A baking post for you and change from my sometimes silly tales. 🙂 the cake recipe courtesy of a blogger by the name of Lisa and her very own recipe, and you’ll of course be aware blackberries are in season in the UK at present.
So without further ado here’s a list of ingredients and method of making the cake (note it’s crumbly and a bit difficult to get out the tin) also I took a series of photographs to follow……….pictures always help in cook books and a video post will follow next.
© Andrew (For some reason the post has repeated itself in the Reader?)
If little else my post themes are out of the ordinary 😀 and I’m aware they may not be everyone’s ‘cup of tea’, but I enjoy writing them and some people enjoy reading them so all’s good and I have so much respect for the fair sex!. ❤
TRUTHFULLY I HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT MOTHER’S MILK ACTUALLY TASTES LIKE?
Here’s a question you’ll have asked your mum at some point in your life, “was I breastfed as a baby?” Well I only ever asked my mother once and she replied “NO NEVER!!” …………..Fair enough 😀
Which makes me wonder if being bottle fed formula milk is the reason I have a womanly breast fixation, then again ALL men have a weakness for those milky warm bundles of fun! But being serious for a sec’ I follow a lovely lady on YouTube who’s extremely unhappy men sexualise breasts, forgetting their sole purpose in life is lactating milk to keep babies alive and grow up healthy………………… 😀 and you wonder why I’m so darn confused!
I’ve a breastfeeding story for you, now bare in mind last time I wrote a post titled breastfeeding I got myself into all sorts of trouble, in-fact I deleted the post because I upset a lady from NY USA called Cara, so then I posted an apology only to be chastised yet again by a lady name of Paola from West Germany, women you just can’t win! 🙂
But being serious for a second Paola was quite correct a writer should never apologise for the ‘fruits of his labour’, if readers aren’t impressed with my work then please tell me because I enjoy feedback.
I feel a little ashamed with myself this evening, partly due to my usual weariness and tired frame of mind after a hard days work, often at about this hour melancholy creeps in swiftly turning to unhappiness, but don’t leave me quite yet because I have something rather important to say. Let me explain the reasons for this evening’s despondency a little more clearly shall I, yes it doesn’t take much to upset me these days, negative thoughts, a
Original and © Andrew
JFF and certainly not to be taken tooo literally or heaven forbid seriously……………….. note there’s no hate no nudity (well a little) no pornography and as I’ve written before 🙂 in the unlikely event you’re under 16 why not go and play a computer game, it’ll be more fun than reading this (hopefully entertaining) silliness!
If you’d like to understand how and why this very bizarre post came about ‘click here’, in my opinion a read should help explain all in less than three minutes, then again after reading you may say wtf and not bother coming back 😀 ………………… are you back? Hope so!
I’ll refrain from cross referencing belle’s post and reply to her questions instead, I’ll tell you my own masturbation story in my own words and in my opinion her’s is far better than mine anyway…………..Jeez takes me an age to begin!
A light hearted post for lovers of the English spoken word © Andrew
Recently Susie Dent (I’ll explain who she is further down) was approached by her employers ‘Channel 4 television’ to research and narrate a series of videos for YouTube, incidentally a website you’ll find me when I’m not hanging around WordPress, the TV company asked Susie to make several videos tracing the origins of what’s commonly referred to as English swear words.
Now before you leave me, I agree the words C**T S**T and F**K shouldn’t be used in everyday conversation! However remember you’ll find each word, also their countless meanings usage and definitions in the English dictionary so they are as relevant as any other in the English Language, and in the case of the highly taboo C**T this swear word can be traced back many hundreds of years.
So yes I’d agree with you if you said swearing is awful uncouth and lazy, but as someone who regularly uses the F bomb I quite enjoyed watching the linked videos narrated and produced by the gorgeous and very VERY sexy Susie Dent.
Btw doesn’t she have a fabulous voice!
So who is Susie Dent I hear you ask?
Here in the UK we have a very popular daytime quiz show called ‘Countdown’, but don’t worry about the show, enough to say the game revolves around choosing unknown consonants and vowels so as to make up a dictionary word, the longer the word you come up with the more points you win! Btw I don’t watch television! Awful invention!
Returning to my original question, Susie Dent is an English lexicographer and etymologist and resident expert in Countdown’s ‘Dictionary Corner’, incidentally until this evening I didn’t know what an etymologist did for a living, which is a pretty disgraceful admittance for anyone who likes to call themselves a blogger!!!
Etymologist def. – studies the history of words, their origins, and how their form and meaning have changed over time.
You may be aware I’m a little obsessed with women on Blog Andrew, the majority of my posts seem to derive from observing the fair sex and her femininity ……….oh and not forgetting my sex life! Perhaps it’s because I’m single that I find women so captivating and fascinating creatures, yet they confuse and mystify me in equal measures? So if any reader wondered who Andrew’s ideal woman is, I know you don’t but humour me, Susie Dent is the lady who quickens my pulse and makes ‘me hard and my bits tingle’.
Now I’ll refrain from being over familiar and coarse in this JFF post except to say in my humble opinion intelligence is an appealing and very sexy quality in a woman and Susie has sex appeal in abundance!
I digress, where was I? Oh yes Ms. Dent, if you stopped a man in the street and asked him to describe Susie Dent they’d probably say Countdown first and ‘thinking man’s crumpet’ second, and for all you bloggers who reside outside the UK the word ‘crumpet’ refers to ‘a sexually attractive lady!’
Thinking man’s crumpet def. – a humorous term for a person who is popular with the opposite sex because of their intelligence and their physical attractiveness.
…….. and now the very English swear word B****Y!
………and now for Susie Dent’s ‘The Real Origins of C**T!
©R.E.M. – Everybody Hurts
While ‘scrolling through’ and reading a lady’s written blog posts I happened across ‘Everybody Hurts’ and I guess because the song’s quite old now, I hadn’t listened in a while, then I remembered I’d bought the album CD (what’s one of those I hear you ask) when first released.
The album’s ok 🙂 , honest of me 🙂 For ALL of us certain songs are memorable, for personal reasons the lyrics may embed in our consciousness, lyrics we’ll never forget, who knows why emotions are experienced by some and not others except the affect can be quite profound.
Well ‘Everybody Hurts’ for me is one of those songs. Enjoy 🙂
Original story written by ©Andrew (A story for mums dads and adults only, if you’re under 16 believe me it’s boring! 🙂 go play a computer game it’ll be more fun and note this adheres to WP guidelines)
Original in every way, a story written by me ©Andrew
My erotic tale is sexually explicit (err very but if you know me it’s a happy good natured tale and my favourite ) anyways if you’d like to read then feel free to comment I’ll give you the password and if you wish I’ll delete the comment. 🙂
Click here for Pretty lady….. pt2
Please comment if you’ve had enough.
Original story written by ©Andrew only wish (big sigh) this one was true!
English summer’s traditionally begin mid June and end early October, I should qualify with a usually lasts that long! So more often than not our summer days of decent weather lasts longer than people overseas may imagine, of course we don’t get months of hot searing heat radiating from white hot suns, no there’ll be few of those, but interspersed they’ll be many more wet windy and cold winter’s days, for example, days such as in this little tale. If you were riding this railway carriage with myself, a day’s excursion on the North York Moors, you’ll hear no end of well known British weather sayings, may even be one such as this,
“Winter’s come early”, said the young lady sitting on a cushioned seat near opposite me, her abruptness waking me out of my contemplative day dream, “pardon miss”, I replied with a shocked start!
“Winters’s come early”, she repeated pushing her arms and shoulders forward, fondly smiling, making out she was shivering and I’d guess pressing clenched hands deep into her lap. I say guess because a large wooden table fixed to left side of the carriage obscured my view of her waist down.
Such a strange involuntary reaction shivering, I wonder if it really helps one warm chilled frozen stiff muscles?
The young lady continued smiling at me, and don’t you find the timespan for a smile represents how greatly a lady likes you, what she wishes from you in return? Too short and she’s forcing herself to make small talk, too long and she’s really into you or is that soppy old Andrew reading too much into feminine flirtations again, when a lady starts to talk to me I fall in love. Happens a lot, I go all submissive puppy-like instantly wishing wanting needing her.
I returned a smile this time going one step further looking into her eyes, and now I’m inwardly panicking having been caught off guard, nervously I answered with possibly the lamest most awful reply known to man, wait for it!
“Yes but the weather man on the radio said it’ll brighten up by this afternoon”, when really I wanted to say something very different, my eyes glancing below her chin for a spilt second then lower still, returning upwards re capturing her gaze.
Oh yes what I really wanted to say to this pretty girl, not beautiful as in a makeup model straight from Vogue magazine beautiful, no she was very much the pretty girl next door type, lovely delightful appealing with curly long brunette hair resting atop her shoulders, ah recalling the actual question crossing my mind. me now feeling the very end of my dick tingle and twitch, shaft hardening to the point of feeling slightly uncomfortable inside tight jeans! what I really wanted to say was,
‘honey why are you not wearing a bra?’
I hadn’t caught notice of the ladies face or her bosom till a little way into our journey, the train had stopped at Gothland Station I clambered aboard, crossing a grubby green carpeted aisle, my legs touching brushing past her jeans on the way, making mental note she’s wearing walking boots, then plonking myself down on the seat by the window! I hadn’t given the lady a second glance really.
Well that’s untrue, seated I looked across for the briefest of moments, enough to see her head was bowed, I assume concentration etched across her face reading a map (hold that thought), then getting my act together I layed my belongings out on the table, sighed rather loudly then gazed out the window watching the incredible scenery pass before my eyes, only then after a couple of minutes did I turn my head in the direction of my female traveller, only then did I notice that her walkers rain coat was unzipped open exposing two mounds of a rather large breasts, within tight navy blue tee shirt I might add!
So of course my attention’s magnetically drawn to her rather prominent nipples pointing through the soft stretchy cotton, oh yes I noticed those two alright! Walking boots and an outdoor coat all indicate she was a hiker and here’s the payoff just like me, I’m virtually dressed the same without hard nipples.
The train pulls away and slowly rumbles its way through beautiful rain sodden countryside, flat and dark green only spongy heather for vegetation. Now comfortably settled with rucksack on the seat beside me, heritage train book and packed lunch an arms length away in front on the table, we rocked and rolled through a picture perfect beautiful landscape that attracts people from across the globe, yet on cold wintry summer days such as these, a low grey cloud, a persistent deluge of heavy rain meant we were the only two souls in the carriage.
Though hold on a second! Listening to a hushed chatter from what sounded like a young woman also muffled occasional squeals of laughter from a child we were NOT alone, a voice of slightly higher pitch making the number five pop into my mind. A girl of five years old, I guess a mother and daughter were seated at the very far end on a day out like us two strangers.
Anyways the change in weather meant only we four travelled today in a carriage pulled by this gruff throaty diesel engine, 1960’s, preserved for tourists in seek of nostalgia.
We trundled our way through rural Yorkshire me time to time glancing across our shared light coloured oak table, and looking about the rail car the whole interior was a soft golden hew, where was I? Voyeurism, every sixty seconds or so out of the corner of my eye I’d glance across at her breasts again jiggling side to side up and down, they were large enough to notice and certainly enjoyable to watch, bouncing higher when a carriage jumped two connecting rails, and I’d say round enough to know they’re more than a handful when holding one up, though now positioned a good couple of inches above her tummy, made no secret this I’d guess age 25 pretty young lady had boobs on the bigger side.
I thought to myself she should really be wearing a bra because they’re just that little too heavy not to be supported, in a few years when she reaches thirty they’ll drop, sag to not far above her belly button, but they’ll still look adorable parting a resting position well to sides of her chest still looking sexy as older woman’s boobs do, I nearly said to her ‘you’ll only ever get sexy cleavage again by wearing a Wonderbra’, I didn’t!
Anyways as you’ll have deduced by now my attention is drawn to her boobs rather than spectacular scenery, then totally out of the blue she looks up from the map she’s interestedly following and beams me such a sweet smile and saying,
To be continued…………
I don’t have a problem church cemeteries, in-fact I quite like them!
Don’t go yet! This isn’t Andrew becoming all morbid and depressing on you, 🙂 nope my blog is a positive happy blog where religion controversy and death are banned! Sex nature and photography yes! I’m here to hopefully be interesting, make you smile or subject you to my silly stories.
Whilst walking into Town early this afternoon the heavens suddenly opened and I became ensnared captured by a torrential rainstorm, now catch 22 if I about turned and went home I’d get soaked, if I carried on I’d get just as wet, so I thought sod it and soldiered on through the rain into Town.
One silver lining to my cloudy story was bumping into my neighbour from around the corner. She’s a lovely lady, a plain Jane but then I’m no Richard Gere, she’d gotten caught in the rain as well but even worse, as a woman who wears bras to small for her bust size, she looked as though she’d just come from a wet tee shirt competition, and by the look at her bosom she’d just won!
A post inspired by a pregnant woman who smiled at me as we passed each other walking along the lane that joins my home to Town. (July 2017)
Also prompted by a News story from America, apparently there was a little controversy (‘noise there’s always noise’ a quote 🙂 ) when a viewer branded anchor woman Laura Warren’s baby bump ‘disgusting’ by voicemail, I know I’m baffled to?
A question for you. In polite society is a guy allowed to say a pregnant lady can look sexy? Or is thinking let alone admitting a definite no no.
I’m not fishing for compliments here, this question genuinely honestly crosses my mind time to time, say as I’m commuting to work on the bus bored out of my mind.
The celebrity pictured below (who?) is ‘with child’ and in my learned opinion she is quite a few weeks in and not long till giving birth? And well I think she has a very sexy figure however she’s carrying someone inside so am I coming across as a little bit pervy? Don’t mean to!
Blog intermission, bit like those ice cream breaks you used to get at the cinema if you’re old enough to remember!
Quick update to my erotica tale, btw there won’t be another, you just DON’T know how much that post took out of me, I finished part 3 and thought OMFG 9 erotic fantasy writers have liked, Jeez, what if my story’s an ‘anti-climax’? Not to worry my erotic tale went ‘down’ well however I won’t be revealing fact from fantasy……….. 🙂 I’ll leave you to guess.
Returning to pregnant ladies, as I’ve told you I was walking into Town along the lane that crosses the Common and not far into my housing estate one sunny July morning all of a sudden I see a lady by herself walking toward me wearing a full length black maxi dress, you know the ones, they’re made like a long sock out of stretchy cotton fabric and it NEVER ceases to amaze me a maxi dress clings to every part of a ladies body as if spray painted on!
My guess is it takes a confident woman to wear one because they show every lump bump and curve of her body, the complete outline of her figure. Anyways she’s coming toward me and I’m sorry but I cannot not take my eyes from staring, not at her boobs hips waist through to the mound of her ‘you know what’ which is very clear to see, probably one of the sexiest dresses known to man, however I wasn’t looking at her figure I was kinda staring at her bump!
Accompanying YouTube video (Click to view)
“Bumblebees are key factors in our wildlife. If they disappear many of our plants will not bear fruit”
David Attenborough (FRS).
Reading my Title ‘Bees in mum’s Garden’ gives you a strong hint as to the theme of this evening’s Post.
My mother is a keen flower gardener, all her borders are a riot of colour as are the many plant pots situated on the paved areas. As you can see from my video I visited Saturday afternoon and as I wandered around her peaceful garden I noticed wild bees hoping from flower to flower so reminiscent of helicopters and by chance I had my Samsung tablet with me so photographed the bees as the went about their work, they came out quite well don’t you think and I was really impressed the bees gold hoops, wings and legs are clearly visible and please don’t ask me to name the flowers, because my fingers are definitely not green!
With a little internet research I’m pretty sure the bees in my photographs are named small garden bumble bees though I’m no expert, the one fact I do know is bees could possibly be the most important insect to visit your garden.
Here’s the natural history lesson! 😀
Bees visit flowers to collect nectar and pollen, which they use as food for themselves and the larvae in their hives or nests. By moving from flower to flower, they are vital pollinators of many garden and wild flowers. Insect pollination is essential for the cropping of most fruits and some vegetables, there are several hundred different types of bee resident in the British Isles.
As a rule of thumb your garden should provide bee-friendly flowers that are rich in pollen and nectar which bees can easily access from spring until late summer, this ensures there’s a good supply of pollen at all the crucial times.
I’ve just been notified this is Post 100!
My apologies Hester, the video above is from my tablet and in my opinion the quality’s much better than before (compare to my Blenheim pics) but I FORGOT to speak up, the reason why is my mum’s neighbour was in her garden!
Good morning from sunny England, Now a message to the lovely people who read my Posts 🙂 lol you’ll understand by now, ‘sure as eggs is eggs’ (a saying of ours) you’ll know for certain todays post will NEVER be the same as it’s previous, not by devious design mind, nothing deceitful, I hope you think me a gent it’s just the way I’ve always ‘blogged’.
The video above has been uploaded onto my YouTube, as always, and features a panoramic view of my mother’s rear garden, a typical English suburban housing estate where each house has a small plot of land, some grow vegetables and flowers some seed the soil into lawns for the children to play on.
Original story written by ©Andrew (Note intended to be read by mums dads adults, I can assure if you’re under age 16 you’ll be BORED witless, I ain’t joking! Go 😀 play a computer game and have more fun instead. Thank you 🙂 )
Continuation from She let me cum in her mouth pt3 and here’s how my story ends! But first setting the scene, Chantelle and I are naked in her London Flat:
‘My body sinking into warm duvet and dutifully followed by my mature horny babe her wetness flowing out of her vagina like water drops slipping down glass in a rain storm, and like a reluctant virgin about to be deflowered on her wedding night she lay down beside me.’
Now the final part!
……………….a beautiful mature lady……if a little overweight!
A middle aged tiredness brought us to our senses, we paused breathless our bodies breaking from their embrace, then Chantelle sitting up supporting herself on one elbow, looking through tousled naturel blond hair draped across false eyelashes, quietly says:
“You like kissy kissy don’t you!” whilst wiping lipstick from her mouth with a wet wipe bought to clean penis’s of their pussy juice…………..and before you ask, she was English white and lived in Norfolk………….as for her Flat? Our emailing? Long story 😀
“Andrew sweetie, roll over honey and I’ll massage your back!”, like a puppy dog I dutifully roll over as she draws her right thigh over as if to ride me! (Couldn’t resist that!)
Chantelle is a mature sexy goddess of a woman, very feminine a girly girl type, mind you ALL women are beautiful goddesses to me, so go on force yourself, try to picture a natural blonde sitting just below my ass cheeks her legs straddling my thighs, her knees firmly squeezing my thighs in vice like grip, and joy of joys feeling her soft shaven vagina lips dripping wet pressing into my peachy ass.
If truth be told I think she fancied a rest from kissing cuddling and rolling, now able to sit up upright, feeling the discomfort from nursing a bad back ease (I’ll explain later) and I should say she wasn’t a light woman, not overweight either, but I certainly felt her sitting on top of me, her weight straddling my thighs like a female horse jockey aloft her mustang steed, Chantelle telling fascinating tales of her exciting life, me quietly listening captivated and all the while her fingers kneading massaging my tense shoulders, then she stopped suddenly, my tired muscles released from tender dextrous touch, her still and motionless silence only broken because she must have glanced down at my peachy ass cheeks, then completely out of the blue she says,
“You know Andrew you’ve a fab looking ass for a man your age”
Are you at all curious why Chantelle nursed a bad back, do you know what 😀 , after all I’ve written about visual images burnt into my consciousness and virtual tape machines in my brain recording intimate conversations 😀 I cannot remember why she had a bad back, No idea except she suffered from one, perhaps she didn’t fancy the idea of sexual gymnastics or rolling round that double bed having mad passionate love making, wasn’t for me either, nope seemed we were both content with kissing cuddling massages and chatting, fine by us both.
Laying on soft duvet, legs wide apart she knelt between my open thighs holding my hard cock in her right hand rhythmically rubbing my shaft and foreskin up and down, bringing me to near point of orgasm and skilfully understanding when to stop me ejaculating……. one talented woman was Chantelle she gave a mean hand job! My body squirmed and wriggled under the power of her firm tight grip, me with one arm stretched out, palm of my hand grabbing one natural firm breast all soft and round, once I squeezed so tight a nipple showed between thumb and forefinger and she momentarily lost her rag yelling,
“fucking hell Andrew don’t do that!”
I love the intimacy of a woman wanking me off and in my experience a woman enjoys the sex act just as much as men, please tell me if I’m wrong. I so look forward to the squeal of delight when I shower her breasts with beads of sticky cum, or as Chantelle did now come the time she lowered her head mouth open inches above the tip of my penis, all the while working my hard member with her hand, guiding controlling my soon near climax, my carnal pleasures now heightened because joy of joy I knew what this angel of mercy (nurse lol) was about to do for me now. Crimson lips open hovering above the purple tip of my phallus, me laying on her bed arms stretched out like a crucified Jesus Christ, Chantelle kneeling dutifully waiting between my wide open thighs, then my back arched upward a thrusting spasm ejaculating warm silk milk across her tongue and deep into her throat, pumping until I could cum no more!
Finally my body all spent she pulled her head back releasing my cock from her drooling wet mouth, gazing at me, parted those glossy red lips wide open, poking her tongue out revealing my pool of cum, she tossed her head back gargling my cream in the back of her throat, then swallowed the sticky liquid down in one…. mascara running from her watering eyes choking as my gooey cum coated her windpipe, but she enjoyed it and with love in her eyes she licked her lips beamed a wide girly smile……….and said!
“I only swallow for good boys 😀 now pass me that wine!”
(I hope you enjoyed my tale, and for those readers who’re wondering “Fact or Fiction?” All I’ll say is my story’s a ‘blend’ of truth and fantasy, 😀 and a few comments I’ll reveal which.)
© Andrew (next one’s features back garden flowers)
An Original story written by ©Andrew
(Continued from pt2)
……………..became friends, our email relationship had progressed to a point where one sunny afternoon in July, and not so long ago, I found myself in Chantelle’s London Flat ‘boudoir’ standing naked at the foot of a double bed inside her warm cosy bedroom, more precise I’d undressed totally nude only my hard cock to keep me company, holding it’s shaft in my hand a sort of comfort blanket, gently stroking calmed this horny guy excitedly anticipating heavenly pleasures only this voluptuous blonde could give me,
Oh did I say she was age 40!……………..Then through open door she walks this middle aged blonde goddess, with a big bum tight waste pert high round boobs, all dressed up as a nurse (backpage pic) in white mini-dress, her wide open cleavage as you’ve never seen in your life before.
We said hello, exchanged pleasantries and suddenly feeling quite emotional I moved to face her less than a metre apart, then peeking down her plunging neckline I moved closer still unbuttoning her all the way down, opening the white pinafore then slipping the soft cotton fabric backward over her shoulders, I remember standing transfixed dumb founded unable to move my eyes surveying up and down her pink naked body my brain trying to process this vision of beautiful naked womanhood. Chantelle has the firmest roundest most shapely breasts I’ve squeezed in my entire life, high and round about one handful. Then I place my hands above her hips pulling her body to me one final time, we embrace tightly, our heads along side each others, her baby soft cheeks pressing into my twelve hour stubble, her hushed voice saying,
“So Andrew what shall we do this fine afternoon?”
My heart beat slowed to normal, phew I thought to myself ‘we’re going to be ok, we’re going to have fun’ and completely relaxed I replied,
“Well in your email you said I could cum in your mouth and babe that sounds fine to me”, she giggled winked and said “not so fast honey, I want you inside my mouth but first some kissy kissy” and with that she grabbed great handfuls of my plump buttocks, her head leaning back giggling like the little girl Chantelle really was!
Then I kissed Chantelle, passionately, tongues deep inside the each other’s mouth, wet with saliva entwining dancing all you readers being aware there’s no body part more sensitive than the tongue………..we must have kissed for twenty minutes, you think I make this sh*t up? 😀 Nope, our embrace became tighter, bodies touching ever more intimate, my hands moving from hips to squeezing fat buttock cheeks then back to her hips again, we kiss ever more passionately, devouring, breathless into each other’s mouths, even red lipstick smeared across our lips, I thought her face appeared amusing until I saw my reflection in a mirror later.
I’m a boob man through and through, large or small pert or sagging, means no odds to me as long as I can play with them, suckle on a nipple, drink like a new born babe then I’m happy and satisfied. What does breast milk taste of? I’ve bottle fed my nephew with J’s own milk craving to suck just once but I didn’t!
I longed to touch Chantelle’s breasts, but our bodies were tooo close! “Loosen up girl!!!” I said momentarily pulling away!
We continued to kiss, two naked silhouettes drawn together, her arms wrapped less tightly around my waist pulling holding me against her, her warmth touched every part of the front of my body, such an affectionate embrace of two lovers who’d been here before. Aroused, sexually excited I struggled to slip my hand between our bodies so I could grope her firm breasts, but I’d been a worried man when we first cuddled, I could feel my aroused hardness pushing between her inner thighs, the pressure making the base of my purple bell end tingle, thousands of nerve endings electrified and I thought to myself ‘what if in my excitement I’d entered her, my now horizontal phallus pushed deep in to her wet vagina pressing against her womb, throbbing engorged with blood, hell I may have spontaneously orgasmed sticky cum inside, consensual mind, is involuntary semen exchange rape if she hadn’t expected my phallic explosion! But not to worry I missed her pink gash, I don’t much like fucking anyway but all’s well 🙂 my engorged phallus slipped between Chantelle’s warm squeezed thighs, briefly stroking wet labia lips, mind you hers did flap about a bit, we kissed and kissed and deep French kissed some more, many a minute passed before we spoke again.
I guess with tired lips and aching jaws we must have mutually sensed it time to stop the wonderful French, so backing away I moved on to her bed, body sinking into warm duvet and dutifully followed by my mature horny babe her wetness flowing out of her vagina like water drops slipping down glass in a rain storm, and like a reluctant virgin about to be deflowered on her wedding night she lay down beside me. We embraced affectionately then as tight as before, gently rolling over each other for what will be one of the more fantastic afternoons of my life, as for her? She always said she had fun but this time she wanted something different.
So lovely readers 😀 we leave our two lovers for the moment, embraced facing each other kissing on the lips, all very tender and motionless.
For months previous to first meeting we chatted time to time via email, Snapchat FB Twitter and Skype aren’t for me, aren’t for us, todays young internet generation can’t comprehend how two people can ‘play’ without help of social media and tell me where’s the harm daily writing to each other as our forbears would have? Do children today understand that written exchanges between lovers go as far back as Jane Austin times?
Love letters sent between lovers possessing intriguing codes secrets and hidden messages keeping each other guessing even after the letter is returned to it’s envelope, I enjoy email, it f*cking stresses me out mind, many a time I’ll press send then panic with questions of, ‘did I express myself as I intended? Oh God have I offended her? Worse still upset?’ Not to worry, more often than not my replies made her smile even laugh sometimes. Long ago I came to a decision not to on-line date, women have told me the horror stories, explained how scams work, perhaps I’m a cynic, for one thing is sure I know there are lots of lonely ladies out there, perhaps I should give it a try, honesty is one aspect of WordPress that is plain to see, the blogger you are reading is bearing her soul, truthful and trusting, me also because not a single word is a lie………………come to think of it perhaps on my old blog I did say I’d done anal, that must have been some weird dream because I haven’t been there…………..yet, enough and I’m SORRY!!!!!
Returning to naked me and Chantelle our bodies near joined as one tenderly rolling atop her double bed, me luckiest man alive hugging a beautiful mature lady……if a little overweight!
To be continued in my fourth and final part
Original story written by ©Andrew
(continue from pt1)
…………………. this romantic tale comes in four parts, hope you read part 1, btw the naughty part begins in part three but how I came to meet Chantelle is important to my story.
So no sex yet!
Keep patient hopefully you’ll find it pretty hot stuff!
………..this romantic tale took place (perhaps it’s fiction 😉 ) after I’d deleted my first blog and for twelve months I’ve purposely shied away from writing about my sex life, number one because no one is interested, number two I find reading sex blogs tedious tho I love reading erotic poetry, but sex blogs lack soul to the point I haven’t Followed one in over a year and number three I haven’t layed a woman in ages! True that.
And I’m NOT showing off!
So now you understand why I’ve refrained from tales of sex on this blog, apart from Helen’s striptease of course, but I didn’t masturbate while watching her breast examination so that doesn’t really count! I’ve banned myself from talking sex but for one time only I’m going to re tell a true story……. 😉 then again this may be fiction 😉 …… did you know there are awards for badly written erotic fiction………..I could Google it but can’t be assed b’cause it’s late!
Okay LOL I’ll attempt a dirty story………………. Setting the scene, one sunny afternoon several month’s ago I found myself inside a Flat in Canning Town………… that’s London to you………more precisely in a bedroom waiting for a mature woman, just how I like em!
Ok ‘I found myself in a Flat’ isn’t a great beginning, let me start again by saying Chantelle and I had emailed too and fro for many weeks before first meeting, not a dating site mind let’s just say dating isn’t entirely the point to the particular chatroom we frequent, wouldn’t you LOVE me to reveal it’s name, afraid not! Ok why not there’s this website called ‘backpage’ where you place an advertisement when want an item, let’s say for example a wardrobe no let’s say sex instead and you’ve guessed internet users looking for sex go to ‘backpage’ to find the look of someone they like, there’s a message board for corresponding, telephone numbers are exchanged and then if the guy likes the look of the woman and the woman likes the look of the guy AND they both believe and trust each other they meet up! Easy as NO it’s a frigging minefield of scammers liars raving nutcases, but if you trust your sixth sense, implicitly, use common sense ‘backpage’ can be fun BUT lol you won’t ever find your soul partner and live happily ever after! 😦
NO MONEY CHANGES HANDS!!!!
Do I need to explain anymore or have you fathomed how ‘backpage’ works? Put it this way you’re not buying a wardrobe in the furniture section!
God I could explain the point to ‘backpage’ and how it works ALL evening, lol let’s cut to the chase, one evening many months ago whilst scrolling through ladies pictures I happened across a forty year old divorcee called Chantelle, I clicked her thumbs up then she looks at my profile and clicks my thumbs up and then both being signed up members, how ‘backpage’ makes money, we both view each other’s profile pages normally hidden from view and importantly each other’s ‘photographs’ and when I say photographs I actually mean filthy near pornographic nude selfies, all tasteful and legal mind, well ours were on the whole tasteful, so we chatted on the message board, became friends then one sunny afternoon in July………
Sample taken from my profile page!
To be continued in part 3 then part 4.
Original story written by ©Andrew
……………then again perhaps I didn’t cum in her mouth and this is a fictional tale.
I remember sexy times with ladies as vivid images burnt across my mind, I remember conservations as if my brain possessed an old style tape recording machine, mental powers alone able to press a virtual reality play button whilst sitting on a commuting bus, gazing out the window daydreaming and bored………..Jeez there’s so many unforgettable conversations to replay then again some deeply regrettable, perhaps this is a privilege only bestowed upon persons using public transport? I really mean that, an opportunity tailor made for talented bloggers unlike me. (Ahh, but true!)
Yes you did read that right, public transport! It’s a question of time my lovelies solitary boredom feeds a wandering mind! Good that.
Sometimes I glance around people sitting on the top deck going to work, all doing very little, a few talking in hushed tones and not many read or listen to music which might surprise you, perhaps the jolting swaying down country lanes puts people off I know it does me. Most are silent deep in thought gazing out the windows, and I’ll find myself sitting there watching faces so curious, wondering what conversations and life stories they are playing back on their virtual tape machines? Arguments, happy times, last night’s telly or daydreaming sexual encounters they’ve had or wished they’d had, that pretty Sunday School teacher, a large bust so out of proportion for her slender figure, morning worship and I’d sit in the pew behind staring at the back of her bra, fantasies of what wonders the lingerie held up.
How many of you have the opportunity to sit alone each day, calm quiet with only your thoughts for company and if you’re really unlucky, two hours each day. Squandered precious time, Yes of course it is!
The deck of a bus holds forty adults all sexes and ages trapped constrained by passengers sitting next to them, all with important places to go, yes I’d agree if you said self inflicted solitude is dull and boring, if that’s what you’re thinking, but I’m here to tell you commuting to work by bus or train is one of life’s opportunities to let your imagination run riot, here comes the naughty bit.
No word of a lie many a time I’ve been travelling to work on a bus with an attractive young lady sitting next to me, I ain’t no perv mind but if you said voyeur, I am. I have been known to surreptitiously keep half an eye on her legs if she’s wearing a dress or skirt, you see when a lady sits you’ll know her skirt hem slips towards her hips, gliding across smooth black nylon tights revealing her shapely thighs squeezed tightly together, pussy lips closed tightly shut, her hem line resting distance dependent on the skirt’s length to begin with. Inconsequentials such as skirt length can make or break a bachelors day, if the lady works for a bank I’ll see her knees and little else, if she’s a College student (age 16+) chances are her skirt hem stops inches below her soft cotton gusset, knickers filled with forbidden fruit tasting moist and sweet on a guys tongue………………well pussy’s always taste sweet to me!
Where was I? Commuting to work by bus! Hmm before becoming side tracked by thoughts of female legs I hope I’ve explained that far from being boring quiet solitude, the rhythmic side to side rocking of a bus allows one’s imagination to race with perhaps dreams of conquests past……………………or then again what to cook for the children’s tea tonight………. you pays your money you takes your choice……….. and those of you who blog, maybe you’re a little envious? Nah Andrew don’t be silly, the gift of time is ticking away.
Returning to me seated next to a young lady, when opportunity permits gazing at her smooth thighs (student not banker), and bare in mind commuting etiquette necessitates let’s call rule number one, that two human bodies never knowingly touch other, not even the slightest of contact’s……. do and you’ll get an evil glare, slip a hand between her thighs and you’ll get five years inside! ……..I’ll reach the end of this bloody ‘hosiery’ tale if it takes all evening!!!! Time to time I’ll peek at her black tighted thighs, highly erotic and turning me on but not exciting enough to give me a full hard on, the young lady quite oblivious unless she herself looks down aware blood is engorging my groin causing a hump in my jean crotch.
Little does she know, her oh so sexy legs recall memories of pleasant afternoon’s spent in bed with females of my own, my now perfumed neighbour overpowering my consciousness. I wait in eager anticipation when a bus stops hoping for a pretty lady to sit next to me, clutching her handbag drawn into her tummy and if I rest my elbow on the window seal, support the weight of my head via hand and forearm, I can twist my torso slightly and watch her out the corner of my eye without her noticing, I hope, and when the bus rides a bump I see her heavy bust bounce or jiggle if she’s little tits, really lucky if her collars open I may even see the hint of a bra cup, that quickens my breath and makes my heart beat a little faster, a vapour of cheap perfume wafting my nostrils, bras boobs black tighted thighs give rise to a harder phallus…………even came in my boxers once, wonder if she noticed………so ladies if you’re sitting on a train next to a guy don’t assume he’s contemplating the weather! 😉
Got there in the end! Am I a naughty boy? Or am I worse?
I could write a book of tape recorded stories in my brain, oh I already have, they’re all on my first blog LONG ago deleted………….and why is a long story! But in hindsight I’m pleased I kept no copies, so beware all you poets, story tellers and bloggers, keep copies, back up your files!
The heavenly tale I’m soon to tell, remember you still have an opportunity to run, all……..
To be continued, and I ain’t deleting this time! 1000 words done 2000 to go.
© Andrew ❤
I have both good news 🙂 and bad news 😦 for you.
Good news first, for the past two years I’ve been uploading videos onto my YouTube all filmed by my cheap and cheerful digital camera, however you’ll agree the picture quality is pretty poor. THEN yesterday evening it suddenly dawned on me I have a Samsung tablet with a great camera, taken me 8 months to figure that one out ffs.
Now the bad news, the weather across Great Britain is awful, by that I mean it’s rained constantly for two days, dry ditches are now running streams for heavens sake, yay I have a great quality video camera however if I go outside to film Oxfordshire’s fantastic Countryside I get absolutely soaked!
But like the trooper I am, I braved the rain just for my WordPress (absolutely true) filming the video below and my narration pretty much explains all, listen to the rain………
It’s only uploaded to test the camera’s picture quality so perhaps don’t watch. Bit boring.
Listen to that rain! I only wish I’d remembered I owned this Samsung when I visited beautiful Blenheim Palace………….. oh well we men aren’t the sharpest tools in the box!
If you have any British friends you’ll know we don’t half moan about the weather, it’s either too hot and sunny, or too wet and cold, mind you talking about our weather is a great ice breaker when you first converse with someone you don’t know.
Consequently due to the rain this isn’t the post I hoped to publish, I had planned to visit a local Abbey and walk the Cotswolds, unfortunately due to the fact Holly and I were soaked to the skin we settled for a short walk closer to home………… 🙂 Holly didn’t appear to mind!
Not to worry, better luck next time!
Ahh 😀 I bet that Title caught your attention………..perhaps you’re curious “What’s gone and upset Andrew this evening?” ……and yes I agree my previous post was a little self indulgent but a little introspection is fine in small doses, re reading two months from now might be interesting?
I do enjoy these posts where I just write honestly and freely!
If you’ve read my naughtier posts and think I’m sexist read on, if not skip to the photograph below.
(The following morning on the 21st, I edited replaced the word misogynist with sexist, WOW I never realised misogynist is defined ‘A hater of women’, God, I don’t think any reader thinks I hate women…………. hmm 😀 sexist? You decide)
………..very occasionally I’ll contemplate the themes and content of my previous 92 posts, I did that the other day and re revisited one or two of my saucy posts and it dawned on me my language towards women could be seen as sexist, I’m not, I enjoy the company of women and I have utmost respect for the fair sex, but you have to realise since age 16 I’ve worked in male dominated environments and rightly or wrongly a blog allows us the freedom to write how we wish, within reason, or what’s the flipping point? ………… In truth I’m like all men, I’m a naughty boy at heart and writing ‘explicit’ posts makes me smile nothing more……… and anyways one overseas lady follower says 😀 she skips my naughtier posts which is fine………….a shame really b’cause they’re such fun to write.)
Returning to my frankly bizarre inflammatory Title, let me make clear I’m fine with a woman feeding her baby breast milk so as to keep the infant alive and grow up healthy.
Now look at this viral photograph circulating on Twitter the News and all other social media…………the lady is Bryony Esther and she’s feeding daughter Saffron 🙂
I truly wish I’d been a seated passenger on that train travelling through the South of England because this is a truly sad photograph, if I was one of those guys with blurred out faces I would have given up my seat and insisted the young lady sat down to feed her baby, but no this story is World News because none of those men did and worse still the owner of the bike is sat in a priority seat for disable, pensioner or anyone else in need……………….. fucking selfish bastard!!
In her words “Despite ‘hovering’ near the priority seating area no-one offered to move and instead began sniggering”.
On all levels this is such a sad photograph, a young lady with upset in her eyes and many selfish grown men lacking all humanity and common decency and I hope their mums sisters girlfriends and wives get to see this selfie ‘snapped’ by Bryony herself!
I’m certainly no angel and I’m not looking for plaudits or praise, but do you ever find yourself reading a story watching a News item and thinking ‘I wish I’d been there’ so I could do the right thing’………….such a sad photo! Why are people such assholes?
As for breastfeeding in public, don’t get me started, I’ve been there when my sister-in-law has breast fed one of her three sons in public, what’s the big deal? Why do people complain? I while ago I was walking towards the centre of Oxford and passed by a lady seated at a pavement table outside a restaurant, and as I walked by I remember thinking to myself how beautiful is that, what is more natural than a woman feeding her baby.
(18/07/2017 – I first published my June sightseeing trip to London tale several days ago, however I linked an EXTREMELY tacky YouTube video to accompany that post, call it one of those ‘seemed a good idea at the time’ ideas but in hindsight ‘that’ video and intro was neither tasteful amusing or in the slightest bit relevant to my tale, not to worry I can put that right…….!)
Britain has recently experienced it’s hottest June for 40 years, and bang in the middle of a record hot week I took the coach to Central London hoping to do a little sightseeing of my own, I hadn’t visited for several years anyways the day turned out to be a 36 degree body sweltering furnace and the sightseeing was gorgeous………..don’t get me wrong mind we’ve been waiting…. always waiting for sunny days like these.
Blue skies accompany a burning hot sun (I had to buy suntan lotion for the first time in years), searing heat like I’ve never experienced rising up from pavement stone and if you’ve read my Blog before you may have guessed this post could well be one of my sexy stories, all good fun and you’d be right! So without further ado I’ll let you into a little secret, when temperatures rise in the United Kingdom so the English public change into their summer dress ESPECIALLY the ladies, actually if mind serves me right it’s written into legislation!!!
The reason why is simple to explain, there’s both the novelty summer’s finally arrived and we know for sure it won’t last long consequently British women throw all modesty and caution to the wind, you’ve heard the phrase stir-crazy well I’ve coined days like these as sun-crazy, dress hems get shorter, bras are discarded, tee shirts tighter and bustier and for a brief couple of days a year I don’t recognise the Country I’m living in. ❤
Lol you want an example? ………..Ok if I’m pushed, there I am waiting to buy a ticket at London Embankment Underground station, packed with commuters jostling for escalators important places to go and as you do I join a queue of people waiting to buy a train ticket, then my eyes clock a young lady with long blonde hair wearing a dairy cream coloured skirt white crotchet top and no bra!……………, Hmm all very observant of you Andrew!
So I’m watching this attractive young lady purchasing her Oyster Card ticket, arm raised above her head pressing coins down a slot and what do I see below her armpit? A gaping looping hole in her top that’s what I see! A wardrobe malfunction revealing her perky pink boob with nipple, common I couldn’t make this sh*t up and even MORE bizarre standing behind her is a policeman wearing a Kevlar chest guard wielding his machine gun.
Then I followed her NO!!!! …………. Bless her, she’s only young once and looked fabulous!
Now jump forward two hours and I’m wandering through Hyde Park making my way towards Buckingham Palace and my ‘attention’s’ drawn to a group of young women sunbathing in bikinis, Central London for heavens sake! 😀 , later still I buy a refreshing ice lolly (£2.75 ffs) and three young women hip sway past me wearing the tightest of tops no bras and nipples like Scammell wheel nuts, there are micro-skirts hot-pants crop-tops and bare legs as far as the eye can see…………………..a great day to be alive perhaps not so great for Andrew’s blood pressure
……then guess what two days later heavy black clouds roll in, temperatures drop by 15 degrees and we return to conservatively dressed British normality as if nothing ever happened. Funny old World!
I’m annoyed, thoroughly brassed off and extremely tired, I have just spent the last hour writing a family themed Post which after pressing preview disappeared from view, consequently all my hard work is gone lost forever!
So tonight in place of my ‘long lost masterpiece’, here’s a video I filmed Sunday afternoon and for those of you who haven’t read earlier Posts Holly is the family collie 🙂
I’ve shared pet photos time to time on Blog Andrew, I ‘snapped’ the one below whilst staying over at my brother’s Christmas 2016……….ok that’s seven months ago but what the heck who doesn’t like doggy photos?………….And by the look of all that torn paper I think she’s just finished opening someone else’s present!!!
Incidentally you may remember Holly is a rescue dog who’d spent the early years of her life kept inside a cage, which resided in the kitchen of a Flat with NO GARDEN, frigging disgusting don’t you think? To cut a long story short she had a few problems when my mum rescued her, such as toilet training etc, BUT my mum put her straight and now she’s one of the family, the perfect pet friend……..perhaps don’t purchase a collie unless you have the time and patience to train, that’s very arrogant of me to suggest but they are highly intelligent dogs and require a lot of mental stimulation! But she’s fine now. 🙂
Sorry the photograph from last Christmas, the video was filmed yesterday.
Disclaimer. 🙂 These are the private musings of a middle aged Englishman, me Andrew, also note this Post contains NO nudity, call it my final ‘Just For Fun’ Post. (Maybe 😀 ) and please remember I have a good heart and mean no disrespect.
Two reasons for writing this evening, my Followers already understand I’m slightly obsessed with boobs well least I’m honest! Jo knows I’m currently single at present and I miss squeezing a breast :D, the second reason is I enjoy Cosmic Colette’s YouTube stream and she was kind enough reply to my Comment, even laughed, truth be known hardly any YouTuber’s reply to video comments, why? Btw I have asked permission and she is fine with my Post.
Colette’s YouTube (link left) is themed fun entertainment travelling veganism body image bullying relationships mental health and much much more 🙂
My YouTube is andschannll
I thought I’d write something a little more light hearted today after my rather sombre and serious previous 10 Downing Street posts, truth be known politics is a dirty business and I’m glad not to be a part of it…………………… then again ‘big sigh’ we are all intrinsic to politics 😦
Breasts and bras!
I’ve had the question ‘Why do women wear bras’ playing on my mind this past few days, such a weird contraption dreamt up by a bridge engineer (a man) in ‘ye olde’ Victorian England, so the story goes, mind you the design resembles a suspension bridge, seems logical or maybe “fake news?”
A woman I uhmm used to be ‘friends’ with likened wearing a bra similar to ‘unprintable’, the soreness from underwire’s were truly horrendous, she was one of those girls who’d unclip her bra, give a huge sigh of relief and say “thank God that’s off! Now I can breath!”
I don’t think the video maker Cosmic Colette would mind me sharing her YouTube video, hell I might even tell her I’m sharing her “I haven’t worn a bra in one year!” video because I enjoyed watching and seeing as I’ve commented below her videos before……
So what did you think to her video? She’s lovely (attached 😦 ) and I’ll be honest and agree I can’t understand why women wear bras, they look SO much better without one, in fact Colette’s views and opinions seem pretty compelling reasons why not to wear one!
……. and if you’re saying to yourself ‘so tell me Andrew why an earth are you so interested in bras all of a sudden?’, well think back to my post Helen’s Striptease, the moment where my middle aged neighbour Helen unclipped her bra, well the seed of a post was born there and then……….. plus I’ve gotten nothing better to do this afternoon and boobs are fabulous!
Incidentally I don’t wish to offend anyone and because I’m a perfect gentleman I’m attempting to be both serious and sensitive at the same time and certainly don’t wish to come across as condescending, call this hopefully fun and amusing.
After watching the fascinating video where the lady gives her personal reasons for going braless I decided to do a little research of my own (science fan me) and where do you go if you want to find out a fact or two? Why the internet of course, dig deep enough and it’s surprising what you might learn!!
I Googled ‘reasons not to wear a bra’ this evening and happened across research conducted at a French University, turns out a sports Doctor named Jean-Denis Rouillon spent fifteen years studying the effect bras had on 330 women aged 18-35 then came to the earth shattering conclusion bras are useless!! A bold statement if ever there was one and as you can imagine he created one hell of a worldwide Sh**storm media frenzy!
Fifteen years is a long time to research bras and their effects on boobs, a study which concentrated on understanding ladies yearly breast changes when a bra is worn regularly against never worn and his preliminary results suggested, contrary to popular belief, when a young girl wears a bra from an early age, the bra doesn’t support the chest or reduce back pain or prevent breast sagging, in-fact ‘medically, physiologically and anatomically’ breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity………… the Professor went on to say when interviewed by French media “supported breasts get saggier over time”.
Here’s a useless piece of information for you, many years ago a lady by the name of Rachel (blonde attractive and age 25) and myself were undressing in her bedroom, a casual relationship, well without being indiscreet she was a ‘big girl’ and there we were sitting on her bed together and cometh the time she reaches around her back unclipping the strap of a rather large bra holding rather large boobs, and at the same moment her underwear garment was removed her boobs dropped ‘a mile’, that was a shock and a half I can tell you…. but don’t worry I’m NOT being disrespectful or abusive, both Rachel and her boobs looked absolutely stunning, so very feminine and sucking saggy empty boobs is wonderful……. just thought you’d be interested to know!
Where was I?
Returning to that French sports Doctor. According to his research, young women’s breasts were firmer, ligaments stronger, more toned due to extra breast tissue all because they never wore bras, and better news was to come, women who did NOT wear a bra experienced a 7 millimetre (that’s 0.3-inch) lift in their nipples compared with the women who wore bras……… pretty compelling research and now you’re wondering as to the reasons why?
Well according to the Doctor, he claimed bras have a way of slowing down blood circulation, which therefore reduced breast tone over time so the reasons are as simple as that! Some time after a British Doctor confirmed the research stating:
“For younger women, not wearing a bra will lead to increased collagen production and elasticity, which improves lift in a developing breast.”
Hmm, I’m wondering whether the more mature woman, who’d worn a bra all her life, could suddenly burn her bra and get away with it? Then again do having children rubbish all his data?
One note of caution, the research team did add an important caveat stating women in the French study were not a representative of the population as a whole, which seems right and fair, mind you interesting research all the same!
perhaps the more mature woman should keep her bra on!
To add further weight to the no bra argument if you write ‘why I went braless’ into YouTube’s search engine Google will ‘so I’m told’ display hundreds of videos made by hundreds of women sharing their no bra life stories similar to Collette’s…………. what was life like before YouTube?
So ladies if you’re brave enough comment as to why you wear a bra? Support? Modesty? Attracting men or women or teenage (16+) girls or boys.
Referring to the photo opposite, in my humble opinion going braless can be classy tasteful and yes elegant. I live in the University City of Oxford, a City of ‘year on year’ eternal youth, and every day I’ll see female ladies and students go braless fine by me. However I guess for any of you ladies with exposure on the mind I’d agree with you braless, for obvious reasons, does attract a little more attention, but having said that if more women threw their bras in the bin then both men and women from my parent’s generation might say “what’s all the fuss about?”
So you are maybe asking “what conclusions have you drawn Andrew?” 🙂 None at all except ladies be yourselves, if you like to wear bras ‘wear’, if you prefer not to wear bras ‘don’t’, it’s all good to me………….. but I prefer the ‘don’t wear’ simply because a lady’s natural profile is more feminine flattering and beautiful.
Please comment? Hmm should I stop these ‘amusing’ types of posts and please remember I have a good heart and mean no disrespect 🙂
I Follow an American blogger (a poetess who incidentally doesn’t follow me 🙂 ) and she wouldn’t mind me saying I loved reading her most recent post, briefly the lady shared photographs of her family’s recent vacation to London, after all the terror news it’s great to hear tourists have enjoyed our great Capital City, lightened my heart 🙂
Continued from part one………. Click Here 🙂
I have a certain amount of respect for Richard Nixon, yes you did read that correctly, although I enjoy reading and discussing politics as a general rule I’m extremely careful when commenting on another Countries governance for the simple reason both a naivety and ill informed opinion could get me into a lot of hot water, especially if I’m patently wrong, however I will discuss political issues with people I respect and trust…….. such as a lady named K. from America.
😀 perhaps Nixon’s photograph alongside mine affects my judgement!.
And yes for fear of repeating myself I did say I have a certain amount of respect for Nixon, yes he was a flawed paranoid man and I wouldn’t buy a used car from him but I’ve seen the superb Anthony Hopkins movie, I’ve read ‘All The Presidents Men’ several times, the Hoffman Redford movie twenty times and watched the spine tingling Nixon Frost interviews notably the “I wish to apologise to the American people!!” But you do have to give him credit for his brave China visit, a triumph of friendship and diplomacy, a message to Donald Trump politics is the art of the possible!!!………….and perhaps the success of Nixon’s visit to China is the overriding reason both superpowers have coexisted peacefully for nigh on forty years?
……. and further still I don’t remember Nixon being labelled a misogynist racist pig two appalling and disgusting character traits Trump seems to unforgivably possess when tweeting, so when he visits Britain this autumn, sits alongside the Queen in her golden carriage riding down the Mall, you can forget all talk of trade deals he just wants to parade with our Monarch and I hope he enjoys himself. (Hint of sarcasm there!)
However I’m worried he won’t be accepted with the same warm reception every other US President has received……………… I fear riots, bombings and political unrest as we’ve NEVER witnessed before…….. already the Mayor of London Sadiq Khan has publically stated he won’t shake Trump’s hand, he will he’s a politician!…….. Hopefully the visit ends peacefully.
Time to continue with my Downing Street post before I have you unfollowing in droves, I’d like to suggest the photograph of Mark above remains relevant to a Britain of present day, WE two are more than just boys standing either side of a ‘bobby’ Policeman outside 10 Downing Street, the very heart of Political power, for that brief moment in time Mark and myself have a direct physical connection with the very centre of British Democracy ………the fact we are no longer permitted to walk up Downing Street is in my opinion a freedom lost, one example of how my Country has changed for the worse.
Police holding weapons is an unnerving sight in the UK and to be truthful I’m not totally comfortable with guns in open view, but times have changed so I’ll have to get used to it. If you look to the far right beyond the black and yellow striped ramp you can just about make out Prime Minister Theresa May’s official residence and the Chancellor of the Exchequers next door at No 11.
You’ll understand after recent horrific atrocities London is now in a state of security lockdown, walking the City’s streets are a little more worrying, my discoloured childhood photograph is one small example of how Islamic terror has changed the way we British live our lives, no longer permitted to visit important places now deemed a security risk. But people adapt to troubled times, we’ll be OK, sixty years ago German bombs were raining down upon London and we survived, Democracy stood up to Nazism and won.
Each one of us understands that at any given time, God forbid a guy could drive a white van along Westminster Bridge and mount a curb into members of the public, just imagine the propaganda coup ‘IS’ would claim if a suicide bomber detonated himself outside Number 10 Downing Street, that’s why the entrance below resembles a war time fortress, gates and machine guns confront you but Wednesday last as I walked through HorseGuards along Whitehall turning into Parliament Square I witnessed peaceful demonstrations, a comforting sign Britain’s Democracy is alive and well.
Here’s a ‘Free Society’ question for you, is President Trump visiting London a great idea? Or should democracy prevail and grant Trump a State visit, he’s Tweeted he wants to ride down the Mall sitting next to the Queen in her gold carriage!
We took Obama to our hearts but Trump? Riots? Bombings? F*ck!!!! ……. being as this is my blog Post perhaps I should answer the question should President Trump visit Britain later this year? I’ve given this question a great deal of thought and I’m saddened to say perhaps put off the visit for a while, ……… my apologies America.
It’s been quite a while since I last posted a favourite music post, well here’s ‘Gorillaz’ playing ‘We Got The Power’ live on ‘The Graham Norton Show’…………the best chat show on the planet bar none!
I’m an engineer by trade, a toolmaker who used to work in a foundry as an apprentice, well ‘We Got The Power’ features a large bell cast at the Whitechapel bronze foundry, alas the factory is no more having been closed a few years and incidentally they cast the United States Liberty Bell.
Two reasons for sharing, I love the song, I’m singing it to myself all day long and I think Jehnny Beth from post punk band ‘The Savages’ is gorgeous…………..such a sexy woman and fabulous singer ❤ . Enjoy
I don’t think I need to explain who Damon Alban and virtual band Gorillaz are and that this track is from their new album……. you already know that 🙂
(“We Got the Power” is a song by alternative rock virtual band Gorillaz, featuring Jehnny Beth of British post-punk band Savages and backing vocals from former Oasis guitarist and songwriter Noel Gallagher and American rapper D.R.A.M., who also appears on the group’s single “Andromeda”. The song was released on 23 March 2017. It was released as the second single from their fifth studio album Humanz) courtesy of Wikipedia.
©Andrew. Think for a second how you’d honestly react if you witnessed a close neighbour stripping naked? Lol would you close the curtains and return to bed? Or would you go find those binoculars so you could watch? Human beings are voyeurs at heart, just some more ‘pervy’ than others! 😀
‘Where to begin? I’ll set the scene that’s a good place to start…………… One evening a good few years ago I was peeking through my slightly parted bedroom curtains, my body propped up against the window sill gazing out across the fields which lay behind the house opposite, tonight I was watching a truly spectacular thunder and lightening display, this evening I was privileged to witnessing mother nature’s awe inspiring power, raw unbridled magnificent energy, every few minutes I felt my house shake after loud claps of thunder overhead, several minutes further and my eyes would be momentarily blinded by phosphorous white lightening strikes thunderstorms so very specific to English hot summers, then finally tarmac bouncing rain quenching England of all stifling heat and humidity………….. luckily the rain would stay away for a few hours longer!!!
……….. below this display of electric lightening and bedroom rocking thunder a bright light suddenly appeared from the third story room window opposite, an angled rooftop window set against grey tiles, and a white luminance so bright it woke me from my magnificent daydream, so what vision did my focusing eyes see?
There standing before me in clear close view was the silhouette of a slim auburn haired middle aged lady standing waist up behind her window sill………. I knew her to speak to as my neighbour across the Street, a lady called Helen (not really), age 45ish attractive in a yummy mummy sort of way, I fancied her of course and she’s happily married to a lovely guy but I wouldn’t say no if she asked, I’ve seen her picking up leaves in the front garden and she’s a handsome figure of a woman, a young looking sexy 45 year old, even after ‘blank’ children she still has a trim figure.
In a state of nerves and shock, my mind trying to process what the f#ck was happening over the road, I quickly ran and rummaged through a draw for my binoculars, God knows how I didn’t break my neck on the laminate flooring, then quick as a flash I regained my position and with hands shaking drew the lenses to my eyes. I can remember clearly the moment Helen’s bright window appeared, crystal clear and pin sharp, a vision so close now I could make out expressions on her face and the room within, my heart pounding catching my breath I propped my elbows on the sill and watched!!!!! I’d seen breasts down blouses before, by chance mind, but now I was a proper voyeur lol.
I’ve seen and chatted to Helen many times before but seeing her tonight was a whole lot different, I assumed this was her spare room but I’ve no idea it being situated above my eye line and set well back behind Street’s view, no one but me could see Helen and she was safe in the knowledge I wouldn’t be watching however I was, all very Hitchcock’s Rear Window! Well tonight for 25 minutes or so she went about her homely duties, mainly carrying bundles of clothes around the room, folding sheets, putting clean washing in draws? Who knows, just understand Helen was busy and I’m excited, both engrossed and fascinated I watched as she’d paused time to time under the apex of this small cramped space, stopping aside the smallish square open window, blind open, visible waist up, me watching….incredible!
Each time Helen paused her domestic routine I could see she was wearing a skin tight yellow tee shirt so visibly figure hugging I made out the profile of her bosom but the height of the window meant I could see no lower. Observing her was enough and I wasn’t masturbating, she looked so lovely against this bright white light, still calm and deep in thought a side of her I’d never witnessed, a lovely lady and I fancied her AND yes I agree with you I was invading her privacy!
Well after a few minutes of innocent voyeurism all the more exciting because the female recipient was unaware, she paused again and did something so shocking I remember swallowing hard and the binoculars trembling, Helen suddenly pulled up her shirt from the waist moving her arms skywards stripping off the garment over her head, then she held it up to the light (not window) looked at it then folded and threw to her side, at this point I was totally stunned, gobsmacked, omg I couldn’t believe I was actually watching her undress for the first and only time in my life! Jesus a performance like this only really happens in filthy novels and artistic movies. To say I was amazed is a frigging understatement, my mind was alive, my heart was pounding, the tip of my penis quivering, the lady opposite was wearing only a pretty white bra set against her pink naked body, Helen’s gorgeous and I’m partial to naturel small breasts.
Seconds later she reached her arms behind her back, unclipped her bra allowing the white straps to glide down her arms before again tossing the undergarment to her side, minutes ago I’d been watching the approaching soon to be thunderstorm peeking through curtains, and by pure glorious coincidence I now see an illuminated nude like painting of the lady opposite near completely naked and all with my binocular lens centred on her perfect small pert breasts, her pink skin and auburn hair. Nothing below mind but I didn’t care, tonight I was a voyeur intimately watching my neighbour Helen undress and in hindsight I’m at a loss as to why I didn’t faint or have a heart attack. Unbelievable! Incredible! Beautiful! OMFG!!!! Voyeurism is wrong but by God forbidden fruit tastes sweet.
Throughout this striptease performance I’d asked myself ‘what’s she looking at her gaze fixed on something across the room?’ She’d been alone, was it a mirror or picture and I could sense Helen’s mind is distracted by something, then she startled me, she stretched an arm straight up in the air and proceeded to move her other hand below the armpit gently smoothing the palm against her skin, methodically caressing in circling motions a picture of concentration etched across her face.
I should I have turned away shouldn’t I? Closed the curtains and gone back to bed! You must be f&%king joking legally it’s my window sill and the view out is mine!
Of course I kept watching.
Helen caressessed squeezed prodded her breasts with two fingers then switching hands she repeated this now obvious checking ritual beneath the other pit of her upwardly stretched arm, all the while her face a picture of serene concentration, she even held both boobs at once as if pointing squirting sprays of milk at a mirror and now I’m sure she’s looking at her reflection in a mirror opposite? Of course by now I’d worked out what she was doing, I was witness to something very private and intimate, she was examining her breasts in a time honoured womanly routine her wistful calmness so beautiful it touched my soul (true), she’d been of course feeling for changes within her breasts, I hope to God there were none and of course tonight I was a very VERY lucky man.
So a question to any ladies reading and judging voyeur Andrew, remember that definition, I ask if you happened to be watching a neighbour strip naked then feel squeeze examine his testicles what would you do? Close the curtains? Go to bed? Or satisfy your voyeuristic appetite? Come on be honest now, no please don’t, but I have my own idea what you’d all do, one or two would be in bed long before now and the rest would have their hand down the front of their knickers doing the things girls do, remember I’m NOT a nasty man.
So how did your late night adventure end Andrew? Well her breast examinations lasted five minutes then all of a sudden something startled her, perhaps a noise from the Street below or a sudden awareness she was in-fact standing naked in her bedroom, lights on, aside an open window because tonight was so damn hot and humid, who knows? But quick as a flash she pulled a forearm across her chest covering her breasts at the same time leaning forward forcibly pulling down the blind shut!!
Performance over I caught my breath, my heart rate lowered as I climbed into bed and most amusingly of all still holding my binoculars, I woke up next morning with them! Then I slept like a baby totally utterly exhausted and btw at no point did I masturbate myself a middle aged man can only take so much excitement in one evening. Have I ever seen her undress again? NO because I never look out of my window unless there’s lightening to watch thunder to hear, in-fact that statement is absolutely true. So consequently I’ve never seen her undress again or honestly attempted to, yes even on humid warm balmy evenings because I know for fact striptease displays, a naked woman, live breast examinations are coincidences that happen once in a guy’s lifetime.’
So there you are, last time I published this I questioned ‘is my voyeurism a true tale or fiction? Is my incredibly vivid and erotic memory so etched across my mind only a story? I’ll allow the reader to decide’, well the evenings events as written actually happened, judge me she certainly would, fabulous and all very Jimmy Stewart in Hitchcock’s ‘Rear Window’.
Ladies I’ll leave you with one thought, be careful what you are doing late at night in your bedroom because someone might be be watching! 😀
© All Photographs taken by Andrew, all Video filmed by Andrew and Narration by Andrew. 🙂
Whilst looking back through Wednesdays photographs something rather puzzling struck me, ‘why an earth is the grass so short Andrew?’ I mean you should see my jungle of a back garden when I haven’t mown the lawn in a week, yet this Parkland resembles a golf course? All very odd must remember to Google. NOT.
As you may be aware if you ‘read’ pt1, Wednesday previous I walked around Blenheim Palace grounds taking lots of photos, incidentally that’s in Oxfordshire England. Unfortunately the video isn’t as good a quality as I’d like, never mind perhaps I should invest in a new camera or buy a new phone it’s on my wish ‘list’.
So rather than ‘publish’ a part 3 blog Post here’s the remaining photographs and video (have I told you they’re all taken by me?), So if you’d like a short historical synopsis please read part 1.
(Briefly Blenheim Palace is the ancestral home of the Duke and Duchess of Marlborough built in the 1700’s with stunning ornamental grounds, and England’s Prime Minister Winston Churchill was born here.) That wasn’t tooo painful was it. 🙂
A question for you. Have you ever visited a place you know you visited as a child but forgotten about? Well my gentle walk around Blenheim estate was one of those experiences, a beautiful summers afternoon when memories of times past filtered back into my imagination all prompted by the idyllic Parkland scenery. Like the time as a ‘Boy Scout’ I gained my Woodland and Forestry badge chain sawing trees and watching birds. Happy days and according to my nephew did you know they allow girls into the Scouts now? 😀 Sounds fabulous, twelve go camping for a weekend returning with thirteen!
On another occasion I fondly remember picnicking with my parents and grandparents under a tree and my grandmother spreading out a white linen table cloth as if in her front room, picture us seven drinking tea from fine china cups (with saucers), an ‘Alice in Wonderland’ tea party laid out on a forest floor all very surreal but at the same time wonderful! The only trouble is the older you get the more times you’re struck by these rather depressing deja vu.
A very warm July day! But Mustn’t complain this is England after all.
The following is a 4 photograph panorama. (Moving left-right)
The lake in front of the Palace has many types of wildfowl take this swan with signet below.
© Andrew 🙂
© All Photographs taken by Andrew, all Video filmed by Andrew and Narration by Andrew. 🙂
Just so as don’t think these are old photos out of my album, they’re taken 05/07/2017
Video taken looking down toward the Lake (not the best video camera ever but no matter!)
If you’ve followed my ‘blog’ for any length of time, thank you btw, you’ll know my uploads tend to be ‘all over the place’……….. low boredom threshold? Anyways no harm done, todays Post was intended to be my recent visit to Downing Street London part 2, lol it’ll have to wait! After I woke up this morning, I opened the bedroom curtains the sun was shining the sky was blue so I visited Blenheim Palace (County of Oxfordshire,) and incidentally the videos I filmed are uploaded onto YouTube.
You’re all busy people so I’ll keep the text brief, be honest when we want to find out factual and historical information we go straight to Wikipedia, so click on the link here (‘yawn’ lol bet you didn’t bother neither did I 😀 )
A quick Synopsis: Blenheim Palace is the home to the Duke and Duchess of Malborough, was built early 1700’s and is a World Heritage Site, another interesting fact Winston Churchill PM was born and raised here. The Palace and Grounds are one of the largest in Great Britain and getting in the house costs £24 to look inside, I didn’t, blow that for a game of soldiers!
Possibly the ONE important piece of information you need to know is the lake and bridge situated in front of the Palace are completely man made being designed by the famous landscape architect Capability Brown………. a name to remember!
Imagine Capability like this, when you all landscape your own back gardens installing a nature pond, planting flowers well Capability Brown did the same with Blenheim Palace Grounds but on a much larger scale! The panoramic landscape you are looking at in my photos was completely man made, before the Palace existed the landscape was flat agricultural farm land………interesting fact don’t you think?
Well I hope you enjoyed looking at them, there is a part 2 there’s also the Downing Street follow up ………. and there are loads more pictures and video of Blenheim.
Remember the days when a British ‘Bobby’ didn’t have to carry an automatic weapon, in 2017 he’ll have one hand tightly gripping a gun barrel and the other trigger finger ready!!!
At the time this photo was taken Mark and I were still quite young children and if you read ‘A happy childhood’ you’ll recall my father had little time off from his chosen employment, so in place of fixed holidays my mother would take us boys on day trips instead, don’t go all tearful on me, there were no week long holidays in theme Parks or overseas sandy beaches to build sand castles on (I’m joking) but that’s ok, isn’t a happy childhood all about life experiences just as much as expensive holidays in exotic Countries?
Usually travelling by train we’d visit places of interest often educational, other days the three of us would cycle Oxfordshire’s country lanes with a picnic for lunch, all lol very Enid Blyton………. perhaps Google her name the lady’s a famous writer of childhood fiction much criticised and frowned upon these days for political correctness reasons, unfairly in my opinion, I enjoyed the youngster’s scrapes and adventures in a picture book 1950’s England that never was.
I love the picture of Richard Nixon.
Where was I? Yes, mum would take us on day trips to places of interest and this particular day we three travelled by train to London visiting attractions like Buckingham Palace, The Tower of London, incidentally the day that picture above was taken, us in our smart brown anoraks, London was a new adventure being our first time in such an historic City………..
……..and yes of course we two are standing in front of 10 Downing Street the iconic home of British Prime Minister’s with a Policeman always at the door.
I say iconic because whichever Country you come from you’ll recognise that shiny black door with white lettering, and American readers will be naming their five US Presidents all standing next to PMs of their day. They are of course Presidents Nixon, Reagan, Bush Senior, Bush Junior, Obama and not forgetting our own heroic Winston Churchill PM.
To think I’m standing exactly in the foot steps of probably the most powerful man of his time, Richard Nixon! Wow, even all these years later I find my discoloured fragile photo quite awe inspiring……………….. and certainly NOT photo shopped!!!
So there you are, yet ANOTHER treasured family photograph and for those of you who’ve read the odd family post of mine you’ll be aware I’ve shared many special snapshots, incidentally my most liked and commented posts.
HOWEVER times have changed, I visited London a few weeks ago knowing the City would look very different after the many recent atrocities 😦 threats of Islamic terrorism are the reason 10 Downing Street now resembles the fortress below, no longer would I be Free to wander up and stand in front of that iconic black door so my mum could take a family photograph, a UK citizen’s right now gone forever!
(To be continued)
Original and written by me Andrew
🙂 My promised London terrorism Posts will have to wait, you see I read an internet News story, as you do, became distracted and started writing about something completely different instead……..anyways I enjoyed myself which is all that counts.
I’ve a question for you.
Am I unique or unusual or both never seeing a photograph of a fully nude woman until child age 10? Sleepy Town upbringing and all that!
Skip forward one year. Me age @11, my brother, Paul Townsend and his older sister Helen and a nameless girl I can’t remember, are standing inside my parents garden shed and Helen says “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”…………..SECONDS later my mother who had been listening outside, flings open the door and angrily says “all of you go to your homes” 😀 one minute longer I’d have seen a vagina, it would be three more years before another!……………..
(Helen and I started different schools soon after this incident!)
1 minute longer!!!! Why do I remember this story so vividly?
Hold on, don’t leave me yet that’s the tacky part over, this is a tale of first love childhood innocence and a Sex Ed. lesson I’d never forget. However my teacher left out one important ‘fact of life’, omitted something which took many years to find out, a fact that still angers me…………well it used to 🙂
Be aware this Post is not at all creepy or sordid, possibly not every ones cup of tea but it’s all very sweet and gentle, retelling one of those milestones in life you think about time to time, possibly prompted by a story of present day sexual politics like this one….. a World gone mad?
Is the Manageress correct? Is the bathing suit inappropriate? Would the children be mentally scarred for life misunderstanding it’s the adults who are over reacting? Is a butt tooo big for its bathing suit harmful to young minds?
Or am I the one at fault thinking she looks fine?
(Btw I have age 8 and 10 nephews, I get it! I also see the work my brother goes through with ‘locking’ passwords!)
Back to me never having seen a full frontal nude woman…………mollycoddled and all that, no interweb!
I don’t envy parents in 2017, a 10 year old if ‘unlocked’ could show his friends all manner of sordid pictures on his iPhone, picture a group of confused bewildered babes watching acts they shouldn’t be, or images no one should see in their lifetime, and all via school playground free WIFI. You think I’m joking?
😀 Returning to me! If you’re at all curious, back in the day I never came across photographs of a woman’s vagina until age 10, honest! My first time being in a Primary School’s ‘special events’ classroom consisting of 30 immature students listening incredulously to a sex education class taught by one Miss Aspley……….lol a wonderful woman!
Decades have passed now and most of my youthful memories, good and bad are forgotten, however I do remember being first aware of a female’s sexuality at age 10 but at the same thinking her attractive more than sexual. We can all roughly date our blossoming sexual maturity milestones can’t we? I remember taking a bath one evening, looking down and seeing my first pubic hair, honestly, an image burnt into my mind then stored in my brain’s picture folder.
I do remember one unusual observation, discussing ‘hardness’ with my friend Martin Ashby age 10 though not understanding what they actually were for! No the only real memories captured by my imagination were for a certain teacher called Miss Aspley, she stirred first feelings of attraction, a childish love perhaps brought on by a sweet smile, a dress that looked nice, her pretty face who knows? But I know I liked her!……..And incidentally a model teacher in every way.
Would Miss Aspley wearing a high cut pink bathing suit have corrupted my young mind?
A child’s first intellectual relationship in formative years is with their Primary School teacher, parents not withstanding. My Miss Aspley was bright, seemed to have answers to all life’s questions reading imaginative stories at end the day, and like with us all childhood literature stays with us for life. Miss was engaging firm amusing all attractive qualities irrespective of age and certain ‘bomb shell’ facts taught by her in class come back to me, true, and incidentally my mother met her many years later at a funeral and she’d a daughter of her own, and isn’t it written as gospel children will have a crush on their first teacher, or are we talking adolescents?
Where was I, oh yes reasons to be romantically attached to that special school teacher even children in early formative years and again I ‘loved’ Miss Aspley as much as a 10 year old can ahh. I never described her did I?
“Miss” was a tall slim fresh faced lady, thirtyish (old) classically English rose in appearance always most definitely wearing below the knee skirts and always conservatively dressed. Though I can’t recall her face I know for certain she was very pretty with long flame red hair as fine and straight as is possible to get, I’ve refrained from using the word elegance that gives visions of sophistication and remember I’m only 10! Pretty fits nicely.
Returning to a young child’s knowledge of sexuality, do women with big buts walking around swimming pools really have a bad influence on their minds? Common! I cannot remember a woman’s body remotely sexualised at age 10, honestly. Are things different now? Yes the internet and dark web!
My young nephew said “ouch you kicked me in the penis” when his brother hit him down there……………….and my mother swallowed hard!
So yes pretty Miss Aspley stirred inexplicable feelings of attraction, an immature sexual awakening , a warmth of feelings plus a little bit more. Whichever lol all I know is I did like her, knitted jumpers in winter buttoned to the neck blouses in summer, nothing ever remotely revealing perhaps I was just enchanted by her appearance and femininity, as far as a 10 year olds perception goes. Why do I recall my first crush so clearly? Yes there’ll be serious infatuation’s with educational goddesses in years to come, but Miss Aspley is remembered because she’s my first love, as an aside isn’t a girl’s first crush her best friends father?
So back to those 30 mixed sex pre pubescent children sitting cross legged on a coarse itchy carpet in the headmasters ‘special events’ classroom. Curtains were drawn, lights turned off Miss Aspley standing at the back operating a slide projector. I can vaguely remember thinking there was something special about today, anticipated, 30 suspicious bemused children or perhaps I’m looking back through rose tinted spectacles? So there we all are, seated gazing up at a stand alone white screen on the opposite side of the room……waiting!
And so the slide show begins with room hushed to total silence (unusual for 10 year olds) Miss Aspley behind me narrating with her knowledgeable soft calmness, saying very little as black and white photographs passed before our eyes, dwelling longer on the reproductive diagrams AND THEN for the first time in my life I saw a photograph of a nude woman and her vagina, AN image that’s etched into my visual mind for all eternity, I see her face now yet many other Primary School memories are lost……so strange only particular photos remain for life! Neurons synapses fused visible for years to come.
Good that 😀 (only joking)
The nude young lady in the slide show hadn’t a particularly appealing face, bored even, a short woman with a typically English pear shaped figure wide child bearing hips and not in the least bit sexualised. As for her breasts, large, no drama here, I’d watched my neighbour Mrs H. breastfeed daughter number three plenty of occasions! …………. And again I can’t remember female breasts being sexualised at age 10, probably because I’d viewed them as producing milk keeping her infant alive.
Back to the swimming pool, a bathing suit? Really?
Don’t prompt me for any more facts gleaned from that Sex Ed. lesson because I remember little else, apart from that is, a photo of a tall naked gentleman with beard and glasses having a mass of jet back pubic hair surrounding his penis………again no big deal, unfortunately I’d caught glimpses of my father to understand hair sprouted from that region down below, yuck!!!!!
So there you, a life changing day for me at least, a Sex Ed. lesson over very quickly, we’re imparted the basics of reproduction, diagrams depicting a tadpole’s travels from testicle to egg via insertion of the bits, a series of un-sexy black and white photographs of the naked male and female human mammal, and again for reasons of a need to know basis I cannot remember the library having ANY sex education books.
Shouldn’t all childhoods be this way, a never to be forgotten lesson, a first attraction to a female but not understanding why? I’m back to Enid Blyton literature now……………..did you Google?
All in all my sex education lasted half an hour with NO questions and very much on message narration by ‘matter of fact’ Miss Aspley, but I do remember her as humourless without a hint of embarrassment and almost definitely bored witless. A brief memorable Sex Ed. lesson with graphic content little more than a series of photos (I think!) accompanied by sketchy diagrammatic theories of reproduction, no placing rolled up condoms on the tips of bananas, a fruit chosen for length diameter and curve, giggling excited children unfurling sperm barriers by use of their mouths. I’m KIDDING!!!
So there you are that was the breadth of my sexual knowledge for years and years to come and still amuses me till this day that I no comprehension of what a vagina looked like until age 10, if you’re interested the next was age 14 and only then after purchasing that copy of MAYFAIR from a boy in the sports hall changing room…………ahh but for one minute more…….remember Helen!
How times have changed…………………..horrifically for the worse, the dark web, abuse.
STIs and masturbation came years later, but annoyingly Miss Aspley said NOT a single WORD OF MASTURBATION, I had a right to be informed my body was capable of giving intense feelings of pleasure, special, safe enjoyable healthy for mind body and spirit, yes at age 10 she should have told me, but not a single word, I’m kept in the dark for years to come. Ignorance did have harmful consequences later in life and I’m still annoyed about that, I didn’t work out ‘how to’ for many years to come and not being told is inexcusable, even Biology at Secondary School was just as bad,
A personal friend Emma says “I think I worked it out for myself ” hmm why didn’t I?
We should live our lives without fear of censorship shouldn’t we, education is empowerment, knowledge gives us judgement, lets us make informed decisions, corrects mistakes.
Tell children how to masturbate and the reasons why!!! Of course now I’d go to the NHS website but back in the day? ………..Word of mouth and a 4 channel TV set.
The internet, an innocence lost…………. 🙂 I get it!
So returning to my school lesson for one final time, Miss Aspley’s unwrapped and opened her Pandora’s box, 30 children have just realised adults have been keeping them in the dark and no harm was done. Sex Ed. lesson over, lights are switched on, curtains are drawn and this slim pretty lady with flame red hair walks calmly to the front of my class, stands by the white silk screen and as God is my witness I can remember thinking………….
‘Miss take all your clothes off!’ A sexual awakening if ever there was one 😀
How time fly’s by, a few weeks ago I posted Andrew plays with himself featuring my new Amazon purchased Fidget Pad (with video), and now it’s nearing end of June already!
But not to worry here’s Part 2 and btw I’ve written something else which I’ll publish in a few days time (now in draft). Short story, I visited London last week and have a tale to tell.
A disclaimer, if you’ve read my blog before you may be relieved to know the day wasn’t about getting laid, I did have a casual liaison early June mind but that’s a whole different story! Ever heard the saying ‘there’s a first time for everything’, well when she took her bra off my eyes were drawn to two thin red lines beneath her breasts, she’d had implants hadn’t she, first time I’ve ever squeezed falsies!
My verdict? Silicone is rather tooo firm for my liking, ok I guess but in my opinion natural is always best, as an aside why do women feel they have to go under the surgeons knife especially when sagging empty boobs are just as lovely ❤
Back to this damn Fidget Pad 😀
This’ll be a short post because I’m in two minds as to whether this over-hyped product is worth the expense, Fidgets pass the time, but my advice is if you’re gonna buy a Pad or Cube keep in mind you could get just as much fidgeting enjoyment from playing with a clothes peg…………you know the one with the metal spring.
I’m perhaps being a little disingenuous, these toys are very tactile and I do find myself fiddling with the buttons switches and rotating toggles whilst doing other things such as watching YouTube videos. But as for all those bold medical claims, I’m totally unqualified to say if Fidget Toys are a comfort to those with ADHD or Autism, I do hope so and wouldn’t it be interesting to hear what parents or medical experts have to say rather than just corporate Amazon.
Posts to come soon, Andrew
© London Evening Standard
I have to admit I was in two minds whether to write something after London’s Terror Attack, so much has already been broadcast and written about but then I came across this photograph of 2 year old Ameer Hussein laying flowers close to the scene. London Manchester and Britain must heal divisions after these horrendous attacks or there’s no hope is there? We have to remember Britain is a multicultural society, perhaps redress the balance with imagery, fewer pictures of Counter Terrorism Police and more photos reminding us that in order to move on Faiths have to learn to live together or at least coexist peacefully.
(Call this Part 1. I just filmed the video AND thought why not make a start 🙂 )
Question. Do you have something you play with when you’re bored?
Of course the answer’s “YES!”
Only trouble is, it’s not socially acceptable to play with one’s genitals whilst sitting in the dentists waiting room is it? 😀 So we’re talking “phew” toys!
(Mind you I have an ‘on-the-bus’ story I may share one day 😉 )
Ok if you watched MY YouTube video first you’ll have deduced I’m NOT talking tales of pleasure, read my Posts and you’ll know I’m rather obsessed with that, no watch the video and you’ll know I’m referring tooo…….
…..and unless you’ve been living under a stone you’ll know ‘Fidget Stress Toys’ are products designed by an American non profit Organisation for those suffering from anxiety or ADHD, or just as important to Play with!
To be continued………………………
© Video filmed by Andrew, narrated by Andrew, uploaded on my YouTube, apologies for a rather short Post, call this an Intro 🙂 )
Alyssa just to back up the comment I left on your YouTube Vlog 🙂 here’s a brief quick message. Short story, I stopped ‘blogging’ (loosest sense of the word) because I guess I well ran out of ideas, then I didn’t write for a few days, which became a week, which became a month, three!………………. and before you know it I’d finished………..shame really 😦
(This Blog Andrew was well received as in likes and comments which was nice and my Posts are supremely honest, much like your Vlog, however I’m not to be over-thought about, more airport paperback than word weighty literature……no heavy topics just hopefully Posts that amuse and interest).
…………..and a blog Post.
Here’s a thing, perhaps I will write something today, like at present I’m signed off six weeks from work because I tripped walking across Market Square, hit my head on the pavement and fractured my cheek bone in four places!!! One fracture depressed as well. But I’ll survive 🙂
Then I was driven by ambulance to Oxford’s A and E Hospital where I spent 10hours being X-rayed, cut stitched and importantly observed because I’d suffered a blow to the head I say 10hours, but that’s ok I’m NOT complaining, our National Health Service is a wonderful British Institution, where if required you can visit and see skilled Doctors and Surgeon’s, who’ll assesse and treat you and the care is absolutely free. But I’m afraid the 10hours waiting time is synonymous with an overstretched underfunded health service but again that’s ok I’m happy to wait my turn 🙂
Incidentally for all you morons who voted for BREXIT, our Health Service workers namely cleaners Doctors Nurses Surgeons are employed from right across the globe……every Country under the sun…….shame on you for voting out.
That’s enough Politics 🙂
On the bright side, there I was sitting on a bed with curtains pulled around and every fifteen minutes a nurse would ‘pop-in’ lol to check I was compos mentis and still in the land of the living……….jury’s out on whether I was interesting to speak to but seriously they were lovely and all under age 25? What about that then! I ain’t no perv btw.
And I forgot to tell you all three ambulance Paramedics were ladies and one of them looked like she could have been a supermodel, tall slim beautiful hair tied in a bun, but seriously all caring humane professional delightful young women………and very amusing which I guess helps relax injured patients.
Photo’s of Oxford’s wonderful ‘John Radcliffe Hospital’
Joking apart the experience wasn’t fun, fracturing cheek bones ISN’T funny it’s f*cking painful and incidentally the first bones I’ve broken in my whole life, not to be advised either because whatever the writing on the packet says pain killing tablets don’t work!
Forgot to say I need dental work as well! All due to the fact I hit my head so hard a filling shot out! Sounds expensive.
Moving forward two days I attended the John Radcliffe Hospital again as an Outpatient at their ‘Oral Reconstruction Fracture Clinic’ where, huge sigh of relief, I was told by a lovely male Swiss Doctor I wouldn’t require Surgery………. God that was great News because a friend of my mums’ went into the same Hospital for Spinal Surgery and came out infected by an MRSA Hospital Superbug.
You see Great Britain’s operating theatres are gripped by these f*****g drug resistant superbugs and the world’s running out of antibiotics, it’s scary to think there’s only two drugs left which work…………hope to God more are developed……Companies are working on it!
Btw I’m not being flippant, the fact we’re running out of antibiotics that work could pose…..well you get the idea. China feeding them to livestock doesn’t help!
One photo the Swiss Doctor did show me on his computer monitor was the X-ray of my skull, the one taken at my visit to A and E, at one point in the consultation he looked at me with a smile and said,
“Pretty cool don’t you think?”
“YES :)” I replied gleefully, just Google they’re well impressive 😮
And yes IT was!!! Only wish I could have a j-peg copy as souvenir but I didn’t ask, these busy specialists have more important things to worry about than blogs lol………..still my skull’s four white fracture lines were quite impressive……………..LOL shows how ill I am!!!
So that’s enough writing for today, sun’s out and I’m going back out into my garden with glass of chilled apple juice to hand and sit in my ‘blue and white’ stripy deck chair enjoying the sun’s warmth on my face, I love that……..seriously though I think I’ve been a lucky boy, my head injury could have been a lot LOT worse 😦
Omg it’s only started raining!!!! (and btw that’s not poetic license, it has!)
Finally I’ve been able to link the Trailer video hence the reblog.
If you’re unaware ‘T2 Trainspotting’ was released in cinemas on Sunday, then you’ll not be a fan of the original 1996 ‘Trainspotting’ which was of course a movie and nothing to do with trains!
Love the first and you’ll love T2
Btw I work half days On Fridays and watched the film at Oxford’s Odeon this afternoon, a few hours ago!
This isn’t a Movie Review just a brief message to say if you enjoyed the film in 1996 you’ll not be disappointed so GO SEE AT THE CINEMA for the true movie experience, it’ll not be the same film on ‘Netflix’! And if you live outside the UK I urge you to watch, this is a time capsule showing the real UK as it looks in 2017.
I’ve had a great deal of trouble trying to show also link the YouTube official Trailer video here on my blog but cannot? 🙂 However the video exists so go to YouTube to watch, then read a couple of movie reviews and if you enjoy fun escapism then go and see T2…….. at the Cinema 🙂
However if you’ve no idea as to what all the fuss is about and you’ve heard there is bad language(c#nt word), one or two sex scenes, male nudity (also a very sexy Bulgarian lady’s tits), drug taking and violence (fights no blood)…..there is! BUT note being a ‘Danny Boyle’ movie none of the above adult material is gratuitous and the film is as described………’A Dark Comedy’, the sex and violence will make you laugh rather than be disgusted, so if you love the 1996 0riginal then you’ll know what to expect.
T2 Trainspotting is rated 18+
On a personal note the graphic drug taking scenes in ‘Trainspotting’ did at the time and still do make me feel rather uncomfortable, does the movie trivialise and glorify drug abuse? Hmm isn’t supposed to be! Anyways I’m giving no spoilers, the pros of filming drug taking still makes me nervous.
No matter I trust Director ‘Danny Boyle’s’ judgement 🙂
Film reviews are extremely personal to the writer, therefore recommendations are fraught with problems. For example I hate ‘Rambo’ because I’m lonely and depressed therefore I love happy endings where the main characters are hugging and kissing and crying and living happily ever after.
You pays your money and makes your choice 😀
T2 btw isn’t a romcom.
I’ll finish now and leave you with one thought, if you loved the first you’ll love T2 if only to compare what 20 years of aging does to the human body, there’s a depressing thought! 20 years IS the special effect!
(Thank you to the 4 ladies for commenting yesterday 🙂 However I decided to delete the/your replies basically because I wouldn’t want someone to read this ‘amusing post’ with very adult themes then forward to your blog, the internet being the internet and all that, my choice, perhaps you have second thoughts also? Like I said your comments were 🙂 appreciated (very) and useful as regards twitter and facebook and Instagram…….. anyways you get the idea. If a post is good enough (haha whatever that means), entertaining enough then people will like, the post was just for fun anyway. TY
😮 🙂 😀 😦 😉 (awesome for a sex blogger) 😛 XD 😡 😕 😳 🙄 😎 ❤
Btw aren’t Emojis the best invention EVER! Seriously, they’re awesome add one yellow smilie to a sentence and it sets your emotions alight, and the iPhone Emojis are even MORE FABULOUS!!! Did you know they’re the product of texting in olden days when a phone message had so few characters users resorted to LMAO LMFAO……….
But I hate LOL, why? Is anyone actually Laughing Out Loud? My niece say lol within a spoken sentence, strange but adorable. Andrew)
I’m always curious as to why a blog falls silent, not because I’m nosey I’m just curious, have they gone ghost or finished forever? Especially interested if I’ve enjoyed Following. I’ve been on WP 2 years now, 2 years is a long time but I do lack inspiration which is fine, perhaps I ask to much of a simple free website? (I do) I may take a break. Anyways thank you for each view like and comment, you made me so happy.
If you didn’t consider my ‘writing‘ varied eclectic and haphazardly ‘all over the place’ before this Post then you haven’t read this one yet.
My first and only Re blog……….. 60 Likes!
A blogging observation which really did catch me unawares, an age thing, and I’m surprised it’s taken SO long for the ‘penny to drop’ when WordPress gives us the sharing tools …………. yes I speak of clicking those tiny icons which send you to Twitter and Facebook! Duh so obvious.
‘WordPress is pants as regards social interaction (if you’re not very good), you have to be on Twitter!’
I didn’t write that btw, they’re not my words, whoever did goes top of the class and at the same time proving I’m slow on the pick up, social media adds an extra dimension to WP.
If I decide to take a break I’ll continue to scroll my Reader, my imagination requires it’s daily fix of amusement and intellectual stimulation to ever walk away, I watch little TV the internet is far more fun. Here’s a thought, whoever coined the phrase ‘self abuse’ as an alternative description and deranged idea masturbating is bad for you? Must have been those two faced Victorians who’s values Margaret Thatcher said we should return back to. B#ll sh#t what values? The ones that branded Charles Dickens a criminal, placed him in debtors prison just because he found himself on hard times, thank God for a Welfare State.
Time for adult themes, (there has to be with me, some like and they’re fun to make), as always if at least one person enjoys then I’m truly happy 🙂 )
Def masturbation– Stimulation of the genitals with the hand for sexual pleasure
“There are two kinds of people in the world, those who masturbate and those who lie!”
Wanking! An unusual habit all those tingly sensations and waves of pleasure, I’m immature lol, playing with oneself does fascinate me, always has done, all aspects and God knows why it’s scorned upon? There’s loads of medical benefits and more.
I read that ‘2 kinds of….’ gem in a borrowed copy of GQ Magazine and for some reason it’s one of those useless pieces of information that attaches itself to a brain synapse or whatever and will never shift or disappear………… I probably have all my neurological brain biology mixed up but you get the idea.
Humour me, sex amuses the child in me.
Like I said I won’t write a Post, yes playing with oneself is incredibly pleasurable but more importantly clinicians and psychiatrists say masturbation is good for ones general health and mental well being, that idea fascinates me, you know all those pleasure giving chemicals serotonin and dopamine being released from the brain making me high, so powerful they produce orgasmic sensations men spend the rest of their lives trying to recapture. Being serious for a moment, did you know masturbating flushes the prostate gland of stale semen (think about that astounding fact for a second, could fresh semen give you prettier more intelligent babies?
Men have to Wank daily, how else do they rid themselves of aging tadpoles, hey? AND we’re knowledgably informed ‘unused’ ‘past the sell date cum’ could be linked to prostate cancer, not forgetting ‘playing’ is the safest form of sex, no STD’s. In women masturbation can help prevent cervical infections and urinary tract infections through the process of “tenting,” or the opening of the cervix that occurs as part of the arousal process. (Googled)
So there you are, healthy for mind and good for the soul, and doesn’t send you blind 😀 . Here’s a tale, I once knew a lady who said when she was a small girl, her mother would smell her fingers and ‘tap’ the back of her hand. True, no violence or malice, just disapproving AND that lady wasn’t scarred for life, she thought it very funny.
Improved Health and Mental wellbeing, safe sex and pleasurable, seriously why do certain Christian Preachers teach children masturbation is wrong? Madness!
Serious subject pleasuring oneself, there’s a whole Series there, NO.
ENOUGH!!! (I honestly hope I’ve never offended anyone)
Are you bored yet?
Enough silliness, but masturbation thoughts are most welcome!
You’ve twisted my arm, I’ll tell you a true tale. Quite a few years ago I was on holiday sitting on a sandy beach in the Greek Islands, staring out across the Mediterranean Sea, a low Autumn sun shining above the horizon and practically all by myself. Short story short, my Brother and I had words, he went for a scooter ride to cool off and I sat cross legged wondering what an earth I’d done wrong?
Siblings can be together for just so long.
Then all a sudden a young lady woke me from the day dream by throwing her towel on to the sand a few metres away, quite startled me in fact, and no word of a lie I glanced up and down the beach and I can still visualize now, the lady was on her own the beach was empty and this beautiful young blonde was rolling out her large towel a few metres from me……..WTF? She never said a word, never looked at me, didn’t seem aware I existed, invisible I was! Why so near me when the beach was empty?
(Remember I’m always honest, 🙂 )
At the time and all these years later all I can assume is this single young lady, late twenties, felt more comfortable sitting close to another tourist rather than on her own, and just enough distance to make plain we weren’t an item, safety in numbers have you will! That’s the best I can come up with she wasn’t picking me up, she fancied a day on the beach but didn’t want to be all on her own. Any problem and I could have saved her. Seriously.
So she sits down on the towel also looking out to sea, rummages through her bag, takes out a bottle of suntan lotion, places it beside her then starts to undress! Frigging incredible! And still she doesn’t glance my direction or utter a word, so strange. Cotton dress unbuttoned, that’s tossed away and unbelievably sat only metres away is a slim beautiful twenty something blonde lady wearing a skimpy two piece red bikini! Then she begins to smooth suntan lotion onto her arms and legs.
Ten minutes ago I’m having an argument with my brother, five minutes ago I’m daydreaming looking out to sea, NOW this bikini clad lady lies back on her bath towel, closes her eyes, and there we both are two strangers on an empty beach, silent still and enjoying the warm late autumn sun!
Note these are the days before iPhones mp3 and earbuds, with nothing to occupy her mind I guess she lay day dreaming and my dick became hard and long, my heart was racing my breath quickening, and you’ve guessed I was excited. Amazing how one loses inhibitions when aroused, you take risks, brain chemicals and sex drive blur sane judgement. So what did you do next Andrew? I did what every sexually excited male would do, I silently drew my knees forward grabbed a towel to cover my waist and thighs then as quiet as I could wiggled my bottom and pull my shorts and pants down.
And all the while she lay serenely relaxed eyes closed, not a care in the world, oblivious to this panting English Tourist sat metres away one hand under towel, holding his dick masturbating himself IMPORTANTLY all the while staring at her gorgeous near naked body,only red bra and briefs for modesty.
Still to this day I close my eyes and see this gorgeous young blonde babe as if by photograph, all I can think now is surely I can’t have been THAT silent! You know breathless gulping and panting, well after a minute or so, yep that quick I came hard onto the sand between my legs, surely she heard me climax? Nope at no point did she turn and look or open her eyes, 😀 what if she had, clocked a tourist knocking one off staring at her breasts…………….could have been an interesting scene if my brother had come back.
I was spent and satisfied but can’t for the life remember what happened next, not a clue, I’d guess she went her way and I went mine, ok not a riveting story but unusual. Note I do realise these days a wanking man would be arrested and get 5 years for gross indecency, quite right to, doing disgusting acts like that in full view of watching women is sexual assault, and knowingly sadistic! Yes. BUT I still consider ‘mine’ was all very innocent (first and last), if she’d looked she may have guessed and at worst she’d have kicked sand in my face! 😀
So have you ever masturbated outdoors? (As if anyone would answer 😀 )
Facebook Twitter Instagram and your WordPress
Quickly returning to Social Media, first off for no apparent reason I’d like to make clear I’m NOT on FB and don’t do Twitter! At my age you must be joking, never have and never will, truthfully speaking I can’t help musing there’s something a little creepy about grown men having a facebook account, boys yes, men no, there you are just an opinion. Don’t get me wrong social media is a great idea but the revolution’s passed me by…….mind you Twitter’s good if you’re famous, start a petition to get Stephen Fry back I say, my sister in law is on FB, helps her unwind of an evening after the kids go to bed.
Oh yes where was I, thoughts of social media. For several weeks now I’ve become increasingly aware the majority of bloggers I Follow link their WordPress to Instagram Facebook and Twitter accounts and this has me asking myself why do I have a WordPress? The lack of social interaction here does make me unhappy. I need to get out more, I’m a stranger to you 🙂 I need a lay!
Don’t judge me yet, I’m so pleased when ladies reply and say Hi when I comment, an erotic poetess says my comments always make her smile, she says I have a funny turn of phrase and it’s such a pleasure others appreciate my honesty. One woman even wrote me a profile for an internet dating website, lots of encouragement and tips, she said stay clear of bs and you’ll do well, but 😦 of course I never did…………… she’d have been disappointed after doing all that for me. Oh well.
So Bloggers post then Tweet their friends with the link. Common sense! A true community of friends interacting, would be nice but no that’s for the ‘kids’ and mums/moms……… like I said I don’t, I publish and well I’m depressing myself now 😦
So are there any conclusions to be made here, no, lol you decide and please don’t ever take my posts tooo seriously, people seem to Like me
I’m WELL aware I sound ungrateful 😦 , I’m NOT , NO, I’ve met so many wonderful people from across the Globe and yes some have become ‘internet friends’, (strangers still) and who recognise my rather unusual truthful honest way of expressing myself, and I’m extremely pleased to have yes lol interacted with you and your blog writing 🙂 I hope no ones been offended by my silly little Posts or my honest comments.
Incidentally my stats say someone in China has been viewing my blog 🙂 I’m so curious which post they looked at? Housing estate Walnut Tree? Autumn Leaves photo? Downton Abbey? My balls in briefs? Oxford’s ‘Gropecunt Lane? My mum’s collie?
I’ll still Follow.
That’s enough now, amazing where a couple of hours and a meandering stream of consciousness takes me.
© Andrew 🙂 ❤
(I have to admit I’m not entirely happy with this Mrs May post, uploaded last night, and but for the comments I would have removed, a little tooo jolly but it stays. The only point I’m trying to get across is our PM could be a useful bridge to the world oh and introduce Theresa if you’ve never heard of her 🙂 )
I never usually blog Politics and I’m NOT going to repeat here what you can go read on the internet about Mrs May, after all I pale into significance compared with the professionals, so go Google British Newspapers! 🙂 But I’m at a loose end and I Follow several American political bloggers so why not post one of my own.
Sunday is nearly over and I thought I’d show a few pictures of our Theresa since she’s in the American News 😀 . AND thankfully yes a chemistry existed between her and Trump but don’t worry Theresa was just playing politics, being nice and all, she’ll never be his lap pussy and note could be good counsel when he’s off Twitter.
Mrs May is a shrewd bright no nonsense talking daughter of a clergyman with sound moral judgement, so please give her a break Britain’s Press hopefully she’ll be a brake on Trump lunacy, they liked each other so calm down!
Unlike Trump, May is University educated having studied at St. John’s College, Oxford (which incidentally I walk past everyday on the way to work) and as you’ll guess I’m a big fan of our new PM she’s a breath of fresh air after that wanker showman David Cameron (BREXIT is his fault alone c##t) and never forget Theresa spent six years as Home Secretary coping with weekly (daily) minefields of riots, prison breakouts, police shootings of black teenagers………and yes the Police Federation so good at standing in the way of countless Home Secretaries over the years, they deserved a telling off!……..just watch this, Theresa as she reads Police the riot act.
AND I do like this very telling photograph below (1000 words and all that!), Trump’s re-telling an anecdote, cracking a joke and she’s well just letting it pass. (BTW I’m NOT anti American I loved Obama such a graceful intelligent man.
A few pictures, hasn’t she a great sense of style. (I wouldn’t say no!)
I think she’s fab! 😀
(All very tongue in cheek)
© Andrew 🙂
(Even before the sad death of Mary Tyler Moore I was going to write this post.)
Movie: Ordinary People. 8/10 IMDb 93% Rotten Tomatoes (pretty good ratings 🙂 )
Director: (the) Robert Redford.
Mother and son, Beth and Conrad
This isn’t a movie revue as such, call this personal observations ‘blank’, I nearly set private but this is wordpress, a place where you can say as you wish so all’s well. Some will disagree with my mental health tag, 🙂 but no matter.
I’m bored watching footie tonight hence this began a lengthy reply WHICH later became a post and no I haven’t seen or read Girl Interrupted but I’m going to Google and find out more straight after this, 🙂 I have a good feeling.
Blank, I was secretly rather hoping you hadn’t watched ‘Ordinary People’ so I could write 😀 , remember how I previously said sad films are a magnate to unhappy people well this film fits into that catagory perfectly, basically it’s perfecr for (blank) lol, not that I’m hinting but you get the gist!!! Briefly in this family drama there’s a hospitalised failed suicide attempt, a suicide which triggers a vulnerable young man who but for his amazing therapist would have perhaps did (omitted spoiler)……… but hold on ‘OP‘ is full of positives and certainly not a movie that’ll upset and like all great movies is based on an original novel by Judith Guest.
Difficult themes yet rewarding.
You’re possibly tooo young to have heard of Mary Tyler Moore and to answer your question her character Beth is BPD in some traits but as I said the death of her son brought a type of psychosis to the fore, some readers may disagree, whichever, grief bound she’s in need of therapy WHICH the film suggests would could have helped! Either way Beth is mentally unstable, on the cusp of a nervous breakdown and emotionally repressed but her only sin is trying to keep her ‘sh#t together’…….. sound familiar? Like all of Us!
Berger (Therapist) and Conrad
Basically this could be a movie right up our Streets so to speak! Only joking, well me anyway, but seriously I have a guess the sessions between Beth’s son Conrad and his therapist appeal because Berger manages to help Conrad understand why he feels so guilty for his part in his brother’s tragic death several years earlier.
Recommending a movie to someone is deeply problematic because for so many reasons favourites are personal to oneself, I have no idea as to your tastes but you being younger than I……..I’d guess…….. well I’m not going to sumise for fear of making a fool of myself. Yes ‘OP’ is a little dated now but I would say give it a go, the tale although harrowing is intelligent, difficult but at the same time rewarding. Spoiler alert, thankfully no sex!
And Elizabeth is adorable as the sweet girlfriend and important to Conrad’s story.
© Andrew 🙂
One of my top ten favourite movies, makes me cry and that’s no easy feat.
Mary Tyler Moore died this week, now I’m not old enough to remember her portrayal of all American moms in 1960s television sitcoms but I do know her characters were usually amusing lovable housewives, ‘cute cookies’ have you will and always exuding a strong sexy appeal to satisfy the dads watching, you just knew her characters could cook delicious meals and be a filthy sex goddess in the bedroom, in the nicest possible way 🙂
Then in 1981 Mary surprised the viewing public by playing the character of Beth in Robert Redford’s ‘Ordinary People’ (a family drama which I may write about). The film was awarded 4 Oscars that year but shamefully Mary didn’t win, OK shamefully is a little ott but anyone who’s seen ‘Ordinary People’ will tell you she stole the movie with a magnificent character performance.
Remember I titled my post Strung tighter than a fiddlers bow? Well if you’ve seen ‘Ordinary People’ you’ll know I’m referring to Beth a berieved mentally unstable mother on the verge of a nervous breakdown. At the time Mary’s good clean wholesome image was chalk and cheese to Beth’s various personality disorders, I guess the measure of Mary as an actress is that she gave a masterful performance of two women who couldn’t be more dissimilar, hence most people of the time were of the opinion Mary was robbed of her Oscar………. without googling I wonder who one best supporting actress that year?
I recommend you watch, and by the way I saw this years ‘La La Land’, what an earth is with all the hype and awards? I hated it! 😀
© Andrew 🙂
It’s late evening in the UK and I’m sooon off to bed so this’ll be a quick post, my hot water bottle’s been there half an hour already hmm can’t help thinking a woman would be nicer. God I must be getting old talking of hot water bottles!
Read the Title you’ll see I’ve written ‘my week’, all very ambiguous I know, what I really mean to say is I’d love to write and upload more during the week but I work Longgggg hours (ahhh) also endure tedious bus rides in slow moving Oxford City traffic and by the time I get home, make tea, wash up, read some blog posts, perhaps masturbate! By the time all that’s done I’m worn out!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m blessed and grateful to be in regular paid work.
Then it’s up to bed and ridiculously I repeat the same routine next day and the next! Madness lol, if a Martian landed on earth and witnessed the ridiculous things humans get up to he’d jump back in his spaceship and clear off home, (I know a lame lame anecdote but it’s late.)
Long and short, I’d like to post more, but there doesn’t seem to be the time.
Now to YouTube.
I also referred to YouTube in the post Title. Those of you who’ve read the odd post of mine will know time to time I include a YouTube video, btw I know of another blogger who does the same. Now I’m not someone to give advice but YouTube is a very useful media tool and ISN’T only for wasting one’s life watching people do stupid things!
Here’s a fact for you, my videos get zero views, yes you read correctly lol absolutely no one watches my videos and that’s the way I like it, however my Channel has more productive positives uses, I use it to show videos on my blog, whether the How To Bake A Cake Series, Gropecunt Lane, Photos from around my Town, Local Countryside, YouTube seems to accompany WordPress beautifully.
So lol my advice (and this is the first and only occasion I’ll offer advice, after all I’m in no position). Perhaps begin a YouTube Channel of your own and for your viewing only. Sign up, get a Channel then walk away and completely forget about it. Yep you read right don’t even go back there until the day you’ve filmed a short video on your camera, then upload onto your Channel and post the video link onto your blog (If you want to, goes without saying!!!) Easy as! Then forget about the Channel again and be happy no one watches except via your blog or videos for the family.
Useful tip? Not for everyone after all most of bloggers are writers, but making videos via your camera can be fun.
You now have your own YouTube to be used how it was originally intended and designed to be used. Note. Remember you cannot upload video straight onto WP unless you pay. And I’m not going to pay for a domain!
Anyways here’s another one of my videos, a while ago I filmed (mpeg off digital camera) a whole Series instructing the viewer how to make a toy garage for model cars out of wood. Incidentally the garage in the video I gave to my young nephews for Christmas, aren’t I a great Uncle 😀
© Andrew 🙂
(To begin with thank you to those who newly Followed my blog after reading yesterday evening’s post, your likes are really appreciated 🙂 and consequently I am now Following two new blogs but for personal reasons I’d like to say little more except to say I loved reading the ‘Friendships & Loneliness’ post last night before bed, thank you. I should warn you new Followers my WordPress has no one specific theme, in fact sometimes I feel out of my depth here compared to some of the Fabulous blogs I Follow and read with a passion, a very productive lunch hour at work I can tell you but don’t expect tooo much from me please, I’m very honest and true to myself consequently they’re not to every ones taste 😀 Yesterday evening wasn’t a happy place for me as you may have read last night, I shouldn’t apologise should I, but writing helped and I guess I’ve given you all a great Movie recommendation, beats the run of the mill Movie Revues.)
Hester thank you for such an interesting and intriguing comment to that post, yes our connection though tenuous lol was a neat touch point! (More ways than one though, my Great Grandfather having fought Dutch Boers in the 1898-1902 Boer War!!!)
Enough of War 🙂
Three photographs for you Hester. Having completed my first year as a newly apprenticed Toolmaker here are a selection of the tools I made throughout that year and every item crafted by my very own hands, everything on the table made by me and I’m rather proud of every item even if I say it myself, and why not lol I’m not that skilled at anything else! Incidentally I still use many of them today at my present place of work.
Below I’ve included a second set of photographs taken of the Factory I was apprenticed to and a Company I’m truly grateful to, they paid me a living wage and taught me a Skilled Trade, it’s only now all these years later that I realise I was a very lucky lad indeed! Incidentally the factory is no more, an American Company bought the then owners out and closed that old Plant several years later……….all those wonderful 1940’s buildings have disappeared flattened and in its place are luxury penthouse flats! I was going to swear but you’re a lady and what’s the point?
That wonderful factory employed hundreds of workers, kept a local communities shops and businesses alive, trained young men and women a skilled trade, helped UK’s balance of payments and manufactured armaments during the second world war. Yes they made war weapons from bomb and bullet casings through to casting hand grenades in the iron foundry. I’m afraid I’m very VERY bitter about the factory being closed, I’d moved on to the University by that point, but I still cried the day I wandered along the canal tow path only to witness those lovely buildings being demolished to rubble, such happy memories, such fabulous workmates.
A few more pictures of W Lucy & Co. Ltd. taken before closure.
That’s progress for you!
It’s funny when I write something I never have an idea how it’ll be taken, so thank you for the comment and a blog connection with someone residing in a far away Country, Africa no less, is fabulous. I used to worry with my previous blog after uploading but now I ‘publish’ and see what happens, I guess we’re all a little like that. Incidentally the company I used to be apprenticed to manufactured electrical substation switchgear and exported ring mains to South Africa. As you know I now work for a blank mainly associated with research groups also the odd day supervising lol pretty 18= females, hard life 😉 But seriously I did love my apprentice days, out of interest could you be a little more specific with at least one example of a manual you’ve written because I’m quite fascinated, or perhaps you’d rather not this being a public website.
© Andrew 🙂
Personal with adult themes. Not for everyone.
One of life’s unfathomable questions for you, think of a Movie! Then ask yourselves why do some people hate everything about that Movie yet others love the tale with a passion perhaps even rating it as their favourite of all time, or let’s say of that particular moment, interesting conundrum don’t you think? A Hollywood Producers Holy Grail.
Tonight being Saturday evening I had intended to walk the half mile into Town and watch ‘La La Land’ now playing at my local cinema, apparently this Movie is billed as a future classic, a throwback to musicals of an earlier era such as Singing In The Rain’, I was going to watch but ultimately didn’t!
Right now I’m tooo tired to summon up the words to honestly describe how dejected and sorry for myself I’m feeling, so as sometimes happens on my blog, a dictionary definition will suffice:
Anxiety – definition – ‘a feeling of worry, nervousness, apprehension, agitation foreboding, unease as regards something with an uncertain outcome’, life! Couldn’t have described the debilitating affects of AvPD any better.
There’s an American Statute named ‘Pursuit of Happiness’, such a strange phrase?
Lazy to cut and paste from Google I know (at least I’m honest), but I ask could you dream up a better answer describing how I feel all or most of the time? All I’ve ever wished in life is to have something my brother has remembering I haven’t an ounce of jealousy in my being, a wife would be nice, simple as, I’d love to have met a woman similar to Jayne, a wonderful mother, homemaker, who’s witty charming, she crafts and sows, is beautiful and going by the contents of her underwear draw I have a guess she’s spectacular in bed (don’t ask how I know long story)…………true love is a gift hookers can never give, ahh but do I visit hookers lol? Women make you happy don’t they? Or as one lady blogger once replied to me, ‘Andrew honey be careful what you wish for’.
Anyways this isn’t a post about escorts or my lovely sister-in-law! (Not a Saint mind lol, no one’s that perfect, the lady can be moody………..and if she ever reads this remember you’re in my Will honey.)
Returning to earlier this evening, I had something to eat, dressed myself in warm coat hat and scarf in preparation for tonight’s freezing temperatures, I stood in my hallway about to open my front door into a cold dark winter’s night then anxiety hit me and all anticipation of happy times disappeared, I asked myself ‘what really is the point going to watch a sweet happy Film on my own? ‘La La Land’ is a Movie for young lovers, retired couples, married parents who’ve left their little ones with a baby sitter all for a deserved relaxing evening out, why go?’………… why would a single middle aged guy feeling rather anxious melancholy and dejected really need to be amongst happy laughing people, endure such hellish tortuous solitude? So I didn’t bother. Anxiety as often does got the better of me tonight, a feeling of ‘what an earth is the f#cking point’ consumed my mind, and all cheerful spirit disappeared, and yes I was even a little tearful as I undressed myself, a panic attack? No. ………… I will watch ‘La La Land’ but some other day, perhaps next week after work in Oxford………….. Loneliness is a disease, solitude fuels depression, I give up, why convince myself I’m enjoying a Movie which has to be viewed sitting next to the person you love? A rhetorical question there is no answer.
All wasn’t lost though, I belong to Lovefilm, you know the ‘club’, you pay a subscription to Amazon and in return they’ll post two DVDs to your home, newly released Movies of your internet choosing to watch on your own, and just so happens one of my two selections was a French Film named ‘I’ve Loved You So Long’. A Movie touching on themes of suicide depression murder sadness and family heartache yet which possesses a wonderful uplifting ending, warms the coldest hearts 🙂 and in my opinion is a masterpiece of a Film, a real weepy so have a box of tissues ready to hand, you’ll NEVER suspect she actually did that!
So I curl up on my sofa with a glass of fresh apple juice, then after two hours of viewing this wonderful tale the Film ends, the credits role, and my brief moment of enjoyment leaves as quickly as it came and I’m left on my own again, a kiss and a cuddle would be nice lol. But as they say tomorrow will be a new day, happiness is a life choice, so I must try to make tomorrow a happy day.
Sad Films are a magnet for unhappy people
Don’t get me wrong though, as bad a movie review as tonight’s post suggests, ‘I’ve Loved You So Long’ is a true classic, intelligent, original with a tour de force performance from Kristen Scott Thomas and her all French cast. Please watch.
I know feeling sorry for oneself isn’t a pretty sight, quite childish actually 😦
© Andrew 🙂
You’ll be relieved there’s no pictures of my ‘bum’ tonight, I’m going to see ‘La La Land’, been so looking forward to watching that movie.
Yesterday evening I was very excited, I went to bed expecting snow only to open my bedroom curtains next morning and wouldn’t you believe it NOT one single snowflake had fallen last night, consequently I’m a little brassed off today all because the UK was promised plummeting temperatures accompanied by inches of deep white virgin snow (I exaggerate). So much so soldiers and military vehicles had been put on stand by (true), but no not one snowflake fell and I had my camera ready spare batteries charged! And I had this silly little blog all set to share photos of snow covered fields and white Cotswold stone Churches. But alas this morning I opened my bedroom curtains, gazed out the window only to be confronted by my same old boring suburban housing estate. Ahh well tis only mid January and it always snows on my birthday.
People have written they enjoy my photographic posts, so when Oxford gets snow whether you like it or not I guarantee they’ll be snow scenes galore!
I’m NOT going to write about blogging tonight because that’s boring, except to say I Follow many talented people here on WordPress, by talented I mean they can create with their hands, I love the blogs where people draw with pencil and paint on canvas so much so if they were for sale and I could afford to buy, I’d perhaps ask to purchase one from them.
Then I got to thinking ‘what about myself?’ in what ways am I Andrew creative? I cannot paint or write poetry and to be honest I wing it here as a blogger but people have liked which has been an absolute joy, so all’s good with the world only wish I was having sex at present.
No I’m happy to admit I’m possibly the least creative person alive but even if I say it myself I am reasonably good at making things with my hands and I’m not showing off! No I cannot paint but I am creative in another sense, ever since a very young man I’ve been employed as an engineering Toolmaker, don’t yawn lol I understand manufacturing things from metal isn’t most people’s idea of being creative but no matter because I’m going to tell you anyway! At age sixteen I served a four year apprenticeship living near penniless on very meagre wages, however I should not be disingenuous because the factory I was employed by taught me a trade which has served me well over the past X amount of years, and fingers crossed a trade which will see me earning into retirement because here in the UK we have a shortage of skilled labour…….so yes I am a very lucky man.
And I enjoy my job, I look forward to going to work of a morning, blessed I work alongside great colleagues and spend many glorious hours with highly intelligent University graduates all eager to learn and hopefully attain themselves a good degree which will serve them well in years to come. Yes I adore the fair sex but both boys and girls are a delight to work with, their eagerness and ambition is a joy to behold and infectious to jaded middle aged men, like all young people they have a huge appetite for life and a University Degree could should and will open any door they wish to open.
I’m not showing off neither conceited, my job can be boring but on the upside I do get to work with many lovely young ladies, sweet beautiful creatures with bubbly personalities who but for our Department I would never come into contact with in my personal life, and by god aren’t they ladies attractive (note over age 18), even better come summertime they’ll be wearing short skirts and tight tee shirts! Now hold on before you judge me, I’m a responsible gentleman both respectful and professional but there’s no harm admitting charming beautiful young women are a delight to tenuously be around and they know I’m a soft touch when asked for help, (no word of a lie women are ruthless when they want something lol), smile sweetly and I’ll do whatever she asks, play the little girl lol and she’ll have me wound round her little finger! I will admit once in a while I’ll have to visit the bathroom for a quick masturbate, but don’t all men ‘knock one off the wrist’ thinking about the women they work with?
Anyways enough of my wittering and before I get myself into trouble talking of legs and bras wanking and boobs (at least I’m honest we’re all the same, we all appreciate beauty), I’d better return to my working ability using my hands! I know most readers will find the following photographs very VERY boring but I’m going to upload anyway because I haven’t seen them in an age, and some of you will know I use my blog as a journal for old personal photographs saved from desk draws and albums under beds.
Briefly I’m a toolmaker by trade (I know who cares 😀 ), which basically means when given a block of metal also drawings and assorted machine tools then I can manufacture virtually anything you wish, and when you for example buy a plastic kettle, rather boringly some guy or girl in a factory will have made the tool which once had plastic poured into it!
Btw a kitchen Kettle was an example.
So here are a selection of photo’s taken of press tools made by my own hands……….not very creative and somewhat boring I know but I am rather proud of them…….. call this a post for me 🙂
Four photos of an engineering Press Tool used for producing sheet steel components.
This heart warming story brightened up my day and I had to reblog.
I know I know… It has been ages since I even had a look at wordpress though I have a good excuse 🙂 hehe. Have any of you ever heard of swimmer syndrome in puppies? I honestly have never!! My dog recently had a litter of 9 and I thought everything was going perfectly and smoothly however, a month down the line, the runt of the litter still could not walk. You would hear him crying all night trying to move 1 foot in order to feed. I literally had a baby of my own! Waking up 5-10 times in the night to help this poor pup! I put it down to he’s the runt! He is weak, frail and just needs a little push.
A week later, I noticed that he was dragging himself across the ground. Legs spread out on either side like this:
It looks painful right?…
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