EROTICA – my original story

For context clarity and an understanding of what is true and what is fiction here please read my introduction post, if you don’t then I fear you won’t understand why and how I came to be in his bedroom. You just won’t!

Disclaimer, we slept all night naked together but we didn’t have sex.

‘I was tired from travelling and hadn’t anywhere to sleep, the choice was stark a park bench for the night or go home with him, so I chose him, I was just relieved to be safe. Never doubt though he’d taken a chance, planned and plotted, endangered his liberty and freedoms as he probably did every evening, on the outside he appeared friendly, on the inside existed a darker more predatory man, calculating and immoral, but remember as you follow this story I did like him!

Nervously I crept out of his ensuite bathroom wearing only a towel round my waist, clasping clothes bundled in my arms, my comfort blanket, I’d just had a lovely warm skin tingling shower only to be faced by the French guy standing naked a few paces from me, and to say I’m startled no shocked is possibly the biggest understatement ever, but I sensed no hostility or aggression and his sweet smile betrayed nothing more than he was as nervous as I, seconds passed and he smiled, yes he had a friendly face and feeling less anxious I smiled in return, I’m a good judge of character and he’d been a lovely guy this whole evening, in fact he’d been a perfect gentleman ever since picking me up at the Station, but beneath my very invigorating shower I’d slowly come to my senses, I finally understood he’d been more than very friendly striking up that conversation in the waiting room, he’d been cruising, I’d been picked up, the penny had dropped whilst hot water cascaded down my slim pink body, and I knew as I’d suspected, at long last I was sure he was gay, I stopped and stood like a statue in the doorway, sh#t what happens now!

In retrospect, looking back to that evening, I appear to judge him more harshly now, his choice of lifestyle is perhaps more dishonest than I’d first though, he’d groomed me planned and plotted and still to this day that bothers me. All these years later I really don’t care he’d visited a train station, ten minutes before the entrance doors were closed for the evening, a prison for the night, doors to be opened early next morning, each night he went looking men and tonight I was he. But my new found distaste forgets one truth, if he hadn’t given me a bed for the night I would have been sleeping in a Le Mans Street, beaten or robbed, a conundrum if ever there was one! But that’s now immaterial, I went home with him and does it matter he picked men up to f#ck? If he lives a life without harming anyone, doesn’t lie or cheat then ‘cruising’ is fine however unconventional his life is by societies twisted standards, so yes he picked up men taking them home for consensual sex, well I had a bloody good feeling that’s what he expects, but so what he just lives his life that way, by a different set of rules it’s nobody else’s business but his own ………. AFTERALL WE’RE A LONG TIME DEAD!

However if he visited that railway station every evening to pickup young women solely for sex, tired single lonely fearful virginal women, knowing the station would be soon closed is that different?……..yes but it shouldn’t BE.

Paul Avril 19th-century erotic interpretation ofHadrian and Antinous

Back to my tale, I’ve walked out of his ensuite shower naked to be confronted by my Good Samaritan standing at the foot of his bed undressed and now slightly aroused, the tip of his dick, pulsating with fresh new blood, quivering, engorged, they have a mind of their own and his member wanted in my mouth or ass. My whole being was in a state of shock, disbelief and confusion, there we both stood a few feet apart, two naked males, statuesque-like bodies a soft shade of rose pink but for a mop of jet black hair sprouting from each others groin, compared to the gloriously proportioned female nude, mythological Greek goddesses, slim figures pert breasts the sensual inward curve toward her vulva, lips of labia disappearing between slightly parted thighs, dripping with salty nectar, in comparison to a lady don’t male’s ‘bits and pieces’ seem well out of place? Oh if he’d only been a woman I would have knelt at her feet, licked sucked and nuzzled her warm wet slit……………….. then an electrified synapse in my brain shook my paralysed mind into reality, here stood a naked man before me! Oh f#ck!!!

(I’m slightly wishing I’d chosen my soon to be lover a woman, no going back Andrew!)

The guy in my tale is cuddly bear of a man, he resembled a 12 year old with all traces of pubic hair removed from his body, quite sweet not effeminate, I dislike limp wristed men, he’s gay and that’s ok by me. He looked at me a welcoming smile crossed his face, now having regained my sanity I could see he carried a slight paunch but he was still rather well toned, in fact quite a good looking handsome guy, with Gallic face slightly died hair …..hmmm about 50! For what seemed an age my heartbeat raced as we looked at each other, then he’d drop his gaze, eyes following the contours of my body to my waist, stop, then a little further to my pelvis, I knew exactly what he’s fixated with a look of longing towards my groin, a pursing of the lips, I didn’t feel uncomfortable though, all anxiety was gone and I could feel my inhibitions dissipating. Ive never thought myself gay in fact I knew I wasn’t gay, I adored women, but tonight I felt alive, a mixture of danger and excitement, and yes electricity now coursing through my veins, wow I could feel my genitals tingling, must be all those thousands of stimulated nerve endings……. unnoticed he’d moved slowly toward me pausing looking into my eyes, this guy for I still don’t know his name was only inches away, by now he must have sensed I found him attractive? Perhaps all evening he’d dreamed of having his wicked way with me, using my body as he desired, or more worryingly perhaps he was a predatory man who ever since the first minute he set eyes on me, groomed me, the only thought on his mind sex………. but I don’t care, none of that matters now!

My heart pounding I could feel the warmth of his body against mine his arms now wrapped around my waist, soft genitals pressing against my own, the thought of kissing a man had always repulsed me but now I felt his breath on my lips, a waft of cologne inside my nostrils so different to the scent of female perfume. The whole evening he’d taken a lead, made the first move, I was out of my depth and this Frenchman knew it, I sensed he understood with crystal clarity I was his tonight, our lips touched, gently at first, then as passions stirred he became more forceful and eager finally eating at my face, Jesus he’s an animal! But tonight I was open to new experiences, I will go wherever he takes me, exchanging saliva with another man excited me turned me on. So we kissed for a while longer cheek to cheek each others stubble stimulating the skin, our heads moving rhythmically side to side, his eyes tight shut mine wide open, I’ve always enjoyed fucking women with my eyes open, so close to hers they’re unable to focus.

He pulled away, broke the silence finally asking my name, “You never said what your name is?”

“You never asked……….it’s Paul” I replied.

Then he whispered in my ear “Paul do you want to suck my dick?” I recoiled away from him in disgust, only his arms around my waist held me from falling back into his bathroom, I pulled away further breaking his strong clasp, tried to leave him then glanced down at his erect member, I couldn’t, this was a step tooo far, I needed time to allow my thoughts to catch up with a brain now in a time lag the adrenaline flowing through every part of my body excited me even more, I too was beginning to become aroused glancing at his face then looking at his groin then his slightly chubby face again, umm I’ve seen worse dicks inside a men’s shower room, nude men have never bothered me. I’d now successfully mastered my momentary time warp and my brain had finally caught up with reality, I glanced down again feeling mildly shocked, I to was standing erect, I moved closer again, our erect genitals touched now trapped against each others thighs, we embraced again, arms enveloping each others hips, soft red succulent lips wet with minty saliva gorging at each other, so pleased I’d brushed my teeth, secure in his arms all inhibitions melting away we kissed again and again.

Yep this evening no question I was gay, no I’ll qualify that with bi sexual, I’ve always and still do think we’re a mixture of sexual orientation, a definitive line in the sand doesn’t exist, or perhaps tonight, being carried away in the excitement of unknown pleasures had clouded my standards and judgement?

“No I cannot” I answered, “it’s not you, you’ve been lovely sweet and kind ever since you picked me up, but I’m not gay”  I said my eyes now slightly moist at the now lie,  “I’m sorry I cannot take you in my mouth, I don’t want to and please don’t make me.”

“Shush now that’s ok my sweet English friend we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to” as he pressed his body even closer to mine, his strong arms wrapped around me squeezing me so tightly a reflex motion pushed my hands forward holding either side of his waist, that felt nice, he was carrying a few pounds and I guess I was clasping his love handles. We kissed some more, our lips wet with saliva pressed tight against each other, I gulped and gulped again, then I felt his tongue force itself into my mouth the tip entwine with mine. He slid his strong hands up and down my back, stroking and massaging the skin until gripping my buttocks so hard I whimpered “ouch”. Panting heavily I did the same, sexual excitement consuming my body, a lustful virgin wanting to learn more carrying me on a wave of ecstasy, I knew whatever was about to happen tonight I wouldn’t be the same man in the morning, I was his, I was happy and smiling to myself I mused ‘what next?’ Now all inhibitions were gone, I was enjoying exploring and loving his body, God his round buttocks were so plump firm and slightly hairy, I didn’t mind, gay or not they felt just like a woman’s, so smooth and round. Now our bodies were as one, chest and thighs touching, our forearms and hands behind each other, my lips devouring his. Then he did something quite unexpected, gripping my buttocks firmly, hands dividing my cheeks, his fingers slipped into the crack of my ass. I didn’t flinch he knew I didn’t mind. He pulled his head back from mine, with his eyes averting my gaze he spat a large blob of saliva into his hands rubbing its wetness between his fingers. He motioned his arm around my waist again pulling my body tightly against his, I felt is ball sack gently whip and bounce against mine, my heart pounding so hard I knew what was coming next then a fearful thought crossed my mind, ‘was I about to have a heart attack’ take my final breath embraced in a strange arms, in a foreign far away land?

Then my whole body flinched, rising skywards, a mild convulsion making me stand on tip toes, his fingers were between the cracks of my ass again and pressed against my butt hole, seconds passed then my body began to relax after its virgin involuntary homoerotic spasm. His lips pulled away……….. calmly asking in soft French tones, “You know what I want but I have to ask! Do you mind?”……I shook my head mouth wide open, his fingers pressing the opening, sending tingles up my spine! “I don’t mind”, I smiled.

I couldn’t kiss anymore my head was in a spin so I rested my chin on his shoulder as he methodically slowly and gently inserted two fingers deep inside my anus, so far they touched pressed against my prostate, our bodies embraced harder than ever. “Jesus Christ wholly fuck!” I shouted ecstasy in my voice, an oh so pleasurable feeling emanated from the firm hard walnut shaped organ in my body, continuing to pulse along the whole shaft of my penis, I recognised the orgasmic waves of joy, I had never been so erect and hard in my life, like a rod of iron, my body had never been so electrified and alive as he stroked his finger along the surface of my prostate, I felt like I wanted to pee but didn’t.

Minutes of overwhelming pleasure happiness and blissful euphoria consumed my body, my only thought ‘don’t stop, love me, I want this rapture for all eternity’, while my French guy and I lovingly embracing each other my chin resting on his collar bone, biting his neck, his playful fingers inside my ass, yes he’d groomed me from beginning to here, he’d made moves, led the way but I didn’t mind, just think I could have lived my whole life oblivious to the carnal pleasure only a man could give.

He quietly asked again waking me from a dream, “Paul, would you like me to f#ck you?”

OMG!!! I felt a tightening in my stomach, what had I gotten myself into, my second understatement of the evening, an hour ago I was sitting on a railway platform bench and now I was being sexually propositioned, he’d asked, I was consenting but never once that evening had I felt in danger for my life. My mind and imagination were spinning like a child’s top now, fingers wriggling deep inside my ass, eyes wide open, the dimly lit décor a coloured blur around the periphery of my vision, to this day I don’t know why I said the word “yes” but I did, this involuntary reflection came loudly from my mouth, without me trying to stifle or stop. His arms and hands dropped to his waist as he pulled away, I was a little taken aback by his instant rejection, then he rather tooo quickly motioned across the bedroom carpet, opened a desk draw, hands rummaging amongst clothing, he was searching for something and I had a feeling I knew what!! Then he found what he was looking for and held a small white plastic square to the light, excitedly saying “oui” with his find, all the time me standing statuesque my feet welded to the carpet, and oh yes, f#ck me yes, I knew exactly what he was holding!

Heart in my mouth I knew what was coming next as he rushed around the bedroom a blur of activity, I palpably saw a sexual frenzy overwhelm his being, moving so fast as if worried I’d leave, turning bathroom lights off shutting bedroom doors a whirlwind of activity going on around me. But a calm had enveloped my consciousness, my breath slowed now normal again. I can remember thinking with perfect crystal clear clarity, this is my final moment of choice, sexual intercourse, screwed for the first time in my virgin ass or say no, simple as that, there was no confusion, no ambiguous catch 22 his penis inserted up my ass in ten seconds time, or say “non” right now!

The next 5 seconds went on for an age, you’ll have experienced this stalling of time, I’m told during a car crash time stops still, now I felt like I had a lifetime to make a choice, and it was my choice no backing out now. ………..my answer was a simple yes, uncomplicated as it sounds, answering yes to sex was all I needed to say, tomorrow is the time for regrets, ‘in for a penny in for a pound’ amusedly crossed my mind, a funny English phrase, and why not, life is now regrets come later. Furious activity complete he slowly walked toward me having ripped open the packet only stopping to unfurl the shiny latex along his hard pre coital shaft, complete with dark purple bell end. Now standing in front of me I noticed his skin shimmered and glistened, he was sweating and breathless but with a face carrying a rather worried expression.

“Paul?”, he questioned me, he’d neglected me, allowed me to think for myself for 5 seconds and now I could see the panic in his eyes, would I say no, but with a slight smile and resigned nod of my head I said “I’m ok”, mind you I wasn’t as keen as I once was! His eyes lit up like a child opening a present on xmas day, I’d never seen him so pleased and animated that made me smile, both at peace all tension between us disappeared like ether.

“Laydown” he said smiling, motioning towards the bed, thinking back now yes I reluctantly wearily took steps toward his double bed, feeling the soft brown sheets in my hands as I crawled onto his mattress and dutifully laying on my belly. Out the corner of my eye I could see him pick up a large white bottle taken from the top of an oak table, fuck I knew what that was as I turned my head to look against the opposing wall. I closed my eyes and felt the bed bounce up and down as he sat kneeling alongside my midriff, a heavier man than I first thought! Then I heard the recognisable sound of gel squirting from a pump action bottle top. God he’s not gonna massage me like those Croydon hookers I visit? No I knew what was happening next, repeating ‘yes’ to comfort myself, a feeling of calm overwhelmed me, joyous chemicals secreted my mind coursed my body, I was ready, my intimate passage now receptive to a virginal pleasure never experienced before, emotionless happy without fear or trepidation at last I relaxed, I DID want him inside me, do the dirty deed, f#ck me in the ass!

Still seated by my side, lights dimmed, bedroom warm and cosy, he turned and swung his strong thigh across the small of my back, now sitting straddling my legs, groin pressed between the cheeks of my succulent peachy ass, ripe for dividing in two, receptive to his seed. With hands either side of my turned head, I closed my eyes then seconds later I felt the tip of his erection push through between my squeezed together buttocks, rim of foreskin rubbing the skin coming to rest against my closed hole. My whole body convulsed in shock as the cold sticky gel pressed against the opening!

“Paul” he whispered with a hushed French accent, “Relax”, but I couldn’t, every muscle around my groin and buttocks clenched, he sat back a little then gently massaged my shoulder muscles allowing all tensions to release, minutes passed and a calm overcame me, a drowsiness as if my consciousness and eyelids requested sleep. But I didn’t! He was following all the signals coming from my body, he was skilfully playing me as if I were a musical instrument between the fingers of his hands, sensing I was ready he pushed his torso forward again at the same time his two hands placed either side of my head again holding the bridge of his chubby frame, absorbed into quilt and foam.

“Relax” he said more firmly and I obliged. now I felt the tip of his shaft again press against the most intimate part of a male’s body, then gently slid inside, the soft anus flesh parted and God the first inch was painful, my sphincter relaxed and his hole member, now lubricated slipped down my rectum all cold and wet. Jesus! He paused and we lay motionless coupled pre coital, then his pelvis began to rhythmically slowly rock back and forth both hands supporting his weight pressing into my pillow. Faster and faster he pushed, pulling his penis out, only to poke back in pressing even deeper, violating me deflowering me  buggering me, but I loved the pain I enjoyed the discomfort my rectum now full, me grimacing under the now powerful near violent stabbing of his penis as his groin hit my cheeks. Now he was hurting with each brutal thrust, the whole 9 inches momentarily touch my bladder making me want to pee, but I stopped myself through sheer blind concentration. He was now like a wild animal thrusting back and forth in an animalistic primeval sexual frenzy, gasping for air, drops of sweat falling from his forehead onto my neck, quicker and harder he rode, sodomising my anus, and it hurt the full weight of his heavy torso forcing his hard large dick for he was a man of great girth inside me. With every thrust I squealed eyelids tightly close teeth biting the soft cotton bedsheet, only for him to pull the pillow from under my head and toss across the room. Although my body was writhing in discomfort, my mind was crystal clear, my prostate stinging burning hot. Now he was fucking me so hard I thought I may lose consciousness, THEN his groin convulsed, his body momentarily in a spasm as my anus contracted in unison, I felt the veins of his penis against the inner walls as his throbbing member pumped its silky cream deep inside me and we screamed together a mixture of joyous agony.

Now the rhythmic rocking of his pelvis a top of mine slowed, he caught his breath and I felt the bulb of his condom grow large pressed against the inner organs of my body, all fear palpably dispersed, thank god he’d worn a condom, I’d forgotten, I’d trusted him, hookers tell me some men pull them off the moment before cumming, the rape makes them cry and only at the moment of orgasmic climax did I think Christ what if! Recovering composure his breath weakening, shoulders above mine arms like the overhanging canopy of a weeping willow, his hands like tips of branches touching the ground, now all was quietmy Frenchman silent not a muscle moving but our bodies still coupled his quivering member giving me every last drop, seconds passed and I began to feel agitated, “are you ok” I asked, then I sensed is body arch as he pulled out a softening dick, the two of us no longer joined as one living gasping animal my anus red and sore. Spent and pleasured he brought his right thigh up and across my spine, tossed the condom away and exhausted lay on his back beside me eyes closed, I gazed at him he oblivious to my stare and thought to myself ‘so this is how I appear moments after sex, worn-out serene satisfied!’ But as I’d always suspected, he was a man devoid of intimacy and affection blindly oblivious to me laying beside him, I’d been used, my body violently penetrated and now he was going to sleep, I’m a realist by nature, pragmatic I never let my guard down never let my heart rule my head, tonight I understood all, but instead of sleeping the podgy bastard could have chatted 😀

LOL.

The remaining hours passed uneventfully, he asleep and me motionless laying on my back eyes fixed on the worm like cable flex attached to a light bulb, still a dull orange having been dimmed, wide awake I tried to rationally process what happened earlier, but I had no regrets sex emotionally means little to me, I fuck a prostitute then leave never to return, what happened between us was sex and little no nothing more. I felt no love for the guy no loving bond, he didn’t repulse me and nether did I much care for him, we’d f#cked so what I’ve paid hookers and sex is the same, complete emotional detachment, satisfying my carnal lust then we both go our separate ways each instantly forgetting the other, me £60 lighter. I smiled to myself at least this time was free! Perhaps most men would feel disgust their ass being so hellishly lovingly violated, but I’m not most men, I’m open to new experiences and I can detach sex from any thoughts of connecting with someone’s soul, believe me when I say I can fuck someone, feel no attachment then walk away satisfied with my conscience clear. My mind at ease I drifted into a deep sleep!

The sexual experience doesn’t bother me in the slightest, doesn’t play on my mind, doesn’t upset me. Orientation is of no consequence, if a guy is appealing and you’re both game sex is fine, I wonder how many of you have gay fantasies but don’t admit?

Now back to WHAT REALLY HAPPENED that summers evening! WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED in France! WHAT HONESTLY TRUTHFULLY HAPPENED in his bedroom!

As we lay on his bed together unclothed, both nude and totally naked, sleeping side by side all night and yes chatting would have been nice! I’ll never forgive him for deceiving me, he wasn’t being friendly at all, if I’d met and offered a weary traveller a bed for the night, he’d have been given my spare bedroom, I’d have made him something to eat, brewed a pot of tea for us both, let him take a shower, hunted the house for maps and bus timetables, put clothes in the washing machine, made him breakfast maybe even a sandwich for his dinner, dropped him at the Station setting him straight for the day, I’d have been a Good Samaritan, I certainly wouldn’t have waited outside the bathroom door naked and asked “can I suck your dick”. Joking apart for many months after I slipped into a depression, shamed with what-ifs.

Looking back as of now, today, I think the whole sorry episode absolutely wonderful, I close my eyes seeing him again standing naked, with a hard-on, looking me in the eye, ‘cocked and ready to go’ and I never fail to laugh, and the fact I stripped off and went to bed with him is ABSOLUTELY F#CKING HILARIOUS! And yes he asked to suck my dick, now how many men can say that. PRICELESS!

The following morning. We dressed without speaking and he drove me all the way back to the railway station in his Renault Twingo with not a word of conversation between us, no hate or malice just nothing to say, we arrived at the station said our goodbyes and I’ve never heard or seen of him since! If that sounds all to short a story, as if I’d run dry of creativity, the answer’s no, that’s what happened we rose together, dressed, he dropped me at the train station and we went are separate ways.

He was a nice guy, a bit of a bastard but yes a sweet man.

So how did I do? Passably entertaining, a guy picking up weary male travellers with the promise of a bed and shower but knowing his wicked intention was consensual sex.

Original story © Andrew

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22. Hysterical Literature – The Female Orgasm

You may have heard of these videos.

Hysterical Literature – The female orgasm! 😀 now that caught your attention didn’t it! Hold on a second! Please don’t go away just yet because this post isn’t intended to be salacious sleazy perverted offensive or darn right dirty, though after reading some of you naughty ladies write I don’t think I should be the one apologising.

About: ‘Hysterical Literature is a video art series by NYC based photographer Clayton Cubit. It explores feminism, mind/body dualism. distraction portraiture and the contrast between portraiture and symbolism. (It’s also just fun to watch!)’.

Listen closely and you’ll hear a buzzing sound from the motors.

Below I’m sharing selected videos from a Director named Clayton Cubit and they’re all taken from his series of 12 short Films called ‘Hysterical Literature’ featuring 12 lovely women who have to be applauded for being so open honest and revealing! I do believe Film is an Artform so when the Director describes his Films as Art I agree also on a purely entertainment level I enjoyed watching because they’re fun. However do NOT fear you’ll see absolutely NO nudity or profane language! Much later after release The Director went on to write in a great depth attaching the words spirituality and a duality of mind and body which I’m not so sure about, either way Art or a blow for feminism his series of Films do have an original theme…….very original and as you may imagine they created a Worldwide media frenzy.

Incidentally: Session Three Danielle is my favourite.

A little background information, and I do think the Director was both inspired and original because I’ve never seen anything like them before or since, speaking of originality Quentin Tarantino once questioned in an interview, “are there are any original screenplays out there or only rehashes of tired ideas?”, Anyways I’m of the opinion Clayton’s series of Films are fun to watch and the idea behind them was quite inspired.

Oh yes a little background, the Director advertised for volunteer women who would feel comfortable being filmed whilst experiencing a sexual orgasm, note they are not porn, these are rather lovely personable everyday women who I guess were game for a laugh and interested in being part of a rather novel idea.

And note they are ladies of all ages both young and old!!!!

Before Filming took place the Director asked each of them to bring a favourite novel to read and clothing of their own choice, then he sat them down individually on a simple chair behind a simple table facing his camera, oh and he filmed in black and white and I think his masterstroke was the black curtain behind which both frames and focuses your attention onto the lady herself.

As for the vibrator! Out of view and sat underneath the table is his assistant, I guess a lady, who’s holding a variable speed vibrator ready to stimulate the ladies clitoris and omg that assistant seems to know what she’s doing!!! Are you keeping up!

Anyways no more explanation is needed except the idea behind the ladies reading from their favourite novels is to distract their mind’s attention from the effects of that vibrator! I guess you could read a great deal of pseudo symbolism into what you are about to see, no that’s unfair because there is something to be said for compartmentalising her mind between two emotion experiences and also spirituality…………anyways the ladies are not faking and watching her orgasm is quite enthralling but I’m not going to even try describing what these ladies are experiencing only I’d say they are quite spiritual and certainly compulsive viewing.

Incidentally when interviewed afterwards one lady said she’d received only a few negative remarks all from women! Also overwhelmingly the one single question asked of all 12 women volunteers was you’ve guessed it, “please can you tell me the name of that vibrator?”

So what do you think? I consider the series quite spiritual Films and yes they reveal a duality between her body and mind ……..and yes they are a lot of fun!

………..and finally Marne is my second favourite.

Andrew

 

 

 

 

 

 

13. Orgasm :)

Note adult themes but I haven’t broken WP guidelines because I’ve read and checked. Hopefully!

( 🙂 I’ve been blogging (loosely) for the past 2 years and every time I’ve I uploaded ‘something unusual’ I try and convince myself I don’t care what Readers think of me, but I do care 🙂 , trouble is I’m a restless sort of guy who is mentally unable (or is that unstable!) of themed blogging, btw I think themed blogs are fabulous but not really me, you see I get bored lol so unfortunately I’m a mixture you know a Family History, 1980’s music and ‘others’.}

I’m truly hoping this Post will make you smile, the one I promised the one I lost when I deleted my earlier Blog but no worries c’est la vie I’ve uploaded again.

🙂

The funny shaped black plastic container pictured down below is in fact THE worlds most popular male ‘sx toy’ which sells literally by the millions, so I guess I’m not that unusual after all! 😀 Btw I haven’t used ‘it’ in a long while not since my ‘one and only’ pink bottle of lubrication ran out. Where was I? Yes this ‘toy’ sells by the millions and at $40 a unit some lucky inventor is now very rich!

The toy is fun warm and tight but the fit is very different to a ladies real pussy and incidentally all the ones I’ve been lucky enough to …… were all bald as well! Discretion is the manufacturers key selling point and their designers have been quite clever because the black case is made to look like a ‘Flashlight’ hence the name ‘Fleshlight’ and I guess the idea is, if someone opens a cupboard door and sees ‘it’ on a shelf then they instantly think ‘Battery powered Torch’, BUT the manufacturers don’t tell you what happens when you remove the cap and try to use in a blackout emergency! Bit of a bummer if you have a power cut!

I can understand why people consider male toys an unusual idea, you know even a little sad, with ladies a vibe is considered cool her writhing about on the bed as she’s you know, btw I was amazed a certain lady Follower has never owned a vibe preferring her fingers instead, but men using a ‘Fleshlight’ is definitely unusual and I do feel guilty when I come across it from time to time, anyways enough of feeling sorry for myself 😀

Now to the pink pliable plastic V! Going by the twelve I’ve actually seen I have to say the appearance is pretty realistic looking, the V canal is 20mm diameter and tightness around the shaft is pretty much like the real pussy, not mixing spoon in pudding bowl 😀 , but of course the sleeve is only similar to a ladies V, nothing cums close to the real thing does it, so let’s just say similar.

I’ve perhaps gone tooo far with the next set of photos but there ain’t much I haven’t shown on WP and the cartoons should bring a smile! Just be thankful lol I’m not showing the accompanying YouTube video 😀

I couldn’t resist adding ‘a personal pic’ I AM a closet exhibitionist after all, seriously, I can undress lol in front of women who I’ve known literally minutes (note inside a bedroom) and not be in the slightest bit embarrassed which is so strange cause lol I’not that good looking.

Manufacturers claims: ‘The legendary US Pink Lady Fleshlight toy for men! A soft, pliable non-vibrating sleeve made from patented high-quality material, the Pink Lady Fleshlight gives incredibly realistic sensations!’

Immerse the Pink Lady Fleshlight sleeve in hot water to add heat and make your experience even more lifelike. The material feels like velvety soft warm flesh and is 100% body-safe. The moulded gel insert is housed in an attractive and sturdy canister that looks like an ordinary utility flashlight.

The Pink Lady Fleshlight is easy to handle, easy to clean, designed for discreet storage and impossible to wear out!

Always use with a generous squeeze of water-based lubricant to enhance your pleasure to sky-high levels.

After use I washed through under a cold water tap, dried with a towel and placed in the airing cupboard, talk about ‘faffing about’!!!! You can see why I can’t be bothered lol. All said and done though, from an engineering point of view the sleeve is one amazing piece of plastic, pliable, stretchy, feeling like skin and pink!

🙂 Personally I prefer the hand, a lot less messing around. So if you ever visit someone’s home and see one of these on a shelf you’ll know it’s not a Flashlight! 😉

Comes with a shower mount for heavens sake? I don’t think so! 🙂

fleshlight-mount-review

Andrew