A ‘peachy bookworm’ and a saucy tale.

© Andrew

Before I tell you my saucy little tale I’ve a quick update. Regular readers to this Blog may recall most early mornings I’m joined by a young lady at the same bus stop. NOW don’t get tooo excited lol but for those who haven’t read the tale please click here because it really is tooo long and complicated to retell again!

A short intermission.

Before I forget. I’ll write no more of my visit to a Polish prostate masseuse lol I think I’ve over cooked that story, and just to say I’m passing on lovely Lydia wearing an 8″ strap-on ONLY because it doesn’t look fun, and Andrew’s all about enjoying a lady’s friendly kind caring company without any drama or distractions………….plus it appears f#cking painful and I don’t do pain!

bfcdc278d19c2ba91a278624a609e27f_viewReturning to that bus stop lady tale remember don’t expect tooo much! So you’re aware most mornings I’m joined at the bus stop by a young lady who is ALWAYS reading from an open book in one hand. That she reads from when I first see her by the ‘Sue Ryder Hospice Shop’, right through to alighting the bus and striding into the distance, that she never stops reading well fascinates me.

Anyways enough to say we’ve made friendly (very) small talk, nothing special mind, no names or exchanging lol telephone numbers, oh and disappointingly she’s old enough to be my daughter (btw she’s a peachy ass that looks fabulous inside stretchy leggings and I’m a gentleman so I let her board the bus before me and just by coincidence mind, I happen to gaze deeply into her peachy ass. Lol cheap thrills!

ANYWAYS she is lovely, BUT rather disappointingly she smokes loose tobacco roll your own cigarettes and one after another. 😦 As soon as she opened her mouth to first speak I realised tobacco had lowered her voice, damaged her vocal chords, you can always tell. 😦 Such a shame because for personal reasons I do so hate cigarettes.

She’s a lovely girl but the problem with being age@22 is you think you’re going to live forever, however life’s not like that is it, a chain smoking habit will always have side effects that’ll affect ones health, however that’s not for me to judge. Nice girl though, if I was 25 years younger I may have asked her out (yeh dream on Andrew sure you would have!!) The reason I mention this inconsequential anecdote is because I thought some readers would like to know. Hmm big sigh, it’s times like these I wish I was in my twenties again! :/

Oh yes that saucy tale, here’s me fretting I’ve no more what I theme ‘sexy observations of the fair sex’ stories, you know the tale of me one evening watching my neighbour strip naked (sorry I can’t get over this one), the tale of seeing my first vagina, the one night stand, a student showing me her boobs and many more true silly tales. 

Well here’s another, Wednesday I got flashed at by a lady and I still cannot believe she did it, now if I flashed my underwear at a woman I’d get arrested for perving lol, but I swear double standards exist in 2017 England. Anyways I’m not complaining and to give you context I’ll return one final time to ladies riding bikes wearing short skirts.

A word to the lady follower from South Africa, yes I’ve been wasting my life again downloading pics on Google (btw I cropped all their faces, and NONE were taken by myself as you’d expect!)  

Wednesday afternoon I left work to visit the dentist.

Whilst striding along the pavement suddenly in the distance I noticed a lady cycling towards me, and being the red blooded male that I am I could see she wore a short skirt! Consequently I (as you know this happens) I shifted a little closer to the kerb as you do, and totally by chance I surreptitiously looked in the direction of her saddle, my eye line drawn to her long legs and err up her skirt imagining those hidden jewels within, well believe me when I tell you she looked at me and gave me a cheeky big grin as she cycled past! 

There’s more! NO word of a lie that young lady (age 20), because she obviously knew what I was at, parted her thighs and showed me everything as she cycled by! Cobalt blue coloured knickers they were not forgetting the cheeky grin across her face and then ‘puff’ she was gone. Cheap thrills indeed!

I’m afraid I just do not understand women, lol I have trouble understanding why she showed me her knickers and this has happened before, the same cheeky grin, knowing what’s on view, hmm perhaps I have an unusual type of face?

Well I smiled in return glancing at her cobalt blue gusset and yes I’m afraid I was very brazen about looking. I kid you not, wearing a short skirt she flashed me as she cycled past and please do lol feel free to call me something in comments, and btw she made my day my week!

As to ‘the’ why? Perhaps she’s a free spirit and flashing a middle aged (sexually frustrated) guy amused her? Perhaps I get away with looking because I was a little obvious.

OK lol that’s enough sexy honesty for one evening, admitting my err weaknesses makes me appear like a perv, but hey this is my blog and you’re all aware I DO love the fair sex. So shall we refer to this tale as err 7 out of 10 just for my honesty! 😀

:/ But as I reminded you earlier, ladies beware of men in the Street photographing you riding a bike. 

Andrew.

 

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Epilepsy and Polish Massaging?

©Andrew. This post is not so much adult themes, perhaps think of ‘it’ as an amusing anecdote.

I know I haven’t been around these past few days but I’m rather pleased I kept my word, I said I’d post everyday the other week and I did. So yes 🙂 if you read a previous post or two now you’ll know I visited my Polish masseuse and very lovely she was tooo the only dilemma is shall I visit again? But first! This week has been a little depressing long story enough to say this past month I’ve been taking new medication for my 25 year long battle with epilepsy.

However late last week I suffered a relapse whilst taking these new magic medical bullets, all very unfortunate :/ but fingers crossed the ‘episode’ was just a glitch, mind you and being honest I’ve had a strong sense these past 6 months or so, I may just be one of those people where medication just isn’t for me, but there you are that’s life worse things happen at sea and all that! I’m a positive sort of guy and yes seizures are a pain in the arse, you’ll understand epilepsy is a hidden disease unseen and unknown to many people until a fit strikes! I have a feeling all that ‘shaking’ is more scary and frightening for those who’ve never seen before, and although I’ve never experienced watching ‘someone etc’ I’m fully aware witnessing a seizure isn’t pleasant and I guess could be rather disturbing to say children.

Then again children are stronger than we adults give them credit for.

Not nice and the possibility of one happening is always in the back of my mind, within 5 seconds from now I could have a seizure then again the next could be one month away? The bummer is I have to be prepared for one hence they’re never far from my thoughts, all very draining. Hmm six ambulance trips to casualty so far in a lifetime, maybe I’ll write more about my epilepsy but then again I think readers prefer happy amusing upbeat blogs over depressing ones, I know I do.

On the subject of amusing anecdotes, remember a few weeks ago I visited a Polish masseuse name of Lydia? No? Please read on 🙂

Victoria's Secret 10That reminds me ‘Victoria Secret’ saw my stockings post and they now want to take me on as a lingerie model me having fantastic shapely legs and all……………..only joking, mind you my ass is round and pert and do you know what I could get away with modelling ladies hosiery! 😀

Oh yes that masseuse, I have this dilemma which comes in two parts, if I visit her once again which I really want to, there’s always the slight possibility I could experience a seizure in her bedroom, however if I was to forewarn Lydia she’d probably decline my booking. However if I didn’t tell her and experienced a seizure God forbid, she’d freak out which seems unfair to the lady even though I haven’t broken any rules, a catch 22 have you will. Visit have a seizure don’t get a massage or tell her beforehand and again don’t get a massage 😀 BUT, in life’s grand scheme there’s more important problems in the world than massages.

Oh yes the second dilemma is categorised toys and comes later. Along with the ‘Erotic Swedish’ Lydia’s speciality is prostate massage, I can honestly say a ladies finger up the ass gently stroking and tickling my prostate gland IS one of the more gorgeous experiences of my life. A sexy tip for you lady readers, offer to milk your partner’s prostate gland and your every wish will be fulfilled. You want the spare bedroom painted? Say you’ll gently stroke is prostate and that colour scheme you’ve always dreamed of will adorn the four walls.

thailand_prostate-massageYou want a picture hanging? The garage tidied? Then consider it done, just promise him you’ll insert a finger, tickle for a favour and he’ll do overtime at work just to buy you that new pair of shoes you’ve always wanted! Why so Andrew? Because the waves of joy and pleasure pulsating around my groin as Lydia stimulated those thousands of nerve endings is highly erotic, fabulous fun and near indescribable happiness.

As I lay on Lydia’s bed her sitting straddling my thighs, legs wide apart showing me labia lips prominent through thin lycra leggings was arousing, further still my err arousal gave me the hardest straightest erection I think I’ve experienced, and the orgasm from her finger tickling hand relief was truly heaven sent. 

My second eye watering dilemma is whether to go that one step farther! I’m being a little obtuse and you don’t understand what an earth I’m wittering on about? Perhaps the photo adds clarity! Hmm shall I visit again, go one step farther or shall I leave ‘it’? At present I’m thinking, ‘Perhaps I’ll leave ‘it’ for now 🙂 ……….still that ‘thing’ whatever it is? Reminds me of a bucket list I once jotted down.

😀 Penny for your thoughts!

Anne 005
Hmm could be Lydia 😉 , could be off Google images?

Andrew

Photography session pt3 – final thoughts!

A massage tale and little else, no sex. 🙂

Masseuse (noun) def. A woman who provides massage professionally.

I must apologise for my misleading post Title that was naughty, and yes click bait at its worst! You’ll have guessed there were more selfies in this series of me modelling lady’s black stockings, however I’m worried some of you lady readers might pass out (or 😉 moisten) so I’ll keep them private, especially after reading such complimentary feedback! 😀 Then again 100 Likes ‘here’ and I’ll share them how’s that for a deal? NO!!!

I quite enjoyed photographing myself actually, viewing my body in a whole new perspective is fascinating sexy even, and if you were wondering those stocking’d pictures were captured using my Samsung Galaxy Tablet, I ONLY wish I’d remembered I owned a video camera because the movies filmed at Blenheim Palace could have been so much more spectacular!

Talking of dick pictures! I’ve never sent a lady a photo of my dick but the more I read about this nasty habit, a female victim’s reaction is either “whatever”, an unimpressed “wtf” or a more usual “that’s disgusting”. Yet some men appear to love exposing their manhood to women, why? However they’d probably have to think twice in future, current sexual assault legislation is in a whirlwind of change, a firestorm of change and quite right to.

I visited my Polish masseuse, then wrote a ridiculously long 4000+ word post, drafted and split into 3 parts! But I’ve been posting tooo often just recently, I have this sixth sense people are a little bored with my musings and to be honest I’ve wrapped up the series one might call, sexual observations of the female human mammal, for that’s what we are, just another mammal amongst thousands that walk planet earth!

Hmmm no doubt some lady will prompt another sexy post!

Oh yes my Polish masseuse, I visited her rented flat, I stripped naked as she sat on the bed wearing a rather stern expression watching me undress, and the more I think about her staring the more I’m convinced she was waiting to see what specimen of men’s member she would soon be consensually playing with! But many women have seen me undress to be unfazed by them gazing at my manhood.

So there I am stripped naked and extremely warm because her one bedroom flat was hotter than a sauna. I lay face down atop a bath size towel stretched out on her bed, feeling Lydia climb on after me I make myself comfortable and finally relax. I must admit I hadn’t expected her to sit on top of my thighs her knees straddling my waist, I could even feel her warm crotch against my skin, her knees squeezed tight against my hips making sure I wasn’t going anywhere!

Anne 003
A very beautiful lady.

For the following ten minutes Lydia massaged my back transporting me to heaven, her skilful touch is an experience a guy hopes dreams and wishes for, gorgeous Lydia with her dextrous fingertips massaging scented oils into my shoulder muscles, the fibres tense and knotted, applying gentle pressure to tired muscles which later that evening were yes a touch sore. Not to worry I hadn’t experienced such powerful tingling sensations ever!

Then she asked me to roll over, propped a pillow behind my neck raising my head because she was worried I’d pass out. Again she straddled my hips, her knees so far apart I could see the profile of her ‘lady bits’, she was smiling at me gazing at her private region because it was quite deliberate. I became aroused, a signal for Lydia to get the baby oil bottle and plastic gloves out drizzling the cold liquid down the shaft of my p#n#s, then with skilful right hand she rhythmically tugged twisted and rubbed giving me the best hand relief I’d ever received, then she pushed her left index finger inside my you know and when she stroked my prostate my eyeballs rolled into the back of my head!!! Finally came the money shot as I gazed at her perfectly shaped boobs inside a cotton balconette bra………… I showered, dried myself, dressed, we hugged and I left a happy, very happy satisfied Andrew.

There was to be no sex, no oral, no touching of her incredible body, no kissing all of which I’d known courtesy of her website, and as I’d prepared myself to expect. Lydia was a little more (if you call prostate little more) than your average masseuse, however hers wasn’t an adult service, she was totally professional and importantly to me skilful genuine and lovely, basically all that I’d hoped for. 

anne-004-e1510176747979.jpg
😉 A Google image? I’ll let you decide!

 

Andrew x

:)

‘If you never change your mind, why have one? (Edward De Bono)’, I had intended to post every day, but some of you will know me by now, my post order and self imposed rules change like the wind, anyways here’s a request post………. and I’ll be gone for a day or three, I do think I’ve become a little ‘samey’ (English term), so I’ll leave the masseuse story for another day 4000 words ffs! Anyways err have a laugh with this one!

https://collie123.wordpress.com/2017/11/01/have-you-ever-cross-dressed/ will give these pics both context and explain a little, I took a few more and I’ll probably add to these three pictures, let’s say Sunday? 😉

Oh and be aware the two scrunched up balls of black polyester lingerie now lie deep within the chest of draws from whence they came, mind you  I’d bet I’m not the first guy to have worn black stockings, and I doubt I’ll be the last!!

©Andrea

 

 

 

Cheap ‘sexy’ Thrills 2

I am so bored AND I’m in pain I hope you know! Things I do for you ladies in the name of redressing the balance. I get the sense my post Cheap ‘sexy’ Thrills wasn’t well received! I don’t know I’m an intuitive kind a guy but not receiving a single like kinda tells me I over stepped a good taste benchmark, I objectified the female figure for cheap visual gratification hmm :/ fair point, I’d guess correctly one or two ladies are secretly seething, mutterings of “male chauvinistic pig”, so any ladies who still follow Blog Andrew so as to redress the balance I’m going to share sexy photographs of men alongside their bikes! Objectify a few male bodies for male or female viewing enjoyment. Off to bed now and did I tell you I’m in a lot of pain 😀 Andrew.

Goodnight. 🙂

 

Cheap ‘sexy’ thrills

I’ve broke a rib! I can’t get out the house! I’m bored! Hence posts such as this! Normal service resumes soon, promise!

I hope you’ll read my soon to follow post. A thoughtfully written piece where I address the fact I work alongside young females, I’ll share my views as to ‘what is and what isn’t’ appropriate behaviour, do new rules sensibilities and boundaries exist in 2017? Or have men always understood right from wrong in the workplace?

SO with my new found moral respectability in mind, this post is themed observations of women riding bicycles wearing short skirts showing their knickers! I try so SO hard to be thoughtful and serious but (big sigh) sexual themes amuse me. :/ My apologies in advance.

Kelly Brook
Kelly Brooke model and actress!

Cheap Thrill (noun) def. Something providing only short-lived enjoyment or satisfaction.

Girl legs bike 1
Black stockings identical to my Marks and Spencers pair, same hold-up bands and all!

I haven’t written one of my sexy observations of the fair sex posts for a while, time to put that right 😉 The beautiful historic City of Oxford, and you’ll understand where I’m coming from if you’ve ever visited, is a city of year on year eternal youth and a consequence of being a seat of learning each September a new ‘crop lol’ of let’s refer to girls 18+ only, begin their University education, a new intake of female students and young women flood Oxford’s Medieval Streets and yes their sexuality is on show for all to see, 🙂 this could well be my final ‘observation of the female figure’ Post btw. Note Google images only!!

tumblr_ndi9d634gp1scxri0o1_540For reasons incomprehensible to my tiny male mind, a fact of life is ladies of all ages wear short skirts, I know not why, fashion? To attract a mate? All female birds and mammals possess a gift for attracting a mate, women are no different, they have the legs so why not show them? The choice is there’s to make and praise the Lord!

Girl legs bike 3Where was I? Oxford a City of eternal youth! And I’ve used that phrase before with  applicable posts, this summer on a particularly hot day I’ve seen many many ‘guys and girls’ wearing very little! A young lady will pass me in the Street boobs a jiggling nipples very often set on full beam if a cool breeze is afoot, and closing my eyes this very moment, I recall one attractive young lady wearing a skin tight purple top with massive round boobs, and nipples the mirror image of Scammell wheel nuts (Google!) Damn I’ve drifted onto a favourite conversation piece of mine, BREASTS!

South African professional model whose name escapes me.

Oh yes where was I short skirts. Whichever the season of a year I’ll wander down town of a lunchtime and young ladies cycle the length of ‘blank’ Street, revealing their glorious long legs and shapely thighs, incidentally this very week as the temperatures have plummeted they’ve switched to adding black stockings to their attractive look. I’m unsure as to factual validity but a guy once told me women wear this garment because they have an extra layer of fat to their bodies? No idea!

:/ Over active imagination!

I shouldn’t really admit this but if I happen to be walking a pavement and visually make out the image of a lady on a bike approaching me, I have been known to edge closer to the road kerb, not pervy close mind! And as she’ll cycle past but a couple of feet away and if she’s wearing a short skirt, I may happen to have the briefest of glimpses of a milky white inner thigh, my eye line drawn all the way to the gusset of next weeks washing! And incidentally ladies will smile for they know exactly what us men are up to!

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Girl legs bike 2

I’m in a lot of pain 😦 , some Readers might just say good! Andrew 😉

 

OMG I’M CUMMING (a response for………)

Original and © Andrew 

JFF and certainly not to be taken tooo literally or heaven forbid seriously……………….. note there’s no hate no nudity (well a little) no pornography and as I’ve written before 🙂 in the unlikely event you’re under 16 why not go and play a computer game, it’ll be more fun than reading this (hopefully entertaining) silliness!

If you’d like to understand how and why this very bizarre post came about ‘click here’, in my opinion a read should help explain all in less than three minutes, then again after reading you may say wtf and not bother coming back 😀 ………………… are you back? Hope so!

I’ll refrain from cross referencing belle’s post and reply to her questions instead, I’ll tell you my own masturbation story in my own words and in my opinion her’s is far better than mine anyway…………..Jeez takes me an age to begin!news1-1

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Pregnant in maxi-dress and lookin sexy?

c441705897f69c9b98a0aa237e5dee0eA post inspired by a pregnant woman who smiled at me as we passed each other walking along the lane that joins my home to Town. (July 2017)

Also prompted by a News story from America, apparently there was a little controversy (‘noise there’s always noise’ a quote 🙂 ) when a viewer branded anchor woman Laura Warren’s baby bump ‘disgusting’ by voicemail, I know I’m baffled to?

A question for you. In polite society is a guy allowed to say a pregnant lady can look sexy? Or is thinking let alone admitting a definite no no.

I’m not fishing for compliments here, this question genuinely honestly crosses my mind time to time, say as I’m commuting to work on the bus bored out of my mind.

The celebrity pictured below (who?) is ‘with child’ and in my learned opinion she is quite a few weeks in and not long till giving birth? And well I think she has a very sexy figure however she’s carrying someone inside so am I coming across as a little bit pervy? Don’t mean to!

Blog intermission, bit like those ice cream breaks you used to get at the cinema if you’re old enough to remember!

Quick update to my erotica tale, btw there won’t be another, you just DON’T know how much that post took out of me, I finished part 3 and thought OMFG 9 erotic fantasy writers have liked, Jeez, what if my story’s an ‘anti-climax’? Not to worry my erotic tale went ‘down’ well however I won’t be revealing fact from fantasy……….. 🙂 I’ll leave you to guess.

Intermission over.

Pregnant in maxi dress 2Returning to pregnant ladies, as I’ve told you I was walking into Town along the lane that crosses the Common and not far into my housing estate one sunny July morning all of a sudden I see a lady by herself walking toward me wearing a full length black maxi dress, you know the ones, they’re made like a long sock out of stretchy cotton fabric and it NEVER ceases to amaze me a maxi dress clings to every part of a ladies body as if spray painted on!

My guess is it takes a confident woman to wear one because they show every lump bump and curve of her body, the complete outline of her figure. Anyways she’s coming toward me and I’m sorry but I cannot not take my eyes from staring, not at her boobs hips waist through to the mound of her ‘you know what’ which is very clear to see, probably one of the sexiest dresses known to man, however I wasn’t looking at her figure I was kinda staring at her bump!

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‘Helen’s Striptease’

©Andrew. Think for a second how you’d honestly react if you witnessed a close neighbour stripping naked? Lol would you close the curtains and return to bed? Or would you go find those binoculars so you could watch? Human beings are voyeurs at heart, just some more ‘pervy’ than others! 😀

jimmy_stewart_rear_window_looking_through_camera.png
Wow observe James Stewart’s eyes. The dawning he has just witnessed a murder in ‘Rear Window!’ (Directed by Alfred Hitchcock)

‘Where to begin? I’ll set the scene that’s a good place to start…………… One evening a good few years ago I was peeking through my slightly parted bedroom curtains, my body propped up against the window sill gazing out across the fields which lay behind the house opposite, tonight I was watching a truly spectacular thunder and lightening display, this evening I was privileged to witnessing mother nature’s awe inspiring power, raw unbridled magnificent energy, every few minutes I felt my house shake after loud claps of thunder overhead, several minutes further and my eyes would be momentarily blinded by phosphorous white lightening strikes thunderstorms so very specific to English hot summers, then finally tarmac bouncing rain quenching England of all stifling heat and humidity………….. luckily the rain would stay away for a few hours longer!!!

……….. below this display of electric lightening and bedroom rocking thunder a bright light suddenly appeared from the third story room window opposite, an angled rooftop window set against grey tiles, and a white luminance so bright it woke me from my magnificent daydream, so what vision did my focusing eyes see?

There standing before me in clear close view was the silhouette of a slim auburn haired middle aged lady standing waist up behind her window sill………. I knew her to speak to as my neighbour across the Street, a lady called Helen (not really), age 45ish attractive in a yummy mummy sort of way, I fancied her of course and she’s happily married to a lovely guy but I wouldn’t say no if she asked, I’ve seen her picking up leaves in the front garden and she’s a handsome figure of a woman, a young looking sexy 45 year old, even after ‘blank’ children she still has a trim figure.

In a state of nerves and shock, my mind trying to process what the f#ck was happening over the road, I quickly ran and rummaged through a draw for my binoculars, God knows how I didn’t break my neck on the laminate flooring, then quick as a flash I regained my position and with hands shaking drew the lenses to my eyes. I can remember clearly the moment Helen’s bright window appeared, crystal clear and pin sharp, a vision so close now I could make out expressions on her face and the room within, my heart pounding catching my breath I propped my elbows on the sill and watched!!!!! I’d seen breasts down blouses before, by chance mind, but now I was a proper voyeur lol.

I’ve seen and chatted to Helen many times before but seeing her tonight was a whole lot different, I assumed this was her spare room but I’ve no idea it being situated above my eye line and set well back behind Street’s view, no one but me could see Helen and she was safe in the knowledge I wouldn’t be watching however I was, all very Hitchcock’s Rear Window! Well tonight for  25 minutes or so she went about her homely duties, mainly carrying bundles of clothes around the room, folding sheets, putting clean washing in draws? Who knows, just understand Helen was busy and I’m excited, both engrossed and fascinated I watched as she’d paused time to time under the apex of this small cramped space, stopping aside the smallish square open window, blind open, visible waist up, me watching….incredible!

Each time Helen paused her domestic routine I could see she was wearing a skin tight yellow tee shirt so visibly figure hugging I made out the profile of her bosom but the height of the window meant I could see no lower. Observing her was enough and I wasn’t masturbating, she looked so lovely against this bright white light, still calm and deep in thought a side of her I’d never witnessed, a lovely lady and I fancied her AND yes I agree with you I was invading her privacy! :/

Well after a few minutes of innocent voyeurism all the more exciting because the female recipient was unaware, she paused again and did something so shocking I remember swallowing hard and the binoculars trembling, Helen suddenly pulled up her shirt from the waist moving her arms skywards stripping off the garment over her head, then she held it up to the light (not window) looked at it then folded and threw to her side, at this point I was totally stunned, gobsmacked, omg I couldn’t believe I was actually watching her undress for the first and only time in my life! Jesus a performance like this only really happens in filthy novels and artistic movies. To say I was amazed is a frigging understatement, my mind was alive, my heart was pounding, the tip of my penis quivering, the lady opposite was wearing only a pretty white bra set against her pink naked body, Helen’s gorgeous and I’m partial to naturel small breasts. 

Seconds later she reached her arms behind her back, unclipped her bra allowing the white straps to glide down her arms before again tossing the undergarment to her side, minutes ago I’d been watching the approaching soon to be thunderstorm peeking through curtains, and by pure glorious coincidence I now see an illuminated nude like painting of the lady opposite near completely naked and all with my binocular lens centred on her perfect small pert breasts, her pink skin and auburn hair. Nothing below mind but I didn’t care, tonight I was a voyeur intimately watching my neighbour Helen undress and in hindsight I’m at a loss as to why I didn’t faint or have a heart attack. Unbelievable! Incredible! Beautiful! OMFG!!!! Voyeurism is wrong but by God forbidden fruit tastes sweet.

Throughout this striptease performance I’d asked myself ‘what’s she looking at her gaze fixed on something across the room?’ She’d been alone, was it a mirror or picture and I could sense Helen’s mind is distracted by something, then she startled me, she stretched an arm straight up in the air and proceeded to move her other hand below the armpit gently smoothing the palm against her skin, methodically caressing in circling motions a picture of concentration etched across her face.

I should I have turned away shouldn’t I? Closed the curtains and gone back to bed! You must be f&%king joking legally it’s my window sill and the view out is mine!

Of course I kept watching.

Helen caressessed squeezed prodded her breasts with two fingers then switching hands she repeated this now obvious checking ritual beneath the other pit of her upwardly stretched arm, all the while her face a picture of serene concentration, she even held both boobs at once as if pointing squirting sprays of milk at a mirror and now I’m sure she’s looking at her reflection in a mirror opposite? Of course by now I’d worked out what she was doing, I was witness to something very private and intimate, she was examining her breasts in a time honoured womanly routine her wistful calmness so beautiful it touched my soul (true), she’d been of course feeling for changes within her breasts, I hope to God there were none and of course tonight I was a very VERY lucky man.

So a question to any ladies reading and judging voyeur Andrew, remember that definition, I ask if you happened to be watching a neighbour strip naked then feel squeeze examine his testicles what would you do? Close the curtains? Go to bed? Or satisfy your voyeuristic appetite? Come on be honest now, no please don’t, but I have my own idea what you’d all do, one or two would be in bed long before now and the rest would have their hand down the front of their knickers doing the things girls do, remember I’m NOT a nasty man.

So how did your late night adventure end Andrew? Well her breast examinations lasted five minutes then all of a sudden something startled her, perhaps a noise from the Street below or a sudden awareness she was in-fact standing naked in her bedroom, lights on, aside an open window because tonight was so damn hot and humid, who knows? But quick as a flash she pulled a forearm across her chest covering her breasts at the same time leaning forward forcibly pulling down the blind shut!!

Performance over I caught my breath, my heart rate lowered as I climbed into bed and most amusingly of all still holding my binoculars, I woke up next morning with them! Then I slept like a baby totally utterly exhausted and btw at no point did I masturbate myself a middle aged man can only take so much excitement in one evening. Have I ever seen her undress again? NO because I never look out of my window unless there’s lightening to watch thunder to hear, in-fact that statement is absolutely true. So consequently I’ve never seen her undress again or honestly attempted to, yes even on humid warm balmy evenings because I know for fact striptease displays, a naked woman, live breast examinations are coincidences that happen once in a guy’s lifetime.’

So there you are, last time I published this I questioned ‘is my voyeurism a true tale or fiction? Is my incredibly vivid and erotic memory so etched across my mind only a story? I’ll allow the reader to decide’, well the evenings events as written actually happened, judge me she certainly would, fabulous and all very Jimmy Stewart in Hitchcock’s ‘Rear Window’.

Ladies I’ll leave you with one thought, be careful what you are doing late at night in your bedroom because someone might be be watching! 😀

© Andrew