Playing a game of Snooker aged…….. 20?

“Happiness is a life choice. We choose to be happy or not.” 

Me as a young man playing snooker on an evening out with friends! 

scan0017
:/ I’d love to ask this young man above where he hoped is life would be in 2017. The novel A Christmas Carol comes to mind when I look at this photo, the parts where three spirits whisk Scrooge out into the night air to witness his past, present and future lives, tales of missed opportunities and worse.

Blogging is but a reflection of real life! Write a sexy story then publish on the internet, accompany with a semi nude selfie holding one’s ‘bits & bobs’, and the viewings go through the roof! (The roof for me is probably less than you imagine 🙂 ). Yet write a thoughtful post discussing the moral rights and wrongs of men fighting each other wearing boxing gloves and lol the post sinks without trace! However no real surprises or revelations there, after all the human being is a sexual animal and he loves to read tales of love and fantasy, but as regards boxing, perhaps I won’t return to my day out in London, so here’s a family picture post in its place. 🙂

Btw I’m not in a sad mood, reflective that’s all.

More bad News for you, there’ll be no more nude photos WordPress removed my selfie, you know the photo of me laying on a bed semi nude fondling my balls. However I have NO complaints, WP are extremely accommodating allowing Adult themed material but a Blogger has to take care, too explicit and he’ll find himself in hot water.

Being serious for a second I’ve been dipping into my family photo album once again, and happened upon this image from 20+ years ago, takes me back I can tell you! The back story is a work colleague and dear friend took the picture just as I was about to strike the Snooker ball, and because we’re talking pre digital camera the photo had to then be scanned hence the grainy image!

Hmm, so where have all those in between years gone? Looking at that young man again I’d guess he had hopes dreams and ambitions, that by age 45+ he’d be in good health, have a well paid job, drive a nice car, own his own house, married to a wife with children, and what of present day? Well I’m employed though with a boss no one really likes even though I try my best, I have epilepsy consequently I don’t drive, I own my home, I’m single which upsets me everyday of my life, I don’t have children, and incidentally whilst I’ve been writing this post I’ve just had a thought, perhaps having side stepped fatherhood needs addressing in a future post? 

However on the positive side I’ve led a good clean and blameless life, I’m in reasonable health (could be better but then we all think that), my mum is well, my brother’s happily married with two fantastic boys who are adorable, intelligent, amusing, kind, happy and morally upstanding young men, though growing up all tooo quickly! So as a family we haven’t anything to complain about, by that I mean to say my cousins uncles aunts mother younger sibling and myself seem to led happy contented lives, and no one’s disgraced the family name (yet). But sadly I also shouldn’t forget I’ve lost four wonderful Grandparents along my journey…………a good time to pause Andrew.

scan0002
Grandparents

Looking back, I’d love to have achieved more with my life but then don’t we all say that? I’d love to be living with a woman instead of casual sex, which incidentally I’m totally bored with, but here’s a sobering thought I’ve recently been told 😀 to my face, note in jest!

“Andrew be careful what you wish for because………….” And yes I did understand her affirmation. But my answer will always be ‘no man is an island, we all need to love and be loved’ even though relationships are a rocky road to navigate. Yes sex on tap would be fabulous, marriage lol, the trouble is sexual intercourse is neither fun nor fulfilling without love connection and intimacy, I’ve been there, and truthfully I would have much preferred a cup of tea with the various ladies!

So as to finish on an upbeat tone, I’ll be truthful and say I’m happyish, I have a lot to be thankful for, I’m certainly not one to wallow in discontentment or feel sorry for myself, and firmly believe the secret to enjoying the next 20 years is totally in my control. The choice to be happy or not is mine to make! The ball’s in my court so to speak.

So Andrew where will you be in 20 years time? Hmm there’s a question.

Andrew 🙂

Advertisements

Andrew plays with himself

(Call this Part 1. I just filmed the video AND thought why not make a start 🙂 )

Question. Do you have something you play with when you’re bored?

Of course the answer’s “YES!”

Only trouble is, it’s not socially acceptable to play with one’s genitals whilst sitting in the dentists waiting room is it? 😀 So we’re talking phew” toys!

(Mind you I have an ‘on-the-bus’ story I may share one day 😉 )

Ok if you watched MY YouTube video first you’ll have deduced I’m NOT talking tales of  pleasure, read my Posts and you’ll know I’m rather obsessed with that, no watch the video and you’ll know I’m referring tooo…….

Fidget Toys!

…..and unless you’ve been living under a stone you’ll know ‘Fidget Stress Toys’ are products designed by an American non profit Organisation for those suffering from anxiety or ADHD, or just as important to Play with!

To be continued………………………

© Video filmed by Andrew, narrated by Andrew, uploaded on my YouTube, apologies for a rather short Post, call this an Intro 🙂 )

Andrew 🙂

Movie Night, and a rather odd review

Personal with adult themes. Not for everyone.

One of life’s unfathomable questions for you, think of a Movie! Then ask yourselves why do some people hate everything about that Movie yet others love the tale with a passion perhaps even rating it as their favourite of all time, or let’s say of that particular moment, interesting conundrum don’t you think? A Hollywood Producers Holy Grail.

Tonight being Saturday evening I had intended to walk the half mile into Town and watch ‘La La Land’ now playing at my local cinema, apparently this Movie is billed as a future classic, a throwback to musicals of an earlier era such as Singing In The Rain’, I was going to watch but ultimately didn’t!

Right now I’m tooo tired to summon up the words to honestly describe how dejected and sorry for myself I’m feeling, so as sometimes happens on my blog, a dictionary definition will suffice:

Anxiety – definition – ‘a feeling of worry, nervousness, apprehension, agitation foreboding, unease as regards something with an uncertain outcome’, life! Couldn’t have described the debilitating affects of AvPD any better.

There’s an American Statute named ‘Pursuit of Happiness’, such a strange phrase?

Lazy to cut and paste from Google I know (at least I’m honest), but I ask could you dream up a better answer describing how I feel all or most of the time? All I’ve ever wished in life is to have something my brother has remembering I haven’t an ounce of jealousy in my being, a wife would be nice, simple as, I’d love to have met a woman similar to Jayne, a wonderful mother, homemaker, who’s witty charming, she crafts and sows, is beautiful and going by the contents of her underwear draw I have a guess she’s spectacular in bed (don’t ask how I know long story)…………true love is a gift hookers can never give, ahh but do I visit hookers lol? Women make you happy don’t they? Or as one lady blogger once replied to me, ‘Andrew honey be careful what you wish for’.

Anyways this isn’t a post about escorts or my lovely sister-in-law! (Not a Saint mind lol, no one’s that perfect, the lady can be moody………..and if she ever reads this remember you’re in my Will honey.)

Returning to earlier this evening, I had something to eat, dressed myself in warm coat hat and scarf in preparation for tonight’s freezing temperatures, I stood in my hallway about to open my front door into a cold dark winter’s night then anxiety hit me and all anticipation of happy times disappeared, I asked myself ‘what really is the point going to watch a sweet happy Film on my own? ‘La La Land’ is a Movie for young lovers, retired couples, married parents who’ve left their little ones with a baby sitter all for a deserved relaxing evening out, why go?’………… why would a single middle aged guy feeling rather anxious melancholy and dejected really need to be amongst happy laughing people, endure such hellish tortuous solitude? So I didn’t bother. Anxiety as often does got the better of me tonight, a feeling of ‘what an earth is the f#cking point’ consumed my mind, and all cheerful spirit disappeared, and yes I was even a little tearful as I undressed myself, a panic attack? No. ………… I will watch ‘La La Land’ but some other day, perhaps next week after work in Oxford………….. Loneliness is a disease, solitude fuels depression, I give up, why convince myself I’m enjoying a Movie which has to be viewed sitting next to the person you love? A rhetorical question there is no answer.

All wasn’t lost though, I belong to Lovefilm, you know the ‘club’, you pay a subscription to Amazon and in return they’ll post two DVDs to your home, newly released Movies of your internet choosing to watch on your own, and just so happens one of my two selections was a French Film named ‘I’ve Loved You So Long’. A Movie touching on themes of suicide depression murder sadness and family heartache yet which possesses a wonderful uplifting ending, warms the coldest hearts 🙂 and in my opinion is a masterpiece of a Film, a real weepy so have a box of tissues ready to hand, you’ll NEVER suspect she actually did that!

So I curl up on my sofa with a glass of fresh apple juice, then after two hours of viewing this wonderful tale the Film ends, the credits role, and my brief moment of enjoyment leaves as quickly as it came and I’m left on my own again, a kiss and a cuddle would be nice lol. But as they say tomorrow will be a new day, happiness is a life choice, so I must try to make tomorrow a happy day.

Sad Films are a magnet for unhappy people

Don’t get me wrong though, as bad a movie review as tonight’s post suggests, ‘I’ve Loved You So Long’ is a true classic, intelligent, original with a tour de force performance from Kristen Scott Thomas and her all French cast. Please watch.

I know feeling sorry for oneself isn’t a pretty sight, quite childish actually 😦

© Andrew 🙂