Original and ©Andrew.
Before I begin my little tale a question for you, is the dictionary definition for the word Hooker universally understood? If not then perhaps this explanation helps, 🙂 Typically a woman who engages in sexual activity for payment.
However, before you whisper to yourself, “Jeeze, as well as watching his neighbour strip in her bedroom, he sees hookers as well? I’m finished with Andrew! 😛 “
Hold ON a minute! IMPORTANTLY THIS TALE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME VISITING HOOKERS! I bumped into one that’s all. Ok are we clear?
Midway through writing a serious response post to a French lady living in England another true tale sifted into my mind, amazing how that happens, a remark or observation in turn prompts you to recall a memory you wished to be misplaced, simply because it’s too painful to dwell on. Or maybe a regrettable event you hoped would be forgotten forever!
Other times, and always when you least expect it, a remark a thought will prompt memories of an amusing true tale that you hoped and assumed you’d remember for the rest of you life, a heart warming personal experience that would make you smile when life is so darn boring and predictable that you truly need your spirits lifted. An incident, such as this tale, pricking my imagination into gear as I relived an anecdote that both impressed my work colleagues and literally had them belly laughing!
The day I was propositioned by a hooker.
Maybe not the most earth shattering News you’ve ever read but ask yourselves have you ever had a prostitute ask you for sex? No? Well I have so the tale’s worth telling again, though rather disturbingly the hooker in question seemed to instinctively recognise a possible paying client just by looking at him. ME!!
Hmm , me thinks there’s visual qualities about myself that I’m unaware of?
However I didn’t avail myself of her services but she sure was an interesting story to tell the lads back at work later that day, and then there’s the question if I hadn’t been so naïve and slow on the uptake I may have followed her, because I’m an impulsive type of guy………….but I didn’t!
So have you ever been propositioned by a hooker? Or worse still been mistaken for one!
Several summer’s ago my employer instructed me to visit the City of London to go pick up 6 small bronze statues from a metal foundry located in ‘rich and trendy’ Chelsea, you’ll recognise the name, a home to wealthy footballers and Russian oligarchs.
A day trip in works time, paid by your employer, is known in the engineering industry as a jolly, all the more exciting because it’s simply a break from the daily grind of work with expenses and food paid for and best of all your colleagues envy you like hell. 😛
So come the morning in question I go to work as usual, I’m gifted a reasonable financial allowance, say my grinning goodbyes for the day and make for Oxford’s railway Station. Buying my ticket I board a London bound train for the hours journey into Paddington Station, a drab place I’ve visited many times throughout my life being as it’s the London link to the whole West of Great Britain. I’ve travelled through Paddington Station as far back as a small child summer holidaying with my Grandparents.
Anyways returning to my story, I join fellow commuters leaving the train carriage, again buy more tickets and make my way to the Underground tube station, I love the London Underground for the sheer atmosphere and history that near seeps from the Victorian décor. Coupled with the fact in many deep bore stations you find yourself standing on platforms which, 60 years previous, would have been populated by London’s citizens sleeping in rows of bunk-beds all sheltering from falling bombs dropped by Nazi heavy bombers. Then after the ok siren had been sounded they’d climb the hundreds of steps to the surface not knowing if they have a home to go to! These citizens rebuilt a Nation! 🙂
After a change I finally exited Sloane Square tube station walking out into the bright sunlight of a late summers morning, crowded with people as Capital cities always are especially London being populated by rude impersonal and not so happy looking faces rushing to wherever they have to go, so very different to sedate Oxford with it’s tourists and University students.
So I exit the tube station by turning right onto the pavement, and walking no more than ten paces I near bumped into a young woman blocking my path! She wasn’t begging for money in fact she looked fashionably dressed, slim my height, mid length straight blonde hair wearing a baggy black leather jacket and sheer black tights (not fishnet!) Denim skirt with a hem stopping midway upon her thighs and definitely not tooo short. As for footwear I cannot honestly remember if she wore heals or below the knee boots?
No matter, the point to my description is the lady didn’t appear like your average lol street hooker, not that I’m acquainted with any mind, but I’ve seen Julie Robert’s in ‘Pretty Woman’ a God awful Movie, to comprehend what a prostitute looks like.
So I’m stopped in my tracks by this lady and remember I’m already feeling extremely disorientated, then with a smile she initiates a friendly conversation speaking with an, yes wait for it, East European accent which I’m straining to understand and I find myself answering questions with a “I’m visiting on a day trip”, “I have plenty of time”. In hindsight I now see the lady was playing a quizzing game and I can assure you in no way shape or form do I look like a policeman. 😀
Then quite bizarrely she starts throwing into our conversation quick fire questions like, “Have you money?”,
“Would you like to come with me?”, and only then with her final,
“I’ll suck!” did the ‘penny finally drop’ and I realised she was a hooker asking if I’d pay for sex!
So Andrew what did you do next? My short and sweet answer is I replied to the young lady a polite but stunned “No”, then I brushed past her and briskly went on my way. As you’d imagine I laughed thinking to myself ‘they’re going to love this story at work’ and they did!
My apologies if you’re disappointed by the ending to my tale, I guess an anti-climax (groan!!) But as I said at the beginning of this post, amusing events such as being propositioned by a hooker are worth remembering because they make you smile and often when you need one. 🙂
😀 And sitting here now I can just imagine her sighing to herself,
“Jeeze this guy’s slow on the uptake!”