Remy the Rat (jff)


My brother has a rat story even more horrific than any Halloween Movie and probably the worst nightmare any guy could imagine dreaming! I’ve been speaking to him on the phone earlier today and it turns the family has a new pet along with the rabbits and chickens, come to think of it they’re the reason my brother now has a rat problem! Chickens and rabbits are quite tasty.Read More »


Strung tighter than a fiddler’s bow

One of my top ten favourite movies, makes me cry and that’s no easy feat.

Mary Tyler Moore died this week, now I’m not old enough to remember her portrayal of all American moms in 1960s television sitcoms but I do know her characters were usually amusing lovable housewives, ‘cute cookies’ have you will and always exuding a strong sexy appeal to satisfy the dads watching, you just knew her characters could cook delicious meals and be a filthy sex goddess in the bedroom, in the nicest possible way ūüôā

Then in 1981 Mary surprised the viewing public by playing the character of Beth in Robert Redford’s ‘Ordinary People’ (a family drama which I may write about). The film was awarded 4 Oscars that year but shamefully Mary didn’t win, OK shamefully is a little ott but anyone who’s seen ‘Ordinary People’¬†will tell you she stole the movie with a magnificent character performance.

Remember I titled my post¬†Strung tighter than a fiddlers bow? Well¬†if you’ve seen ‘Ordinary¬†People’ you’ll know I’m referring to Beth¬†a berieved mentally unstable mother on the verge of a nervous breakdown. At the time¬†Mary’s good clean wholesome image was chalk and cheese to Beth’s various personality disorders, I guess the measure of Mary as an actress is that she gave a masterful performance of two women who couldn’t be more dissimilar, hence most people of the time were of the opinion Mary was robbed of her Oscar………. without googling I wonder who one best supporting actress that year?

I recommend you watch, and by the way I saw this years¬†La La Land’, what an earth is with all the hype and awards? I hated it! ūüėÄ

¬© Andrew ūüôā

34 – Pt 3. This is a preface to MY OWN voyeur story!

Note this isn’t a movie review ūüôā

To those of you reading in WordPress¬†Land the screenshots are of course¬†borrowed from the master of suspense and voyeurism himself, Alfred Hitchcock, and the annoying GIFs are¬†taken from¬†his movie ‘Rear Window’¬†where Jimmy Stewart is of course spying on Miss Lonelyheart, who may or may not be a Prostitute he never lets on, but I like to think¬†‘yes’¬†and my guess knowing Alfred Hitchcock Miss Lonelyheart is really a Hooker, he loved his blondes¬†but who knows?

Conversely Miss Lonelyheart¬†represents the disaster of single life, she was always¬†being visited by single men,¬†were they suitors? Or lovers? But that’s a different tale and I’m on a roll talking voyeurism.

This isn’t a movie review ūüôā

After writing 2¬†posts titled ‘Voyeurism’ you would have assumed I’d done my homework and¬†consulted¬†a Dictionary, showed you a little professionalism, respected¬†my reader, done some research like all you proper writers!

You’d have thought I’d looked up the true meaning wouldn’t you?

You’d be wrong, I was lazy.

Miss Lonelyheart (btw one of my favourite films)

I’d assumed Voyeurism just meant watching people go about their daily business but I was wrong, turns out the true definition is darker……a whole¬†lot darker and¬†even a little sinister!!¬†Yes Downblouse and Upskirt are¬†distasteful and illegal practices but I’d never¬†fully appreciated ‘Voyeurism is¬†the practice of spying on people engaged in intimate behaviours, such as undressing,¬†or other actions usually considered to be of a private nature.’ (Courtesy of Wikipedia)

I’ll spare you any YouPorn¬†voyeurism videos¬†because I absolutely detest pornography and by that I mean legal consensual pornography between adults…….I truly hate it!

Voyeur (def): a person who obtains sexual pleasure or excitement from the observation of someone undressing, yep more darker and sinister than I’d first assumed. OK¬†I agree Voyeur is¬†only a word after all, but I wish I’d appreciated there’s a difference between watching someone get on a bus and secretly¬†observing women undress err for examples sake!

Lol anyways now I know.

Actor Kevin Bacon voyeur to¬†his ‘prey’ in the movie Hollow Man

I¬†‘penned’ a¬†story on my previous blog¬†which may or may not have been true. That blog’s long gone so I’ve decided¬†to write again and¬†I am not going to apologise for letting you decide again, bloggers keep replying telling me not¬†to say sorry, they say ūüôā Andrew write what you wish and let the reader decide ūüôā

So here’s my¬†late night¬†voyeuristic tale¬†set against¬†the backdrop of¬†a very non typical English summers¬†evening, I say non typical, I’m told in America’s Deep South hot and humid evenings are described as ‘swampy’ well¬†if you live in England you’ll get two or three ‘clammy evenings’ a year!¬†I’m labouring the point here with the humidity references but you get the idea when I say¬†tonight was one of those evenings where you walk around the house naked, and so damn hot and humid¬†you’re balls would be¬†sweating ūüėÄ

One summer evening several years ago I happened to be looking out my bedroom window, the time was midnight and I’d just gotten out of bed.


‘Through slightly parted curtains I propped myself up¬†against the¬†bedroom¬†window¬†sill and looked across the¬†fields behind the house opposite, tonight I was watching a truly spectacular thunder and lightening display,¬†mother natures power can be truly awe inspiring……………..


(A little naughty of me to pause¬†but¬†I haven’t¬†finished editing yet¬†and gulp I only hope I haven’t, to borrow a cookery phrase,¬†I hope I haven’t ‘over egged’¬†my tale¬†to such an extent¬†you’re disappointed!

I’ll tell you this much though, tonight’s events might or might not be true¬†and¬†I’m not telling which, but if you know me you’ll¬†guess right.)

Pt 1  Pt 2 are hopefully an interesting read.



27 – ‘The Child Catcher’ – Halloween

A movie question for you, is¬†‘The Child Catcher’ the creepiest character¬†to appear in¬†children’s cinema? I would¬†say the definition of a horror movie character is one that gives you nightmares!! Well ‘The Child Catcher’ from ‚ÄėChitty Chitty Bang Bang‚Äô is written for children and¬†often remembered into adulthood as giving them nightmares!!!

So this is¬†my Halloween¬†movie revue¬†written¬†for those who hadn’t heard of¬†‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’¬†and¬†what better way to explain the film than write a Post through the eyes of only¬†one character, one which¬†hopefully others will enjoy.

What have…………………

  • Hannibal Lecter
  • Jigsaw Killer
  • Darth Vader
  • The T1000
  • The Joker
  • Crueller de Vil
  • Wicked Witch of the North
  • and The Child Catcher

………………. all have in common? Answer, they have¬†all¬†been voted the most Evil Characters in film, quite a chilling list¬†and in my opinion ‘The¬†Child Catcher’¬†adds¬†an extra dimension……. yes he’s¬†VERY creepy’ but he also resonates in todays big bad world, there’s an honesty¬†about him which the others don’t have, in real life there are creepy men out there, men who abduct children and I think he taps into childrens and parents psyche. It’s said¬†The Child Catcher¬†gave children¬†nightmares, I’m unsure if that’s¬†actually true but clearly I remember age 10 going to Hull Regal Cinema with my Grandma and¬†experiencing a fright with his creepy face seared across my imagination ever since. But perhaps today’s children playing computer games are less innocent than children of the 1970s and perhaps ‘shock scares’ don’t work as well.

Whilst researching this post I¬†came across a¬†Social Media Poll which voted The Child Catcher¬†as one of the most terrifying¬†characters in kids’ Films……with¬†his skipping¬†dance and jingly black cape¬†actor Robert Helpmann¬†is¬†both¬†sinister and spine¬†chillingly creepy, take a¬†look at his picture and tell me what you see?¬†I would¬†say he¬†has the look of a modern day child¬†********¬†so feared by parents! I’ll say no more.

But don’t panic¬†‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’¬†isn’t a horror film,¬†believe it or not you’ll be watching a fairy tale family musical movie¬†with catchy tunes which perhaps juxtaposes this evil man even more! And¬†hey this is Halloween so I’m obliged to give you a movie many adults rate as their earliest screen fright memory.

The Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!

I’m going to refrain from¬†writing¬†my own movie¬†review¬†of¬†this 1968 children’s musical, firstly because film favourites are deeply personal subjective and near impossible to recommend, and secondly professional film critics are far more skilled than I (so they say! ūüėÄ )

rrrrrrrr  Rotten Tomatoes rated CCBB a healthy 7/10

Brief Synopsis, a children’s musical, lots of catchy tunes, funny, happy, with¬†a flying car, adorable family, castle, and¬†an all round¬†‘evil baddie’ and¬†all from a book written by Ian Fleming with a screenplay¬†from Roald Dahl……….. pretty impressive hey?

Robert Helpmann both ballet dancer and actor

I hope at this point readers are still with me! I’ve kept the first part easy to follow,¬†a short¬†description seems more fun than writing a film review incidentally the stage version is still very popular with British audiences

‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’ wasn’t¬†an all happy experience for¬†Robert Helpmann because¬†his face became synonymous with that of¬†a child catcher! I guess¬†some people blur fiction and reality and¬†become¬†confused between¬†a film¬†personification¬†and the real man, which is sad because¬†afterwards Robert often felt he had to reinforce the fact he loved children which must have been upsetting.

Perhaps I’m overplaying the film a little, ‘The Child Catcher’ is not the main character in the film,¬†in fact he doesn’t appear until an hour and forty minutes in and then only for ten minutes or so but what a quite memorable ten minutes!¬†Incidentally¬†he doesn’t appear in the book either having¬†being dreamt up¬†from Roald¬†Dahl’s imagination¬†which probably explains why adults remember him so vividly, it’s been a while since I’ve read a Roald Dahl novel, probably I should visit mums go in the attic and re read¬†our old childrens books.

As I’ve explained err several times I’ll refrain from a full review and I hope I haven’t built the film up tooo¬†greatly for modern sophisticated audiences? But on reflection¬†I think¬†a creepy man with giant net enticing children into his cage with¬†promises of free candy and ice cream¬†has a¬†resonance today.

Movie still

Robert’s portrayal is evil through and through, he’s¬†a villain, he’s the creature under the bed he’s¬†a boogieman of¬†childrens silver screen, he‚Äôs designed to be a nightmare,¬†carrying a pole with metal hook attached trying to¬†catch children¬†and although he’s only in a couple of short¬†scenes he is able to create a chilling monster………..¬†but I’d say in a healthy way?

Finally The Child Catcher has made a number of lists for the most frightening villain/characters of all time:

  1. He made Entertainment Weekly‚Äôs list of ‚Äú50 Most Vile Movie Villains,‚ÄĚ
  2. Several Empire Magazine lists, a Digital Spy list.
  3. Total Film‚Äôs ‚ÄúGreatest Movie Villains‚ÄĚ list.
  4. CBBC (Children’s British Broadcasting Corporation) poll voted him the scariest villain from a children’s book.