How time fly’s by, a few weeks ago I posted Andrew plays with himself featuring my new Amazon purchased Fidget Pad (with video), and now it’s nearing end of June already!
But not to worry here’s Part 2 and btw I’ve written something else which I’ll publish in a few days time (now in draft). Short story, I visited London last week and have a tale to tell.
A disclaimer, if you’ve read my blog before you may be relieved to know the day wasn’t about getting laid, I did have a casual liaison early June mind but that’s a whole different story! Ever heard the saying ‘there’s a first time for everything’, well when she took her bra off my eyes were drawn to two thin red lines beneath her breasts, she’d had implants hadn’t she, first time I’ve ever squeezed falsies!
My verdict? Silicone is rather tooo firm for my liking, ok I guess but in my opinion natural is always best, as an aside why do women feel they have to go under the surgeons knife especially when sagging empty boobs are just as lovely ❤
Back to this damn Fidget Pad 😀
This’ll be a short post because I’m in two minds as to whether this over-hyped product is worth the expense, Fidgets pass the time, but my advice is if you’re gonna buy a Pad or Cube keep in mind you could get just as much fidgeting enjoyment from playing with a clothes peg…………you know the one with the metal spring.
I’m perhaps being a little disingenuous, these toys are very tactile and I do find myself fiddling with the buttons switches and rotating toggles whilst doing other things such as watching YouTube videos. But as for all those bold medical claims, I’m totally unqualified to say if Fidget Toys are a comfort to those with ADHD or Autism, I do hope so and wouldn’t it be interesting to hear what parents or medical experts have to say rather than just corporate Amazon.
I have to admit I was in two minds whether to write something after London’s Terror Attack, so much has already been broadcast and written about but then I came across this photograph of 2 year old Ameer Hussein laying flowers close to the scene. London Manchester and Britain must heal divisions after these horrendous attacks or there’s no hope is there? We have to remember Britain is a multicultural society, perhaps redress the balance with imagery, fewer pictures of Counter Terrorism Police and more photos reminding us that in order to move on Faiths have to learn to live together or at least coexist peacefully.
(Call this Part 1. I just filmed the video AND thought why not make a start 🙂 )
Question. Do you have something you play with when you’re bored?
Of course the answer’s “YES!”
Only trouble is, it’s not socially acceptable to play with one’s genitals whilst sitting in the dentists waiting room is it? 😀 So we’re talking “phew” toys!
(Mind you I have an ‘on-the-bus’ story I may share one day 😉 )
Ok if you watched MY YouTube video first you’ll have deduced I’m NOT talking tales of pleasure, read my Posts and you’ll know I’m rather obsessed with that, no watch the video and you’ll know I’m referring tooo…….
…..and unless you’ve been living under a stone you’ll know ‘Fidget Stress Toys’ are products designed by an American non profit Organisation for those suffering from anxiety or ADHD, or just as important to Play with!
Shows how long I’ve been away from WordPress, a lady I used to Follow I’ll refer to as P is now a married woman! Yep 3 months ago she was a blogging single mum of five children then yesterday evening I read her most recent Post and she’s sharing photographs of her new wedding, lovely pictures of a happy smiling couple holding hands exchanging wedding rings and she’s dressed in virgin white which would make her smile if she read this. Of course I wrote a sincere comment congratulating her and wishing them both well, truly I’m so pleased because she used to be such an unhappy blogger and seeing her visibly in love really brightened up my day.
Just shows life is too short to be wasting time feeling sorry for yourself (Andrew), you may have guessed the saying ‘seize the day’ came to mind, Wow! lady P is now married, who’d have thought!
A different blogger I still read time to time, a wise middle aged lady named S once wrote something I’ve never forgotten, you know one of those memorable life quotes that stick in the mind probably because they personally resonate, usually applicable to oneself. In fact the quote has resided in one of my Draft Posts for six months. Perhaps I thought one day I’ll write about lady S’s thoughts, well you guessed looking at P’s wedding pictures yesterday brought her saying back to mind. Shall I share? Remember I’ve never forgotten:
A friend ………becomes a lover……..becomes a wife
Such a crystal clear incisive piece of writing don’t you think? Read again and the sentiment therein appears so logical, love’s Holy Grail, the secret to a long lasting blissful happiness and perhaps she conjures images in your own mind, people you’ve known throughout your life, opportunities relationships you may have missed out on ….or ACTED upon 🙂 .
Read a second time and you’ll perhaps agree this lady’s blogged message cannot be transposed in order to work, let me explain. Let us say two lovers become matrimonial husband and wife, HOWEVER imagine they were not friends to begin with, will their relationship last?
Transpose again. First keep in mind sex is a bonding mechanism throughout nature between two mammals. Now our two friends have become husband and wife however they were virgins before marriage and didn’t have sex thereafter, happens! Even though a deep friendship made for a happy marriage would could it fail because of the absence of sexual fulfilment? Especially if one more than the other desperately needed intimacy? Perhaps failure is the wrong word and unhappy marriage is nearer the truth?
…… 😀 by now you’ll have worked out my final math life conundrum. If two friends become lovers however their lustful consummation didn’t blossom into marriage, if two sexually attracted friends (note could be same sex) met only for fabulous f*cking, with no thoughts of marriage, no long term commitment, again would the relationship ever last? Probably not, a relationship based purely on sex seems shallow loveless and bereft of happiness.
So lol do you now understand my preoccupation with an order that cannot be broken transposed? For a relationship to work, ‘a friend becomes a lover becomes a marriage’, is a path you must follow and theoretically the answer is you discovered your soulmate.
Back to Lady’s S’s shared wisdom.
Am I wrong here? Can you understand why I’ve never forgotten this lady’s prophetic words? Ok her reply to my long forgotten comment is a simplistic phrase taken from romantic paperback fiction but I think she’s correct and I’ll never be convinced otherwise.
I’m SO curious? What did I write warranting her reply?
So I hear you ask what has a YouTube video of a young lady playing Amelie on piano got to do with all my nonsense? Nothing 😀 except I’ll tell you I’ve been making a nuisance of myself around YouTube, I have my own little Channel don’t you know.
Well short story I follow a lady pianist because she’s both beautiful and I adore listening to her play people’s requests, and because La Valse d’Amelie is a favourite of mine and the talented lady asks for requests, I suggested this tune and she played it for me……..well I like to imagine just for me either way her piano playing video was at my suggestion plus I’m a sucker for a gorgeous face.
Alyssa just to back up the comment I left on your YouTube Vlog 🙂 here’s a brief quick message. Short story, I stopped ‘blogging’ (loosest sense of the word) because I guess I well ran out of ideas, then I didn’t write for a few days, which became a week, which became a month, three!………………. and before you know it I’d finished………..shame really 😦
(This Blog Andrew was well received as in likes and comments which was nice and my Posts are supremely honest, much like your Vlog, however I’m not to be over-thought about, more airport paperback than word weighty literature……no heavy topics just hopefully Posts that amuse and interest).
…………..and a blog Post.
Here’s a thing, perhaps I will write something today, like at present I’m signed off six weeks from work because I tripped walking across Market Square, hit my head on the pavement and fractured my cheek bone in four places!!! One fracture depressed as well. But I’ll survive 🙂
Then I was driven by ambulance to Oxford’s A and E Hospital where I spent 10hours being X-rayed, cut stitched and importantly observed because I’d suffered a blow to the head I say 10hours, but that’s ok I’m NOT complaining, our National Health Service is a wonderful British Institution, where if required you can visit and see skilled Doctors and Surgeon’s, who’ll assesse and treat you and the care is absolutely free. But I’m afraid the 10hours waiting time is synonymous with an overstretched underfunded health service but again that’s ok I’m happy to wait my turn 🙂
Incidentally for all you morons who voted for BREXIT, our Health Service workers namely cleaners Doctors Nurses Surgeons are employed from right across the globe……every Country under the sun…….shame on you for voting out.
That’s enough Politics 🙂
On the bright side, there I was sitting on a bed with curtains pulled around and every fifteen minutes a nurse would ‘pop-in’ lol to check I was compos mentis and still in the land of the living……….jury’s out on whether I was interesting to speak to but seriously they were lovely and all under age 25? What about that then! I ain’t no perv btw.
And I forgot to tell you all three ambulance Paramedics were ladies and one of them looked like she could have been a supermodel, tall slim beautiful hair tied in a bun, but seriously all caring humane professional delightful young women………and very amusing which I guess helps relax injured patients.
Oxford Radliffe Hospitals NHS Trust (John Radcliffe Building) Taken from Google maps street view.
Photo’s of Oxford’s wonderful ‘John Radcliffe Hospital’
Joking apart the experience wasn’t fun, fracturing cheek bones ISN’T funny it’s f*cking painful and incidentally the first bones I’ve broken in my whole life, not to be advised either because whatever the writing on the packet says pain killing tablets don’t work!
Forgot to say I need dental work as well! All due to the fact I hit my head so hard a filling shot out! Sounds expensive.
Moving forward two days I attended the John Radcliffe Hospital again as an Outpatient at their ‘Oral Reconstruction Fracture Clinic’ where, huge sigh of relief, I was told by a lovely male Swiss Doctor I wouldn’t require Surgery………. God that was great News because a friend of my mums’ went into the same Hospital for Spinal Surgery and came out infected by an MRSA Hospital Superbug.
You see Great Britain’s operating theatres are gripped by these f*****g drug resistant superbugs and the world’s running out of antibiotics, it’s scary to think there’s only two drugs left which work…………hope to God more are developed……Companies are working on it!
Btw I’m not being flippant, the fact we’re running out of antibiotics that work could pose…..well you get the idea. China feeding them to livestock doesn’t help!
One photo the Swiss Doctor did show me on his computer monitor was the X-ray of my skull, the one taken at my visit to A and E, at one point in the consultation he looked at me with a smile and said,
“Pretty cool don’t you think?”
“YES :)” I replied gleefully, just Google they’re well impressive 😮
And yes IT was!!! Only wish I could have a j-peg copy as souvenir but I didn’t ask, these busy specialists have more important things to worry about than blogs lol………..still my skull’s four white fracture lines were quite impressive……………..LOL shows how ill I am!!!
So that’s enough writing for today, sun’s out and I’m going back out into my garden with glass of chilled apple juice to hand and sit in my ‘blue and white’ stripy deck chair enjoying the sun’s warmth on my face, I love that……..seriously though I think I’ve been a lucky boy, my head injury could have been a lot LOT worse 😦
Omg it’s only started raining!!!! (and btw that’s not poetic license, it has!)
Finally I’ve been able to link the Trailer video hence the reblog.
If you’re unaware ‘T2 Trainspotting’ was released in cinemas on Sunday, then you’ll not be a fan of the original 1996 ‘Trainspotting’ which was of course a movie and nothing to do with trains!
Love the first and you’ll love T2
Btw I work half days On Fridays and watched the film at Oxford’s Odeon this afternoon, a few hours ago!
This isn’t a Movie Review just a brief message to say if you enjoyed the film in 1996 you’ll not be disappointed so GO SEE AT THE CINEMA for the true movie experience, it’ll not be the same film on ‘Netflix’! And if you live outside the UK I urge you to watch, this is a time capsule showing the real UK as it looks in 2017.
I’ve had a great deal of trouble trying to show also link the YouTube official Trailer video here on my blog but cannot? 🙂 However the video exists so go to YouTube to watch, then read a couple of movie reviews and if you enjoy fun escapism then go and see T2…….. at the Cinema 🙂
However if you’ve no idea as to what all the fuss is about and you’ve heard there is bad language(c#nt word), one or two sex scenes, male nudity (also a very sexy Bulgarian lady’s tits), drug taking and violence (fights no blood)…..there is! BUT note being a ‘Danny Boyle’ movie none of the above adult material is gratuitous and the film is as described………’A Dark Comedy’, the sex and violence will make you laugh rather than be disgusted, so if you love the 1996 0riginal then you’ll know what to expect.
T2 Trainspotting is rated 18+
On a personal note the graphic drug taking scenes in ‘Trainspotting’ did at the time and still do make me feel rather uncomfortable, does the movie trivialise and glorify drug abuse? Hmm isn’t supposed to be! Anyways I’m giving no spoilers, the pros of filming drug taking still makes me nervous.
No matter I trust Director ‘Danny Boyle’s’ judgement 🙂
Film reviews are extremely personal to the writer, therefore recommendations are fraught with problems. For example I hate ‘Rambo’ because I’m lonely and depressed therefore I love happy endings where the main characters are hugging and kissing and crying and living happily ever after.
You pays your money and makes your choice 😀
T2 btw isn’t a romcom.
I’ll finish now and leave you with one thought, if you loved the first you’ll love T2 if only to compare what 20 years of aging does to the human body, there’s a depressing thought! 20 years IS the special effect!
(Thank you to the 4 ladies for commenting yesterday 🙂 However I decided to delete the/your replies basically because I wouldn’t want someone to read this ‘amusing post’ with very adult themes then forward to your blog, the internet being the internet and all that, my choice, perhaps you have second thoughts also? Like I said your comments were 🙂 appreciated (very) and useful as regards twitterand facebook and Instagram…….. anyways you get the idea. If a post is good enough (haha whatever that means), entertaining enough then people will like, the post was just for fun anyway. TY
😮 🙂 😀 😦 😉 (awesome for a sex blogger) 😛 XD 😡 😕 😳 🙄 😎 ❤
Btw aren’t Emojis the best invention EVER! Seriously, they’re awesome add one yellow smilie to a sentence and it sets your emotions alight, and the iPhone Emojis are even MORE FABULOUS!!! Did you know they’re the product of texting in olden days when a phone message had so few characters users resorted to LMAO LMFAO……….
But I hate LOL, why? Is anyone actually Laughing Out Loud? My niece say lol within a spoken sentence, strange but adorable. Andrew)
I’m always curious as to why a blog falls silent, not because I’m nosey I’m just curious, have they gone ghost or finished forever? Especially interested if I’ve enjoyed Following. I’ve been on WP 2 years now, 2 years is a long time but I do lack inspiration which is fine, perhaps I ask to much of a simple free website? (I do) I may take a break. Anyways thank you for each view like and comment, you made me so happy.
If you didn’t consider my ‘writing‘ varied eclectic and haphazardly ‘all over the place’ before this Post then you haven’t read this one yet.
A blogging observation which really did catch me unawares, an age thing, and I’m surprised it’s taken SO long for the ‘penny to drop’ when WordPress gives us the sharing tools …………. yes I speak of clicking those tiny icons which send you to Twitter and Facebook! Duh so obvious.
‘WordPress is pants as regards social interaction (if you’re not very good), you have to be on Twitter!’
I didn’t write that btw, they’re not my words, whoever did goes top of the class and at the same time proving I’m slow on the pick up, social media adds an extra dimension to WP.
If I decide to take a break I’ll continue to scroll my Reader, my imagination requires it’s daily fix of amusement and intellectual stimulation to ever walk away, I watch little TV the internet is far more fun. Here’s a thought, whoever coined the phrase ‘self abuse’ as an alternative description and deranged idea masturbating is bad for you? Must have been those two faced Victorians who’s values Margaret Thatcher said we should return back to. B#ll sh#t what values? The ones that branded Charles Dickens a criminal, placed him in debtors prison just because he found himself on hard times, thank God for a Welfare State.
Time for adult themes, (there has to be with me, some like and they’re fun to make), as always if at least one person enjoys then I’m truly happy 🙂 )
Def masturbation– Stimulation of the genitals with the hand for sexual pleasure
“There are two kinds of people in the world, those who masturbate and those who lie!”
Wanking! An unusual habit all those tingly sensations and waves of pleasure, I’m immature lol, playing with oneself does fascinate me, always has done, all aspects and God knows why it’s scorned upon? There’s loads of medical benefits and more.
I read that ‘2 kinds of….’ gem in a borrowed copy of GQ Magazine and for some reason it’s one of those useless pieces of information that attaches itself to a brain synapse or whatever and will never shift or disappear………… I probably have all my neurological brain biology mixed up but you get the idea.
Humour me, sex amuses the child in me.
Like I said I won’t write a Post, yes playing with oneself is incredibly pleasurable but more importantly clinicians and psychiatrists say masturbation is good for ones general health and mental well being, that idea fascinates me, you know all those pleasure giving chemicals serotonin and dopamine being released from the brain making me high, so powerful they produce orgasmic sensations men spend the rest of their lives trying to recapture. Being serious for a moment, did you know masturbating flushes the prostate gland of stale semen (think about that astounding fact for a second, could fresh semen give you prettier more intelligent babies?
Men have to Wank daily, how else do they rid themselves of aging tadpoles, hey? AND we’re knowledgably informed ‘unused’ ‘past the sell date cum’ could be linked to prostate cancer, not forgetting ‘playing’ is the safest form of sex, no STD’s. In women masturbation can help prevent cervical infections and urinary tract infections through the process of “tenting,” or the opening of the cervix that occurs as part of the arousal process. (Googled)
So there you are, healthy for mind and good for the soul, and doesn’t send you blind 😀 . Here’s a tale, I once knew a lady who said when she was a small girl, her mother would smell her fingers and ‘tap’ the back of her hand. True, no violence or malice, just disapproving AND that lady wasn’t scarred for life, she thought it very funny.
Improved Health and Mental wellbeing, safe sex and pleasurable, seriously why do certain Christian Preachers teach children masturbation is wrong? Madness!
Serious subject pleasuring oneself, there’s a whole Series there, NO.
ENOUGH!!! (I honestly hope I’ve never offended anyone)
Are you bored yet?
Enough silliness, but masturbation thoughts are most welcome!
You’ve twisted my arm, I’ll tell you a true tale. Quite a few years ago I was on holiday sitting on a sandy beach in the Greek Islands, staring out across the Mediterranean Sea, a low Autumn sun shining above the horizon and practically all by myself. Short story short, my Brother and I had words, he went for a scooter ride to cool off and I sat cross legged wondering what an earth I’d done wrong?
Siblings can be together for just so long.
Then all a sudden a young lady woke me from the day dream by throwing her towel on to the sand a few metres away, quite startled me in fact, and no word of a lie I glanced up and down the beach and I can still visualize now, the lady was on her own the beach was empty and this beautiful young blonde was rolling out her large towel a few metres from me……..WTF? She never said a word, never looked at me, didn’t seem aware I existed, invisible I was! Why so near me when the beach was empty?
(Remember I’m always honest, 🙂 )
At the time and all these years later all I can assume is this single young lady, late twenties, felt more comfortable sitting close to another tourist rather than on her own, and just enough distance to make plain we weren’t an item, safety in numbers have you will! That’s the best I can come up with she wasn’t picking me up, she fancied a day on the beach but didn’t want to be all on her own. Any problem and I could have saved her. Seriously.
So she sits down on the towel also looking out to sea, rummages through her bag, takes out a bottle of suntan lotion, places it beside her then starts to undress! Frigging incredible! And still she doesn’t glance my direction or utter a word, so strange. Cotton dress unbuttoned, that’s tossed away and unbelievably sat only metres away is a slim beautiful twenty something blonde lady wearing a skimpy two piece red bikini! Then she begins to smooth suntan lotion onto her arms and legs.
Ten minutes ago I’m having an argument with my brother, five minutes ago I’m daydreaming looking out to sea, NOW this bikini clad lady lies back on her bath towel, closes her eyes, and there we both are two strangers on an empty beach, silent still and enjoying the warm late autumn sun!
Note these are the days before iPhones mp3 and earbuds, with nothing to occupy her mind I guess she lay day dreaming and my dick became hard and long, my heart was racing my breath quickening, and you’ve guessed I was excited. Amazing how one loses inhibitions when aroused, you take risks, brain chemicals and sex drive blur sane judgement. So what did you do next Andrew? I did what every sexually excited male would do, I silently drew my knees forward grabbed a towel to cover my waist and thighs then as quiet as I could wiggled my bottom and pull my shorts and pants down.
And all the while she lay serenely relaxed eyes closed, not a care in the world, oblivious to this panting English Tourist sat metres away one hand under towel, holding his dick masturbating himself IMPORTANTLY all the while staring at her gorgeous near naked body,only red bra and briefs for modesty.
Still to this day I close my eyes and see this gorgeous young blonde babe as if by photograph, all I can think now is surely I can’t have been THAT silent! You know breathless gulping and panting, well after a minute or so, yep that quick I came hard onto the sand between my legs, surely she heard me climax? Nope at no point did she turn and look or open her eyes, 😀 what if she had, clocked a tourist knocking one off staring at her breasts…………….could have been an interesting scene if my brother had come back.
I was spent and satisfied but can’t for the life remember what happened next, not a clue, I’d guess she went her way and I went mine, ok not a riveting story but unusual. Note I do realise these days a wanking man would be arrested and get 5 years for gross indecency, quite right to, doing disgusting acts like that in full view of watching women is sexual assault, and knowingly sadistic! Yes. BUT I still consider ‘mine’ was all very innocent (first and last), if she’d looked she may have guessed and at worst she’d have kicked sand in my face! 😀
So have you ever masturbated outdoors? (As if anyone would answer 😀 )
Facebook Twitter Instagram and your WordPress
Quickly returning to Social Media, first off for no apparent reason I’d like to make clear I’m NOT on FB and don’t do Twitter! At my age you must be joking, never have and never will, truthfully speaking I can’t help musing there’s something a little creepy about grown men having a facebook account, boys yes, men no, there you are just an opinion. Don’t get me wrong social media is a great idea but the revolution’s passed me by…….mind you Twitter’s good if you’re famous, start a petition to get Stephen Fry back I say, my sister in law is on FB, helps her unwind of an evening after the kids go to bed.
Oh yes where was I, thoughts of social media. For several weeks now I’ve become increasingly aware the majority of bloggers I Follow link their WordPress to Instagram Facebook and Twitter accounts and this has me asking myself why do I have a WordPress? The lack of social interaction here does make me unhappy. I need to get out more, I’m a stranger to you 🙂 I need a lay!
Don’t judge me yet, I’m so pleased when ladies reply and say Hi when I comment, an erotic poetess says my comments always make her smile, she says I have a funny turn of phrase and it’s such a pleasure others appreciate my honesty. One woman even wrote me a profile for an internet dating website, lots of encouragement and tips, she said stay clear of bs and you’ll do well, but 😦 of course I never did…………… she’d have been disappointed after doing all that for me. Oh well.
So Bloggers post then Tweet their friends with the link. Common sense! A true community of friends interacting, would be nice but no that’s for the ‘kids’ and mums/moms……… like I said I don’t, I publish and well I’m depressing myself now 😦
So are there any conclusions to be made here, no, lol you decide and please don’t ever take my posts tooo seriously, people seem to Like me
I’m WELL aware I sound ungrateful 😦 , I’m NOT , NO, I’ve met so many wonderful people from across the Globe and yes some have become ‘internet friends’, (strangers still) and who recognise my rather unusual truthful honest way of expressing myself, and I’m extremely pleased to have yes lol interacted with you and your blog writing 🙂 I hope no ones been offended by my silly little Posts or my honest comments.
Incidentally my stats say someone in China has been viewing my blog 🙂 I’m so curious which post they looked at? Housing estate Walnut Tree? Autumn Leaves photo? Downton Abbey? My balls in briefs? Oxford’s ‘Gropecunt Lane? My mum’s collie?
I’ll still Follow.
That’s enough now, amazing where a couple of hours and a meandering stream of consciousness takes me.
(I have to admit I’m not entirely happy with this Mrs May post, uploaded last night, and but for the comments I would have removed, a little tooo jolly but it stays. The only point I’m trying to get across is our PM could be a useful bridge to the world oh and introduce Theresa if you’ve never heard of her 🙂 )
I never usually blog Politics and I’m NOT going to repeat here what you can go read on the internet about Mrs May, after all I pale into significance compared with the professionals, so go Google British Newspapers! 🙂 But I’m at a loose end and I Follow several American political bloggers so why not post one of my own.
Sunday is nearly over and I thought I’d show a few pictures of our Theresa since she’s in the American News 😀 . AND thankfully yes a chemistry existed between her and Trump but don’t worry Theresa was just playing politics, being nice and all, she’ll never be his lap pussy and note could be good counsel when he’s off Twitter.
Mrs May is a shrewd bright no nonsense talking daughter of a clergyman with sound moral judgement, so please give her a break Britain’s Press hopefully she’ll be a brake on Trump lunacy, they liked each other so calm down!
Unlike Trump, May is University educated having studied at St. John’sCollege, Oxford (which incidentally I walk past everyday on the way to work) and as you’ll guess I’m a big fan of our new PM she’s a breath of fresh air after that wanker showman David Cameron (BREXIT is his fault alone c##t) and never forget Theresa spent six years as Home Secretary coping with weekly (daily) minefields of riots, prison breakouts, police shootings of black teenagers………and yes the Police Federation so good at standing in the way of countless Home Secretaries over the years, they deserved a telling off!……..just watch this, Theresa as she reads Police the riot act.
AND I do like this very telling photograph below (1000 words and all that!), Trump’s re-telling an anecdote, cracking a joke and she’s well just letting it pass. (BTW I’m NOT anti American I loved Obama such a graceful intelligent man.
A few pictures, hasn’t she a great sense of style. (I wouldn’t say no!)
This isn’t a movie revue as such, call this personal observations ‘blank’, I nearly set private but this is wordpress, a place where you can say as you wish so all’s well. Some will disagree with my mental health tag, 🙂 but no matter.
I’m bored watching footie tonight hence this began a lengthy reply WHICH later became a post and no I haven’t seen or read Girl Interrupted but I’m going to Google and find out more straight after this, 🙂 I have a good feeling.
Blank, I was secretly rather hoping you hadn’t watched ‘OrdinaryPeople’ so I could write 😀 , remember how I previously said sad films are a magnate to unhappy people well this film fits into that catagory perfectly, basically it’s perfecr for (blank) lol, not that I’m hinting but you get the gist!!! Briefly in this family drama there’s a hospitalised failed suicide attempt, a suicide which triggers a vulnerable young man who but for his amazing therapist would have perhaps did (omitted spoiler)……… but hold on ‘OP‘ is full of positives and certainly not a movie that’ll upset and like all great movies is based on an original novel by Judith Guest.
Difficult themes yet rewarding.
You’re possibly tooo young to have heard of Mary Tyler Moore and to answer your question her character Beth is BPD in some traits but as I said the death of her son brought a type of psychosis to the fore, some readers may disagree, whichever, grief bound she’s in need of therapy WHICH the film suggests would could have helped! Either way Beth is mentally unstable, on the cusp of a nervous breakdown and emotionally repressed but her only sin is trying to keep her ‘sh#t together’…….. sound familiar? Like all of Us!
Berger (Therapist) and Conrad
Basically this could be a movie right up our Streets so to speak! Only joking, well me anyway, but seriously I have a guess the sessions between Beth’s son Conrad and his therapist appeal because Berger manages to help Conrad understand why he feels so guilty for his part in his brother’s tragic death several years earlier.
Recommending a movie to someone is deeply problematic because for so many reasons favourites are personal to oneself, I have no idea as to your tastes but you being younger than I……..I’d guess…….. well I’m not going to sumise for fear of making a fool of myself. Yes ‘OP’ is a little dated now but I would say give it a go, the tale although harrowing is intelligent, difficult but at the same time rewarding. Spoiler alert, thankfully no sex!
And Elizabeth is adorable as the sweet girlfriend and important to Conrad’s story.
One of my top ten favourite movies, makes me cry and that’s no easy feat.
Mary Tyler Moore died this week, now I’m not old enough to remember her portrayal of all American moms in 1960s television sitcoms but I do know her characters were usually amusing lovable housewives, ‘cute cookies’ have you will and always exuding a strong sexy appeal to satisfy the dads watching, you just knew her characters could cook delicious meals and be a filthy sex goddess in the bedroom, in the nicest possible way 🙂
Then in 1981 Mary surprised the viewing public by playing the character of Beth in RobertRedford’s ‘Ordinary People’ (a family drama which I may write about). The film was awarded 4 Oscars that year but shamefully Mary didn’t win, OK shamefully is a little ott but anyone who’s seen ‘Ordinary People’ will tell you she stole the movie with a magnificent character performance.
Remember I titled my post Strung tighter than a fiddlersbow? Well if you’ve seen ‘OrdinaryPeople’ you’ll know I’m referring to Beth a berieved mentally unstable mother on the verge of a nervous breakdown. At the time Mary’s good clean wholesome image was chalk and cheese to Beth’s various personality disorders, I guess the measure of Mary as an actress is that she gave a masterful performance of two women who couldn’t be more dissimilar, hence most people of the time were of the opinion Mary was robbed of her Oscar………. without googling I wonder who one best supporting actress that year?
I recommend you watch, and by the way I saw this years ‘La LaLand’, what an earth is with all the hype and awards? I hated it! 😀
It’s late evening in the UK and I’m sooon off to bed so this’ll be a quick post, my hot water bottle’s been there half an hour already hmm can’t help thinking a woman would be nicer. God I must be getting old talking of hot water bottles!
Read the Title you’ll see I’ve written ‘my week’, all very ambiguous I know, what I really mean to say is I’d love to write and upload more during the week but I work Longgggg hours (ahhh) also endure tedious bus rides in slow moving Oxford City traffic and by the time I get home, make tea, wash up, read some blog posts, perhaps masturbate! By the time all that’s done I’m worn out!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m blessed and grateful to be in regular paid work.
Then it’s up to bed and ridiculously I repeat the same routine next day and the next! Madness lol, if a Martian landed on earth and witnessed the ridiculous things humans get up to he’d jump back in his spaceship and clear off home, (I know a lame lame anecdote but it’s late.)
Long and short, I’d like to post more, but there doesn’t seem to be the time.
Now to YouTube.
I also referred to YouTube in the post Title. Those of you who’ve read the odd post of mine will know time to time I include a YouTube video, btw I know of another blogger who does the same. Now I’m not someone to give advice but YouTube is a very useful media tool and ISN’T only for wasting one’s life watching people do stupid things!
So lol my advice (and this is the first and only occasion I’ll offer advice, after all I’m in no position). Perhaps begin a YouTube Channel of your own and for your viewing only. Sign up, get a Channel then walk away and completely forget about it. Yep you read right don’t even go back there until the day you’ve filmed a short video on your camera, then upload onto your Channel and post the video link onto your blog (If you want to, goes without saying!!!) Easy as! Then forget about the Channel again and be happy no one watches except via your blog or videos for the family.
Useful tip? Not for everyone after all most of bloggers are writers, but making videos via your camera can be fun.
You now have your own YouTube to be used how it was originally intended and designed to be used. Note. Remember you cannot upload video straight onto WP unless you pay. And I’m not going to pay for a domain!
Anyways here’s another one of my videos, a while ago I filmed (mpeg off digital camera) a whole Series instructing the viewer how to make a toy garage for model cars out of wood. Incidentally the garage in the video I gave to my young nephews for Christmas, aren’t I a great Uncle 😀
(To begin with thank you to those who newly Followed my blog after reading yesterday evening’s post, your likes are really appreciated 🙂 and consequently I am now Following two new blogs but for personal reasons I’d like to say little more except to say I loved reading the ‘Friendships & Loneliness’ post last night before bed, thank you. I should warn you new Followers my WordPress has no one specific theme, in fact sometimes I feel out of my depth here compared to some of the Fabulous blogs I Follow and read with a passion, a very productive lunch hour at work I can tell you but don’t expect tooo much from me please, I’m very honest and true to myself consequently they’re not to every ones taste 😀 Yesterday evening wasn’t a happy place for me as you may have read last night, I shouldn’t apologise should I, but writing helped and I guess I’ve given you all a great Movie recommendation, beats the run of the mill Movie Revues.)
Hester thank you for such an interesting and intriguing comment to that post, yes our connection though tenuous lol was a neat touch point! (More ways than one though, my Great Grandfather having fought Dutch Boers in the 1898-1902 Boer War!!!)
Enough of War 🙂
Three photographs for you Hester. Having completed my first year as a newly apprenticed Toolmaker here are a selection of the tools I made throughout that year and every item crafted by my very own hands, everything on the table made by me and I’m rather proud of every item even if I say it myself, and why not lol I’m not that skilled at anything else! Incidentally I still use many of them today at my present place of work.
Below I’ve included a second set of photographs taken of the Factory I was apprenticed to and a Company I’m truly grateful to, they paid me a living wage and taught me a Skilled Trade, it’s only now all these years later that I realise I was a very lucky lad indeed! Incidentally the factory is no more, an American Company bought the then owners out and closed that old Plant several years later……….all those wonderful 1940’s buildings have disappeared flattened and in its place are luxury penthouse flats! I was going to swear but you’re a lady and what’s the point?
That wonderful factory employed hundreds of workers, kept a local communities shops and businesses alive, trained young men and women a skilled trade, helped UK’s balance of payments and manufactured armaments during the second world war. Yes they made war weapons from bomb and bullet casings through to casting hand grenades in the iron foundry. I’m afraid I’m very VERY bitter about the factory being closed, I’d moved on to the University by that point, but I still cried the day I wandered along the canal tow path only to witness those lovely buildings being demolished to rubble, such happy memories, such fabulous workmates.
A few more pictures of W Lucy & Co. Ltd. taken before closure.
That’s progress for you!
It’s funny when I write something I never have an idea how it’ll be taken, so thank you for the comment and a blog connection with someone residing in a far away Country, Africa no less, is fabulous. I used to worry with my previous blog after uploading but now I ‘publish’ and see what happens, I guess we’re all a little like that. Incidentally the company I used to be apprenticed to manufactured electrical substation switchgear and exported ring mains to SouthAfrica. As you know I now work for a blank mainly associated with research groups also the odd day supervising lol pretty 18= females, hard life 😉 But seriously I did love my apprentice days, out of interest could you be a little more specific with at least one example of a manual you’ve written because I’m quite fascinated, or perhaps you’d rather not this being a public website.
One of life’s unfathomable questions for you, think of a Movie! Then ask yourselves why do some people hate everything about that Movie yet others love the tale with a passion perhaps even rating it as their favourite of all time, or let’s say of that particular moment, interesting conundrum don’t you think? A Hollywood Producers Holy Grail.
Tonight being Saturday evening I had intended to walk the half mile into Town and watch ‘La La Land’ now playing at my local cinema, apparently this Movie is billed as a future classic, a throwback to musicals of an earlier era such as Singing In The Rain’, I was going to watch but ultimately didn’t!
Right now I’m tooo tired to summon up the words to honestly describe how dejected and sorry for myself I’m feeling, so as sometimes happens on my blog, a dictionary definition will suffice:
Anxiety – definition – ‘a feeling of worry, nervousness, apprehension, agitation foreboding, unease as regards something with an uncertain outcome’, life! Couldn’t have described the debilitating affects of AvPD any better.
There’s an American Statute named ‘Pursuit of Happiness’, such a strange phrase?
Lazy to cut and paste from Google I know (at least I’m honest), but I ask could you dream up a better answer describing how I feel all or most of the time? All I’ve ever wished in life is to have something my brother has remembering I haven’t an ounce of jealousy in my being, a wife would be nice, simple as, I’d love to have met a woman similar toJayne, a wonderful mother, homemaker, who’s witty charming, she crafts and sows, is beautiful and going by the contents of her underwear draw I have a guess she’s spectacular in bed (don’t ask how I know long story)…………true love is a gift hookers can never give, ahh but do I visit hookers lol? Women make you happy don’t they? Or as one lady blogger once replied to me, ‘Andrew honey be careful what you wish for’.
Anyways this isn’t a post about escorts or my lovely sister-in-law! (Not a Saint mind lol, no one’s that perfect, the lady can be moody………..and if she ever reads this remember you’re in my Will honey.)
Returning to earlier this evening, I had something to eat, dressed myself in warm coat hat and scarf in preparation for tonight’s freezing temperatures, I stood in my hallway about to open my front door into a cold dark winter’s night then anxiety hit me and all anticipation of happy times disappeared, I asked myself ‘what really is the point going to watch a sweet happy Film on my own? ‘La La Land’ is a Movie for young lovers, retired couples, married parents who’ve left their little ones with a baby sitter all for a deserved relaxing evening out, why go?’………… why would a single middle aged guy feeling rather anxious melancholy and dejected really need to be amongst happy laughing people, endure such hellish tortuous solitude? So I didn’t bother. Anxiety as often does got the better of me tonight, a feeling of ‘what an earth is the f#cking point’ consumed my mind, and all cheerful spirit disappeared, and yes I was even a little tearful as I undressed myself, a panic attack? No. ………… I will watch ‘La La Land’ but some other day, perhaps next week after work in Oxford………….. Loneliness is a disease, solitude fuels depression, I give up, why convince myself I’m enjoying a Movie which has to be viewed sitting next to the person you love? A rhetorical question there is no answer.
All wasn’t lost though, I belong to Lovefilm, you know the ‘club’, you pay a subscription to Amazon and in return they’ll post two DVDs to your home, newly released Movies of your internet choosing to watch on your own, and just so happens one of my two selections was a French Film named ‘I’ve Loved You So Long’. A Movie touching on themes of suicide depression murder sadness and family heartache yet which possesses a wonderful uplifting ending, warms the coldest hearts 🙂 and in my opinion is a masterpiece of a Film, a real weepy so have a box of tissues ready to hand, you’ll NEVER suspect she actually did that!
So I curl up on my sofa with a glass of fresh apple juice, then after two hours of viewing this wonderful tale the Film ends, the credits role, and my brief moment of enjoyment leaves as quickly as it came and I’m left on my own again, a kiss and a cuddle would be nice lol. But as they say tomorrow will be a new day, happiness is a life choice, so I must try to make tomorrow a happy day.
Sad Films are a magnet for unhappy people
Don’t get me wrong though, as bad a movie review as tonight’s post suggests, ‘I’ve Loved You So Long’ is a true classic, intelligent, original with a tour de force performance from Kristen Scott Thomas and her all French cast. Please watch.
I know feeling sorry for oneself isn’t a pretty sight, quite childish actually 😦
You’ll be relieved there’s no pictures of my‘bum’ tonight, I’m going to see ‘La La Land’, been so looking forward to watching that movie.
Yesterday evening I was very excited, I went to bed expecting snow only to open my bedroom curtains next morning and wouldn’t you believe it NOT one single snowflake had fallen last night, consequently I’m a little brassed off today all because the UK was promised plummeting temperatures accompanied by inches of deep white virgin snow (I exaggerate). So much so soldiers and military vehicles had been put on stand by (true), but no not one snowflake fell and I had my camera ready spare batteries charged! And I had this silly little blog all set to share photos of snow covered fields and white Cotswold stone Churches. But alas this morning I opened my bedroom curtains, gazed out the window only to be confronted by my same old boring suburban housing estate. Ahh well tis only mid January and it always snows on my birthday.
People have written they enjoy my photographic posts, so when Oxford gets snow whether you like it or not I guarantee they’ll be snow scenes galore!
I’m NOT going to write about blogging tonight because that’s boring, except to say I Follow many talented people here on WordPress, by talented I mean they can create with their hands, I love the blogs where people draw with pencil and paint on canvas so much so if they were for sale and I could afford to buy, I’d perhaps ask to purchase one from them.
Then I got to thinking ‘what about myself?’ in what ways am I Andrew creative? I cannot paint or write poetry and to be honest I wing it here as a blogger but people have liked which has been an absolute joy, so all’s good with the world only wish I was having sex at present.
No I’m happy to admit I’m possibly the least creative person alive but even if I say it myself I am reasonably good at making things with my hands and I’m not showing off! No I cannot paint but I am creative in another sense, ever since a very young man I’ve been employed as an engineering Toolmaker, don’t yawn lol I understand manufacturing things from metal isn’t most people’s idea of being creative but no matter because I’m going to tell you anyway! At age sixteen I served a four year apprenticeship living near penniless on very meagre wages, however I should not be disingenuous because the factory I was employed by taught me a trade which has served me well over the past X amount of years, and fingers crossed a trade which will see me earning into retirement because here in the UK we have a shortage of skilled labour…….so yes I am a very lucky man.
And I enjoy my job, I look forward to going to work of a morning, blessed I work alongside great colleagues and spend many glorious hours with highly intelligent University graduates all eager to learn and hopefully attain themselves a good degree which will serve them well in years to come. Yes I adore the fair sex but both boys and girls are a delight to work with, their eagerness and ambition is a joy to behold and infectious to jaded middle aged men, like all young people they have a huge appetite for life and a University Degree could should and will open any door they wish to open.
I’m not showing off neither conceited, my job can be boring but on the upside I do get to work with many lovely young ladies, sweet beautiful creatures with bubbly personalities who but for our Department I would never come into contact with in my personal life, and by god aren’t they ladies attractive (note over age 18), even better come summertime they’ll be wearing short skirts and tight tee shirts! Now hold on before you judge me, I’m a responsible gentleman both respectful and professional but there’s no harm admitting charming beautiful young women are a delight to tenuously be around and they know I’m a soft touch when asked for help, (no word of a lie women are ruthless when they want something lol), smile sweetly and I’ll do whatever she asks, play the little girl lol and she’ll have me wound round her little finger! I will admit once in a while I’ll have to visit the bathroom for a quick masturbate, but don’t all men ‘knock one off the wrist’ thinking about the women they work with?
Anyways enough of my wittering and before I get myself into trouble talking of legs and bras wanking and boobs (at least I’m honest we’re all the same, we all appreciate beauty), I’d better return to my working ability using my hands! I know most readers will find the following photographs very VERY boring but I’m going to upload anyway because I haven’t seen them in an age, and some of you will know I use my blog as a journal for old personal photographs saved from desk draws and albums under beds.
Briefly I’m a toolmaker by trade (I know who cares 😀 ), which basically means when given a block of metal also drawings and assorted machine tools then I can manufacture virtually anything you wish, and when you for example buy a plastic kettle, rather boringly some guy or girl in a factory will have made the tool which once had plastic poured into it!
Btw a kitchen Kettle was an example.
So here are a selection of photo’s taken of press tools made by my own hands……….not very creative and somewhat boring I know but I am rather proud of them…….. call this a post for me 🙂
Four photos of an engineering Press Tool used for producing sheet steel components.
I know I know… It has been ages since I even had a look at wordpress though I have a good excuse 🙂 hehe. Have any of you ever heard of swimmer syndrome in puppies? I honestly have never!! My dog recently had a litter of 9 and I thought everything was going perfectly and smoothly however, a month down the line, the runt of the litter still could not walk. You would hear him crying all night trying to move 1 foot in order to feed. I literally had a baby of my own! Waking up 5-10 times in the night to help this poor pup! I put it down to he’s the runt! He is weak, frail and just needs a little push.
A week later, I noticed that he was dragging himself across the ground. Legs spread out on either side like this:
😀 Now hold on and listen before you get your knickers all in a twist, and yes that’s me gazing out my bedroom window, but please read on and give me a chance to explain why I think showing these pictures is fine and reasonable.
I’m an exhibitionist at heart, not the best looking bloke in the world however here’s a thing, undressing naked in front of women I haven’t known long doesn’t worry me in the slightest, and as for my selfies? Yes I’ll admit they’re staged, but I do gaze out my bedroom window once in a blue moon, I’m not adverse to watching a thunder and lightening display or snow flakes passing my window on a cold winter’s night. (When we get some I’ll post pictures).
Where was I? Oh yes my naked selfies or the part where I make a case for not being unusual or odd, I wouldn’t argue though! Short and sweet, I took the pictures because I have a brand new Samsung tablet (true) and wanted to test the camera’s image quality, a lame answer I know, but I do have a new android tablet 🙂 .
A little about my previous blog, many MANY months ago I would participate in a photographic blog meme? by the name of Sinful Sunday, and if pushed I’d call our photographs a sexier interpretation of WordPress’s Daily Prompt. Anyone could take part and here’s how, briefly every Wednesday a lady called Molly would suggest a themed word, then the following Sunday we’d all submit artistic tasteful naked photos (selfies) which were a theme of her word. Molly on the Sunday would post the 40 or so entries on her blog (with blog links) and choose her winner! (I won just the once but there was NO prize…………….prizes create competition envy and disappointment.)
So here’s a question am I worried my pictures could become a meme and go viral? I really can’t see that happening! More importantly if you’ve read the WordPress guidelines? Have you? If you have read you’ll know to WordPress’s credit, they allow explicitly written stories for adults to write if they wish, also allow consenting adults to be risqué if they wish and that’s fantastic, so if mine go viral, …..it’ll be interesting if nothing else. Lol quite a nice ass for my age don’t you think? 🙂 apparently a guys cheek muscles recede with age, consequently leaving him with a bony ass………so they say, sue me lol, I first read of that fact in an English Newspaper accompanied by a photo of Ronnie Wood.
Anyways participating in Molly’s photographic blog was fun for a while, also everyone posted within WP guidelines namely NO sexual acts, NO genitals and all entrants had to be over age 18. And if someone for example had submitted outside her written guidelines and rules, Molly was within her rights to report to WordPress and quite rightly so!
Recalling all those months back, I did kind of look forward to Sunday mornings and see my entry, just as importantly view other people’s interpretations of Molly’s word prompt, so you may ask, how far did everyone go? Honestly, nothing more than ‘boobs and ass’, they could be black and white , colour, pictured out in the countryside (not me), or artistic poses in the bathroom, basically where ever your imagination would take you……..and as we all know blogging attracts skilled writers and intelligent readers, well put it this way participants were in truth middle aged, mature, with body’s having seen better days.
Here is a fact for you, 95% of Sinful Sunday picture bloggers were in fact women and I remember questioning myself is a guy taking his clothes off any different to a nude lady? Are we dictated to by double standards? A world where a lady showing her boobs is more socially and morally acceptable than a naked guy? Personally speaking I’ve never taken a dick picture in my life, nor would I, forwarding dick pictures seems so sad and I have to ask what is the point, dicks look horrible and wrinkly anyway!
So here’s an updated photo of Molly’s prompt called RAIN…….I’ve Titled ‘Watching Rain’ (even though I’m not).
I’ve seen worse asses but I won’t be taking part again, and I promise this’ll be a first and last naked picture you’ll see of me on Blog Andrew. 🙂
These nine photographs below are taken by a 10 second repeat timer and yes I love my new tablet. Finally if they made you smile I’m happy if your disgusted that’s fine……and a wtf will probably be nearer the mark, perhaps I am insecure at heart and just enjoyed the attention?
An hour ago I uploaded a very personal and password protected post with a lady and myself in mind, the theme is depression so not a very festive nor Happy New Year subject is it? Anyways the password will have to be sought but note adult themes, I know 🙂 I know 🙂 I know 🙂 now isn’t the time or date to publish such a post but I desperately wanted it on my blog before 2017 begins, but knowing the sort of silliness and photos my Followers enjoy it’s probably not their ‘cup of tea’ which is ok, but she was helpful. Sorry for being vague and drama Queenish but I wanted it on my blog. TY . God I hope next year is a good one in so many ways.
My FINAL post of 2016, one to look back on because next year will be a new beginning and a time to move on and see where 2017 takes me.
Ok 🙂 I understand talk of Depression and Mental illness isn’t an attractive subject to blog about which could be sympathetically answered from me thus, I’ve shied away from personal posts preferring to hopefully entertain, my take on blogging is do ‘we’ really need other peoples negativity in our own lives? Do ‘you’ need me draining your spirit humour and energy from the cheery blogger who just this minute sat down then scrolled their Reader hoping to be ‘entertained’ by my rather eclectic posts?
Of course you don’t but hold on perhaps I’m assuming too much, we’re told by mental health professionals that 1 in 4 of us at some point in our lives will suffer from mental illness, anyways like it or not sharing my following true story is meant as a thank you to a lovely lady, I’ll call her I. and yes I hope to convey a positive message, not because suicide is any subject to be taken lightly, no I consider the reply email from lady blogger I. uplifting.
First my message to lady I.
‘I promised to write I. and keeping one’s word is good manners when you yourself give of so selflessly, so please bare in mind I’m not showing off and as always what I have to say is honestly written……..God don’t I half go on!!!!
I have a worry connected to a theme you’ve addressed in an earlier post, I have worries writing about a past attempt to harm myself, and the ‘why’ is because it’s a known fact revealing detail does and can trigger copycat behaviour amongst mentally vulnerable people, hence I’ve given little detail. However I’m still a little concerned, you are a beautiful soul both inside and out, just remember I’m ok and haven’t the nerve to go through with anything anyway, and neither do I wish to emotionally drain you with my self indulgence, which you’ve intimated has happened in the past. But I have a guess you enjoy if that’s the right word, by reading your comments you seem to find listening and interacting quite therapeutic probably because you are both skilled and knowledgeable when confronted with other peoples mental problems……let’s qualify that remark with ‘other people’s tales’……..you’d make a good agony Aunt plus you’ve a wicked sense of humour and brilliant turn of phrase.
But don’t feel you have to reply, all’s good, this afternoon’s been nice to talk and I’m feeling very relaxed right now.
So you’ll guess I once attempted to end my life, happened in Spring this year and I obviously didn’t, either through weakness or whatever I couldn’t and ultimately a Police intervention stopped me carrying out my wicked selfish act, however consequences of that afternoon’s events meant enduring a series of compulsory interviews sat opposite an NHS psychiatrist all because I was deemed at risk. Then later I had to sit through harsh words from my GP……..and what annoys me still to this day, by talking confidentially with a mental health professional, giving completely of myself in detail, revealing my naked soul and darkest secrets is all very good, but then ‘he’ went and told my GP every single sordid detail! There I was weeks later in my doctors consulting room, him reading transcripts word for word verbatim of what I’d said, embarrassing if nothing else, and not being told I’d been previously recorded was wrong, and has put me off from ever talking to a health professional ever again!
(Next year this will change.)
There you are, my GP’s a decent guy but I must admit this experience has stopped me from ever bringing this subject up again with anyone, which is both frustrating and very depressing. I can see why mental health professionals are careful, why they follow guidelines and strict procedures but if you can’t speak confidentially with a ‘shrink’ then what an earth is the point? So consequently I’ve learnt being candid with a stranger can have horrendous consequences and ramifications, then what happens if I’m Sectioned like my father was still a young man suffering from depression.
Anyways back to me and living with the consequences of what turned out to be reckless honesty. Ok let’s say it happened again and at worst I’m sectioned into a hospital, what then when I return to work?
I. I have the feeling living on my own is at the heart of my emotional problems and depression (this hurts saying). I must admit the older and wiser I get, also the relationship problems I observe in others and that well worn saying, ‘Women! You can’t live with them you can’t live without them (applies to men also)’ rings truer and truer, can two people live happy every after? I guess the upside to living with someone is sex which I miss, the downside is rows and arguments, I know a lady who nags at her husband to the point ‘lol’ I feel like saying “for f#cks sake woman give the guy a break!!” Trouble is I quite like my balls so I’ll keep my mouth shut, but BUT hold on! I’d take a relationship with all its pitfalls any day, a long story is why not………just say ahh!!
My past sex life and don’t judge too harshly, <personal> were fun, yes I visited beautiful 20 something <personal> who doted on me, but to be completely honest I came away feeling a chat with her would have been more fun, a kiss cuddle and sharing a cup of tea would have been more emotionally rewarding, physically fulfilling than her sucking my dick with her large brown doe eyes gazing deep into mine………… and if there’s one truth I’ve learnt in my years walking this awful planet populated with nasty people, I know for certain sex is a pointless waste of time and energy unless two people love each other, I would have to emotionally connect with the woman I’m f#cking, if not I’m content being celibate hence I haven’t been with an <personal> in several years. Sex I don’t miss because it has to be shared with someone I love and who loves me in return.
I guess you’re maybe thinking, ‘Well Andrew ty lol for nothing, you’ve written many words with out saying a great deal’, and rereading I’m inclined to agree (this hasn’t been edited or toyed with btw). However I. I think this is by far my most honest post and I’ve yes enjoyed sharing two facts with you. Firstly I have a deep seated mistrust opening up to mental health professionals again, perhaps I did everything wrong way round before, perhaps if I’d seen and talked with my GP before attempting to self harm, even though I don’t think I’m a strong enough man to go through with such a wicked crime, perhaps if I’d began by telling him of my depression he would have been more willing to help, trouble is depression induced acts aren’t thought through and rational are they! And because my GP knows what happened I haven’t been back in 8 months and I’m unsure if I ever want to again. I’d guess if he and I talked now, always in the back of his mind would be my admission in that bloody transcript………he totally clammed up after and I have a guess to why.
Secondly I’ve perhaps already answered my own question, I have a strong feeling I’m depressed because I’m single, I hate coming home on an evening, opening the front door and hearing complete silence as I step across the threshold, it would be nice to receive a kiss “hello honey” and cuddle, and of course you’ll know as fact, single men are more at risk of self harm, loneliness is a contributing factor, awful, such is life.
IncidentallyI can honestly say the one person who seemed to really care, seemed genuinely interested in my life story was the Policewoman who found me and who later drove me to the Station and interviewed, she chatted with me and admitted to her own depression, on the day in question this lovely lady had an ability to understand and share the feelings of another, an empath have you will, and I’ve never met anyone show such kindness and concern before or since. But yes I realise she was being completely professional, and she was very sweet………..plus I’m a sucker for a pretty smile 😀 no joking apart she cared.
🙂 I’m feeling ok yet resigned to knowing I’ll always go through life thinking ‘what’s the point?’ You’ll understand for those who don’t give a f#ck getting through the day can be like trudging through proverbial treacle, so don’t worry I’m ok, also as of this moment smiling.
(You kindly gave me your email, but a post for you seemed best, if you’ve found it interesting that’s brilliant and really enough, think a post is best, you may feel uncomfortable seeing me in your inbox 😀 )
Do you consider my true and honest tale positive or wicked and self indulgent? Don’t answer.
I hope I. doesn’t mind me posting extracts from her email, maybe, she hoped I’d post my bit so all’s good. 🙂 So here is an edited version of her email reply and if you are feeling rather low I think you may take comfort from the information she replied, judge me, but just know lady I. is very lovely very knowledgeable.
‘<personal>……………………I’m glad you had that positive experience with the police woman 😊 That kind of thing makes all the difference when you’re at rock bottom. With the psychiatrist, because it was an urgent care assessment, in other words to ascertain whether your risk of completing suicide was sufficient for you to be detained under the mental health act, everything is written down and recorded verbatim in quotation marks. That is how it is, as they have a duty of care to communicate between professionals. They should have made that clear at the outset though. Some GPs are shit with mental health and uncomfortable discussing it openly. Some are great. It’s a lottery. You can always book in with a new GP, but a suicide attempt/crisis assessment will always be on your mental health records so a new person will see it too. That is for your own benefit. So people know you have been vulnerable and they need to be attentive and take care of you well. It is not a weapon to judge a patient with. It is just how the system works. But I understand your fear and worry of stigma. I didn’t visit the doctor for years after I was first diagnosed with clinical depression at 16. But now I think fuck it. If I need a doctor I’ll see one, and I’m not gonna worry how I might be perceived. No mental health care is confidential. None of it. But that is because it is important all NHS people have an awareness of yourhistory………………<personal>……………………
………….<personal>……….. And about being single, feeling depressed about that and feeling lonely is understandable. I have a depressed male friend at the moment which has been desperately unhappy for this reason. I get it. Companionship and sex and intimacy is a gift, so when it’s lacking we will feel emptiness. Personally I feel depressed emptiness and loneliness myself even though I’m married. It is more typical than we think it is. I know that an awareness that other people feel the same doesn’t help you feel better, but it’s a small comfort I hope. Your feelings are valid and reasonable in your life circumstances. I’m sorry this is how your personal life is just now, but it is temporary, not forever 😊 ………………’
I’m unsure how to finish this post, not usually a problem for me, 60 posts and I’ve never had a problem, 200 if you count my previous blog, usually I write ‘just be sure my next post won’t be anything like this one’. Back to this post and being unsure how to tie up loose ends, I can’t because there are NO easy answers to mental health issues, all I hope is you may at least find my tale and lady I. useful information and if you think you need to seek professional help.
If you’ve Followed my blog 😀 (in the loosest term of the phrase) this autumn ty, I had a lovely Christmas and hope you did to, mine was spent with my adorable young nephews, great fun and being around their childish enthusiasm was a real joy. ❤
My scenic photographic posts have been popular and I enjoy sharing so here’s two more for you and of course taken by me. Earlier this autumn and on a whim I booked a last minute ‘single’ room at a small West Rocks Hotel on the South Coast of England. As their website stated the room’s view stretched out across a pebble beach with blue sea beyond and a stunning sunset, I know I wish I’d taken photos next time!)
I take short breaks sometimes and highly recommend, no planning, I went on-line on the Thursday and booked a Hotel somewhere last minute (some great prices for the Friday), the only proviso a Hotel has to be near a railway station. Then come Friday evening I’ll travel light taking the train for a weekend’s short break, and when there I’ll maybe sightsee trek a coastline or just do whatever?
A New Year resolution is to try more often though the downside to travelling alone is it can be depressing, there you are we’ll see . Here’s a tip, travelling light is very liberating only because WE (humans) carry far tooo much baggage in life, why? With that in mind all I really carry is a small rucksack with undies (ok lol and a little more!)
Well as the Title hinted, a few months ago I took the train from Oxford England directly down to Eastbourne on the South coast, I’ll say little about Eastbourne (boring City) other than it’s sunny and warm all year round hence the retirement capital of England, a little like an English equivalent of Florida!
I must admit to wanting to finally experience the magnificent Beachy Head chalk cliffs also wander along the Coastline a little, the weather was stunning that day BUT I don’t mind wind rain and the cold……….when you walk alone in horrible weather you may find thoughts of ‘why are we here’ become a second person, you’re p#ssed angry at being outside all wet and cold and dispirited as apposed to gaily enjoying getting suntanned, just think about that dichotomy for a second……….
Dichotomy def – a division or contrast between two things that are or are represented as being opposed or entirely different. (Sorry but you maybe know I love my dictionary)
…………..remember how relieved you feel when you get home dry and warm with a comforting hot drink?………..Climb a mountain in the driving rain and you’ll think deeply about your lives?
I’ll probably still blog in 2017, it’ll be the same old sh#t 😀 no seriously I may, then again perhaps maybe not, we all feel like that? But to be honest I still enjoy posting now as if it was my first 2 years ago, the blog entry where I lost my virginity, you’d enjoy that one cause I’ve never been a more popular blogger since.
I would like to wish everyone who has read any of my posts, and please please 🙂 don’t ever take them too seriously, to anyone who’s read my comments or been a blog friend to me, I’d like to wish you a Happy Christmas. I’m off to my brother’s family tomorrow and really looking forward to it, hopefully their children will rid me of all my middle aged cynicism and the days will be fun! Apparently they are near besides themselves with excitement just the way Christmas should be.
(WordPress has been a joy and wonderful experience, primarily for the interesting people I’ve interacted with from many different countries, reading their fascinating blogs and of course having my very own. BUT there’s one other, WP has forded me the opportunity to share many personal photographs here and my previous blog, photos I haven’t viewed in years, well you don’t do you, I mean get old family photograph albums from a dusty draw, it just never happens and then JOY OF JOYS one or two people like them…….. absolutely fabulous.)
So here is a final selection of photos taken by me or my brother as we spent a wonderful week walking climbing the mountains in England’s Lake District! (Not that long ago btw).
Me clambering down a mountain (ok they aren’t that high compared to some in the world but the highest in England) however I cannot remember which one, and neither can I tell you the name of the peak that lays before me all I can say is was steep, frigging jars the knees coming down I can tell you!!!
The above pic is taken half way up or half way down? Notice as always a stream taking run off rain water from the mountain sides down to a Lake below. The Lake District is the rainiest area in England hence the land is always wet and green so you always needs rain gear in the rucksack.
My brother (below) surveying (I know lol) yet another magnificent Lake’s vista taken half way on the decent of a mountain peak, sorry I can’t tell you any of their names but it doesn’t matter just to say the ones we are facing are either walked and climbed on a previous day, or ones we intend to climb during the week, two physically fit outdoor men don’t travel all the way to the Lakes unless they are going to walk everyday.
A view from the top of I don’t know which one and that’s me bottom right sporting a well dodgy haircut!
I have to admit the photos are pulling at my heartstrings, I must go again. Below is I think two other walkers cause they’re not either my brother or me, as you’ll guess climbing the Lake District is a pretty solitary pastime and thank God for that!
Below is either actually me in a valley stream or jumping across big stones, did I get wet?
So that’s it, the last photo set taken of my brother and I walking holiday the Lake District. Thank you.
(When the following day I re read a post I’ve written, I wrote this last night, I think ‘geez Andrew could you try any harder to make people not like you?’ I’m tooo honest for my own good, I visited the young women for love, they said and I know I looked for love in the wrong place, a past life, 🙂 I’m tooo honest but I’ll carry on maybe in drafts only for myself, always feeling second best needs addressing or I’ll never move on.)
These next posts could be considered by some an exercise in self indulgence, but that’s fine I won’t argue 🙂 I enjoyed writing. Btw part 3 of Lake District photos will have to wait, they’re old ones and isn’t the point to a blog new material?
The reasons why two brothers can be so different fascinates me and truthfully always has done. Those of you with children or lucky enough to have brothers and sisters will have questioned many times in pure wonderment, how and why babies borne of the same mother’s womb, genetically closer than all other billions of human souls walking this planet put together, are so similar yet SO different? How can it be two brothers (or four sisters) are so unalike, contrasting individuals dissimilar in EVERY possible respect to the point one could be a good kind human being, his brother an evil degenerate yet both are borne of the same woman! Absolutely incredible! I was going to labour the point with four sisters, but you get the idea.
Don’t worry this isn’t a critical essay, just personal observations, themes I’ve wanted to put down in print for quite a while.
I’ve had a thought after writing, perhaps interpret the escorting anecdotes as a juxtaposition, defining how different we both are! One brother moral the other amoral, black and white have you will,chalk and cheese!
I’m hoping my brother never discovers my blog and certainly hope he NEVER happened across my first let alone read it! Omfg that’d create a stir in the family that’s for sure, though knowing my lovely sister-in-law she’d almost certainly laugh 😀 ……. I don’t think it’s fair to leave you in suspense, not say a little more about my first, enough to say I shared tales of my afternoons spent with 12 lovely ‘high end’ in call escorts, a fact I’m neither proud or ashamed of, I looked for love in the wrong place and in truth we did very little together, to me they were sweet kind fun young ladies and well that naughty past life is behind me now……… sometimes I wish I hadn’t deleted that old blog but then again maybe erasing a printed past life was and is quite cathartic.
So to my brother M. Interesting to me I’m not in the slightest bit envious or jealous of my brother I’m only glad he didn’t turn out similar to me, NOT that there’s anything wrong with me mind, I’m a nice kind man who’s never been in trouble, but then again maybe if a frequented brothel had been raided by the Police that could have taken some explaining away to family and employer!!!! Me knelt at the end of the bed, my head between a beautiful young ladies parted thighs licking her freshly washed pussy, sucking folds of labia whilst out stretched arms permitted me squeezing her tits playing with her nipples, only for the serious crime squad to bust through her door looking for hookers and their clients. They never did. And I know escorts faked orgasms, one older lady who used to say ” Oh yes……….Oh yes………Oh yes……….Oh yes…..’ in a monotone matter of fact fashion, forearm resting on her face covering her eyes sort of didn’t fake, I asked her after I’d finished:
“Did you enjoy”, to which she replied “yes” with a smile, “you are gentle and I haven’t the time for faking, either I enjoy or I don’t and you were very pleasant”………..I’ll settle for that 🙂
Oh yes I digress, my brother, like I said I’m neither jealous envious or consumed with anger that he has a life I don’t, his life’s always appeared easier luckier for him than for me but that’s fine, his seems MORE fun but like I said I’m neither a jealous or envious man. Christ those are destructive evil qualities in a person, throughout British history envious Kings and Princes have fought one another, the younger usually jealous the elder’s to marry THE gorgeous Princess, a sibling who has power wealth and influence. In Biblical times brothers have murdered because one is envious of the other, I’m not religious so I can’t tell you their names or stories, but I remember from Sunday School more than one instance a jealous man has murdered his brother because he didn’t have what the other possessed, Cain and Able? Or am I right off.
(Escorting intermission, a memory, laying face down on warm quilt on a comfy bed in some Chelsea village apartment block, her sat on my buttocks legs astride my hips, me feeling her wet pussy against my butt cheeks as she massaged ‘BOOTS’ own brand coconut butter into my tense shoulder muscles…… heaven….God I need to get laid again, but I’m never going to pay ever again no more of that stupidity! Lovely human beings.)
Back to my brother, so we have ascertained I love him and I’m not in the slightest bit jealous or envious, you see he is the complete opposite to me in every way possible so much so I’ve wondered whether my mother may have gotten up to something and we are in fact ‘that’ or adopted ONLY JOKING MOTHER!!!!! (I know not funny) Maybe I am adopted? How can two brothers be so different? Enough to say we are ‘chalk and cheese’ like Prince Harry and Prince William well come on they are products of different fathers, so different in looks, Lady Di was NOT virginal when she married Prince Charles and turns out neither was she chaste after marriage, she was lovely but as it turned out the tramp didn’t half sleep around, our Queen of Hearts had many lovers and I’m happy she enjoyed her time on earth God rest her soul, ok I’ll go to the Tower and lose my head for that slur BUT someone tell me I’m lying and sue me for slander!!! She knew many men and in my dreams I wish one of them had been me! Hell I’d f#ck my neighbour given the chance lol. Nah C. is a lovely husband.
(I nearly cut that last paragraph, but doesn’t the fact two Royal brothers are SO different fascinate us all? Fine young men but we all are a little curious.)
(Escorting intermission, do you know what I had an epileptic fit whilst visiting one escort, I paid her took a shower and whilst in her tiny flat’s bathroom showering door securely locked (why?) she was waiting naked the other side with MASSIVE firm round big tits, anyways as I was showering, water streaming down my body I suddenly slumped to the bottom of the bath for approximately 1 minute shaking profusely, and as always happens, recovered and composed myself just as quickly before regaining my balance and unsteadily standing again. Recovered I sort of stumbled out the bathroom and she never knew or suspected, an epileptic fit is different for every sufferer but for me a seizure comes on near instantly and the debilitating effects leave just as quickly consequently I doubt she ever suspected. Would have freaked her out I know! Then move on 2 minutes and I was f#cking her missionary position on her double bed in a dimly lit Soho boudoir, incidentally BBC Radio 2 was playing in the back round for some reason, as I came all I could remember was some guy reading the London traffic news, sexy hey?)
So I hope you’ve ascertained my brother is totally different and I’m cool with the fact. For those still with me finally I’ve reached the point where I’d like to tell you something about him, M. is tall good looking, witty, charming, had many friends and acquaintances throughout his life, a very personable man who will talk to anyone, chatting with him is like meeting an old friend, as comfortable as if you’d known him for years. He’s University educated and highly intelligent, now employed as a Hospital clinical physician, and if you’re interested he research’s genetic abnormalities present in unborn children, avert your eyes for this next part. I don’t mean to be nasty, part of his job entails carrying a cool box from ward to lab (so I gather) carrying dead newly born babies or foetus, in of course a very caring dignified manner, he cares! Then his Department carries out important research, end results which may help you, a family member or someone you know who’s trying to have a baby. Not palatable but life changing important after conceiving.
M. in both personality and moral outlook takes after my mother and her father respectfully, there exists a direct genetic humane link in every way possible, he is thoughtful good and kind, implicitly knows and understands the difference between right and wrong, we all think we do, but he understands a problem or judgement as black or white, and if you listen to his opinion there is no colour grey, if you were to say something controversial or important he’d make clear right or wrong, but he’s not in the slightest bit arrogant patronising or condescending, in fact I’ve never met anyone where just through the art of conversation an issue or whatever can be so clear cut….then again we think like that 🙂
(Please don’t go thinking I’m a blogger who circles the globe visiting exotic places that make you wish ‘if only’, no these are ‘snaps’ taken on an annual holiday and little more, not quite sure why I needed to say that but there you are, and I know a lady in SA enjoys them 🙂 ).
I would describe the first picture as me ‘taking in’ the breath taking scenery before me, as I described in my previous post rain water from the ‘Fells’ forms streams which flow between tall mountains making their way down to valleys deep below, finally outpouring into lakes named and referred to as ‘Waters’, i.e. Ullswater, Derwent Water, Coniston Water…. When standing on top of mountains affront magnificent views such as this I guess it’s hard not to contemplate life itself, clearing the mind of what and what is important, existence of God questions? Maybe. And yes many hundreds of poets have been inspired to write great prose on these mountains.
What thoughts are crossing my mind I wonder? I can’t remember but I have a strong guess they are profound and of great worth……….. am I overstating their importance? I have a guess not, you’ll understand my meaning, when faced with such beauty ones mind is cleared of work, mortgages, bills and bs………….just for a minute anyway.
What an earth ever happened to those green ‘outdoor’ trousers? They were awesome as my young nephew would say!
Me again clambering up a steep ravine of loose rock and shale.
Looking at my photo below, I’m curious, could taking a bad photo in the LDNP actually be possible? Mind you l do feel slightly melancholic right now, and I’m contemplating where I maybe going on holiday next year!
You may have guessed my brother is fitter than me! Hence he’s the one at the top waiting to take photographs. And if you’re at all wondering my brother and I do get along, we are ‘chalk and cheese’ totally different, though we’re fine together. But similar to most siblings we can only go so many days before an err disagreement lol. You can never bs a sibling can you…….not that we were but you get my drift!
Two thoughts, I considered sharing all my photographs (taken by me) at once, also including a L D poem sourced from the internet, like William Wordsworth’s ‘Daffodils’, but no a selection at a time is fun and secondly, honestly after reading famous poems I prefer the poetry written by WordPress bloggers……seriously! I’ve never been more serious, controversial maybe but so true, please don’t ever underestimate your creativity skill imagination and talent.
The Lake District National Park has probably THE most beautiful scenic views in all of England, wild remote ‘Fells’, breath taking scenery and a landscape possessing the highest mountains in England, btw the guy below carrying a purple rucksack on his back is in fact my brother……… several years ago we camped and walked many miles together.
My brother again! I guess his winter fleece jacket and snow capped Fells gives away the time of year, summer or winter the Lake District is magnificently beautiful and incidentally some of you may know the scenery has inspired many famous writers and poets from years gone by.
Driving slowly pushing our way through sheep which populate the mountains by the thousands………..oh and if you know the region you’ll appreciate the Lakes are the wettest part of the UK……..I’ve visited and experienced rain every single day to such an extent my walking boot soles ‘fell off’ the leather being so wet and saturated with water.
At the foot of the mountains, icy cold streams carry water off the ‘Fells’ filling lakes known as ‘Waters’, so calm and still possessing such great length water speed records have been broken and lives lost…….Sir Malcom Campbell.
I shouldn’t apologise for my absence should I, 🙂 I know I haven’t posted for a while which is ok just appreciate I read every post my favourite bloggers share, whether poetry, mental illness, paintings, relationship advice, movie reviews and so much more. A ‘Forest Gump’ analogy often comes to mind when trying to sum up my WP reading experiences, the blogs I Follow could be ‘like a box of chocolates’…….. 🙂 an eclectic ‘mixed bag 😀 ‘ of diverse entertaining, wonderful prose writings and photographs. I guess the blogs we all follow are a reflection of own lives loves interests and problems, God knows lol what people make of mine but thank you for your time spent here ❤
Anyways there you are, truth be known I get very tired these days plus I need to get laid, a big mistake writing when one needs to masturbate and release all that pent up sexual tension, a f#ck buddy sounds wonderful and orgasmic, do you know what, a lady I once chatted with over coffee in a railway station cafeteria hinted at something perhaps every blogger should take heed of,
“Andrew, the trouble is darling, I developed feelings for my f#ck buddy, fell for him a little and then he stopped emailing……..but on the plus I tried anal for the first time!”
The lady and I parted on friendly terms but I’d wished for so much more (love), between you and me I briefly cried on the train ride home, only for a minute or so but I did shed a tear oh and incidentally by pure accident I’d touched her boobs, Christ you can go to prison these days for ‘accidents’ like that! That evening I worriedly apologised by email and she replied saying she “didn’t mind”, calling me “rather cheeky” which was a relief!
You see as I pulled away after a rather long embrace, the palms of my hands stroked the lace sides of her rather large bra cups and note she was wearing a thin cotton blouse at the time!……..I don’t mind admitting I fell in love with her and THAT’S why I know for certain internet dating just isn’t for me, you see I fall in love too easily and I have a feeling I could get my heart broken or worse!
Many months later when the lady blogger and I were sitting together at a table in some provincial railway station café, all very Trevor Howard and Celia Johnson and the Brief Encounter movie comparisons wasn’t lost on me, there we both were excitedly enjoying discussing our lives together, when she very loudly announced,
“Well Andrew you DO have a rather nice cock”, giving rise to a young lady seated at a table close by to turn her head and throw my blog friend a look of shocked slightly stunned disbelieve, well you would wouldn’t you, then seconds later having composed herself she smiled and returned to whatever she was doing, you’ll glean from that remark my friend and I had become kinda blog intimate exchanging photographs!!
A…N…D…R…E…W stop right there!
Anyways enough of that silliness, remember my previous post? The one where I’d intended to share photos of scenic views taken in and around the Lake District National Park? Only I didn’t preferring instead to write about a bus stop liaison, well for those of you who care lol I never met the lady again, the days passed by and I don’t know after a while meeting her again seemed not such a good idea. AND I certainly wasn’t returning just out of an inquisitiveness, no I’d never half heartedly play with another persons emotions like that, either I seriously wished to get to know her, or I didn’t, there is NO in between.
I promise my next blog will be personal photographs taken in and around the Lake District National Park.