I like to think of myself as a perfect gentleman, I’ll open doors for ladies at work allowing them to walk through first, and on a morning I’ll say “no, after you” inviting a lady to alight a commuter bus before I do even though by Societies Rules I should go first. I’m polite because throughout my formative years mum taught me the art of good manners both by instruction and by her example. I’ll say “please” and “thank you” many times throughout a day not because I have to, after all I’m an adult now I could forget all I’ve been taught, you know do away with all the “please may I have…..” “please could you pass……” but I haven’t forgotten because being polite is now second nature and yes being polite does makes me feel good about myself and more often than not she’ll smile sweetly in return 🙂
But of course a true gentleman must also have sound morals.
I work in Oxford and many times a week I’m stopped by Tourists asking for directions, I must have one of those approachable friendly faces! For example earlier this summer an overseas speaking tourist handed me her white iPhone, then her and a friend stepped back 20 paces asking me to take a photo of themselves standing in front of a British Red Telephone Box and even now I can clearly remember thinking as I took their photo ‘these ladies are very trusting, I could turn and run off with their £400 iPhone’…… but of course I didn’t!
However because I’m writing a blog story and I’ve included two rather ‘apparently happens’ pictures, you’ll have guessed there’s a qualification to my loveliness, an ulterior reason for all the polite gentlemanly childhood references and lol yes there is.
Each weekday at work, come mid morning I’ll nip out to Taylors Delicatessen 5 minutes away so I can buy an ’emmental cheese and salad sandwich’, my colleagues call me idle for not making a daily packed lunch and yes I am lazy but they are rather tasty.
So this Wednesday as usual, I walk off campus and as an aside there’s a rather nice benefit to being outdoors in sunny Oxford this time of year, there’s sure to be lots of ladies (all ages) wearing summer dresses which brightens up a boring day, University students, shop ladies or tourists Oxford’s awash with beautiful women 😦 big sigh! Anyways I cross the main road and quite a few meters in front of me is a young lady showing rather a lot of leg, her black ‘tighted’ right thigh and calf to be exact.
I hadn’t noticed her pass by while I was looking both ways before crossing, but then catching up behind her I did one of those double takes, let me explain she had what you would call a major wardrobe malfunction! For whatever reason unbeknown to the lady the right side of her dress was pulled up trapped between shoulder bag and buttock! I know quite incredible and I might add extremely sexy when viewed from behind, a few paces in front of me was a lady showing her black tighted leg from shoe heel right up to well the base of her bag, no knickers on show just her very sexy leg line!
And I might add she wasn’t the first ‘caught dress’ scenario I’ve ever witnessed!
“So what did you do Andrew” you may ask? I guess I should have run up to her, tapped her on the shoulder and said “miss did you know your dress hem is caught”, like I’ve explained I consider myself a well mannered perfect gentleman, I should have said something shouldn’t I but alas I didn’t, I followed admiringly for a minute (only) then she turned right into an alleyway and I walked straight on to buy my sandwich and that’s the last I ever saw of her!
But for quite a while afterwards I wondered at what point did she realise her clothing embarrassment? Did some kind gentleman a few moments later point out her dress hem malfunction? Or for the next 25 minutes did she walk into Oxford City centre with no one telling her, I guess someone did!
But if I’m going to refer to myself as at least chivalrous then ‘Andrew you should really have said something to her’, in fact approaching might have been quite a fun exchange, hmm not my finest moment was it! As always with me, ‘my dick ruled my brain’ which is another phrase for pretty women lol are my only weakness! (One or two of lady readers understand there’s a moral tale connected to that admission!)