“Happiness is a life choice. We choose to be happy or not.”
Me as a young man playing snooker on an evening out with friends!
Blogging is but a reflection of real life!Write a sexy story then publish on the internet, accompany with a semi nude selfie holding one’s ‘bits & bobs’, and the viewings go through the roof! (The roof for me is probably less than you imagine 🙂 ). Yet write a thoughtful post discussing the moral rights and wrongs of men fighting each other wearing boxing gloves and lol the post sinks without trace! However no real surprises or revelations there, after all the human being is a sexual animal and he loves to read tales of love and fantasy, but as regards boxing, perhaps I won’t return to my day out in London, so here’s a family picture post in its place. 🙂
Btw I’m not in a sad mood, reflective that’s all.
More bad News for you, there’ll be no more nude photos WordPress removed my selfie, you know the photo of me laying on a bed semi nude fondling my balls. However I have NO complaints, WP are extremely accommodating allowing Adult themed material but a Blogger has to take care, too explicit and he’ll find himself in hot water.
Being serious for a second I’ve been dipping into my family photo album once again, and happened upon this image from 20+ years ago, takes me back I can tell you! The back story is a work colleague and dear friend took the picture just as I was about to strike the Snooker ball, and because we’re talking pre digital camera the photo had to then be scanned hence the grainy image!
Hmm, so where have all those in between years gone? Looking at that young man again I’d guess he had hopes dreams and ambitions, that by age 45+ he’d be in good health, have a well paid job, drive a nice car, own his own house, married to a wife with children, and what of present day? Well I’m employed though with a boss no one really likes even though I try my best, I have epilepsy consequently I don’t drive, I own my home, I’m single which upsets me everyday of my life, I don’t have children, and incidentally whilst I’ve been writing this post I’ve just had a thought, perhaps having side stepped fatherhood needs addressing in a future post?
However on the positive side I’ve led a good clean and blameless life, I’m in reasonable health (could be better but then we all think that), my mum is well, my brother’s happily married with two fantastic boys who are adorable, intelligent, amusing, kind, happy and morally upstanding young men, though growing up all tooo quickly! So as a family we haven’t anything to complain about, by that I mean to say my cousins uncles aunts mother younger sibling and myself seem to led happy contented lives, and no one’s disgraced the family name (yet). But sadly I also shouldn’t forget I’ve lost four wonderful Grandparents along my journey…………a good time to pause Andrew.
Looking back, I’d love to have achieved more with my life but then don’t we all say that? I’d love to be living with a woman instead of casual sex, which incidentally I’m totally bored with, but here’s a sobering thought I’ve recently been told 😀 to my face, note in jest!
“Andrew be careful what you wish for because………….” And yes I did understand her affirmation. But my answer will always be ‘no man is an island, we all need to love and be loved’ even though relationships are a rocky road to navigate. Yes sex on tap would be fabulous, marriage lol, the trouble is sexual intercourse is neither fun nor fulfilling without love connection and intimacy, I’ve been there, and truthfully I would have much preferred a cup of tea with the various ladies!
So as to finish on an upbeat tone, I’ll be truthful and say I’m happyish, I have a lot to be thankful for, I’m certainly not one to wallow in discontentment or feel sorry for myself, and firmly believe the secret to enjoying the next 20 years is totally in my control. The choice to be happy or not is mine to make! The ball’s in my court so to speak.
So Andrew where will you be in 20 years time? Hmm there’s a question.
A work colleague and very good friend once said to me “Andrew the trouble with you is you think tooo much”, and do you know what, the more I learn and the longer I live I’m convinced overthinking is part of a human being’s DNA, you cannot change the way you are genetically programmed can you. A thought crossed my mind the other day, I do hope readers don’t think my posts are taken from my old blog or worse still penned years ago! Nope, every clumsily written Post is idly dreamt up at work and drafted a day or so before publishing. I’ve been thinking of stopping for a while, don’t get me wrong I adore WordPress and I WILL MOST definitely continue reading the bloggers I follow because I enjoy them tooo much, the only downside is their talented use of language and composition shows up my inadequacies as a writer or perhaps it’s a lack of ideas? You see my life is empty and uncomplicated when I should strive and strive again to fill it with joy, I can’t help thinking my inability to meet a female, become friends, marry or partner up will haunt me till my dying day………… but that’s ok, that’s life I guess, I have a LOT to be thankful for but I get this awful dreaded premonition over thinking may have screwed my whole life up! Come the fateful day when I reach those pearly gates and St. Peter says “So Andrew what have you done with your life my friend?” I’ll answer “Not a lot Peter, you see I squandered it, I wasted that most precious of gifts time itself” and yes St. Peter will be angry, I’m sure it’ll be anger and not pity such a disgusting trait feeling sorry for oneself. Yep I fucked up big time and I never did get to have sexual intercourse in a car, that’s a big regret, love making in a car may not seem that important to you but it’s a major rights of passage between apprentice engineers electricians and practical young men, God the stories and b*llsh*t I’ve had to listen to lunch break after lunch break, lurid tales lavished by thirty of the greatest seventeen year old lads you could ever hope to meet, amazing disclosures explaining the complexities of getting a girls knickers off in the back seat of his first car, let alone the mountain that is giving the young lady a right good seeing to, surely position cowgirl in a mini metro is a physical impossibility? Or maybe a BJ is nearer the truth 😀 some of life’s more memorable stories are born of comradery. I’ve slept with quite a few women in my life, fourteen to be exact (is that above average?), but casual internet relationships and the like don’t count do they, (perhaps I’ve been fartooo honest here this past two years, distasteful even, disgusted readers). Where was I, yes true love is finding a good woman, however there’s another popular definition of love favoured by many bloggers, namely ‘soul mates’, turns out finding your soul mate is love’s Holy Grail, no? Perhaps you’ve been reading the wrong blogs then, but seriously finding one’s soul mate happens 🙂 ………… where was I? Yes that flipping St. Peter……….perhaps come my fateful judgement day, it’ll finally dawn on me I should have spent my life believing in a God instead of being so dismissive of religion and spirituality, would a belief in a higher being, a supreme creator have cured me of my apathy, regrets and thoughts of missed opportunities, squandering gifts God given, not taking risks may have cost me dear? In my defence the odd lucky break would have been appreciated, I’ve never fully come to terms or coped well living with my drug resistant epilepsy this past twenty five years, not withstanding ‘the however many years that still remain’, that’s the real killer……………………….. trouble is I don’t believe in a God, hmm this is a very self indulgent post but hey my blog and all that. For what it’s worth I’m convinced the real point to life is wait for it! The meaning of life ‘is to love and be loved’, simple as, without love living is meaningless and yes pointless, you may just as well be dead because your soul will be. My brother has a wife with children, I try not to envy him but increasingly I kinda do 🙂 they’re such fabulous witty fun loving boys, the family all love each other and I’d bet M. and J. (parents) don’t wake up on a morning and throw the towel in, they can’t can they! There’s mouths to feed, clothes to pay for and they’re both blessed with love and fun that comes with having children.
Best stop there 🙂
So 😀 after making clear my posts are original and new, today’s short tale is taken from Sunday last and I’d agree it’s not the most riveting of reads lol, however it’s honest to the core….and brief 🙂
The dinner plate of delicious looking food below is often referred to as Britain’s traditional English Sunday roast dinner, and that particular one in the photograph was captured at my mother’s last Sunday lunch time, but please note the choice of meat can vary, perhaps pork chicken or my absolute favourite lamb with mint sauce! Wow what a combination!!!
So there you are, my dinner consisted of roast beef, roast potatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, runner beans (growing in her garden fifteen minutes earlier) and two Yorkshire puddings and not for getting gravy made from the meat juices…………yum yum.
…………… the photo below taken by me show’s mum stirring the gravy…………
…………and the photo below shows me washing up after we’ve eaten!
So a question for you, 🙂 who gets the better deal, me having a Sunday roast made for me by mum? Or mum taking her dog for a long walk down by the river, through the meadows or circling the reservoir nature reserve? Personally I think I get the better deal, mum probably thinks she does because she’s a little arthritis and Holly has boundless energy, mind you two hours exercising in the rain is heavenly fun (hmm inadvertently back to Peter)………….AND don’t forget I do the washing up! 😀
I can cook for myself, everyone should be able to feed themselves in a civilised society, however I find preparing a meal hassle after a days work, anyways I’ll finish this post on an up note, popping over to mum’s for Sunday roast is richly anticipated and sincerely appreciated once eaten!
(When the following day I re read a post I’ve written, I wrote this last night, I think ‘geez Andrew could you try any harder to make people not like you?’ I’m tooo honest for my own good, I visited the young women for love, they said and I know I looked for love in the wrong place, a past life, 🙂 I’m tooo honest but I’ll carry on maybe in drafts only for myself, always feeling second best needs addressing or I’ll never move on.)
These next posts could be considered by some an exercise in self indulgence, but that’s fine I won’t argue 🙂 I enjoyed writing. Btw part 3 of Lake District photos will have to wait, they’re old ones and isn’t the point to a blog new material?
The reasons why two brothers can be so different fascinates me and truthfully always has done. Those of you with children or lucky enough to have brothers and sisters will have questioned many times in pure wonderment, how and why babies borne of the same mother’s womb, genetically closer than all other billions of human souls walking this planet put together, are so similar yet SO different? How can it be two brothers (or four sisters) are so unalike, contrasting individuals dissimilar in EVERY possible respect to the point one could be a good kind human being, his brother an evil degenerate yet both are borne of the same woman! Absolutely incredible! I was going to labour the point with four sisters, but you get the idea.
Don’t worry this isn’t a critical essay, just personal observations, themes I’ve wanted to put down in print for quite a while.
I’ve had a thought after writing, perhaps interpret the escorting anecdotes as a juxtaposition, defining how different we both are! One brother moral the other amoral, black and white have you will,chalk and cheese!
I’m hoping my brother never discovers my blog and certainly hope he NEVER happened across my first let alone read it! Omfg that’d create a stir in the family that’s for sure, though knowing my lovely sister-in-law she’d almost certainly laugh 😀 ……. I don’t think it’s fair to leave you in suspense, not say a little more about my first, enough to say I shared tales of my afternoons spent with 12 lovely ‘high end’ in call escorts, a fact I’m neither proud or ashamed of, I looked for love in the wrong place and in truth we did very little together, to me they were sweet kind fun young ladies and well that naughty past life is behind me now……… sometimes I wish I hadn’t deleted that old blog but then again maybe erasing a printed past life was and is quite cathartic.
So to my brother M. Interesting to me I’m not in the slightest bit envious or jealous of my brother I’m only glad he didn’t turn out similar to me, NOT that there’s anything wrong with me mind, I’m a nice kind man who’s never been in trouble, but then again maybe if a frequented brothel had been raided by the Police that could have taken some explaining away to family and employer!!!! Me knelt at the end of the bed, my head between a beautiful young ladies parted thighs licking her freshly washed pussy, sucking folds of labia whilst out stretched arms permitted me squeezing her tits playing with her nipples, only for the serious crime squad to bust through her door looking for hookers and their clients. They never did. And I know escorts faked orgasms, one older lady who used to say ” Oh yes……….Oh yes………Oh yes……….Oh yes…..’ in a monotone matter of fact fashion, forearm resting on her face covering her eyes sort of didn’t fake, I asked her after I’d finished:
“Did you enjoy”, to which she replied “yes” with a smile, “you are gentle and I haven’t the time for faking, either I enjoy or I don’t and you were very pleasant”………..I’ll settle for that 🙂
Oh yes I digress, my brother, like I said I’m neither jealous envious or consumed with anger that he has a life I don’t, his life’s always appeared easier luckier for him than for me but that’s fine, his seems MORE fun but like I said I’m neither a jealous or envious man. Christ those are destructive evil qualities in a person, throughout British history envious Kings and Princes have fought one another, the younger usually jealous the elder’s to marry THE gorgeous Princess, a sibling who has power wealth and influence. In Biblical times brothers have murdered because one is envious of the other, I’m not religious so I can’t tell you their names or stories, but I remember from Sunday School more than one instance a jealous man has murdered his brother because he didn’t have what the other possessed, Cain and Able? Or am I right off.
(Escorting intermission, a memory, laying face down on warm quilt on a comfy bed in some Chelsea village apartment block, her sat on my buttocks legs astride my hips, me feeling her wet pussy against my butt cheeks as she massaged ‘BOOTS’ own brand coconut butter into my tense shoulder muscles…… heaven….God I need to get laid again, but I’m never going to pay ever again no more of that stupidity! Lovely human beings.)
Back to my brother, so we have ascertained I love him and I’m not in the slightest bit jealous or envious, you see he is the complete opposite to me in every way possible so much so I’ve wondered whether my mother may have gotten up to something and we are in fact ‘that’ or adopted ONLY JOKING MOTHER!!!!! (I know not funny) Maybe I am adopted? How can two brothers be so different? Enough to say we are ‘chalk and cheese’ like Prince Harry and Prince William well come on they are products of different fathers, so different in looks, Lady Di was NOT virginal when she married Prince Charles and turns out neither was she chaste after marriage, she was lovely but as it turned out the tramp didn’t half sleep around, our Queen of Hearts had many lovers and I’m happy she enjoyed her time on earth God rest her soul, ok I’ll go to the Tower and lose my head for that slur BUT someone tell me I’m lying and sue me for slander!!! She knew many men and in my dreams I wish one of them had been me! Hell I’d f#ck my neighbour given the chance lol. Nah C. is a lovely husband.
(I nearly cut that last paragraph, but doesn’t the fact two Royal brothers are SO different fascinate us all? Fine young men but we all are a little curious.)
(Escorting intermission, do you know what I had an epileptic fit whilst visiting one escort, I paid her took a shower and whilst in her tiny flat’s bathroom showering door securely locked (why?) she was waiting naked the other side with MASSIVE firm round big tits, anyways as I was showering, water streaming down my body I suddenly slumped to the bottom of the bath for approximately 1 minute shaking profusely, and as always happens, recovered and composed myself just as quickly before regaining my balance and unsteadily standing again. Recovered I sort of stumbled out the bathroom and she never knew or suspected, an epileptic fit is different for every sufferer but for me a seizure comes on near instantly and the debilitating effects leave just as quickly consequently I doubt she ever suspected. Would have freaked her out I know! Then move on 2 minutes and I was f#cking her missionary position on her double bed in a dimly lit Soho boudoir, incidentally BBC Radio 2 was playing in the back round for some reason, as I came all I could remember was some guy reading the London traffic news, sexy hey?)
So I hope you’ve ascertained my brother is totally different and I’m cool with the fact. For those still with me finally I’ve reached the point where I’d like to tell you something about him, M. is tall good looking, witty, charming, had many friends and acquaintances throughout his life, a very personable man who will talk to anyone, chatting with him is like meeting an old friend, as comfortable as if you’d known him for years. He’s University educated and highly intelligent, now employed as a Hospital clinical physician, and if you’re interested he research’s genetic abnormalities present in unborn children, avert your eyes for this next part. I don’t mean to be nasty, part of his job entails carrying a cool box from ward to lab (so I gather) carrying dead newly born babies or foetus, in of course a very caring dignified manner, he cares! Then his Department carries out important research, end results which may help you, a family member or someone you know who’s trying to have a baby. Not palatable but life changing important after conceiving.
M. in both personality and moral outlook takes after my mother and her father respectfully, there exists a direct genetic humane link in every way possible, he is thoughtful good and kind, implicitly knows and understands the difference between right and wrong, we all think we do, but he understands a problem or judgement as black or white, and if you listen to his opinion there is no colour grey, if you were to say something controversial or important he’d make clear right or wrong, but he’s not in the slightest bit arrogant patronising or condescending, in fact I’ve never met anyone where just through the art of conversation an issue or whatever can be so clear cut….then again we think like that 🙂