30 – I’m a little upset tonight




I’m a little upset tonight, not tearful because I’m not the crying sort of man, perhaps I should reveal more of my emotions happy or sad, but not tonight I’m just to damn weary, a long day at work, two bus journeys and a phone call from my mum and I’m totally spent.

Don’t assume by me writing this post that I’m hankering after sympathy, I’m a practical man, I’m ok I just felt like writing something down so this post is totally unprepared and written out here and now. I’m not tearful but I am feeling a little low, just the tiny bit emotional, remember an earlier post where I told you all about our two collies called Lucy and Holly? Well mum phoned a few minutes ago to say Lucy was put to sleep at the vets earlier this morning, our loyal friend and precious pet dog had lived to a good age, fifteen years is exceptional for medium size dogs, but today was her final day on earth and looking at the recent photo above she was looking a bit of an old lady!

Fifteen years is a long time, we bought her from a farm and she’s a genuine sheep hearding border collie, I won’t write down Lucy’s life story just that she was loyal a friend and lots of fun, she’d fetch a thrown ball all day long if you wanted, pets become part of ones family don’t they hence that’s why their passing hurts so much. There are lots of stories to tell, only interesting to me except to say I’ll miss taking her on long walks down by the river, I’ll really miss walking the common and across fields. My sadness will probably pass by this time tomorrow to be replaced by happy memories which will be triggered by completely innocuous events in years to come, I’m ok.

So there you are, days like these bring home life’s path can change forever just by means of a simple phone call, so there you are, mum’s not to upset because she’s a very strong woman takes after her mother, and they have Holly who’ll be comfort in the days to come.

My apologies for putting you through this post if you’re reading, but I’m really not sure if anyone does anyway, tonight I lost my pet dog and feel an empty hole in my heart but it’ll pass and that’s fine to acknowledge life goes on. So there you are, life’s path isn’t linear is it? Yes the direction is straight-on but life revolves around cycles, you’re born a baby and ultimately you may grow up and produce a baby of your own and so life’s cycle goes on and on 🙂 all very profound! We’ve had collies before and if my parents were younger they’d have a collie pup again life goes on.

Anyways enough of all that, tonight’s been nice to look at Lucy’s picture and write a few things down, I’m definitely at my most comfortable holding photograph and writing a family post.

Tomorrows another day and there’s more important things in life, remember my post ‘child abduction and the lie that is CCTV’? Well her abduction has had a big effect on me, more than I’d ever imagined, that poor girl, a car pulls alongside as she’s walking to school……….. and well her ordeal puts ANY of life’s problems into perspective and a pet dog dying is of no comparison.