penis’s of their pussy juice…………..and before you ask, she was English white and lived in Norfolk………….as for her Flat? Our emailing? Long story 😀
“Andrew sweetie, roll over honey and I’ll massage your back!”, like a puppy dog I dutifully roll over as she draws her right thigh over as if to ride me! (Couldn’t resist that!)
Chantelle is a mature sexy goddess of a woman, very feminine a girly girl type, mind you ALL women are beautiful goddesses to me, so go on force yourself, try to picture a natural blonde sitting just below my ass cheeks her legs straddling my thighs, her knees firmly squeezing my thighs in vice like grip, and joy of joys feeling her soft shaven vagina lips dripping wet pressing into my peachy ass.
If truth be told I think she fancied a rest from kissing cuddling and rolling, now able to sit up upright, feeling the discomfort from nursing a bad back ease (I’ll explain later) and I should say she wasn’t a light woman, not overweight either, but I certainly felt her sitting on top of me, her weight straddling my thighs like a female horse jockey aloft her mustang steed, Chantelle telling fascinating tales of her exciting life, me quietly listening captivated and all the while her fingers kneading massaging my tense shoulders, then she stopped suddenly, my tired muscles released from tender dextrous touch, her still and motionless silence only broken because she must have glanced down at my peachy ass cheeks, then completely out of the blue she says,
“You know Andrew you’ve a fab looking ass for a man your age”
Are you at all curious why Chantelle nursed a bad back, do you know what 😀 , after all I’ve written about visual images burnt into my consciousness and virtual tape machines in my brain recording intimate conversations 😀 I cannot remember why she had a bad back, No idea except she suffered from one, perhaps she didn’t fancy the idea of sexual gymnastics or rolling round that double bed having mad passionate love making, wasn’t for me either, nope seemed we were both content with kissing cuddling massages and chatting, fine by us both.
Laying on soft duvet, legs wide apart she knelt between my open thighs holding my hard cock in her right hand rhythmically rubbing my shaft and foreskin up and down, bringing me to near point of orgasm and skilfully understanding when to stop me ejaculating……. one talented woman was Chantelle she gave a mean hand job! My body squirmed and wriggled under the power of her firm tight grip, me with one arm stretched out, palm of my hand grabbing one natural firm breast all soft and round, once I squeezed so tight a nipple showed between thumb and forefinger and she momentarily lost her rag yelling,
“fucking hell Andrew don’t do that!”
I love the intimacy of a woman wanking me off and in my experience a woman enjoys the sex act just as much as men, please tell me if I’m wrong. I so look forward to the squeal of delight when I shower her breasts with beads of sticky cum, or as Chantelle did now come the time she lowered her head mouth open inches above the tip of my penis, all the while working my hard member with her hand, guiding controlling my soon near climax, my carnal pleasures now heightened because joy of joy I knew what this angel of mercy (nurse lol) was about to do for me now. Crimson lips open hovering above the purple tip of my phallus, me laying on her bed arms stretched out like a crucified Jesus Christ, Chantelle kneeling dutifully waiting between my wide open thighs, then my back arched upward a thrusting spasm ejaculating warm silk milk across her tongue and deep into her throat, pumping until I could cum no more!
Finally my body all spent she pulled her head back releasing my cock from her drooling wet mouth, gazing at me, parted those glossy red lips wide open, poking her tongue out revealing my pool of cum, she tossed her head back gargling my cream in the back of her throat, then swallowed the sticky liquid down in one…. mascara running from her watering eyes choking as my gooey cum coated her windpipe, but she enjoyed it and with love in her eyes she licked her lips beamed a wide girly smile……….and said!
“I only swallow for good boys 😀 now pass me that wine!”
(I hope you enjoyed my tale, and for those readers who’re wondering “Fact or Fiction?” All I’ll say is my story’s a ‘blend’ of truth and fantasy, 😀 and a few comments I’ll reveal which.)
……………..became friends, our email relationship had progressed to a point where one sunny afternoon in July, and not so long ago, I found myself in Chantelle’s London Flat ‘boudoir’ standing naked at the foot of a double bed inside her warm cosy bedroom, more precise I’d undressed totally nude only my hard cock to keep me company, holding it’s shaft in my hand a sort of comfort blanket, gently stroking calmed this horny guy excitedly anticipating heavenly pleasures only this voluptuous blonde could give me,
Oh did I say she was age 40!……………..Then through open door she walks this middle aged blonde goddess, with a big bum tight waste pert high round boobs, all dressed up as a nurse (backpage pic) in white mini-dress, her wide open cleavage as you’ve never seen in your life before.
We said hello, exchanged pleasantries and suddenly feeling quite emotional I moved to face her less than a metre apart, then peeking down her plunging neckline I moved closer still unbuttoning her all the way down, opening the white pinafore then slipping the soft cotton fabric backward over her shoulders, I remember standing transfixed dumb founded unable to move my eyes surveying up and down her pink naked body my brain trying to process this vision of beautiful naked womanhood. Chantelle has the firmest roundest most shapely breasts I’ve squeezed in my entire life, high and round about one handful. Then I place my hands above her hips pulling her body to me one final time, we embrace tightly, our heads along side each others, her baby soft cheeks pressing into my twelve hour stubble, her hushed voice saying,
“So Andrew what shall we do this fine afternoon?”
My heart beat slowed to normal, phew I thought to myself ‘we’re going to be ok, we’re going to have fun’ and completely relaxed I replied,
“Well in your email you said I could cum in your mouth and babe that sounds fine to me”, she giggled winked and said “not so fast honey, I want you inside my mouth but first some kissy kissy” and with that she grabbed great handfuls of my plump buttocks, her head leaning back giggling like the little girl Chantelle really was!
Then I kissed Chantelle, passionately, tongues deep inside the each other’s mouth, wet with saliva entwining dancing all you readers being aware there’s no body part more sensitive than the tongue………..we must have kissed for twenty minutes, you think I make this sh*t up? 😀 Nope, our embrace became tighter, bodies touching ever more intimate, my hands moving from hips to squeezing fat buttock cheeks then back to her hips again, we kiss ever more passionately, devouring, breathless into each other’s mouths, even red lipstick smeared across our lips, I thought her face appeared amusing until I saw my reflection in a mirror later.
I’m a boob man through and through, large or small pert or sagging, means no odds to me as long as I can play with them, suckle on a nipple, drink like a new born babe then I’m happy and satisfied. What does breast milk taste of? I’ve bottle fed my nephew with J’s own milk craving to suck just once but I didn’t!
I longed to touch Chantelle’s breasts, but our bodies were tooo close! “Loosen up girl!!!” I said momentarily pulling away!
We continued to kiss, two naked silhouettes drawn together, her arms wrapped less tightly around my waist pulling holding me against her, her warmth touched every part of the front of my body, such an affectionate embrace of two lovers who’d been here before. Aroused, sexually excited I struggled to slip my hand between our bodies so I could grope her firm breasts, but I’d been a worried man when we first cuddled, I could feel my aroused hardness pushing between her inner thighs, the pressure making the base of my purple bell end tingle, thousands of nerve endings electrified and I thought to myself ‘what if in my excitement I’d entered her, my now horizontal phallus pushed deep in to her wet vagina pressing against her womb, throbbing engorged with blood, hell I may have spontaneously orgasmed sticky cum inside, consensual mind, is involuntary semen exchange rape if she hadn’t expected my phallic explosion! But not to worry I missed her pink gash, I don’t much like fucking anyway but all’s well 🙂 my engorged phallus slipped between Chantelle’s warm squeezed thighs, briefly stroking wet labia lips, mind you hers did flap about a bit, we kissed and kissed and deep French kissed some more, many a minute passed before we spoke again.
I guess with tired lips and aching jaws we must have mutually sensed it time to stop the wonderful French, so backing away I moved on to her bed, body sinking into warm duvet and dutifully followed by my mature horny babe her wetness flowing out of her vagina like water drops slipping down glass in a rain storm, and like a reluctant virgin about to be deflowered on her wedding night she lay down beside me. We embraced affectionately then as tight as before, gently rolling over each other for what will be one of the more fantastic afternoons of my life, as for her? She always said she had fun but this time she wanted something different.
So lovely readers 😀 we leave our two lovers for the moment, embraced facing each other kissing on the lips, all very tender and motionless.
For months previous to first meeting we chatted time to time via email, Snapchat FB Twitter and Skype aren’t for me, aren’t for us, todays young internet generation can’t comprehend how two people can ‘play’ without help of social media and tell me where’s the harm daily writing to each other as our forbears would have? Do children today understand that written exchanges between lovers go as far back as Jane Austin times?
Love letters sent between lovers possessing intriguing codes secrets and hidden messages keeping each other guessing even after the letter is returned to it’s envelope, I enjoy email, it f*cking stresses me out mind, many a time I’ll press send then panic with questions of, ‘did I express myself as I intended? Oh God have I offended her? Worse still upset?’ Not to worry, more often than not my replies made her smile even laugh sometimes. Long ago I came to a decision not to on-line date, women have told me the horror stories, explained how scams work, perhaps I’m a cynic, for one thing is sure I know there are lots of lonely ladies out there, perhaps I should give it a try, honesty is one aspect of WordPress that is plain to see, the blogger you are reading is bearing her soul, truthful and trusting, me also because not a single word is a lie………………come to think of it perhaps on my old blog I did say I’d done anal, that must have been some weird dream because I haven’t been there…………..yet, enough and I’m SORRY!!!!!
Returning to naked me and Chantelle our bodies near joined as one tenderly rolling atop her double bed, me luckiest man alive hugging a beautiful mature lady……if a little overweight!
…………………. this romantic tale comes in four parts, hope you read part 1, btw the naughty part begins in part three but how I came to meet Chantelle is important to my story.
So no sex yet!
Keep patient hopefully you’ll find it pretty hot stuff!
………..this romantic tale took place (perhaps it’s fiction 😉 ) after I’d deleted my first blog and for twelve months I’ve purposely shied away from writing about my sex life, number one because no one is interested, number two I find reading sex blogs tedious tho I love reading erotic poetry, but sex blogs lack soul to the point I haven’t Followed one in over a year and number three I haven’t layed a woman in ages! True that.
And I’m NOT showing off!
So now you understand why I’ve refrained from tales of sex on this blog, apart from Helen’s striptease of course, but I didn’t masturbate while watching her breast examination so that doesn’t really count! I’ve banned myself from talking sex but for one time only I’m going to re tell a true story……. 😉 then again this may be fiction 😉 …… did you know there are awards for badly written erotic fiction………..I could Google it but can’t be assed b’cause it’s late!
Okay LOL I’ll attempt a dirty story………………. Setting the scene, one sunny afternoon several month’s ago I found myself inside a Flat in Canning Town………… that’s London to you………more precisely in a bedroom waiting for a mature woman, just how I like em!
Ok ‘I found myself in a Flat’ isn’t a great beginning, let me start again by saying Chantelle and I had emailed too and fro for many weeks before first meeting, not a dating site mind let’s just say dating isn’t entirely the point to the particular chatroom we frequent, wouldn’t you LOVE me to reveal it’s name, afraid not! Ok why not there’s this website called ‘backpage’ where you place an advertisement when want an item, let’s say for example a wardrobe no let’s say sex instead and you’ve guessed internet users looking for sex go to ‘backpage’ to find the look of someone they like, there’s a message board for corresponding, telephone numbers are exchanged and then if the guy likes the look of the woman and the woman likes the look of the guy AND they both believe and trust each other they meet up! Easy as NO it’s a frigging minefield of scammers liars raving nutcases, but if you trust your sixth sense, implicitly, use common sense ‘backpage’ can be fun BUT lol you won’t ever find your soul partner and live happily ever after! 😦
NO MONEY CHANGES HANDS!!!!
Do I need to explain anymore or have you fathomed how ‘backpage’ works? Put it this way you’re not buying a wardrobe in the furniture section!
God I could explain the point to ‘backpage’ and how it works ALL evening, lol let’s cut to the chase, one evening many months ago whilst scrolling through ladies pictures I happened across a forty year old divorcee called Chantelle, I clicked her thumbs up then she looks at my profile and clicks my thumbs up and then both being signed up members, how ‘backpage’ makes money, we both view each other’s profile pages normally hidden from view and importantly each other’s ‘photographs’ and when I say photographs I actually mean filthy near pornographic nude selfies, all tasteful and legal mind, well ours were on the whole tasteful, so we chatted on the message board, became friends then one sunny afternoon in July………
……………then again perhaps I didn’t cum in her mouth and this is a fictional tale. I remember sexy times with ladies as vivid images burnt across my mind, I remember conservations as if my brain possessed an old style tape recording machine, mental powers alone able to press a virtual reality play button whilst sitting on a commuting bus, gazing out the window daydreaming and bored………..Jeez there’s so many unforgettable conversations to replay then again some deeply regrettable, perhaps this is a privilege only bestowed upon persons using public transport? I really mean that, an opportunity tailor made for talented bloggers unlike me. (Ahh, but true!)
Yes you did read that right, public transport! It’s a question of time my lovelies solitary boredom feeds a wandering mind! Good that.
Sometimes I glance around people sitting on the top deck going to work, all doing very little, a few talking in hushed tones and not many read or listen to music which might surprise you, perhaps the jolting swaying down country lanes puts people off I know it does me. Most are silent deep in thought gazing out the windows, and I’ll find myself sitting there watching faces so curious, wondering what conversations and life stories they are playing back on their virtual tape machines? Arguments, happy times, last night’s telly or daydreaming sexual encounters they’ve had or wished they’d had, that pretty Sunday School teacher, a large bust so out of proportion for her slender figure, morning worship and I’d sit in the pew behind staring at the back of her bra, fantasies of what wonders the lingerie held up.
How many of you have the opportunity to sit alone each day, calm quiet with only your thoughts for company and if you’re really unlucky, two hours each day. Squandered precious time, Yes of course it is!
The deck of a bus holds forty adults all sexes and ages trapped constrained by passengers sitting next to them, all with important places to go, yes I’d agree if you said self inflicted solitude is dull and boring, if that’s what you’re thinking, but I’m here to tell you commuting to work by bus or train is one of life’s opportunities to let your imagination run riot, here comes the naughty bit.
No word of a lie many a time I’ve been travelling to work on a bus with an attractive young lady sitting next to me, I ain’t no perv mind but if you said voyeur, I am. I have been known to surreptitiously keep half an eye on her legs if she’s wearing a dress or skirt, you see when a lady sits you’ll know her skirt hem slips towards her hips, gliding across smooth black nylon tights revealing her shapely thighs squeezed tightly together, pussy lips closed tightly shut, her hem line resting distance dependent on the skirt’s length to begin with. Inconsequentials such as skirt length can make or break a bachelors day, if the lady works for a bank I’ll see her knees and little else, if she’s a College student (age 16+) chances are her skirt hem stops inches below her soft cotton gusset, knickers filled with forbidden fruit tasting moist and sweet on a guys tongue………………well pussy’s always taste sweet to me!
Where was I? Commuting to work by bus! Hmm before becoming side tracked by thoughts of female legs I hope I’ve explained that far from being boring quiet solitude, the rhythmic side to side rocking of a bus allows one’s imagination to race with perhaps dreams of conquests past……………………or then again what to cook for the children’s tea tonight………. you pays your money you takes your choice……….. and those of you who blog, maybe you’re a little envious? Nah Andrew don’t be silly, the gift of time is ticking away.
Returning to me seated next to a young lady, when opportunity permits gazing at her smooth thighs (student not banker), and bare in mind commuting etiquette necessitates let’s call rule number one, that two human bodies never knowingly touch other, not even the slightest of contact’s……. do and you’ll get an evil glare, slip a hand between her thighs and you’ll get five years inside! ……..I’ll reach the end of this bloody ‘hosiery’ tale if it takes all evening!!!! Time to time I’ll peek at her black tighted thighs, highly erotic and turning me on but not exciting enough to give me a full hard on, the young lady quite oblivious unless she herself looks down aware blood is engorging my groin causing a hump in my jean crotch.
Little does she know, her oh so sexy legs recall memories of pleasant afternoon’s spent in bed with females of my own, my now perfumed neighbour overpowering my consciousness. I wait in eager anticipation when a bus stops hoping for a pretty lady to sit next to me, clutching her handbag drawn into her tummy and if I rest my elbow on the window seal, support the weight of my head via hand and forearm, I can twist my torso slightly and watch her out the corner of my eye without her noticing, I hope, and when the bus rides a bump I see her heavy bust bounce or jiggle if she’s little tits, really lucky if her collars open I may even see the hint of a bra cup, that quickens my breath and makes my heart beat a little faster, a vapour of cheap perfume wafting my nostrils, bras boobs black tighted thighs give rise to a harder phallus…………even came in my boxers once, wonder if she noticed………so ladies if you’re sitting on a train next to a guy don’t assume he’s contemplating the weather! 😉
Got there in the end! Am I a naughty boy? Or am I worse?
I could write a book of tape recorded stories in my brain, oh I already have, they’re all on my first blog LONG ago deleted………….and why is a long story! But in hindsight I’m pleased I kept no copies, so beware all you poets, story tellers and bloggers, keep copies, back up your files!
The heavenly tale I’m soon to tell, remember you still have an opportunity to run, all……..
To be continued, and I ain’t deleting this time! 1000 words done 2000 to go.
Good news first, for the past two years I’ve been uploading videos onto my YouTube all filmed by my cheap and cheerful digital camera, however you’ll agree the picture quality is pretty poor. THEN yesterday evening it suddenly dawned on me I have a Samsung tablet with a great camera, taken me 8 months to figure that one out ffs.
Now the bad news, the weather across Great Britain is awful, by that I mean it’s rained constantly for two days, dry ditches are now running streams for heavens sake, yay I have a great quality video camera however if I go outside to film Oxfordshire’s fantastic Countryside I get absolutely soaked!
But like the trooper I am, I braved the rain just for my WordPress (absolutely true) filming the video below and my narration pretty much explains all, listen to the rain………
It’s only uploaded to test the camera’s picture quality so perhaps don’t watch. Bit boring.
Listen to that rain! I only wish I’d remembered I owned this Samsung when I visited beautiful Blenheim Palace………….. oh well we men aren’t the sharpest tools in the box!
If you have any British friends you’ll know we don’t half moan about the weather, it’s either too hot and sunny, or too wet and cold, mind you talking about our weather is a great ice breaker when you first converse with someone you don’t know.
Consequently due to the rain this isn’t the post I hoped to publish, I had planned to visit a local Abbey and walk the Cotswolds, unfortunately due to the fact Holly and I were soaked to the skin we settled for a short walk closer to home………… 🙂 Holly didn’t appear to mind!
Ahh 😀 I bet that Title caught your attention………..perhaps you’re curious “What’s gone and upset Andrew this evening?” ……and yes I agree my previous post was a little self indulgent but a little introspection is fine in small doses, re reading two months from now might be interesting?
I do enjoy these posts where I just write honestly and freely!
If you’ve read my naughtier posts and think I’m sexist read on, if not skip to the photograph below.
(The following morning on the 21st, I edited replaced the word misogynist with sexist, WOW I never realised misogynist is defined ‘A hater of women’, God, I don’t think any reader thinks I hate women…………. hmm 😀 sexist? You decide)
………..very occasionally I’ll contemplate the themes and content of my previous 92 posts, I did that the other day and re revisited one or two of my saucy posts and it dawned on me my language towards women could be seen as sexist, I’m not, I enjoy the company of women and I have utmost respect for the fair sex, but you have to realise since age 16 I’ve worked in male dominated environments and rightly or wrongly a blog allows us the freedom to write how we wish, within reason, or what’s the flipping point? ………… In truth I’m like all men, I’m a naughty boy at heart and writing ‘explicit’ posts makes me smile nothing more……… and anyways one overseas lady follower says 😀 she skips my naughtier posts which is fine………….a shame really b’cause they’re such fun to write.)
Returning to my frankly bizarre inflammatory Title, let me make clear I’m fine with a woman feeding her baby breast milk so as to keep the infant alive and grow up healthy.
Now look at this viral photograph circulating on Twitter the News and all other social media…………the lady is Bryony Esther and she’s feeding daughter Saffron 🙂
I truly wish I’d been a seated passenger on that train travelling through the South of England because this is a truly sad photograph, if I was one of those guys with blurred out faces I would have given up my seat and insisted the young lady sat down to feed her baby, but no this story is World News because none of those men did and worse still the owner of the bike is sat in a priority seat for disable, pensioner or anyone else in need……………….. fucking selfish bastard!!
In her words “Despite ‘hovering’ near the priority seating area no-one offered to move and instead began sniggering”.
On all levels this is such a sad photograph, a young lady with upset in her eyes and many selfish grown men lacking all humanity and common decency and I hope their mums sisters girlfriends and wives get to see this selfie ‘snapped’ by Bryony herself!
I’m certainly no angel and I’m not looking for plaudits or praise, but do you ever find yourself reading a story watching a News item and thinking ‘I wish I’d been there’ so I could do the right thing’………….such a sad photo! Why are people such assholes?
As for breastfeeding in public, don’t get me started, I’ve been there when my sister-in-law has breast fed one of her three sons in public, what’s the big deal? Why do people complain? I while ago I was walking towards the centre of Oxford and passed by a lady seated at a pavement table outside a restaurant, and as I walked by I remember thinking to myself how beautiful is that, what is more natural than a woman feeding her baby.
A work colleague and very good friend once said to me “Andrew the trouble with you is you think tooo much”, and do you know what, the more I learn and the longer I live I’m convinced overthinking is part of a human being’s DNA, you cannot change the way you are genetically programmed can you. A thought crossed my mind the other day, I do hope readers don’t think my posts are taken from my old blog or worse still penned years ago! Nope, every clumsily written Post is idly dreamt up at work and drafted a day or so before publishing. I’ve been thinking of stopping for a while, don’t get me wrong I adore WordPress and I WILL MOST definitely continue reading the bloggers I follow because I enjoy them tooo much, the only downside is their talented use of language and composition shows up my inadequacies as a writer or perhaps it’s a lack of ideas? You see my life is empty and uncomplicated when I should strive and strive again to fill it with joy, I can’t help thinking my inability to meet a female, become friends, marry or partner up will haunt me till my dying day………… but that’s ok, that’s life I guess, I have a LOT to be thankful for but I get this awful dreaded premonition over thinking may have screwed my whole life up! Come the fateful day when I reach those pearly gates and St. Peter says “So Andrew what have you done with your life my friend?” I’ll answer “Not a lot Peter, you see I squandered it, I wasted that most precious of gifts time itself” and yes St. Peter will be angry, I’m sure it’ll be anger and not pity such a disgusting trait feeling sorry for oneself. Yep I fucked up big time and I never did get to have sexual intercourse in a car, that’s a big regret, love making in a car may not seem that important to you but it’s a major rights of passage between apprentice engineers electricians and practical young men, God the stories and b*llsh*t I’ve had to listen to lunch break after lunch break, lurid tales lavished by thirty of the greatest seventeen year old lads you could ever hope to meet, amazing disclosures explaining the complexities of getting a girls knickers off in the back seat of his first car, let alone the mountain that is giving the young lady a right good seeing to, surely position cowgirl in a mini metro is a physical impossibility? Or maybe a BJ is nearer the truth 😀 some of life’s more memorable stories are born of comradery. I’ve slept with quite a few women in my life, fourteen to be exact (is that above average?), but casual internet relationships and the like don’t count do they, (perhaps I’ve been fartooo honest here this past two years, distasteful even, disgusted readers). Where was I, yes true love is finding a good woman, however there’s another popular definition of love favoured by many bloggers, namely ‘soul mates’, turns out finding your soul mate is love’s Holy Grail, no? Perhaps you’ve been reading the wrong blogs then, but seriously finding one’s soul mate happens 🙂 ………… where was I? Yes that flipping St. Peter……….perhaps come my fateful judgement day, it’ll finally dawn on me I should have spent my life believing in a God instead of being so dismissive of religion and spirituality, would a belief in a higher being, a supreme creator have cured me of my apathy, regrets and thoughts of missed opportunities, squandering gifts God given, not taking risks may have cost me dear? In my defence the odd lucky break would have been appreciated, I’ve never fully come to terms or coped well living with my drug resistant epilepsy this past twenty five years, not withstanding ‘the however many years that still remain’, that’s the real killer……………………….. trouble is I don’t believe in a God, hmm this is a very self indulgent post but hey my blog and all that. For what it’s worth I’m convinced the real point to life is wait for it! The meaning of life ‘is to love and be loved’, simple as, without love living is meaningless and yes pointless, you may just as well be dead because your soul will be. My brother has a wife with children, I try not to envy him but increasingly I kinda do 🙂 they’re such fabulous witty fun loving boys, the family all love each other and I’d bet M. and J. (parents) don’t wake up on a morning and throw the towel in, they can’t can they! There’s mouths to feed, clothes to pay for and they’re both blessed with love and fun that comes with having children.
Best stop there 🙂
So 😀 after making clear my posts are original and new, today’s short tale is taken from Sunday last and I’d agree it’s not the most riveting of reads lol, however it’s honest to the core….and brief 🙂
The dinner plate of delicious looking food below is often referred to as Britain’s traditional English Sunday roast dinner, and that particular one in the photograph was captured at my mother’s last Sunday lunch time, but please note the choice of meat can vary, perhaps pork chicken or my absolute favourite lamb with mint sauce! Wow what a combination!!!
So there you are, my dinner consisted of roast beef, roast potatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, runner beans (growing in her garden fifteen minutes earlier) and two Yorkshire puddings and not for getting gravy made from the meat juices…………yum yum.
…………… the photo below taken by me show’s mum stirring the gravy…………
…………and the photo below shows me washing up after we’ve eaten!
So a question for you, 🙂 who gets the better deal, me having a Sunday roast made for me by mum? Or mum taking her dog for a long walk down by the river, through the meadows or circling the reservoir nature reserve? Personally I think I get the better deal, mum probably thinks she does because she’s a little arthritis and Holly has boundless energy, mind you two hours exercising in the rain is heavenly fun (hmm inadvertently back to Peter)………….AND don’t forget I do the washing up! 😀
I can cook for myself, everyone should be able to feed themselves in a civilised society, however I find preparing a meal hassle after a days work, anyways I’ll finish this post on an up note, popping over to mum’s for Sunday roast is richly anticipated and sincerely appreciated once eaten!
(18/07/2017 – I first published my June sightseeing trip to London tale several days ago, however I linked an EXTREMELY tacky YouTube video to accompany that post, call it one of those ‘seemed a good idea at the time’ ideas but in hindsight ‘that’ video and intro was neither tasteful amusing or in the slightest bit relevant to my tale, not to worry I can put that right…….!)
Britain has recently experienced it’s hottest June for 40 years, and bang in the middle of a record hot week I took the coach to Central London hoping to do a little sightseeing of my own, I hadn’t visited for several years anyways the day turned out to be a 36 degree body sweltering furnace and the sightseeing was gorgeous………..don’t get me wrong mind we’ve been waiting…. always waiting for sunny days like these.
Blue skies accompany a burning hot sun (I had to buy suntan lotion for the first time in years), searing heat like I’ve never experienced rising up from pavement stone and if you’ve read my Blog before you may have guessed this post could well be one of my sexy stories, all good fun and you’d be right! So without further ado I’ll let you into a little secret, when temperatures rise in the United Kingdom so the English public change into their summer dress ESPECIALLY the ladies, actually if mind serves me right it’s written into legislation!!!
The reason why is simple to explain, there’s both the novelty summer’s finally arrived and we know for sure it won’t last long consequently British women throw all modesty and caution to the wind, you’ve heard the phrase stir-crazy well I’ve coined days like these as sun-crazy, dress hems get shorter, bras are discarded, tee shirts tighter and bustier and for a brief couple of days a year I don’t recognise the Country I’m living in. ❤
Lol you want an example? ………..Ok if I’m pushed, there I am waiting to buy a ticket at London Embankment Underground station, packed with commuters jostling for escalators important places to go and as you do I join a queue of people waiting to buy a train ticket, then my eyes clock a young lady with long blonde hair wearing a dairy cream coloured skirt white crotchet top and no bra!……………, Hmm all very observant of you Andrew!
So I’m watching this attractive young lady purchasing her Oyster Card ticket, arm raised above her head pressing coins down a slot and what do I see below her armpit? A gaping looping hole in her top that’s what I see! A wardrobe malfunction revealing her perky pink boob with nipple, common I couldn’t make this sh*t up and even MORE bizarre standing behind her is a policeman wearing a Kevlar chest guard wielding his machine gun.
Then I followed her NO!!!! …………. Bless her, she’s only young once and looked fabulous!
Now jump forward two hours and I’m wandering through Hyde Park making my way towards Buckingham Palace and my ‘attention’s’ drawn to a group of young women sunbathing in bikinis, Central London for heavens sake! 😀 , later still I buy a refreshing ice lolly (£2.75 ffs) and three young women hip sway past me wearing the tightest of tops no bras and nipples like Scammell wheel nuts, there are micro-skirts hot-pants crop-tops and bare legs as far as the eye can see…………………..a great day to be alive perhaps not so great for Andrew’s blood pressure
……then guess what two days later heavy black clouds roll in, temperatures drop by 15 degrees and we return to conservatively dressed British normality as if nothing ever happened. Funny old World!