Throwing a ball with Holly the collie Sunday.

I’m annoyed, thoroughly brassed off and extremely tired, I have just spent the last hour writing a family themed Post which after pressing preview disappeared from view, consequently all my hard work is gone lost forever!

So tonight in place of my ‘long lost masterpiece’, here’s a video I filmed Sunday afternoon and for those of you who haven’t read earlier Posts Holly is the family collie ūüôā¬†

I’ve shared pet photos time to time on Blog Andrew, I ‘snapped’ the one below whilst staying over at my brother’s Christmas 2016……….ok that’s seven months ago but what the heck who doesn’t like doggy photos?………….And by the look of all that torn paper I think she’s just finished opening someone else’s present!!!

Holly Xmas

Incidentally you may remember Holly is a rescue dog who’d spent the early years of her life kept inside a cage, which resided in the kitchen of a Flat with NO GARDEN, frigging disgusting don’t you think? To cut a long story short she had a few problems when my mum rescued her, such as toilet training etc, BUT my mum put her straight and now she’s one of the family, the perfect pet friend……..perhaps don’t purchase a collie unless you have the time and patience to train, that’s very arrogant of me to suggest but they are highly intelligent dogs and require a lot of mental stimulation! But she’s fine now. ūüôā¬†

Sorry the photograph from last Christmas, the video was filmed yesterday.

© Andrew

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I have absolutely no idea why women wear bras?

Disclaimer. ūüôā These are the private musings of a middle aged Englishman, me Andrew, also note this Post contains NO nudity, call it my final ‘Just For Fun’ Post. (Maybe ūüėÄ ) and please remember I have a good heart and mean no disrespect.

Two reasons for writing this evening, my Followers already understand I’m slightly obsessed with boobs well least I’m honest! Jo knows I’m currently single at present and I miss squeezing a breast :D, the second reason is I enjoy Cosmic Colette’s YouTube stream and she was kind enough reply to my Comment, even laughed, truth be known hardly any YouTuber’s reply to video comments, why? Btw I have asked permission and she is fine with my Post.

Colette’s YouTube (link left) is themed fun entertainment travelling veganism body image bullying relationships mental health and much much more ūüôā

My YouTube is andschannll

I thought I’d write something a little more light hearted today after my rather sombre and serious previous 10 Downing Street posts, truth be known politics is a dirty business and I’m glad not to be a part of it…………………… then again ‘big sigh’ we are all intrinsic to politics ūüė¶

Enough politics!

Breasts and bras!

I’ve had the question ‘Why do women wear bras’ playing on my mind this past few days, such a weird contraption dreamt up by a bridge engineer (a man) in ‘ye olde’ Victorian England, so the story goes, mind you the design resembles a suspension bridge, seems logical or maybe “fake news?”

A woman I uhmm used to be ‘friends’ with likened wearing a bra similar to ‘unprintable’, the soreness from underwire’s were truly horrendous, she was one of those girls who’d unclip her bra, give a huge sigh of relief and say “thank God that’s off! Now I can breath!”¬†

I don’t think the video maker Cosmic Colette would mind me sharing her YouTube video, hell I might even tell her I’m sharing her “I haven’t worn a bra in one year!” video because I enjoyed watching and seeing as I’ve commented below her videos before……

So what did you think to her video? She’s lovely (attached ūüė¶ ) and I’ll be honest and agree I can’t understand why women wear bras, they look SO much better without one, in fact Colette’s views and opinions seem pretty compelling reasons why not to wear one!

……. and if you’re saying to yourself ‘so tell me Andrew why an earth are you so interested in bras all of a sudden?’, well think back to my post Helen’s Striptease, the moment where my middle aged neighbour Helen unclipped her bra, well the seed of a post was born there and then……….. plus I’ve gotten nothing better to do this afternoon and boobs are fabulous!

Incidentally I don’t wish to offend anyone and because I’m a perfect gentleman I’m attempting to be both serious and sensitive at the same time and certainly don’t wish to come across as condescending, call this hopefully fun and amusing.

braless22

After watching the fascinating video where the lady gives her personal reasons for going braless I decided to do a little research of my own (science fan me) and where do you go if you want to find out a fact or two? Why the internet of course, dig deep enough and it’s surprising what you might learn!!

I Googled ‘reasons not to wear a bra’ this evening and happened across research conducted at a French University, turns out a sports Doctor named Jean-Denis Rouillon spent fifteen years studying the effect bras had on 330 women aged 18-35 then came to the earth shattering conclusion bras are useless!! A bold statement if ever there was one and as you can imagine he created one hell of a worldwide Sh**storm media frenzy!

Fifteen years is a long time to research bras and their effects on boobs, a study which concentrated on understanding ladies yearly breast changes when a bra is worn regularly against never worn and his preliminary results suggested, contrary to popular belief, when a young girl wears a bra from an early age, the bra doesn’t support the chest or reduce back pain or prevent breast sagging, in-fact ‘medically, physiologically and anatomically’ breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity………… the Professor went on to say when interviewed by French media “supported breasts get saggier over time‚ÄĚ.

Here’s a useless piece of information for you, many years ago a lady by the name of Rachel (blonde attractive and age 25) and myself were undressing in her bedroom, a casual relationship, well without being indiscreet she was a ‘big girl’ and there we were sitting on her bed together and cometh the time she reaches around her back unclipping the strap of a rather large bra holding rather large boobs, and at the same moment her underwear garment was removed her boobs dropped ‘a mile’, that was a shock and a half I can tell you…. but don’t worry I’m NOT being disrespectful or abusive, both Rachel and her boobs looked absolutely stunning, so very feminine and sucking saggy empty boobs is wonderful……. just thought you’d be interested to know!

Where was I?

Bra research!

Returning to that French sports Doctor. According to his research, young women’s breasts were firmer, ligaments stronger, more toned due to extra breast tissue all because they never wore bras, and better news was to come, women who did NOT wear a bra experienced a 7 millimetre (that’s 0.3-inch) lift in their nipples compared with the women who wore bras……… pretty compelling research and now you’re wondering as to the reasons why?

Well according to the Doctor, he claimed bras have a way of slowing down blood circulation, which therefore reduced breast tone over time so the reasons are as simple as that! Some time after a British Doctor confirmed the research stating:

‚ÄúFor younger women, not wearing a bra will lead to increased collagen production and elasticity, which improves lift in a developing breast.‚Ä̬†

Hmm, I’m wondering whether the more mature woman, who’d worn a bra all her life, could suddenly burn her bra and get away with it? Then again do having children rubbish all his data?

One note of caution, the research team did add an important caveat stating women in the French study were not a representative of the population as a whole, which seems right and fair, mind you interesting research all the same!

:/ perhaps the more mature woman should keep her bra on!

To add further weight to the no bra argument if you write why I went braless’ into YouTube’s search engine Google will ‘so I’m told’ display hundreds of videos made by hundreds of women sharing their no bra life stories similar to Collette’s…………. what was life like before YouTube?

So ladies if you’re brave enough comment as to why you wear a bra? Support? Modesty? Attracting men or women or teenage (16+) girls or boys.

Braless 2Referring to the photo opposite, in my humble opinion going braless can be classy tasteful and yes elegant. I live in the University City of Oxford, a City of ‘year on year’ eternal youth, and every day I’ll see female ladies and students go braless :/ fine by me. However I guess for any of you ladies with exposure on the mind¬† I’d agree with you braless, for obvious reasons, does attract a little more attention, but having said that if more women threw their bras in the bin then both men and women from my parent’s generation might say “what’s all the fuss about?”

So you are maybe asking “what conclusions have you drawn Andrew?” ūüôā None at all except ladies be yourselves, if you like to wear bras ‘wear’, if you prefer not to wear bras ‘don’t’, it’s all good to me………….. but I prefer the ‘don’t wear’ simply because a lady’s natural profile is more feminine flattering and beautiful.

Please comment? Hmm should I stop these ‘amusing’ types of posts and please remember I have a good heart and mean no disrespect ūüôā

© Andrew

10 Downing Street a personal view (pt2)

I Follow an American blogger (a poetess who incidentally doesn’t follow me ūüôā ) and she wouldn’t mind me saying I loved reading her most recent post, briefly the lady shared photographs of her family’s recent vacation to London, after all the terror news it’s great to hear tourists have enjoyed our great Capital City, lightened my heart ūüôā

Continued from part one………. Click Here ūüôā

 

I have a certain amount of respect for Richard Nixon, yes you did read that correctly, although I enjoy reading and discussing politics as a general rule I’m extremely careful when commenting on another Countries governance for the simple reason both a naivety and ill informed opinion could get me into a lot of hot water, especially if I’m patently wrong, however I will discuss political issues with people I respect and trust…….. such as a lady named K. from America.

ūüėÄ perhaps¬†Nixon’s photograph alongside mine affects my judgement!.

And yes for fear of repeating myself I did say I have a certain amount of respect for Nixon, yes he was a flawed paranoid man and I wouldn’t buy a used car from him but I’ve seen the superb Anthony Hopkins movie, I’ve read ‘All The Presidents Men’ several times, the Hoffman Redford movie twenty times and watched the spine tingling Nixon Frost interviews notably the “I wish to apologise to the American people!!” But you do have to give him credit for his brave China visit, a triumph of friendship and diplomacy, a message to Donald Trump politics is the art of the possible!!!………….and perhaps the success of Nixon’s visit to China is the overriding reason both superpowers have coexisted peacefully for nigh on forty years?

queen-coach
Donald, Trump and our Queen riding down the Mall together?

……. and further still I don’t remember Nixon being labelled a misogynist racist pig two appalling and disgusting character traits Trump seems to unforgivably possess when tweeting, so when he visits Britain this autumn, sits alongside the Queen in her golden carriage riding down the Mall, you can forget all talk of trade deals he just wants to parade with our Monarch and I hope he enjoys himself. (Hint of sarcasm there!)

However I’m worried he won’t be accepted with the same warm reception every other US President has received……………… I fear riots, bombings and political unrest as we’ve NEVER witnessed before…….. already the Mayor of London¬†Sadiq Khan has publically stated he won’t shake Trump’s hand, he will he’s a politician!…….. Hopefully the visit ends peacefully.

Time to continue with my Downing Street post before I have you unfollowing in droves, I’d like to suggest the photograph of Mark above remains relevant to a Britain of present day, WE two are more than just boys standing either side of a ‘bobby’ Policeman outside 10 Downing Street, the very heart of Political power, for that brief moment in time Mark and myself have a direct physical connection with the very centre of British Democracy ………the fact we are no longer permitted to walk up Downing Street is in my opinion a freedom lost, one example of how my Country has changed for the worse.

Police holding weapons is an unnerving sight in the UK and to be truthful I’m not totally comfortable with guns in open view, but times have changed so I’ll have to get used to it. If you look to the far right beyond the black and yellow striped ramp you can just about make out Prime Minister Theresa May’s official residence and the Chancellor of the Exchequers next door at No 11.

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2017 and this’ll be the closest I’d get to number 10, we walked up there!

You’ll understand after recent horrific atrocities London is now in a state of security lockdown, walking the City’s streets are a little more worrying, my discoloured childhood photograph is one small example of how Islamic terror has changed the way we British live our lives, no longer permitted to visit important places now deemed a security risk. But people adapt to troubled times, we’ll be OK, sixty years ago German bombs were raining down upon London and we survived, Democracy stood up to Nazism and won.

Each one of us understands that at any given time, God forbid a guy could drive a white van along Westminster Bridge and mount a curb into members of the public, just imagine the propaganda coup ‘IS’ would claim if a suicide bomber detonated himself outside Number 10 Downing Street, that’s why the entrance below resembles a war time fortress, gates and machine guns confront you but Wednesday last as I walked through HorseGuards along Whitehall turning into Parliament Square I witnessed peaceful demonstrations, a comforting sign Britain’s Democracy is alive and well.

Here’s a ‘Free Society’ question for you, is President Trump visiting London a great idea? Or should democracy prevail and grant Trump a State visit, he’s Tweeted he wants to ride down the Mall sitting next to the Queen in her gold carriage!

We took Obama to our hearts but Trump? Riots? Bombings? F*ck!!!! ……. being as this is my blog Post perhaps I should answer the question should President Trump visit Britain later this year? I’ve given this question a great deal of thought and I’m saddened to say perhaps put off the visit for a while, ……… my apologies America.

ūüė¶

© Andrew

Gorillaz – We Got The Power

It’s been quite a while since I last posted a favourite music post, well here’s ‘Gorillaz’ playing ‘We Got The Power’ live on ‘The Graham Norton Show’…………the best chat show on the planet bar none!

I’m an engineer by trade, a toolmaker who used to work in a foundry as an apprentice, well ‘We Got The Power’ features a large bell cast at the Whitechapel bronze foundry, alas the factory is no more having been closed a few years and incidentally they cast the United States Liberty Bell.

Two reasons for sharing, I love the song, I’m singing it to myself all day long and I think Jehnny Beth from post punk band ‘The Savages’ is gorgeous…………..such a sexy woman and fabulous singer ‚̧ . Enjoy

I don’t think I need to explain who Damon Alban and virtual band Gorillaz are and that this track is from their new album……. you already know that ūüôā

(“We Got the Power” is a song by alternative rock virtual band Gorillaz, featuring Jehnny Beth of British post-punk band Savages and backing vocals from former Oasis guitarist and songwriter Noel Gallagher and American rapper D.R.A.M., who also appears on the group’s single “Andromeda”. The song was released on 23 March 2017. It was released as the second single from their fifth studio album Humanz) courtesy of Wikipedia.

‘Helen’s Striptease’ an old story ‘polished!’

After two years of ‘writing’ on WordPress some readers may possibly be aware I have no common single theme on Blog Andrew but I’ve always published with one aim and that is if at least one person enjoys reading whether that be photographs, a silly tale or even a cookery lesson then I’m happy and certainly don’t wish for awards and recognition. (As if ūüėÄ )

Further still over the course of those two years I haven’t reblogged a previous Post which some will be thankful for! However for the first time I’m going to re publish a personal favourite in hope that people enjoy, the incident lol happened a good while ago and has been rewritten in part and this time I’ll be more truthful and say, judge me if you will, but this happened…………… anyways it’s my blog and all that so I’ll post again ūüėÄ

But beware this tale won’t be to everyone’s taste. ‚̧ ……….. and the next will be different again.Voyeur 4

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Google image…….a movie still I think?

‚ÄėWhere to begin? I’ll set the scene that’s a good place to start…………… One evening a good few years ago I was peeking through my slightly parted bedroom curtains, my body propped up against the window¬†sill gazing out across the¬†fields which lay behind the house opposite, tonight I was watching a truly spectacular thunder and lightening display, this evening I was privileged to witnessing mother nature’s awe inspiring power, raw unbridled magnificent energy, every few minutes I felt my house shake after loud claps of thunder overhead, several minutes further and my eyes would be momentarily blinded by phosphorous white lightening strikes thunderstorms so very specific to English hot summers, then finally tarmac bouncing rain quenching England of all stifling heat and humidity………….. luckily the rain would stay away for a few hours longer!!!

……….. below this display of electric lightening and bedroom rocking thunder a bright light suddenly appeared from the third story room window opposite, an angled rooftop window set against grey tiles, and a white luminance so bright it woke me from my magnificent daydream, so what vision did my focusing eyes see?

There standing before me in clear close view was the silhouette of a slim¬†auburn haired middle aged lady standing waist up behind her window sill‚Ķ‚Ķ‚Ķ. I knew her to speak to as my neighbour across the Street, a lady called Helen (not really), age 45ish attractive in a yummy mummy sort of way, I fancied her of course and she‚Äôs happily married to a lovely guy but I wouldn‚Äôt say no if she asked, I‚Äôve seen her picking up leaves in the front garden and she‚Äôs a handsome figure of a woman, a young looking sexy 45 year old, even after ‘blank’ children she still has a trim figure.

In a state of nerves and shock, my mind trying to process what the f#ck was happening over the road, I quickly ran and rummaged through a draw for my binoculars, God knows how I didn’t break my neck on the laminate flooring, then quick as a flash I regained my position and with hands shaking drew the lenses to my eyes. I can remember clearly the moment Helen’s bright window appeared, crystal clear and pin sharp, a vision so close now I could make out expressions on her face and the room within, my heart pounding catching my breath I propped my elbows on the sill and watched!!!!! I’d seen breasts down blouses before, by chance mind, but now I was a proper voyeur lol.

I‚Äôve seen and chatted to Helen many times before but seeing her tonight was a whole lot different, I assumed this was her spare room but I‚Äôve no idea it being situated above my eye line¬†and set well back behind¬†Street‚Äôs view, no one but me could see¬†Helen and¬†she was safe in the knowledge I wouldn‚Äôt be watching however I was, all very Hitchcock‚Äôs Rear Window! Well tonight for¬† 25 minutes or so she went about her homely duties, mainly carrying bundles of clothes around the room, folding sheets, putting clean washing in draws?¬†Who knows, just understand Helen was busy and I‚Äôm excited,¬†both engrossed and fascinated I watched as she’d paused time to time under the apex of this small cramped space, stopping aside the smallish square open window, blind open, visible waist up, me watching….incredible!

Each time Helen paused her domestic routine I could see she was wearing a skin tight yellow tee shirt so visibly figure hugging I made out the profile of her bosom but the height of the window meant I could see no lower. Observing her was enough and I wasn’t masturbating, she looked so lovely against this bright white light, still calm and deep in thought a side of her I’d never witnessed, a lovely lady and I fancied her AND yes I agree with you I was invading her privacy! :/

Well after a few minutes of innocent voyeurism all the more exciting because the female recipient was unaware, she paused again and did something so shocking I remember swallowing hard and the binoculars trembling, Helen suddenly pulled up her shirt from the waist moving her arms skywards stripping off the garment over her head, then she held it up to the light (not window) looked at it then folded and threw to her side, at this point I was totally stunned, gobsmacked, omg I couldn’t believe I was actually watching her undress for the first and only time in my life! Jesus a performance like this only really happens in filthy novels and artistic movies. To say I was amazed is a frigging understatement, my mind was alive, my heart was pounding, the tip of my penis quivering, the lady opposite was wearing only a pretty white bra set against her pink naked body, Helen’s gorgeous and I’m partial to naturel small breasts. 

Seconds later she reached her arms behind her back, unclipped her bra allowing the white straps to glide down her arms before again tossing the undergarment to her side, minutes ago I’d been watching the approaching soon to be thunderstorm peeking through curtains, and by pure glorious coincidence I now see an illuminated nude like painting of the lady opposite near completely naked and all with my binocular lens centred on her perfect small pert breasts, her pink skin and auburn hair. Nothing below mind but I didn’t care, tonight I was a voyeur intimately watching my neighbour Helen undress and in hindsight I’m at a loss as to why I didn’t faint or have a heart attack. Unbelievable! Incredible! Beautiful! OMFG!!!! Voyeurism is wrong but by God forbidden fruit tastes sweet.

Throughout this striptease performance I‚Äôd asked myself ‚Äėwhat‚Äôs she looking at her gaze fixed on something across the room?‚Äô She‚Äôd been alone, was it a mirror or picture¬†and I could sense Helen‚Äôs mind is distracted by something, then she startled me, she¬†stretched an arm straight up¬†in the¬†air and proceeded to move her other¬†hand below the¬†armpit gently smoothing the palm against¬†her skin, methodically caressing in circling motions a picture of concentration etched across her face.

I should I have turned away shouldn’t I? Closed the curtains and gone back to bed! You must be f&%king joking legally it’s my window sill and the view out is mine!

Of course I kept watching.

Helen¬†caressessed squeezed prodded her breasts with two fingers¬†then switching hands¬†she repeated this now obvious checking ritual beneath the other pit of her upwardly stretched arm, all the while her face a picture of serene concentration, she even held both boobs at once as if¬†pointing squirting sprays of milk at a mirror and now I‚Äôm sure she’s looking at her reflection in¬†a mirror opposite?¬†Of course by now I‚Äôd worked out what she was doing, I was witness to something very private and intimate, she was¬†examining her breasts in a time honoured womanly routine¬†her wistful calmness so beautiful it touched my soul (true), she‚Äôd been of course feeling for changes within her breasts, I hope to God there were none¬†and of course tonight I was a very VERY lucky man.

So a question to any ladies reading and judging voyeur Andrew, remember that definition, I ask if you happened to be watching a neighbour strip naked then feel squeeze examine his testicles what would you do? Close the curtains? Go to bed? Or satisfy your voyeuristic appetite? Come on be honest now, no please don’t, but I have my own idea what you’d all do, one or two would be in bed long before now and the rest would have their hand down the front of their knickers doing the things girls do, remember I’m NOT a nasty man.

So how did your late night adventure end Andrew? Well her breast examinations lasted five minutes then all of a sudden something startled her, perhaps a noise from the Street below or a sudden awareness she was in-fact standing naked in her bedroom, lights on, aside an open window because tonight was so damn hot and humid, who knows? But quick as a flash she pulled a forearm across her chest covering her breasts at the same time leaning forward forcibly pulling down the blind shut!!

Performance over I caught my breath, my heart rate lowered as I climbed into bed and most amusingly of all still holding my binoculars, I woke up next morning with them! Then I slept like a baby totally utterly exhausted and btw at no point did I masturbate myself a middle aged man can only take so much excitement in one evening. Have I ever seen her undress again? NO because I never look out of my window unless there’s lightening to watch thunder to hear, in-fact that statement is absolutely true. So consequently I’ve never seen her undress again or honestly attempted to, yes even on humid warm balmy evenings because I know for fact striptease displays, a naked woman, live breast examinations are coincidences that happen once in a guys lifetime.’

So there you are, last time I published this I questioned ‘is¬†my voyeurism a true tale or fiction? Is¬†my¬†incredibly vivid and¬†erotic memory so etched across my mind¬†only a story? I‚Äôll¬†allow the reader to¬†decide’, well the evenings events as written actually happened, judge me she certainly would, fabulous and all very Jimmy Stewart in Hitchcock’s ‘Rear Window’.

Ladies I’ll leave you with one thought, be careful what you are doing late at night in your bedroom because someone might be be watching! ūüėÄ

© Andrew

Blenheim Palace, England. (Pt2)

¬© All Photographs taken by Andrew, all Video filmed by Andrew and Narration by Andrew. ūüôā

Whilst looking back through Wednesdays photographs something rather puzzling struck me, ‘why an earth is the grass so short Andrew?’ I mean you should see my jungle of a back garden when I haven’t mown the lawn in a week, yet this Parkland resembles a golf course? All very odd must remember to Google. NOT.

As you may be aware if you ‘read’ pt1, Wednesday previous I walked around Blenheim Palace grounds taking lots of photos, incidentally that’s in Oxfordshire England. Unfortunately the video isn’t as good a quality as I’d like, never mind perhaps I should invest in a new camera or buy a new phone :/ it’s on my wish ‘list’.

So rather than ‘publish’ a part 3 blog Post here’s the remaining photographs and video (have I told you they’re all taken by me?), So if you’d like a short historical synopsis please read part 1.

(Briefly Blenheim Palace is the ancestral home of the Duke and Duchess of Marlborough built in the 1700’s with stunning ornamental grounds, and England’s Prime Minister Winston Churchill was born here.) That wasn’t tooo painful was it. ūüôā

A question for you. Have you ever visited a place you know you visited as a child but forgotten about? Well my gentle walk around Blenheim estate was one of those experiences, a beautiful summers afternoon when memories of times past filtered back into my imagination all prompted by the idyllic Parkland scenery. Like the time as a ‘Boy Scout’ I gained my Woodland and Forestry badge chain sawing trees and watching birds. Happy days and according to my nephew did you know they allow girls into the Scouts now? ūüėÄ Sounds fabulous, twelve go camping for a weekend returning with thirteen!

On another occasion I fondly remember picnicking with my parents and grandparents under a tree and my grandmother spreading out a white linen table cloth as if in her front room, picture us seven drinking tea from fine china cups (with saucers), an ‘Alice in Wonderland’ tea party laid out on a forest floor all very surreal but at the same time wonderful! :/ The only trouble is the older you get the more times you’re struck by these rather depressing deja vu.

 

A very warm July day! But Mustn’t complain this is England after all.

The following is a 4 photograph panorama. (Moving left-right)

Blenheim Palace July 2017 pan6

Blenheim Palace July 2017 pan7

Blenheim Palace July 2017 pan8

Blenheim Palace July 2017 016Blenheim Palace July 2017 pan9

Blenheim Palace July 2017 041

The lake in front of the Palace has many types of wildfowl take this swan with signet below.

Blenheim Palace July 2017 022

¬© Andrew ūüôā

 

Blenheim Palace, England. (Pt1)

¬© All Photographs taken by Andrew, all Video filmed by Andrew and Narration by Andrew. ūüôā

Just so as don’t think these are old photos out of my album, they’re taken 05/07/2017

Video taken looking down toward the Lake (not the best video camera ever but no matter!)

Blenheim Palace July 2017 026
Blenheim Palace, Oxfordshire. England. 05/07/2015

If you’ve followed my ‘blog’ for any length of time, thank you btw, you’ll know my uploads tend to be ‘all over the place’……….. low boredom threshold? Anyways no harm done, todays Post was intended to be my recent visit to Downing Street London part 2, lol it’ll have to wait! After I woke up this morning, I opened the bedroom curtains the sun was shining the sky was blue so I visited Blenheim Palace (County of Oxfordshire,) and incidentally the videos I filmed are uploaded onto YouTube.

You’re all busy people so I’ll keep the text brief, be honest when we want to find out factual and historical information we go straight to Wikipedia, so click on the link here (‘yawn’ lol bet you didn’t bother neither did I ūüėÄ )

A quick Synopsis: Blenheim Palace is the home to the Duke and Duchess of Malborough, was built early 1700’s and is a World Heritage Site, another interesting fact Winston Churchill PM was born and raised here. The Palace and Grounds are one of the largest in Great Britain and getting in the house costs ¬£24 to look inside, I didn’t, blow that for a game of soldiers!

Possibly the ONE important piece of information you need to know is the lake and bridge situated in front of the Palace are completely man made being designed by the famous landscape architect Capability Brown………. a name to remember!

Imagine Capability like this, when you all landscape your own back gardens installing a nature pond, planting flowers well Capability Brown did the same with Blenheim Palace Grounds but on a much larger scale! The panoramic landscape you are looking at in my photos was completely man made, before the Palace existed the landscape was flat agricultural farm land………interesting fact don’t you think?

Blenheim Palace July 2017 pan1
Panoramic right-left of Blenheim Palace Grounds – 1
Blenheim Palace July 2017 pan2
Panorama 2
Blenheim Palace July 2017 pan3
Panorama 3
Blenheim Palace July 2017 pan4
Panorama 4
Blenheim Palace July 2017 pan5
Panorama 5
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Blenheim Palace and Parkland map is borrowed!

Well I hope you enjoyed looking at them, there is a part 2 there’s also the Downing Street follow up ………. and there are loads more pictures and video of Blenheim.

Andrew ūüôā

 

10 Downing Street a personal view (pt1)

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Andrew (left) and my brother Mark standing outside number 10 Downing Street, London.

Remember the days when a British ‘Bobby’ didn’t have to carry an automatic weapon, in 2017 he’ll have one hand tightly gripping a gun barrel and the other trigger finger ready!!!

At the time this photo was taken Mark and I were still quite young children and if you read ‘A happy childhood’ you’ll recall my father had little time off from his chosen employment, so in place of fixed holidays my mother would take us boys on day trips instead, don’t go all tearful on me, there were no week long holidays in theme Parks or overseas sandy beaches to build sand castles on (I’m joking) but that’s ok, isn’t a happy childhood all about life experiences just as much as expensive holidays in exotic Countries?

Usually travelling by train we’d visit places of interest often educational, other days the three of us would cycle Oxfordshire’s country lanes with a picnic for lunch, all lol very Enid Blyton………. perhaps Google¬†her name the lady’s a famous writer of childhood fiction much criticised and frowned upon these days for political correctness reasons, unfairly in my opinion, I enjoyed the youngster’s scrapes and adventures in a picture book 1950’s England that never was.

I love the picture of Richard Nixon. 

Where was I? Yes, mum would take us on day trips to places of interest and this particular day we three travelled by train to London visiting attractions like Buckingham Palace, The Tower of London, incidentally the day that picture above was taken, us in our smart brown anoraks, London was a new adventure being our first time in such an historic City………..

……..and yes of course we two are standing in front of 10 Downing Street¬†the iconic home of British Prime Minister’s with a Policeman always at the door.

I say iconic because whichever Country you come from you’ll recognise that shiny black door with white lettering, and American readers will be naming their five US Presidents all standing next to PMs of their day. They are of course Presidents Nixon, Reagan, Bush Senior, Bush Junior, Obama and not forgetting our own heroic Winston Churchill PM.

To think I’m standing exactly in the foot steps of probably the most powerful man of his time, Richard Nixon! Wow, even all these years later I find my discoloured fragile photo quite awe inspiring……………….. and certainly NOT photo shopped!!!

So there you are, yet ANOTHER treasured family photograph and for those of you who’ve read the odd family post of mine you’ll be aware I’ve shared many special snapshots, incidentally my most liked and commented posts.

HOWEVER times have changed, I visited London a few weeks ago knowing the City would look very different after the many recent atrocities ūüė¶ threats of Islamic terrorism are the reason 10 Downing Street now resembles the fortress below, no longer would I be Free to wander up and stand in front of that iconic black door so my mum could take a family photograph, a UK citizen’s right now gone forever!

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Entrance to 10 Downing Street 2017

(To be continued)

© Andrew

 

Sexual Politics and childhood awakenings

Original and written by me Andrew

ūüôā My promised London terrorism Posts will have to wait, you see I read an internet News story, as you do, became distracted and started writing about something completely different instead……..anyways I enjoyed myself which is all that counts.

I’ve a question for you.¬†

Am I unique or unusual or both never seeing a photograph of a fully nude woman until child age 10? Sleepy Town upbringing and all that!

Skip forward one year. Me age @11, my brother, Paul Townsend and his older sister Helen and a nameless girl I can’t remember, are standing inside my parents garden shed and Helen says “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”…………..SECONDS later my mother who had been listening outside, flings open the door and angrily says “all of you go to your homes” ūüėÄ one minute longer I’d have seen a vagina, it would be three more years before another!……………..

(Helen and I started different schools soon after this incident!)

1 minute longer!!!! Why do I remember this story so vividly?

Hold on, don’t leave me yet that’s the tacky part over, this is a tale of first love childhood innocence and a Sex Ed. lesson I’d never forget. However my teacher left out one important ‘fact of life’, omitted something which took many years to find out, a fact that still angers me…………well it used to ūüôā

Be aware this Post is not at all creepy or sordid, possibly not every ones cup of tea but it’s all very sweet and gentle, retelling one of those milestones in life you think about time to time, possibly prompted by a story of present day sexual politics like this one….. a World gone mad?

https://www.theinfong.com/2017/06/lady-banned-pool-inappropriate-swim-suit/

Is the Manageress correct? Is the bathing suit inappropriate? Would the children be mentally scarred for life misunderstanding it’s the adults who are over reacting? Is a butt tooo big for its bathing suit harmful to young minds?

Or am I the one at fault thinking she looks fine?

(Btw I have age 8 and 10 nephews, I get it! I also see the work my brother goes through with ‘locking’ passwords!)

Back to me never having seen a full frontal nude woman…………mollycoddled and all that, no interweb!

I don’t envy parents in 2017, a 10 year old if ‘unlocked’ could show his friends all manner of sordid pictures on his iPhone, picture a group of confused bewildered babes watching acts they shouldn’t be, or images no one should see in their lifetime, and all via school playground free WIFI. You think I’m joking?

ūüėÄ Returning to me! If you’re at all curious, back in the day I never came across photographs of a woman’s vagina until age 10, honest! My first time being in a Primary School’s ‘special events’ classroom consisting of 30 immature students listening incredulously to a sex education class taught by one Miss Aspley……….lol a wonderful woman!

Decades have passed now and most of my youthful memories, good and bad are forgotten, however I do remember being first aware of a female’s sexuality at age 10 but at the same thinking her attractive more than sexual. We can all roughly date our blossoming sexual maturity milestones can’t we? I remember taking a bath one evening, looking down and seeing my first pubic hair, honestly, an image burnt into my mind then stored in my brain’s picture folder.

Good that!

I do remember one unusual observation, discussing ‘hardness’ with my friend Martin Ashby age 10 though not understanding what they actually were for! No the only real memories captured by my imagination were for a certain teacher called Miss Aspley, she stirred first feelings of attraction, a childish love perhaps brought on by a sweet smile, a dress that looked nice, her pretty face who knows? But I know I liked her!……..And incidentally a model teacher in every way.¬†

Would Miss Aspley wearing a high cut pink bathing suit have corrupted my young mind?

A child’s first intellectual relationship in formative years is with their Primary School teacher, parents not withstanding. My Miss Aspley was bright, seemed to have answers to all life’s questions reading imaginative stories at end the day, and like with us all childhood literature stays with us for life. Miss was engaging firm amusing all attractive qualities irrespective of age and certain ‘bomb shell’ facts taught by her in class come back to me, true, and incidentally my mother met her many years later at a funeral and she’d a daughter of her own, and isn’t it written as gospel children will have a crush on their first teacher, or are we talking adolescents?

Where was I, oh yes reasons to be romantically attached to that special school teacher even children in early formative years and again I ‘loved’ Miss Aspley as much as a 10 year old can ahh. I never described her did I?

“Miss” was a tall slim fresh faced lady, thirtyish (old) classically English rose in appearance always most definitely wearing below the knee skirts and always conservatively dressed. Though I can’t recall her face I know for certain she was very pretty with long flame red hair as fine and straight as is possible to get, I’ve refrained from using the word elegance that gives visions of sophistication and remember I’m only 10! Pretty fits nicely.

Returning to a young child’s knowledge of sexuality, do women with big buts walking around swimming pools really have a bad influence on their minds? Common! I cannot remember a woman’s body remotely sexualised at age 10, honestly. Are things different now? Yes the internet and dark web!

My young nephew said “ouch you kicked me in the penis” when his brother hit him down there……………….and my mother swallowed hard!

So yes pretty Miss Aspley stirred inexplicable feelings of attraction, an immature sexual awakening , a warmth of feelings plus a little bit more. Whichever lol all I know is I did like her, knitted jumpers in winter buttoned to the neck blouses in summer, nothing ever remotely revealing perhaps I was just enchanted by her appearance and femininity, as far as a 10 year olds perception goes. Why do I recall my first crush so clearly? Yes there’ll be serious infatuation’s with educational goddesses in years to come, but Miss Aspley is remembered because she’s my first love, as an aside isn’t a girl’s first crush her best friends father?

So back to those 30 mixed sex pre pubescent children sitting cross legged on a coarse itchy carpet in the headmasters ‘special events’ classroom. Curtains were drawn, lights turned off Miss Aspley standing at the back operating a slide projector. I can vaguely remember thinking there was something special about today, anticipated, 30 suspicious bemused children or perhaps I’m looking back through rose tinted spectacles? So there we all are, seated gazing up at a stand alone white screen on the opposite side of the room……waiting!

And so the slide show begins with room hushed to total silence (unusual for 10 year olds) ¬† Miss Aspley behind me narrating with her knowledgeable soft calmness, saying very little as black and white photographs passed before our eyes, dwelling longer on the reproductive diagrams AND THEN for the first time in my life I saw a photograph of a nude woman and her vagina, AN image that’s etched into my visual mind for all eternity, I see her face now yet many other Primary School memories are lost……so strange only particular photos remain for life! Neurons synapses fused visible for years to come.

Good that ūüėÄ (only joking)

The nude young lady in the slide show hadn’t a particularly appealing face, bored even, a short woman with a typically English pear shaped figure wide child bearing hips and not in the least bit sexualised. As for her breasts, large, no drama here, I’d watched my neighbour Mrs H. breastfeed daughter number three plenty of occasions! …………. And again I can’t remember female breasts being sexualised at age 10, probably because I’d viewed them as producing milk keeping her infant alive.

Back to the swimming pool, a bathing suit? Really?

Don’t prompt me for any more facts gleaned from that Sex Ed. lesson because I remember little else, apart from that is, a photo of a tall naked gentleman with beard and glasses having a mass of jet back pubic hair surrounding his penis………again no big deal, unfortunately I’d caught glimpses of my father to understand hair sprouted from that region down below, yuck!!!!!

So there you, a life changing day for me at least, a Sex Ed. lesson over very quickly, we’re imparted the basics of reproduction, diagrams depicting a tadpole’s travels from testicle to egg via insertion of the bits, a series of un-sexy black and white photographs of the naked male and female human mammal, and again for reasons of a need to know basis I cannot remember the library having ANY sex education books.

Shouldn’t all childhoods be this way, a never to be forgotten lesson, a first attraction to a female but not understanding why? I’m back to Enid Blyton literature now……………..did you Google?

All in all my sex education lasted half an hour with NO questions and very much on message narration by ‘matter of fact’ Miss Aspley, but I do remember her as humourless without a hint of embarrassment and almost definitely bored witless. A brief memorable Sex Ed. lesson with graphic content little more than a series of photos (I think!) accompanied by sketchy diagrammatic theories of reproduction, no placing rolled up condoms on the tips of bananas, a fruit chosen for length diameter and curve, giggling excited children unfurling sperm barriers by use of their mouths. I’m KIDDING!!!

So there you are that was the breadth of my sexual knowledge for years and years to come and still amuses me till this day that I no comprehension of what a vagina looked like until age 10, if you’re interested the next was age 14 and only then after purchasing that copy of MAYFAIR from a boy in the sports hall changing room…………ahh but for one minute more…….remember Helen!

How times have changed…………………..horrifically for the worse, the dark web, abuse.

STIs and masturbation came years later, but annoyingly Miss Aspley said NOT a single WORD OF MASTURBATION, I had a right to be informed my body was capable of giving intense feelings of pleasure, special, safe enjoyable healthy for mind body and spirit, yes at age 10 she should have told me, but not a single word, I’m kept in the dark for years to come. Ignorance did have harmful consequences later in life and I’m still annoyed about that, I didn’t work out ‘how to’ for many years to come and not being told is inexcusable, even Biology at Secondary School was just as bad,¬†

A personal friend Emma says “I think I worked it out for myself ” hmm why didn’t I?

We should live our lives without fear of censorship shouldn’t we, education is empowerment, knowledge gives us judgement, lets us make informed decisions, corrects mistakes.

Tell children how to masturbate and the reasons why!!! Of course now I’d go to the NHS website but back in the day? ………..Word of mouth and a 4 channel TV set.

The internet, an innocence lost…………. ūüôā I get it!

So returning to my school lesson for one final time, Miss Aspley’s unwrapped and opened her Pandora’s box, 30 children have just realised adults have been keeping them in the dark and no harm was done. Sex Ed. lesson over, lights are switched on, curtains are drawn and this slim pretty lady with flame red hair walks calmly to the front of my class, stands by the white silk screen and as God is my witness I can remember thinking………….

‘Miss take all your clothes off!’ A sexual awakening if ever there was one ūüėÄ

The End.

© Andrew.

My Fidget Pad toy, (2:2)

How time fly’s by, a few weeks ago I posted Andrew plays with himself featuring my new Amazon purchased Fidget Pad (with video), and now it’s nearing end of June already!

But not to worry here’s Part 2 and btw I’ve written something else which I’ll publish in a few days time (now in draft). Short story, I visited London last week and have a tale to tell.

A disclaimer, if you’ve read my blog before you may be relieved to know the day wasn’t about getting laid, I did have a casual liaison early June mind but that’s a whole different story! Ever heard the saying ‘there’s a first time for everything’, well when she took her bra off my eyes were drawn to two thin red lines beneath her breasts, she’d had implants hadn’t she, first time I’ve ever squeezed falsies!

My verdict? :/ Silicone is rather tooo firm for my liking, ok I guess but in my opinion natural is always best, as an aside why do women feel they have to go under the surgeons knife especially when sagging empty boobs are just as lovely ‚̧

Back to this damn Fidget Pad ūüėÄ

This’ll be a short post because I’m in two minds as to whether this over-hyped product is worth the expense,¬†Fidgets pass the time, but my advice is if you’re gonna buy a Pad or Cube keep in mind you could get just as much fidgeting enjoyment from playing with a clothes peg…………you know the one with the metal spring.

I’m perhaps being a little disingenuous, these toys are very tactile and I do find myself fiddling with the buttons switches and rotating toggles whilst doing other things such as watching YouTube videos. But as for all those bold medical claims, I’m totally unqualified to say if Fidget Toys are a comfort to those with ADHD or Autism, I do hope so and wouldn’t it be interesting to hear what parents or medical experts have to say rather than just corporate Amazon.

Posts to come soon, Andrew

 

 

We have to learn to live together

BBBZT9s
2 year old Ameer Hussein laying flowers near London Bridge

© London Evening Standard

I have to admit¬†I was¬†in two minds whether to write something after London’s Terror Attack,¬†so much has already been broadcast and written about but then I came across this photograph of 2 year old Ameer Hussein laying flowers¬†close to the scene. London Manchester and Britain¬†must heal divisions after¬†these horrendous attacks or there’s no hope is there? We have to remember Britain is a multicultural society, perhaps redress the balance with imagery,¬†fewer pictures of Counter Terrorism Police and more¬†photos reminding us¬†that in order to move on Faiths¬†have to¬†learn to live together or at least coexist peacefully.

Andrew

 

 

Andrew plays with himself

(Call this Part 1. I just filmed¬†the video AND thought why not make a start ūüôā )

Question. Do you have something you play with when you’re bored?

Of course the answer’s¬†“YES!”

Only trouble is, it’s not socially acceptable to play with¬†one’s genitals whilst sitting in the dentists waiting room is it? ūüėÄ So we’re talking phew” toys!

(Mind you¬†I have an ‘on-the-bus’ story I may share one day ūüėČ )

Ok if you¬†watched¬†MY YouTube video first you’ll have deduced I’m NOT¬†talking tales¬†of¬† pleasure, read my¬†Posts and you’ll know I’m rather¬†obsessed¬†with that,¬†no watch the video and you’ll know I’m referring tooo…….

Fidget Toys!

…..and¬†unless you’ve been living under a stone you’ll¬†know ‘Fidget Stress Toys’ are products designed by an American non profit Organisation¬†for those suffering from anxiety or¬†ADHD,¬†or just as important to Play with!

To be continued………………………

¬© Video filmed by Andrew, narrated by Andrew, uploaded on my YouTube, apologies for a rather short Post, call¬†this an Intro¬†ūüôā )

Andrew ūüôā

She played La Valse d’Amelie for me

:/ Shows how long I’ve been¬†away from WordPress,¬†a¬†lady¬†I used to Follow¬†I’ll refer to as P¬†is now a married woman! Yep 3 months ago she was a blogging single mum¬†of five children¬†then yesterday evening I read¬†her most recent Post and she’s sharing¬†photographs of her¬†new wedding, lovely pictures of a happy smiling couple holding hands exchanging wedding rings and she’s dressed in virgin white which would make her smile if she read this. Of course I wrote a sincere comment congratulating her and wishing¬†them both¬†well, truly I’m so pleased because she used to be such an unhappy blogger and seeing her¬†visibly in love¬†really brightened up my day.

Just shows life is too short to be wasting time feeling sorry for yourself (Andrew), you may have guessed the saying ‘seize the day’ came to mind, Wow!¬†lady P is¬†now married, who’d have thought!

A different blogger I still read time to time, a wise middle aged lady¬†named S once wrote something I’ve never forgotten, you know one of those memorable life quotes that stick in the mind probably because they¬†personally resonate,¬†usually¬†applicable to oneself. In fact the quote has resided in one of my Draft Posts for six months. Perhaps¬†I thought one day I’ll¬†write about¬†lady S’s thoughts, well you guessed looking at P’s wedding pictures yesterday¬†brought her saying back to mind. Shall¬†I share? Remember I’ve never forgotten:

A friend ………becomes a lover……..becomes a wife

Such a crystal clear¬†incisive piece of writing don’t you think?¬†Read¬†again and¬†the¬†sentiment therein¬†appears so logical,¬†love’s Holy Grail,¬†the secret to a long lasting blissful happiness and¬†perhaps¬†she conjures images in your own mind, people you’ve known throughout your life, opportunities relationships you may have missed out on ….or ACTED upon ūüôā .

Read¬†a second time¬†and you’ll perhaps¬†agree this lady’s¬†blogged message cannot be transposed¬†in order¬†to work, let me explain. Let us say¬†two lovers¬†become matrimonial husband and wife, HOWEVER imagine they¬†were not¬†friends to¬†begin with, will their¬†relationship last?

Transpose again. First¬†keep in mind¬†sex is a bonding mechanism throughout nature between two mammals. Now¬†our two friends¬†have become husband and wife¬†however¬†they were virgins before marriage and didn’t have sex thereafter, happens!¬†Even though a deep friendship made for a happy marriage would¬†could it fail because¬†of¬†the absence of sexual fulfilment? Especially if¬†one more than the other desperately needed intimacy? Perhaps failure is the wrong word and unhappy marriage is nearer the truth?

…… ūüėĬ†by now¬†you’ll have worked out¬†my final math life conundrum. If two friends become lovers¬†however their lustful¬†consummation didn’t blossom into marriage, if two sexually attracted friends (note could be same sex)¬†met only¬†for fabulous¬†f*cking, with no thoughts of marriage, no long term commitment, again would¬†the relationship ever last? Probably not, a relationship based purely on sex seems shallow loveless and bereft of happiness.

So lol do you now understand my preoccupation with an order that cannot be broken transposed? For a relationship to work,¬†‘a friend becomes a lover becomes a marriage’, is¬†a path you¬†must follow and theoretically the answer is you¬†discovered your soulmate.

Back to Lady’s S’s shared wisdom.

Am I wrong here? Can you understand why I’ve never forgotten this lady’s¬†prophetic words? Ok¬†her reply to my long forgotten comment is¬†a simplistic¬†phrase taken¬†from romantic paperback fiction¬†but I think she’s¬†correct and I’ll never be convinced otherwise.

I’m SO curious? What did I write¬†warranting¬†her¬†reply?

So I hear you ask what¬†has a YouTube video of a¬†young¬†lady playing Amelie on piano got to do with all¬†my nonsense? Nothing¬†ūüėĬ†except¬†I’ll tell you¬†I’ve been making a nuisance of myself¬†around YouTube, I have my own little Channel don’t you know.

Well short story I follow¬†a lady pianist because she’s both beautiful and I adore listening to her play people’s requests,¬†and because¬†La Valse d’Amelie is a favourite of mine and the talented¬†lady asks for requests, I¬†suggested this tune¬†and¬†she played it for me……..well¬†I like to imagine just for me either way¬†her piano playing video was at my suggestion¬†plus I’m a sucker for a gorgeous¬†face.

Andrew ūüôā

Re. Goals for my YouTube Channel, also blog Post

Alyssa just¬†to back up the comment I left on your YouTube Vlog¬†ūüôā here’s a¬†brief quick¬†message. Short story, I stopped ‘blogging’ (loosest sense of the¬†word) because I guess I well ran out of ideas, then¬†I¬†didn’t write¬†for a few days, which became a week, which became¬†a month, three!………………. and before¬†you know it I’d finished………..shame really ūüė¶

(This Blog Andrew was well received as in likes and comments which was nice and¬†my Posts are¬†supremely honest, much like your Vlog,¬†however I’m¬†not to be over-thought about, more airport paperback than word weighty literature……no heavy topics¬†just hopefully Posts that amuse and interest).

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X-ray of a human skull, not mine read on!

…………..and a blog Post.

Here’s a thing, perhaps I will¬†write something today, like at present I’m signed off six weeks from work because I tripped walking across Market Square, hit my head on the pavement and fractured my cheek bone in four places!!! One fracture depressed as well. But I’ll survive ūüôā

Then I was driven by ambulance to Oxford’s A and E Hospital where I spent 10hours being X-rayed, cut stitched and importantly observed because I’d suffered a blow to the head :/ I say 10hours, but that’s ok I’m NOT complaining,¬†our National Health Service is a wonderful British Institution, where if¬†required¬†you can visit and see¬†skilled Doctors and Surgeon’s, who’ll¬†assesse and treat¬†you and the care is absolutely free. But I’m afraid¬†the 10hours waiting time is synonymous with an overstretched underfunded health service but again¬†that’s ok I’m¬†happy to wait my turn¬†ūüôā

Incidentally for all you morons who voted for BREXIT, our Health Service workers namely cleaners Doctors Nurses Surgeons are employed from right across the globe……every Country under the sun…….shame on you for voting out.

That’s enough Politics ūüôā

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United Kingdom ambulance

On the bright side, there I was sitting on a bed with curtains pulled around and every fifteen minutes a nurse would ‘pop-in’ lol to check I was compos mentis and still in the land of the living……….jury’s out on¬†whether I was interesting to speak to but seriously they were lovely and all under age 25? What about that then! I ain’t no perv btw.

And I forgot to tell you¬†all three ambulance Paramedics were¬†ladies and one of them looked like she could have been a supermodel, tall slim beautiful hair tied in a bun, but seriously all caring humane professional delightful young women………and very amusing which I guess helps relax injured patients.

Photo’s of Oxford’s wonderful ‘John Radcliffe Hospital’

Joking apart the experience wasn’t fun, fracturing cheek bones ISN’T funny it’s f*cking painful and incidentally the first bones I’ve broken in my whole life, not to be advised either because whatever the writing on the¬†packet says pain killing tablets¬†don’t work!

Forgot to say I need dental work as well! All due to the fact I hit my head so hard a filling shot out! :/ Sounds expensive.

Moving forward two days I attended the John Radcliffe Hospital again as an Outpatient at¬†their ‘Oral Reconstruction Fracture Clinic’ where, huge sigh of relief, I was told by a lovely male Swiss Doctor I wouldn’t require Surgery………. God that was great News because a friend of my mums’ went into the same Hospital for Spinal Surgery and came out infected by an MRSA Hospital Superbug.

You see¬†Great Britain’s operating theatres are gripped by these f*****g drug resistant superbugs and the world’s running out of antibiotics, it’s scary to think there’s only two drugs left which work…………hope to God more are developed……Companies are working on it!

Btw I’m not being flippant, the fact we’re running out of antibiotics that work¬†could pose…..well you get the idea. China feeding them to livestock doesn’t help!

One photo the Swiss Doctor did show me on his computer monitor was the X-ray of my skull, the one taken at my visit to A and E, at one point in the consultation he looked at me with a smile and said,

“Pretty cool don’t you think?”

“YES :)” I replied gleefully, just Google they’re well impressive ūüėģ

And yes IT was!!! Only wish I could have a j-peg copy as souvenir¬†but I didn’t ask, these busy specialists have more important things to worry about than blogs lol………..still my skull’s four white fracture lines were quite impressive……………..LOL shows how ill I am!!!

DSCF7075
My blue and white stripy deckchair

So that’s enough writing for today, sun’s out and I’m going back out into¬†my garden with glass of chilled apple juice¬†to hand¬†and sit in my ‘blue and white’¬†stripy deck chair enjoying the sun’s warmth on my face, I love that……..seriously though I think I’ve been a lucky boy, my head injury could have been a lot LOT worse ūüė¶

Andrew ūüôā

Omg it’s only started raining!!!! (and btw¬†that’s not poetic license, it has!)

75 = T2 Trainspotting ………(the movie)

Finally I’ve been able to link the Trailer video hence the reblog.

tra
2017
train
1996

 

If you’re unaware¬†‘T2 Trainspotting’ was released¬†in cinemas on Sunday, then¬†you’ll not be a fan of the¬†original 1996 ‘Trainspotting’ which was of course a movie and nothing to do with trains!

Love the first and you’ll love T2

Btw I work half days On Fridays and¬†watched the film at Oxford’s Odeon¬†this afternoon, a few hours ago!

This isn’t a Movie Review just a brief message to say if you enjoyed the film in 1996 you’ll not be disappointed¬†so GO SEE AT THE CINEMA for the true movie experience, it’ll not be the same film on ‘Netflix’! And if you live outside the UK I urge you to watch, this is a time capsule showing the real UK as it¬†looks in 2017.

I’ve had a great deal of trouble trying to show¬†also link¬†the YouTube official Trailer video here¬†on my blog but¬†cannot? ūüôā¬†However the video exists so go to YouTube to watch, then read a couple of movie reviews and if you enjoy fun escapism then¬†go and see T2…….. at the Cinema ūüôā

However if you’ve no idea as to what all the fuss is about and you’ve heard there is bad language(c#nt word), one or two sex scenes, male nudity (also a¬†very sexy Bulgarian lady’s tits), drug taking and violence (fights no blood)…..there is!¬†BUT note¬†being a ‘Danny Boyle’ movie none of the above¬†adult material is¬†gratuitous¬†and¬†the film is as described………’A Dark Comedy’, the¬†sex¬†and violence will make you laugh rather than be disgusted,¬†so if you love the¬†1996 0riginal¬†then you’ll know what to¬†expect.

T2 Trainspotting is rated 18+ 

On a personal note the graphic drug taking scenes in ‘Trainspotting’ did at the time and still do make me feel rather uncomfortable, does the movie trivialise and glorify drug abuse? Hmm isn’t supposed to be! Anyways I’m giving no spoilers, the pros of filming drug taking still makes me nervous.

No matter I trust Director¬†‘Danny Boyle’s’ judgement¬†ūüôā

Film reviews are extremely personal to the writer, therefore recommendations are fraught with problems. For example I hate ‘Rambo’ because I’m lonely and depressed therefore¬†I love happy endings where the main characters are hugging and kissing and crying and living happily ever after.

You pays your money and makes your choice ūüėÄ

T2 btw isn’t a romcom.

I’ll finish now and leave you with one thought, if you loved the first you’ll love T2 if only to compare what 20 years of aging does to the human body, there’s a depressing thought! 20 years IS the special effect!

© Andrew

 

Masturbation, Facebook Twitter and Instagram, a Greek holiday tale, thoughts AND THANK YOU

thanks-lady-bug(Thank you to the 4 ladies for commenting¬†yesterday¬†ūüôā However I decided to delete the/your replies¬†basically because I wouldn’t want someone to read this :/ ‘amusing post’ with very adult themes then forward to your blog, the internet being the internet and all that, my choice, perhaps you have second thoughts also?¬†Like I said your comments were¬†ūüôā appreciated (very)¬†and¬†useful as regards¬†twitter and facebook and Instagram…….. anyways you get the idea. If a post is good enough (haha whatever that means), entertaining enough then¬†people will like,¬†the post was just for fun anyway. TY

ūüėģ ūüôā ūüėÄ ūüė¶ ūüėČ (awesome¬†for a sex blogger) ūüėõ XD¬†:/ >:D ūüė°¬† ūüėē o_O ūüė≥ ūüôĄ ūüėé ^^’ ‚̧

Btw aren’t Emojis the best invention EVER!¬†Seriously, they’re awesome add one yellow smilie¬†to a sentence and it sets your emotions alight, and the iPhone Emojis are even MORE FABULOUS!!! Did you know they’re the product of texting in olden days when a phone message had so few characters users¬†resorted to LMAO LMFAO……….

But I hate LOL, why? Is anyone actually Laughing Out Loud? My niece say lol within a spoken sentence, strange but adorable. Andrew)

Yesterday’s Post

I’m always curious as to why a blog falls silent, not because I’m nosey I’m just curious, have they gone ghost or finished forever? Especially interested if I’ve enjoyed Following. I’ve been on WP 2 years now, 2 years is a long time but¬†I do lack inspiration which is fine,¬†perhaps I ask to much of a simple free website? (I do) I may take a break. Anyways thank you for each view like and comment, you made me so happy.

If you¬†didn’t consider¬†my ‘writing¬†varied eclectic¬†and haphazardly ‘all over the place’ before this Post¬†then¬†you haven’t read this one yet.

My first and only Re blog……….. 60 Likes!

A blogging observation¬†which¬†really did catch me unawares,¬†:/ an age thing, and¬†I’m surprised it’s taken SO long for the ‘penny to drop’ when WordPress gives us the¬†sharing tools …………. yes I speak of clicking those tiny icons which send you to Twitter and Facebook! Duh so obvious.facebook-twitter-instagram-2

‘WordPress is pants¬†as regards social interaction (if you’re not very good), you have to be on Twitter!’

I didn’t write that btw, they’re not my words,¬†whoever did¬†goes top of the class and at the same time proving I’m slow on the pick up, social media adds an extra dimension to WP.

If I decide to take¬†a break I’ll continue to scroll my¬†Reader,¬†my imagination¬†requires it’s daily¬†fix of amusement and intellectual stimulation to ever walk away, I watch little TV the internet is far more fun. Here’s a thought, whoever coined the phrase ‘self abuse’ as an alternative¬†description and deranged idea masturbating is bad for you?¬†Must have been those two faced Victorians who’s¬†values Margaret Thatcher said we should¬†return back to. B#ll sh#t what values?¬†The ones¬†that¬†branded Charles Dickens a criminal, placed him in debtors prison just because he found himself on hard times, thank God for a Welfare State.

Time for adult themes, (there has to be with me, some¬†like and they’re fun to make), as always if¬†at least one person enjoys then I’m truly happy ūüôā )

Def masturbation– Stimulation of the genitals with the hand for sexual pleasure

 

“There are two kinds of people in the world, those who masturbate and those who lie!”

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Wanking! An unusual habit all those tingly sensations and waves of pleasure, I’m immature lol, playing with oneself does fascinate me, always has done, all aspects and God knows¬†why it’s scorned upon? There’s loads of¬†medical benefits and more.

I read that¬† ‘2 kinds of….’ gem in a borrowed copy of GQ Magazine and¬†for some reason it’s one of those useless pieces of information that attaches itself to a brain synapse or whatever and will never shift or disappear………… I probably¬†have all my neurological brain biology mixed up but you get the idea.

:/ Humour me, sex amuses the child in me.

Like I said I¬†won’t write a Post, yes playing with oneself is incredibly pleasurable but more importantly clinicians and psychiatrists say masturbation is good for ones general health and mental well being, that¬†idea fascinates me, you know all those pleasure giving chemicals serotonin and dopamine being released from the brain making me high, so powerful they produce orgasmic sensations men spend the rest of¬†their lives¬†trying to recapture. Being serious for a moment,¬†did you¬†know¬†masturbating flushes the¬†prostate gland of¬†stale semen (think about¬†that astounding fact for a second, could¬†fresh semen give you prettier more intelligent¬†babies?

Men¬†have¬†to Wank daily,¬†how else do¬†they rid themselves¬†of aging tadpoles, hey? AND we’re¬†knowledgably informed¬†‘unused’ ‘past the sell date¬†cum’ could be linked to prostate cancer, not forgetting ‘playing’ is the safest form of sex, no STD’s. In women masturbation can help prevent cervical infections and urinary tract infections through the process of ‚Äútenting,‚Ä̬†or the opening of the cervix that occurs as part of the arousal process. (Googled)

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So there you are, healthy for mind and good for the soul, and doesn’t send you blind¬†ūüėÄ . Here’s a tale,¬†I once knew a¬†lady who said when she was a small girl, her mother would smell her fingers and¬†‘tap’ the back of¬†her hand. True, no violence or malice, just disapproving AND that lady wasn’t scarred for life, she thought it¬†very funny.

Improved Health and Mental wellbeing, safe sex and pleasurable, seriously why do certain Christian Preachers teach children masturbation is wrong? Madness!

Serious subject pleasuring oneself, there’s a whole Series there,¬†NO.

ENOUGH!!! (I honestly hope I’ve never¬†offended anyone)

Are you bored yet?

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She’s surprisingly similar actually

Enough silliness, but masturbation thoughts are most welcome!

You’ve twisted my arm, I’ll tell you a true tale.¬†Quite a few years ago I was on holiday sitting on a sandy beach in the Greek Islands,¬†staring out across the Mediterranean Sea, a low Autumn sun shining above the horizon and practically all by myself. Short story short, my Brother and I had words, he went for a scooter ride to cool off and I sat cross legged wondering what an earth I’d done wrong?

Siblings can be together for just so long.

Then all a sudden a young lady woke me from the day dream by throwing her towel on to the sand a few metres away, quite startled me in fact, and no word of a lie I glanced up and down the beach and I can still visualize now,¬†the lady¬†was on her own¬†the beach was empty¬†and this beautiful young blonde was¬†rolling out her large towel a few metres from me……..WTF? She never said a word, never looked at me, didn’t seem aware I existed, invisible I was! Why so near me when the beach was empty?

(Remember I’m always honest, ūüôā )

At the time and all these years later all I can¬†assume¬†is this single young lady, late twenties, felt more comfortable¬†sitting¬†close¬†to another tourist rather than on her own,¬†and just enough distance to make plain we weren’t an item, safety in numbers have you will! That’s the best I can come up with :/ she wasn’t picking me up, she fancied a day on the beach but didn’t want to be all on her own. Any problem and I could have saved her. Seriously.

So she sits down on the towel¬†also looking out to sea, rummages through her bag, takes out a bottle of suntan lotion, places it beside her then starts to undress! Frigging incredible! And still she doesn’t¬†glance my direction¬†or utter a word, so strange. Cotton dress unbuttoned, that’s tossed away and unbelievably sat only metres away is a slim beautiful twenty something blonde lady wearing a skimpy two piece red bikini! Then¬†she begins to¬†smooth suntan lotion onto her arms and legs.

Passions rising!

Ten minutes ago I’m having an argument with my brother, five minutes ago I’m daydreaming looking out to sea, NOW this bikini clad lady¬†lies¬†back on her bath towel, closes her eyes, and there we both are two strangers on an empty beach,¬†silent still and enjoying the warm late autumn sun!

Note these are¬†the days before iPhones mp3 and earbuds, with nothing to occupy her mind I guess she lay¬†day dreaming¬†and my dick became hard and long, my heart was racing my breath quickening, and you’ve guessed I was¬†excited. Amazing how one loses inhibitions when aroused, you take risks, brain chemicals and sex drive blur sane judgement. So what did you do next Andrew? I did what every sexually excited male would do, I¬†silently drew my knees forward grabbed a towel¬†to cover my waist and thighs then as quiet as¬†I could¬†wiggled my bottom and pull my shorts and pants down.

And all the while she lay serenely relaxed eyes closed, not a care in the world, oblivious to this panting English Tourist sat metres away one hand under towel, holding his dick masturbating himself IMPORTANTLY all the while staring at her gorgeous near naked body,only red bra and briefs for modesty.

Still to this day I close my eyes and see this gorgeous young blonde babe as if by photograph, all I can think now is¬†surely I can’t have been THAT silent! You know breathless gulping and panting, well after a minute or so, yep that quick I came hard onto the sand between my legs, surely she heard me climax? Nope¬†at no point did she turn and look or open her eyes, ūüėÄ what if she had, clocked a tourist knocking one off staring at her breasts…………….could have been an interesting scene if my brother had come back.

I was spent and satisfied but can’t for the life remember what happened next, not a clue, I’d guess she went her way and I went mine, ok¬†not a riveting story but unusual.¬†Note I do realise these days a wanking man would be arrested and get 5 years for gross indecency, quite right to, doing disgusting acts like that in¬†full view of watching women is sexual assault, and knowingly sadistic! Yes. BUT I still consider ‘mine’ was all very innocent (first and last), if she’d looked she may have guessed¬†and at¬†worst she’d have kicked sand in my face! ūüėÄ

So have you ever masturbated outdoors? (As if anyone would answer ūüėÄ )

Facebook Twitter Instagram and your WordPress

fbtwitterQuickly returning¬†to Social Media, first off for no apparent reason I’d like to make clear I’m NOT on FB and don’t do Twitter! At my age you must be joking, never have and never will, truthfully speaking I can’t help musing there’s something a little creepy about¬†grown¬†men having a facebook account, boys yes, men no,¬†there you are just an opinion. Don’t get me wrong social media is a¬†great idea but the revolution’s passed me by…….mind you Twitter’s good if you’re famous, start a petition to get Stephen Fry back I say,¬†my sister in law is on FB, helps her unwind of an evening after¬†the kids go to bed.¬†

Oh yes where was I, thoughts of social media. For several weeks now I’ve become¬†increasingly aware the majority of bloggers¬†I Follow link their WordPress to Instagram Facebook and Twitter accounts and this has me¬†asking myself¬†why do I¬†have a WordPress? The lack of social interaction here does make me unhappy. I need to get out more, I’m a stranger to you ūüôā I need a lay!

Don’t judge me yet, I’m so pleased when ladies reply and say Hi when I comment, an erotic poetess says my comments always make her smile, she says I have a funny turn of phrase and it’s such a pleasure others appreciate my honesty. One woman even wrote me a profile for an internet dating website, lots of encouragement and tips, she said stay clear of bs and you’ll do well, but ūüė¶ of course I never did…………… she’d have been disappointed after doing all that for me. Oh well.

So Bloggers post then Tweet¬†their friends with¬†the link. Common sense! A¬†true community of friends interacting, would be nice but no that’s for the ‘kids’ and mums/moms………¬†like I said I don’t, I publish and well I’m depressing myself now ūüė¶

So are there any conclusions to be made here, no, lol you decide and please don’t ever take my posts tooo seriously, people seem to Like me

I’m WELL aware I sound ungrateful ūüė¶ , I’m NOT , NO,¬†I’ve met so many wonderful people from across the Globe¬†and yes some¬†have become ‘internet friends’, (strangers still) and¬†who recognise my rather unusual truthful honest¬†way of expressing myself,¬†and I’m extremely pleased to have yes lol interacted with you and your blog writing ūüôā I hope no ones been offended by¬†my silly little Posts or my honest comments.

Incidentally my stats say¬†someone in China has been viewing my blog ūüôā I’m so curious which post they looked at? Housing estate Walnut Tree? Autumn Leaves photo? Downton Abbey? My balls in briefs? Oxford’s ‘Gropecunt Lane? My mum’s collie?

I’ll still Follow.

That’s enough now, amazing where a couple of hours and a¬†meandering stream of consciousness takes me.

¬© Andrew ūüôā ‚̧

Renamed Post = Theresa May tells lies

(I have to admit I’m not entirely happy with this Mrs May post, uploaded last night, and but for the comments I would have removed, a little tooo jolly but it stays. The only point I’m trying to get across is our PM could be a useful bridge to the world oh and introduce Theresa if you’ve never heard of her ūüôā )

I never usually blog Politics and I’m¬†NOT going to repeat here what you can go read¬†on the internet about Mrs May, after all I pale into significance compared with the professionals,¬†so go Google British Newspapers! ūüôā But I’m at a loose end and I Follow¬†several American political bloggers so why not post one of my own.

Here goes!

Sunday is nearly over¬†and I¬†thought I’d show a few pictures of our Theresa since she’s in the American News¬†ūüėÄ . AND thankfully yes a¬†chemistry existed¬†between her and Trump but don’t worry Theresa was just playing politics, being nice and all,¬†she’ll never be his lap pussy and note could be good counsel when he’s off Twitter.

Mrs May is¬†a¬†shrewd bright no nonsense talking daughter of a clergyman with sound moral judgement, so please give her a break Britain’s Press hopefully she’ll be a brake on Trump lunacy, they liked each other so calm down!

Unlike Trump,¬†May is¬†University educated having studied at St. John’s College, Oxford¬†(which incidentally I walk past everyday on the way to work) and as you’ll guess I’m a big fan of our new PM she’s a breath of fresh air after that wanker showman David Cameron (BREXIT is his fault alone c##t) and¬†never forget¬†Theresa spent six years as Home Secretary coping with weekly (daily) minefields of riots, prison breakouts, police shootings of black teenagers………and yes the Police Federation so good at standing in the¬†way of countless Home Secretaries over the years, they deserved a telling off!……..just watch this, Theresa as she reads Police the riot act.

Impressive ūüôā

AND I do like this very telling photograph below (1000 words and all that!), Trump’s re-telling an anecdote, cracking¬†a joke and she’s well just letting it pass. (BTW I’m NOT anti American I loved Obama such a graceful intelligent man.

 

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Theresa just letting it roll!

 

A few pictures, hasn’t she a great sense of style. (I wouldn’t say no!)

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I think she’s fab! ūüėÄ

 

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He likes her, but beware she’s streetwise!

 

(All very tongue in cheek)

¬© Andrew ūüôā

 

‘Ordinary People’ – (Director Robert Redford)

(Even before the sad death of Mary Tyler Moore I was going to write this post.)

Movie: Ordinary People. ¬† ¬† ¬†8/10 IMDb ¬† ¬† ¬†93% Rotten Tomatoes (pretty good ratings ūüôā )

Director: (the) Robert Redford.

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Mother and son, Beth and Conrad

This isn’t a movie revue as such, call this personal observations ‘blank’,¬†I nearly set private but this is wordpress, a place where you can say as you wish so all’s well. Some will disagree with my mental health tag, ūüôā but no matter.

I’m bored watching footie tonight hence this began a lengthy reply WHICH later became a post and no I haven’t seen or read Girl Interrupted but I’m going to Google and find out more straight after this, ūüôā I have a good feeling.

Blank, ¬†I was secretly rather hoping you hadn’t watched ‘Ordinary People’ so I could write ūüėÄ , remember how I previously said sad films are a magnate to unhappy people well this film fits into that catagory perfectly, basically it’s perfecr for (blank) lol, not that I’m hinting but you get the gist!!! ¬†Briefly in this family drama there’s a hospitalised failed suicide attempt, a suicide which triggers a vulnerable young man who but for his amazing therapist would have perhaps did (omitted spoiler)……… but hold on ‘OP‘ is full of positives and certainly not a movie that’ll upset and like all great movies is based on an original novel by¬†Judith Guest.

Difficult themes yet rewarding.

You’re possibly tooo young to have heard of Mary Tyler Moore¬†and to answer your question her character Beth is BPD in some traits but as I said the death of her son brought a type of psychosis to the fore, some readers may disagree, whichever, grief bound she’s in need of therapy WHICH the film suggests would could have helped! Either way Beth is mentally unstable, on the cusp of a nervous breakdown and emotionally repressed but her only sin is trying to keep her ‘sh#t together’…….. sound familiar? Like all of Us!

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Berger (Therapist) and Conrad

Basically this could be a movie right up our Streets so to speak! Only joking, well me anyway, but seriously I have a guess the sessions between Beth’s¬†son Conrad and his therapist appeal because Berger¬†manages to help Conrad¬†understand why he feels so guilty for his part in his brother’s tragic death several years earlier.

Recommending a movie to someone is deeply problematic because for so many reasons favourites are personal to oneself, I have no idea as to your tastes but you being younger than I……..I’d guess…….. well I’m not going to sumise for fear of making a fool of myself. Yes ‘OP’ is a little dated now but I would say give it a go, the tale although harrowing is intelligent,¬†difficult but at the same time rewarding. Spoiler alert, thankfully no sex!

And Elizabeth is adorable as the sweet girlfriend and important to Conrad’s¬†story.

¬© Andrew ūüôā

Strung tighter than a fiddler’s bow

One of my top ten favourite movies, makes me cry and that’s no easy feat.

Mary Tyler Moore died this week, now I’m not old enough to remember her portrayal of all American moms in 1960s television sitcoms but I do know her characters were usually amusing lovable housewives, ‘cute cookies’ have you will and always exuding a strong sexy appeal to satisfy the dads watching, you just knew her characters could cook delicious meals and be a filthy sex goddess in the bedroom, in the nicest possible way ūüôā

Then in 1981 Mary surprised the viewing public by playing the character of Beth in Robert Redford’s ‘Ordinary People’ (a family drama which I may write about). The film was awarded 4 Oscars that year but shamefully Mary didn’t win, OK shamefully is a little ott but anyone who’s seen ‘Ordinary People’¬†will tell you she stole the movie with a magnificent character performance.

Remember I titled my post¬†Strung tighter than a fiddlers bow? Well¬†if you’ve seen ‘Ordinary¬†People’ you’ll know I’m referring to Beth¬†a berieved mentally unstable mother on the verge of a nervous breakdown. At the time¬†Mary’s good clean wholesome image was chalk and cheese to Beth’s various personality disorders, I guess the measure of Mary as an actress is that she gave a masterful performance of two women who couldn’t be more dissimilar, hence most people of the time were of the opinion Mary was robbed of her Oscar………. without googling I wonder who one best supporting actress that year?

I recommend you watch, and by the way I saw this years¬†La La Land’, what an earth is with all the hype and awards? I hated it! ūüėÄ

¬© Andrew ūüôā

YouTube ‘tip’ and my week

woman-with-hot-water-bottleIt’s late evening in the UK and I’m sooon off to bed so this’ll be a quick post, my hot water bottle’s been there half an hour already :/ hmm can’t help thinking a woman would be nicer. God I must be getting old talking of hot water bottles!

Read the Title you’ll see I’ve written ‘my week’, all very ambiguous I know, what I really mean to say is I’d love to write and upload more during the week but I work Longgggg hours (ahhh) also¬†endure tedious bus rides¬†in slow moving Oxford City traffic and by the time I get home, make tea, wash up, read some blog posts,¬†perhaps masturbate! By the time all that’s done I’m worn out!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m blessed and grateful to be in regular paid work.

Then it’s up to bed and¬†ridiculously I¬†repeat the same routine next day and the next! Madness lol, if a Martian landed on earth and witnessed the¬†ridiculous things humans¬†get up to¬†he’d jump back in his spaceship and clear off home, (I know a lame lame anecdote but it’s late.)

Long and short, I’d like to post more, but there doesn’t seem¬†to be the¬†time.

Now to YouTube.

I also referred to YouTube in the post Title. Those of you who’ve read¬†the odd¬†post of mine will know time to time I¬†include a YouTube video,¬†btw I know of another blogger who does the same. Now I’m not someone to give advice but YouTube is a very useful media tool and¬†ISN’T¬†only¬†for wasting one’s life watching people do stupid things!

Here’s a fact for you, my videos get zero views, yes you read correctly lol absolutely no one watches my videos and that’s the way I like it, however¬†my Channel has more productive positives uses, I use it to show videos¬†on my¬†blog,¬†whether the How To Bake A Cake Series, Gropecunt Lane, Photos from around my Town, Local Countryside, YouTube seems to accompany WordPress beautifully.

Useful tip?

So lol my advice (and this is the first and only occasion I’ll offer advice, after all I’m in no position). Perhaps begin a YouTube Channel of your own and for your viewing only.¬†Sign up, get¬†a Channel then walk away and completely forget about it. Yep you read right don’t even go back there until the day you’ve filmed a¬†short video on your camera, then upload onto your Channel¬†and post the video link onto your blog (If you want to, goes without saying!!!) Easy as! Then¬†forget about¬†the Channel again and¬†be happy no one watches except¬†via your blog or videos for the family.

Useful tip? Not for everyone after all most of bloggers are writers, but making videos via your camera can be fun.

You now have your own YouTube to be used how it was originally intended and designed to be used. Note.¬†Remember you cannot upload video straight onto WP unless you pay. And I’m not going to pay for a domain!

Anyways here’s another one of my videos, a while ago I¬†filmed (mpeg off digital camera)¬†a whole Series instructing the viewer how to make a toy garage for model cars out of wood. Incidentally the garage in the video I gave to my young nephews for Christmas, aren’t I a great Uncle ūüėÄ

¬© Andrew ūüôā

A quick message for Hester

(To begin with thank you to those who newly Followed my blog¬†after reading yesterday evening’s post, your likes¬†are¬†really¬†appreciated ūüôā and consequently I am now Following two new blogs¬†but for personal reasons I’d like to say little more except¬†to say I loved reading the ‘Friendships & Loneliness’ post last night before bed, thank you. I should warn you new Followers my WordPress has no one specific theme, in fact sometimes I feel out of my depth here compared to some of the Fabulous blogs I Follow and read with a passion, a very productive lunch hour at work I can tell you but don’t expect tooo much from me please, I’m very¬† honest and true to myself consequently they’re not to every ones taste ūüėÄ Yesterday evening wasn’t a happy place for me as you may have read last night, I shouldn’t apologise should I, but writing helped and I guess I’ve given you all a great Movie recommendation, beats the run of the mill Movie Revues.)

Hester thank you for such an interesting and intriguing comment to that post, yes our connection though tenuous lol was a neat touch point! (More ways than one though, my Great Grandfather having fought Dutch Boers in the 1898-1902 Boer War!!!)

Enough of War ūüôā

Three photographs for you Hester. Having completed my first year as a newly apprenticed Toolmaker here are a selection of the tools I made throughout that year and every item crafted by my very own hands, everything on the table¬†made by me¬†and I’m rather proud of¬†every item¬†even if I say it myself, and why not lol I’m not that skilled at anything else! Incidentally¬†I still use many¬†of them¬†today at my present place of work.

Below I’ve included a second set of photographs taken of the Factory I was apprenticed to and a Company I’m truly grateful to, they paid me a living¬†wage and taught me a Skilled Trade, it’s only now all these years later that I realise¬†I was a very lucky lad indeed! Incidentally the factory is no more, an American Company bought the then owners out and closed that old Plant¬†several years later……….all those wonderful 1940’s buildings have disappeared flattened and in its place are luxury penthouse flats! I was going to swear but you’re a lady and what’s the point?

That wonderful factory employed hundreds of workers, kept a local communities shops and businesses alive, trained young men and women a skilled trade, helped UK’s balance of payments and manufactured armaments during the second world war. Yes they made¬†war weapons¬†from bomb and bullet casings through to casting hand grenades in the iron foundry. I’m afraid I’m very VERY bitter about the factory being closed, I’d moved on to the University by that point, but I still cried¬†the day I wandered along the canal tow path only to¬†witness those lovely buildings being demolished to rubble, such happy memories, such fabulous workmates.

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A few more pictures of W Lucy & Co. Ltd. taken before closure.

That’s progress for you!

It’s funny when I write something I never have an idea how it’ll be taken, so thank you for the comment and a blog connection with someone residing in¬†a far away Country, Africa no less, is fabulous. I used to worry with my previous blog after uploading but now I ‘publish’ and see what happens, I guess we’re all a little like that. Incidentally the company I used to be apprenticed to manufactured electrical substation switchgear and exported ring mains to South Africa. As you know I now work for a¬†blank mainly associated with research groups also the¬†odd¬†day supervising lol pretty 18= females, hard life¬†ūüėȬ†But seriously I did love my apprentice days, out of interest could you be a little more specific with at least one example of a manual you’ve written¬†because I’m quite fascinated, or perhaps you’d rather not this being a public website.

¬© Andrew ūüôā

Movie Night, and a rather odd review

Personal with adult themes. Not for everyone.

One of life’s unfathomable questions for you, think of a Movie! Then ask yourselves why do some people hate everything about that Movie yet others love¬†the tale¬†with a passion perhaps even rating it¬†as their favourite of all time, or let’s say of that particular moment, interesting conundrum don’t you think? A Hollywood Producers Holy Grail.

Tonight being Saturday evening I had intended to walk the half mile into Town and watch ‘La La Land’ now playing at my local cinema, apparently this Movie is billed as a future classic, a throwback to musicals of an earlier era such as¬†Singing In The Rain’,¬†I was going to watch but ultimately didn’t!

Right now I’m tooo tired to summon up the words to honestly describe how dejected and sorry for myself I’m feeling,¬†so as sometimes happens on my blog, a dictionary definition will suffice:

Anxiety – definition – ‘a feeling of worry, nervousness, apprehension, agitation foreboding,¬†unease as regards something with an uncertain outcome’, life!¬†Couldn’t have described the debilitating affects of AvPD any better.

There’s an American Statute named ‘Pursuit of Happiness’, such a strange phrase?

Lazy to cut and paste¬†from Google I know (at least I’m honest), but I ask could you¬†dream up¬†a better answer¬†describing how I feel all or most of the time? All I’ve ever wished in life is to have¬†something my brother has¬†remembering¬†I haven’t¬†an ounce of jealousy in my being, a wife would be nice, simple as, I’d love to have met a woman similar to¬†Jayne, a wonderful mother, homemaker, who’s witty charming, she crafts and sows, is¬†beautiful¬†and going by the contents of her underwear draw I have a guess she’s spectacular in bed (don’t ask how I know long story)…………true love is a gift¬†hookers can never give, ahh but do I¬†visit hookers lol? Women make you happy don’t they? Or as one lady blogger once¬†replied to me, ‘Andrew honey be careful what you wish for’.

Anyways this isn’t a post about escorts or my lovely¬†sister-in-law! (Not a Saint mind lol, no one’s that perfect, the lady can be moody………..and if she ever reads this remember you’re in my Will honey.)

Returning to earlier this evening, I had something to eat, dressed myself in warm coat hat and scarf in preparation for tonight’s freezing temperatures, I stood in my hallway about to open my front door into a cold dark winter’s night then anxiety hit me and all anticipation of happy times disappeared, I asked¬†myself ‘what really is the point going to watch a sweet happy Film on my own? ‘La La Land’ is a Movie¬†for young lovers, retired couples, married parents who’ve left their little ones with a baby sitter all for a deserved relaxing evening out, why go?’…………¬†why¬†would a single middle aged guy feeling rather anxious¬†melancholy and dejected really need to be amongst happy laughing¬†people,¬†endure such hellish tortuous solitude? So I didn’t bother. Anxiety as often does got the better of me tonight, a feeling of ‘what an earth is the f#cking point’¬†consumed my mind, and all cheerful spirit disappeared, and yes I was even a little tearful as I undressed myself, a panic attack? No. ………… I will watch ‘La La Land’ but some other day, perhaps next week after work in Oxford………….. Loneliness is a disease, solitude fuels depression,¬†I give up, why¬†convince myself I’m enjoying¬†a Movie¬†which has to be viewed sitting next to the person you love? A rhetorical question there is no answer.

All wasn’t lost though, I belong to Lovefilm, you know the ‘club’, you pay a subscription to Amazon and in return they’ll post two DVDs to your home, newly released Movies of your internet choosing to watch on your own, and just so happens one of my two selections was a French Film named ‘I’ve Loved You So Long’. A Movie¬†touching on¬†themes of suicide depression murder sadness and family heartache yet which possesses¬†a wonderful¬†uplifting ending, warms the¬†coldest hearts ūüôā and¬†in my opinion is a masterpiece of a Film, a real weepy so have a box of tissues ready to hand, you’ll NEVER suspect she actually did that!

So I curl up on my sofa with a glass of fresh apple juice, then after two hours of viewing this wonderful¬†tale the Film ends, the credits role, and¬†my brief moment of enjoyment leaves as quickly as it came and I’m left on my own again, a kiss and a cuddle would be nice lol. But as they say tomorrow will be¬†a new day, happiness is a life choice, so I must try to make tomorrow a happy day.

Sad Films are a magnet for unhappy people

Don’t get me wrong though, as bad a movie review as tonight’s post suggests, ‘I’ve Loved You So Long’ is a true classic, intelligent, original¬†with a tour de force performance from Kristen Scott Thomas and¬†her all French cast. Please watch.

I know feeling sorry for oneself isn’t a pretty sight, quite childish actually ūüė¶

¬© Andrew ūüôā

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Toolmaker

You’ll be relieved there’s no pictures of my ‘bum’ tonight, I’m¬†going to see ‘La La Land’,¬†been so looking forward to watching that movie.

Yesterday evening¬†I was¬†very excited, I went to bed expecting snow only to open my bedroom curtains¬†next morning and¬†wouldn’t you believe it¬†NOT one single snowflake¬†had fallen¬†last night, consequently¬†I’m a little brassed off today all because¬†the UK¬†was promised plummeting temperatures¬†accompanied by inches of¬†deep white virgin snow¬†(I exaggerate). So much so soldiers and military vehicles had been put on stand¬†by (true), but no not one snowflake fell and I had my camera ready spare batteries charged! And I had this silly little blog all set to share photos of snow covered fields and white Cotswold stone Churches.¬†But alas this morning¬†I opened my bedroom curtains,¬†gazed out the window¬†only to be confronted¬†by my same¬†old boring suburban housing estate. Ahh well tis only mid January and it always snows on my birthday.

People¬†have written¬†they enjoy my photographic posts, so when Oxford gets snow¬†whether you like¬†it or not I guarantee they’ll be snow scenes galore!

I’m NOT going to write about blogging tonight¬†because that’s boring, except to say¬†I Follow many talented people here on WordPress, by talented I mean they¬†can create with their hands, I love the blogs where people draw with pencil and¬†paint on canvas so much so if they were for sale and¬†I could afford to buy, I’d perhaps ask to purchase one¬†from them.

Then I got to thinking ‘what about myself?’ in what ways am I Andrew creative? I cannot paint or write poetry and to be honest I wing it here as a blogger but people have liked which has been an absolute¬†joy, so all’s good with the world only wish I was having sex at present.

No I’m happy to admit I’m possibly the least creative person alive¬†but even if I say it myself I am reasonably good at making things with my hands and I’m not showing off! No I cannot paint but I am creative in another sense, ever since a very young man¬†I’ve been employed as an engineering Toolmaker, don’t yawn lol I understand manufacturing things from metal isn’t¬†most people’s¬†idea¬†of being creative but¬†no matter because I’m going to tell you anyway!¬†At age sixteen I served a four year apprenticeship living near¬†penniless on very¬†meagre wages, however I should not¬†be disingenuous because the factory I was employed by taught me a trade which has served me well over the past X amount of years, and fingers crossed a trade which will see me earning¬†into retirement¬†because here in the UK¬†we have¬†a shortage of skilled labour…….so yes I am a very lucky man.

And I enjoy my job, I look forward to going to work of a morning, blessed I work alongside great colleagues and spend many glorious hours with highly intelligent University graduates all eager to learn and hopefully attain themselves a good degree which will serve them well in years to come. Yes I adore the fair sex but both boys and girls are a delight to work with, their eagerness and ambition is a joy to behold and infectious to jaded middle aged men, like all young people they have a huge appetite for life and a University Degree could should and will open any door they wish to open.

I’m not showing off neither conceited, my job can be boring but on the upside I do get to work with¬†many lovely young ladies, sweet beautiful creatures with bubbly¬†personalities who but for¬†our Department I¬†would never come into contact with in my personal life, and by god aren’t they ladies attractive¬†(note over age 18), even better come summertime¬†they’ll be¬†wearing short skirts and tight tee shirts! Now hold on before you judge me, I’m a responsible gentleman both respectful and professional but there’s no harm admitting charming beautiful young women are a delight to¬†tenuously be around¬†and they know I’m a soft touch when¬†asked for help,¬†(no word of a lie¬†women are ruthless when they want something lol),¬†smile sweetly and I’ll do whatever¬†she asks, play the little girl lol and she’ll have me wound round her little finger! I will admit once in a while I’ll have to visit the bathroom for a quick masturbate, but don’t all men ‘knock one off the wrist’ thinking about the women they work with?

Don’t they?

Anyways enough of my wittering and before I get myself into trouble talking of legs and¬†bras wanking and boobs¬†(at least I’m honest we’re all the same, we all appreciate beauty), I’d better return¬†to my working ability using my hands! I know most¬†readers will find the following photographs very VERY boring but I’m going to upload anyway because I haven’t seen them in an age, and some of you will know I use my blog as a journal¬†for old personal photographs saved from desk draws and albums under beds.

Briefly I’m a toolmaker by trade (I know who cares ūüėÄ ), which basically means when given a block of metal¬†also drawings and assorted machine tools¬†then I can manufacture virtually anything you wish, and when you for example¬†buy a plastic kettle, rather boringly some guy or girl in a factory will have made the tool¬†which¬†once had¬†plastic poured into it!

Btw a kitchen Kettle was an example.

So here are a selection of photo’s taken of press tools made by my own hands……….not very creative and somewhat¬†boring I know but¬†I am¬†rather proud of them…….. call this a post for me ūüôā

Four photos of an engineering Press Tool used for producing sheet steel components.

Andrew ūüôā

Swimmer Syndrome in Puppies? (Reblog)

This heart warming story brightened up my day and I had to reblog.

The Diary Of A Celibate

I know I know‚Ķ It has been ages since I even had a look at wordpress though I have a good excuse ūüôā hehe. Have any of you ever heard of swimmer syndrome in puppies? I honestly have never!! My dog recently had a litter of 9 and I thought everything was going perfectly and smoothly however, a month down the line, the runt of the litter still could not walk. You would hear him crying all night trying to move 1 foot in order to feed. I literally had a baby of my own! Waking up 5-10 times in the night to help this poor pup! I put it down to he‚Äôs the runt! He is weak, frail and just needs a little push.

A week later, I noticed that he was dragging himself across the ground. Legs spread out on either side like this:

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It looks painful right?…

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Tablet camera test (MALE NUDITY!)

ūüėĬ†Now hold on and listen before you get your knickers all in a twist,¬†and yes¬†that’s me¬†gazing out my bedroom window, but please read on¬†and give me a chance to explain why I¬†think showing¬†these pictures¬†is¬†fine and reasonable.

I’m an exhibitionist at heart, not the best looking bloke in the world however here’s a thing, undressing naked¬†in front of women I haven’t known long doesn’t worry me in the slightest,¬†and as for¬†my selfies? Yes I’ll admit they’re staged, but¬†I do gaze out my bedroom window once in a blue moon, I’m not adverse to watching a thunder and lightening display or snow flakes passing my window on a cold winter’s night. (When we get some I’ll post pictures).

Where was I? Oh yes my naked selfies or the part where I make¬†a case for not being¬†unusual or odd, I wouldn’t argue though!¬†Short and sweet, I took the pictures because¬†I have a brand new Samsung¬†tablet (true) and wanted to test the¬†camera’s image quality,¬†a lame answer I know, but¬†I do have a new android tablet ūüôā .

A little about my previous blog, many MANY months ago I would participate in a¬†photographic blog¬†meme?¬†by the name of¬†Sinful Sunday, and if pushed I’d call¬†our photographs¬†a sexier interpretation of WordPress’s Daily Prompt. Anyone could take part and here’s how,¬†briefly every Wednesday¬†a lady called Molly would¬†suggest a themed word,¬†then the following Sunday we’d all submit artistic tasteful naked photos (selfies) which¬†were a theme of her¬†word. Molly on the Sunday would¬†post the 40 or so entries on her blog (with blog links) and¬†choose¬†her winner! (I won just the once¬†but there was NO prize…………….prizes create competition envy and disappointment.)

So here’s a question am I worried¬†my pictures¬†could become a meme and go viral?¬†I really can’t see that happening! More importantly¬†if you’ve read the WordPress guidelines?¬†Have you? If you¬†have read you’ll know to WordPress’s credit, they allow explicitly written stories for adults to write if they wish, also allow¬†consenting adults to be risqu√© if they wish and that’s fantastic, so¬†if mine go viral,¬†…..it’ll be interesting if nothing else. Lol quite a nice ass for my age don’t you think?¬†ūüôā apparently a guys cheek muscles recede with age, consequently leaving him with a bony ass………so they say, sue me lol, I first read of that fact in an English Newspaper accompanied by a photo of Ronnie Wood.

Anyways¬†participating in¬†Molly’s photographic blog was fun for a while, also¬†everyone¬†posted within¬†WP¬†guidelines namely¬†NO sexual acts, NO genitals and¬†all entrants had to be over age 18. And if someone for example had submitted outside¬†her written guidelines and rules,¬†Molly was within her rights¬†to report to WordPress and quite rightly so!

Recalling all those months¬†back, I did kind of look forward to Sunday mornings and see my entry,¬†just as importantly¬†view¬†other people’s interpretations¬†of¬†Molly’s word prompt,¬†so you may ask,¬†how far did everyone go? Honestly, nothing more than ‘boobs and ass’, they could be black and white , colour,¬†pictured out in the countryside (not me), or artistic poses in the bathroom, basically where ever¬†your imagination would take¬†you……..and as we all know blogging attracts skilled writers and intelligent readers, well put it this way participants were in truth¬†middle aged, mature, with¬†body’s having seen better days.

Here is a fact for you, 95% of Sinful Sunday picture bloggers were in fact women and I remember questioning myself is a guy¬†taking his clothes off¬†any different to a nude lady?¬†Are we dictated to by¬†double standards? A¬†world where a lady showing her boobs is more socially and morally acceptable than a naked guy? Personally speaking I’ve never taken a dick picture in my life, nor would I, forwarding dick pictures seems so sad and I have to ask what is the point,¬†dicks look horrible and wrinkly anyway!

So here’s an updated photo of Molly’s prompt called RAIN…….I’ve Titled¬†‘Watching Rain’ (even though I’m not).

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Watching Rain?

I’ve seen worse asses¬†but I won’t be taking part again, and I promise this’ll be a first and last naked picture you’ll see of¬†me on Blog Andrew. ūüôā

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For some reason my bedroom tinged blue? Oh and I love my lamp from Amazon

These nine photographs below are taken¬†by a 10 second repeat timer and yes I love my new tablet. Finally if they made you smile I’m happy if your disgusted that’s fine……and a wtf will probably be nearer the mark,¬†:/ perhaps I am insecure at heart and just enjoyed the attention?

¬© Andrew ūüôā

My final 2016 post 60 on Blog Andrew

An hour ago I uploaded a very personal and password protected post with a lady and myself in mind, the theme is depression so not a very :/ festive nor Happy New Year subject is it? Anyways the password will have to be sought but note adult themes, I know ūüôā I know¬†ūüôā¬† I know ūüôā now isn’t the time or date to publish such a post but I desperately wanted it on my blog before 2017 begins, but knowing the sort of silliness and photos my Followers¬†enjoy it’s probably not their ‘cup of tea’ which is ok,¬†but she¬†was helpful. Sorry for being vague and drama Queenish but I wanted it on my blog. TY . God I hope next year is a good one in so many ways.

Andrew¬† ūüôā

Depression spring 2016, (adult themes )

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This caught my eye! (Google image)

My FINAL post of 2016, one to look back on because next year will be a new beginning and a time to move on and see where 2017 takes me.

Ok ūüôā I¬†understand talk of Depression and Mental illness isn’t an attractive subject to blog about which could be sympathetically answered from me¬†thus,¬†I’ve shied away from personal posts preferring to hopefully entertain, my take on blogging is¬†do¬†‘we’ really need¬†other peoples¬†negativity in¬†our own lives? Do¬†‘you’ need¬†me draining¬†your spirit humour and energy from¬†the cheery¬†blogger¬†who just this minute sat down then¬†scrolled their Reader¬†hoping to be ‘entertained’¬†by my rather eclectic posts?

Of course you don’t but hold on perhaps I’m assuming too much, we’re told by mental health professionals that 1 in 4 of us at some point in our lives will suffer from mental illness, anyways like it or not sharing my following true story¬†is meant as a thank you to a lovely lady, I’ll call her¬†I. and yes I hope to convey a positive message, not because suicide is any subject to be taken lightly, no I consider¬†the reply email from lady blogger I. uplifting.

First my message to lady I.

‘I promised to write I. and keeping one’s word is good manners when you yourself¬†give of so selflessly, so¬†please bare in mind I’m not showing off and¬†as always what I have to say is honestly written……..God don’t I half go on!!!!

I have a worry connected to a¬†theme you’ve addressed in an earlier post, I have worries writing¬†about a past attempt to harm myself, and the ‘why’ is because it’s a known fact revealing detail does and can trigger copycat behaviour amongst mentally vulnerable people, hence I’ve given little detail. However I’m still a little concerned, you are¬†a beautiful soul both inside and out, just remember I’m ok and haven’t the nerve to go through with anything anyway, and neither do I wish to emotionally drain you with my self indulgence, which¬†you’ve intimated has happened in the past. But I have a guess you enjoy if that’s the right word, by reading your comments you seem to find¬†listening and interacting quite¬†therapeutic probably because you are¬†both skilled and knowledgeable when confronted with other peoples mental problems……let’s qualify that remark with ‘other people’s tales’……..you’d make a good agony Aunt plus you’ve¬†a wicked sense of humour and brilliant turn of phrase.

But don’t feel you have to reply, all’s good, this afternoon’s been¬†nice to talk and I’m feeling very relaxed right now.

So you’ll guess I once attempted to end my life, happened in Spring this year and I obviously didn’t, either through weakness or whatever I couldn’t and¬†ultimately a Police intervention stopped me carrying¬†out¬†my wicked selfish act, however consequences of that afternoon’s events¬†meant¬†enduring a¬†series of compulsory interviews¬†sat opposite an NHS psychiatrist all because I was deemed at risk. Then later I had to sit through harsh words¬†from my GP……..and what annoys me still to this day,¬†by talking confidentially with a mental health professional, giving completely of myself in detail, revealing my naked soul and darkest secrets is all very good, but then¬†‘he’¬†went and told my GP every single sordid detail! There¬†I was weeks later in my doctors consulting room, him¬†reading¬†transcripts word for word verbatim of what I’d said, embarrassing if nothing else, and not being told I’d been¬†previously recorded¬†was wrong, and has put¬†me off from ever talking to a health professional ever again!

(Next year this will change.)

There you are, my GP’s a decent guy but I must admit this experience has stopped me¬†from ever bringing this subject up again with anyone, which is both frustrating and very depressing. I can see why mental health professionals are careful, why they follow guidelines and strict procedures but if you can’t speak confidentially with a ‘shrink’ then what an earth is the point? So consequently I’ve learnt being candid with a stranger can have horrendous consequences and ramifications, then what happens¬†if I’m Sectioned like my father was still a young man suffering from depression.

Anyways back to me and living with the consequences of what turned out to be reckless honesty. Ok let’s say it happened again and¬†at worst I’m sectioned into a hospital, what then when I return to work?

I.¬†I have the feeling living on my own is at the heart of my emotional problems and depression (this hurts saying). I must admit the older and wiser I get, also the relationship problems I observe in others and that¬†well worn saying,¬†‘Women! You can’t live with them you can’t live without them (applies to men also)’ rings truer and truer, can two people live happy every after? I guess the upside to living with someone is sex which I miss, the downside is rows and arguments, I know a lady who nags at her husband¬†to the point ‘lol’¬†I feel like saying “for f#cks sake woman give the guy a break!!” Trouble is¬†I quite like¬†my balls so I’ll keep my mouth shut, but BUT hold on! I’d take¬†a relationship with all its pitfalls any day, a long story is why not………just say ahh!!

My past sex life and don’t judge too harshly,¬†<personal> were fun, yes I visited beautiful 20 something¬†<personal> who doted on me, but to be completely honest I came away feeling¬†a chat¬†with her would have been more fun, a kiss cuddle and sharing a cup of tea would have been more¬†emotionally rewarding, physically fulfilling¬†than her sucking my dick with her¬†large brown doe eyes gazing deep into mine………… and if there’s one truth I’ve learnt in my years walking this awful planet populated with nasty people, I know for certain sex is a pointless waste of time and energy unless two people love each other,¬†I would have to¬†emotionally connect with the woman¬†I’m f#cking, if not I’m content being celibate hence I haven’t been with an¬†<personal> in several years. Sex I don’t miss¬†because it has to be¬†shared with someone I love and who loves me in return.

I guess you’re maybe thinking, ‘Well Andrew ty lol for nothing, you’ve written many words with out saying a great deal’, and rereading I’m inclined to agree (this hasn’t been edited or¬†toyed with btw). However I.¬†I think this is¬†by far my most honest post and I’ve yes enjoyed sharing two facts with you. Firstly I have a deep seated mistrust opening up to mental health professionals again, perhaps I did everything¬†wrong way round¬†before, perhaps if I’d seen and talked with my GP before attempting to self harm, even though I don’t think I’m a strong enough man to go through with such a wicked crime, perhaps if I’d began by telling him of my depression he would have been more willing to help, trouble is depression induced acts aren’t thought through and rational¬†are they! And because my GP knows what happened I haven’t been back in 8 months and I’m unsure if I ever want to again. I’d guess if¬†he and I¬†talked now, always in the back of his mind would be my admission in that bloody transcript………he totally clammed up after and I have a guess to why.

Secondly I’ve perhaps already answered my own question, I have a strong feeling I’m depressed because I’m single, I hate coming home on an evening, opening the front door and hearing complete silence as I step across the threshold, it¬†would be nice to receive a kiss¬†“hello honey” and cuddle, and of course you’ll know as fact, single men are more at risk of self harm, loneliness is a contributing factor, awful,¬†such is life.

Incidentally I can honestly say the one person who seemed to really care,¬†seemed genuinely interested in¬†my life story was the Policewoman who found me and who later drove me to the Station and interviewed, she chatted with me¬†and admitted to her own¬†depression, on the day in question this lovely lady had¬†an ability to understand and share the feelings of another, an empath have you will, and I’ve never met anyone show such kindness and concern before or since.¬†But yes I¬†realise she was being completely professional, and she was very sweet………..plus I’m a sucker for a pretty smile ūüėÄ no joking apart she cared.

ūüôā I’m feeling ok yet¬†resigned to knowing I’ll always go through life thinking ‘what’s the point?’ You’ll understand for those who don’t¬†give a f#ck¬†getting through the day¬†can be like¬†trudging through proverbial treacle, so don’t worry I’m ok, also as of this moment smiling.

(You kindly gave me your email, but a post for you seemed best, if you’ve found it interesting that’s brilliant¬†and really enough, think a post is best, you may feel uncomfortable seeing me in your inbox ūüėÄ )

Do you consider my true and honest tale positive or wicked and self indulgent? Don’t answer.

I hope I. doesn’t mind me posting extracts from her email,¬†maybe, she hoped I’d post my bit so all’s good. ūüôā So here is¬†an edited version of her email reply and if you are feeling rather low I think you may take comfort¬†from the¬†information¬†she replied, judge me, but just know lady I. is very lovely very knowledgeable.

‘<personal>……………………I’m glad you had that positive experience with the police woman ūüė䬆 That kind of thing makes all the difference when you’re at rock bottom. With the psychiatrist, because it was an urgent care assessment, in other words to ascertain whether your risk of completing suicide was sufficient for you to be detained under the mental health act, everything is written down and recorded verbatim in quotation marks. That is how it is, as they have a duty of care to communicate between professionals. They should have made that clear at the outset though. Some GPs are shit with mental health and uncomfortable discussing it openly. Some are great. It’s a lottery. You can always book in with a new GP, but a suicide attempt/crisis assessment will always be on your mental health records so a new person will see it too. That is for your own benefit. So people know you have been vulnerable and they need to be attentive and take care of you well. It is not a weapon to judge a patient with. It is just how the system works. But I understand your fear and worry of stigma. I didn’t visit the doctor for years after I was first diagnosed with clinical depression at 16. But now I think fuck it. If I need a doctor I’ll see one, and I’m not gonna worry how I might be perceived. No mental health care is confidential. None of it. But that is because it is important all NHS people have an awareness of your history………………<personal>……………………
 
………….<personal>……….. And about being single, feeling depressed about that and feeling lonely is understandable. I have a depressed male friend at the moment which has been desperately unhappy for this reason. I get it. Companionship and sex and intimacy is a gift, so when it’s lacking we will feel emptiness. Personally I feel depressed emptiness and loneliness myself even though I’m married. It is more typical than we think it is. I know that an awareness that other people feel the same doesn’t help you feel better, but it’s a small comfort I hope. Your feelings are valid and reasonable in your life circumstances. I’m sorry this is how your personal life is just now, but it is temporary, not forever ūüė䬆 ………………’
I’m unsure how to finish this post, not usually a problem for me, 60 posts and I’ve never had a problem, 200 if you count my previous blog, usually I¬†write ‘just be sure my next post won’t be anything like this one’. Back to this post and being¬†unsure how to tie up loose ends, I can’t¬†because there¬†are NO easy answers to mental health issues, all I hope is you may at least find my tale and lady I. useful information and if you think you need to seek professional help.
¬© Andrew ūüôā

58 – Beachy Head – late autumn 2016 and thoughts

If you’ve Followed my blog ūüėÄ (in the loosest term of the phrase) this autumn ty,¬†I had a lovely Christmas and hope you did to, mine was spent with my adorable young¬†nephews, great fun and¬†being around their childish enthusiasm was a real joy. ‚̧

My scenic photographic posts¬†have been¬†popular and I enjoy sharing so here’s two more for you and of course taken by me. Earlier this autumn and¬†on a whim I booked a last minute ‘single’ room¬†at a small West Rocks Hotel on the South Coast of England. As their website stated the room’s view stretched¬†out across a pebble beach¬†with blue sea beyond and¬†a stunning sunset, I know I wish I’d taken photos :/ next time!)

I¬†take short breaks¬†sometimes and highly recommend,¬†no planning, I went¬†on-line on¬†the Thursday and booked a Hotel somewhere¬†last minute (some great prices¬†for the¬†Friday),¬†the only proviso¬†a Hotel has¬†to be near a railway station. Then¬†come Friday evening I’ll travel¬†light¬†taking the train for a weekend’s short break, and when there¬†I’ll maybe sightsee¬†trek a coastline¬†or just do¬†whatever?

A New Year resolution is to try more often though the downside to travelling alone is it can be depressing, there you are we’ll see :/ .¬†Here’s a tip, travelling light is very liberating only because WE (humans) carry far tooo much baggage in life, why?¬†With¬†that in mind¬†all I really carry is a small rucksack with¬†undies (ok lol and a little more!)

Well as the Title hinted, a few months ago I took the train from Oxford England directly down to Eastbourne on the South coast, I’ll say little about Eastbourne (boring¬†City)¬†other than it’s sunny and warm all year round¬†hence the retirement capital of England, a little like an English equivalent of Florida!

I must admit to wanting to finally experience the magnificent Beachy Head chalk cliffs also wander along the Coastline a little, the weather was stunning that day¬†BUT I don’t mind wind rain and the cold……….when you walk alone in horrible weather you may find thoughts of ‘why are we here’ become a second person, you’re p#ssed angry¬†at being¬†outside all¬†wet and¬†cold and dispirited as apposed to gaily enjoying getting suntanned, just think about that dichotomy for a second……….

Dichotomy def – a division or contrast between two things that are or are represented as being opposed or entirely different. (Sorry but you maybe know I love my dictionary)

…………..remember how relieved you feel when you get home dry and warm with a comforting¬†hot drink?………..Climb a mountain in the driving rain and you’ll think deeply about your lives?

Lol ūüėÄ an insight from me to you!

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People standing on the tip gives an idea of the shear scale to the cliffs below.

Rather spectacular don’t you think. (All photos¬†¬© Andrew)

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I’ll probably still blog in 2017, it’ll be the same old sh#t ūüėÄ no seriously I may, then again perhaps maybe not, we all feel like that? But to be honest I still enjoy posting now¬†as if it was my first 2 years ago, the blog entry where¬†I lost my virginity, you’d enjoy that one cause I’ve never been a more popular blogger since.

Happy New Year Andrew ūüôā

 

 

 

57 – Have yourselves a Happy Christmas

merry-christmas-happy-holidaysI would like to wish everyone who has read any of my posts, and please please¬†ūüôā¬†¬†don’t ever take them too seriously, to anyone who’s read my comments or been a blog friend to me, I’d like to wish you a Happy Christmas. I’m off to my brother’s family tomorrow and really looking forward to it, hopefully their children will rid me of all my middle aged cynicism and¬†the¬†days will be¬†fun! Apparently they are near besides themselves with excitement just the way Christmas should be.

Andrew ūüôā

 

56 – Lake District – pt 3 (of 3)

(WordPress has been a joy and wonderful experience, primarily for the interesting people I’ve interacted with from many different countries, reading their fascinating blogs and of course having my very own. BUT there’s one other, WP has forded me the opportunity to share many personal photographs here and my previous blog, photos I haven’t viewed in years, well you don’t do you, I mean get old family¬†photograph albums¬†from a dusty draw, it just never happens and then JOY OF JOYS one or two people like them…….. absolutely fabulous.)

So here is a final selection of photos taken by me or my brother as we spent a wonderful week walking¬†climbing the mountains in England’s Lake District! (Not that long ago btw).

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Above has always been my favourite photo

Me clambering down a mountain (ok they aren’t that high compared to some in the world but the highest in England) however I cannot remember which one, and neither can I tell you the name of the peak that lays before me all I can say is¬†was steep,¬†frigging¬†jars the knees coming down I can tell you!!!

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The above pic is taken half way up or half way down? Notice as always a stream taking run off rain water from the mountain sides down to a Lake below. The Lake District is the rainiest area in England hence the land is always wet and green so you always needs rain gear in the rucksack.

My brother (below) surveying (I know lol) yet another magnificent Lake’s vista taken half way on the decent of a mountain peak, sorry I can’t tell you any of their names but it doesn’t matter just to say the ones we are facing are either walked and climbed on a previous day, or ones we intend to climb during the week, two physically fit outdoor men don’t travel all the way to the Lakes unless they are going to walk everyday.

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Notice the mist obscuring a Peak

A view from the top of I don’t know which one and that’s me bottom right¬†sporting a well dodgy haircut!

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I have to admit the photos are pulling at my heartstrings, I must go again. Below is I think two other walkers cause they’re not either my brother or me, as you’ll guess climbing the Lake District is a pretty solitary pastime and thank God for that!

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Below is either actually me in a valley stream or jumping across big stones, did I get wet?

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So that’s it, the last photo set taken of my brother¬†and I walking holiday the Lake District. Thank you.

Andrew ūüôā

 

 

 

 

55 – Voyage around my brother (and other)

(When the following day I re read a post I’ve written, I wrote this last night, I think ‘geez Andrew could you try any harder to make people not like you?’ I’m tooo honest for my own good, I visited the young women for love, they said and I know I looked for love in the wrong place, a past life, ūüôā I’m tooo honest but I’ll carry on maybe in drafts only for myself, always feeling second best needs addressing or I’ll never move on.)

These next posts could be considered by some an exercise in self indulgence, but¬†that’s fine¬†I won’t argue¬†ūüôā¬†I enjoyed writing. Btw¬†part 3 of Lake District¬†photos will have to wait, they’re old ones and isn’t the point to a blog new material?

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Cropped! I wanted to share but that’s not fair without permission, but¬†the collie dog won’t mind cause she long gone anyway¬†ūüė¶

The reasons why two brothers can be so different fascinates me and truthfully¬†always has done. Those of you with children or lucky enough to have brothers and sisters will have questioned many times in pure wonderment,¬†how and why babies borne of the same mother’s womb, genetically closer than all other billions of human souls walking this planet put together, are so similar yet SO different?¬†How can it be two brothers (or¬†four sisters)¬†are so¬†unalike, contrasting¬†individuals¬†dissimilar in¬†EVERY possible respect to the point one could be a good kind human being, his brother an evil degenerate yet both¬†are borne of the same woman! Absolutely incredible! I was going to labour¬†the point with four sisters, but you get the idea.

Don’t worry this isn’t a critical essay, just personal observations, themes I’ve wanted to put down in print for quite a while.

I’ve had a thought after writing, perhaps¬†interpret the escorting anecdotes as a juxtaposition, defining how different we both are! One brother moral the other amoral, black and white have you will, chalk and cheese!

I’m hoping my brother never discovers my blog and certainly hope he NEVER¬†happened¬†across my first let alone read it! Omfg that’d create a stir in the family that’s for sure, though knowing my lovely sister-in-law she’d almost certainly laugh ūüėÄ ……. I don’t think it’s fair to leave you in suspense,¬†not say a little more about my first, enough to say I shared tales of my afternoons spent with 12 lovely ‘high end’ in call escorts, a fact¬†I’m neither proud¬†or ashamed of, I looked for love in the wrong place and¬†in truth we did very little together, to me they were sweet kind fun young ladies and well that naughty past life is behind me now……… sometimes I wish I hadn’t deleted that old¬†blog but then again maybe erasing a printed past life was and is¬†quite cathartic.

So to my brother M. Interesting to me¬†I’m not in the slightest bit envious or jealous of my brother I’m only glad he didn’t turn out similar to me, NOT that there’s anything wrong with me mind, I’m a nice kind man who’s never been in trouble, but then again maybe if a frequented brothel had been raided by the Police that could have taken some explaining away to family and employer!!!! Me knelt at the end of the bed, my head between a beautiful young ladies parted thighs licking her freshly washed pussy, sucking folds of labia whilst out stretched arms permitted me squeezing her tits playing with her nipples,¬†only for the serious crime squad to bust through her door looking for hookers and their clients. They never did. And I know¬†escorts faked orgasms, one older lady who used to say ” Oh yes……….Oh yes………Oh yes……….Oh yes…..’ in a¬†monotone matter of fact fashion, forearm resting on her face covering her eyes sort of didn’t fake, I asked her after I’d finished:

“Did¬†you enjoy”,¬†to which¬†she replied “yes” with a smile, “you are gentle and I haven’t the time for faking, either I enjoy or I don’t and you were very pleasant”………..I’ll settle for that ūüôā

Oh yes I digress, my brother, like I said I’m neither jealous envious or consumed with anger that he has¬†a life¬†I don’t,¬†his life’s always¬†appeared easier luckier¬†for him than for me but that’s fine,¬†his seems MORE fun but¬†like I said I’m neither a jealous or envious man.¬†Christ those are destructive evil qualities in a person, throughout British history envious Kings and Princes have fought one¬†another, the younger usually jealous the elder’s to marry¬†THE gorgeous Princess, a¬†sibling who¬†has¬†power wealth and influence. In Biblical times brothers have murdered because one is envious of the other, I’m not religious so I can’t tell you their names or stories, but I remember from Sunday School¬†more than one¬†instance a jealous man has murdered his brother because he didn’t have what the other possessed, Cain and Able? Or am I right off.

(Escorting intermission, a memory, laying face¬†down on warm quilt on a comfy bed in some Chelsea village apartment block, her sat on my buttocks legs astride my hips, me feeling her wet pussy against my butt cheeks¬†as she massaged¬†‘BOOTS’ own brand¬†coconut butter¬†into my tense shoulder muscles…… heaven….God I need to get laid again, but I’m never going to pay ever again no more of that stupidity! Lovely human beings.)

Back to my brother, so we have ascertained I love him and I’m not in the slightest bit jealous or envious, you see he is the complete opposite to me in every way possible so much so I’ve wondered¬†whether my mother may have gotten up to something and we are in fact ‘that’ or adopted ONLY¬†JOKING MOTHER!!!!! (I know not funny) Maybe I am adopted? How can two brothers be so different? Enough to say we are ‘chalk and cheese’ like Prince Harry and Prince William well come on they are products of different fathers, so different in looks, Lady Di was NOT virginal when she married Prince Charles and turns out neither was she chaste after marriage,¬†she¬†was lovely¬†but as¬†it turned out the tramp didn’t half sleep around, our Queen of Hearts had many lovers and I’m¬†happy she enjoyed her time on earth¬†God rest her soul, ok I’ll go to the Tower and lose my head for that slur BUT someone tell me I’m lying and sue me for slander!!! She¬†knew many men and in my dreams I wish one of them had been me! Hell I’d f#ck my neighbour given the chance lol. Nah C. is a lovely husband.

(I nearly cut that last paragraph, but doesn’t the fact two Royal brothers are SO different fascinate us all? Fine young men but we all are a little curious.)

(Escorting intermission, do you know what I had an epileptic fit whilst visiting one escort, I paid her took a shower and whilst in her tiny flat’s bathroom¬†showering door securely locked (why?) she was waiting naked the other side with MASSIVE firm round big tits, anyways as I was showering, water streaming down my body¬†I suddenly slumped to the bottom of the bath for approximately 1 minute shaking profusely, and as always happens, recovered and composed myself¬†just as quickly¬†before regaining my balance and unsteadily standing again. Recovered I¬†sort of stumbled out the bathroom and she never¬†knew or suspected, an epileptic fit is different for every sufferer but for me a seizure comes on near instantly and the debilitating effects leave just as quickly consequently I doubt she ever suspected. Would have freaked her out I know! Then move on 2 minutes and¬†I was f#cking her missionary position on her double bed in¬†a¬†dimly lit Soho boudoir,¬†incidentally¬†BBC Radio 2 was playing in the back round for some reason, as I came all I could remember was some guy reading the London traffic news, sexy hey?)

So I hope you’ve ascertained¬†my brother is totally different and I’m cool with the fact. For those still with me finally I’ve reached the point where I’d like to tell you something about him, M. is tall good looking, witty, charming, had many friends and acquaintances throughout his life, a very personable man who will talk to anyone, chatting with him is like meeting an old friend,¬†as comfortable as if¬†you’d known him for years. He’s University educated and highly intelligent, now employed as a Hospital clinical physician, and if you’re interested he research’s genetic abnormalities¬†present in¬†unborn children, avert your eyes for this next part.¬†I don’t mean to be nasty, part of his job entails carrying a cool box from ward to lab (so I gather) carrying dead newly born babies or foetus, in of course a very caring dignified manner, he cares! Then¬†his Department carries out important research, end¬†results which may help you, a¬†family member or someone you know who’s trying to have a baby. Not palatable but¬†life changing¬†important¬†after conceiving.

M. in both¬†personality and moral outlook takes after my mother and her father respectfully, there exists a direct genetic humane link in every way possible, he is thoughtful good and kind, implicitly knows and understands the difference between right and wrong, we all think we do, but he understands¬†a problem or judgement as black or white, and if you listen to his opinion there is no colour grey, if you were to say something controversial or important he’d make clear¬†right or wrong, but he’s not in the slightest bit arrogant patronising or condescending, in fact¬†I’ve never met anyone where just through the art of conversation an issue or whatever¬†can be¬†so clear cut….then again we¬†think like that¬†ūüôā

Am I boring you?

To be continued……………

Andrew ūüôā

 

54 – The Lake District National Park – pt2 (of 3)

(Please don’t go thinking I’m a blogger who circles the globe visiting exotic places that make you wish ‘if only’, no these are ‘snaps’¬†taken on an annual holiday and¬†little more, not quite sure why I needed to say that but there you are, and I know a lady in SA enjoys¬†them ūüôā ).

I would describe the first picture as me ‘taking in’ the¬†breath taking scenery before me, as I¬†described in my previous¬†post rain water¬†from the ‘Fells’¬†forms streams¬†which flow¬†between tall mountains making their way down to valleys deep below,¬†finally outpouring¬†into¬†lakes named and¬†referred to as ‘Waters’, i.e. Ullswater, Derwent Water, Coniston Water…. When¬†standing on top of mountains affront magnificent views¬†such¬†as this¬†I guess it’s hard not to¬†contemplate life itself, clearing the mind of what and what is important, existence of God questions? Maybe. And yes many hundreds of poets have been inspired to write great prose on these mountains.

What¬†thoughts¬†are crossing my mind I wonder? I can’t remember but I have a strong guess they are profound¬†and of great worth……….. am I overstating their importance? I have a guess not, you’ll understand my meaning, when faced with such beauty¬†ones mind is cleared of work, mortgages, bills and bs………….just for a minute anyway.

What an earth ever happened to those green ‘outdoor’ trousers? They were awesome as my young nephew would say!

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Me (Andrew)

Me again clambering up a steep ravine of loose rock and shale.

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Me (Andrew) resting

Looking at¬†my photo¬†below, I’m curious, could taking a bad photo in the LDNP actually be possible? Mind you l do feel slightly melancholic right¬†now, and¬†I’m¬†contemplating where I maybe going on holiday next year!

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You may have guessed my brother is fitter than me! Hence he’s the one at the top waiting to take photographs. And¬†if you’re at all wondering my brother and I do get along, we are ‘chalk and cheese’ totally different, though we’re fine together. But¬†similar to¬†most siblings we can only go so many days before an err disagreement lol. You can never bs a sibling can you…….not that we were but you get my drift!

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Me behind as usual, not as fit as my brother

Two thoughts, I considered sharing all my photographs (taken by me) at once, also including a L D poem sourced from the internet, like William Wordsworth’s ‘Daffodils’, but no a selection at a time is fun and secondly,¬†honestly after reading¬†famous poems¬†I prefer the poetry¬†written by¬†WordPress bloggers……seriously! I’ve never been more serious, controversial¬†maybe but so true, please don’t ever underestimate your creativity skill imagination and talent.

To be continued…………….

Andrew ūüôā

 

 

53 – The Lake District National Park – pt1

The Lake District National Park¬†has probably THE¬†most beautiful¬†scenic views in all¬†of England, wild remote¬†‘Fells’, breath taking scenery¬†and a landscape¬†possessing¬†the highest mountains in England, btw the guy below carrying a¬†purple rucksack on his back is in fact my brother……… several years ago we camped and walked many miles together.

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My brother again! I guess his winter fleece jacket and snow capped Fells gives away the time of year, summer or winter the Lake District is magnificently beautiful and incidentally some of you may know the scenery has inspired many famous writers and poets from years gone by.

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Driving slowly pushing our way through sheep¬†which populate the mountains by the thousands………..oh and if you know the region you’ll appreciate the Lakes are the wettest part of the UK……..I’ve visited and¬†experienced rain every single day to such an extent my walking boot soles¬†‘fell off’ the leather being so wet and saturated with water.

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At the foot of the mountains, icy cold streams carry water off¬†the ‘Fells’ filling lakes known as ‘Waters’, so calm and¬†still possessing¬†such great length water speed records have been broken and lives lost…….Sir Malcom Campbell.

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To be continued…………

Andrew ūüôā

52 – Afternoon silly musings and an update

(Note the lady is 49 years young)

I shouldn’t apologise for¬†my absence should I, ūüôā I¬†know I haven’t posted for a while¬†which is ok just appreciate¬†I read every post¬†my favourite bloggers¬†share, whether poetry, mental illness, paintings, relationship advice, movie reviews and so much more.¬†A ‘Forest Gump’ analogy often comes to mind when trying to sum up my WP reading experiences,¬†the blogs I¬†Follow¬†could be ‘like¬†a box of chocolates’…….. ūüôā an eclectic¬†‘mixed bag ūüėÄ ‘ of diverse entertaining, wonderful prose¬†writings¬†and photographs. I guess the blogs¬†we all follow are a reflection of own lives¬†loves interests and problems,¬†God knows lol what people make of mine but thank you for your time spent here¬† ‚̧

Anyways there you are, truth be known I get very tired these days plus I need to get laid, :/ a big mistake writing when one needs to masturbate and release all that pent up sexual tension, a f#ck buddy sounds wonderful and orgasmic, do you know what, a lady I once chatted with over coffee in a railway station cafeteria hinted at something perhaps every blogger should take heed of,

“Andrew, the trouble is darling, I developed feelings for my f#ck buddy, fell for him a little and then he stopped emailing……..but on the plus¬†I tried anal for the first time!”

The lady and I parted on¬†friendly terms¬†but I’d wished for so much more (love), between you and¬†me I briefly¬†cried on the train ride home, only for a minute or so¬†but I did shed a tear oh and incidentally by pure accident I’d touched her boobs, Christ you can go to prison these days for ‘accidents’ like that!¬†That evening I worriedly apologised¬†by email and she replied¬†saying she “didn’t mind”, calling me “rather cheeky” which was a relief!

You see as¬†I pulled away after a rather long embrace, the palms of my hands stroked the lace sides of her¬†rather large bra cups and note¬†she was wearing a thin cotton¬†blouse at the time!……..I don’t mind admitting¬†I fell in love with her and THAT’S why I¬†know for certain internet dating just isn’t for me, you see¬†I fall in love too easily and¬†I have a feeling I could get my heart broken or worse!

Many months later¬†when¬†the lady blogger and I were sitting together at¬†a table¬†in some provincial railway station caf√©, all very Trevor Howard and Celia Johnson¬†and the¬†Brief Encounter movie comparisons wasn’t lost on me, there we both were excitedly enjoying¬†discussing our lives together, when she very loudly¬†announced,

“Well Andrew you DO have a rather nice cock”,¬†giving rise to¬†a young lady seated at a table close by to turn her head¬†and throw my blog friend a look of shocked slightly stunned disbelieve, well you would wouldn’t you,¬†then seconds later having¬†composed¬†herself¬†she smiled and¬†returned to whatever she was doing, you’ll glean from that remark¬†my friend and I¬†had become¬†kinda blog intimate exchanging photographs!!

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A…N…D…R…E…W stop right there!

Anyways enough of that silliness, remember my previous post? The one where¬†I’d intended to share photos¬†of scenic¬†views taken in and around¬†the Lake District National Park? Only I didn’t preferring instead to write about a bus stop liaison, well for those of you who care lol I never met the lady again, the days passed by and¬†I don’t know after a while meeting her again¬†seemed not such a good idea. AND I certainly wasn’t¬†returning just out of an inquisitiveness, no¬†I’d never half heartedly play with another persons emotions like that, either I seriously wished to get to know her, or I didn’t, there is NO in between.

I promise my next blog will be personal photographs taken in and around the Lake District National Park.

Andrew ūüôā

 

51 – The lady at the bus stop. Pt 2 (of 2)

Continued………………… (Please don’t confuse my 2 tales, remember the lady I met last Wednesday, we DIDN’T have sex at a bus stop! That’s another story)

Sleepless-in-Seattle-sleepless-in-seattle-2974781-900-350

‘……sex, fun, laughter and cuddles¬†over we went our separate ways, after all¬†the evening¬†was only¬†ever ‘one night sex’,¬†yes I know I’d said¬†I like to¬†meet her again but¬†I doubt it, NO!…………… ūüėÄ ….I desperately¬†want to¬†tell all but I promised myself earlier best¬†to be discreet¬†and not kiss and tell, so nothing of our evening and quite right tooo even though I enjoy writing about sex, best left, enough said! So after a lovely evening together I let myself out of her electronically controlled front door into a freezing¬†pitch black late December evening,¬†and yes Oxford was more than a little cold last Wednesday with a dusting of¬†white powdered frost adhered to car windscreens. After a couple of minutes walking alongside a busy main road I made out the figure of someone small standing at a bus stop ahead, I have epilepsy and don’t drive so public transport being very good in Oxford, whichever direction I walked tonight I knew¬†I’d come across one¬†soon enough, then jump aboard a bus that’ll¬†take me into town.

As I approached the bus¬†stop lit only by¬†a street lamp¬†illuminating a dull orange glow onto the figure beneath, with every step forward¬†the person became clearer,¬†so much so by the time I reached the stop I could see she was in fact, yes¬†a lady! Aged 40’ish with¬†an¬†attractive face, dark hair and Oxford being so multicultural¬†these days¬†I just knew she wasn’t English. Her appearance apart I also¬†realised she was¬†wearing a rather worried expression¬†across her face and I think I¬†understood why, several months ago, only 200 metres from this point a girl had been abducted and raped, so seeing her standing alone still surprises me¬†even now¬†because ever since¬†the rape police have instructed women not to walk the streets alone at night, err maybe that’s why she was so nervous and visibly apprehensive. Thinking¬†about it¬†witnessing me approaching out of the gloom then¬†stopping right in front of her must have been lol chilling, rapist or not I could have robbed¬†verbally abused¬†or assaulted her…………you should read the Oxford Mail, a lot’s¬†been happening recently.

I didn’t!

Writing here and now I’m unsure who struck up our conversation first, no idea and it¬†doesn’t really matter or does it?¬†Anyway acquaintances made¬†for the next 15 minutes or so we made¬†small talk, chatted about those inconsequential silly things in life that strangers talk about, you know how cold we were, the costs of living in Oxford, infrequent buses not running to schedule, ‘silly old me’ stories always so adorable……….. and as time¬†ticked by¬†she visibly relaxed, even smiling with¬†occasional laughter. And we learnt a little more about each other such as she had a hard evening’s work ahead of her, apparently after taking a bus into town¬†she then had¬†to¬†take a bus out again¬†to one of the surrounding villages for what I can gather was¬†her cleaning job, hard work and yes I was correct she wasn’t English, that’s¬†fine by me btw, and at a guess I would say she was Spanish, I’m probably way off but she was of Mediterranean descent.

So there we were making small talk having a right ole jolly time, she’s friendly and personable and I’m being my usual polite self smiling and chatty. We’re told within three minutes we can judge whether we like someone or not and¬†well I’m an open book, what you see is what you get, so know doubt by now she’d¬†have¬†worked out I’m a pleasant good natured guy and definitely never a¬†threat, further still¬†if someone nasty had approached I would have looked out for her.

After 15 minutes getting to know each other the bus comes into view stopping¬†alongside us, surprising to me¬†whilst boarding¬†the bus¬†she’s still¬†chatting, then¬†she pays seating herself¬†several rows into the bus, I show my pass, follow¬†and involuntarily as I always do,¬†walk right past her sitting further at the rear. Yep I pass her by, happens all the time, nothing there you might think and you’re probably correct, always Correct! But on this occasion as the bus pulled away¬†a feeling of dread flooded over me, should I have sat down next to her and carried on chatting?¬†I think I should have, this evenings circumstances seemed a little different¬†yet¬†true to form, quite unwittingly I’d sat somewhere else,¬†I hadn’t taken¬†the chance to be well just sociable! What¬†am I¬†supposed to do now? Nervous is my character and I hadn’t meant anything by walking by…….. but too late now, f#ck, my¬†indifference must have appeared rudeness.¬†Yep I left¬†her¬†in peace¬†our brief human interaction at an end, which¬†after all¬†ha been¬†little¬†more than relaxed social banter, and¬†no doubt she’s¬†happy and relieved not¬†to be standing¬†alone in the dark next to a road busy with cars driving past.¬†‘Yes’ I say to myself, she’s probably not given me a second thought sitting behind her. OR¬†should I have¬†taken the risk of overstaying my welcome by moving and sitting next to her? Bothering her have you will, annoying her, misreading an earlier¬†human interaction as a brief encounter we all enjoy¬†every single day and repeated thousands of¬†times a day.

:/ I should’ve sat next to her!!!!

Now please understand¬†what I’m about to¬†say next is intended as tongue in cheek, not at all to be taken seriously, but I ask what if she was the one? What if this friendly Spanish lady who’d enjoyed our safe convivial conversation¬†moments earlier had been the ONE for me? What if she was sitting there a front of me hoping I’d sat alongside her¬†continuing to chat¬†where she’d left off, or perhaps she’d instantly forgotten me occupying her thoughts with the hard evening’s work ahead¬†perhaps¬†money to earn for her children’s Christmas presents? But¬†of course I’ll never know will I,¬†I never sat next to her, in order to find out what happens next¬†in our lives¬†we have to take emotional rational risks or you end up single middle aged lonely and living on your own………like me! I know lol sad in so many ways, I should have warned you but as I said I wasn’t going to write this post.

So all these evenings later let’s just put¬†our warmth and friendliness down to Wednesday’s circumstances or whatever, as for saying maybe she was the one, think of that silly statement as all tongue in cheek.¬†However true life brief encounters do happen and¬†sometimes they do end in love,¬†silly talk I know but if there is a moral to this tale then it must be “seize the day!”

Ok I know having¬†thoughts dilemmas¬†and questions such as these could drive¬†a man¬†insane,¬† so just¬†understand¬†I’m an¬†extremely sensible guy, all day everyday I talk with women, married or female students¬† and I never confuse friendliness for romance, after all¬†crossing paths or working with the fair sex is well life itself!¬†I’m a chatty small talk sort of guy, whether the woman sat¬†at a supermarket checkout or¬†the young lady sat next to me on a train who shared her sweets on our journey to Leeds, (and note I wasn’t giving sweets to unknown women got make that clear lol these days!)¬†Where was¬†I , oh yes thoughts of interacting with women, happens all the time without¬†thoughts of love ever entering my mind, but tonight this Spanish lady seemed, well¬†a little¬†different.

Perhaps her humour friendliness smiles and willingness to talk was shear relief! Perhaps she’d been frightened to death seeing me approach out of the gloom then¬†breathed an almighty sigh of relief¬†on seeing¬†I was a nice guy, unthreatening and friendly¬†her knowing¬†Oxford¬†is now¬†such a dangerous City. But f#ck what if she’d hoped I’d sat down next to her, chatted for a few¬†minutes longer, you never know this pleasant middle aged man may have made an impression on her by the time we’d reached our final destination? The trouble with me is I’m a hopeless romantic¬†perhaps I’ve seen the movie ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ one tooo many times.

I know I know introspective thoughts like these¬†are pointless and questions of ‘what might have been’ could like I said¬†drive a man insane, but perhaps¬†tonight has been a wake up call, a good lesson……….. hmmm me thinks it’s time¬†I should¬†take a walk in the fresh air!

…………….finally you may be wondering, ‘Andrew the lady you had sex with earlier, is she¬†not your soul mate?’ Good question which deserves a non flippant answer……… I’d like to tell more but some things are better left unsaid except to say¬†we should never confuse sex with being in¬†love, to the point perhaps you shouldn’t have sex with someone unless you truly love them¬†and vice versa….best I can do I’m afraid.’

Written last night, all very embarrassing ūüôā Andrew

50 – The lady at the bus stop. Pt 1 (of 2)

Tabby-GirlAtBusStop.jpgAfter first titling¬†my post ‘Sex and a lady at the bus stop’, I’ve just remembered I have a tale to tell which in fact involves sex AT a bus stop!…….Hmmm that’s a story for some other time but alas I didn’t f#ck her behind that skip¬†after she’d finished with my friends……….. one of the biggest regrets of my life, I had the chance, she wanted to¬†but another friend stopped me for good reasons, he knew I’d had tooo much to drink, he looked after me¬†and must have sensed¬†our evening out together was in danger of getting out of hand. But still pulling her off me whilst we were kissing at the bus stop¬†does seem a little mean all these years later¬†and NO she was NOT a hooker! (Btw we were all age 17, us boys, her and all her :/¬†friends?)

Don’t despair, bare with me, my introduction misogyny and silliness done with, this post is very much more personal than usual and very much written for me, so much so I very nearly disabled likes and comments, we’ll see.

Introspection is all very well as long as there’s a point to self analysis,¬†looking inwards questioning¬†why life isn’t how I’d like it to be or would like it to be can¬†quickly¬†make way¬†to¬†feeling sorry for oneself, and wallowing in self pity isn’t a pretty sight further still¬†brooding over life’s¬†regrets can be self destructive!¬†Then again,¬†time to time¬†reflecting¬†on¬†one’s¬†direction in life¬†doesn’t hurt once in a while and where better place to write than on a blog.

Talking of blogs, do you ūüėÄ really¬†need to know or want to understand the reason why? Why I haven’t been here? No not really because you all have lives to lead, so Andrew of what cryptic nonsense do¬†you speak? I¬†began November blogging a post everyday for 18 days but then a week ago¬†I stopped, now understand I’ve been chastised in the past for apologising so I won’t,¬†all I will say is¬†I squeezed a boob and licked a nipple Wednesday evening……………..a HUMAN female breast I might add!!!!!!……….I know she¬†sounds fantastic but¬†being with her¬†wasn’t love and¬†I’m someone who¬†wants to be in¬†love and hates being single¬†:/ one night stands are ok I guess,¬†you know sex then go your separate ways, but¬†lust is a deadly sin for a good reason, sex without love is¬†well…..a little¬†pointless.

Why am I still single and living on my own? How did I come to be a bachelor when all I’ve ever wanted needed is to be in a loving relationship? I’m not going to even try to explain why just understand the reasons are complicated, the opposite sex confuse and baffle me and¬†I’ve NEVER been skilled at reading a woman’s body language or the¬†signals¬†she gives of herself?

Whether you can live with¬†a lady¬†is immaterial, just know you can’t live without her…….. ūüôā ahhh.

Over the past two years I’ve followed hundreds of ladies¬†writing of¬†their relationship happiness also heart rending¬†horrific tales here on WordPress. True stories¬†of¬†living with¬†controlling abusive narcissistic partners and the emotional scars and wounds their abusers¬†behaviour leave behind,¬†and yes I felt desperately sad for the ladies and their predicaments to the point I stopped reading because they upset me so….. you see I feel tremendous empathy towards people enduring sadness and hardship, reading was¬†I guess a form of¬†voyeurism but at the same time their accounts¬†were so¬†upsetting¬†I¬†sensed they were also¬†emotionally damaging and yes unhealthy so I had to stop…… there’s only so much of other peoples sadness you can take on board!!!

But rather selfishly I’m questioning myself tonight, asking myself ‘why the hell am I still single when I’d never treat another¬†woman so awfully?’ I’m a nice man, horrible word I know but it’ll suffice ūüôā I’m a nice guy I enjoy the company of women, I’m respectful polite and never arrogant, I listen often captivated by their femininity humour,¬†very often¬†amused by their funny little ways and of course¬†I¬†enjoy their sexuality always at a respectful distance mind!! However I live alone and internet dating isn’t the answer………..f#cking nightmare……don’t ever bother.

A married friend of mine says women are a different species, unfathomable emotionally irrational sometimes a little unstable,¬†however he wouldn’t¬†wish to¬†be unmarried for all the world, by all accounts my friend and his wife argue, as do¬†all couples but they obviously still love each other because they’ve reached 50 together! Btw he’s also a¬†gobshite who says during sex he’ll gaze at the bedroom wallpaper just so as to take his mind off the job in hand, apparently¬†convincing himself¬†‘to redecorate’, ‘musing over colour schemes’, ‘setting a start date’ apparently mundane thoughts help¬†prolong the intercourse, you know leave the moment of¬†ejaculation for as long a¬†time as possible, he says “it keeps her happy!”

ūüėÄ Back to me! Why AM I still single? I’m a nice man, I would never strike a woman, I have never sworn in front of a lady to the point this week I told a guy off at work for saying fuck and shit in front of a young Pakistani lady, his defence was she’s just a technician like the rest of us, BULLSHIT she’s a lady and he (my boss) was being a disrespectful misogynistic bastard! Afterwards I spoke to her and she said she wasn’t offended, laughed the abuse off because it wasn’t personal but I differ, work aggravation or not¬†the issue¬†wasn’t her fault and she didn’t need to witness language like that. I’m an¬†honourable man, there are standards and rules, yes¬†she works on a par in a man’s world but she’s still a lady and should be treated as such.

HOWEVER I’m not perfect, far from it, I’m prone to sulking rather than shouting and swearing, I guess my retort to difficult interpersonal situations is to go all ‘silent treatment’ you know act in a very childish manner, ‘you’ve upset me so I’m not speaking to you any more’ all very juvenile but so much better than lashing out verbally.

Btw I didn’t sit down to write a post about relationships, believe it or not I intended to share photographs I taken in the Lake District a¬†UK national park,¬†so heaven knows how I came to be questioning why I’m still single? Btw¬†‘WHY’ is¬†a long long story too complicated for even WordPress tonight or ever!!!!¬†I’ll leave photos for another day and see where this unplanned post goes?

To be continued……………..

49 – A follow up post for blogger HLN

I’ve written this post specifically for a WordPress blogger who enjoys my published photographs, BUT I shan’t embarrass the lady with her real name because ūüėÄ she may not wish lol to be tooo closely associated with err one or two of posts, and incidentally thank you to another lady who re blogged that ‘story’,¬†most kind and wow all those likes!!!

To HLN, you replied to me talking of your love of¬†South Africa’s¬†wide open spaces, you may remember I wrote of my Great Grandfather (you also commented ty) and¬†my ancestral link¬†to SA,¬†namely my¬†family has a connection to¬†the Anglo Boer War 1899-1902 and afterwards he served in¬†South African¬†Constabulary (S.A.C.),¬†we gather from family anecdotes he lived and worked¬†in Bethulie ORC, a town which again is linked to the second Boer War being horrendously associated with¬†Bethulie’s¬†‘concentration camp’ housing Boer women and children.

The medal below as you may also remember (because you again commented ty)¬†is¬†our ‘Rare’ treasured¬†Queen’s South Africa medal awarded to¬†Trooper Matthew¬†‘blank’ with an Orange Free State bar, which makes plain he first moved to the Colony (photograph)therefore residing in SA before the War. Complicated I know but not to you.

Your love of Africa’s¬†expansive scenery¬†and liking my Oxford pictures of¬†‘claustrophobic towering medieval buildings’ prompted¬†my¬†post, simply because I’d loved¬†to have experienced Rourke’s Drift, (ZULU is a favourite movie) visited Bethulie perhaps viewed the vast open scenic views from Spion Kop…………who knows perhaps I’m a romantic?

Interaction with a WP blogger often evokes recalls my past, has me searching albums for passed down photographs¬†I haven’t viewed in years,¬†our families are¬†very very¬†tenuously and historically linked which is fascinating, opposing¬†countries¬†during a long long forgotten War.

I hope you enjoy reading…………. lol if but for a few minutes.

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Copy of a postcard handed down to me by my Grandfather, his Father emigrated to Orange River Colony from Catholic Southern Ireland, a persecuted Protestant Irishman fighting Boers in the 1899-1902 Anglo Boer War, very odd!!

Jane, Matthew baby Robert (my Grandpa) and Emma the Housemaid.

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My paternal Great Grandfather Matthew, Bethulie either ORC? Or OFS years?

My Great Grandfather Matthew’s¬†Queen’s South Africa medal, (Queen being Victoria!) a Rare treasured heirloom.

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Trooper 51032¬†Matthew ‘Blank’, QSA with¬†Orange Free State and Cape Colony bars

© Andrew

 

 

48 – Gropecunt Lane

I’m hoping the¬†Title Gropecunt Lane intrigues you a little ūüôā yes the phrase could be deemed offensive however my intention isn’t to be¬†distasteful or rude. So with¬†good taste in mind¬†I’d like to¬†share with you the existence of a little known Oxford City street¬†called Gropecunt Lane, incidentally visit Oxford as a tourist and I doubt¬†grope-a-cunt lane’¬†will be¬†included on any medieval tourist walking tour!

cunt –¬†noun – vulgar slang¬†¬†a woman’s genitals (vulva, first described in 1230)

grope Рnoun  an act of fondling someone for sexual pleasure

A question. You may have guessed¬†the words grope, cunt and an¬†Oxford city¬†street¬†named Gropecunt Lane could be connected,¬†and if I was to add during medieval times¬†street names reflected the shops and economic activities therein¬†you’ll have guessed where I’m heading,¬†btw makes sense don’t you think, visit Baker Street¬†for¬†bread and cakes visit¬†grope-a-cunt-lane¬†for sexual favours……prostitutes!

Hold on before you leave, this isn’t Andrew being his usual tacky sordid and tawdry self!

Seven hundred years ago, the City of Oxford (England)¬†possessed its very own¬†‘Red Light district’ a city centre street named Gropecunt Lane now rather disappointingly called Magpie Lane, bloody liberal do gooders, what an earth’s wrong with Gropecunt Lane?

We all¬†understand prostitution is the oldest job in the world right? Whether it be medieval England alleyways, Roman brothels or¬†American whore houses in cowboy times, prostitutes¬†sold the use of their vagina’s for sexual pleasure in exchange for money.

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1. Magpie Lane entrance from High Street

I’ll refer to the alleyway above by it’s true¬†historical name and not as you can see¬†Magpie Lane, incidentally and not at all surprising¬†many Cities across the length and breadth of England (I guess same as now)¬†had their very¬†own¬†Gropecunt Lane, absolutely true¬†but all are renamed or redeveloped.

If you’re ever¬†staying in¬†Oxford and would like to¬†visit or take a leisurely stroll down this narrow Lane,¬†walk a couple of hundred yards¬†along¬†Oxford’s High Street from the City Centre end and¬†keep your eye out for¬†a non descript easily miscible narrow alleyway pictured in the photograph above, incidentally I took all these photographs yesterday lunch time.

Office workers and shoppers¬†will pass the Lane everyday no doubt unaware¬†of its historical significance, totally oblivious¬†centuries earlier women working as prostitutes¬†frequented Gropecunt¬†Lane,¬†not me though¬†I find the fact¬†‘ladies of the Night’ plied their trade¬†there absolutely fascinating.¬†Yesterday¬†I could¬†just imagine women lent against the great wall, lifting¬†a skirt hem for the price a couple of groats and giving medieval punters a ‘knee trembler’, sounds romantic doesn’t it,¬†I’d guess the sex lasted seconds¬†leaving him with syphilis.

A fact I find even MORE intriguing,¬†Gropecunt Lane connects¬†St. Mary’s Church at the High Street entrance¬†with Merton College at the opposite end, I wonder how many University¬†students¬†frequented the¬†area?¬†And I’m intrigued as to why the alleyway¬†joins a Church to a College? Hmm makes you wonder!

As usual with all my posts I’ve¬†filmed video at the same time as taking these photographs then¬†uploaded via the wonders of WMM¬†onto my YouTube channel. Look closely¬†at the stone wall left¬†of entrance and I’m told¬†the structure is¬†likely to be original¬†as is the¬†majority of medieval¬†Oxford.

Quite evocative¬†don’t you think? Yes I know many of the buildings have been replaced but I believe the shops on the¬†right are quite a few centuries old and to the city planners credit they kept the thoroughfare intact, close your eyes, imagine and you can just make out the shadowy huddled figures of medieval hookers lent against the wall.

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2. Magpie Lane entrance from High Street

WordPress bloggers with a passion adore the English Language, many writers will have their own treasured and well thumbed thesaurus and dictionaries to hand, so I’m curious don’t you find the fact grope and cunt are still¬†used in our spoken language¬†today absolutely incredible, and 700 years¬†on both still¬†define a¬†‘vulva’ and a¬†‘fondling for sexual pleasure’……you have to admit usage apart that fact is pretty¬†impressive!

And how long has Google been in existence? Eleven years?

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3. A little further into the Lane

 

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4. Halfway looking towards Merton College in the distance

 

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5. Entrance walking from Merton College end. High Street in the distance. Original wall to the left

 

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6. Again Merton College entrance

 

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7. Looking towards the narrowing exit on to High Street

…..look closely at the yellow sandstone building in the distance…..St. Mary’s Church!

There you are! A very brief Oxford history lesson and what a truly wonderful phrase, grope-a-cunt-lane!

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Oxford Street map 1574, find St. Mary’s on the High Street and opposite is Gropecunt Lane

© Andrew

47 – Oxfordshire Countryside Photographs (taken by me August 2016)

All photographs and video © Blog Andrew.

Within walking distance from my home a small nature reserve has been created on the edge of Town, a lovely peaceful secluded area of natural habitat comprising of woods heathland and a lake populated by many wildfowl bird species, I guess the whole area covers a couple of square miles and is very popular with dog walkers bird watchers and swimmers during summer heat waves.

So having my camera handy I took¬†a selection¬†photographs also very short video¬†and uploaded onto my YouTube Channel (btw they’re identical views). I’m afraid the ‘vistas’ aren’t as spectacular as Tuscany or the plains of Africa, but they show typical English countryside.

If you were to join the following¬†7 photographs ‘end to end’¬†forming one straight¬†strip, you’ll have a panorama looking across heathland¬†and Oxfordshire farmland in the distance.

The YouTube video below¬†the¬†heath¬†panorama¬†photographs,¬†reveals the same¬†pictures but in film format¬†and narrated by me, I’m afraid I managed to obscure a row of nesting boxes fixed¬†on top of¬†posts¬†which¬†attract Barn Owls, and walkers if they’re lucky will see owls circling the heathland feeding for shrews and mice, I’ve been lucky and witnessed what is¬†quite a spectacular sight, I probably stood and watched for an hour,¬†but you have to visit late evening just before dusk.

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Photograph 1 of R-L panorama

 

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Photograph 2 of R-L panorama

 

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Photograph 3 of R-L panorama, the owl nesting posts are behind that bush!!!
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Photograph 4 of R-L panorama, Barn Owls in the evening fly circling the heathland looking for mice and shrews
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Photograph 5 of R-L panorama

 

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Photograph 6 of R-L panorama

 

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Photograph 7 of R-L panorama

 

If you were to join the following 3 photographs ‘end to end’ in one straight¬†strip, you’ll have a panorama view¬†looking across the lake toward heathland, or in other words you’ll be looking across the lake toward¬†my previous panorama……….I’m afraid all the Great Crested Grebe had disappeared…….clumsy me scared them off!

The YouTube video below is of the identical lake panorama filmed at the same time and narrated by me. Not very exciting apart from showing a typical English lake!

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Photograph 1 of R-L panorama
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Photograph 2 of R-L panorama
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Photograph 3 of R-L panorama

Imagery © Andrew

 

46 – The Winter Wonderland Tag

untitled-2Thank you to Ash for sharing the love also the shout out, here are my answers to The Winter Wonderland Tag created by Trisha Malone, quite an entertaining¬†series of questions¬†to while away an hour ūüôā

A trivia fact for you all, did you know list posts are one of the most popular themes on WordPress? Apparently so, people love reading list posts, creating their own and enjoy sharing answers to questions.

All a bit of fun, here are my answers.

The Questions:

1.  Do you like the cold?

NO!

2. Favourite part of winter.

Hmm that’s a difficult one, happiness is a personal choice, easy as that!

3. Does it snow where you live?

Yes, I live in a country (UK) which experiences 4 completely defined seasons.

  • Winter’s are¬†very cold and guaranteed snowy weather, I’ll take pictures.
  • Spring is milder often wet with broken sunshine.
  • Summers¬†can be¬†very hot, this year I even saw a lady doing her Supermarket shopping wearing a bikini top!!
  • Autumns are a mixture of the above, take your pick…but no¬†bikinis!

4. Favourite clothing item during winter?

Hat gloves and scarf, I enjoy winter walks in the countryside but I can’t stand the cold.

5. Favourite winter memory?

Family Christmas’s of years gone by, the years pass¬†and faces change in photographs taken around the dinner table, they used to be of my little brother and our Grandparents, now¬†my brother’s not so little with two fine sons and¬†mum and dad are the Grandparents………….life’s family cycle continues.

6. Favourite hot drink? 

A cup of tea, whether summer or winter the British love their cups of¬†tea, in fact we’re addicted.

7. Best winter book to read curled up in a blanket. (This is my favourite question)

Without question ‘A Christmas Carol’ by Charles Dickens,¬†and I read his short ‘Ghost Story’ written in 3 Staves every Christmas without fail. Forget all those TV and Film adaptations, especially The Muppet one!!!!!¬†Charles novel is a truly wonderful story which I heartily recommend and darker than you’d imagine, it’ll take but hours.

8. Best winter movie to watch?

Frank Capra’s ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’, I watch on my own out of sheer embarrassment simply because I can guarantee by the end I will be in floods of tears….and I’m not joking!

9. Do you do any winter sports?

Pub games, does that count?

10. Favourite Christmas/Holiday/New year tradition?

Being part of a family Christmas.

Andrew

45 – A quick post after having walked into Town

I hope you’re having a good weekend Andrew.

Here’s a muse? People write lol in their written sentences but are they actually laughing out loud? Funny old phrase, my age 10 nephew even applies lol¬†as an adjective¬†to¬†his spoken sentences…….now that is funny ūüėÄ

Earlier today¬†I’d google imaged and saved confusion photographs, I’m unsure as to why? Confused! But I’ll publish at any rate they make a change to the inspirational……..they amused¬†me this fine morning.

 

Andrew ‚̧

EROTICA – my original story

For context clarity and an understanding of what is true and what is fiction here¬†please read¬†my introduction post, if you don’t then I fear you won’t understand why and how I came to be in his bedroom. You just won’t!

Disclaimer, we¬†slept all night naked together but we didn’t have sex.

‘I was tired from travelling and hadn’t anywhere to sleep, the choice was stark¬†a park bench for the night or go home with him, so I chose him, I was just relieved to be safe.¬†Never doubt¬†though he’d¬†taken a chance, planned and plotted,¬†endangered his liberty and freedoms¬†as he probably did¬†every evening,¬†on the outside he appeared friendly, on the inside existed¬†a darker more predatory man, calculating and immoral,¬†but remember¬†as you follow¬†this story I did like him!

Nervously¬†I crept out of his¬†ensuite bathroom wearing only a towel round my waist,¬†clasping clothes bundled in my arms, my¬†comfort blanket, I’d just had a lovely warm skin tingling shower¬†only to be faced by the French¬†guy standing naked a few paces from me, and¬†to say I’m¬†startled no shocked¬†is¬†possibly the biggest¬†understatement ever,¬†but I sensed no hostility or aggression and his sweet smile betrayed nothing more than he was as nervous as I, seconds passed and he smiled, yes he had a friendly face¬†and feeling less anxious I smiled in return,¬†I’m a good judge of character and he’d been¬†a lovely guy this whole evening,¬†in fact he’d been a perfect gentleman ever since picking me up at the Station,¬†but¬†beneath¬†my very¬†invigorating shower I’d slowly come to my senses,¬†I finally understood he’d been more than very friendly striking up that conversation in the waiting room, he’d been cruising, I’d been picked up, the penny had dropped whilst hot water cascaded down my slim pink body, and I knew¬†as I’d suspected, at long last I¬†was sure¬†he was gay, I stopped and stood like a statue in the doorway, sh#t what happens now!

In retrospect, looking back to that evening, I¬†appear to judge him¬†more harshly now, his choice of lifestyle is¬†perhaps¬†more dishonest than I’d first though, he’d groomed me planned and plotted and still to this day that bothers me. All these years later¬†I really don’t care he’d visited a train station, ten minutes before the entrance doors were closed for the evening, a prison for the night, doors¬†to be opened early next morning, each night he¬†went looking¬†men and tonight I was he. But my new found distaste forgets one truth, if he hadn’t given me a bed for the night I would have been sleeping in a Le Mans Street, beaten or¬†robbed, a conundrum if ever there was one! But that’s now immaterial, I went home with him and¬†does it matter¬†he picked men up¬†to f#ck? If¬†he lives a life without harming anyone, doesn’t lie or cheat then¬†‘cruising’ is fine however unconventional¬†his life is by societies twisted standards, so yes he picked up men taking them home for consensual sex, well I had a bloody good feeling that’s what he expects, but so what he just lives his life that way, by a different set of rules it’s nobody else’s business but his own¬†………. AFTERALL WE’RE A LONG TIME DEAD!

However if he visited that¬†railway station every evening¬†to pickup young women solely for sex, tired single lonely fearful virginal¬†women, knowing the station would be soon closed is that different?……..yes but it shouldn’t BE.

Paul Avril 19th-century erotic interpretation ofHadrian and Antinous

Back to my tale, I’ve¬†walked out of his ensuite shower naked to be confronted by my Good Samaritan standing at the foot of his bed undressed and now slightly aroused, the tip of his dick, pulsating with fresh new blood, quivering, engorged, they have a mind of their own and his member wanted in my mouth or ass. My whole being was in a state of shock, disbelief¬†and confusion, there we both stood a few feet apart, two naked males, statuesque-like bodies¬†a soft shade of rose¬†pink but for¬†a mop of jet black hair sprouting from each others groin, compared to the gloriously proportioned female nude, mythological Greek goddesses, slim figures pert breasts¬†the sensual inward curve¬†toward her vulva,¬†lips of labia¬†disappearing between slightly parted thighs, dripping with salty nectar, in comparison to¬†a lady don’t male’s ‘bits and pieces’ seem well out of place? Oh if he’d only¬†been a woman I would have knelt at her feet, licked sucked and nuzzled her warm wet slit……………….. then an electrified synapse in my brain shook my paralysed mind into reality, here stood a naked man before me! Oh f#ck!!!

(I’m slightly wishing I’d chosen my soon to be lover a woman, no going back Andrew!)

The guy in my tale is cuddly bear of a¬†man, he¬†resembled a 12 year old with all traces of pubic hair removed from his body, quite sweet not effeminate, I dislike limp wristed men, he’s gay and that’s ok by me. He¬†looked¬†at me¬†a welcoming smile crossed his face,¬†now¬†having regained my sanity I could see he carried a slight paunch but he was¬†still rather well toned, in fact quite¬†a good looking handsome guy, with Gallic face slightly died hair¬†…..hmmm about¬†50! For what seemed an age my heartbeat raced as¬†we looked¬†at each other,¬†then he’d drop his gaze, eyes¬†following the contours of my¬†body to my waist, stop, then a little further to my pelvis, I knew exactly what¬†he’s fixated with¬†a look of longing towards¬†my groin, a pursing of the lips, I didn’t feel uncomfortable though, all anxiety was gone and I could feel my¬†inhibitions dissipating. Ive never thought myself gay in fact I knew I wasn’t gay, I adored women, but tonight I felt¬†alive, a mixture of danger and excitement, and yes electricity now¬†coursing through my veins,¬†wow¬†I could feel my genitals tingling, must be all those thousands of stimulated nerve endings……. unnoticed¬†he’d moved slowly toward me pausing¬†looking into my eyes,¬†this guy for I still don’t know his name was only inches away,¬†by now he must have sensed I¬†found him attractive?¬†Perhaps¬†all evening he’d dreamed of having his wicked way with me, using my body¬†as he desired,¬†or more worryingly perhaps he was a predatory man who ever since the first minute he set eyes on me, groomed me, the¬†only thought on his mind sex………. but I don’t care, none of that matters now!

My heart¬†pounding¬†I could feel the warmth of his¬†body against mine his arms now wrapped around my waist, soft¬†genitals pressing against my own,¬†the thought of kissing a man had always repulsed me but now I felt¬†his breath on my lips,¬†a waft of¬†cologne¬†inside my nostrils so different to the scent of female perfume. The whole evening he’d taken¬†a lead, made the first move, I was out of my depth and¬†this Frenchman¬†knew it, I sensed he understood with crystal clarity I was his tonight, our lips touched,¬†gently at first, then as passions stirred¬†he became more forceful and¬†eager finally eating at my face, Jesus he’s an animal! But tonight I was open to new experiences,¬†I will go wherever he takes me, exchanging saliva with another man¬†excited me turned me on. So we kissed for a while longer cheek to cheek each others stubble stimulating the skin, our heads¬†moving rhythmically side to side, his eyes¬†tight shut¬†mine¬†wide open, I’ve always enjoyed fucking women with my eyes open, so¬†close to hers they’re unable to focus.

He pulled away,¬†broke the silence finally asking my name, “You never said what your name is?”

“You never asked……….it’s Paul” I replied.

Then he whispered in my ear “Paul do you want to suck my dick?” I¬†recoiled away from him in disgust, only his arms around my waist held me from falling back into his bathroom, I¬†pulled away further breaking his strong clasp,¬†tried to leave him then glanced down at his erect member, I couldn’t, this was a step tooo far, I needed time to allow my thoughts to catch up with¬†a¬†brain¬†now in a time lag the adrenaline¬†flowing through every part of my body excited me even more,¬†I too¬†was beginning to become aroused glancing at¬†his face then looking at his groin then¬†his slightly chubby face again, umm I’ve seen worse dicks¬†inside a men’s shower room, nude men have never bothered me. I’d now successfully mastered my momentary time warp and my brain had finally caught up with reality, I glanced down again feeling mildly shocked, I to was standing erect, I moved closer again, our erect genitals touched now trapped against each others thighs, we embraced again, arms enveloping each others hips, soft red succulent lips wet with minty saliva gorging at each other, so pleased I’d brushed my teeth, secure in his arms all inhibitions melting away we kissed again and again.

Yep this evening no question I was gay, no I’ll qualify that with bi sexual, I’ve always and still do think we’re a mixture of sexual orientation, a definitive line in the sand doesn’t exist, or perhaps tonight, being carried away in the excitement of unknown pleasures had clouded my standards and judgement?

“No I cannot” I answered, “it’s not you, you’ve been lovely sweet and kind ever since you picked me up, but I’m not gay”¬† I said¬†my eyes now slightly moist at the now lie,¬† “I’m sorry I cannot take you in my mouth, I don’t want to and please don’t make me.”

“Shush now that’s ok my sweet English friend we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to”¬†as he¬†pressed his body even¬†closer to mine, his strong arms wrapped around me squeezing me so tightly a reflex motion pushed my hands forward holding either side of his waist, that felt nice, he was carrying a few pounds and I guess I was¬†clasping¬†his¬†love handles. We kissed some more, our lips wet with saliva pressed¬†tight against each other, I gulped and gulped again, then I felt his tongue force itself into my mouth the tip¬†entwine with mine. He slid his strong hands up and down my back,¬†stroking and massaging¬†the skin¬†until gripping my buttocks so hard I whimpered “ouch”. Panting heavily I did the same, sexual excitement¬†consuming my body,¬†a lustful virgin¬†wanting to learn¬†more carrying¬†me on a wave of ecstasy, I knew whatever was about to happen tonight I wouldn’t be the same man in the morning, I was his, I was happy and¬†smiling to myself¬†I mused ‘what next?’ Now all inhibitions were gone, I was enjoying exploring and loving his body, God his round buttocks were so plump firm and slightly hairy, I didn’t mind, gay or not they felt just like a woman’s, so smooth and round. Now our bodies were¬†as one,¬†chest and thighs¬†touching, our forearms and hands behind each other, my lips devouring his. Then he did something quite unexpected,¬†gripping my buttocks firmly, hands dividing my cheeks,¬†his fingers slipped into¬†the crack of my ass.¬†I didn’t flinch he knew I didn’t mind. He pulled his head back from mine, with his eyes averting my gaze he spat a large blob of saliva into his¬†hands rubbing its wetness between his fingers. He motioned his arm around my waist again pulling my body tightly against his,¬†I felt is ball sack gently whip and bounce against mine, my heart pounding¬†so hard I knew what was coming next then a fearful thought crossed my mind, ‘was¬†I about¬†to have a heart attack’ take my final breath embraced in a strange arms, in a foreign far away¬†land?

Then my whole body flinched, rising skywards, a mild convulsion making me stand on tip toes, his fingers were¬†between the cracks of my ass again and pressed against my butt hole, seconds passed then my body began to relax after its virgin¬†involuntary homoerotic spasm. His lips pulled away………..¬†calmly asking in soft French tones, “You know what I want but I have to ask! Do you mind?”……I shook my head mouth wide open, his fingers pressing the opening, sending tingles up my spine! “I don’t mind”, I smiled.

I couldn’t kiss anymore my head was in a spin so I rested¬†my chin on¬†his shoulder¬†as he¬†methodically slowly and gently inserted two fingers deep¬†inside my anus, so far they touched pressed against¬†my prostate, our bodies embraced harder than ever. “Jesus Christ wholly fuck!” I shouted¬†ecstasy in¬†my voice,¬†an oh so pleasurable¬†feeling¬†emanated from the firm hard walnut shaped organ in my body, continuing to pulse along the whole shaft of my penis, I recognised the orgasmic waves of joy, I had never been so erect and hard in my life, like a rod of iron, my body had never been so electrified and alive as he¬†stroked his finger along the surface of my prostate, I felt like I wanted to pee but didn’t.

Minutes of overwhelming pleasure happiness and blissful euphoria consumed my body, my only thought ‘don’t stop, love me,¬†I want this¬†rapture for all¬†eternity’,¬†while my French guy and I¬†lovingly embracing each other my chin resting on his collar bone, biting his neck, his playful fingers inside my ass, yes he’d groomed¬†me from beginning to here,¬†he’d made moves, led the way¬†but I didn’t mind, just think I could have lived my whole life oblivious to the carnal pleasure only a man could give.

He quietly asked again waking me from a dream, “Paul, would you like me to f#ck you?”

OMG!!!¬†I felt a tightening in my stomach,¬†what had I gotten myself into, my second understatement of the evening, an hour ago I was sitting on a railway platform bench and now I was being sexually propositioned, he’d asked, I was consenting but never once that evening had I felt in danger for my life. My mind and imagination were spinning like a child’s top now, fingers wriggling deep inside my ass,¬†eyes wide open, the dimly lit d√©cor a coloured blur around the periphery of my vision, to this day I don’t know why I said the word “yes” but¬†I did, this involuntary reflection¬†came loudly from my mouth, without me trying to stifle or stop. His arms and hands dropped to his waist as he pulled away, I was a little taken aback by his instant rejection, then he rather tooo quickly¬†motioned across the bedroom carpet, opened a desk draw, hands rummaging amongst clothing, he was searching for something and I had a feeling I knew what!! Then he¬†found what he was looking for and¬†held a small white plastic square to the light, excitedly saying “oui” with his find, all the time me standing statuesque my feet welded to¬†the carpet, and oh yes, f#ck me yes, I knew exactly what he was holding!

Heart in my mouth I knew what was coming next as he rushed around the bedroom a blur of activity, I¬†palpably saw a sexual frenzy overwhelm his being,¬†moving so fast as if worried I’d leave, turning bathroom lights off shutting bedroom¬†doors a whirlwind of activity going on around me.¬†But a¬†calm had enveloped my consciousness, my breath slowed now¬†normal again. I¬†can remember¬†thinking with perfect crystal clear clarity,¬†this is¬†my¬†final moment of choice, sexual intercourse, screwed for the first time in my virgin ass¬†or say no, simple as that, there was no confusion, no ambiguous catch 22 his penis inserted¬†up my ass in ten seconds time, or say “non” right now!

The next 5 seconds went on for an age, you’ll have experienced this stalling of time, I’m told¬†during a car crash time stops still, now I felt like I had a lifetime to make a choice, and it was my choice no backing out now. ………..my answer¬†was a simple yes, uncomplicated as it sounds, answering yes to sex was all I needed to say, tomorrow is the time for regrets, ‘in for a penny in for a pound’ amusedly crossed my mind, a funny English phrase, and why not, life is now regrets come later.¬†Furious activity complete he slowly walked toward me having ripped open the packet¬†only stopping to¬†unfurl¬†the shiny latex along his hard pre coital¬†shaft, complete with dark¬†purple bell end.¬†Now standing¬†in front of me¬†I noticed his skin¬†shimmered and glistened, he was sweating and breathless but with¬†a face carrying¬†a rather worried expression.

“Paul?”, he questioned me, he’d neglected me, allowed me to think for myself for 5 seconds and now I could see the panic in his eyes, would I say no, but with a slight smile and resigned nod of my head I said “I’m ok”, mind you¬†I wasn’t as keen as I once was! His eyes lit up like a child opening a present on xmas day, I’d never seen him so pleased and animated that made¬†me smile,¬†both¬†at peace¬†all tension between us disappeared like ether.

“Laydown” he said smiling,¬†motioning towards the bed, thinking back now¬†yes I reluctantly wearily took steps toward his double bed,¬†feeling the soft brown sheets in my hands as I crawled onto his¬†mattress and dutifully laying on my belly.¬†Out¬†the corner of my eye I¬†could see him pick up a large white bottle¬†taken from the top of an oak table, fuck I knew what that was as I turned my head to look against the opposing wall. I closed my eyes and felt the bed bounce up and down as he sat kneeling alongside my midriff, a heavier man than I first thought! Then¬†I heard the recognisable sound of gel¬†squirting from a pump action bottle top. God he’s not gonna massage me like those Croydon hookers I¬†visit?¬†No¬†I knew what was happening next, repeating ‘yes’ to comfort myself,¬†a feeling of calm overwhelmed me, joyous chemicals secreted my mind coursed my body, I was ready, my¬†intimate passage now receptive to a virginal pleasure never experienced before, emotionless happy without fear or¬†trepidation at last I relaxed,¬†I DID want him inside me, do the dirty deed, f#ck me in the ass!

Still seated by my side, lights dimmed, bedroom warm and cosy, he turned and swung his strong thigh across the small of my back, now sitting straddling my legs, groin pressed between the cheeks of my succulent peachy ass, ripe for dividing in two, receptive to his seed. With hands either side of my turned head, I closed my eyes then seconds later I felt the tip of his erection push through between my squeezed together buttocks, rim of foreskin rubbing the skin coming to rest against my closed hole. My whole body convulsed in shock as the cold sticky gel pressed against the opening!

“Paul” he whispered with a hushed French accent, “Relax”, but I couldn’t, every muscle¬†around my groin¬†and buttocks clenched, he sat back a little¬†then gently massaged my shoulder muscles allowing all tensions to release, minutes passed and¬†a calm overcame me, a drowsiness as if my consciousness and eyelids requested sleep. But I didn’t! He was following all the signals coming from my body, he was skilfully playing me as if I were a musical instrument between the fingers of his hands,¬†sensing I was¬†ready he pushed his torso forward again at the same time his two hands placed either side of my head again holding the bridge of his chubby frame,¬†absorbed into¬†quilt and foam.

“Relax” he said more firmly and I obliged. now I felt the tip of his shaft again press against the most intimate part of¬†a male’s¬†body, then gently slid¬†inside, the soft anus flesh parted and¬†God the¬†first inch was painful,¬†my sphincter relaxed and his hole member,¬†now lubricated¬†slipped¬†down¬†my rectum all cold and wet. Jesus! He paused and we lay motionless coupled pre coital, then his pelvis began to rhythmically¬†slowly rock back and forth both hands supporting his weight pressing into my pillow. Faster and faster he¬†pushed,¬†pulling¬†his penis out, only to¬†poke back in pressing even deeper, violating me deflowering me ¬†buggering me, but I loved the pain I enjoyed¬†the¬†discomfort my rectum now full, me¬†grimacing under the now powerful near violent stabbing of his penis as his groin hit my cheeks. Now he was hurting with each brutal thrust,¬†the whole 9 inches momentarily touch my bladder making me want to pee, but I stopped myself through sheer blind concentration. He was now like a wild animal thrusting back and forth in an animalistic primeval sexual frenzy, gasping for air, drops of sweat falling from his forehead onto my neck, quicker and harder he rode, sodomising¬†my anus, and it hurt the full weight of his heavy torso forcing his hard large dick for he was a man of great¬†girth inside me. With every thrust I squealed eyelids tightly close teeth biting the soft cotton bedsheet, only for him to pull¬†the pillow from under my head and toss across the room. Although my body was writhing in discomfort,¬†my mind was crystal clear, my¬†prostate stinging burning hot. Now he was fucking me so hard I thought¬†I may¬†lose consciousness, THEN his groin convulsed, his body momentarily in a spasm as my anus contracted in unison, I felt the veins of his penis against the inner walls as his throbbing member pumped¬†its silky cream¬†deep inside me and we¬†screamed¬†together a mixture of joyous¬†agony.

Now¬†the rhythmic rocking of his pelvis a top of mine slowed, he caught his breath¬†and I felt the bulb of his condom grow large pressed against the inner organs of my body, all fear palpably dispersed, thank god he’d worn a condom, I’d forgotten, I’d trusted him, hookers tell me some men pull them off the moment before cumming, the rape makes them cry¬†and only at the moment of orgasmic climax did I think Christ what if! Recovering composure his breath weakening, shoulders above mine arms like the¬†overhanging canopy of a weeping willow, his hands like tips of branches touching the ground, now all was¬†quietmy Frenchman silent not a muscle moving but our bodies still coupled his quivering member giving me every last drop, seconds passed and I began to feel agitated, “are you ok” I asked, then I sensed is body arch as he pulled out a softening dick,¬†the two of us no longer¬†joined¬†as one¬†living gasping animal my anus red and sore. Spent and pleasured he brought his right thigh up and across my¬†spine, tossed the condom away¬†and exhausted lay on his back beside me eyes closed, I gazed at him he oblivious to my¬†stare and thought to myself ‘so this is how I appear moments after sex, worn-out serene¬†satisfied!’ But as I’d always suspected, he was a man devoid of intimacy and affection¬†blindly oblivious to me laying beside him, I’d been used, my body violently penetrated¬†and now he was going to sleep,¬†I’m a realist¬†by nature,¬†pragmatic I never let my guard down¬†never let my heart rule my head,¬†tonight I understood all, but instead of sleeping the podgy¬†bastard could have chatted ūüėÄ

LOL.

The¬†remaining¬†hours passed uneventfully, he asleep and me motionless laying on my back eyes fixed on the worm like cable¬†flex attached to a light bulb, still a¬†dull orange having been dimmed, wide awake I tried to rationally process what happened earlier, but I had no regrets sex emotionally means little to me, I fuck a prostitute then leave never to return, what happened between us was sex and little no nothing more. I felt no love for the guy no loving bond, he didn’t repulse me and nether did I much care for him, we’d f#cked so what I’ve paid hookers and sex is the same, complete emotional detachment, satisfying my carnal lust then we both go our separate ways each instantly forgetting the other, me ¬£60 lighter. I smiled to myself at least this time was free! Perhaps most men would feel disgust their¬†ass being so hellishly lovingly violated, but I’m not most men, I’m open to new experiences and I can detach sex from any thoughts of connecting with someone’s soul, believe me when I say I can fuck someone, feel no attachment then walk away satisfied with my conscience clear.¬†My mind at ease¬†I drifted into a deep sleep!

The sexual experience doesn’t bother me in the slightest, doesn’t play on my mind, doesn’t upset me. Orientation is¬†of no consequence, if¬†a guy is appealing and you’re both game sex is fine, I wonder how many of you have gay fantasies but don’t admit?

Now back to WHAT REALLY HAPPENED that summers evening! WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED in France! WHAT HONESTLY TRUTHFULLY HAPPENED in his bedroom!

As we lay on his bed together unclothed, both¬†nude and¬†totally naked, sleeping side by side all night¬†and yes chatting¬†would have been nice! I’ll never forgive him for deceiving me, he wasn’t being friendly at all, if I’d met and offered a weary traveller a bed for the night, he’d have been¬†given my spare bedroom, I’d have made him something to eat, brewed a pot of tea for us both,¬†let him take a shower, hunted the house for maps and bus timetables, put clothes in the washing machine, made him breakfast maybe even a sandwich for¬†his dinner, dropped him at the Station setting him straight for the day, I’d have been a Good Samaritan, I certainly wouldn’t have waited outside the bathroom door naked and asked “can I suck your dick”. Joking apart for many months after I slipped into a depression, shamed with¬†what-ifs.

Looking back as of now, today, I think the whole sorry episode absolutely wonderful, I close my eyes¬†seeing him again standing naked, with a hard-on, looking me in the eye, ‘cocked and ready to go’¬†and I never fail to laugh, and the fact¬†I stripped off and¬†went¬†to bed with him is¬†ABSOLUTELY F#CKING HILARIOUS!¬†And yes he asked to suck my dick, now how many men can say that. PRICELESS!

The following morning. We dressed without speaking and¬†he drove me all the way back to the railway station in his Renault Twingo with not a word of conversation between us, no hate or malice just nothing to say, we arrived at the station said our¬†goodbyes and I’ve never heard or seen of him since! If that sounds all to short a story, as if I’d run¬†dry of creativity, the answer’s no, that’s what happened we rose together, dressed, he dropped me at the train station and we went are separate ways.

He was a nice guy, a bit of a bastard but yes a sweet man.

So how did I do? Passably entertaining, a guy picking up weary male travellers with the promise of a bed and shower but knowing his wicked intention was consensual sex.

Original story © Andrew

EROTICA – introduction to my original story

Submissive-Male-Fucked-by-MenAfter writing and ‘posting’¬†Helen’s Striptease¬†I’ve been temporarily bitten by a story telling bug, don’t worry I’ll get better!

Residing in my Drafts, loved, surviving deletion rests my first and final, one and only, original fictional story © ME, and incidentally sooon to be uploaded here, fingers crossed a few of you will enjoy reading because it was fun writing and took frigging hours to edit!

Bare in mind please my tale IS loosely based around true events.

© Andrew.

‘I was led never manipulated always willing’

I challenged myself to write a fictional story and took the challenge very seriously, it began life genre erotica but soon became sexually explicit very explicit the result being probably more airplane Terminal bookshop than serious literature, no matter erotica it was to be.

Erotica, def. Noun. Erotic art or literature

However 4700 words and many hours later I’d¬†gotten carried away with myself and as a consequence my tale evolved,¬†let me explain, 20 years ago, I know a long time ago¬†but¬†stay along for the ride no pun intended,¬†whilst still a young man I’d toured central France by train, on my own I might add with¬†only a rucksack and tent for company. Well¬†a good way into¬†my travels, and having missed all connections, I found myself sitting alone inside a provincial railway station waiting room, Le Mans Town to be exact and note¬†the¬†terminus clock was 10.55pm¬†a time¬†worth knowing!

So I’m sitting on a bench seat extremely tired, muscle achingly weary, completely exhausted, totally disorientated and yes frightened. Why?¬†Because I hadn’t anywhere to stay that late June evening worse still¬†the station¬†was now emptying¬†soon to¬†close,¬†consequently I knew within minutes¬†I’d be out on the Street,¬†alone at night, wandering a foreign city in pitch dark.

Fretting, with only minutes before staff evacuated what few passengers remained, a middle aged guy with dyed brown wispy fine hair, for some reason I’ll never forget the hair, sits down next to me, btw¬†quite good looking,¬†and starts chatting in hard to follow near incompressible broken sentence English, and slightly bewildered¬†by this¬†disorientating friendly introduction we struck up a ridiculous conversation¬†until 11.05pm.

Only when sitting in his Renault Twingo,¬†being driven to his house did¬†I finally question why¬†my Good Samaritan friend¬†had been wandering around a waiting room 5 minutes before closing, only when sitting¬†alongside¬†him speeding¬†around Le Mans backstreets did¬†reality dawn on me he’d been seeking out, grooming, hoping¬†to pickup¬†a weary young backpacker. Me. Doh¬†it slowly dawned on me his whole evening had been¬†mapped out, he’d been¬†cruising for young men and¬†remember I¬†hadn’t spotted he was gay, a fact rather important to the tale.

Na√Įvely and stupidly getting into a car with a single guy I didn’t know,¬†in France, then driving to his home late at night was and is pure madness,¬†in fact¬†my stupidity¬†brought about a depression¬†which¬†affected me for¬†many months afterward but my tale doesn’t stop there though, oh no, consumed¬†in¬†what I’d describe as a¬†‘whirlwind’¬†I followed him into his home¬†and slept naked in his bed with him naked alongside me, so¬†up to¬†THIS point my story is true as told, but from there on in the rest is pure fiction because combining¬†actual true events¬†with fiction seemed a fun idea, well my completed tale will be uploaded soon!

That much is TRUE.

Jeez I don’t half witter on!!¬†…………but please don’t expect tooo much, humour me!

Andrew ūüôā

To be continued…………………..

42 – A curiosity for D @ WSU

Good evening Miss¬†D ūüôā , call this short post a curiosity and nothing more,¬†humour me you know the saying¬†‘little things please little minds ūüėÄ Do you remember our conversation¬†relating to¬†tidiness? Possibly not, here’s your neatness reply which made me smile and yes I consider¬†‘in apple-pie order’¬†an art form, (nice phrase in apple-pie order that’s a new one on me! Oh yes your reply,

Miss D. ‘Andrew, are you saying you‚Äôre THAT O.C.D. about neatness?! lol’

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Well afterwards the state of my work bench at the ‘blank’ crossed my mind, and btw I haven’t ‘staged’ the above picture, my work area really is that untidy! I’m told off lol for it ūüėÄ

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Now compare to my colleague’s bench¬†on the left,¬†immaculate ordered neat! What’s to do¬†Miss D? I fear I’m a lost cause.

Anyways, our conversation amused me.

Have a good evening Andrew.

41 – My Town in photographs part 1 – Church Green

ūüôā I’ve been looking back through my posts and as you’re well aware by now I have NO common thread weaving through this¬†blog so¬†helping¬†readers try to figure out what an earth they are supposed lol to be following, all¬†I can¬†probably guarantee is the next upload will be completely different to the previous if you get my drift.

Scrolling through my posts reading feedback¬†and the number of views, I¬†can see¬†my photographs are quite popular which is¬†very gratifying¬†and¬†especially with people¬†resident in¬†different Countries, and I’m exactly the same, I love¬†looking at¬†other¬†bloggers very own photographs of their home surroundings, makes¬†the blogging experience seem more personal.

So here’s another selection,¬†incidentally all¬†photographed and owned by me ¬© Andrew and yes for once there is a commonality,¬†all are taken from or close to Church Green which is the oldest area of my Town, and if you’re interested¬†the Town which shall remain nameless is¬†situated in the heart of rural Southern England……… one of the Shires!

These were all taken one day back in August 2016, and on reflection my little Fuji ‘point and shoot’ camera takes quite good pictures when the sun’s out, crap battery though!

 

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St. Mary the Virgin, Church of England faith

 

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Alms Houses built by Town’s wealthy wool merchants for the poor

 

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Church photographed from behind

 

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I’m standing¬†to the edge of a recreation ground¬†donated to the Town commemorating soldiers who gave their lives in the 1914-18 war

 

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12:10 pm and yes the Church has bells, very loud ones, if the wind is blowing in the right direction I can hear them from my home

 

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The Church is to my left, I’m looking down an avenue of trees with my old school in the distance

 

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Again the Church is to my right, you are looking at the original Police Station, read the writing on the wall!

 

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Alms Houses again in the Cemetery

 

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This photo brings back memories, age 15 whilst bunking off school I came out of the gates and there standing behind a pillar Mr Slay (teacher) ¬†caught me, I received a week’s detention for that stunt!

 

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The Church is to my right and you are looking down the Lane where incidentally our Veterinary surgery is situated

 

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The Church is behind me, looking towards the Town Centre

 

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A photo taken from ground level perspective

 

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The old Police Station, school gates and Church to the left

 

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…….and finally ‘The Buttercross’, Church Green is now way to the left of me, and as the name suggests many years ago dairy products from surrounding farms were sold¬†from The Buttercross. These days schoolchildren sit on the steps laughing talking and doing what teenagers do!

© Andrew

40 – Secrets and Lies (1996), one of my favourite Movies

Note. The 1996 British Movie ‘Secrets and Lies’ is NOT to be confused with the present day ABC Television Series of the same name the Movie¬†being a family drama and¬†the US TV¬† investigated mystery Series, they’re totally different in every respect.

  • Director: Mike Leigh.
  • Writer: Mike Leigh.
  • Actors: A Cast of virtually unknown actors which soon changed after release.

Awards and nominations of which there are many many more!

  • Nominated for 6 Oscars.
  • Winner of 3 BAFTA’s.
  • Winner of Palme d’Or at Cannes.

One of many memorable scenes (below) filmed moments before the big family secret is revealed to a watching audience.

‘Secrets and Lies’ official movie trailer (below)

Movie reviews are intrinsically difficult to write, just¬†watch a selection on the¬†internet¬†or written by professional critics in newspapers and you see they can’t agree, their accounts will¬†all be different simply because we all like different genres, all our likes are deeply personal, for example I enjoy ensemble family drama’s whereas¬†your personal favourites might be James Bond or Musicals, makes life more interesting don’t you think!

However we’d all agree a movie¬†has to be both watchable enjoyable and written around a great story,¬†humans since the dawn of time have loved reading and telling stories to each other, film is no different and that applies to every culture around the Globe.

rrrrrrrr Totten tomatoes rated would you believe 94% positive! Yes true!

I’m going to ask you a question,¬†Rotten Tomatoes is probably the most respected movie review website on the planet, so with that in mind would you call me lazy for sharing their own plot description rather than my own? I only say this because I’d love you to watch Secrets and Lies¬†but would hate to ruin any chance¬†of that happening¬†just because I wrote a crap review, is that fair?

‘Mike Leigh’s Palme D’Or-winning tale of love caring and deep longings is introduced by the director. Hortense is a young Black optometrist. Both her adoptive parents have died and she decides to find her birth mother, who turns out to be Cynthia, an unmarried woman who lives in a terraced house with her daughter Roxanne. Hortense tracks Cynthia down and, after a fraught first meeting, a warm mother-daughter relationship begins to develop. Meanwhile, Cynthia’s brother Maurice and his childless wife Monica decide to throw a party for Roxanne’s 21st. Cynthia asks if she can bring a friend and invites a reluctant Hortense. In a traumatic moment Cynthia reveals the truth, and all hell breaks loose.’ (Courtesy of Rotten Tomatoes).

So there you are, perhaps sharing RT’s excellent description instead of writing my own is lazy of me but at least I¬†informed you and didn’t copy, oh how I hate plagiarism, stealing other peoples thoughts and then attributing them¬†as ones own is a wicked crime.

In conclusion

So rather than try and explain the reasons why I love Secrets and Lies so dearly, perhaps judge my opinion and recommendation completely by the replies and comments I write in response to your posts, I reveal an awful lot of myself here lol! Perhaps many of you understand more about me than I fully appreciate and I might add vice versa, but if you do wish to know a little more, have critics give the plot away, then go to the internet and read the many excellent professional critics opinions out there, because I can tell you critics universally love Secrets and Lies 1996.

Please watch, trust me you will enjoy a very warm sweet and caring film and keep in mind all families, including my own, possess deep dark secrets which perhaps if they were more openly discussed then life would be so much more fulfilling enjoyable and a f#cking darn sight easier!!

(By the way contains no sex or violence, no guns, no car chases, mild swearing and you may quite possibly cry so have tissues at hand!)

Andrew

39 – Leonard Cohen – Suzanne

Canadian singer, songwriter and poet Leonard Cohen has died aged 82, the news was announced on his official Facebook page.

10.55 am I switched on BBC Radio News at work today and the poem¬†‘Suzanne’ was playing¬†so¬†I listened because I love the song so, then when the song finished¬†the announcer said he’d passed away ;( Leonard Cohen has died and the world is a much poorer place without him.

I must admit I’ve never been a fan of ‘Halleluiah’, it’s a great poem but I’m not religious that’s all, but I’ve always loved ‘Suzanne’, finally here’s something¬†Leonard said which speaks volumes of the man!

“This is a song I wrote a very long time ago, I feel very good about this song and I’ll tell you why, it’s a song that people loved, and fortunately the rights of it were stolen from me, so um I thought that was perfectly justified because¬†it would be wrong to write this song and get rich from it to!¬†But¬†I’m happy for that friend who put¬†that piece of paper in front of me and said sign this!

So I said to him¬†“what is this?”

He said “oh just the standard writers contract”

So I signed it and it was gone”. (Leonard Cohen on losing his song Suzanne)

His words were¬†accompanied with a wry knowing smile, monetarily he’d lost an absolute¬†fortune¬†however he’d given the world a beautiful love poem, in these avaricious times what a lovely epitaph.

Andrew

38 – I took Holly for a Walk in the Park

I’d like to share¬†these photographs with you especially if you read and commented¬†a ‘Lucy the collie’ post written the same evening I received a certain telephone call. If you don’t understand my rather cryptic reference don’t worry it’s rather a long story ūüôā

Holly missed her friend for a couple of days afterwards, she’d go room to room looking for¬†Lucy confused as to where she’d¬†disappeared to¬†but lol she seems to have forgotten her now, such is life. Here’s a few pictures of us in the park today with her tennis ball, she’ll chase and fetch a ball all day long if you let her, anyways all is well.

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Andrew

37 – I’ve been nominated

liebster-2016My WordPress friend¬†vinnieh¬† writes ‘Movie Reviews and¬†anything else that comes to mind’, so he’s a little like me in the second¬†respect except he’s a great writer and I genuinely mean that, but I enjoy myself and that’s all that counts isn’t it.

Well vinnieh has nominated me for the Leibster Award, I’ll have to go research this a little, most kind vinnieh here’s my answers to your questions.

  1. Which book, that hasn‚Äôt been made into a film, would you love to see be made into one? Alas I’m not a great book reader to my shame,¬†but¬†I would like a Movie made from a story that first originated on WordPress……that’d be cool, one I’d read myself.
  2. Do you have any nicknames? Yes at work I’m¬†called either¬†Andy or Bart, the name Bart derives from The Simpsons¬†due to¬†vowel and consonant similarities?
  3. When someone says happiness, what do you think of? My mother said when my brother and I were both born all she wished was we’d be happy. Jury’s still out¬†with me:(
  4. Have you ever sunbathed naked? Yes, I’ll maybe rewrite a true story I first shared on my first blog………..it involves masturbation.
  5. What is your biggest pet hate? Rudeness in others.
  6. Which country would you most love to visit? Anywhere hot.
  7. What type of ice-cream is your favourite? Mint chocolate.
  8. In your opinion, what makes someone sexy? Ahh NO one should ask me that¬†question cause if you know me (P) I’d get carried away, I’d write a post! Sexy one day can be big tits, plump¬†ass, hip displacement or hair colour,¬†on others a ladies sweet smile¬†and sense of humour or maybe a shaven pussy.
  9. What is the most rock n roll thing you have ever done? God that’s hard cause I’m unfortunately not a risk taker…..if I’m honest perhaps I should go take a risk.
  10. Which accent could you listen to all day? French, I work with a 20 year old young lady from France…..I could listen to her all day.
  11. And finally, what do you enjoy the most about my blog? The excellent Movie Reviews.

Andrew

36 – Helen’s Striptease – voyeur pt 4

Disclaimer. This tale © Andrew is true then again maybe this story is fictional? The house could be mine or perhaps a previous home or fictitious? Either way the lady across the Street herein is over age 18. Well over 18!

I hope you enjoy, editing has been an age and it’s the closest I’ll come to writing a story ‚̧

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Googled image……..every post has to have a picture!

‘Through slightly parted curtains I propped myself up¬†against the¬†bedroom¬†window¬†sill and looked across the¬†fields behind the house opposite, tonight I was watching a truly spectacular thunder and lightening display,¬†mother nature’s power can be truly awe inspiring………….

………..¬†below this¬†display of¬†electric¬†lightening and bedroom rocking thunder a bright light suddenly¬†appeared¬†from the third story bedroom window opposite, an angled¬†rooftop window set against grey tiles¬†the¬†white light so bright it woke¬†me from¬†my daydream, so what vision did my focusing eyes see? There¬†before me in clear close view was the silhouette of a slim¬†auburn haired middle aged lady standing waist up behind her window sill………. I knew her to speak to as my neighbour across the Street, a lady called Helen, 45ish attractive in a mummy sort of way, I fancied her of course¬†and she’s happily married¬†but I wouldn’t say no if she asked, I’ve seen her picking up leaves in the front garden and she’s a handsome figure of a woman, a sexy young looking 45 year old.

Quickly, in a state of nerves and¬†shock, my mind trying to process what the f#ck was happening over the road, I ran and rummaged through a draw for my binoculars, God knows how I didn’t break my neck on the laminate floor, then quick as a flash I regained position and hands shaking drew lens to my eyes. I can remember clearly the moment Helen’s bright window appeared, crystal clear and pin sharp, so close now¬†I could make out expressions on her¬†face and¬†the room within, my heart pounding I propped my elbows on the sill and watched!!!!! I’d¬†seen tits down blouses before, by chance mind, but now I was a proper voyeur lol.

I’ve watched Helen¬†before but seeing her tonight was a whole lot different, I assumed this was her spare room but I’ve no idea it being situated above my eye line¬†and set well back behind¬†Street’s view, no one but me could see¬†Helen and¬†she certainly knew¬†I wouldn’t be watching however I was, all very Hitchcock’s Rear Window! Well tonight for about 25 minutes or so she went about her homely duties, mainly carrying bundles of clothes around the room, folding sheets. Putting clean washing in draws?¬†Who knows, just understand Helen was busy and I’m excited,¬†both engrossed and fascinated I noticed¬†she’d pause time to time under the apex of this small cramped space, stopping aside the smallish square open window, blind open, visible waist up, me watching.

Each time she’d stopped¬†to pause¬†for a second I could see she was wearing a skin tight tee shirt so figure hugging I could see the profile of her bosom but of course I could see no lower. Observing her was enough and I wasn’t masturbating, she looked so lovely against this bright white light, quiet deep in thought a side of her I’d never witnessed, a sexy lady and I fancied her ūüė¶

Well after a few minutes of innocent voyeurism all the more exciting because the female recipient wasn’t aware, she paused again¬†and¬†did something so shocking I remember¬†swallowing hard and the binoculars trembling, Helen suddenly¬†pulled up her shirt from the waist moving her arms skywards stripping off the garment over her head, then she held it up to the light (not window) looked at it then folded and threw to her side, at this point I was totally stunned, gobsmacked, I couldn’t believe I was actually watching her undress, the first and only time in my life, my God a performance like this only really happens in¬†filthy novels and artistic movies. To say I was¬†amazed is an understatement, my mind was alive, my heart was pounding, the tip of my penis quivering, the lady opposite was wearing only a pretty white bra¬†set¬†against her pink naked body, Helen’s gorgeous and I’m partial to naturel small breasts ūüėČ

Seconds later she reached her arms behind her back, unclipped her bra allowing the white straps to glide down her arms before again tossing the undergarment to her side,¬†minutes ago I’d been¬†watching the approaching soon to be¬†thunderstorm peeking through curtains, and by pure glorious coincidence¬†I now see a¬†bright¬†nude¬†like painting¬†of the lady opposite completely naked, with my binocular lens centred on¬†her perfect small pert breasts, her pink skin and auburn hair. Nothing below mind but I didn’t care, tonight I was a voyeur intimately watching my neighbour Helen¬†undress and in hindsight I’m at a loss as to why I didn’t faint or have a heart attack. Unbelievable! Incredible! Beautiful! OMFG!!!! Voyeurism is wrong but by God forbidden fruit tastes sweet.

Throughout this striptease performance I’d asked myself ‘what’s she looking at her gaze fixed on something across the room?’ She’d been alone, was it a mirror or picture¬†and I could sense Helen’s mind was elsewhere, then she startled me, she¬†stretched an arm again straight up¬†in the¬†air and proceeded to move her other¬†hand underneath the¬†armpit gently smoothing the palm against¬†her skin, methodically moving in circling motions concentration etched across her face.

I should I have turned away shouldn’t I,¬†closed the curtains and gone back to bed! You decide but it’s my window sill and the view out is¬†mine!

Of course I kept watching.

Helen¬†caressessed squeezed poked her breasts with two fingers¬†then switching hands¬†she repeated this now obvious checking ritual underneath the other pit of her other upward stretched arm all the while her face a picture of serene concentration, she even held them both at once as if¬†pointing squirting sprays of milk at a mirror, I’m sure she was looking at her reflection in¬†a mirror opposite?¬†Of course by now I’d worked out what she was doing, I was witness to something very private and intimate, she was¬†examining her breasts in a time honoured womanly routine¬†her wistful concentration so beautiful it touched my soul (true), she’d been of course feeling for changes, I hope to God there were none¬†and of course I was a very VERY lucky man.

So¬†a question to any¬†ladies reading and judging voyeur Andrew, remember that definition, I ask if you happened to be watching a¬†neighbour strip naked then feel squeeze examine his testicles what would you do? Close the curtains? Go to bed? Or satisfy¬†your voyeuristic appetite?¬†Come on be honest now, no please don’t, but I have my own idea what you’d all do, one or two would be in bed long before now, one or two would have their hands down the front of their panties doing¬†the things¬†girls do, remember I’m NOT a nasty man.

So how did your late night adventure end Andrew? Well her breast examinations lasted five minutes then all of a sudden something startled her, perhaps a noise from the Street below or a sudden awareness she was in fact standing naked in her bedroom, lights on, aside an open window wide open because tonight was so damn hot and humid, who knows? But quick as a flash she pulled a forearm across her chest covering her breasts at the same time leaning forward forcibly pulling down the blind shut!!.

Performance over I caught my breath, my heart rate lowered¬†as I¬†climbed into bed¬†and most amusingly of all still¬†with my binoculars, then I slept like a baby totally utterly exhausted and btw at no point did I pleasure myself. Have I ever seen her undress again? NO¬†because I never¬†look out¬†of¬†my¬†window unless there’s lightening to watch thunder to hear, in-fact that¬†statement is¬†absolutely true. Therefore¬†I’ve never seen her again or attempted to, even on¬†humid warm balmy evenings, I know for fact striptease displays, naked ladies, live breast examinations are coincidences that never ever happen again.’

ūüôā So there you are,¬†I ask is¬†my voyeurism tale true or fiction? Is¬†my¬†incredibly vivid and¬†erotic memory so etched across my mind¬†only a story? I’ll¬†allow the reader to¬†decide ūüôā

Andrew

(I’m feeling happier tonight, pt 2 was well received.)