Two tales of innocence lost

(Note sexual themes hopefully sensitively written for once! As of now I’m feeling quite inspired here on WordPress, though how long this will last for who knows ūüėÄ Andrew.)

London’s Underground

I read a post recently penned by a lovely lady writer of erotic literature, a tale where she amusedly shared a personal anecdote, safely and allowed for because she blogs anonymously, a sexual dawning a fact of life a milestone, and no I’ll not link her because she doesn’t know I’ve written my own version. I may reply to her though, I usually do when I’ve responded to a post. ūüôā

She loved her father, she loved her family, she had an idyllic happy contented childhood and wasn’t abused, I only need further say many years later she blossomed into a happy contented well balanced older woman, who loved her father! But here’s the point, like me she grew up as a child pre internet, a world of three tightly regulated TV channels consequently hers was a sexually sheltered upbringing much like myself, an age of innocence where the naked human body was cloaked in mystery, passion and yearning comes later for now she is a young girl.

Do you ever wish for pre internet days where life seemed simpler? I’d guess if you have children you do!

Jeeze I don’t half witter on. A little context to her tale I’ll try to be brief, incidentally there’s always the chance the full tale, mine is concise, is/was a product of her imagination? I guess the key to this anecdote is not tooo many years ago, sexual awakenings happened in yearly milestones, now unfortunately my age nine nephew could log onto unregulated Wi-Fi using his iPad and see all manner of sickness, perversions, sexual acts, disgusting content. When I was a child Sex Ed was at eleven, there was a missed opportunity at twelve (30 seconds more and she’d have showed me her vagina), finally experiencing the sight of my first ever folds of labia age 14………… a truly life enhancing moment, however 60 seconds later and ‘puff’ the sexy lady disappeared.

Where was I, oh yes a female erotic storyteller I follow living in the USA!

Now I don’t have a sister so can’t attest to whether her experience is that bigger a deal in a little girl’s life, but here goes. Early one morning aged nine or so she lay on her bed with bedroom door across the room eight inches ajar, her home is in America the girl’s sleepy but awake having just returned from the bathroom. Her parents bedroom door opened the noise catching her attention, a few moments later the girl’s father walked past, catching her eye line as she gazed through the gap in the door from several feet away on her bed. By chance, for she’s still unsure, he happened to stop and pause affront that open door, and it was then she encountered the shock of her life because he wore not a stitch of clothing, further still standing in profile his penis was erect, he had a hard on, morning wood have you will and then he was gone……………. like I said she’s always trusted his motives if any and I can say no more, but for that little girl her father’s pause was a milestone, her first sight of an aroused male. And as I can attest sometimes when I get out of bed of an early morning I have an erection, so hard the member’s parallel to my fake beech laminate flooring!

So there you are she trusted her father loved her father, perhaps the tale was fiction, either way I can imagine the ‘sight’ of his member was a shock, but I’m not going to link because her post ISN’T the point to my own sexual awakening……….again from an age of pre internet and owning a TV with 3 tightly regulated channels. Happy days ūüôā

As you may have guessed I have a similar tale ūüėÄ whether it’s as good as the lady’s is another story.


London’s Underground

Age 14 and many years ago, as a family my mum dad and brother visited our Capital city London, and being a close nit family my parents would take us sight seeing to places of interest around the UK, happy days. Well this day in London, I’d guess we’d be visiting all the famous attractions, Buckingham Palace, Changing of the Guard, a picnic in Hyde Park perhaps a museum or two.

Now if you’ve ever lived or visited London you’ll understand the quickest and most convenient way of travelling across the city is by that subterranean engineering marvel the London Underground, many tunnels are Victorian built, many platforms housed London citizens as the Nazis rained down thousands of tons of bombs 60 years ago, a truly atmospheric place.

I remember very little of the tourist sights we visited that particular weekend, but I do recall one very memorable chance meeting with a young lady…………. I’d guess you saw that coming! When travelling many of the older tube lines the tunnels are deep underground, then after exiting the platform you have to walk into a large tiled auditorium where your whisked to the surface by very long steeply inclined escalators, rising upwards spilling you out into busy London Streets.

Hurrying my tale along I remember the family exiting a tube train, me heading the front of this small family group, leading the way off the platform and into the vast escalator space. I’d guess I didn’t give a second thought to following passengers who knew where they were heading, so I joined the moving queue, steadied myself on a step I guess my hand grasping the black rubber handrail. That’s all hazy but I remember turning my head upward, gazing towards where the cold rushing backdraft blows from, and there a few steps in front of me stood a young woman, I have no idea as to her looks hair colour or clothes except she’s wearing the shortest of platted skirts and wait for it, no knickers! Doubly shocking because I couldn’t comprehend why women choose not to wear underwear I guess the days before mobile phone cameras, triply shocking because her vagina was smooth without pubic hair, perhaps she was a hooker who knows? What I do remember though, is for the next minute or so her legs tightly squeezed together, absent of any ray of light shining through her vagina bridge. I gazed directly at her pussy lips, the gorgeous slit tightly closed shut and for the first time in my life, labia so wondrous and shocking when I close my eyes I can see the lady’s forbidden fruit as if a photograph etched onto my mind.

And then she was gone! The lady disappearing from my life, never to be seen again as we passengers stepped off that deep tunnel escalator to soon exit into busy London Streets. Hmm :/ she’d be a Grandmother now, now there’s a thought!!

So there you are, I’m unsure if the blogger’s ‘father’ tale is true though I’m ūüôā sure it is, but my particular teenage sexual awakening is lol absolutely as written. Sadly my next actual view of a ladies lips was to be a good few years later, a cold November afternoon when I finally lost my virginity. ūüėÄ Don’t hold your breath though, I’ll never share that wonderful milestone, some of life’s joyous experiences are best kept secret. ‚̧

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London’s Underground

(Incidentally for months and months I’ve been trying decide how to or whether to share my special moment, the girl riding the escalator is seconds long and hell not worthy of a post, I’m so pleased I waited for this lady’s tale, a nice excuse.)





My new avatar!

Me 2 01026/09/2017 – Update, I’ve decided to go back to my 14 month old profile picture because I prefer looking at the painting rather than a half me photograph and I’m rather attached to it, two lover’s seated on a park bench for over one year is a long time! I like it and my ūüôā eclectic, silly posts are all that really matters. A fair reason? My apologies if you’re a little annoyed.

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My Fidget Pad toy, (2:2)

How time fly’s by, a few weeks ago I posted Andrew plays with himself featuring my new Amazon purchased Fidget Pad (with video), and now it’s nearing end of June already!

But not to worry here’s Part 2 and btw I’ve written something else which I’ll publish in a few days time (now in draft). Short story, I visited London last week and have a tale to tell.

A disclaimer, if you’ve read my blog before you may be relieved to know the day wasn’t about getting laid, I did have a casual liaison early June mind but that’s a whole different story! Ever heard the saying ‘there’s a first time for everything’, well when she took her bra off my eyes were drawn to two thin red lines beneath her breasts, she’d had implants hadn’t she, first time I’ve ever squeezed falsies!

My verdict? :/ Silicone is rather tooo firm for my liking, ok I guess but in my opinion natural is always best, as an aside why do women feel they have to go under the surgeons knife especially when sagging empty boobs are just as lovely ‚̧

Back to this damn Fidget Pad ūüėÄ

This’ll be a short post because I’m in two minds as to whether this over-hyped product is worth the expense,¬†Fidgets pass the time, but my advice is if you’re gonna buy a Pad or Cube keep in mind you could get just as much fidgeting enjoyment from playing with a clothes peg…………you know the one with the metal spring.

I’m perhaps being a little disingenuous, these toys are very tactile and I do find myself fiddling with the buttons switches and rotating toggles whilst doing other things such as watching YouTube videos. But as for all those bold medical claims, I’m totally unqualified to say if Fidget Toys are a comfort to those with ADHD or Autism, I do hope so and wouldn’t it be interesting to hear what parents or medical experts have to say rather than just corporate Amazon.

Posts to come soon, Andrew



We have to learn to live together

2 year old Ameer Hussein laying flowers near London Bridge

© London Evening Standard

I have to admit¬†I was¬†in two minds whether to write something after London’s Terror Attack,¬†so much has already been broadcast and written about but then I came across this photograph of 2 year old Ameer Hussein laying flowers¬†close to the scene. London Manchester and Britain¬†must heal divisions after¬†these horrendous attacks or there’s no hope is there? We have to remember Britain is a multicultural society, perhaps redress the balance with imagery,¬†fewer pictures of Counter Terrorism Police and more¬†photos reminding us¬†that in order to move on Faiths¬†have to¬†learn to live together or at least coexist peacefully.




YouTube ‘tip’ and my week

woman-with-hot-water-bottleIt’s late evening in the UK and I’m sooon off to bed so this’ll be a quick post, my hot water bottle’s been there half an hour already :/ hmm can’t help thinking a woman would be nicer. God I must be getting old talking of hot water bottles!

Read the Title you’ll see I’ve written ‘my week’, all very ambiguous I know, what I really mean to say is I’d love to write and upload more during the week but I work Longgggg hours (ahhh) also¬†endure tedious bus rides¬†in slow moving Oxford City traffic and by the time I get home, make tea, wash up, read some blog posts,¬†perhaps masturbate! By the time all that’s done I’m worn out!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m blessed and grateful to be in regular paid work.

Then it’s up to bed and¬†ridiculously I¬†repeat the same routine next day and the next! Madness lol, if a Martian landed on earth and witnessed the¬†ridiculous things humans¬†get up to¬†he’d jump back in his spaceship and clear off home, (I know a lame lame anecdote but it’s late.)

Long and short, I’d like to post more, but there doesn’t seem¬†to be the¬†time.

Now to YouTube.

I also referred to YouTube in the post Title. Those of you who’ve read¬†the odd¬†post of mine will know time to time I¬†include a YouTube video,¬†btw I know of another blogger who does the same. Now I’m not someone to give advice but YouTube is a very useful media tool and¬†ISN’T¬†only¬†for wasting one’s life watching people do stupid things!

Here’s a fact for you, my videos get zero views, yes you read correctly lol absolutely no one watches my videos and that’s the way I like it, however¬†my Channel has more productive positives uses, I use it to show videos¬†on my¬†blog,¬†whether the How To Bake A Cake Series, Gropecunt Lane, Photos from around my Town, Local Countryside, YouTube seems to accompany WordPress beautifully.

Useful tip?

So lol my advice (and this is the first and only occasion I’ll offer advice, after all I’m in no position). Perhaps begin a YouTube Channel of your own and for your viewing only.¬†Sign up, get¬†a Channel then walk away and completely forget about it. Yep you read right don’t even go back there until the day you’ve filmed a¬†short video on your camera, then upload onto your Channel¬†and post the video link onto your blog (If you want to, goes without saying!!!) Easy as! Then¬†forget about¬†the Channel again and¬†be happy no one watches except¬†via your blog or videos for the family.

Useful tip? Not for everyone after all most of bloggers are writers, but making videos via your camera can be fun.

You now have your own YouTube to be used how it was originally intended and designed to be used. Note.¬†Remember you cannot upload video straight onto WP unless you pay. And I’m not going to pay for a domain!

Anyways here’s another one of my videos, a while ago I¬†filmed (mpeg off digital camera)¬†a whole Series instructing the viewer how to make a toy garage for model cars out of wood. Incidentally the garage in the video I gave to my young nephews for Christmas, aren’t I a great Uncle ūüėÄ

¬© Andrew ūüôā

Swimmer Syndrome in Puppies? (Reblog)

This heart warming story brightened up my day and I had to reblog.

The Diary Of A Celibate

I know I know‚Ķ It has been ages since I even had a look at wordpress though I have a good excuse ūüôā hehe. Have any of you ever heard of swimmer syndrome in puppies? I honestly have never!! My dog recently had a litter of 9 and I thought everything was going perfectly and smoothly however, a month down the line, the runt of the litter still could not walk. You would hear him crying all night trying to move 1 foot in order to feed. I literally had a baby of my own! Waking up 5-10 times in the night to help this poor pup! I put it down to he‚Äôs the runt! He is weak, frail and just needs a little push.

A week later, I noticed that he was dragging himself across the ground. Legs spread out on either side like this:


It looks painful right?…

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Depression spring 2016, (adult themes )

This caught my eye! (Google image)

My FINAL post of 2016, one to look back on because next year will be a new beginning and a time to move on and see where 2017 takes me.

Ok ūüôā I¬†understand talk of Depression and Mental illness isn’t an attractive subject to blog about which could be sympathetically answered from me¬†thus,¬†I’ve shied away from personal posts preferring to hopefully entertain, my take on blogging is¬†do¬†‘we’ really need¬†other peoples¬†negativity in¬†our own lives? Do¬†‘you’ need¬†me draining¬†your spirit humour and energy from¬†the cheery¬†blogger¬†who just this minute sat down then¬†scrolled their Reader¬†hoping to be ‘entertained’¬†by my rather eclectic posts?

Of course you don’t but hold on perhaps I’m assuming too much, we’re told by mental health professionals that 1 in 4 of us at some point in our lives will suffer from mental illness, anyways like it or not sharing my following true story¬†is meant as a thank you to a lovely lady, I’ll call her¬†I. and yes I hope to convey a positive message, not because suicide is any subject to be taken lightly, no I consider¬†the reply email from lady blogger I. uplifting.

First my message to lady I.

‘I promised to write I. and keeping one’s word is good manners when you yourself¬†give of so selflessly, so¬†please bare in mind I’m not showing off and¬†as always what I have to say is honestly written……..God don’t I half go on!!!!

I have a worry connected to a¬†theme you’ve addressed in an earlier post, I have worries writing¬†about a past attempt to harm myself, and the ‘why’ is because it’s a known fact revealing detail does and can trigger copycat behaviour amongst mentally vulnerable people, hence I’ve given little detail. However I’m still a little concerned, you are¬†a beautiful soul both inside and out, just remember I’m ok and haven’t the nerve to go through with anything anyway, and neither do I wish to emotionally drain you with my self indulgence, which¬†you’ve intimated has happened in the past. But I have a guess you enjoy if that’s the right word, by reading your comments you seem to find¬†listening and interacting quite¬†therapeutic probably because you are¬†both skilled and knowledgeable when confronted with other peoples mental problems……let’s qualify that remark with ‘other people’s tales’……’d make a good agony Aunt plus you’ve¬†a wicked sense of humour and brilliant turn of phrase.

But don’t feel you have to reply, all’s good, this afternoon’s been¬†nice to talk and I’m feeling very relaxed right now.

So you’ll guess I once attempted to end my life, happened in Spring this year and I obviously didn’t, either through weakness or whatever I couldn’t and¬†ultimately a Police intervention stopped me carrying¬†out¬†my wicked selfish act, however consequences of that afternoon’s events¬†meant¬†enduring a¬†series of compulsory interviews¬†sat opposite an NHS psychiatrist all because I was deemed at risk. Then later I had to sit through harsh words¬†from my GP……..and what annoys me still to this day,¬†by talking confidentially with a mental health professional, giving completely of myself in detail, revealing my naked soul and darkest secrets is all very good, but then¬†‘he’¬†went and told my GP every single sordid detail! There¬†I was weeks later in my doctors consulting room, him¬†reading¬†transcripts word for word verbatim of what I’d said, embarrassing if nothing else, and not being told I’d been¬†previously recorded¬†was wrong, and has put¬†me off from ever talking to a health professional ever again!

(Next year this will change.)

There you are, my GP’s a decent guy but I must admit this experience has stopped me¬†from ever bringing this subject up again with anyone, which is both frustrating and very depressing. I can see why mental health professionals are careful, why they follow guidelines and strict procedures but if you can’t speak confidentially with a ‘shrink’ then what an earth is the point? So consequently I’ve learnt being candid with a stranger can have horrendous consequences and ramifications, then what happens¬†if I’m Sectioned like my father was still a young man suffering from depression.

Anyways back to me and living with the consequences of what turned out to be reckless honesty. Ok let’s say it happened again and¬†at worst I’m sectioned into a hospital, what then when I return to work?

I.¬†I have the feeling living on my own is at the heart of my emotional problems and depression (this hurts saying). I must admit the older and wiser I get, also the relationship problems I observe in others and that¬†well worn saying,¬†‘Women! You can’t live with them you can’t live without them (applies to men also)’ rings truer and truer, can two people live happy every after? I guess the upside to living with someone is sex which I miss, the downside is rows and arguments, I know a lady who nags at her husband¬†to the point ‘lol’¬†I feel like saying “for f#cks sake woman give the guy a break!!” Trouble is¬†I quite like¬†my balls so I’ll keep my mouth shut, but BUT hold on! I’d take¬†a relationship with all its pitfalls any day, a long story is why not………just say ahh!!

My past sex life and don’t judge too harshly,¬†<personal> were fun, yes I visited beautiful 20 something¬†<personal> who doted on me, but to be completely honest I came away feeling¬†a chat¬†with her would have been more fun, a kiss cuddle and sharing a cup of tea would have been more¬†emotionally rewarding, physically fulfilling¬†than her sucking my dick with her¬†large brown doe eyes gazing deep into mine………… and if there’s one truth I’ve learnt in my years walking this awful planet populated with nasty people, I know for certain sex is a pointless waste of time and energy unless two people love each other,¬†I would have to¬†emotionally connect with the woman¬†I’m f#cking, if not I’m content being celibate hence I haven’t been with an¬†<personal> in several years. Sex I don’t miss¬†because it has to be¬†shared with someone I love and who loves me in return.

I guess you’re maybe thinking, ‘Well Andrew ty lol for nothing, you’ve written many words with out saying a great deal’, and rereading I’m inclined to agree (this hasn’t been edited or¬†toyed with btw). However I.¬†I think this is¬†by far my most honest post and I’ve yes enjoyed sharing two facts with you. Firstly I have a deep seated mistrust opening up to mental health professionals again, perhaps I did everything¬†wrong way round¬†before, perhaps if I’d seen and talked with my GP before attempting to self harm, even though I don’t think I’m a strong enough man to go through with such a wicked crime, perhaps if I’d began by telling him of my depression he would have been more willing to help, trouble is depression induced acts aren’t thought through and rational¬†are they! And because my GP knows what happened I haven’t been back in 8 months and I’m unsure if I ever want to again. I’d guess if¬†he and I¬†talked now, always in the back of his mind would be my admission in that bloody transcript………he totally clammed up after and I have a guess to why.

Secondly I’ve perhaps already answered my own question, I have a strong feeling I’m depressed because I’m single, I hate coming home on an evening, opening the front door and hearing complete silence as I step across the threshold, it¬†would be nice to receive a kiss¬†“hello honey” and cuddle, and of course you’ll know as fact, single men are more at risk of self harm, loneliness is a contributing factor, awful,¬†such is life.

Incidentally I can honestly say the one person who seemed to really care,¬†seemed genuinely interested in¬†my life story was the Policewoman who found me and who later drove me to the Station and interviewed, she chatted with me¬†and admitted to her own¬†depression, on the day in question this lovely lady had¬†an ability to understand and share the feelings of another, an empath have you will, and I’ve never met anyone show such kindness and concern before or since.¬†But yes I¬†realise she was being completely professional, and she was very sweet……… I’m a sucker for a pretty smile ūüėÄ no joking apart she cared.

ūüôā I’m feeling ok yet¬†resigned to knowing I’ll always go through life thinking ‘what’s the point?’ You’ll understand for those who don’t¬†give a f#ck¬†getting through the day¬†can be like¬†trudging through proverbial treacle, so don’t worry I’m ok, also as of this moment smiling.

(You kindly gave me your email, but a post for you seemed best, if you’ve found it interesting that’s brilliant¬†and really enough, think a post is best, you may feel uncomfortable seeing me in your inbox ūüėÄ )

Do you consider my true and honest tale positive or wicked and self indulgent? Don’t answer.

I hope I. doesn’t mind me posting extracts from her email,¬†maybe, she hoped I’d post my bit so all’s good. ūüôā So here is¬†an edited version of her email reply and if you are feeling rather low I think you may take comfort¬†from the¬†information¬†she replied, judge me, but just know lady I. is very lovely very knowledgeable.

‘<personal>……………………I’m glad you had that positive experience with the police woman ūüė䬆 That kind of thing makes all the difference when you’re at rock bottom. With the psychiatrist, because it was an urgent care assessment, in other words to ascertain whether your risk of completing suicide was sufficient for you to be detained under the mental health act, everything is written down and recorded verbatim in quotation marks. That is how it is, as they have a duty of care to communicate between professionals. They should have made that clear at the outset though. Some GPs are shit with mental health and uncomfortable discussing it openly. Some are great. It’s a lottery. You can always book in with a new GP, but a suicide attempt/crisis assessment will always be on your mental health records so a new person will see it too. That is for your own benefit. So people know you have been vulnerable and they need to be attentive and take care of you well. It is not a weapon to judge a patient with. It is just how the system works. But I understand your fear and worry of stigma. I didn’t visit the doctor for years after I was first diagnosed with clinical depression at 16. But now I think fuck it. If I need a doctor I’ll see one, and I’m not gonna worry how I might be perceived. No mental health care is confidential. None of it. But that is because it is important all NHS people have an awareness of your history………………<personal>……………………
………….<personal>……….. And about being single, feeling depressed about that and feeling lonely is understandable. I have a depressed male friend at the moment which has been desperately unhappy for this reason. I get it. Companionship and sex and intimacy is a gift, so when it’s lacking we will feel emptiness. Personally I feel depressed emptiness and loneliness myself even though I’m married. It is more typical than we think it is. I know that an awareness that other people feel the same doesn’t help you feel better, but it’s a small comfort I hope. Your feelings are valid and reasonable in your life circumstances. I’m sorry this is how your personal life is just now, but it is temporary, not forever ūüė䬆 ………………’
I’m unsure how to finish this post, not usually a problem for me, 60 posts and I’ve never had a problem, 200 if you count my previous blog, usually I¬†write ‘just be sure my next post won’t be anything like this one’. Back to this post and being¬†unsure how to tie up loose ends, I can’t¬†because there¬†are NO easy answers to mental health issues, all I hope is you may at least find my tale and lady I. useful information and if you think you need to seek professional help.
¬© Andrew ūüôā

55 – Voyage around my brother (and other)

(When the following day I re read a post I’ve written, I wrote this last night, I think ‘geez Andrew could you try any harder to make people not like you?’ I’m tooo honest for my own good, I visited the young women for love, they said and I know I looked for love in the wrong place, a past life, ūüôā I’m tooo honest but I’ll carry on maybe in drafts only for myself, always feeling second best needs addressing or I’ll never move on.)

These next posts could be considered by some an exercise in self indulgence, but¬†that’s fine¬†I won’t argue¬†ūüôā¬†I enjoyed writing. Btw¬†part 3 of Lake District¬†photos will have to wait, they’re old ones and isn’t the point to a blog new material?

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Cropped! I wanted to share but that’s not fair without permission, but¬†the collie dog won’t mind cause she long gone anyway¬†ūüė¶

The reasons why two brothers can be so different fascinates me and truthfully¬†always has done. Those of you with children or lucky enough to have brothers and sisters will have questioned many times in pure wonderment,¬†how and why babies borne of the same mother’s womb, genetically closer than all other billions of human souls walking this planet put together, are so similar yet SO different?¬†How can it be two brothers (or¬†four sisters)¬†are so¬†unalike, contrasting¬†individuals¬†dissimilar in¬†EVERY possible respect to the point one could be a good kind human being, his brother an evil degenerate yet both¬†are borne of the same woman! Absolutely incredible! I was going to labour¬†the point with four sisters, but you get the idea.

Don’t worry this isn’t a critical essay, just personal observations, themes I’ve wanted to put down in print for quite a while.

I’ve had a thought after writing, perhaps¬†interpret the escorting anecdotes as a juxtaposition, defining how different we both are! One brother moral the other amoral, black and white have you will, chalk and cheese!

I’m hoping my brother never discovers my blog and certainly hope he NEVER¬†happened¬†across my first let alone read it! Omfg that’d create a stir in the family that’s for sure, though knowing my lovely sister-in-law she’d almost certainly laugh ūüėÄ ……. I don’t think it’s fair to leave you in suspense,¬†not say a little more about my first, enough to say I shared tales of my afternoons spent with 12 lovely ‘high end’ in call escorts, a fact¬†I’m neither proud¬†or ashamed of, I looked for love in the wrong place and¬†in truth we did very little together, to me they were sweet kind fun young ladies and well that naughty past life is behind me now……… sometimes I wish I hadn’t deleted that old¬†blog but then again maybe erasing a printed past life was and is¬†quite cathartic.

So to my brother M. Interesting to me¬†I’m not in the slightest bit envious or jealous of my brother I’m only glad he didn’t turn out similar to me, NOT that there’s anything wrong with me mind, I’m a nice kind man who’s never been in trouble, but then again maybe if a frequented brothel had been raided by the Police that could have taken some explaining away to family and employer!!!! Me knelt at the end of the bed, my head between a beautiful young ladies parted thighs licking her freshly washed pussy, sucking folds of labia whilst out stretched arms permitted me squeezing her tits playing with her nipples,¬†only for the serious crime squad to bust through her door looking for hookers and their clients. They never did. And I know¬†escorts faked orgasms, one older lady who used to say ” Oh yes……….Oh yes………Oh yes……….Oh yes…..’ in a¬†monotone matter of fact fashion, forearm resting on her face covering her eyes sort of didn’t fake, I asked her after I’d finished:

“Did¬†you enjoy”,¬†to which¬†she replied “yes” with a smile, “you are gentle and I haven’t the time for faking, either I enjoy or I don’t and you were very pleasant”………..I’ll settle for that ūüôā

Oh yes I digress, my brother, like I said I’m neither jealous envious or consumed with anger that he has¬†a life¬†I don’t,¬†his life’s always¬†appeared easier luckier¬†for him than for me but that’s fine,¬†his seems MORE fun but¬†like I said I’m neither a jealous or envious man.¬†Christ those are destructive evil qualities in a person, throughout British history envious Kings and Princes have fought one¬†another, the younger usually jealous the elder’s to marry¬†THE gorgeous Princess, a¬†sibling who¬†has¬†power wealth and influence. In Biblical times brothers have murdered because one is envious of the other, I’m not religious so I can’t tell you their names or stories, but I remember from Sunday School¬†more than one¬†instance a jealous man has murdered his brother because he didn’t have what the other possessed, Cain and Able? Or am I right off.

(Escorting intermission, a memory, laying face¬†down on warm quilt on a comfy bed in some Chelsea village apartment block, her sat on my buttocks legs astride my hips, me feeling her wet pussy against my butt cheeks¬†as she massaged¬†‘BOOTS’ own brand¬†coconut butter¬†into my tense shoulder muscles…… heaven….God I need to get laid again, but I’m never going to pay ever again no more of that stupidity! Lovely human beings.)

Back to my brother, so we have ascertained I love him and I’m not in the slightest bit jealous or envious, you see he is the complete opposite to me in every way possible so much so I’ve wondered¬†whether my mother may have gotten up to something and we are in fact ‘that’ or adopted ONLY¬†JOKING MOTHER!!!!! (I know not funny) Maybe I am adopted? How can two brothers be so different? Enough to say we are ‘chalk and cheese’ like Prince Harry and Prince William well come on they are products of different fathers, so different in looks, Lady Di was NOT virginal when she married Prince Charles and turns out neither was she chaste after marriage,¬†she¬†was lovely¬†but as¬†it turned out the tramp didn’t half sleep around, our Queen of Hearts had many lovers and I’m¬†happy she enjoyed her time on earth¬†God rest her soul, ok I’ll go to the Tower and lose my head for that slur BUT someone tell me I’m lying and sue me for slander!!! She¬†knew many men and in my dreams I wish one of them had been me! Hell I’d f#ck my neighbour given the chance lol. Nah C. is a lovely husband.

(I nearly cut that last paragraph, but doesn’t the fact two Royal brothers are SO different fascinate us all? Fine young men but we all are a little curious.)

(Escorting intermission, do you know what I had an epileptic fit whilst visiting one escort, I paid her took a shower and whilst in her tiny flat’s bathroom¬†showering door securely locked (why?) she was waiting naked the other side with MASSIVE firm round big tits, anyways as I was showering, water streaming down my body¬†I suddenly slumped to the bottom of the bath for approximately 1 minute shaking profusely, and as always happens, recovered and composed myself¬†just as quickly¬†before regaining my balance and unsteadily standing again. Recovered I¬†sort of stumbled out the bathroom and she never¬†knew or suspected, an epileptic fit is different for every sufferer but for me a seizure comes on near instantly and the debilitating effects leave just as quickly consequently I doubt she ever suspected. Would have freaked her out I know! Then move on 2 minutes and¬†I was f#cking her missionary position on her double bed in¬†a¬†dimly lit Soho boudoir,¬†incidentally¬†BBC Radio 2 was playing in the back round for some reason, as I came all I could remember was some guy reading the London traffic news, sexy hey?)

So I hope you’ve ascertained¬†my brother is totally different and I’m cool with the fact. For those still with me finally I’ve reached the point where I’d like to tell you something about him, M. is tall good looking, witty, charming, had many friends and acquaintances throughout his life, a very personable man who will talk to anyone, chatting with him is like meeting an old friend,¬†as comfortable as if¬†you’d known him for years. He’s University educated and highly intelligent, now employed as a Hospital clinical physician, and if you’re interested he research’s genetic abnormalities¬†present in¬†unborn children, avert your eyes for this next part.¬†I don’t mean to be nasty, part of his job entails carrying a cool box from ward to lab (so I gather) carrying dead newly born babies or foetus, in of course a very caring dignified manner, he cares! Then¬†his Department carries out important research, end¬†results which may help you, a¬†family member or someone you know who’s trying to have a baby. Not palatable but¬†life changing¬†important¬†after conceiving.

M. in both¬†personality and moral outlook takes after my mother and her father respectfully, there exists a direct genetic humane link in every way possible, he is thoughtful good and kind, implicitly knows and understands the difference between right and wrong, we all think we do, but he understands¬†a problem or judgement as black or white, and if you listen to his opinion there is no colour grey, if you were to say something controversial or important he’d make clear¬†right or wrong, but he’s not in the slightest bit arrogant patronising or condescending, in fact¬†I’ve never met anyone where just through the art of conversation an issue or whatever¬†can be¬†so clear cut….then again we¬†think like that¬†ūüôā

Am I boring you?

To be continued……………

Andrew ūüôā


45 – A quick post after having walked into Town

I hope you’re having a good weekend Andrew.

Here’s a muse? People write lol in their written sentences but are they actually laughing out loud? Funny old phrase, my age 10 nephew even applies lol¬†as an adjective¬†to¬†his spoken sentences…….now that is funny ūüėÄ

Earlier today¬†I’d google imaged and saved confusion photographs, I’m unsure as to why? Confused! But I’ll publish at any rate they make a change to the inspirational……..they amused¬†me this fine morning.


Andrew ‚̧

42 – A curiosity for D @ WSU

Good evening Miss¬†D ūüôā , call this short post a curiosity and nothing more,¬†humour me you know the saying¬†‘little things please little minds ūüėÄ Do you remember our conversation¬†relating to¬†tidiness? Possibly not, here’s your neatness reply which made me smile and yes I consider¬†‘in apple-pie order’¬†an art form, (nice phrase in apple-pie order that’s a new one on me! Oh yes your reply,

Miss D. ‘Andrew, are you saying you‚Äôre THAT O.C.D. about neatness?! lol’


Well afterwards the state of my work bench at the ‘blank’ crossed my mind, and btw I haven’t ‘staged’ the above picture, my work area really is that untidy! I’m told off lol for it ūüėÄ


Now compare to my colleague’s bench¬†on the left,¬†immaculate ordered neat! What’s to do¬†Miss D? I fear I’m a lost cause.

Anyways, our conversation amused me.

Have a good evening Andrew.

35.5 – 100 Paces – a photographic Journey

6 am every morning I follow this route to work and being absolutely honest¬†with you the journey¬†now scares the living daylights out of me, seriously I’m not joking. I walk along darkened paths and across¬†the Common well before dawn under a pitch black skyline and on my own!! Unbelievably spooky it is, no one about and¬†I can imagine someone jumping out and robbing me. When you arrive at the Common just know a young woman was raped close to the bridges early one July 2016 morning. You can see why I’m a bag of nerves.

So I have walked from my Home following a well trodden route into Town for you, now hold on before you leave, I understand all my photographic posts feature my housing estate but never mind. I ‘snapped’ a photo every 100 paces following the 12 minute¬†journey toward¬†the final picture, the bus stop!¬†Then I board a double decker bus towards Oxford.¬†I hear you¬†ask “so¬†tell me why did you¬†post this Andrew?”

Why not ūüôā , just picture this journey dead of night beneath only a handful of lamps, a weak post? The next will be better.

Follow the photos to follow¬†my journey. Ok these look as if I don’t travel any farther than my neighbourhood but hey¬†putting this together¬†seemed like an interesting idea :/ perhaps I have tooo much time on my hands? I’ve work next week, I get tired so this’ll be the last. You should see what else languishes in my drafts!

As good a beginning as ever, maybe that’s my Home, maybe it isn’t
A cul-de-sac making for path on the left
Exiting the cul-de-sac
Turn right at the ‘T’ junction
Make for the right, shopping arcade left
Looking back to the arcade
Turn left at the end


Having turned into the lane walk straight on (Re. autumn picture)


Exiting the lane


Turn left by the white car


Make straight for the riding stables, turn right


Riding stables left, Common right


Common right


Straight on!
Across bridge 1
Across bridge 2, Substation in the distance
Cotswold stone to the left Substation right, round a bout in distance
Cross the round-a-bout heading for Town
Follow the path shopping centre coming into view
Side glance to the shopping centre
Turn right at the silver car
Turn left at the yellow sign


Make for the green timetable on the pole
Final image with the Hotel name cropped off, don’t want you Googling me now!

So there you are a 12 minute journey 25 photographs 100 paces apart.











25. Answering a question for Wendy

Good evening Wendy, remember I’m no expert but I¬†hope this helps! For example if you look at the comments underneath someone’s Post you’ll find the word ‘reply’ next to each comment, if you press that ‘reply’ you can err lol reply to that particular comment, however as you say yours doesn’t seem to have this.

  1. Move your curser to the top left hand corner and press where it says My Site
  2. A window appears coming from the left hand side.
  3. Now move your curser down to the bottom of the window.
  4. Using cursor press on Settings
  5. A new page appears!
  6. Now move cursor over where it says Discussion and press.
  7. Look for the line which says, Enable threaded (nested) comments up to 10 levels deep.
  8. Firstly you have to make sure there’s an X in the box, secondly set the number you wish and mine is by chance 10
  9. Now press Save Settings

I hope this helps, Andrew.

21. A blog in order to be a true blog must stick to one theme, true?

Anyone who’s¬†happened across¬†my¬†2 previous¬†blog domains¬†spaced over the¬†last¬†2 years will¬†understand my Posts have NO one common theme which binds the blog content together, in fact even I understand my domain should¬†stick to¬†one¬†topic and then I’d have 2000 like minded followers! Thankfully¬†that’ll never happen but I do envy people who can truly write, that’s not false modesty, I genuinely love reading Lady¬†writers you¬†are absolutely¬†fabulous ūüôā

So slightly labouring the point,¬†in my opinion a good¬†blog, a great blog, a successful blog MUST have a common¬†theme so as¬†to appeal to like minded people, but unfortunately I¬†cannot so consequently mine¬†veer from¬†relationships¬†…… ¬†sex with ‘women’ …… cookery…….. to ‘artistic’ body photos …..and……though note no more politics!

Or in other words read a post about my wonderful mother but be sure the following post will be completely different and or a disappointment :/

There you are I¬†kinda apologise but as you all know the only point to blogging,¬†though that’s stretching credibility when applied to me lol,¬†where was I? Oh yes there is only one point to WordPress and that is¬†to enjoy oneself and¬†if at least one¬†person has enjoyed¬†reading mine¬†then I’m a happy Andrew, believe me¬†I truly am……… I’d love to be able to write great poetry but unfortunately prose which touches peoples hearts¬†will never come my way, so to the 32¬†people follow me, thank you ūüôā

After that rather long introduction, ūüėÄ you’ll have guessed¬†my next¬†Post ain’t gonna be inspired by a family photo! You’d be correct,¬†so be prepared¬†to be disappointed if you¬†enjoyed¬†my¬†St Mary’s Church the Virgin Post!


12. Crystal Castles – ‘Not In Love’

For many many months I blogged under a different name (I cannot say ūüėÄ long story!¬†)¬†where I¬†would often share my favourite songs from the 1980’s, synthesiser Bands to be more precise and¬†all from my distant youth in yes the 80’s! Well this tune ‘Not In Love’ by Crystal Castles was released quite a few years later, in fact I did¬†share this YouTube video on¬†my previous Domain but ‘hey ho’ why not again ūüôā


However there is ‘a not so tenuous link’¬†back to the 80’s in that Robert Smith sings the vocals and of course Robert was lead¬†vocalist in the UK Band¬†named ‘The Cure’ which does hark back to my lol era. He’s now age 57, been through the drugs and alcohol big time,¬†and with out Googling I think ‘The Cure’ still Tour.

Very unique voice Robert has don’t you think and¬†thankfully not¬†the¬†‘averagely run of the mill’ male¬†X Factor vocal, God I hate ūüėÄ reality music programs, anyway enough of grumpy old Andrew.

ūüôā I hope you enjoy, and presented to you by the wonders of YouTube (not my Channel btw), ‘Not In Love’ by Crystal Castles ūüôā


1. Introduction and 10 random facts about me

I’ve blogged before, 18 enjoyable rewarding months to be precise and mildly popular in my own little way, put it this way I had just enough followers to be happy and several close friends content ūüôā , so why did I kill my blog you may ask? ¬†Good question and best answered with a word of caution! Pressing that delete button is final, a decision you may later regret.

With my old blog I prided my self every word being honest and true, hmm turns out recklessly honest, so be careful what you write, the lady might just read it!

So out with the old and in with the new, let’s begin with a few random facts about me, that’s if you’re interested of course, either way I know a few ladies who’ll massage my ego ūüėÄ ………… hopefully!

  1. I’m an Engineer by Trade, a middle age single male and hopeless romantic.
  2. A wise quote for you, “if you become close friends with someone on the internet, be realistic because when you finally meet in person you’ll only ever be good friends”, controversial? Take it from me the wise lady is absolutely correct. (We had a lovely picnic sitting in the sun by the river but alas remain only friends).
  3. Lol this one will really be a damper, I have epilepsy, but popping tablets ain’t so bad.
  4. The picture on the left is me, taken a while ago mind.
  5. I have a long dick! But alas no great girth. Short story, a lady I had a one night stand with said, “can we not do missionary position because you’re too long and hurt”, a different lady on another one night stand said, “can we do missionary position because I like it deep!” You pays your money and makes your choice!
  6. I’m best described Mr average, neither short nor tall, fat nor thin, slim 5’9″ to be exact.
  7. Diagnosed with AvPD, we all have a disorder don’t we! My best advice for you, stay close to your friends because they help make life worth living.
  8. WP honest or what an earth’s the point being here, beware of my exhibitionist tendencies!
  9. I have a hairy chest.
  10. I hope people describe me dependable and caring but not relaxed enough to be called charming. I’ll settle for a nice man with a good heart, oh and did I tell you I’m always honest? No?
  11. Would love to own a Border Collie, alas I’m unable! Life’s just not fair.
  12. I have a strong dislike of Pornography and hate sex in Film and TV. An unusual statement of fact? I’m not quite sure why I needed to state that fact but I’m quite proud of myself, I’ve always disliked.
  13. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THE FAIR SEX! Trouble is I’m single at the moment :/
  14. I know I said 10, never mind!

So what’s my Hook? Do I have a theme? Not as such, call me eclectic if that’s not to presumptive, I’ll Post whatever takes my fancy but beware, I am unshockable and have no shame!