:/ So what DOES a mum’s breast milk taste like?

© Andrew (For some reason the post has repeated itself in the Reader?)

:/ If little else my post themes are out of the ordinary 😀 and I’m aware they may not be everyone’s ‘cup of tea’, but I enjoy writing them and some people enjoy reading them so all’s good and I have so much respect for the fair sex!. ❤

TRUTHFULLY I HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT MOTHER’S MILK ACTUALLY TASTES LIKE?

dfa88e4dfad578e1_bmilk-main.xxxlarge_2xHere’s a question you’ll have asked your mum at some point in your life, “was I breastfed as a baby?” Well I only ever asked my mother once and she replied “NO NEVER!!” …………..Fair enough 😀

Which makes me wonder if being bottle fed formula milk is the reason I have a womanly breast fixation, then again ALL men have a weakness for those milky warm bundles of fun! But being serious for a sec’ I follow a lovely lady on YouTube who’s extremely unhappy men sexualise breasts, forgetting their sole purpose in life is lactating milk to keep babies alive and grow up healthy………………… 😀 and you wonder why I’m so darn confused!

Braless 2I’ve a breastfeeding story for you, now bare in mind last time I wrote a post titled breastfeeding I got myself into all sorts of trouble, in-fact I deleted the post because I upset a lady from NY USA called Cara, so then I posted an apology only to be chastised yet again by a lady name of Paola from West Germany, women you just can’t win! 🙂

But being serious for a second Paola was quite correct a writer should never apologise for the ‘fruits of his labour’, if readers aren’t impressed with my work then please tell me because I enjoy feedback.

One of the many female bloggers I Follow writes by the name of ‘Skinny and Single’ a blogger from Canada and fantastic she is to, a lady on my wavelength irreverent opinionated and hugely amusing. Well recently she wrote a very entertaining breastfeeding themed post to which I commented below, (I’m aware quoting your own reply is a little arrogant and self absorbed but there you are my blog and all that 😛 )

‘A good few years ago my sister-in-law ‘plonked’ her youngest in my lap, gave me a bottle of her mummy milk and said “feed B. while I have a shower”, the point of my story is I wanted to drop a little on my hand and taste BUT through sheer will power alone I stopped myself, the temptation was near unbearable! However I didn’t ;( trouble is ever since that evening I’ve wondered what breast milk tastes of? (True story I once wrote a blog post but later deleted)’

What I really wanted to say was “let the baby feed himself and I’ll take a shower with you”………………… ONLY FRIGGING JOKING!!!

I’m not quite sure why I need to qualify my comment with ‘true story’, very strange because I’m ALWAYS honest and yes tis true, as I looked down at his feeding bottle (he’s 9 now) to say I was curious and intrigued is an understatement if ever there was one, ‘what does this creamy liquid taste of?’ I thought to myself, and looking back all these years I regret not having ‘dabbed’ a drop on my skin and tasted, but she’d have been disgusted and no I wouldn’t have……….I’m a nice guy ;)…… and as my sister-in-law took her well earned rest from motherhood I wonder if she asked herself ‘would Andrew dare?’……..we’ll both never know will we!

shows two 25ml samples of human breastmilk foremilk on the left and hindmilk on the right.pngOn reflection my sis-in-law’s milk LOOKED creamy, most definitely hindmilk.

Two points to finish this meandering post with. Did you know if a guy was so inclined he could purchase human breast milk from the internet, though medical doctors point out drinking is fraught with health and infection implications, and btw I haven’t or never intend to purchase on-line, apparently men consider human milk aids strength and agility? So there you are ladies, there’s a good little earner for you, I’m not sure as to the pricing per jar but you could express and express and express and make yourselves a few dollars!

And did you know (I’m great in pub quizzes) two thousand years ago in ancient Rome, Emperors would drink young girl’s breast milk because they hoped it made them live longer.

Yes-Drinking-Breast-Milk-Is-Good-For-Adults-Too.png
The very funny Jim Carrey

Oh yes I said two points before I leave you tonight!

I’m searching for a reason which now escapes me, many years ago whilst surfing the internet I happened across a website, American well it would be wouldn’t it haha, I stumbled across this website with a photo of a very pretty young lady sitting in a rocking chair which caught my eye, and believe it or not she advertised her boob services for men with a taste for women’s breast milk!

:/ “nowt as strange as folk” as my Grandpa would say.

Yep as sure as I’m sitting here tonight tapping on my laptop, Gods honest truth a guy could contact her through email, then I guess herself or her partner obviously vetted applicants for sanity and weirdness, possibly have the local sheriff run a prison record check and then the ‘customer’ could visit her home, and for an undisclosed fee though sure as ‘eggs is eggs’ her milk will cost you a few quid, he could suckle warm delicious rejuvenating mother’s milk straight from her nipple…………………..but here’s a thing…………..what does it taste like? Similar to cow’s milk? I am so curious.

Bingo!! I’ve just this second remembered something my sister-in-law told me, “Andrew………..when I eat Indian curry takeaways baby B. skin turns a light yellow colour”………wow I pulled that deep from within my consciousness!

HOWEVER the breastfeeding lady in question had strict rules, or should I say rule singular, the guy paying for her milk services wasn’t allowed to touch a boob under any circumstances, which seems fair, there’s a fine line between a service and a sexual favour.

So again lady readers if you’re looking for a money-making opportunity, which let’s face it WILL be very profitable, get yourselves a website upload Photographs of yourself seated in a rocking chair, recline back and see what happens…….. you never know 😉 I may even apply!!

Here’s another one of my silly anecdotes for you,

Several years ago I happened to overhear two young ladies in conversation when one girl says to her friend, “boys ask to feel your tits but when you let them they don’t know what to do with them!” que fits of giggles.

Andrew 🙂

 

Is admitting my regret at not tasting a little creepy? My inquisitiveness unhealthy? Or does admitting that if I had my time over again licking that milky drip off my skin belie a calamitous flaw in my moral character? Hmm there’s a thought :/ and as my sister-in-law took her well earned rest from motherhood I wonder if she asked herself ‘would he dare?’……..we’ll both never know will we!

Two points to finish this meandering post with. Did you know if a guy was so inclined he could purchase human breast milk from the internet, though medical doctors point out drinking is fraught with health and infection implications, and btw I haven’t or never intend to purchase on-line, apparently men consider human milk aids strength and agility? So there you are ladies, there’s a good little earner for you, I’m not sure as to the pricing per jar but you could express and express and express and make yourselves a few dollars!

And did you know (I’m great in pub quizzes) two thousand years ago in ancient Rome, Emperors would drink young girl’s breast milk because they hoped it made them live longer.

Yes-Drinking-Breast-Milk-Is-Good-For-Adults-Too.png
The very funny Jim Carrey

Oh yes I said two points before I leave you tonight!

I’m searching for a reason which now escapes me, many years ago whilst surfing the internet I happened across a website, American well it would be wouldn’t it haha, I stumbled across this website with a photo of a very pretty young sitting in a rocking chair which caught my eye, and believe it or not she advertised her boob services for men with a taste for women’s breast milk!

:/ “nowt as strange as folk” as my Grandpa would say.

Yep as sure as I’m sitting here tonight tapping on my laptop, Gods honest truth a guy could contact her through email, then I guess herself or her partner obviously vetted applicants for sanity and weirdness, possibly have the local sheriff run a prison record check and then the ‘customer’ could visit her home, and for an undisclosed fee though sure as ‘eggs is eggs’ her milk will cost you a few quid, he could suckle warm delicious rejuvenating mother’s milk straight from her nipple…………………..but here’s a thing…………..what does milk taste like? Similar to cows milk? I am so curious.

Bingo!! I’ve just this second remembered something my sister-in-law told me, “Andrew………..when I eat Indian curry takeaways baby B. skin turns a light yellow colour”………wow I pulled that deep from within my consciousness!

HOWEVER the breastfeeding lady in question had strict rules, or should I say rule singular, the guy paying for her milk services wasn’t allowed to touch a boob under any circumstances, which seems fair, there’s a fine line between a service and a sexual favour.

So again lady readers if you’re looking for a money-making opportunity, which let’s face it WILL be very profitable, get yourselves a website upload Photographs of yourself seated in a rocking chair, recline back and see what happens…….. you never know 😉 I may even apply!!

A trivia fact for you, a girl and her friend were chatting (I was listening in :/ ) and one says to the other, “men wanna grope your tits but when you let them they don’t know what to do with them!”…………. true?

(Btw you should see some of the photos I’ve happened across on Google tonight, show one of them and the Women’s Institute would frigging lynch me! 😀 )

Andrew 🙂

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Breastfeeding on a train and I’m quite frankly disgusted!

Ahh 😀 I bet that Title caught your attention………..perhaps you’re curious “What’s gone and upset Andrew this evening?” ……and yes I agree my previous post was a little self indulgent but a little introspection is fine in small doses, re reading two months from now might be interesting?

I do enjoy these posts where I just write honestly and freely!

If you’ve read my naughtier posts and think I’m sexist read on, if not skip to the photograph below.

(The following morning on the 21st, I edited replaced the word misogynist with sexist, WOW I never realised misogynist is defined ‘A hater of women’, God, I don’t think any reader thinks I hate women…………. hmm 😀 sexist? You decide)

………..very occasionally I’ll contemplate the themes and content of my previous 92 posts, I did that the other day and re revisited one or two of my saucy posts and it dawned on me my language towards women could be seen as sexist, I’m not, I enjoy the company of women and I have utmost respect for the fair sex, but you have to realise since age 16 I’ve worked in male dominated environments and rightly or wrongly a blog allows us the freedom to write how we wish, within reason, or what’s the flipping point? ………… In truth I’m like all men, I’m a naughty boy at heart and writing ‘explicit’ posts makes me smile nothing more……… and anyways one overseas lady follower says 😀 she skips my naughtier posts which is fine………….a shame really b’cause they’re such fun to write.)

Returning to my frankly bizarre inflammatory Title, let me make clear I’m fine with a woman feeding her baby breast milk so as to keep the infant alive and grow up healthy.

Now look at this viral photograph circulating on Twitter the News and all other social media…………the lady is Bryony Esther and she’s feeding daughter Saffron 🙂

 

BreastfeedingI truly wish I’d been a seated passenger on that train travelling through the South of England because this  is a truly sad photograph, if I was one of those guys with blurred out faces I would have given up my seat and insisted the young lady sat down to feed her baby, but no this story is World News because none of those men did and worse still the owner of the bike is sat in a priority seat for disable, pensioner or anyone else in need……………….. fucking selfish bastard!!

In her words “Despite ‘hovering’ near the priority seating area no-one offered to move and instead began sniggering”.

On all levels this is such a sad photograph, a young lady with upset in her eyes and many selfish grown men lacking all humanity and common decency and I hope their mums sisters girlfriends and wives get to see this selfie ‘snapped’ by Bryony herself!

I’m certainly no angel and I’m not looking for plaudits or praise, but do you ever find yourself reading a story watching a News item and thinking ‘I wish I’d been there’ so I could do the right thing’………….such a sad photo! Why are people such assholes?

As for breastfeeding in public, don’t get me started, I’ve been there when my sister-in-law has breast fed one of her three sons in public, what’s the big deal? Why do people complain? I while ago I was walking towards the centre of Oxford and passed by a lady seated at a pavement table outside a restaurant, and as I walked by I remember thinking to myself how beautiful is that, what is more natural than a woman feeding her baby.

© Andrew

 

 

11. Breast Milk but alas with no sandwich

Sandwich

This Post used to be one of my late night ‘seemed like a good idea at the time’ stories (click Sandwich above) :/ laced with tooo much honesty even a little dishonesty and yes poetic licence 🙂 and now removed! So my apologies if you’ve read and I’ve offended, but there you are I enjoy writing, it’s my blog and ‘at least lol I didn’t kick any puppies!!!’

Andrew