Something and nothing



Several of the more regular readers to Blog Andrew know what I can be like, a middle aged closet drama queen who likes wearing women’s stockings, writes about sex and bs, in love with mature women and all with a healthy nipple sucking boob obsession. Oh and did I ever tell you (I did) a blogger friend I used to email correspond with sent me photos of her boobs on my birthday, jeeze that cold winter’s evening was a shock and a half I can tell you and no I’m not gonna tell you when my birthday is, NO and you can ask and pester me all you wish but NO you can’t have it!!

Hmm there’s a thought, are sending topless selfies to adult friends illegal?

Anyways I had fun writing a post yesterday if a little rushed, I published and then realised if taken quite literally the young lady in question (a true story) could be considered a paedophile because on re reading and re reading and re reading…………….. and re reading to labour a frigging point it reads she was and I’d hate readers to think that! My removed tale when read in the current 2017 child abuse firestorm sweeping the Western World, is well dodgy! The young lady could be interpreted as grooming thirteen year old boys :/ but she wasn’t, yes thirty years ago society ‘appeared’ to live in more innocent times however in hindsight how WRONG we all were!

Last night I had a drama queen moment and realised for the first time whilst writing on Blog Andrew my heroine lol, the young lady could be considered by a reader as being a sex offender and that isn’t fair. 🙂 She wasn’t, I have been known lol to get carried away with myself here especially if I’m feeling a little ‘excited’! Well to put you straight I’m sure as she splashed around the paddling pool she realised her panties were showing to us teenage boys and interpret that as you wish. (Put it this way I was happy!)

I’ve never forgotten this lady’s wistful naïve expression, she very clearly adored her toddler baby, who was quite obviously the focus of her attention and as I guess all mother’s understand the very centre of her universe, yes I’m sure she knew we boys could see her knickers but so what ‘IF’ she had a little fun with us that’s fine. 

I’m going to reblog (soon) my tale so you can comment ‘f#ck me Andrew what a frigging let down it was a crap story and I’m p#ssed!’ ………………..fair point.



I’m drowning in a sea of clutter

If you were to stand at the position where these pictures were taken, you’d be looking into my spare bedroom and I’m unsure about yourself but I’m struck by a commonly used English phrase, “I own tooo much stuff!”

The ironing board and iron I need, the tools are essential to my occupation also home, as for the rest? I could sell the lot and rent out my spare bedroom to an age20 lady from say Romania! :/ Now there’s a thought, female toiletries in the bathroom 😉 panties and bras on the washing line………….where’s the telephone for that website Russian Brides again?

I’d guess several times a week I ask myself ‘how on earth did I get myself into the position where I’ve accumulated so many items?’ Personal possessions I assume are essential to my existence? I’ll spare you any further photographs just to say if you peered into my garage the scene presenting itself will be pretty similar, clutter everywhere, implements and tools that are perhaps used twice a year or never!

But of course the reasons to buy so much ‘stuff’ in the first place, is simply an effort to save money, owning a lawnmower is because employing a gardener to cut one’s grass would cost hundreds of pounds. Owning the tools to fix a leaky tap are again because DIY is far cheaper and more convenient than phoning a plumber and paying his daylight robbery callout fee.

Ok those two examples are no brainers that could be themed essentials to living, but come on Andrew, why keep a camera’s that uses 35mm film when I’ll only ever use a digital for the rest of my life? Yes camera and lenses cost me quite literally hundreds of pounds and I guess that’s the honest reason I’m loathed to sell them, but there comes a time when you have to bite the bullet. Btw SLR’s are advertised for £5 on eBay and they don’t sell!

I could write of many many more possessions dotted around my home, most that’ll never serve their designed function ever again, so perhaps it’s time to stop procrastinating, seize the day and perhaps advertise on eBay, earn myself a few pounds OR better still donate to a Charity Shop!


Photography session pt3 – final thoughts!

A massage tale and little else, no sex. 🙂

Masseuse (noun) def. A woman who provides massage professionally.

I must apologise for my misleading post Title that was naughty, and yes click bait at its worst! You’ll have guessed there were more selfies in this series of me modelling lady’s black stockings, however I’m worried some of you lady readers might pass out (or 😉 moisten) so I’ll keep them private, especially after reading such complimentary feedback! 😀 Then again 100 Likes ‘here’ and I’ll share them how’s that for a deal? NO!!!

I quite enjoyed photographing myself actually, viewing my body in a whole new perspective is fascinating sexy even, and if you were wondering those stocking’d pictures were captured using my Samsung Galaxy Tablet, I ONLY wish I’d remembered I owned a video camera because the movies filmed at Blenheim Palace could have been so much more spectacular!

Talking of dick pictures! I’ve never sent a lady a photo of my dick but the more I read about this nasty habit, a female victim’s reaction is either “whatever”, an unimpressed “wtf” or a more usual “that’s disgusting”. Yet some men appear to love exposing their manhood to women, why? However they’d probably have to think twice in future, current sexual assault legislation is in a whirlwind of change, a firestorm of change and quite right to.

I visited my Polish masseuse, then wrote a ridiculously long 4000+ word post, drafted and split into 3 parts! But I’ve been posting tooo often just recently, I have this sixth sense people are a little bored with my musings and to be honest I’ve wrapped up the series one might call, sexual observations of the female human mammal, for that’s what we are, just another mammal amongst thousands that walk planet earth!

Hmmm no doubt some lady will prompt another sexy post!

Oh yes my Polish masseuse, I visited her rented flat, I stripped naked as she sat on the bed wearing a rather stern expression watching me undress, and the more I think about her staring the more I’m convinced she was waiting to see what specimen of men’s member she would soon be consensually playing with! But many women have seen me undress to be unfazed by them gazing at my manhood.

So there I am stripped naked and extremely warm because her one bedroom flat was hotter than a sauna. I lay face down atop a bath size towel stretched out on her bed, feeling Lydia climb on after me I make myself comfortable and finally relax. I must admit I hadn’t expected her to sit on top of my thighs her knees straddling my waist, I could even feel her warm crotch against my skin, her knees squeezed tight against my hips making sure I wasn’t going anywhere!

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A very beautiful lady.

For the following ten minutes Lydia massaged my back transporting me to heaven, her skilful touch is an experience a guy hopes dreams and wishes for, gorgeous Lydia with her dextrous fingertips massaging scented oils into my shoulder muscles, the fibres tense and knotted, applying gentle pressure to tired muscles which later that evening were yes a touch sore. Not to worry I hadn’t experienced such powerful tingling sensations ever!

Then she asked me to roll over, propped a pillow behind my neck raising my head because she was worried I’d pass out. Again she straddled my hips, her knees so far apart I could see the profile of her ‘lady bits’, she was smiling at me gazing at her private region because it was quite deliberate. I became aroused, a signal for Lydia to get the baby oil bottle and plastic gloves out drizzling the cold liquid down the shaft of my p#n#s, then with skilful right hand she rhythmically tugged twisted and rubbed giving me the best hand relief I’d ever received, then she pushed her left index finger inside my you know and when she stroked my prostate my eyeballs rolled into the back of my head!!! Finally came the money shot as I gazed at her perfectly shaped boobs inside a cotton balconette bra………… I showered, dried myself, dressed, we hugged and I left a happy, very happy satisfied Andrew.

There was to be no sex, no oral, no touching of her incredible body, no kissing all of which I’d known courtesy of her website, and as I’d prepared myself to expect. Lydia was a little more (if you call prostate little more) than your average masseuse, however hers wasn’t an adult service, she was totally professional and importantly to me skilful genuine and lovely, basically all that I’d hoped for. 

😉 A Google image? I’ll let you decide!


Andrew x




My apologies I haven’t ‘published’ this last few days but believe it or not, and I know this will amaze and astound you 😀 every post has to be just right before sharing on WordPress, I know incredible lol but true! So if I’m lacking inspiration or a little world weary, a consequence maybe stories photos or a silly yet true tale won’t appear, each one of us at times finds life tricky to navigate however just know I religiously read everyone I follow. 🙂 (Makes me sound like a stalker NOT!!)

I have several unfinished posts in Draft, one could be titled, “the life changing moment I by chance saw my first pussy labia lips’ age 14, also “the life changing moment I fingered my first woman’s vagina!’ My age to be disclosed but over 18!…………….However perhaps both are a little tooo tacky even for Blog Andrew even with my light hearted hopefully amusing turn of phrase, and perhaps a good place to end my accounts of first sexual experiences from my youth.

:/ Then again parting my very first ‘lady’s’ labia lips, losing my virginity were special mind blowing milestones in my life, a beautiful experience and an incredible afternoon 😮 as you’d well imagine. Btw for some inexplicable reason themes of posts that are quite popular?

I love feedback and soon after publishing last, a Nigerian young lady commented ‘you don’t appear to be looking forward to the Christmas Party?’, Miss if I may call you Miss, that particular post of mine is purely a product of middle age, let me explain an Office Party is a little contrived politics and all, a one off have you will and incidentally I am attending. I was being a little tongue in cheek actually because the evening won’t be so bad but they’re not technically your typical kind of party if that makes sense, you’ll understand one day.

So Esther don’t take tooo much notice of any sentiment behind that one post, my advise to you is ‘party on’ whilst you are young and enjoy yourself, ignore my negativity 😀 and I’m not patronising you. Anyways not to worry I wouldn’t 🙂 don’t take any notice of my lack of enthusiasm if that’s how I came across in my post, Office Parties are not 😉 a typical of the Parties you’ll be going tooo!!…………. Just wait twenty years or so.




Fun Fair pt 2 – My videos

The louder you scream the faster you go!

Peter Kay writer of Phoenix Nights.

(I made a ‘rather unfortunate’ remark on my previous post pointing out not all Bloggers are happy with YouTube videos appearing on WordPress, my apologies if you thought me arrogant but the use of video is an interesting discussion point. :/ You see a while ago I read a Post where this very nice Blogger made clear WordPress is for writers but not a suitable place for YouTube videos, and they were of course ABSOLUTELY correct, writers! As for myself I’m a serial repeat offender 😀 when we’re talking video but I don’t think sharing hurts once in a while and there’s always a context. Either way my remark was out of place.)

So with alternative media in mind here’s my Oxford St. Giles Fun Fair videos from September 2017, all linked from my YouTube Channel 🙂 and hopefully they complement my previous Fun Fair post ‘please click here’. TY

Andrew 🙂

St. Giles Fair, Oxford Sept 2017

All photographs ©Andrew (I doubt copyright applies but they’re all photographed by me.)

“The louder you scream the faster you go!”

Peter Kay writer of Phoenix Nights.

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Early September the travelling Fairground camped it’s metaphorical wagons right bang in the centre of historic Oxford City for the annual St. Giles Fair! Now I know some of you aren’t great fans of YouTube videos appearing on Blogs and I understand why, this is a tiny backwater of the internet reserved for writers, so yes I understand. 

Having said that they appear another day.

After finishing work I walked through the sleeping Fun Fair around 6pm as the owners were just beginning to prepare their rides for the evening’s exciting entertainment, and rather than hang around in the rain I carried on walking right through, Galaxy Tablet in my rucksack, making for the Odeon cinema where I watched the excellent Dunkirk starring Tom Hardy, and yes ladies even if I say it myself he is gorgeous!

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Wow there’s people in those cars!

Then two hours later I stepped out of the cinema into driving rain and daylight had been transformed into pitch black night, yet all around shone thousands of vibrant coloured lights along with excited human screams and VERY loud pop music………the Fun Fair had arrived in Oxford with a Bang!

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Galloping horses, this Fairground ride has it’s beginnings 200 years ago, when steam powered traction engines would turn the wheels through use of belts and pulleys. How do I know this? I’ve visited Dorset steam rallies and seen them with my own eyes.

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So I took my Tablet from my rucksack, signed in as you do, and throughout the next hour I took many photos also short videos all uploaded onto my YouTube Channel! And no I lol didn’t go on any rides, no, my neurosurgeon told me never to and I’m certainly not going to argue with a medical consultant brain surgeon………made a good excuse anyway.

Haha that’s gotten you curious, perhaps my fixation with ladies breasts is a medical condition after all. 😛

Btw I wasn’t half worried that my Tablet would be stolen from my hands, things I do for WordPress haha.

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Stalls with their cuddly toy animal prizes, I can’t help wondering if they’ve passed European tests for fire safety? :/ Btw I’m not attempting to be funny!

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The rifle games amuse me, people take aim at an object standing less than two metres away yet they cannot hit the target! You don’t think the owners have bent the rifle barrels by any chance? 

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St. Giles Fair is a famous and historic annual festival lasting two evenings, then on the Wednesday morning as I walk through the city centre at 7am every resemblance of the previous evenings Fairground rides had upped and gone, the owners had worked right through the night clearing up and all the stalls rides and lorries had disappeared, the wagons had upped sticks and left town!

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Oh yes I said famous and historic! The Fair has been coming to Oxford for hundreds of years, and I’ve worked with old timers who remember boxing booths, where local hard men could pay to take on the travelling fighter in I guess a boxing ring, but alas Health and Safety legislation has put a stop to those fun and games.

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As an engineer by trade I can’t help thinking as I gaze at these human beings spinning across the nights sky, how safe are these rides really? Every couple of evenings they’re stripped down taken apart, then screwed back together in another Town! :/ Like I said I’m an engineer employed in a structural materials Group looking into metal fatigue in Rolls Royce aero engines, not the ideal man to be stood watching people enjoying themselves trying to wipe the many what ifs from my consciousness!

I cannot help it, happens all the time, the price of being a qualified engineer? Lol in the past I’ve worked with the wing material specimens from the original Airbus planes! 

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In the background you’ll see the sandstone high walls and buildings of St. Johns College, very famous and 800 years old and currently being used as a film set, you won’t believe the amount of movies and TV dramas you’ve watched where Oxford College’s have appeared Harry Potter being one of them. So look out for the buildings laying further behind the Fair rides.

And of course where would any Fun Fair be without it’s dodgem cars? Fabulous 🙂

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Enough chatter lol, these are my photos and for those of you who do enjoy YouTube videos they will appear on a forthcoming post in a few days time 🙂 Sorry.

Ahh nearly forgot, here’s B&W photos from St. Giles Fair taken decades past, straw boaters white blouses and long heavy black skirts, don’s wives?

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A lady called Jen. (Blog relationships pt2/2)

……………………. continued from Blog relationship pt1/2.

9e4c11acc7b31eab9fa6f52abddc54efSo rather nervously I agreed to meet her in person, and note there was no pressure on either side, then one sunny Saturday afternoon in August I travelled by train to a Town with no name in central England and all I can say is as the platform came into view for two pins I would have stayed on the train until the next stop then gone straight home again!

I didn’t and to say I was apprehensive stepping onto that platform is a given, but I needn’t have worried because on recognising me Jen walked straight up and we hugged tightly and rather intimately for two strangers who’d NEVER spoken to each other before! So very strange in hindsight and the affection still makes me laugh to this day. Now to answering a question I’m hoping any readers are asking themselves namely did we get along, did we like each other and what happened next?

Well yes the hug was rather intimate for strangers, there was a natural unspoken warmth between us and if you’d like to know yes we hit it off within seconds. She was ever the woman I’d been reading about for all these past months and Jen was exactly as I imagined her to be, her personality, sense of humour, kindness were exactly the same as shone through her blog posts and I have a feeling she understood me more than I give her credit for, and all simply because we were very honest on WordPress.

However true love never blossomed, in fact after several minutes of chatting we soon realised this would only ever be friendship but that didn’t matter, neither needed to say it we just knew 😦 , Jen was attractive (I will say no more except 😉 big and she wouldn’t mind me saying) and a lovely lady but you either know there’s a spark of love or there isn’t but that’s ok lol I didn’t travel all that way trying to find a wife. Looking back in hindsight I understand we’d only ever be on-line friends but you never know unless you meet do you, we met as friends more out of curiosity than romantic attraction and had a fun day.

So after a hug and several minutes chatting on the platform, I turned around and got back on the train! Lolol no no NO! Couldn’t resist that!

With proper introductions exchanged, Jen took my hand in hers and we walked out of the station gates and at her suggestion breathlessly strode up a rather steep hill making for a cafeteria to have coffee together. And yet again walking hand in hand with a complete stranger appeared very natural there was a warmth ease and friendly naturalness about our conversation which never left us for the rest of the day, in truth we chatted endlessly and only because we already knew each other so well just through reading eithers blog posts and comments then moving to private email, note for four months or so.

On entering the café Jen sat by the window I bought two coffees paying at the counter, then on joining her at the chosen table I noticed she was texting on her Smart phone sporting a broad smile across her face! When she looked up and obviously reading my quizzical expression she explained she’d been texting her best friend to say everything was fine safe and ok, then for the next twenty minutes or so in between sips of coffee we reminisced about past blog conversations, talked of our families, occupations and I know it sounds rather cheesy but we quite hit it off at one point laughing as she rather tooo loudly said “well you do have rather a nice cock! (I’d seen her breasts in a post btw!)

However perhaps I’m reading to much into WordPress’s importance when meeting a blogger, perhaps our meeting could equally have gone the other way irrespective of we were friendly bloggers, perhaps meeting a blog friend can quite as easily go the other direction beginning with awkward silences and not really taking to each other.

Who knows!

Coffees drunk, Jen suggested buying prepared food in an adjoining Delicatessen then driving out into the countryside to eat together and that’s just what happened! We bought food and bottles of drink which I lol insisted paying for and she later thanked me for in that evening’s email (nice guy me! 🙂 ) Then we walked to her car, and she drove us out of Town following a road ending at a car park situated in rather beautiful countryside. On locking the car I followed Jen along a path through a meadow coming to an abrupt stop in front of a canal! I shan’t bore you with any further detail other than we sat by the water one sunny warm afternoon and continued to chat about our lives……….. that we became SO personal is purely down to WordPress blogging commenting and replying.

Well food eaten and a walk in the sun, we decided to finish for the afternoon and Jen drove me back to the station, walked me to the platform where we both waited for my train, then as my Oxford bound train came into view we two hugged even more tightly than first previous (a genuine loving bear hug) 🙂 To this day I’ve never forgotten the feel of her bra strap as my arms were round her and I as we pulled apart, my fingers brushed the sides of her bra cups, I felt the lacy material beneath her light top, and you have to believe me when I say touching her bra was by sheer accident and only because I was a little overcome with emotion, honest! Later that evening I emailed Jen to apologise and she replied with,

“I smiled and thought to myself that’s cheeky! 😀 but I didn’t mind in the slightest”. Don’t you think that’s sweet? I do.

If you recall at the beginning of my ‘blog relationships’ tale, we both felt an empathy and friendliness upon first meeting, however we both instinctively understood there wouldn’t be any wedding bells lol! You just know don’t you. 🙂 But that’s ok, yes we were lonely and single adults but in hindsight I have a feeling we both really wanted to meet out of curiosity, I’m a firm believer if you meet someone as a friend then that’s all you’ll ever be is friends. now you’re wondering what happened next? For several weeks or so after we emailed everyday, both continued to post on WordPress and then as happens real life get’s in the way, then our emailing became less frequent until stopping completely the last time being exchanging Christmas Greetings. Jen and I never met in person again, I live in Oxford she in Central England which is a long train journey away, so as happens, time passes and we lost touch, that’s life there’s no malice or specific reason we stopped. Is there any point to meeting again if we both hoped for romance, if I’d lived closer would we have met in person again? I doubt it, Jen was adorably a lady on a mission, a born romantic and I’d guess she’s still internet dating hoping to find and meet her soul mate. I do so hope she’s found the love she so craves.

One final thought.

Hypothetically if you were to ask me is there a point to lengthy email relationships I’d have to answer of course yes! I could be wrong but I have the impression Natalie’s friendship was a meeting of two minds and an intellectual friendship, who knows? With myself our four casual emailing friendships were little more than chatting about our lives friends family work and relationships having a laugh and yes E did send me photos of her tits on my birthday. Incidentally with three of the four ladies, the emailing’s ended I’ve deleted every single message and photo, except C’s. The nicest thing women have said to me on WP is I make them laugh. Make’s me happy knowing that trouble is why am I still single?

So yes of course there is a point, relationships of any kind are unpredictable and fun also tiring and requiring dedication, so yes of course email but perhaps keep in mind how they’re likely to finish, perhaps be prepared for an end game where neither person feels the other’s let them down emotionally and certainly don’t end a friendship under a dark cloud with one person deleting all traces of you from their blog. I don’t think there’s any need for drama, it seems so sad people end up feeling hurt for no other reason than a simple misunderstanding. Perhaps stick to making each other laugh, E and I had a blast but we also tried to help each other with our own real relationship problems, enough said.

Will I exchange email addresses with a lady blogger again? No, only because trying to express myself through a blog post is bloody difficult and deeply problematic enough, four is enough, however I’m NOT saying ‘don’t you do it’ because one day you may share a picnic with your own blog friend by a canal in the sun.


Introduction to ‘A Lady Called Jen’

A fun prelude post 🙂

Hopefully you’ll have read ’email friendships with other bloggers Part 1 if not here’s the link part 2 follows directly after this post.

Jen the lady blogger I met in person and the tale of our day together follows in part 2.

NOT that boobs are important to my tale 😀 but you may wish to know I lightly stroked Jen’s bra by accident! You see after our farewell embrace on the train platform, as our two body’s separated, as my arms pulled away from hugging her, my fingers brushed the sides of her bra cups feeling the lacy fabric beneath. You see I’d fallen for Jen :/ but alas she hadn’t fallen for me anyways I’d become a little emotional at the station and I guess that’s why I unintentionally ‘touched her’ 😉 .

Not to worry we both laughed afterwards, in fact she reminded me of this lady below 😉

‘Big and mature’ just how I like my women!

Andrew (I do try my best with these posts 😀 )


Email friendships with other bloggers (pt1/2)

This is a response post of sorts to arwenaragornstar plus a personal tale of my own. (Whenever I glance at the lady’s web address my first thought is arenarapornstar, true!)

I follow many different bloggers for many differing reasons but always because their blog posts capture my imagination, creative writers like arwenaragornstar. Well after reading the lady’s fascinating post Connections she inspired me to give my own thoughts on whether corresponding with WP bloggers by email is a good idea or not, 🙂 yes of course it is but in my opinion doing so should be considered carefully.


I give no confidences away because as you can read in Natalie’s ‘connections’ whilst a little drunk she wrote an email she shouldn’t have or should she have? A blog friend took it badly, over dramatically even, so perhaps it’s worth keeping in mind a ‘blog friendship’ will always end sometime so being prepared might be an idea. Like many people I have emailed bloggers and sooner or later through no ones fault friendships will ‘fizzle out’, run their natural course or possibly egos and feelings could get hurt? Which seems such a shame when we’re here just for fun. 🙂

I’ve consensually emailed 4 lady bloggers on WordPress (by consensual I mean I’m not a frigging stalker and we’re talking two year timespan) and all innocently came about through commenting and replying to each other’s posts before then moving to private email. Corresponding with Blogger P a casual friend ended when she got married! Blogger E again a casual friend ended when she finished WP. Time to time Blogger C and myself email where we chat about family and relationships, and finally with a lady blogger we’ll call Jen we met in person. 

I guess if there is a point to be made our friendships were very warm friendly and private, yes three have ended but I’m SO pleased no feelings have been hurt. However for perhaps interesting reasons to you? I’ve decided there’ll be no fifth simply because you have to be aware writing takes time and dedication, misunderstandings can occur and it’s easy to feel I’d offended her in some way or she’d offended me when neither is true! 😮 Oh and keep in mind they could get married!

Btw I’m NOT saying don’t penpal with a blogger just because I say so!……….DO email if you want, because you may never know where a written relationship will take you, just realise they’ll end one day? And I’ve just this second discovered penpal isn’t known in WordPress’s spellcheck, now ain’t that ‘frigging’ sad!

My greatest pleasure on WordPress, second to posting, is interacting with other Bloggers and yes on four occasions I’ve privately emailed back and forth with a lady, but you’ll have to wait a day or so for tale where I met with a lady blogger in person, and all through getting to know each other here on WordPress. I’ve never told you? Oh well now I have, however just be aware I will only be sharing sketchy detail in the interest of confidentiality secrecy and privacy.

Going that extra step and actually physically meeting with another blogger is rather daunting, just like a first date, and I would advise saying yes is a decision not to be taken lightly, lol they may be a stalker a frigging psychopath or absolutely lovely! However in the story I’m about to share we did in fact meet and she was adorably sweet kind and lovely.

After posting and commenting on a lady (we will name her Jen) blog posts for many months or so gave me a good idea as to the personality values and honesty of the lady I was to meet up with and she was exactly how I’d imagined even nicer! Incidentally if you’ve both shared photographs even perhaps the occasional butt photo as I’ve been known to then again, then you already share a trust and have a good idea if she has a similar sense of humour and outlook on life. Who wants to meet someone who takes themselves tooo seriously?

But you should know we shared several common similarities, we were both over forty, single, very lonely and yes both open to a friendship blossoming into something a whole lot more serious and I DON’T mean sex! Neither Jen or myself were players, far to honest for any of that stupidity, nope we were little more than two lonely singletons meeting for the first time hoping for a spark, a connection and certainly nothing as shallow as casual sex.

To be honest I did feel rather sad reading Jen’s blog posts of an evening because the lady met with men chosen from internet dating websites and she had some real horror stories to tell me! Ranging from the guy who didn’t look anything like his profile photographs, also a scammer who became angry on the phone when she didn’t agree to sending him money, anyways that’s enough personal detail.

So you may wish to stop here after reading my personal thoughts in response to ‘connections’ but hold on, my day trip tale to meet Jen follows in a couple of days and hopefully you’ll enjoy reading a true brief encounter! 🙂



Sunday evening Blog thoughts (serious)

Hopefully a little offensive 🙂bouncing_boobs_288x1921

Totally off the cuff, 24/09/2017 @ 23:46 precisely! And not once did I talk about one of the loves of my life namely ladies tits, the droopier they are the better, it means you can fit all the more in your mouth! Aww damn!

I suffer from a syndrome that doesn’t exist and I’ve just this moment dreamt up called ‘This is my final ever post for WordPress’ err syndrome!! You see I’m not a poet, I’m not a book reviewer, I don’t write sexy tales swirling round white girly imaginations about them holidaying in deepest darkest Africa and being captured by a tribe of spear throwing men wearing tiger skin underpants, then taking the slip of a girl to their mud hut in the jungle and raping her any way they can! Now hold on!!!

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If U looked at your Stats, has anyone been viewed in North Korea?

A reflective thoughtful Post from Andrew this evening, not forgetting concise! Only 427 words for a change 🙂 I have a nature post coming but with Trump’s finger hovering over the nuclear button North Korea was on my mind.

the-internetIndulge me just this once a post where I delve a little deeper into my WordPress blog, we’re discussing statistics! I know there’s ‘nothing more boring than writing a blog about blogging!’ (I read that somewhere) but do you consider my question thought provoking? Are you being viewed in that most secretive of Countries North Korea?

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Sheltering in a Cemetery out of the rain!

I don’t have a problem church cemeteries, in-fact I quite like them!

Don’t go yet! This isn’t Andrew becoming all morbid and depressing on you, 🙂 nope my blog is a positive happy blog where religion controversy and death are banned! Sex nature and photography yes! I’m here to hopefully be interesting, make you smile or subject you to my silly stories.

Whilst walking into Town early this afternoon the heavens suddenly opened and I became ensnared captured by a torrential rainstorm, now catch 22 if I about turned and went home I’d get soaked, if I carried on I’d get just as wet, so I thought sod it and soldiered on through the rain into Town.

One silver lining to my cloudy story was bumping into my neighbour from around the corner. She’s a lovely lady, a plain Jane but then I’m no Richard Gere, she’d gotten caught in the rain as well but even worse, as a woman who wears bras to small for her bust size, she looked as though she’d just come from a wet tee shirt competition, and by the look at her bosom she’d just won!

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Saint Mary’s church cemetery Witney Town

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Video featuring my mum’s garden, a bumble bee post will follow.

I’ve just been notified this is Post 100! 

My apologies Hester, the video above is from my tablet and in my opinion the quality’s much better than before (compare to my Blenheim pics) but I FORGOT to speak up, the reason why is my mum’s neighbour was in her garden!

Good morning from sunny England, Now a message to the lovely people who read my Posts 🙂 lol you’ll understand by now, ‘sure as eggs is eggs’ (a saying of ours) you’ll know for certain todays post will NEVER be the same as it’s previous, not by devious design mind, nothing deceitful, I hope you think me a gent it’s just the way I’ve always ‘blogged’.

The video above has been uploaded onto my YouTube, as always, and features a panoramic view of my mother’s rear garden, a typical English suburban housing estate where each house has a small plot of land, some grow vegetables and flowers some seed the soil into lawns for the children to play on.

© Andrew.

Re. Goals for my YouTube Channel, also blog Post

Alyssa just to back up the comment I left on your YouTube Vlog 🙂 here’s a brief quick message. Short story, I stopped ‘blogging’ (loosest sense of the word) because I guess I well ran out of ideas, then I didn’t write for a few days, which became a week, which became a month, three!………………. and before you know it I’d finished………..shame really 😦

(This Blog Andrew was well received as in likes and comments which was nice and my Posts are supremely honest, much like your Vlog, however I’m not to be over-thought about, more airport paperback than word weighty literature……no heavy topics just hopefully Posts that amuse and interest).

X-ray of a human skull, not mine read on!

…………..and a blog Post.

Here’s a thing, perhaps I will write something today, like at present I’m signed off six weeks from work because I tripped walking across Market Square, hit my head on the pavement and fractured my cheek bone in four places!!! One fracture depressed as well. But I’ll survive 🙂

Then I was driven by ambulance to Oxford’s A and E Hospital where I spent 10hours being X-rayed, cut stitched and importantly observed because I’d suffered a blow to the head :/ I say 10hours, but that’s ok I’m NOT complaining, our National Health Service is a wonderful British Institution, where if required you can visit and see skilled Doctors and Surgeon’s, who’ll assesse and treat you and the care is absolutely free. But I’m afraid the 10hours waiting time is synonymous with an overstretched underfunded health service but again that’s ok I’m happy to wait my turn 🙂

Incidentally for all you morons who voted for BREXIT, our Health Service workers namely cleaners Doctors Nurses Surgeons are employed from right across the globe……every Country under the sun…….shame on you for voting out.

That’s enough Politics 🙂

United Kingdom ambulance

On the bright side, there I was sitting on a bed with curtains pulled around and every fifteen minutes a nurse would ‘pop-in’ lol to check I was compos mentis and still in the land of the living……….jury’s out on whether I was interesting to speak to but seriously they were lovely and all under age 25? What about that then! I ain’t no perv btw.

And I forgot to tell you all three ambulance Paramedics were ladies and one of them looked like she could have been a supermodel, tall slim beautiful hair tied in a bun, but seriously all caring humane professional delightful young women………and very amusing which I guess helps relax injured patients.

Photo’s of Oxford’s wonderful ‘John Radcliffe Hospital’

Joking apart the experience wasn’t fun, fracturing cheek bones ISN’T funny it’s f*cking painful and incidentally the first bones I’ve broken in my whole life, not to be advised either because whatever the writing on the packet says pain killing tablets don’t work!

Forgot to say I need dental work as well! All due to the fact I hit my head so hard a filling shot out! :/ Sounds expensive.

Moving forward two days I attended the John Radcliffe Hospital again as an Outpatient at their ‘Oral Reconstruction Fracture Clinic’ where, huge sigh of relief, I was told by a lovely male Swiss Doctor I wouldn’t require Surgery………. God that was great News because a friend of my mums’ went into the same Hospital for Spinal Surgery and came out infected by an MRSA Hospital Superbug.

You see Great Britain’s operating theatres are gripped by these f*****g drug resistant superbugs and the world’s running out of antibiotics, it’s scary to think there’s only two drugs left which work…………hope to God more are developed……Companies are working on it!

Btw I’m not being flippant, the fact we’re running out of antibiotics that work could pose…..well you get the idea. China feeding them to livestock doesn’t help!

One photo the Swiss Doctor did show me on his computer monitor was the X-ray of my skull, the one taken at my visit to A and E, at one point in the consultation he looked at me with a smile and said,

“Pretty cool don’t you think?”

“YES :)” I replied gleefully, just Google they’re well impressive 😮

And yes IT was!!! Only wish I could have a j-peg copy as souvenir but I didn’t ask, these busy specialists have more important things to worry about than blogs lol………..still my skull’s four white fracture lines were quite impressive……………..LOL shows how ill I am!!!

My blue and white stripy deckchair

So that’s enough writing for today, sun’s out and I’m going back out into my garden with glass of chilled apple juice to hand and sit in my ‘blue and white’ stripy deck chair enjoying the sun’s warmth on my face, I love that……..seriously though I think I’ve been a lucky boy, my head injury could have been a lot LOT worse 😦

Andrew 🙂

Omg it’s only started raining!!!! (and btw that’s not poetic license, it has!)

YouTube ‘tip’ and my week

woman-with-hot-water-bottleIt’s late evening in the UK and I’m sooon off to bed so this’ll be a quick post, my hot water bottle’s been there half an hour already :/ hmm can’t help thinking a woman would be nicer. God I must be getting old talking of hot water bottles!

Read the Title you’ll see I’ve written ‘my week’, all very ambiguous I know, what I really mean to say is I’d love to write and upload more during the week but I work Longgggg hours (ahhh) also endure tedious bus rides in slow moving Oxford City traffic and by the time I get home, make tea, wash up, read some blog posts, perhaps masturbate! By the time all that’s done I’m worn out!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m blessed and grateful to be in regular paid work.

Then it’s up to bed and ridiculously I repeat the same routine next day and the next! Madness lol, if a Martian landed on earth and witnessed the ridiculous things humans get up to he’d jump back in his spaceship and clear off home, (I know a lame lame anecdote but it’s late.)

Long and short, I’d like to post more, but there doesn’t seem to be the time.

Now to YouTube.

I also referred to YouTube in the post Title. Those of you who’ve read the odd post of mine will know time to time I include a YouTube video, btw I know of another blogger who does the same. Now I’m not someone to give advice but YouTube is a very useful media tool and ISN’T only for wasting one’s life watching people do stupid things!

Here’s a fact for you, my videos get zero views, yes you read correctly lol absolutely no one watches my videos and that’s the way I like it, however my Channel has more productive positives uses, I use it to show videos on my blog, whether the How To Bake A Cake Series, Gropecunt Lane, Photos from around my Town, Local Countryside, YouTube seems to accompany WordPress beautifully.

Useful tip?

So lol my advice (and this is the first and only occasion I’ll offer advice, after all I’m in no position). Perhaps begin a YouTube Channel of your own and for your viewing only. Sign up, get a Channel then walk away and completely forget about it. Yep you read right don’t even go back there until the day you’ve filmed a short video on your camera, then upload onto your Channel and post the video link onto your blog (If you want to, goes without saying!!!) Easy as! Then forget about the Channel again and be happy no one watches except via your blog or videos for the family.

Useful tip? Not for everyone after all most of bloggers are writers, but making videos via your camera can be fun.

You now have your own YouTube to be used how it was originally intended and designed to be used. Note. Remember you cannot upload video straight onto WP unless you pay. And I’m not going to pay for a domain!

Anyways here’s another one of my videos, a while ago I filmed (mpeg off digital camera) a whole Series instructing the viewer how to make a toy garage for model cars out of wood. Incidentally the garage in the video I gave to my young nephews for Christmas, aren’t I a great Uncle 😀

© Andrew 🙂